Chapter 181

Unaware of Caitlin's fears and doubts, Hugo was actually looking forward to helping her to move house. It would mean being close to her, working together, and even though he'd have to leave her by herself in a strange place afterwards, at least she would be safe.

He had left the Pemberley stables in Peter's capable hands, and considering Caitlin's meagre possessions he had decided he did not need to bring help to do the heavy lifting. He was certain that Fowler would have been pleased to help out, but frankly Hugo didn't want a younger man with similar attractions to himself around the woman he had been forced to admit to himself he adored: what if she liked the other man better? Besides, Caitlin was very independent, she would prefer to do her own lifting and where she lived, there was no-one to see her doing a man's work. If he took the cart with both cobs they could manage everything in one trip with room to spare, including the chicken coop and the goats.

On impulse he decided to drive past her hut instead of picking her up in Ripley, they hadn't arranged a place, just a time, and he'd assumed he'd meet her at the widow's place. But she had to feed her goats and she wouldn't want to make a scene taking leave of her friend, it was more like her to just leave the village quietly and greet Hugo in the privacy of her own place. And his instinct proved to be right, she was sitting outside in the sun with Ben, waiting for him to drop by.

'Jean, you made it! And with a cart and a whole team of horses. Didn't Mr Darcy need them himself?'

'These are the horses the staff uses for heavy loads, Caitlin. Mr Darcy has special horses for his carriage, really fast and beautiful ones.'

'Aren't these beautiful? I love how strong they look, and they have such sweet faces.'

'I do think they are beautiful in their own way, but they're not very fast. You'll see. Though we'll be glad of that if we cannot get your goats on the cart for then we´ll have to tie them to the back and hope they can keep up. Are you ready for some hard work, Ben?'

'Yes, Jean, I cannot wait to see our new cottage. Let's get started, I've already packed my things in a sack.'

Caitlin watched the two of them with a look that Hugo couldn't exactly put a name to, but made him feel a flash of hope. Did he dare tell her he would stop seeing other women? In the hope that she'd give him a chance to win her?

This was not the moment to risk making her uncomfortable, she had told him their current relationship suited her fine, he did not have the right to burden her with his feelings. So he merely had the team turn the cart, difficult enough on the narrow path in front of the hut but of course he was the best driver in the county, excepting maybe Bob. Then he tied the horses to a tree and jumped to the ground, ready for some heavy lifting.

Despite Caitlin's meagre possessions, it took them an hour to move everything out of the house, until only the furnace was left. Hugo expected the cottage to contain quite a lot of old furniture, including probably a better furnace than this one, but there was no reason to leave it behind if they could lift it.

As Hugo entered the hut for what he guessed was the last time, he saw Caitlin standing inside with her back to him. She must have heard him enter but she didn't move, which warned him something was off, so he didn't say anything but merely moved to stand next to her where she could see him. He wanted to take her in his arms but he didn't dare, he did not have the right and she had never liked to be held.

'I can't say I've been happy here, but Ben was born here and it has been home for ten years.'

She looked at him with tears in her eyes, and Hugo couldn't help it, he had to offer her all the comfort he dared give, which was little enough. He had never seen her cry, she was so strong.

When she entered the offered embrace his heart skipped several beats, and he very slowly, very carefully closed his arms around her.

'I'm so afraid of what is to come, Jean. I wasn't happy here but as least I wasn't desperate anymore. These last few days have been torture, the fear, the uncertainty, I just cannot bear it anymore. I'm sorry to bother you with this but I have no-one else.'

Her arms clutched him and he gently led her head to rest on his chest, daring to hold her tightly now since she seemed to need that for this rare moment in which she finally allowed herself to let her fear out. He went as far as to bend over her to kiss her hair, it felt a bit like taking advantage of her moment of weakness but he just couldn't help himself, he loved her, he knew that now more than ever.

But Caitlin didn't even notice, she had finally given in to her grief and fear and was crying now, not sobbing or wailing, she had merely let go of her iron discipline and trusted Hugo enough to seek comfort with him and let him see her distress and help her face it.

Ben came in, saw the two of them and whispered, 'I'll keep an eye on the horses.'

He was such a brave boy, and probably glad to have an adult around to face his mother's grief with her.

