With big thanks to my new beta Frannie1987, I offer you the next chapter.
Chapter Nineteen:
The Cupcakes and the Golden Goose
The first bake sale happened in the cafeteria after school in place of Glee. Despite classes having finished for the day it was still busy, thanks to all the sports and extra-curricular clubs McKinley offered its student body.
Not that anybody was coming anywhere near their table. Quinn wasn't impressed. She'd spent time making these cupcakes. A lot of time seeing as how she'd had to start again from scratch after her first attempt had ended up all over Rachel. Finn had stayed to help, probably scared that Rachel would pop back in if he didn't, but his help had mostly consisted of eating more of the red frosting than he'd smeared on top of the cakes and then licking all of the bowls clean. He had also questioned her incessantly about Rachel's presence whilst steadfastly refusing to answer her questions about whether or not he had been looking for work the night before.
All in all, she was infuriated by the whole thing and being stuck in the wheelchair wasn't improving her mood and neither did Brittany hanging out with that Becky Jolsen or whatever her name was – okay Quinn wasn't captain of the Cheerios any more so maybe it shouldn't matter to her but there was such a thing as standards and Santana should be doing something about it instead of sitting there all pouty because Brittany had a friend who wasn't her.
So when Rachel wheeled up with a beaming smile Quinn wanted nothing more than to grab her hand and roll off into the sunset with her . . . but of course she couldn't do that.
Standards, somebody had to maintain them.
"What are you doing here, Manhands?"
"I've come to help, of course. This is a Glee club endeavour and as a principal member I feel . . ."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Santana cut in, unwittingly doing Quinn's dirty work for her. "Take a look around, Stubbles; do you see any other losers at this table?" Rachel's lips twitched but she held her tongue. "Exactly. We're having enough trouble selling any without you being the face of our product, so scram."
"I really must insist . . ."
"Insist all you want," Quinn said blithely. "You're wearing your gym clothes . . ." And looking cuter in them than anyone had a right to look. ". . . nobody is going to buy a cupcake contaminated by your sweat. Go away."
Rachel glared at her and did a nine-point turn to wheel out of the cafeteria altogether.
Finn chose the wrong time to suggest they put jelly-beans on top of her cupcakes to make them more appetising and she couldn't help tearing into him until he stood, kicked his chair and stormed away.
Rachel couldn't deny that Finn saying he liked her made her go a little fluttery inside. It was nice and he'd been the only one to offer her any help when her wheelchair had refused to go in straight lines any more.
Noah, who had been her boyfriend until just a few days before, had laughed to see her spinning in circles! As had Mercedes and Kurt. Artie had simply told her to figure it out herself because it was all good, character-building experience.
If she had the capacity to hate she . . . wouldn't like them all very much right now. Except Finn, who had turned out to be her knight in shining armour even though he had more reasons to not help her than any of them.
So, yes, she felt guilty about her inward smile when Quinn came in and started yelling that she was going to cut him off if he didn't find the money to pay the sonogram bill. But only a little and she came up with a way to appease that guilt immediately.
More importantly, Quinn had threatened to break up with him if he didn't start helping her! Some people might think it was foolish then that Rachel's first thought was to help Finn get a job, but she knew this was a marathon and not a sprint. Quinn wasn't really going to break up with Finn just like that because she cared about him, obviously, but she did need money right away. Rachel could help her get money and prove to Quinn how resourceful (read: good parent material) she could be at the same time.
It was win, win for her really.
The second bake sale got underway at lunch the next day. Rachel's help had been impolitely declined once again but she refused to leave this time. Instead she hovered in her wheelchair just to the side of the table.
They sold a few today, because it was lunch time and even losers liked cupcakes and they didn't mind buying from other losers, but they'd still only made twelve dollars after the first half an hour.
Rachel couldn't understand it. Why wouldn't anyone want to snap up sugary treats made by Quinn Fabray's fair hands? This batch even had an assortment of colored jelly-beans or, alternatively, glazed cherries on top. They looked delicious!
"Berry, if you're going to sit there getting all gooey-eyed over them you could at least buy one," Noah eventually said and she couldn't think of an idea she liked more.
"Okay." She fished a dollar out of her purse and awkwardly rolled forward with it in her hand. Noah tried to take it but she purposefully handed it to Quinn, who took it with a frown on her face and chuckle in her eyes. "I'll take that one."
She pointed to the one closest to Quinn, the red icing was less than perfect but the glistening red cherry was calling her name.
"Then take it," the blonde was still frowning.
"That's not very good service, Quinn. No wonder nobody wants to buy from you," she said, but leaned over to grab it anyway.
Santana laughed, "Don't criticize her salesmanship, Midget, just because she ain't selling what you want."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Santana, surely you know the key to real salesmanship is to truly get out there and sell it by any means necessary?"
Not waiting for an answer, she caught Quinn's eye again and slowly licked the frosting from one side of the cupcake. Quinn's left eye twitched. Rachel did the same on the other side, catching the red icing on the tip of her tongue before pulling it into her mouth. Both of Quinn's eyes blew wide now and she had to fight really hard not to smirk as she savored the sweetness in her mouth before swallowing it.
She hadn't really noticed that anyone else had caught on to her blatant display until delicately licking the cherry proved to be a step too far, because as Quinn blushed bright pink Santana hooted, "She totally wants to take your cherry with her tongue, Q! This is too awesome!"
