Chapter 91
Tess had completely forgotten that Stevie was also on a date just across the pub from her. She was just focused completely on Finn.
"I told Claire about us. I didn't like trying to sneak away to see you like there was something about seeing you that had to be hidden," said Tess.
"Was she okay with it?"
"Well, the reason why she was so out of hand that first dinner was because she wanted to try to set us up. She said that she thought you liked me and wanted me to give you a chance. She realizes now that, while her intentions were very sweet, her way of going about it was not at all right. She was happy to hear that she didn't ruin your chances with me from her shenanigans. She was happy about it and even wanted to help me get ready today," said Tess.
"You must be really close with Claire. That's wonderful." Finn wished he had gotten the opportunity to bond with a son or daughter like Tess had with Claire.
"I got lucky. She's a great kid. She's at a tough age though. She's very interested in boys and trying to figure out how to deal with that. I fear we will have a few heartaches to contend with in the next few years," said Tess.
"Well, she looks like her mom, which means she is going to be a total knockout. I fear for the young men of Gungellan. She may break a few hearts herself," said Finn.
"Well, either way, heartache is part of growing up. I wish I could take that pain for her, but it's something she is going to have to experience for herself. I hate knowing that," said Tess.
"I'm sure you've raised her to be strong and know her self worth. You'll get her through. I know you will," said Finn, as he didn't have any doubt in Tess's ability to get her daughter through anything.
"Having Jodi and Matt to model a successful romantic relationship has actually been really good for her too. It's just not something I was able to give her," admitted Tess, feeling ashamed.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Tess. I haven't spent a great deal of time with your family, but it's extremely obvious how well you function as a unit and how much you all love each other. There isn't just one formula for a successful family. You've figured out one way to get there."
"Thanks. It's funny because I'm like eight years older than Jodi, but she has become the maternal figure of the family. She is the person the rest of us go to for advice. I watched her grow from this really boycrazy teenager to possibly the wisest person I know," said Tess.
"I'm sure you've given her some good advice along the way too," said Finn.
"Our sisterhood is not traditional. We didn't even meet until I was nearly twenty-six and she was almost eighteen. We didn't find out we were sisters until I was thirty. Before that, I was her boss and she was my farm hand, and we were friends, but we missed out on so many sister experiences. Our sister Claire passed away before we even knew Jodi was our sister. I still feel awful about that, too. I guess we have tried to make up for all of that as adults," explained Tess.
"I would have never guessed if you hadn't told me. You are so in sync with each other and united. I saw it for the brief time we had lunch together. I see it in the way you handled the contract. You communicate well and value each other's contributions. I bet your relationship is stronger than most siblings around. It's stronger than the relationship I have with my sister, and we grew up together, and are only three years apart in age. I have a very good relationship with Carolyn. I love my sister, and I talk with her regularly, but we're not as close as you and Jodi are," said Finn.
"It wasn't always like that. I am embarrassed of how I first reacted when I found out Jodi was my sister. It was a very weird time. I had temporarily moved to Argentina because my husband had taken a job there for a few months. He had completed the contract and we were heading back to Australia. I left a few days earlier than he did because he had to finish up some final work. The plane Nick was supposed to be on crashed with no survivors." Tess paused, realizing she was about to share a lot more than she had originally planned to, before going on. "We all thought Nick was on the plane and had died. Jodi got her genetic testing back in the middle of that. She was trying to find the right time to tell me we were sisters, but a friend of ours accidentally spilled the beans to me instead. I didn't take it as well as I should have. I had lost Claire only a few years before that, and finding out a friend of mine was actually my little sister should have been the most wonderful news, but I found out the same day we learned about the plane crash. I was pregnant with Claire at the time, and so full of grief for Nick, that I didn't treat Jodi as I should have. I should have been overjoyed, but I wasn't. I was confused and sad about Nick's death. There was too much shocking news all at once. Jodi did her best to be there for me as I mourned my husband, but while we were friends, and had always cared about each other, we didn't have that same bond. She had been my employee and friend. Not my sister. We didn't find out Nick was alive for two months. Jodi and I had started figuring out how to be sisters by the time we found out he was alive." Tess took a deep breath realizing how much about herself and her history she had just told Finn.
