It's Called Networking
"What the hell is going on now?" Destro asked as he walked into the huge party going on in the pool area of the casino. "Who are all these people? And why are you throwing a party?"
"Let's just say I was inspired by your little freak out the other day," Cobra Commander told him. He was standing by a grill wearing an apron saying: Obey the Cook or Else.
"That was not my fault! That was Mindbender!" Destro hissed.
"Did I say it was your fault? No! I said it was a freak out," Cobra Commander snapped. "Anyway I figured since you guys had so much fun why not throw a party for other people who could use a good time?"
"And these other people are…?"
"Like minded individuals who are coming together to exchange ideas and possibly some cash for weapons," Cobra Commander said as he worked the grill.
"So you're throwing a party for dictators, mobsters, and tyrants?" Destro asked. "In our casino hotel? Why?"
"It's called networking," Cobra Commander snapped. Then he turned around. "I say…Vlad. Vlad! How do you want your burger? Medium rare? Gotcha!"
"Two questions," Destro blinked. "Where did you get a mechanical bull and why is the leader of Russia riding it without a shirt on?"
"Hey give the man a break!" Cobra Commander said. "It's not easy taking over a country you know? The guy has to let off some steam!"
"How about him? He's letting off a lot of steam," Destro pointed.
"Oh for crying out loud," Cobra Commander groaned.
Boing! Boing! Boing! BONK!
"Will you stop bouncing basketballs on everyone's head?" Cobra Commander shouted. "And that goes for your buddy too!"
"Some people have no manners," Destro grumbled.
"I told Kim not to bring Rodman to the party," Cobra Commander grumbled. "He always has to make a scene."
"Okay I'm going to go…somewhere else…" Destro moaned as he left Cobra Commander's side.
It wasn't long before he saw the Crimson Twins talking to some businessmen of various ethnicities. "If you ever need our services…" Tomax remarked.
"Here's our card," Xamot gave them business cards out.
"Let me guess you morons are networking too?" Destro groaned as they left the businessmen.
"It doesn't hurt," Xamot bristled.
"To make some new contacts," Tomax added.
"And maybe send a resume out," Xamot admitted.
"Or two," Tomax shrugged.
"The only reason I'm not going to report this to Cobra Commander is that I am actually hoping someone is stupid enough to take you both up on that offer," Destro groaned. "I need a drink."
"I don't care if you swore a vendetta against him," Cobra Commander was heard shouting. "Take it outside! This is a party for crying out loud!"
BOOOOOOOOOM!
"WHO SET OFF THAT ROCKET LAUNCHER?" Cobra Commander yelled. "I TOLD YOU PEOPLE NO WEAPONS AT THIS PARTY!"
"A big one," Destro walked away. "On the bright side I never liked that wall anyway."
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT HAVING KNIFE FIGHTS IN THE POOL?" Cobra Commander yelled. "I DON'T CARE IF YOUR COUNTRIES ARE AT WAR WITH EACH OTHER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO GET BODY PARTS OUT OF A FILTER?"
"Is there anyone else at this party I can talk to?" Destro groaned. "Preferably someone who isn't a complete and total psychotic?"
"OKAY WHO SHOT THE GUY CARRYING AROUND THE PIGS IN A BLANKET?" Cobra Commander shouted. "YOU DON'T DO THAT! AT LEAST UNTIL AFTER HE RUNS OUT OF FOOD!"
"Apparently not," Destro groaned.
"IN THE FIRST PLACE, THEY'RE NOT REAL PIGS!" Cobra Commander snapped. "IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION! IT'S MEAT BY PRODUCTS! AND SECONDLY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO EAT IT JUST SAY NO AND LET THE REST OF US HAVE A TASTE!"
"Just find one person to talk to," Destro looked around. "Anyone at all."
"Hello Destro!" Mindbender waved at him from across the room.
"Anyone at all," Destro kept looking.
"LOOK AT THIS! PERFECTLY GOOD FOOD ALL OVER THE FLOOR!" Cobra Commander snapped. "THIS IS A WASTE OF PERFECTLY GOOD CATERING MONEY!"
"I'LL EAT IT!" Torch was heard shouting. "WHAT? IT'S A CLEAN FLOOR!"
"Great party isn't it Destro?" Mindbender made his way to him.
BONK! BONK! BONK!
"WILL YOU STOP THROWING BASKETBALLS AT PEOPLE'S HEADS?" Cobra Commander snapped. "IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!"
BONK!
"DON'T YOU START ACHMED!" Cobra Commander yelled. "AND THAT'S NOT A BOMB! PUT THAT DOWN!"
"It has its moments," Destro sighed, resigned to his fate. "So how are you doing Mindbender? I ask even though I know I have no choice."
"OI! WHO WANTS TO PLAY LET'S THROW THE HAMMER AND HIT SOMETHING?" Ripper was heard shouting.
"Actually I do have a choice so…" Destro blinked. "I do want to know how you are doing since for once it is actually the lesser of two evils."
"Quite good actually," Mindbender grinned. "Met up with a few other mad scientists and compared notes. Then just had sex in the coat room."
"Wonderful," Destro groaned. "Dare I ask with whom?"
"Not really sure," Mindbender shrugged. "She was wearing a veil."
"Well that explains why that gentleman is coming this way waving a sword," Destro remarked.
"Uh oh," Mindbender blinked. "Later!" He ran off.
The gentleman in tan dictator garb ran by screaming profanities in his own language. "Wonderful. Mindbender is getting laid and I'm striking out," Destro groaned as he walked away.
"AGAIN! THIS IS A PARTY! NOT A BATTLEFIELD!" Cobra Commander was heard yelling. "IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR VENDETTAS AT THE DOOR LEAVE!"
RAT-A TAT TAT TAT!
BONK!
"OH THAT'S HOW YOU WANNA PLAY HUH?" Cobra Commander yelled. "ALL RIGHT YOU ASKED FOR IT!"
"And here come the grenades," Destro wisely decided to exit the party. "Exit stage right. Sometimes the best trait a guest can have at a party is knowing when to leave."
Twenty minutes later in the hotel casino bar…
"Well that was a bust," Cobra Commander staggered into the bar. His apron had bloodstains on it and he had some scuffs on his uniform.
"I take it the party wasn't the rousing success you thought it would be?" Destro asked as he sat at the bar drinking.
"I admit it could have gone better. The party wouldn't have been half bad if it wasn't for the guests," Cobra Commander grumbled as he sat down. "I swear I don't know why I bother."
"I wonder the same thing on a daily basis," Destro moaned.