One Stooge Short

"Oh…my head…" Tomax moaned as he sat up in the conference room. His hair was standing up straight and he was covered in egg nog.

"It's like the Dreadnoks threw a party in it," Xamot his twin brother agreed, also in an equally disheveled state. He then looked around the trashed conference room. "Perhaps they did?"

"This is a bit more disconcerting than usual," Tomax frowned as the twins stood up.

"What the bloody hell happened here?" Xamot looked around. "It looks like someone vomited egg nog all over the place and then set it on fire."

"That's essentially what did happen," The Baroness staggered in. She was covered in egg nog and her hair smelled burnt. "Oh good. You two are finally awake. You can help with the clean-up."

"Baroness what happened?" Tomax said.

"Just what I said," The Baroness sighed as she made her way to the bar. "There's egg nog all over the place and Cobra Commander tried to get rid of it by using a flame thrower. Not the brightest of moves on something that is mostly made of alcohol."

"But how…?" Xamot began.

"Mindbender was fooling around with…" The Baroness began as she poured herself a drink.

"Say no more," Tomax interrupted, holding up his hand.

"Now we get the picture," Xamot groaned.

"All in all it was a typical Cobra New Year's Eve," The Baroness sighed as she sipped a drink. "Welcome to 2014."

"It's just as well we were unconscious," Tomax groaned. "What else did we miss?"

"Let's see…" The Baroness thought. "Oh both Steves are in the infirmary with a concussion and some food poisoning. They tried to drink the egg nog monster and apparently the eggs used were past their expiration date…"

"Good," Xamot grinned. "How did…"

"They get a concussion?" Tomax finished.

"They both slipped on the egg nog and hit their heads on each other," The Baroness sighed. "It was like a scene out of a Three Stooges movie. Only it was one stooge short."

"What else?" Xamot asked.

"Mongoose Incorporated fired Torch and the Dreadnoks," The Baroness went on. "After Torch burned down their headquarters. And Destro's castle. And a police station."

"It's about time," Tomax grunted.

"Yeah the cat is out of the bag on the Dreadnoks and their cover is blown," The Baroness nodded. "On the up side so is former Cadet Deming. After getting into a lovely firefight in front of the press, proof and some rather incriminating videos of her association with Cobra…And the two of you were leaked online."

"What kind of proof?" Xamot asked.

"The same kind of proof Kim Kardshian had with Ray J," The Baroness smirked. "Only there's two of you and her ass isn't half as big."

"It's not the one with us on the trampoline and the leaf blower is it?" Tomax realized.

"The trampoline, the leaf blower and the watermelon…" The Baroness grinned.

"Oh no…" Xamot winced. "That was not…"

"One of our better ones," Tomax winced at the same time.

"Anyway the rest of the traitors at Mongoose Incorporated got away scott free because Deming cut some deal not to testify against them and vice versa," The Baroness groaned. "At least that is what we can figure out."

"She must have a good attorney," Xamot mused.

"A real good one," The Baroness groaned. "She somehow managed to get any charges dropped against her and is now negotiating with E network for her own reality show."

"That woman has more lives than a cat," Tomax groaned. "Anything else?"

"SQUAWK! SQUAWK!"

"GET OFF ME! AAAGHHH! GET OFF ME YOU FLYING RATS!"

Cobra Commander ran by being attacked by several seagulls. "I HATE SEAGULLS! WHEN I BECOME RULER OF THE WORLD THE FIRST THING I AM GOING TO DO IS IMPLEMENT A SEAGULL EXTERMINATION PROGRAM! AAAAAH!"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT COBRA COMMANDER!" Destro yelled as he ran after with some seagulls attacking him as well.

"I HAVE BIRD POOP ALL OVER MY UNIFORM!" Cobra Commander screamed. "AAAAHHH!"

"HOLD STILL COBRA COMMANDER!" Mindbender ran by wearing his outfit from the other night (yes the glittering purple short shorts) carrying a strange weapon. "I THINK I CAN FRY THOSE BIRDS OFF YOU!"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAPPP!

"YEOWWWW! YOU GOT ME YOU FOOL!" Cobra Commander screamed. "AAAAHH!"

"YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE SEAGULLS YOU HACK!" Destro ran by again with the birds.

"JUST HOLD STILL!" Mindbender ran by again.

"NO WAY IN HELL YOU DERANGED….AAAAAAH!" Destro yelled then a loud thud was heard. Then a mild explosion.

"Nothing more than usual," The Baroness shrugged.