'Will you please keep visiting for awhile, Jean? A few weeks, maybe a month? Until we've settled a little? I don't think I can bear facing this move all by myself, and Ben needs me. Can you wait that long before you get married? I know it's a lot to ask.'

Oh, how he wished to tell her he loved her, promise her to be faithful to her forever, fall on his knees to beg her forgiveness for his previous insensitivity and to marry him after all.

But he couldn't, she was under great stress, she might consent to feel safe in a difficult situation, or feel forced to accept him or lose his support. All he could do now was be her friend and promise to stay her friend until she no longer needed him.

'I will not desert you, Caitlin, I promise. I will keep visiting, and I'll be your friend for as long as you need me.'

The way he said ´friend´ it didn't even hurt, she knew he would hold her like this and make love to her every time they met, not just help her make a pen for the goats and be kind to Ben. She also knew she would need him forever, and yet she couldn't claim him however much she wanted to, somehow she had come to love him despite knowing he could never love any woman like most men did. For now, it was enough to know he wouldn't just stop coming to marry some local woman straight away, once she was settled in Witham life would become easier again, hopefully even more so than it had been here.

Ben would be wondering why they didn´t come out with the furnace, they´d better get back to work or Jean might get into trouble with his master. His employer, she corrected herself, Jean did not bow to a man merely because he was rich, Mr Darcy needed his stable master to keep his horses safe and also himself and his wife when they were on the road.

She gently removed herself from Jean´s embrace, kissed him once on his lips, then moved to the other end of the furnace.

´I got it in here myself, so we should be able to lift it easily.´

And they did, it was a simple thing but it had served her well, and hopefully would for a few more years.

With all her worldly goods safely stowed away in the open cart, including the chicken coop with all the chickens, it was time to decide what to do with the goats. They could tie them to the back of the cart, but that might be dangerous for the goats since they might not be able to keep up with the horses.

´I´ll sit with them on the cart, holding each on a lead rope, mum. They know me, they come when I call them, I am certain they will not try to jump off the cart when I'm with them. You sit on the box with Jean, and if I have trouble controlling them I will call out and you can help me.´

´You are the best son a mother could have, Ben. Thank you.´

Caitlin suspected Ben knew her feelings for Jean, and was giving her as much chance to be with him as was possible. He would be devastated when Jean stopped coming, and he wouldn´t understand, he was ten years old, an age at which children still believed everything in life was simple, black and white with no grey areas.

Despite her despondent thoughts, their trip was a real treat and Caitlin managed to thoroughly enjoy it. After a short drive through the forest she knew intimately, they passed the mill with its barking dog and the noisy waterwheel, and then they were beyond her knowledge, and already on Mr Darcy's land. Caitlin expected the road to improve, but instead it got much worse, it was a mere path through a dark and very mysterious pine forest and very muddy. The poor horses strained to pull the cart through the mud, but Jean didn't seem worried so Caitlin merely enjoyed the scent of the pines and the quiet around them. And the closeness of the man sitting beside her, he seemed different somehow, not tense but alert, she guessed he was like this when he was at work. His hands managed to keep both sets of reins separate, and he kept a constant eye on their surroundings, whereas the horses seemed to mostly keep an ear or an eye on him.

Soon enough they left the pine forest, and a lovely open landscape with beautiful solitary trees scattered over a grassy slope stretched before them. At the bottom of the hill was a stream almost large enough to be called a river, with a bridge instead of a ford. And on their right, past a rather hideous fake Greek or Roman temple, lay a huge house. That had to be Pemberley, and the very sight of it gave Caitlin the shivers, though it was totally different from the manor house where she had served in her youth. It was much larger, and rather beautiful as it stood in solitary splendour on the long slope, forest above it and behind it, and on the top of the opposite hill. Fortunately, the road gave it a wide berth, leading towards the bridge looking much more as she'd expected, smooth and very well kept.