Mortified, Quinn stood up from her wheelchair, reached across the table and smooshed the rest of the cupcake into her face. Satisfied only once the shiny red cherry was wedged in her left nostril, Quinn sat back down and calmly dusted off her hands with a paper napkin.
"No sale, Berry. Find someone else to get your rocks off to."
Rachel wheeled away scattering crumbs and dripping frosting, and counting that as a success.
Quinn: You are BANNED from the bake sale from now on!
Rachel: I object!
Quinn: You can object all you want. If you come within TEN FEET of that table again I won't be held accountable for my actions.
Rachel: :D
Quinn: Rachel!
Quinn: Do you have any idea how stupid that was? You can't just act like that. It's not okay.
Rachel: Act like what, Quinn? I was just savoring my cupcake.
Quinn: You were not! You were being all
Quinn: Suggestive and stuff.
Rachel: Are you blushing right now? ;)
Rachel: I'm going to take your refusal to answer as a yes.
Quinn: Just don't do it ever again! What if someone had, what am I saying, they did see, all of them!
Rachel: Yes, Quinn, they saw me make an inappropriate pass at you, and then they saw you reject my advances and tell me to get lost. All in all, they simply saw evidence of what we've been trying to convince them of. I'm not sure why you think that's a bad thing.
Several minutes later.
Quinn: What if they'd seen through me?
Rachel: Unless they had direct access to your underwear I'm not sure how they could have.
Quinn: Rachel!
Rachel: LOL
Quinn: I'm going now! Ten feet, Rachel, I mean it!
Rachel: Okay. Goodnight, Quinn. :)
Quinn: Goodnight, you evil little Gnome x
The following day, Rachel dutifully didn't approach the bake sale table. It wouldn't do her master plan any good to really upset Quinn so she was going to save her next seduction tactic until she was able to get her alone.
She had more important things to worry about than Artie's transport today anyway. Her competition with Kurt was in just a few hours and she spent most of the lunch hour in the auditorium practising. She wasn't especially nervous about the performance itself, she knew she could sing Defying Gravity better than Kurt, but she was still convinced that despite the lacklustre agreement to vote on talent alone it was going to turn into a popularity contest and, well at best she'd have only two people on her side.
She did poke her head through the cafeteria doors towards the end of lunch though, just to see how they were getting on and . . it was just as well she wasn't allowed to approach because she wouldn't have been able to squeeze in anywhere anyway.
They were swamped!
People were buying them faster than Noah could take the money – they were letting him take the money? That didn't seem the wisest idea – and Finn, Santana and Quinn were laughing and joking around as they doled them out in a way they certainly hadn't been the rest of the week. It gave her a little pang of disappointment that she couldn't be over there with them, but even if she hadn't pulled her little stunt yesterday she still never would have been included. This was Quinn in her element, holding the school in the palm of her hand again with her friends by her side, even if the school was only eating out of her palm because there was a cupcake in it.
It made the pang bigger, because this was what she wanted. To be in Quinn's life and enjoy moments like this with her. She'd give anything to be sitting in Santana's place right now, or better yet, Finn's as he gave her another napkin to wipe frosting from her fingers and leaned closer to say something that even Noah right beside them couldn't hear, something that made Quinn roll her eyes but laugh and use said napkin to wipe some crumbs from his cheek.
It was too much and she had to stop thinking about it. There were more important things to focus on, remember? The diva-off should be her top priority. She was about to leave, so that she could concentrate on that and not the way Quinn was giggling with Santana over something – because in some ways that was even worse – but her eyes made a final sweep of the room first and something she noticed stopped her exit.
She wasn't entirely sure what she was noticing at first. Nearly everyone in the large room was eating a cupcake, some had two or three amassed before them, barely finishing chewing the first before starting on the next. Cooked and cold lunches were pushed aside and forgotten in favor of sugary indulgence and everywhere Rachel looked lips and chins were sticky with red frosting and speckled with creamy crumbs. Everyone was talking too, often with their mouth's full which was gross but not particularly unusual for the McKinley cafeteria at lunch time unfortunately, but everyone was really talking. It was . . . the entire room was a big bubble of sound as conversations overlapped and became louder and louder, laughter was threading its way through every discussion, deep chuckles, high pitched giggling and more than the occasional shriek of amusement buffeted Rachel where she stood. It was more than that though, it was . . .
She watched as a red-headed Freshman realized he was down to his last bite of cake and immediately turned back to the bake sale table as he pulled a dollar from his pocket, apparently having forgotten he still held another whole cake in his other hand.
That wasn't normal.
Neither was the bonhomie currently uniting the room usually full of judgemental and often downright cruel students. The talking, the laughing, it was crossing the normally set in stone divides. Rachel saw Azimo Adams swipe one of Artie's cupcakes – not so unusual – and then laugh, high-five him and hand over a dollar bill. On the other side of the room, Kassie – bitch extraordinaire – was sitting at the same table as Brittany, Becky Jackson, Suzie Pepper and Tina, gossiping away like they'd all been best friends forever.
What . . . the . . . heck!
The first bell signalling the end of lunch rang right above where she was standing and Rachel nearly jumped out of her skin, but nobody else seemed to even hear it. Where there would usually be a flurry of chairs scraping back and people queuing to take their plates to the tray return, there was just more talking, laughing, lounging around . . .