"Wow. That's so much to deal with all at once. I think anyone would have been pretty overwhelmed. It's a crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions. Can I ask how you finally found out your husband was alive? You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Finn worried he might be pushing too much.
"It's okay, I feel really comfortable talking with you. Nick was mugged at the airport. He was jumped from behind and was beaten, nearly to death. The person took his wallet and I.D. and his plane ticket. Apparently they looked similar enough for him to board the plane as Nicholas Ryan. They found Nick's I.D. at the crash site with whoever had attacked him. Nick was in a coma for two months with no I.D. on him, so the hospital in Argentina didn't know who he was. He finally woke up and told the doctors who he was and they let him call me. That was the most miraculous phone call I had ever received," explained Tess.
"It's like he was back from the dead," Finn said.
"Yeah, but the whole ordeal took a very heavy toll on us. He finally made it back from Argentina, but he felt very out of place everywhere. We had all grieved him and started coming to terms with his loss and then all of sudden, he was back. It was like a miracle had occurred. There was media coverage in both South America and Australia, and Nick is a pretty quiet, private guy. He was unhappy with the coverage and the attention. I was just so happy to have him back but, in hindsight, I realize it was probably the beginning of the end for us. He had really enjoyed the work he was doing in Argentina and felt uncomfortable and frustrated back in Gungellan. We finally made the decision that we should go back to Argentina, where things had been better for us before the accident, until he was more himself. Claire was born in Argentina. Shortly after we moved, Nick's father died. We couldn't get back for the funeral because I was due to give birth any day. Nick's relationship with his father wasn't the best, and he had been really hurt by his father for years, so it was a weird feeling. Not just grief, but grief mixed with anger and relief."
Finn reached across the table and held her hand.
"Nick started turning away from the life we had shared in Gungellan. His brother Alex married Stevie and he wouldn't go back for the wedding. That's when I really realized just how upset Nick was. Stevie and Alex came out to see us for their honeymoon, and meet baby Claire, and things were a little better. Stevie went back home, but Alex stayed and helped Nick get past the hurt of their father and help with a big cattle breeding program." Tess stopped and looked at Finn. She was talking about one of the most difficult things she had ever experienced and yet she felt completely comfortable telling Finn.
"Alex found out Stevie was pregnant while he was in Argentina. He was scheduled to fly home in time to be there for the birth of his child. Alex was killed in a tragic accident on his way home from the airport not far from Drovers Run. Stevie was with him when he passed. She gave birth to Xander the next day. Alex's death destroyed Nick. Anything that reminded him of Gungellan, of Killarney, of his brother, of Australia even, hurt him incredibly and he wanted no part of it. He wouldn't go to Alex's funeral or to meet Xander." Tess was feeling a little vulnerable as she told Finn about such a difficult time. "I wanted to raise Claire at Drovers, like we had always planned, but he decided he did not want to ever return to Australia. I think even I reminded him too much of home, and of Alex, and the messed up relationship he had with his father. It started to weigh heavily on us. He threw himself completely into his work and left me alone with a baby in a foreign country for weeks at a time. I tried to help him grieve, and to make sense of Alex's accident and to try to work through it, but he wouldn't. It was like he took everything related to that part of his life, put it in a box, locked it and threw it out a window. I was part of that life and I felt like he had tossed me out too. I was terribly homesick, but still in love with him. I couldn't understand why he was closing himself off from me. That went on for a couple years of me trying to get through to him. To get back what we had. Finally, I surprised him at the estancia and found him sleeping with someone else, so I told him I was going home to Drovers and that he needed to come with me if he wanted to have a chance of fixing things. He wouldn't come with me, so I went without him. I hoped he would follow me home, but he hasn't been back to Australia since and he has never met his nephew Xander," Tess blinked back tears after sharing such a difficult time in her life.