'It's always when I see this beautiful sight that I get homesick for France,' Jean mused. 'Why would that be, when this is about as beautiful as England gets? The grass there will turn brown in summer, and most hills are covered in row upon row of vines, not wild forest where one can hunt and ride. My uncle's chateau lies on top of one of those hills. It's smaller than Pemberley, and much, much older, some parts of the wall are crumbling with age. He doesn't have this huge park around it but just a large garden, with climbing roses and some beautiful blooming vines I've never seen in England. He has peach trees and plum trees and walnut trees, and a few vines that are allowed to ramble over the terrace, bearing grapes that you can eat instead of make into wine. It's almost always warm and sunny, and in summer cicadas make a lot of noise at night. We had to use the road to ride the horses, we were not allowed to ride through the vineyards. When I was a boy, I would have given my left arm to have a hill like this to gallop down.'

'But isn't that really dangerous?' Ben asked seriously.

'As we rode it would have been, we preferred to ride without saddle. But at that age I wouldn't have hesitated for a moment, I didn't think about falling or breaking something or anything bad, I just wanted to go faster and faster.'

'It's beautiful here, and I wish I could see where you grew up in France, Jean, for it sounds very exotic and beautiful. Where I grew up, in Ireland, it was beautiful as well, though life was harsh for most people. It rained a lot, though I suppose that is the price one pays for having a green country.

How do they keep the grass so short? You're not pasturing the horses here, are you?'

'We don't, no, the fences would ruin the view. And horses spoil the grass, they are picky eaters and won't graze evenly. Mr Darcy allows herders to graze their sheep here, sheep crop the grass short and eat everything, which keeps the weeds down. The meadows for the horses are on the other side of that hill.'

Jean pointed to the right, they were about to cross the river via a sturdy stone bridge, and then they would soon enter the forest on the opposite side. So much space for one family, it was hard to imagine a village here but she didn't have to, she would see it soon enough.

It seemed the forest stretched out for miles until they reached the first village, but when Caitlin commented on the distance Jean laughed and explained, 'I can reach this village in ten minutes on foot, if I follow the right path. The road takes a detour, I suppose they built it to accommodate Mr Darcy's ancestors, who didn't want a road all over their park. One of them probably had it made in the first place.'

The village, Clifton, looked quaint and old, and yet very well-kept. The houses were in good repair, the yards neat, manure heaps were hidden behind the houses, and there was no sign of rubbish lying about anywhere. The church was much larger than one would have expected, and on Caitlin's inquiry Jean said, 'Mr Darcy's grandfather had that built, they have no private chapel at Pemberley but go to church in the village with the common people. They do have a very luxurious pew, but Mr Darcy didn't build that either, it was that same grandfather who did that. The vicar is Mr Eliot, a very kind man, he holds the service in your village as well. You will be expected to go to church, Caitlin, does that trouble you?'

'I know, Jean, it's no problem. I'd prefer a Catholic church but I can adapt. Frankly, if the people are nice, I'd love to go to church, it always made me feel so included to go to a good service.'

'Mr Eliot is very good, the real essence of a clergyman. I was raised a Catholic as well, and I've never felt judged or excluded by him. Nor anyone else,' he added hastily, 'but of course I am part of the Pemberley staff, they are known to be very close-knit.'

Caitlin remembered the good times she'd had as part of a large household, but even the housekeeper and the butler hadn't done anything to save her from their master's son.

'The church at Witham is much smaller, and I believe most of its people are elderly. They will welcome you, Caitlin, I'm certain. I just hope there will be some children for Ben to make friends with.'

As they passed through Clifton and climbed another forested hill, Caitlin feared the distance would be too much for Jean to come visit her regularly. He was the stable master, he couldn't just disappear for a whole day or night.

Then finally, they were there, a little sign said 'Witham'. It seemed even older and quainter than Clifton, every cottage seemed to have a tall cherry or apple in full bloom in the front yard, and all had thatched roofs and small, shuttered windows with fluttery white muslin drapes. Most families living here had some livestock, she saw sheep and a few cows and even a pony and some goats. She wouldn't be the only one with goats! Laundry was bobbing on a few lines, good, someone dared do laundry on another day than Monday. The road was flanked with large chestnut trees, and behind each cottage were fields which were mostly freshly ploughed, a green sheen on some indicating the seeds were starting to sprout. Each field was surrounded by a hedge made of mixed shrubs and trees, which gave Caitlin hope her cottage might be as private. Maybe they would even have some fruit and nuts in their yard.