Except for at the bake sale table where they were packing up the empty plates and getting ready to leave. Quinn caught her eye as she stood up and gave her a tiny smile but Rachel's eyes were narrowing on Noah as he stuffed another handful of notes into the change box and then left quickly with it.
She didn't know what was going on, but she knew he was at the bottom of it and she would find out, but later, because right now she had to go and try and pay attention to two more lessons while panicking about kicking Kurt's butt in the diva-off.
The Defying Gravity competition had been giving her heartburn all week. Okay, so maybe some of it might have been the baby (and the bake sale) but mostly she was worried about Rachel.
She liked Kurt well enough. His snarky attitude appealed to her even if she didn't appreciate when it was aimed at her and hypothetically she saw no problem with him singing this song even if he was a boy. But he was going up against Rachel which automatically made him the enemy.
She could tell Rachel was nervous the moment she walked in the door and in a weird sort of way she was pleased that Finn left her side immediately to go and offer her some words of encouragement. She'd still give him hell for it later obviously, but yeah it made her feel better that someone was openly on Rachel's side, even if it did have to be her boyfriend.
She noticed Mike giving her a thumbs up too as he took his seat but she had to settle for a quick smile from across the room. It was the only gesture Rachel really responded to, giving her an equally fleeting smile back.
And then they were ready to go and Quinn could only sit back and act neutral.
She'd won!
And she'd won fair and square!
Kurt's voice had completely broken on the high F like he was going through puberty all over again and she'd been surprised to say the least. She'd always known she would be better, but she hadn't expected it to be so easy. Kurt must have practiced, he must have known he could do it or why would he put himself forward? Maybe the pressure had gotten to him. If so it was just as well they'd found out now because they would have been a laughing stock if he'd cracked like that at Sectionals! She did feel a little bad for him; he'd made such a show of wanting this solo – his dad had even come down to the school to insist he got a fair chance – and so to blow it like that in front of everyone must feel awful.
It was very good, however, for her, because now nobody could dispute that she was the right person to sing the song. And while her applause may have been even more muted than Kurt's the votes had gone in her favor. At the end of the day, people wanted to win, and Kurt wasn't that much more popular than she was when it came right down to it.
As always, she was the last to leave the Choir room and she hummed Defying Gravity to herself as she took her time packing up her belongings.
She was just pushing her Glee folder into her bag when she heard a key turn in the door behind her. It alarmed her for a second; thinking that a janitor had accidentally locked her in. But after spinning to face the door she relaxed into a smile.
"I only have a few minutes."
Rachel nodded.
"Santana and Brittany are dragging me to Breadstix again."
Rachel nodded.
"But I thought you might like someone to celebrate with, really quickly."
Rachel nodded.
"So . . ."
"Celebrate how?" she finally asked, smiling.
"Well, jumping up and down is out, because it makes the baby bounce on my bladder, but maybe you can talk incessantly for two minutes and I can listen?"
"For once, I don't feel like talking," she said, still smiling as she closed some of the distance between them.
"Come here." Quinn met her halfway, arms circling her waist as soon as she was close enough. "You were awesome," she promised, squeezing her tight. "You were so good. I don't even know why I was worried."
Rachel pulled back to glare at her. "You were worried I wouldn't be good enough?"
Quinn grinned, "I always knew you'd be excellent, I just didn't know how good Kurt might be."
Rachel frowned. "I thought he'd be better. Not that I'm not pleased that he wasn't, obviously, but he has a good range. I'm surprised he didn't nail it."
"Santana thinks his balls must have finally dropped from all the pressure."
"Quinn!"
The ex-cheerleader laughed, "I'm just repeating what Santana said. Personally I think you were just so darn good that he lost his nerve. He botched the note on purpose so that he could feel better when you inevitably won."
She shook her head, "If he'd hit the high F as perfectly as I did, he would have won."
"Are you kidding. I don't know who sang it originally, but I'll put money on the fact that you were better than them!"
Rachel unhooked her arms from around Quinn's neck to put her hands on her hips. "Seriously? Have you never heard the Wicked! soundtrack? Why do I even like you? I mean, really, how can you . . ."
"I'll download it tonight," Quinn promised, cutting her off. "But I can guarantee you now, you're better."
She smiled bashfully, arms curling around Quinn's neck again. "Oh yeah, that's why I like you."
"I have to go," Quinn softly reminded her.
"Okay."
"That means you have to let go, Rachel."
"Oh, right." Her hands slid to Quinn's shoulders. "Can I at least have a celebratory kiss?"
"I don't think that's really . . ."
Rachel rocked up on her toes to press her lips to Quinn's.
". . . appropriate."
Rachel did it again, because goodness knows Quinn's lips were moreish. Quinn's arms went around her back once more, keeping her on tiptoes as their lips met in a series of tiny, chaste kisses.
Too soon she made the mistake of pushing her hand into Quinn's hair and slanting her mouth to open up their kisses and Quinn pulled away.
"No. I have to go."
"But . . ."
"Rachel." Quinn placed one last kiss on her forehead and then stepped away completely. "You broke up with me, remember? But congratulations, okay? You deserved the win."
"I think I deserve a lot more than that," she pouted.
Quinn chuckled, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Facebook, later?" she called out when Quinn was already unlocking the door.
The blonde looked over her shoulder but her face was neutral now. "I don't know. Maybe."
And then Rachel was staring at the door closing behind her, wondering how it was fair that Quinn could come in and toy with her emotions like that and then leave again without giving her anything solid to build on.
