Chapter 95

Jodi woke up earlier than normal. She had expected what was becoming routine post date wrap ups from Tess, but last night she didn't get one. She wondered if it was because Tess had ridden with Stevie so they had girl talk instead or if it was because something happened.

She decided to go wake up Tess and see what happened on the date. She loved getting all the gossip. It was Tess's day to make breakfast anyway, Jodi would just help her along with it.

Jodi knocked on the cottage door and no one answered. She went into Tess's room knocking on her way in.

"Knock Knock! Tess, it's Jodi." Jodi opened the door and looked into her room. Tess was there in a very crumpled bed. Ske looked like she had not slept well. There were tissues crumpled up and laying around. "Tess? Are you alright? I just wanted to see how the date went. I missed talking to you last night."

Tess rolled over and squinted at Jodi. "Hey, I'm up, I didn't forget about breakfast."

"I'll help you with breakfast, I just wanted the dish on your date last night," said Jodi.

"I need to end it with Finn, but I'd rather not talk about it here." Tess pointed towards Claire's room.

"End it? Why?" asked Jodi, feeling surprised at the sudden turnaround of her sister's feelings.

Tess got out of bed and started to get ready. "Give me a couple minutes and I'll be outside. We can talk then." Tess said. She finished getting ready and was greeted by Jodi waiting on the porch.

"Okay so what happened last night? I thought things were going really well between you two."

"Too much. This feeling, it's too much, it's too intense. Everything is just happening way too fast. I feel like it is taking me over," said Tess.

"You are ending it because you like him too much? Tess, that doesn't make sense," said Jodi.

"It makes sense to me. Jodi, do you know what I did in the middle of the pub last night? I allowed myself to stand, wrapped in Finn's arms, saying nothing for like six straight minutes. That is a ridiculously long time. I am going to be Gungellan's number one topic of gossip this morning. I don't do that stuff. I'm reserved and private. I really value my privacy. I lose my sense of reality when I'm with him. It's dangerous. This intensity, it's just not sustainable or what I want. I felt ready to date thinking I might have some nice companionship, maybe a bit of romance and kisses. If I was really lucky, someone I might want to sleep with again. What I got instead was hit by a train of emotion. Finn feels it too, and neither of us wanted anything like this. This is insanity, We barely know each other. I need to end this before our attachment grows anymore. It already hurts thinking about not seeing him again, but it's only going to get worse if we continue as we are." said Tess.

"Tess, I don't think you should end it. I remember when you weren't private and reserved. When you first came to Drovers, before Nick, and before losing Claire, you were very free spirited. Maybe Finn is bringing you back to that uninhibited person you used to be, before all that trauma. I know you're scared, and that everything is happening so quickly, but I think there is something there for you. Something really special. I can tell by the way you were floating after the other dates. Tess, I think you should just give it a little time," said Jodi.

"If there was something special here for me, I would be able to breathe. I'm drowning. I need to get out of the water before it's too late," argued Tess.

"I think maybe you just need a little time to settle in with some of your feelings, start to process them a bit more. "

"I need to end it and get him out of my soul before l get anymore attached," argued Tess.

"I think you love him, Tess. I think you should see this through," said Jodi.

"I know I love him, that's why I have to end it now. There is no way something this intense is sustainable. It hurts enough as it is. There is so much I don't know about him, yet I love him? None of this makes sense. It's terrifying." replied Tess.

"But love! Love is special, it doesn't happen very often. You deserve earth shattering love!" said Jodi.

"I wish this hadn't happened. I wish Finn O'Hara had never shown up at Drovers Run and turned my entire life upside down. He literally is shattering my world. I just wanted friendly cups of coffee and nice conversation," said Tess.

"Okay. So can you at least walk me through how you came to this decision. How did things end last night?"

"We had another great date. I completely opened up to him. I told him about our relationship, and how things fell apart with Nick and how he cheated on me. That's when I accidentally let him hold me in his arms in the middle of the pub for so long. He said he thought I seemed vulnerable and wanted to comfort me. I did feel vulnerable after sharing that, and I liked him comforting me, but I got lost in him and let it go on way too long. Being with him feels so great that I lose track of reality, it's like we're on a different planet or something and nothing else matters or is even happening. So I finally snapped back to reality when Stevie walked by on her way to the ladies room. I was embarrassed about the display of affection, so we paid the bill and went over to the Gungellan playground for a little more privacy. While we were there, I told him how it scared me to be so lost in someone that I would stand there for so long like that. I told him everything was so intense, and happening so fast. I told him I was falling hard for him," admitted Tess.

"And what did he say?" asked Jodi

"He said he felt it too, and that it was more intense than anything he had ever felt and that he was falling hard for me too. Then he kissed me. It was like an amazing, electric kiss. The connection of the kiss was far more than anything I experienced with Nick or anyone, ever. It's indescribable how powerful it was. I felt like our souls actually met during the kiss. Then I got really scared and left and made Stevie pull out of the car park like a formula one driver," said Tess.

"Wow! Tess this sounds like the most romantic evening ever, well, until the leaving part." said Jodi.

"But it's our third date. I'm not supposed to feel that connection to a man I barely know. I feel like I get hit with a tractor everytime I see him. I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't risk myself and Claire and everything we have built here. The last time I let my heart decide, I ended up in Argentina with a baby, lonely, homesick and grasping at a relationship that wasn't there anymore. It's like I'm stuck in a Finn tornado and I can't get out. I just want to get out of the river. I don't want to go whitewater rafting anymore." said Tess.

"Tess, I know you're scared, but don't end it, not yet, at least, give yourself a little time away from him to let everything else catch up with where your heart is. Many people search their whole lives for what you are describing. Don't run away from it, Tess. Fight for it. You have to see where this goes," said Jodi.

"I'm just fighting for survival at this point."

"Tess, just please, give it a few days. You don't need to call him or see him or anything. Just hit pause on everything. Let your heart settle down a bit. I'm looking at this from an outside perspective as someone who isn't feeling these feelings, but what you're describing to me is Earth shattering, launch of a thousand ships, go to the moon and back, 'as you wish' Princess Bride true love. I would be the worst sister in the world if I didn't help you keep it," said Jodi.

"Let's just go get breakfast started. We've got plenty of work to do today. I just want to put Finn out of my mind for awhile," replied Tess