Excitement was starting to overcome her misgivings as they passed a small and very pretty church, then turned from the main road onto a path. Soon, the main part of the village was behind them, and they passed another cottage with fields, then a stand of wood with a pond in the middle. The clump of trees looked messy and overgrown with brambles.

'I think that belongs to your neighbour, I asked one of the maids who grew up here for directions and she gave it as a landmark. So that's it, Caitlin, Ben, that must be your new house.'

Well, Mr Brewer hadn't exaggerated when he said the cottage wasn't large, but he'd also said it was in good condition and that seemed to be as true. The yard was a normal size for this village, and it had the obligatory large tree in it, a plum tree Hugo guessed, and perfectly trimmed. As was the wisteria trailing the cobblestone wall just under the thatched roof, still in bloom. The thatch was not new but it was clean and the layer was thick. He guessed the entire house was the size of one paddock at Pemberley, but it didn't matter, compared to Caitlin's hut it would be the height of comfort.

There was path leading to the back of the cottage, and using all of his skill, Hugo guided the large horses and the large cart to the end of it. It would be quite a task to turn it but he would find a way, possibly let the horses walk backwards. But first, they had to find a safe place for the animals, Caitlin's as well as the horses. Hugo did not plan to return to Pemberley until Caitlin was settled to his satisfaction.

'Shall we explore the yard first, to find a place for the chicken coop and the goats? And I suppose you'll want to unharness the horses? Or do you need to go back as soon as we have unloaded the cart?'

See, she needed him a little longer than that, she sounded a bit worried.

'Yes, to finding a place for all the animals and no, I don't need to leave quickly. I have permission to stay away all day, one of my staff is practising how to be a stable master. If I am to lose a good man like him to his father-in-law's stables, at least I'm going to enjoy a day off work in excellent company.'

And with that, he lifted the goats off the wagon one by one, they could put them in the front yard on a long lead to graze, they would behave as long as they had good grass to eat.

'Can goats founder?' he asked, 'if a horse had lived on hay and browsing in the forest for a long time I would not let it graze too long.'

'I don't think they can, but they cannot eat more than a circle around their stake anyway, can they?'

That was true, and they quickly set up the goats in the front yard, and the chicken coop in the back in a sheltered spot. Then Hugo handed Caitlin the keys to the house and said, 'You two take a look inside your new house, I will check out the shed and take care of the horses. Or if the fields are fenced adequately I may turn them out for an hour or so. Go, I'll see the house soon enough, you must be dying to find out where you will live.'

It took him half an hour, after which the horses were in the closest meadow, which had a good enclosure for horses or cattle though not high enough for goats, and he knew the shed was very adequate and large enough to be called a barn, with space for up to three large animals, be they cows or horses, or quite a few more goats than the three Caitlin had. The barn was wind and water tight, and it had plenty of storage space for fodder. It even looked as quaint as the house.

There was a kitchen garden, with a few overgrown kale plants left over from the late inhabitant's last winter, strawberry plants starting to come back to life with even a few flowers, berry bushes, kitchen herbs and surprisingly few weeds. Close to the barn was a place obviously meant to make a manure heap, and he found a well. Hopefully the water was clean, but Mr Brewer's help had likely checked that. It was time to go inside, and see how Caitlin liked her new house.

The front door opened to a tiny hall meant to keep the cold out in winter, there was a pretty wooden coat rack but not a really useful one, farmers tended to use the back entrance anyway where there was plenty of space to keep their clogs or boots and really thick coats. The space opened straight into the living room, small and cosy, though rather old fashioned. Still, Caitlin would be glad to have the furniture, she had so little and could ill afford to buy anything. Hugo hoped there would be a lot more useful stuff, the children would have taken anything of value and with memories attached, but most of the practical stuff they would own themselves already, and their parents' utensils would be too old to sell.

'It's just perfect, Jean!' Caitlin said when she came in to greet him. 'I won't need to buy anything, I even like this old style furniture, it reminds me of home. I do think the curtains have been washed and starched, look how little dust is gathered on the rods.'

It was true, everything looked as if Mrs Jackson would welcome them any moment, when in reality she had died years ago: Mr Jackson's children had kept everything spotless, even when they knew a total stranger would get the house.