There was only one answer: it wasn't fair.
And because deep down she wanted to keep letting her, there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.
When Friday recess rolled around – and that was an apt way of putting it – Rachel and Finn left school grounds, with a note from Miss. Pilsbury giving them permission, to go and get the boy a job.
Rachel had researched a lot over the previous two evenings and had narrowed down her targets to the three companies most likely to be susceptible to her charms and they got lucky on the second one.
Providing Finn didn't forget himself and leap out of his wheelchair to scratch his butt or something equally stupid, he now had a job at Lima's premiere funeral home greeting prospective clients – or the client's recently bereaved loved ones anyway.
Quinn didn't even know why she still got weak in the knees when Puck looked at her this way.
Did it mean she wasn't gay after all? Because that would be a really good thing.
She felt a ridiculous need to test it though, even as Puck was giving her puppy eyes that kind of made her want to marry him on the spot.
The test: Puck doing her versus, um . . . Rachel smiling at her.
Yeah, there was really no contest, she was team: Rachel all the way.
But that didn't change the fact that Puck could and was right now also making her feel things. She hated that he was such an ass in general because if he wasn't – and if she wasn't so damn gay for Rachel – he'd be almost perfect for her.
She told him as much when she apologised for calling him a Lima Loser and, God, did she need the money he was offering but no, it wasn't right to take it and she loved him a little bit more when the light in his eyes agreed with her even if he couldn't make himself say it out loud.
Finn rolled up before they could talk about it any further and Quinn was both happy for the interruption and a little upset that she had to leave a moment that felt more real than any that she'd had with Finn recently.
She had to fix that.
Rachel had been lurking in the shadows for five minutes.
Okay, not actual shadows so much as the doorway to the Astronomy classroom across the hall from Quinn's locker. And she hadn't actually meant to lurk at all.
She'd just arrived back at school with Finn and he'd gone in search of Quinn while she'd gone in search of Noah, determined to find out how he had caused the peaceful cupcake riot the day before. She hadn't expected to find the two of them together and had ducked into this doorway as soon as she had.
There were too many other students around to hear the whole conversation but she caught snatches of it and the body language was loud and clear. Even louder and clearer than that was Noah trying to hand over a wad of cash that Quinn refused.
Was that the bake sale money? And if so, and it was legitimate, why was Quinn refusing it?
Quinn's hand was on his chest now and he was smiling down at her while still looking like his puppy had been kicked to death. Just what was happening here? It appeared to be a moment much too intimate for the school halls and yet Quinn barely gave him the time of day under usual circumstances.
Was this about the fight he'd had with Finn the day before? She'd heard about it the same way everyone else had but Finn had also mentioned on their job hunting mission what a 'jackass' Puck was and how he didn't understand anything Finn was really going through. Rachel had agreed wholeheartedly at the time because while she knew details of the situation that Finn didn't - like the fact that Noah had strong feelings for Quinn too - that didn't give the delinquent the right to act out his jealousy through his fists. You didn't see her going over there and punching him on the nose for looking at Quinn with those devastatingly dreamy eyes. Honestly, it was a wonder little love hearts didn't start oozing from their pores with how cosy they looked together.
And then, enter her knight in shining armour, stage left. Finn rolled up to speak to them, but he didn't catch what Rachel did: Noah hurriedly pushing the wad of cash down the front of his jeans – she had to remember not to touch any of the bake sale money! After less than a minute Quinn took a seat on his lap and together they rolled away into the sunset – or to fourth period at any rate.
Noah was left frowning after them and Rachel actually made him jump when she stormed up and shoved a finger in his chest.
He irritably pushed her hand away. "What do you want?"
"I want answers, Noah Puckerman."
"It's none of your business, Berry," he said gruffly, turning to leave.
"Oh. And is it none of Mr. Schuester's business either? Or Principal Figgins?" She had to really work her legs to keep up with him. "Or is it police business perhaps?"
That got his attention and he swung back around to face her. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"The cupcakes, Noah!"
He looked like he didn't understand for a moment, too caught up in other thoughts, and then he smiled. "Oh, them. Yeah, we made a killing today. Sold nearly a hundred of them. Woulda sold more if we hadn't run out. I say we put the price up now everyone knows how good Nana Connie's recipe is. What do you think? Five dollars too much?"
She levelled him with a no nonsense glare, "And what exactly is in Nana Connie's recipe, Noah?"
"I don't know, eggs and butter and shit?"
"And?"
He laughed at her, "I don't know what you're talking about. I've got to get to class."
Okay, now she definitely knew something was amiss.
She waited until his back was turned before suggesting, "I'd leave the first purchase at a dollar; every good drug dealer knows the importance of hooking new clientele with low prices. And then you can raise it as much as you want once you have them hooked."
And again she had his undivided attention. He was on her in a second, forcing her back against a locker with his sheer presence as he made a shushing gesture with a finger against his lips.
"Keep your mouth down. What do you know?"
"Only what I witnessed in the cafeteria yesterday and what your reaction just told me." She stared up at him defiantly, and perhaps a little smugly. "An unnecessary reaction might I add, seeing as we are completely alone."
He looked around to verify that and relaxed. "It's just a little pot to help sales. There's hardly even any in them, so don't go getting your panties in a twist about health risks and shit, okay?"
