A/N: Making sure to give you guys a chapter this week because I'm not sure what will happen next week. My dad's birthday is Wed so my brother and I are going up to Wyoming to visit (we live in Utah.)

Chapter 10

Getting Abby into the house was no small feat. Clarke didn't realize that getting a wheelchair up the steps to the front door would be so hard. They weren't very steep, but they weren't very wide either so there wasn't much room for the wheels to rest. She and Derek had decided just to try and lift the chair all together and barely managed to even accomplish that, but it worked out just fine.

Abby stayed quiet through the whole ordeal. It was both frustrating and embarrassing that she couldn't just walk up the stairs herself, that she had to be lifted by her daughter of all people to get inside the house. She was angry that all this had happened. That her whole life had changed overnight. But she stayed quiet. She couldn't bring herself to show her emotions to the people around her. It would make her look weaker than she already was.

None of them really knew what to do once she was inside the house. Did they just act like everything was normal and go about their day? There was silence between them as they all just looked at each other, unsure of what to do now.

"I'll, uh, get your stuff out of the car," Derek gestured throwing his thumbs over his shoulder as if to point to the driveway. He turned on his heels and headed out.

"Do you need anything?" Clarke asked her mother.

"No, uh, I think I'll just head to my, uh, room. I just need to be alone for a while."

Clarke's eyes followed as her mother wheeled herself down the hallway towards the bedroom that now belonged to her mother. Once she was out of sight, Clarke dumped herself onto the couch in the small sitting area just off the foyer and let out a deep sigh. She rubbed at her head wishing this day would be over so that maybe tomorrow would feel a little more normal.

"Where'd your mom go?" Derek asked as he dropped the bag of Abby's things just inside the doorway.

"Said she wanted to be alone."

Derek took a look down the hallway and noticed the doorway that was once open was now shut almost all the way, leaving only a small space. "I don't think she's processing all this quite yet."

"Neither am I," Clarke admitted. She kept hoping this was some nightmare she would wake up from and everything would be normal. That her dad wouldn't be dead and that her mom wasn't hurt.

"Yeah, I get it." Derek looked around the room, trying to find the right words to say but nothing was coming to him. He needed to do something or he'd go crazy. "I'm going to run to the hardware store and get some plywood or something to make a temporary ramp."

Clarke groaned and rubbed at her head again. "Okay, sounds good. Sometime today I'll look for someone to come out and make a more permanent one. I didn't even think about that. Even if she walks again stairs might be hard for her."

"Hey, you are doing great. Nobody would expect you to think of every little thing. One day at a time we'll get this all figure out." He walked over to where his niece sat and pulled her up off the couch and wrapped her in her arms. "We'll figure it out," he repeated.

Clarke leaned into the hug and hid her face in his chest. She was so grateful that he was here. She couldn't image getting through this week without him. She pulled back from the hug when she felt she was sufficiently comforted and let him know without words that she was okay. He gave her one last long look before heading back out the door.

She headed further into the house thinking she'd find either Lexa or Avery in the living room, but it turned up empty as well as the kitchen. Turning around she headed back out the way she had come so she could head upstairs, thinking she'd probably find them in one of the bedrooms. Avery's proved to be empty as well, but Lexa was laid out on her bed with a book in her hands. She recognized it as one she and her daughter had read just a few weeks ago.

"We're home," she quietly announced so she didn't startle her girlfriend.

"Good, how'd it go?"

"About as well as I expected," Clarke answered. She moved to the bed and laid down so that her head was resting on Lexa's chest. She could really use the comfort only her love could provide.

Lexa marked her page and sat the book down on the bedside table without moving too much and disturbing her girlfriend. She ran a hand through blonde locks in an attempt to sooth the other woman.

"As soon as we got her in the house she wheeled herself to the bedroom and said she wanted to be alone. I know she's going through a lot right now, and I know she must be hating everything that is happening, but she's not talking about. I don't know if I should try to get her to, or just leave her alone," she admitted.

"She needs time to come to terms with it. She's probably feeling really vulnerable now and if she's anything like her daughter she's not going to like that feeling one bit."

Clarke wanted to take offense at that, but she knew Lexa was right because she hated feeling vulnerable. Doctors were essentially trained to be strong or at least present a strong front. You needed to be confident in your abilities and in yourself. There was no room for those weaker emotions and so she more than anyone could empathize what her mother was going through. It went against her nature to need all the help she now needed.

