Disclaimer: I don't own any characters blah blah blah owned by JK Rowling blah blah blah don't sue me.
Summary: Draco is used to getting Christmas presents. His girlfriend gets him the best presents. This year, her presents are a bit… odd? Or at the least, likely to annoy his parents.
Characters acting slightly OOC (Out Of Character), implied Dramione.
(Wizarding) Christmas Countdown
Day 12 (December 25th)
HERMIONE,
YOU HAVE RUINED US! MOTHER HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP SINCE THE NIGHT AFTER YOU SENT US THE SEVEN SWANS, AND TODAY'S TWELVE DRUMMERS THAT WON'T STOP DRUMMING HAVE GIVEN HER A MIGRAINE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS! THE COWS CHARGED AT AND TRAMPLED UNDERFOOT THE ELEVEN PIPERS, KILLING SOME OF THEM! WE HAD TO DRAG THEIR BODIES INTO A HASTILY DUG GRAVE!
THEN ONE OF THE TWELVE DRUMMERS ACCIDENTALLY HIT ONE OF THE TURTLE DOVES WHEN ITS HEAD GOT IN BETWEEN THE DRUM AND THE DRUMSTICKS, WHICH NECESSITATED ANOTHER BODY BEING FLUNG INTO THE HOLE IN THE GROUND! RICHARD HAPPENED TO WALK IN AT THAT MOMENT, BUT WITH A HEFTY 100 GALLEON BRIBE FROM MOTHER, HE FLOO'D AWAY!
FATHER DELIBERATELY PROVOKED TWO OF THE CALLING BIRDS INTO ATTACKING HIM SO HE COULD TAKE A TRIP INTO ST. MUNGO'S AND GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE, BIRDS AND COWS DROPPINGS, FEATHERS, SNOOTY LORDS, LEAPING LADIES AND THE SQUAWKING BIRDS! HE EVEN TOOK THE FIVE GOLD RINGS WITH HIM! THE HOUSE ELF HAS -
*CRACK!*
What was that? MOTHER, WHY ARE THERE AURORS ON THE GROUNDS? AND WHY IS RICHARD WITH THEM?
What do you mean, grave? We Malfoys have always burned our dead relatives. We never bury them. The thought!
Oh, that. Yes, one of my… friends… thought it would be amusing to send me various animals and groups of people spelled against hexes, curses, transfigurations, jinxes or charms as a Christmas gift. Unfortunately, the cows trampled a group of pipers, and one of the drummers beat a bird to death accidentally, so we had to bury the bodies on the grounds.
Of course we buried them! Haven't I just told you that we can't vanish the bodies? not savages: we pay our respects to the dead.
Oh, it was Father's idea. He was getting a bit fed up with the smell.
What are you doing? I just told you. It was his idea to BURY them. They killed each other.
WHY ARE YOU ARRESTING THEM? IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT! THEY DID NOTHING!
GRANGER, I WILL CURSE YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
WHY ARE YOU TAKING ME WITH THEM?
DRACO LUCIUUS MAAAALFOOOOOOY!
*CRACK!*
Críochnaithe
(A.N: MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you enjoyed reading this and laughed at some parts of it (even if you laughed at his stupid you thought it was).)