Disclaimer: I don't own any characters blah blah blah owned by JK Rowling blah blah blah don't sue me.
Summary: Draco is used to getting Christmas presents. His girlfriend gets him the best presents. This year, her presents are a bit… odd? Or at the least, likely to annoy his parents.
Characters acting slightly OOC (Out Of Character), implied Dramione.
(Wizarding) Christmas Countdown
Day 8
Hermione,
While I'm glad you have stopped sending us birds as presents, that doesn't mean you have to change to sending us eight maids and their cows for them to milk! They behave in a most uncouth way - my Mother was scandalised when she heard the songs they were singing. The birds aren't pleased with the cows in their space. They have taken to defecating (or laying eggs in midair) on the cows, whose own defecations stain the carpets in a most alarming way.
Richard (the Magizoologist) wasn't needed today, but the house-elf had to make multiple trips for food - the maids eat like Weasleys and gulp Firewhiskey like it's going out of fashion. We were forced to drink Butterbeer when the Firewhiskey ran out - the indignity! Mother and Father have even been forced out of their bedroom by the savages. Father had to throw away his favourite pair of snakeskin shoes when he stepped in cow defecate (thanks for continuing to charm them to ensure the droppings and other waste cannot be Vanished).
Draco.