"You're right. I should give her some time. But I should also let her know I'm here if she needs me."

"I think she already knows that," Lexa told her. "It's not something you need to tell her because she sees it in you every day. She'll come to you when she's ready."

"I hope you're right." Clarke yawned and started to close her eyes but then snapped them right back open. As comfortable as she was, she couldn't fall asleep now. She still needed to deal with her daughter.

"How's Avery?"

"She calmed down after you left. Her and I had a nice little talk so she could get to what was bugging her."

"What was bugging her?"

Lexa shook her head. "Not for me to tell you. However, I am supposed to give you this?" she pulled the envelope out from under the pillow where she'd temporarily hidden it and handed it over to Clarke.

The other girl sat up and took the envelope in her hands. On it 'Mom' had been scrawled across the middle and little pink and purple hearts surrounded it. She flipped it over and carefully opened the top and pulled out the letter within and began to read.

Dear Mom,

I'm very sorry for yelling at you. I don't hate you, I promise. I love you. I thought I was being left behind again and I got mad. Lexa helped me see it differently though. She's really smart.

But not as smart as you because you're a doctor and that's like the best job ever. I hate that you're gone so you could go to school but at least I still got to see you on the computer so it wasn't so bad.

I think you are the best mom in the entire world. None of my friends' moms and dads read books with them. I love that you do that with me. You are always there to talk to when I've got thoughts I need to get out.

You are my best friend. We always have so much fun together watching movies and laughing. Some kids think it's weird we hang out together but we always have a great time so I don't care if they think we are weird. It's too bad for them that their parents don't just spend time with them.

Remember when we went to the kids museum and you got us kicked out because you were playing on the big toys and the people working there told you they weren't made for adults. That was so funny. You didn't want to tell grandma we got kicked out so we went to the park and you started a giant game of tag with all the kids there. That was my favorite day.

I love you lots and lots. Also, I love Lexa. You should really marry her so she can be my mom too. She would make an awesome mom.

Love you,

Avery

By the time she was done reading there were tears in her eyes. She read it over a second and a third time trying to soak it all in. She smiled at Avery said she loved Lexa, and her heart skipped a beat at the idea of marrying her and Avery being happy about it.

Still, her eyes kept going back to that sentence where it said, 'left behind again.' She had always worried that maybe she was doing severe damage to Avery by leaving her in California and going in and out of her life. At least as far as their time spent together in person went. She knew she did more than some by being in constant contact via phone and computer, but still she worried.

"I knew leaving would someday come to bite me in the ass," Clarke said sadly. She handed the letter over to Lexa so she could read it. The way Lexa hadn't looked at it, she knew the other girl was trying to give her space, but she didn't want it, not from Lexa.

She gave her a chance to read it over before speaking again. "I worried she'd develop abandonment issues someday and clearly she has."

"I'm not so sure that's what that means."

Clarke looked her in the eye trying to read her thoughts. How could Lexa get anything different from what she'd read. "What else could it mean?"

"Clearly she's happy about you being a doctor and she understands it took a lot for that to happen. And she knows where you are and she can talk to you any time she wants. I think this has more to do with her grandfather being gone. He's left and she can't follow him."

"That, actually, makes a lot of sense," Clarke agreed. "You could be right. Still it hurts."

Lexa wrapped one arm around Clarke and pulled the other girl into her shoulder. "I know it does, but you guys will get through this and you'll be stronger than ever."

"I hope so."

"I like the part about you should marry me," Lexa smiled.

"Mm, I liked that part too." Clarke couldn't believe they were even talking about it and even more like it was no big deal. They'd only been together five months. And yet, she couldn't see herself marrying anyone else, ever. Lexa was the girl her heart wanted. It was still way too early for that. There was still so much they needed to talk about. "I agree that you'd make an awesome mom. Avery is totally taken by you."

Lexa 'hmm'd' but didn't give any more of a response. The idea of being Avery's mom wasn't unappealing, but she wasn't sure she had the first clue what it took to be a parent. She wasn't as confident as the Griffin girls were about that particular topic.

"Where is the munchkin?"

"She's out in the treehouse. She figured it would be the last place you looked and she wanted you to read the letter first so you knew she wasn't mad."