She nodded, having assumed as such. She'd heard of a few students getting detention for dozing off in class, but not of any fatalities.
"You know its not only illegal, it's immoral."
"How moral is it that Figgins won't cough up for us all to ride the special bus to Sectionals?"
They were hardly the same thing, but she wasn't really that bothered if the students of McKinley got high on Puckerman's dime, as long as he was being truthful about the amount he was putting in. It was probably a little petty to hope that Kassie ate so many of them that she became fat overnight but Rachel had to admit that yesterday afternoon had been wonderful for her – not a single confrontation in the halls, no name calling or 'accidental' trips. Everyone had been too busy sucking on their slushies to re-hydrated their mouths to waste any on her. Santana had even held the door open for her as they left sixth period – or perhaps she'd just been trying to nap against it!
Either way, the boy could sell his spiked cupcakes every day of the year as far as she was concerned, but she didn't intend to inform him of that and lose whatever leverage it might offer.
"I'm not sure I can condone such behavior, Noah."
"It's just one more day, and we're making the money we need, Berry, so what's the big deal. Besides, I already made, like, three hundred cupcakes last night so we wouldn't run out again. I ain't letting all that hard work go to waste."
He looked proud of himself and, actually, Rachel was too. After her first batch of cookie dough had ended up over Quinn, well mostly over her really, she hadn't attempted to make any more. And yet Noah had made four hundred give or take in a seventy-two hour period. It was extremely industrious of him, and strange, because she hadn't realized he and Artie were so close. They certainly didn't act like they were.
But then neither did she and Quinn.
How many clandestine friendships were there in Glee Club?
"What are you smirking about?"
"Oh, nothing. So, Noah, I'm sure you are perfectly aware of my new hobby that is centered around my love of. . . blackmail?"
Now he was smirking, "Yeah, you got Quinn to touch your tits by saying you'd tell everyone she was pregnant." Rachel's eyes bugged because she definitely hadn't started that rumor. "Which kind of makes you a totally hot, stone-cold bitch, and I'm down with that."
"Um, ayway, if you don't tell me what you and Quinn were talking about just before, I'll go to Principal Figgins with Nana Connie's secret recipe."
His cockiness left him in an instant but she didn't think it was because of her threat. "We were just talking about the bake sale. Whether or not we should have two tables next time so we don't get so swamped."
"I don't believe you."
He shrugged. "It's the truth; don't really care if you believe me or not. Now, you may not be aware of this, but I can do blackmail too. You breathe a word about what's in my cupcakes and I'll tell Quinn I saw a bunch of naked photos of her when I was in your room last week."
"How would I even have naked photos of Quinn?"
"Yeah, she might bother to ask that before she kicks your ass."
It was a ridiculous accusation because Quinn had been in her bedroom more times than him and had already found all of her little secrets – the yearbook photos, the pro and con list – but she knew she had to look worried in front of him, to keep up the act.
"But . . . but . . . why would she believe you?"
"You're public enemy number one on Quinn's shit list right now, Rachel," he actually sounded a little sympathetic. If she and Quinn had still been together it would have made her laugh, but they weren't and so she appreciated his sympathy, even if it was based on lies. "She's just looking for an excuse to make you pay."
"Fine, I'll keep your secret, for now, but I know you and Quinn weren't talking about the bake sale and when I find out the truth about that the blackmail will once again be on the other foot, Noah Puckerman."
"Whatever. You're just jealous 'cause Quinn talks to me and don't wanna speak to you." He grinned, "Hey, no hard feelings. I'll give you a cupcake on the house at lunch, make you feel better."
"I don't need narcotics to feel better, but thank you for the offer."
Rachel didn't make it to the cafeteria for lunch because Mrs. Wyde asked for her help in organising a Senior Debate. It was interesting, the subject being Animal Rights versus Conservation in America's zoos, and she was getting so involved with it she forgot to press the buzzer a few times, but when her cell phone beeped with a text from Finn she politely excused herself. Glee Club came first after all.
She met with the others in the auditorium and clapped (while wrinkling her nose) as Noah handed over an even larger wad of cash to Artie.
They had made enough for the specially equipped bus and then some and everyone was in great spirits, even though Artie said he'd rather give the money to the school, which really hadn't been the point of all of that effort but whatever.
They were dispersing for afternoon classes when Noah suggested, "One more sale, after school. We've still got, like, sixty cupcakes left, might as well make some more cash. We can use it for, I don't know, costumes or something."
Nobody disagreed; Mr. Schue even clapped him on the back for his motivation.
Rachel just rolled her eyes, the 'costume money' would probably end up in his own pocket to cover his expenses, but either way she was going to be at this one. She wanted to get at least one Glee bonding experience out of this.
Quinn didn't know why they were still selling these. They had the money they needed and should probably just give the leftovers to charity or something, but here she was, once again sitting between Puck and Finn – more awkward than ever since their fight – selling yet more of the darn cakes.
Just like at lunch they'd pulled two tables together so it wasn't so overwhelming when the kids started swarming and now Brittany, Mike, Matt and Rachel had joined them to help.
Although Rachel wasn't actually helping because Santana had told her no one would buy from a troll, but she was still hanging around just to the side of Mike's chair on the end. She'd taken it upon herself to hand out napkins to the buyers and looked so excited to be joining in that Quinn didn't have the heart to tell her to scram.
Providing she didn't start licking anything inappropriately she wasn't doing any harm.
