Chapter 106

Grace felt incredibly alone. She regretted sending Stevie away. Finding out about Gavin's infidelity had devastated her. She had known things weren't perfect, but she had thought they were working through their problems, and that he was still devoted to the marriage. Trying to flirt with Bobby brought it all to light that she was still incredibly hurt and needed to process everything much more before trying a new relationship, even something as casual as what she had envisioned.

She had come home early from work and caught them red handed. It was shocking and painful, but Grace was glad she had seen it with her own eyes. There was no way to deny it or try to justify it or lessen the impact. She was so angry that it gave her the strength to immediately throw him out, call a lawyer and file for divorce. She didn't know the woman, but it didn't seem like she knew Gavin was married when Grace walked in on them, it didn't matter to her at the time, Grace threw her out too.

In the last month, Grace had packed up Gavin's things, and made him move out. She had started divorce proceedings and quickly realized she couldn't afford the rent to their flat on her own, as Gavin had covered more than half of their pricey waterview flat. She was working on finding a new place when she had to fly to Fisher so Regan could pick her up at the airport on their way driving from Canberra. All of her things were in storage, and she was essentially homeless. She had taken two weeks off from her job, but she wasn't sure she even wanted to stay there. She wasn't passionate about her office job. She had no idea what she wanted to do from this point on.

Her phone buzzed. It was Regan. Grace smiled through her tears seeing her sister calling.

"Hey! What's up?" said Grace.

"Hey, so Jaz isn't coming to the fair tomorrow, that means you can come! We can pick you up. Ben told Jaz he was going too, but he is actually staying around to set up the stuff for his scavenger hunt. I offered to take Kelly from Ben, but he said he wants her with him while he sets up."

"Yes, I'm in. The district fair sounds great," said Grace, thrilled she didn't have to spend the day alone in the house.

"Awesome, Tess and Jodi and their whole gang are going too. I'm sure they all want to see you."

"I want to see them too. I bet Meggie and Katie have gotten so big, and Claire will be a young woman by now. It'll be great," said Grace.

"Fantastic. I'll see you in the morning. Give Stevie a hug for me."

"I will. Bye sis." Grace felt a little better. She often felt alone and forgot to ask for help when she really needed it. Speaking with her sister reminded her she wasn't alone, and that people would help her if she wanted it.

Grace stood up and walked to Stevie's bedroom. She knocked on the door.

"Come on in," said Stevie from the other side of the door.

"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt," said Grace as she walked in, tears still glistening in her eyes.

Stevie motioned for Grace to have a seat.

"James, I've got to go. I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for calling. Have a great night. Bye." Stevie smiled as she spoke.

Grace walked over and gave Stevie a hug.

"Thanks, for that." said Stevie

"That was from Regan. She said that Jaz isn't going to the fair, so I can go with everyone tomorrow. I don't have to stay back and hide at Killarney!"

"That actually works great. Would you mind helping me out?" asked Stevie.

"What do you need?" asked Grace

"I need a driver. Xander and I are going early with Rufus in the float for the rodeo. That means there is no one to bring the trailer with the Demo Car. I can't hook up both the horse trailer and the car trailer to my ute."

"So you need me to drive to Fisher with the demo car?" asked Grace.

"I can ask Bobby to do it. I know he is planning on going with Blake anyway."

"I'll see if Regan and Dylan just want to ride with me instead," said Grace

"Are you sure you don't mind?" asked Stevie.

"I'm happy to help Stevie, we always help each other." said Grace

"Okay. Were you feeling ready to talk yet?"

"Who's James?" asked Grace

"I had a feeling you were going to ask that when you heard me on the phone," said Stevie, blushing.

"You seemed a little flirty when you were saying goodbye."

"James is the man I had a date with last night," said Stevie.

"And he called you today? That's a good sign, even better than just a text," said Grace.

"I think so. I like him. I like talking to him, but he lives far away, so I'm not really sure what's going to happen. We had a date because he was in town last night."

"How did you meet him, if he lives so far away?

"His son Joey and Xander competed against each other in the rodeo. Last night was our first date, so it's very new, but I had fun and I'd like to see him again. In all honesty, it was my best first date with anyone in several years," admitted Stevie.

"So what made the date so good?" asked Grace.

"I'm not sure exactly. He is really different from other men I've dated. I was taken by surprise and agreed to the date without even thinking much about it. I was pretty nervous about it actually, because he's a lawyer and well educated and a city guy, and I didn't think I would have fun or have anything to talk to him about, but Jaz helped me out," said Stevie

"That's nice, What did Jaz say that helped you feel better?" asked Grace

"She helped me realize that while I have dated a lot since Alex, I had never really opened my heart because I just kept looking for the same thing I had with Alex, and that I'm not ever going to find the same thing. She talked to me about losing Mark, and how different Ben is from Mark. She knew she would never find another Mark, but she decided to look for something different, but also great. She suggested I stop comparing my dates to Alex, and stop dating guys who are similar to Alex and search for a totally different experience. It made sense to me." said Stevie. "So James is a solicitor who lived almost his entire life in Melbourne. He knows almost nothing about farming or rodeo, and has only started to learn to ride a horse in the last couple months. He's a ginger and wore a suit at the pub last night." said Stevie.