'There are pots and pans and even cutlery in the kitchen, and a much better furnace than mine.'

Indeed, the kitchen was also ready to use just as it was. The view of the back yard was very pretty, and Hugo took a good look at the horses, who seemed to be happy enough cropping the grass.

'Come look at the bedrooms, there are three, one tiny one and two reasonably sized ones. And they all have beds and mattresses, though no bedding. Ben picked one and I'll take the other one.'

Caitlin first showed him her bedroom, which was actually tiny compared to Hugo's room at Pemberley, which was small compared to his rooms at his uncle's chateau. There were a barely double-sized bed, a wardrobe and a tiny bedside table, and that was it. But the bed was much better than Caitlin's own, and she hadn't had space for a real wardrobe, this was an incredible luxury.

'It's soft, and clean. I think I'm just going to use it, though in a way it's a bit of a waste since I don't have sheets to make it up properly.'

'Maybe they left some bedding in the wardrobe, where it is supposed to be?'

'No, I checked. They probably threw it out because it was old. Nothing in here is truly old, not in the sense that it's no longer useful. Someone carefully went through the house and put everything in order with the stuff they didn't need themselves. Ben is on the opposite side, he has a smaller bed but that leaves more space since the room is much the same size.'

Ben probably chose that room to give his mother the larger bed, he was so considerate of his mum, and no-one had told him it was very indecent for an unmarried woman to have a man visit, let alone stay the night.

'Will you let me buy you some linen, Caitlin? As a welcoming present? I have a good salary, and I have no wife and children to provide for, nor rent and food to buy, I have considerable savings after ten years of living in Mr Darcy's household.'

'You may need it once you get married, Jean, but I can see you really want to do this for me. As you have done so much else in the past. I'll gladly accept a gift from you, it would make the house even more perfect, and I hope you will have a little more time to enjoy this beautiful house together with us before you leave us. Thank you so much, Jean, for taking care of us like this.'

It truly was his pleasure. He so wished he could tell her he loved her, and beg her to reconsider his offer, but it would give the wrong impression, as if he was trying to buy her love. Instead, he would prove his commitment to her by stopping his visits to Rose, and spending as much time with Caitlin as she allowed, and in time maybe she would find it in her heart to forgive him for his clumsy first attempt and allow him the chance to propose for real. With love in his heart as well as the appreciation for her skills and her strong character he'd always had.

She kissed him then, and he enjoyed that kiss as he had never relished a mere kiss before. He could have sworn there was some feeling behind it from her side as well, but he did not even consider asking her immediately. Mr Darcy was right, if Hugo was patient he would eventually find out, and maybe he could do what he had advised Darren Staples to do with regards to Rose: be there for her, and give her a chance to get used to his presence as a suitor. Which meant not hiding his feelings for Caitlin, as his sense of pride might demand of him. If she rejected him after all, he would need to know he had done everything in his power to win her affection, and hiding his feelings to save his pride was the worst thing he could do right now.

So he held her as tightly as his feelings demanded of him and allowed his face to reflect his love. If she saw it she might blame him for not respecting her wishes, but that was a risk he had to take. At least she didn't object to being held, but that might be her fear of facing a new situation in a new village with new people who might treat her as bad or worse than she had been treated in the past.

It was hard to let go of Jean, but he had to return the horses to Pemberley, Caitlin realised how lucky she was to have his help and his protection. And affection? For a few moments she'd thought it was hers, when they kissed. He'd gripped her so tightly, and had kissed her with such tenderness that she'd stolen a look at his face and it did seem to look like that of a man deeply in love. But men like Jean didn't fall in love, did they? He seemed as reluctant to part with her, but showed similar kindness towards Ben, and promised to return the next day to help them settle further.

He had told her he was looking to finally settle, and he obviously didn't mind a child not his own. That didn't mean he loved her, but there had been that kiss, and the way he had leaned his head on hers when she had been momentarily overcome by fear of the unknown, in her old hut.

By now, Jean had harnessed the large horses, and he was about to guide them towards the path going backwards. There was no room to turn a team and a cart, but he didn't seem fazed at all. Most likely he considered it a challenge, and with Ben acting as his eyes where the cart blocked his view of the road behind him, Jean set the horses in motion.

