A/N: Finally we get to the talk.

Chapter 4

This story was not going to be a short one. If she was going to explain the whole situation then she was going to have to start at the very beginning, which was long before Avery's conception even. "You probably noticed that a good majority of the people at the hospital knew who I was. I spent a great deal of time running around those hallways growing up because of my mom. I knew the doctors and the nurses and what they did for their patients. I probably saw more of what went on there then a little kid probably should have, but I loved it. I knew very early on that I wanted to follow my mom's footsteps and become a doctor."

Clarke could tell by the look on Lexa's face that she had no idea what this had to do with Avery. But she also knew that Lexa wasn't going to interrupt her so she continued. "So, naturally I was very serious about school. I took all the hard classes and even early college courses. I wasn't a total nerd though, I did have a group of friends I hung out with on a regular basis, but I never let them interfere with my schoolwork so I didn't do a lot of the things other kids normally do."

Clarke paused for a second to take a moment and remember what she was like at that age. "I was fairly naïve about relationships and there were probably signs I missed along the way, but when Finn took interest in me I didn't know what to think."

She continued with her story and Lexa sat with rapt attention as Clarke explained how Finn had begged on several occasions for a date and how she finally agreed. Their first date had been enjoyable so they started dating regularly. He seemed like a really nice guy and he acted supportive of her goals. She thought she had gotten lucky and met a great guy.

"About three months into our relationship I thought I was falling in love. I knew though that I wasn't ready for sex. I was only sixteen and I had plenty of time for that. He tried, but when I refused he backed off. He acted fine about it, but we started fighting about other things. He tried a few other times over the course of several months but each time I refused and each time our fights got bigger. After six months of dating we broke up."

Lexa was now more than a little confused and she knew that showed on her face. She thought going into this story that Finn was Avery's father, but maybe he wasn't. "So, he's not Avery's dad, I'm guessing."

"I'm getting there I promise, this is kind of a long story." She also knew that the next part didn't paint her in a good light. Although she knew Lexa loved her, she was upset with herself that she had even let this happen. "A few days after the break up there was a party. I knew Finn was planning on going, so at first, I didn't want to go. As I sat home though I realized the party belonged to one of my friends and it wasn't fair I was the one sitting at home, so I went."

Clarke wandered through her friend, Octavia's house, as she tried to find the girl in question. She wanted to let her know she had decided to come after all. Someone tried to hand her a cup, but she declined and moved further into the house. She had no plans to drink that night because she did have a paper to finish that weekend.

That plan held out for a little while as she chatted with a few of her friends and danced to some random songs. That was until she saw Finn dancing very intimately with some girl. After that she downed one drink and then another. As her inhibitions started weakening, she found herself dancing with a couple random guys in ways she normally wouldn't have. Still, she was sober enough that she thought she was thinking clearly.

Then she caught Finn watching her. His eyes stayed on her while she danced with some guy from the football team and continued as she made her way towards the drinks. As she downed another drink one of her old friends came up to the table. She and Tom had been pretty good friends all the way through middle school, but in high school they kind of went their separate ways. She was pretty sure the idea that had popped into her head was a bad one, but she didn't care.

"Hey Tom, do you know Finn Collins?" she asked, slurring her words a little as she poured another drink.

"Ah yeah, he's been dating Raven so I've seen him at her house a few times."

Dating, he was already dating someone else. "Bastard!" she thought, or well realized she exclaimed by the look on Tom's face. "Wait, how long has he been with her?"

Tom took a drink of his beer as he tried to do the math in his head. "I don't know. At least three weeks probably. That's when I saw him the first time."

"Three weeks! We only broke up like four days ago! What a jackass!"

"You were dating him? I'm sorry Clarke, I didn't know. I've seen him with a few other girls at other parties and stuff," he admitted. He couldn't help but feel bad for his friend. She didn't deserve to have this happen to her.

Clarke couldn't believe that Finn had been cheating on her for who knew how long. Here she thought he was such a good guy. It sounded like he probably just wanted in her pants and when she denied him, he went looking elsewhere. He probably just kept her around in case she changed her mind.

More determined than ever to go through with her plan she gives Tom a pleading look. "Do you want to help me get a little payback?"

Tom raises an eyebrow at her. He's never know Clarke to be the revengeful type, but maybe things have changed for her. "What did you have in mind?"