"He sounds like Marcus when he arrived here, before Alex knew he was his brother," said Grace.

"No. he's not really like Marcus either. He's just James. He isn't like anyone else. But anyway, that's enough about James. Are you feeling more ready to talk?"

"That's great Stevie. I'm really happy for you, I hope you find love again," said Grace as she broke down and started sobbing as Stevie hugged her.

"Oh Grace, I'm so sorry," was all Stevie could think to say. She knew nothing she could say would fix her friend's marriage. She just needed to be there for her.

"He cheated on me. I caught him in our bed. I threw him out, but I can't afford our apartment on my own. He had a lot more money than I ever did, so he had paid more than half the rent. My things are in storage, I don't know where I'm going home to. I'm basically homeless," said Grace.

"Oh Grace. That sounds awful. What a bastard. You can stay here as long as you want to. It gets lonely with just Xander and I. I would love to have you here with me," said Stevie.

"It just seems like I'll never get the happy ending that others get. Every man I have ever loved has chosen someone else over me. Every single one. I know I'm not as pretty as my sisters, and I never had luck with men like they did, but I'm not asking for all men to love me. I just wanted one good man to love me back. Just one. Me falling in love with a man is as good as packing his bags and sending him running. No one ever loved me back. No one ever loved me back. No man ever chooses me. What is wrong with me? Am I so ugly of a person that no one will ever choose me?" Grace sobbed.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Grace, you're beautiful." said Stevie, rubbing Grace's back.

"I have loved only a few men in my life, and all of them chose someone else over me. Why don't men love me back? Am I that unlovable? Did I do something terrible that made me so unworthy of love? I thought I had finally found someone who loved me back with Gavin. I moved to the city for him, gave up riding, worked in an office, all because he loved me back, because I was his first choice. That was all I wanted, but it was still just more of the same. It just took a little longer than the others. He didn't love me back. No one ever loves me back. What is so wrong with me, Stevie? Why am I unlovable? Why does no one ever choose me?" Grace was struggling to get the words out, she was so upset.

Stevie's heart was breaking for her friend. "Grace, you are not unlovable, you are beautiful. Gavin is an idiot for not seeing how amazing you are. You are very worthy of love. You deserve a lot better than you got. I'm sorry Grace. You are very lovable." Stevie wrapped her arms around her friend and just tried to hold her tight and let her cry it out. Stevie knew she couldn't fix this, she just had to be there for Grace while she tried to work through it.

Stevie finally got Grace into bed. She knew her friend was hurting badly. Stevie reckoned that Grace's self esteem was as low right now, as it had ever been. Stevie knew that Marcus was the reason why Grace had left Drovers eleven years ago. She couldn't stop loving him, even after he chose Ingrid over her, and seeing him on a regular basis had been too much for her.

Stevie had been so happy when Grace had met Gavin and she seemed so happy with him. She had changed her entire life for him, leaving the rodeo, moving to Perth and taking an office job. When Stevie had asked her about making such a big change, she had answered that finding love was really important to her and she would follow it wherever it took her. Even when her marriage seemed to be going well, she didn't visit Gungellan very often until Marcus had moved to a different property. It was pretty obvious to Stevie that Marcus' rejection and choice of Ingrid over her still weighed heavily on Grace all these years later.

As far as Stevie knew, Grace had only ever loved three men, Marcus, Heath and Gavin. The three rejections combined had clearly devastated her self esteem at this point. Both Heath and Gavin had betrayed her trust and cheated on her, and Marcus had chosen Ingrid, ending his relationship with Grace when Ingrid had come back to town. Grace was stoic and didn't like people to see her suffer, so for Stevie, she watched her friend suffer silently, trying not to show how hurt she was by Marcus' rejection for months. Stevie had heard muffled sobs coming from Grace's bedroom late at night occasionally at Drovers, but she had never come to Stevie as she had tonight. Jaz and Regan had spent a few nights in Grace's room, helping to comfort her back then, but Grace was not the type to show her pain to anyone, even her close friends or family, so for her to come ask for help now, Stevie knew how badly Grace must be hurting, and also, that maybe, she was learning to ask for help more.

Grace had finally realized she couldn't stay at Drovers, living next door to Marcus and Ingrid, and have any hope of moving on, so she had left, going back to the campdrafting circuit and the rodeo where she had met Gavin, who worked for one of the sponsors of the tour. She had seemed happy until she dropped the bombshell of her divorce this evening. Stevie knew that finding true love had been something Grace wanted desperately before she met Gavin, and that she thought she had finally found it with him, so Stevie knew that Gavin's betrayal not just hurt Grace, but that it devastated her.

Stevie knew Grace deserved better in love than what she got. She was one of the most selfless people she knew, and was going to need the support of her family. Stevie tucked in her friend who had cried herself to sleep and turned off the light to the guest room.

I hope she tells her sisters soon. She needs them, thought Stevie as she went outside to load the demo car onto the trailer.