To use a tired cliché they were selling cupcakes like hot cakes, even though school was out for the weekend and the Titan's were playing an away game that night. People were hanging around just to buy them. Were they really that good? She hadn't tried one yet, because they were supposed to be selling them, but as the rush finally ebbed and there were still, like, twenty cakes left . . .
She picked one up and studied it. It didn't look any different to the ones she'd made, which hadn't sold at all! She licked some of the red frosting from the top, smiling at the sweetness as she sucked it off of her tongue and crunched some of the sprinkles between her teeth – it had been so long since she'd let herself enjoy a cupcake. Pregnancy was awesome!
She was just about to bite into it and see what all the fuss was about when . . . it was gone.
"Hey, what the hell? Berry, get your hands off of my cupcake!"
"I bet that's the first time she's ever said that."
"Oh, Mike; snap!" Santana laughed, leaning down the table with her hand up. Grinning, he gave it a perfunctionary slap.
It was hard to act cocky when he knew things about her that nobody else did, but it wasn't hard at all to pick up another of the cupcakes and throw it right at his stupid, grinning face.
As crumbs flew everywhere on impact, Rachel reprimanded her, "That wasn't very nice, Quinn." A second cupcake bounced off of Rachel's head. "For Heaven's sake."
"You're paying for those," Puck said beside her.
And whatever. It had been worth it to see the looks on their faces, Rachel's especially. That girl could do startled like no one else. She took two dollars out of her purse and shoved them into the tin and then pushed a third in on top, because she actually really wanted a cupcake now. She'd had a meaningless salad at lunch and the frosting just now had gone to her head.
She picked the plumpest looking cake out of what was left and eyed it lovingly for a moment before opening her mouth to take a bite and . . .
What the freaking hell! "Berry!"
"I thought you bought it for me."
"Why would I buy anything for you?"
Rachel thought fast. "Wishful thinking?"
What game was she playing here? She would understand it more if she thought it was Rachel's way of trying to get back with her, because she wanted to do things daily to win Rachel back, but how was stealing her cupcakes likely to achieve that?
"Yeah, well you can wishful think all you want. Give me back my cake."
"No."
"What do you mean no? Give it. You're not even eating it!"
"Yes I am," she insisted, even though she was looking at the cupcake like it was more likely about to take a bite out of her.
"No you're not!"
"I am!" Why was she glaring at Puck all of sudden?
"You're not!" Leaning across she made a snatch for it.
"I amph!" Rachel said, her voice muffled by a large bite of fluffy sponge cake. "Phsee?"
"Fine, whatever." Shaking her head, Quinn stuck another dollar in the tin and picked up a different one.
She almost had it to her mouth when Puck slapped it out of her hand.
"There was a fly on it," was his explanation as he picked it from the table and threw it in the trash can behind them.
She hadn't seen a fly!
"Guys, football meet, right now," Coach Tanaka slapped a hand on the table as he ambled by. "You can get back to your fairy cakes tomorrow."
Finn kissed her cheek as he stood up and left with Puck, Mike and Matt. She didn't miss the look Puck gave Rachel as he stood up from the table, she just didn't understand it.
Rachel had finished her stolen cupcake now and was brushing the crumbs from her lips with a napkin. Quinn did the only sensible thing and ignored her, choosing another for herself.
It was going to be so worth the wait. So moist and . . ."
"What the . . .? I will freaking end you!"
"Why?" Rachel asked innocently around a mouthful of the new cupcake she'd just swiped from her hands.
That hadn't been the best idea because . . . because . . . because . . . what had she been, um, doing. That thing with your brain you do, about? She couldn't remember, but the chairs needed to stop dancing around. They weren't even in time! It was one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-trees . . . trees . . . trees? It didn't make even any sense. Rachel shook her head, trying to clear it. How did she get in the . . . the room, with the chairs, not trees, and people, her people, her Quinn people.
Quinn!
She was right there and the only solid point in the fuzz. If she could just get to Quinn everything would be okay.
But she was, like, so far away!
Rachel looked at the floor between them, all one thousand miles of it, and despaired.
"Quinn!" she yelled across the abyss.
Quinn winced, "Keep you voice down!"
Wow, the acoustics really were very good in the Choir room, it sounded like Quinn was right in front of her.
"Sorry!" she whispered, really loudly, hoping that would carry over the gulf between them too.
Quinn must have heard because she sort of smiled and then turned to the door as Santana and Brittany came through. Wow, the door was really big. How did it get that big? Rachel dropped to her knees because that door was just too big to handle on her feet. What if it crushed her?
"She okay yet?" Santana asked, laughing as she came closer, and that was too big too, so Rachel ducked down even further.
"No!" Ah, Quinn's voice. At its most stringent it was still so comforting. "What the hell is wrong with her?"
"She's stoned, Q. Puck put pot in those cupcakes."
"They're awesome. They make Santana really friendly."
Oh, hey Brittany; Rachel tried to wave but her hand just sort of dangled in front of her instead. She really needed to lay down.
"He put what in them? For crying out loud!" Yay, Quinn was looking at her. "RuPaul, are you okay?"
"Don't call me that. I don't have a thing."
"That's what you say."
Rachel glared into Quinn's eyes for hours without a response before she realized she was staring down a couple of buttons on her dress instead. Jerking her eyes up she met Brittany's – concerned – Santana's – laughing – and then Quinn's eyes – indifferent.