"Do you want to be my date for the rest of the night?" she asked innocently enough, but he knew whatever she had planned wasn't innocent just by the look on her face. "Dance with me, maybe make out a little bit to make that douchebag jealous."

"For whatever reason, Tom agreed. He and I spent the next little while dancing to several songs. Grinding on each other is probably a better description and Finn was definitely keeping an eye on us. So, we upped the ante and started making out. Tom was a good kisser and I enjoyed it, but I also knew it was for show." Clarke really hoped that Lexa's opinion of her wasn't going to change. She was young and stupid and teenagers made stupid choices sometimes.

"We decided to go upstairs and find an empty room so he would believe we were doing it. What we didn't realize was this meant being stuck in that room together for a while." It hadn't been that bad at first, they just talked. Well they tried to talk. "We were both pretty drunk at this point and now bored so when he suggested we make out for fun, I agreed. Problem was we didn't stop at just making out."

Lexa wasn't sure what to think about what Clarke was telling her. She understood teenagers made crappy decisions, especially when drunk, so she kind of understood. "So, is that when Avery was conceived?" she asked hesitantly. She wasn't even sure if it was appropriate to ask that.

"No, unfortunately the story doesn't end there. We still have a little ways to go. You see, after that night, Tom and I started spending time together again, as friends. But when we felt like it we would hook up. So, I guess you could say we had a friends-with-benefits relationship going. I figured why not since we'd already had sex anyway. He lived with his sister who worked a lot to provide for them so we had the house to ourselves and so sometimes it would just happen."

The next part of the story was going to be really hard for her. She hadn't thought about that time in her life for a long time. "His sister, Trish, was really nice, although quite a bit older than us. Their story was a little complicated." She continued to explain how they had the same dad but different mom's. Their dad was a jackass and left both women with his kids to raise. Although there was almost ten years between the kids. Tom's mom died when he was just five years old and he got put in the system, until his sister turned eighteen and took custody of him. "Life was really good, then everything changed."

"You sure you don't want to come out with us tonight?" Tom asked her from the other end of the phone. Him and a few of his buddies were heading out of town to some college party they had heard about.

"You know I have that paper to write. I have got to get it done tonight."

"Yes, because if you don't you might get an A- in your class," he teased. He wasn't really giving her a hard time. He knew why she worked as hard as she did. He just thought she could use a night out, but he wouldn't push her.

Clarke finished her paper a couple hours later and gave herself a pat on the back because she thought she had done a pretty decent job. She text Tom that she was finished and if he got back early enough from the party and wanted hang to let her know. Or if he got drunk and needed a ride she could come get him. She never heard back from him though and so she figured he was having a good time and went to bed.

An hour or so later she was startled awake when her phone began to ring. Thinking maybe her friend needed a ride or something she answered it without looking at the caller ID. It took her a minute to realize who was on the phone. At first, she could barely understand Trish, but as the words began to make sense her whole body became chilled to the bone.

"They'd never even made it to the party. Some guy had decided to run a red light and he was already going way over the speed limit when he hit their car. They think Tom probably died on impact. One of his friends died at the hospital. The other survived but he was never the same again."

Clarke chocked back a sob as she remembered the funeral. Watching them lower Tom's body into the ground had been one of the hardest things she had ever seen. "A week after his funeral I realized I was late. A part of me was scared shitless at the possibility of being pregnant. The other part of me couldn't help but see what a blessing that child would be, because it was a part of Tom that would live on," Clarke tried to explain through her tears. "Even though we had spent a few years apart he was still one of my best friends."

Lexa wrapped an arm around Clarke's shoulders and pulled her into her body, letting her cry it out. She was wishing now that her girlfriend hadn't told her this story right now. Not because she didn't want to know, but because she was sure it was only adding to her grief over her father.

"My parents at first weren't happy about it, but in time we all agreed it was best to keep this baby. I couldn't even contemplate putting her up for adoption when I knew how badly Tom hated the three years he spent in foster homes. My parents though didn't want to see all my hard work go down the drain so we agreed they would raise her. At least until I was stable enough to take care of her. That was always the plan, that someday she would come to live with me. I was just trying to finish my internship first."

That was a complete shock to Lexa. There was a very real possibility that Avery would have come to live with Clarke. Which, just proved to Lexa that her girlfriend really did plan on telling her about her daughter all along. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked again. "You have to know I would have understood."