'There is still plenty of room to turn, just like so, yes, how do you do that? It's like magic!' Ben exclaimed.

Caitlin suspected Jean could do it without the help, and she loved him even more for involving Ben and making him feel needed and useful.

His expression as he caught her eye seemed to confirm this, he gave her a big, saucy wink, and Caitlin felt her heart flutter. He did look very intense working with horses, always alert and very much in charge. As he had been facing the tall farmer's son. Caitlin decided she liked him this way, it made her feel safe.

'Watch out, Jean! There's people coming from up the road, an older couple!'

Ben's voice sounded a little fearful, had she infected him with her own misgivings? Or had he already met with unjust treatment that he hadn't told her about? He wasn't afraid Jean would lose control of the horses, Ben had a boundless trust in the only man in his life.

'Oh, they've stopped, and I think they're gesturing for you to continue.'

Of course Jean had already seen them, like a horse he saw everything, in front and even right behind him. He freed one hand and waved at the couple, Caitlin could now see them from her own lower vantage point, and one of them, obviously the man, signalled clearly to continue backwards. Men of all ages liked to be of assistance, and this one, most likely Caitlin's neighbour, seemed indeed rather old.

Jean continued backing up the horses and cart, staying on the path perfectly, and stopping once the horses were facing towards the main road. He thanked Ben out loud, then aimed a significant look at Caitlin that said, 'Do you want me to greet these people for you?'

Caitlin was tempted, but she needed to face her new life frankly and without fear, or she'd never be free again. So she smiled and shook her head at him.

'Thank you, Jean. And thank you so much for your help! Ben and I will manage.' Then a little softer, 'They seem kind, and they cannot physically harm us.'

At that moment, Caitlin was convinced Jean did love her. Her remark, meant to be funny but of course Jean knew her past, hurt him, and his expression flashed from sadness to love and to something fearsome she thought any man would face who would try to hurt her now. Then it settled back to affection, and trust in her, but she felt heartened by the knowledge that she had someone in her life who would protect her savagely. For now.

'I suppose I'd better leave you to meeting your new neighbours then, Miss, and return Mr Darcy's horses.'

He would pretend to be strangers to not soil her reputation, that was so sweet of him.

'It's Brennan, Jean. My last name. Brennan. I haven't been called by that name for ever so long, and never Miss Brennan.'

He seemed about to speak but controlled himself, then said, 'Caitlin Brennan', as if he was getting the feel of her name on his tongue.

'Well, Miss Brennan, Ben, I wish you a good night, and I will see you tomorrow. Mind you keep an eye on those goats, young man, Mr Darcy was very clear he didn't want them on the loose in the village or his woods.'

A fat wink belied his severe tone, and Ben stood smiling, proud to be part of some grand joke. Caitlin received one last smouldering look and returned it shamelessly, though the elderly couple could see her face whilst his was averted from their view. He aimed a greeting at them and said, 'Thank you for the help, please excuse me for having to make a little haste, I'm running late!'

And he was off.

Now the couple came closer, and Caitlin guessed they were in their late sixties, old enough to make working a farm by himself quite a task for the man.

'That was some amazing driving, and he really didn't need our help, did he? Was that one of Mr Darcy's men helping you move? I'd heard the master was sending a healer to live in the Jackson cottage because we lost so many last winter.'

The man was obviously impressed, and since Jean had taken some trouble to make him feel that way Caitlin guessed she'd better play along.

'I suppose he didn't need any help, but I'm sure he was glad to have yours and Ben's. That was Mr Hugo, Mr Darcy's stable master, helping me move from Ripley.'

'Now John, you might greet our new neighbour politely before interrogating her, or she'll think we're not happy to finally have someone living in poor Jim's cottage again. He loved it so much, and his children kept it so beautifully for him when poor Trude died. She was a real beauty in her youth, she said she was from Denmark, though I have no idea where that is. But they must be a really tidy people for Trude kept her house so clean I always felt mine was a bit grubby in comparison. I'm Mrs Wright, and this is my husband John Wright. We live over there. When you're settled you must come to visit, I've missed having a woman next door.'

Caitlin took the offered hand, noting a package in Mrs Wright's other hand, which the good woman promptly handed over.