Finn got up from the table and walked to the side Tess was sitting on. He reached down and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her to stand up with him, and just held her tightly.
He finally whispered. "Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with me." He just stood there and held her. He felt so special that she had chosen him to tell about that painful part of her life.
Tess wasn't sure why she decided right then and there to share so much. She certainly hadn't planned on it. She just felt comfortable with Finn. He was so calm and seemed to instinctively know what she needed at any given time. She decided to just enjoy being in his arms for a minute.
Stevie decided to order dessert. She enjoyed talking with James and she wasn't quite ready for the night to end.
"Do you want to share dessert with me? Stevie asked.
"I could be persuaded. What did you have in mind?" James smirked.
"Well, you can't go wrong with a lamington, but I was also eyeing the caramel slices. You choose."
"I admit it. I'm a chocolate guy. Can we go with the lamington? Oh, and maybe get a scoop of ice cream with it too." James winked at her and smiled. "I've got a sweet tooth."
"Sounds great." Stevie smiled back.
Stevie decided to go to the ladies room and check her makeup. On her way, she walked by the table where Finn and Tess were standing wrapped in each other's arms. They looked like they were having a moment. Stevie smiled. Tess deserved to make a romantic connection. She walked past them, letting them have their moment and continued to the ladies room.
Tess snapped back to reality as Stevie walked by. She realized she had been standing there in Finn's arms for more than a couple minutes. She was a little embarrassed at such a public display, but had to admit she liked being there, in his arms. She took a step away from Finn.
"I'm just going to go to the ladies room. I'll be right back," said Tess.
Tess followed Stevie in and found her looking in the mirror, reapplying some lipstick.
"Hey! Looks like your date with Finn is going well."
"Ugh! I'm embarrassed. I'm acting like a lovesick teenager. We kind of had a moment and I forgot where I was. How long was I standing like that?" asked Tess.
"I reckon it was about five or six solid minutes. I think it's nice that you had a moment and got lost in his arms. It was cute," answered Stevie.
"Thanks. I told him about how Nick and I broke up. I guess I sort of filled in the blanks since he knew some of it. He just grabbed me and held me once I finished the whole story. He whispered into my ear "Thanks for sharing this part of yourself with me". It was really sweet and comforting, but I wish it hadn't happened. I'm embarrassed now. This is a small town and people will talk. How are things going with James?"
"Good, actually. He hasn't wrapped me in his arms and whispered in my ear or anything but, yeah, I like him. I'm having fun getting to know him better. We just ordered dessert," said Stevie.
"Well, you don't order dessert on a date, unless you want it to continue, so that's a great sign," said Tess.
"Yeah. It's nice to be out, enjoying each other's company. Getting to know each other."
"Well, enjoy your dessert. I'm out!" Tess went back to the table and smiled at Finn. They had finished their meal.
"Stevie ordered dessert, so we have a little time. Do you want to take a walk around the block with me?" asked Tess.
"Whatever you want."
As they paid the check and walked outside, Tess sent Stevie a quick text.
"Enjoy dessert ; ) Taking a walk with Finn. Text when you want to go."
Tess and Finn walked outside. They held hands as they walked out to the sidewalk.
"There's a little park just down the street. Why don't we go there?" asked Tess.
"Lead the way."
Tess led him to a small playground. It was deserted this time of night. She sat down on a bench. Finn sat next to her and put his arm around her.
"I have to admit, Finn. I'm embarrassed about what happened in there," said Tess.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm honored you shared some of your story with me. I want to know all about what makes you, you," said Finn. "I'll share more of myself and my story if you want."