"I do," Clarke told her. "I tried so many times. It just never came out. But I had been burnt before," she admitted. "I dated this girl in college. Her name was Lacy. Avery was probably three or four at the time. My school wasn't too far so I'd still go home as often as I could, so one day I decided to ask her to come with. She knew about Avery, but I guess the reality was different. She didn't like how much of my attention wasn't on her, but on Avery. And my poor little girl knew this lady didn't like her so boy did she give it right back. Still I tried to please them both, our relationship last a few more months but eventually ended when I realize she'd never accept Avery."

"Well, this Lacy, sounds like a bitch," Lexa responded. "Avery should be your priority and I understand that." She would have to get used to a change in their relationship, but it wouldn't be that hard. She loved Clarke and she knew it wouldn't be hard to fall in love with Avery. The girl was smart and funny and so many of the things she loved about her girlfriend.

"I love you," Clarke smiled. She couldn't help it. As she looked into those eyes she loved so much, she just had to say it. She knew Lexa was being honest with her. This revelation hasn't changed their feelings in anyway. They would have to make some changes, but they could do it together.

"I love you, too," Lexa gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "We should probably go to bed though. I know you. You'll want to be up at the hospital at the earliest moment."

"I do," Clarke agreed. "I just don't know what to do about Avery. She shouldn't be at the hospital all day. And tomorrow is Sunday, not that I am going to be sending her to school anyway. Not for a while anyway. Which reminds me I need to call the school on Monday, don't let me forget."

"I won't," Lexa promised. She might need to make a list to go in her phone so she remembered things, but Clarke wouldn't be in any frame of mind for that so she'd do what she could to help. Which meant, "I'll stay with Avery tomorrow. At least in the morning and then we can figure things out as we go along. Okay?"

"Are you sure?" Clarke didn't want Lexa to feel like she had to baby-sit.

"Of course. I need to get to know her. She's important to you, so she's important to me."

Clarke grinned at that. This time she knew she was lucky in who she'd found as a partner. Lexa was everything she'd ever dreamed of finding and even more. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm here for whatever you need. I mean that."

"I know you do. But, you're right we need to head to bed." Clarke stood up and reached out a hand to help Lexa up. They walked hand-in-hand up the stairs as Clarke lead her to her old bedroom. "Mom usually keeps my room clean just in case I come home," Clarke said mindlessly as she opened the door to the room she'd grown up in. Everything was exactly as she left it that first time she left for college.

"Yeah, when I was fifteen I though the red and black bedding was like the coolest thing ever. Never changed it before I left for college so here it stays."

"As long as it's comfortable, who cares?" Lexa smiled. She flopped down on the bed so she was laying across it. "Somehow I knew it would be as comfortable as your bed back home."

Clarke smiled at Lexa calling her apartment home. Although they have never discussed living together, they basically did anyway. She hoped that soon it would be a more permanent thing and Lexa would give up her own place. They'd have to discuss it though. Maybe once everything here was taken care of. Whenever that may be.

A part of her knew there could be a lot of other things changing in her life. She just hoped that Lexa would be there with her no matter what happened. Not knowing how her mom was doing would be a large factor that could change everything. She couldn't even image how her life would change if her mom was paralyzed.

"If you want, there should be some hangers in the closet you can hang things up if you need to. And I'll take the right side of the dresser so you can have the left if you want to unpack anything. I don't know how long we'll be here. I don't know what you brought so just take whatever space you want. If you can't stay long I'll understand because it looks like I may be here a couple weeks at the least."

Lexa stood back up and put a hand up to cover Clarke's mouth. "Honey, stop rambling. I'm here as long as you need me. I had some leave I needed to use anyway. If my boss doesn't like it, he can kiss my ass. You are my priority right now."

Clarke melted at her words. She should probably argue that Lexa has been working too hard trying to make detective to let it all go to waste, but right now she needed her. She couldn't even begin to imagine going through all this without the girl she loved.

Instead of responding, she just leaned in and kissed her passionately. She let her body say what she couldn't. Lexa pulled back before they got too carried away. This wasn't what Clarke needed tonight. Instead she took the lead getting them both ready for bed. Then once the lights were out, she pulled the other girl to her and rubbed her back softly until she felt Clarke's breathing slow. Long after Clarke had fallen asleep, Lexa just held on tight, giving her as much comfort as she possibly could until she too fell off into dreamland.