'It's a bite for you to eat tonight, my dear, moving house is hard work, can't be expected to cook as well. I didn't know how many of you there were, so there is plenty to go around for you and your boy.'

'Thank you so much, Mrs Wright, that is so kind! My name is Caitlin Brennan and this is my son Ben. I am indeed a healer, I cannot work miracles but I can often help people get better and I'm really good with births.'

Now Mr Wright shook her hand, he wasn't a bad man, just very curious and not very subtle since he continued asking questions that might have been considered impolite. Caitlin didn't mind that much, it was easier to have someone else spread everything there was to know about her and spare herself the effort of telling everyone in turn.

'You will be very welcome here, Miss, or are you a widow? You're from Ireland, aren't you, you have the looks as well as the accent? And that man just now, you say he's Mr Darcy's stable master? I've heard he is a right terror but he seemed very polite just now. I suppose that's because he is French, they're supposed to be really good with the ladies.'

Caitlin could barely keep from laughing out loud, and she was tempted to observe Jean was very good with the ladies indeed, but it was really rather important to make a good first impression. Besides, Ben was standing right next to her.

'Mr Hugo is the kindest man in the world! If someone at Pemberley says he is a terror it's likely because they are a slacker and he is their superior.'

Apparently, Ben couldn't stand by and let his friend be called names. But though he rightfully referred to Jean by his last name, he did inadvertently betray knowing the Pemberley stable master well, which would certainly cause some juicy gossip in the village. Still, Caitlin hoped Jean would become a regular visitor to her new cottage, and then the gossip would start anyway.

'So you know him as well, young master? Deirdre Cooper, who works at the mansion as a maid, did say he has always been fair to her. But he had some lad from the master's London house empty chamber pots and clean hearths. She did say word was the lad was sent to the mansion for punishment, and he is one of the stable boys now so it probably did him no harm. Imagine that you should know the Pemberley stable master in person. Will you take service at the mansion stables?'

Ben seemed very willing to talk to strangers, and Caitlin hoped he wouldn't betray her affair with Jean.

'I don't think so, Mr Wright, I prefer books to horses, but I suppose I'll have to learn farming to help mum make a living. Unless people here are very sickly…'

He made a joke. Ben made a joke to someone he'd first met. And Mr Wright laughed heartily.

'Well, now, young man, I can teach you all you need to know about farming, and if your mum is such a good healer that Mrs Darcy hears of it and rewards her well for her services, you can always hire a man to do the farm work for you. But don't you want to learn your mother's skills?'

'I know most of the herbs that grow in the forest and what they are good for and how to prepare them, but I don't think the ladies around here would accept a male midwife.'

'That is very true, I'm afraid,' Mrs Wright said, 'and I'm sorry John is so nosy, Mrs Brennan. Don't let that put you off visiting now!'

'It won't, I promise. I want to get to know everyone in the village and what they expect from a healer. And yes, I am Irish, and I've never been married, so it is in fact Miss Brennan. Thank you so much for being so nice, some people aren't when they hear my accent, you know.'

'Well, Trude was very much respected here, and she was much more a foreigner than you are coming from so far, and besides, so many were sick last winter, people will be glad to have a healer. They would welcome a two-hundred-pound ax-wielding Viking warrior maiden with open arms if she had healing skills, and since you are a very pretty young woman I'm certain you will do very well here. And young Ben, I hope you'll have some time to do boys' things, for you don't seem all that old to me and there are plenty of other children here to play with. If you like books I hope you'll come to Sunday school, Mr Eliot is the kindest, smartest minister we all know.'

'We're certainly planning to attend church, Mrs Wright, we did in Ripley though some people didn't approve since I am Irish and thus raised a Catholic.'

'Well, if we have some of those here, Mr Eliot will set them to rights, but frankly I expect little trouble for you, Miss Brennan. If Mr Darcy has ordered his stable master to help you move you must be in his good graces, and that alone will gain you plenty of respect. John and I have lived here all our lives, and we are very happy to finally have new neighbours and some young blood. Most young people want a larger house or more acreage, or even move south or to town.'

'That is so true, Miss Brennan, our own sons moved to town and now we rarely see them. Mary was very disappointed to miss out on the grandchildren.'