"That's not what I'm embarrassed about. I feel very comfortable talking to you, Finn. I'm embarrassed because I stood wrapped in your arms in the middle of the pub for like five or six straight minutes. I know most of the people there. This is a small town. I'm not really into public displays of affection. I don't like people knowing all of my business. In small towns, everyone knows everyone and people talk a lot. I guarantee tomorrow everyone will be talking about who Tess McLeod was hugging at the pub last night," she explained.
Finn immediately felt foolish. He was from a small town. He knew what she said was true. He was enjoying the anonymity of being in Gungellan, but he was so wrapped up in being amazed at how good being with Tess felt, that he was forgetting that she was a major part of this community and that everyone knew her around here.
"You're right. I'm sorry. I was just so honored that you chose to share that with me and you seemed, I don't know, vulnerable? No. That's not the right word. You're too strong to be vulnerable, but it just seemed like holding you was the right thing to do," apologized Finn.
"Finn, being in your arms feels wonderful. Like scary-wonderful and it was what I needed. I was feeling vulnerable. I didn't mean to tell you all of that. It just sort of came out and then I wasn't sure how it would be after that. You made me feel comfortable again. I'm just afraid of how I allowed myself to get completely lost in you. A week ago, I didn't know who you were and I never dated. Like NEVER! Now I'm thinking about you all the time and the feelings are just so strong. It's all happening so fast. It feels so good being with you, but what happens next? I'm not ready to turn my whole life upside down. I like my life how it it, but I feel like that's what's happening now, with you," Tess said, as she really opened up about her feelings.
"I know. It's happening to me too. I didn't come to Australia to meet someone. I came to Australia to do a job. To have a fresh start. Tess, I haven't stopped thinking about you since I met you. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Maybe never. I wasn't even sure I could feel like this. Tess, I'm falling really hard for you," confessed Finn.
"I'm falling hard for you too, Finn," admitted Tess.
Finn turned and kissed her. It was electric. It consumed them both. The connection they felt with each other at that moment was stronger than anything either of them had felt before with anyone.
Tess pulled away.
"This is what I mean. I lose my sense of reality with you. This is dangerous, Finn. It's been a week. I'm forty-four. Why am I acting like a teenager with her first boyfriend?" asked Tess.
"Tess, I don't know. I can't control it either. All I know is that I want to be with you, like, all the time and, when I'm not with you, I'm thinking about what you're doing. I'm wondering if you're smiling, if you might need help with something. If you're happy. Tess, you're the first woman I met when I came to Australia. None of this was supposed to happen, at least not this quickly," said Finn. "I've only been in Australia for 10 days."
"Yet it's all happening, Finn. It's all happening at once. So fast. So powerful. This is terrifying. I just want to turn everything I'm feeling down a bit. I feel like a pot boiling over," explained Tess.
"I know it's a lot, but it's also really amazing," said Finn, reaching for Tess's hand..
Tess's phone beeped with a text from Stevie. She pulled her hand away and grabbed the phone instead to read the text. "Dessert was great but it's late. ready to go when you are. Meet me at the ute."
"It's Stevie. She's my ride, and she's ready to go."
"Be there in a few." Tess responded to the text.
"Fuck! I need to go. Stevie's waiting," said Tess feeling completely overwhelmed by the situation.
"Wait. We need to talk this out. I'll drive you home instead. We can talk in the car," offered Finn.
"Finn, I'm scared. It wasn't supposed to happen this fast, this much, all at once. It's really overwhelming and terrifying. I haven't been on a date with a man in five years, and then I go on a couple dates with you and end up feeling like this. It's too fast. I'm going to go home with Stevie. I need to clear my head. I need some space. Please give me some space, Finn."
Tess got up and started to walk away from the park.
"Tess, wait! We can figure this out. Don't leave. Please don't leave. Tess, please stay," begged Finn. "I'll take you home instead."
"It's too much. Finn. It's just too much, too fast. I'm leaving with Stevie," said Tess as she fought back tears and walked back to the pub to meet up with Stevie.