Clarke pulled herself out of Lexa's arms even though she didn't want to and moved to get up. "I guess I should go talk to her then."

She couldn't believe the ladder leading up into the treehouse was still sturdy after all these years. Her father must have kept it well maintained. She could see some of the wood pieces were new and there were shiny new nails holding them together. There was a pang of sadness that he wouldn't be here to keep it nice any longer.

The treehouse wasn't extremely large but it had been big enough to sleep her and a couple of friends during the summer. It gave them the smallest sense of freedom, even if it was an illusion because her parents were just a holler away and always slept with their window open when she had her sleepovers out there just in case.

She popped through the hole in the floor that led inside to see her daughter curled up on the beanbag with a book in her hands. It had been a small surprise to find Lexa reading earlier, but finding Avery doing the same was anything but. In fact she would have been more surprised if there wasn't a novel in her kid's hand.

"What are you reading?"

Avery held the book up so that her mother could read the title.

"I thought we decided you weren't going to read The Hunger Games for a few more years." Clarke was fine with her daughter reading the book someday because it was a good book. However, she didn't think her ten-year-old needed to be exposed to the dark themes of the book just yet.

"I know, but I've read everything else in my room, so I went looking in yours. Beside I saw the movie at Sydney's house a couple weeks ago."

Clarke conceded then. If she'd already seen the movie there wasn't really any reason not to let her read the book. At least then she'd get the whole story. "Alright then. I haven't read it since I was in high school. I'll have to get a refresher."

Avery sat the book aside, knowing her mom didn't come up here to talk about books. "I'm really sorry."

Clarke plopped down beside Avery and pulled the girl into her. "I know you are. I loved your note by the way."

"I wanted you to know I wasn't mad at you."

Clarke smiled down at her daughter. "I know you weren't. A lot has happened in such a short amount of time. It's only natural that your feelings are all mixed up right now. But I did want to know why you felt you are being left behind."

Avery shrugged her shoulders.

"Is it because I don't live here? Are you upset about that?"

Avery shrugged again. "Not really. I still see you and I still talk to you. But it's not like other kids that live with their moms."

Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. If the decision hadn't already been mostly taken out of her hands it was decided now. She wasn't going to leave again. She couldn't do that to Avery and she couldn't do it to herself. Her mom would need her for the foreseeable future anyway, so either way it was going to happen. "So, you are mad at me."

"No, I know you had to go away to school. It just sucks."

"Yeah it does," she agreed. "Is that the only reason? Or is it because of grandpa?" She needed to know so that she could figure out how to help her baby girl.

"He's not coming back and I miss him," Avery said sadly. "I can't talk to him and I really want too."

So, Jake Griffin was the catalyst for this bout of pent up emotion that spewed out earlier. Lexa was right after all. "I know how you feel, sweetheart. We'll always miss him, but it'll get better with time."

They sat in silence for a little while, each giving into their grief for those quiet moments. They took comfort in each other. Being together had always made their day just a little bit better, especially when those days for so long game so far in between.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Am I in trouble?" She'd never been in trouble with her mom before. Her grandparents, sure, but never her mom.

"Not yet. But you can't try to pit Lexa and I against each other." Clarke saw the confusion on Avery's face and knew she didn't understand. "What I mean is, if I tell you to do something you need to do it, not ask someone else, like asking Lexa to read longer."

Avery knew she was caught. She didn't think her mom would find out, but apparently, she did. "Okay."

"I'm serious. Her and I talked about it. Same goes if she tells you to do something. I know she's not your parent," Clarke wanted to add a 'yet' on there but she didn't, "but she is an adult you need to respect."

Avery was already starting to see Lexa as another parent so it wouldn't be hard to listen to her too. "I still think you should marry her."

"Maybe someday I will," Clarke admitted. "I hope we do get married someday, because I do love her. But that also means that her and I talk to each other, a lot. So, you can't think you're going to get away with things like the other night."

"I won't. I promise."

"Good. Now let's go find Lexa and decide what to do for dinner because I'm hungry."

The two laughed and teased as the wandered back into the house. Clarke knew that at least for now everything was going to be okay.

A/N 2: If anyone remembers I mentioned this story came to me while watching Disney's Andi Mack. Well I just read they are going to have Disney Channel's first real LGBTQ storyline with a main character so I'm even more glad I decided to watch that show even if I'm way past my Disney days. LOL