"I'm . . . sorry?" The gigantic door opened again before anyone could absolve her and Noah came in. "Is it just me or does he have the most perfect Brazilian on his head?"
She jumped when Santana slapped an empty chair as she doubled over laughing.
"I don't get it," Brittany said.
Quinn was probably rolling her eyes, "It's a pubic hair joke, Britt. Berry's kind of obsessed with it, but it's so not funny."
Rachel thought it was, so when Santana just laughed harder she joined in.
"Everything okay in here, ladies?"
"You!" She pointed at him. Everyone looked at her and she had no follow up. "I want another cupcake!"
She was mostly ignored, but Brittany did dig into her bag and produce a squashed Twinkie. Rachel grabbed it eagerly and ripped it open as the conversation went on around her.
"You got her stoned, you asshole!" Quinn was so sexy when she was mad.
"No, I didn't! Berry knew what was in them. She got herself stoned!" Noah – no Puck – no Noah was so sexy when he was right.
"So Berry knew what was in them but ate a bunch anyway? Why?" Santana was so sexy when she was confused.
"Obviously because she didn't want Quinn to eat them. She was protecting the baby from getting high." Brittany was so sexy when she was just . . . Brittany.
"Hey, remove your troll paws or I will personally cut them off!"
"Huh?"
Oh, oops. She snatched her hands from where they were resting on Brittany's knees and looked around for Quinn again. Quinn made everything better. She caught Puckerno's eye first.
"I have not said a word," she promised solemnly and waved an arm around to prove her point. "But if you don't believe me . . . I'm . . . I can think of worse things."
Noahman smirked at her and turned to Quinn . . . and here it came, utter humiliation, that wasn't true and Quinn would know that but Santana and Brittany wouldn't and Rachel just really wanted to know how Quinn would react to the accusation in front of them.
"She's fucked."
"I know. You're an asshole!"
"I ain't, she knew what was in them! Why did she eat so many anyway?"
"She was trying to stop me from eating any. Every time I picked one up, she snatched it away."
"How many did you pick up?!"
"Well, after the first four it kind of got funny; I wanted to see how many she'd eat. I didn't know they had stuff in them!"
She'd listened to the conversation like it was coming through a long tube but now Noah-Puck was right in front of her, gripping her arms in his large hands.
"How many cupcakes did you eat, Berry?"
"Uh." Her eyes rolled from his to Quinn and then the other way to Santana and Brittany, until he shook her lightly. "Seven. I think. I think, Seven. Is that bad?"
"Shit!"
"Is that too many? Am I going to die? I can't die? You know Broadway needs me! And my Dads will be so disappointed. And," she put a hand over her face to hold back a sob, "I have a Biology test Monday! I've already studied for it! I can't die!"
"You're not going to fucking die, you idiot."
"How do you know?" she shouted at Santana. Yeah, shouted, so she was must have been high.
"Rachel, you're fine," Noah said in his most soothing tone.
She slapped both hands against his chest so hard that he actually stumbled back. "Leave me alone!"
She squatted there, hunched in on herself, trembling slightly, just wanting everyone to go away.
Brittany broke the long silence and all she said was, "Q?"
"Yeah, okay. Puck, how long until this wears off?"
"I don't know. A couple of cupcakes, I'd say an hour, but seven?"
"We should take her home," Santana said, and it was probably the nicest thing she'd ever said about her.
"We can't take her home like this," Quinn said, and Rachel nodded, with effort. She'd rather be left here than have her dads see her like this.
"I'd take her back to mine but my uncle is staying and he's more of a sleaze than me," Noah (possibly) said with a chuckle.
"She's not coming back to mine. I already get an allergic reaction anytime I'm near her; I don't want that transferring to my house."
Rachel figured she'd be offended if the floor wasn't looking so comfortable. She happily sank back down to it.
"She can come to . . ." Brittany began.
Quinn spoke quickly over her. "Fine, we'll take her to mine. My parents are visiting my sister over night so they won't be there."
"Okay. Problem solved, " said Santana. "You two have fun."
"No way! I'm not looking after her alone! You two have to come over too."
"Yay, sleepover!" That was Brittany.
"Why? She's not our problem." That was Santana.
"She's not mine either, but, come on, help me out here. Worst case scenario we have a girls night with Stubbles snoring in the background."
There was a long silence. A looong silence. Long enough for Rachel to discover there was no comfortable position on the choir room floor. So she sat up again.
"So are we going back to Quinn's or should I take my chances with Puckanoah and his sleazy uncle?"
"I know what gets my vote," the boy laughed.
"It's up to Santana and Brittany," Quinn said, not looking at her. "I don't trust you coming back to mine without Santana as a chaperone."
Maybe she was telling the truth, maybe it was all part of the act; either way it got Santana on board.
"Okay, fine. I'll stay over if Britt wants to."
"I do!"
"Alright, up you get, Stubbles."
Rachel looked up. "Where are we going?"
"The ninth circle of hell, you coming with us or not?"
She didn't have much choice in the matter when Santana dragged her up by the back of her sweater. Noah's phone rang while she was still trying to orientate her feet and he covered the mouthpiece to say to Quinn,
"It's Finn. He's on his way here."
"He can't . . ."
"Well, he is."
Why was Quinn so worried about Finn coming to join them? He was her boyfriend, she loved him, they were having babies together . . . "Finn sucks!"
