As Chris lay in bed a few weeks later, she replayed the conversation with Jim from that night in the granny flat. She would swear her saying, "Move on, be happy with Molly," had made him sad. But she knew any idea of a "them" just wasn't right, then or even now.
She rolled over looking at her new apartment and smiled to herself. She smiled because she had done exactly what she had been telling herself she needed. Exactly what Deacon and Street had said she needed. This place was no palace or fancy condo, but it was hers and she was smiling.

As her alarm dinged next her, she tossed back the covers and headed to get ready. Pulling back her hair into a small ponytail her face scrunched a little as Lynch's name appeared on her phone. Why was Lt Lynch texting her this early?
"Come to my office when you get in. We need to talk."
"Shit!" Chris muttered. What the hell did she want? What had happened? Had Chris stuffed up somewhere that she didn't know about? A flush of insecurities raced through her head. She had always pushed herself to be the best, to be better than the men around her. She had to be. She couldn't afford to stuff up at all. She knew if she did that the criticisms on her would be ten times as harsh as for the males on her team.
She swallowed hard climbing into her truck. But focused herself on remaining calm and just getting there safely this time.

Her walk into HQ and through the building to Lynch's office was one that seemed to go on forever. With every step, her brain was fighting with itself not to feel the dread and self-doubt that swirled inside. She reached the door and knocked.
"Come in." Lynch's voice came back. Her hand was trembling slightly as she reached for the doorknob.

"Lieutenant." She said respectfully as she moved to the chairs in front of her desk.
"Ah, Alonso." Lynch put down her pen and stood up motioning for Chris to sit down. "Glad you got my message."
"Is, ah, everything okay?" Chris asked fidgeting with her fingers. Lynch smiled with a head tilt but didn't exactly say yes or no.
"Well, that depends on what you make of this all I guess." Lynch said as she stood up and moved to lean on the side of her desk closer to Chris.
"There is an opportunity for me to send an officer to some pretty high-level training but, as always it comes with a catch."
Chris's eyes were locked on her as she spoke. Her brain racing a million miles an hour. What was Lynch talking about? Who did she mean she was nominating, Street? Because he was in the lead with the TLI scores? Was this her letting her down? What exactly was this training anyway?
"Okay?" Chris let out with a querying look.
"I would like to nominate you, to represent LAPD SWAT. This training will be held at the Quantico FBI training facility in Virginia." She paused as Chris's eyes went wide. "It is only open to one officer from each invited department." Lynch continued.
"Oh wow!" Chris's head was spinning. She didn't really know what to say. She had not been expecting that. "What exactly does this training include?"
"Well it's a bit of a mix in all things law enforcement but you would be attending to host a series of sessions for other officers on SWAT tactics, team communication and leadership, as well as one area of your choice that you are passionate about."
Chris sat shocked. Her head hadn't quiet caught up to where Lynch was at.
"This would be a huge boost to your TLI application and is kind of like a mini TLI right here in the US."
"Why me?" Chris asked, with furrowed brows.
Lynch chuckled a bit, "Well, I think after reviewing the criteria, that you match the closest out of all of our officers."
"Wow, I am flattered, but I am sure there are others?"
"You don't want to go?" Lynch asked eyeing her.
"No, no, of course I do, I just am surprised you would pick me, I guess."

Soon after, Chris had left Lynch's office, with instructions to think about it and let her know by next shift. She walked in a daze down to the garage to grab her bag and get ready for a workout. As she had almost reached her truck, she heard two voices which snapped her out of it.
"Okay, see you at 7pm, and remind dad please."
Chris looked up to see Molly dropping Street off. Street was leaning in the window to kiss her.
Chris instantly dropped her eyes and took a step to dart around the back of her truck.
She cursed herself for that feeling. Seeing him kiss her made her heart hurt. Even if it was just a peck on Molly's cheek. A sharp pain jolted through her chest, and she felt a bit teary. Why did him moving on hurt so fucking much? She gave herself a pep talk in her head. 'Grab your bag and walk back in there like you saw nothing at all.'

As she stood back up out of the door his voice scared her.
"Hey, you're in early."
"Oh hey," she said spinning around and not meeting his eyes. "I just had some things to do." She added as she motioned for him to walk.
"You okay?" He asked. She could feel his eyes on her.
"Mmhmm," she nodded without breaking her stride.
"Chris!" He tapped her arm for her to stop. "You will tell me if you aren't, won't you?"
She smiled a sad smile. "I promised Deacon I would talk, and I will. But I'm good, really. Now come on."

As they walked inside, she smiled to herself. She did promise Deacon she would talk, but not necessarily to Street. He was still making small talk with her as they walked into the locker room, and to be honest she hadn't really registered what he was talking about. As much as she tried, squishing all of this into a box in her head was a lot harder than she ever anticipated.

"Hey," she felt him tap her arm.
"Mmmm?" She answered turning,
"I meant it I am serious?" Chris looked at him with a querying look. He figured she hadn't been listening properly. "I said, if you want me to reconsider the TLI thing I will. I don't wanna hurt the dynamics here." Chris rolled her eyes that he was still so clueless about it all.
"Street! If you pull out, I won't EVER talk to you again."
His eyes widened, and he chuckled, "Wow, okay then Ms Hostile."

"Alonso," Hondo nodded as she moved past to her locker.
"Hey Hondo." She smiled with almost a whisper.
"You good?" He asked.
"Yep, getting' my head in the game."

Hondo nodded knowing something was a bit off but could not put his finger on it. He headed out soon after with Street as Chris organised her things and chatted to Deacon.
"So, how are you?" Deacon asked once they were alone.
"Confused."
"About?" He asked watching her.
"I have some choices to make, that I know might ruffle feathers in the team and I dunno..." she dropped her head and turned away putting her bag in her locker.
"What do you mean 'choices?'"
"Well," she started sitting down. "Lt Lynch has offered me an opportunity, a very challenging but worthwhile opportunity and I dunno. It will upset Tan and Street and our TLI stuff and I, well like you said stuff in the team is already strained and I don't wanna make it even worse."
Deacon nodded. "Okay I thought you were gunna say that Street had done something after I encouraged you to talk to him."
Chris smiled a sad smile, "No Deac, that's old news. I've said my part and made it clear that we had a moment, yes, but just a moment."
"Okay," he nodded with a head tilt. But part of him saw what they shared and knew the story wasn't over just yet. "So, this challenging opportunity involves?" He asked,
"Have you heard about the Quantico Training in July?"
"Hold up," He stared at her. "Lt. Lynch offered you that? Chris!" He stood up and stepped to her, holding her shoulders. "You cannot say no to that. You have to go! The guys will understand. Come on, they are not that petty."

"I dunno... Like I said I am just confused."