She did look a little tired, their neighbour, and Caitlin decided to visit really soon and ask some pertinent questions about her health, maybe a tea made from certain herbs could brighten her a little bit, or maybe she had a more serious problem that needed treatment. At least Caitlin's fears to live in a village with its inhabitants set against her were relieved a tiny bit, and they had a meal for tonight, something Caitlin had worried about a little. She was a master in gathering food from the country around her, and she had Mr Darcy's permission to gather herbs in his woods, but she didn't even know where his private woods were, and which patches of trees belonged to the neighbours. Having a friendly neighbour would be such a boon!

'Well, we'll leave you to rest and eat the dinner we brought you. Miss Brennan, if you want to, I can give you a tour of the village tomorrow afternoon and introduce you to everyone and show you the sights, so to speak? Since you have had some bad experiences in your last village?'

That was such a nice offer from Mrs Wright, and an excellent opportunity to hear about her ailments and everyone else's. Caitlin was really set on starting to help these people as soon as possible, to be able to build up a store of pertinent herbs. And having an advocate in the village would be such a help to fit in! But what about Jean? He was planning to drop by to help, if she took him along everyone would know and the gossip would start. But she couldn't send him home either, she desperately wanted to be with him while she could.

She would have to sort that out tomorrow, this was an offer she could not refuse.

'Thank you very much, Mrs Wright, it would be such a help to have you to introduce me to my new neighbours.'

'And I will show young Ben where he can fetch wood to make a paddock for your goats, Jackson had his fences in great repair for his cows but they won't stop goats. Maybe you'd better keep them on ropes like you have now and lock them up at night. I also have some lettuce and cabbage plants to give your vegetable plot a start, and I think we have some potatoes unfit to eat but perfect for planting. It will be hard work, Ben, but worth it come harvest time.'

They parted in great cordiality, and when they were back in the house Ben sighed, 'It will be hard to call Jean Mr Hugo. But I like our new neighbours, and I'm going to need Mr Wright's help if I am to become a farmer. What will you do tomorrow, when Jean is here to help? Please don't ask him to leave, mum, what if he doesn't come back?'

'I think he would understand if I did that, but I also think it won't hurt if people think he is courting me, he has such a formidable reputation it can only make them more inclined to accept us and treat us well. Do you mind? There will be gossip.'

'I want Jean to keep coming over whatever people say. Not because it would make us more popular or safer, but because I like him. And he makes you happy.'

'You don't sound like a ten year old at all, Ben, I'm afraid living apart from the world made you grow up too fast. Do you think you could still play with other children?'

'I'm going to try, and if I can't, maybe Mr Brewer will let me be friends with his boys, Jean told me they are bookish like me. But with the goats settled with more grass than they can eat I will first let Mr Wright help me set up a kitchen garden, everyone seems to have one and I want one too. I know you can gather food along with herbs, but I want us to be like other families in the village. It will be my chore, and you can find new patients and get to know the woods around here. You know we could make the little room into a storage for herbs. With a table to mix them, and our old stove in case a draught needs reducing or boiling.'

That was such a good idea! Caitlin couldn't help cuddling her son, he was still small enough to need his mother's love despite saying such sensible things and having such prescient ideas. As if to prove this, he leaned into her embrace and looked up at her.

'I wish you had taken his offer, mum,' Ben said in a tiny voice.

Heart in her throat, tired after a long day with so many emotions assailing her, Caitlin heard the truth escape her before she could help herself.

'I know, my dear, and I'm sorry I didn't. I was proud, and I didn't realise then how much I cared for him. I'm so sorry you had to hear that, my love.'

'I know, mum, and maybe it will all work out. Jean didn't seem that eager to go back to Pemberley today, and he promised to return tomorrow.'

'But he is seeing other women, Ben, did you hear that as well? He is planning to get married, and he says he will be true to his wife, which means he will not be coming here much longer.'

Ben was not as shocked to hear that as she feared he might be. Or maybe he didn't understand what she meant.

'Or maybe he will not be a visitor for much longer. He may just stay, one day, and only go back to Pemberley to work.'

That was just a fantasy, but maybe a ten-year-old boy needed to lie a little to himself to be able to accept the truth in his own time. Hopefully they would have that time before Jean married his other lover, and stopped turning up.