Santana was laughing at her. "What was that, Berry?"
"Finn already thinks Berry likes me."
"She does," Brittany said.
"I do," Rachel agreed, making Santana laugh again.
Quinn rolled her eyes at all of them and focused on Noah again. "He's going to get the wrong idea if he finds out I'm taking her back to mine!"
Rachel saw him nod and then he uncovered the mouth piece. "Yeah, we're in the Choir room. See you in a minute." He was reeling off instructions before he'd even slipped his phone into his pocket. "Santana, don't be an ass about this and I'll take you to Breadstix next week for the All You Can Eat Buffet. You two get Berry out of sight. Quinn, just be cool."
"Waghhhh!" Was the sound Rachel made as she was grabbed by both arms and dragged backwards until she was completely out of sight behind the band equipment.
"Please don't hurt me!"
"Shut up!"
She did, except for her heart beat. Was it always this loud? She didn't know how to make it quiet enough so that Finn wouldn't hear it and her anxiety over that made her "Eek!" when he entered the room. Santana slapped a hand over her mouth just in time; it hurt but Rachel made a mental note to send her fruit basket later.
"Hey, the game was cancelled tonight and so as you obviously don't have Cheerios, I was thinking we could do something together. A date. To celebrate me getting a job. What do you think?"
"I can't. I have plans. With Santana and Brittany. " Quinn was as cool as a cucumber.
Mmm, cucumber.
"I'm hungry," she whispered.
"Shhh," Santana hissed, poking her in the side.
"Okay, well what about after that?" She could hear Finn's hopeful grin. "It is Friday night after all."
"We're having a sleepover, Finn. That means all night."
"Oh. Yeah, okay."
"We can do something tomorrow though."
Rachel didn't want to hear that and so she distracted herself.
"Hey, where are you going?" Santana hissed under her breath, catching her arm so that she couldn't crawl too far.
"I just want to . . ." She wriggled around until she could see what was going on between the big round base drum and one of the little hanging Tom's. Why were they called Tom's? It seemed rather informal. Did the caveman who invented the drum kit run out of professional sounding names? 'I'll call you the the cymbal, I'll call you the hi-hat, I'll call you the snare drum and I'll call you, um, Tom.' At least the bass drum's name made sense because when you tapped it it made a big booming noise but when you tapped the Tom it didn't make a sound like tom, see, it just . . .
Oops, she hadn't meant to hit Tom out loud and now Finn was turning around to see what had caused the noise.
"Hide and seek, go!"
The whisper made no sense to her but Brittany suddenly popped to her feet, startling Rachel so bad she nearly fell into the drum kit.
"You're not supposed to just stand there talking? Haven't you even played Hide and Seek before? It's no fun hiding if you don't even make the effort to look for me."
"I . . . didn't even know we were playing," Finn sounded both confused and apologetic but more to the point he was good and distracted.
At least she thought he was. It was hard to tell when his face was all the way up there. No wonder they made the doors so big, it was so he could get through them.
"Oh my God," she murmured, because it all made sense now; something did, anyway. "He's so tall. Has he always been that tall?"
Santana rolled her eyes as she murmured, "Well, I agree that his Mom must have had magic beans to grow something that damn big, but with you being a dwarf it's no wonder he looks like a skyscraper to you."
It was like Artie and his ramps; the school had to build new doors to accommodate Finn's vertical disability. Glee could have another bake sale to pay for them! She was so hungry, that Twinkie had been hours ago.
She had an idea, thought it through once for any probable problems, found none and got quietly to her hands and knees.
"Keep watch. I'm going to climb up him and steal some golden eggs," she whispered below the level of Brittany explaining the rules of Hide and Seek to Finn in great detail. "I know I don't normally eat animal products, being an aspiring vegan and all, but I think you must agree that any goose that can lay gold eggs must already have an extremely good standard of living and I'm not entirely sure how eggs made of a precious metal could be fertilized anyway . . . and besides, I believe I am currently experiencing the munchies and I would move Heaven and Earth to get my hands on some food right now, so scaling that giant Finnstalk will be a piece of cake." She groaned at the very idea of it, "Mmm, cake, lots of delicious, fluffy, creamy cake."
Santana was too busy trying to keep her helpless laughter silent to think about stopping her and Brittany was still too busy with her first distraction to offer a second and so it was left to Rachel herself to hold a finger to her lips when Quinn's eyes went wide at seeing her crawling furtively around the drum kit to make her way to the back of Finn's legs.
She was right behind him, if he stepped back he'd fall over her, and Quinn was pulling adorable faces at her while trying to encourage Finn out of the room but he was still caught up in conversation with Brittany.
Now, would his back pocket be the best place to get a decent grip or would his belt be sturdier? She didn't want to risk falling. When she got to his shoulders it would be a very long way back to earth.
And then a lot of things happened too fast for her to follow.
Something grabbed her ankles, tipping her onto her hands and making her squeal and Pucker Noahman shouted "Hey!" for no reason and Brittany slapped Finn on the side of the head and shouted, "Tag, your it!" which made no sense because weren't they playing Hide and Seek? And Quinn jumped into his arms and kissed him and all the while Rachel was being forced to run backwards on her hands as some monster, or possibly an irate golden goose, was dragging her back behind the drum kit.
It was all just too much and Rachel was actually quite happy when the Choir room floor turned all swirly and then everything went black.