Hello, everyone! Here is the eighth chapter of Healing Demons. Please review and enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto only.
SUMMARY: Sakura was a diligent medical student with dreams and aspirations of greatness. Sasuke's dreams had been crushed by a dark past, leaving him broke and depressed. What happened when these two crossed paths and their lives got interwoven together? Modern world AU
The silence of her apartment was a welcome, soothing respite from the draining night she had endured, Sakura mused. She sat cross legged on the soft gray love seat that was situated on the far wall of her small living room. The walls were decorated with memorable pictures from her past; her graduation from high school as salutatorian alongside her parents and her first vacation to the beach with Ino and Hinata. There were also several photos of her entire group of friends the night they watched the fireworks under the blooming cherry blossoms. She still owned the ornate hairpin her parents gave her that night, promising to herself to cherish it dearly. All of them treasured memories with the hopeful desire to add more as the years went on.
Freshly bathed and exfoliated, Sakura relished the peace granted to her while sipping satisfyingly on her steaming hot lavender tea. The heat emanating from the simple white mug kissed her face sweetly and opened up her pores. She narrowed her vision through the steam to the screen of the laptop situated on the glass coffee table that rested at her bare feet.
Sakura required relaxation and needed to de-stress immediately; it was something she constantly tried to remind herself, even as she was an overworked med student. After the night she had, she was determined to focus solely on herself. Reaching for her laptop and relishing in the feel of her fuzzy baby pink carpet between her toes, she placed her half-full mug on a plain coaster and pulled the computer onto her bare lap; she had foregone any restrictive pants and merely donned a simple over sized t-shirt with her university logo splayed across the front. She was proud to wear the circular swirling symbol; to her, it stood for everything she had worked towards over the years and hoped to have finally paid off in the days that came. But, instead of grueling over every unsure moment in limbo waiting for her results, Sakura opted to spend the rest of her night watching movies in soothing solitude.
Sakura reluctantly steered clear of any medical documentaries or romance flicks.
Sighing and beginning her search for the perfect movie to curl up with for the night, Sakura was slightly surprised when her attention was drawn to a notification that appeared on the bottom right of her bright screen. Her breath hitched as she read a singular word in the preview.
Congratulations.
It was exciting, life-altering even, to get her hopes up in that split second, but if she had learned anything recently, it was to quell that hope before it got out of hand and she was immediately proven wrong. Biting her lip tentatively and hitching her bated breath, Sakura placed the pads of her nimble fingers on the mouse to click on the preview banner, bringing her ever closer to the email that would determine her future from that point forward.
Sakura's world immediately froze, ceased spinning on its axis. Feeling welcomed tears welling behind her lightening eyes, Sakura's fingers itched to reach over to her phone and shout the news from the rooftops all over Konoha.
She passed her exam with flying colors; she placed within the top five and continue her endeavor to become Konoha's best doctor under the prestigious and world-famous Tsunade Senju. She would begin her tenure at her new hospital within two weeks from the beginning of the next week.
Giving into the gravitational pull of her desire, Sakura reached to her cell phone sitting on the armrest to her right vigorously. Knowing that her supportive parents were likely dead to the world, tucked comfortably in bed for the night, the next person on her list to share her happiness with was Ino. Heart racing and with an expanding smile, Sakura searched easily through her contacts for her best friend and pushed the call button with almost too much enthusiasm. She placed the call on speaker, knowing wholeheartedly that Ino would certainly be at the other end of the line in a heartbeat.
As if on cue, the ringing ceased and Ino's voice bolstered through the speaker of Sakura's phone.
"Alright, Sakura," Ino sang through the speaker of Sakura's phone, lingering on the final syllable of each word tauntingly as if her lips held onto a secret so juicy it couldn't wait to share it with the world. Sakura groaned inwardly; of course Ino knew why she would call this late. It was damn near impossible to blindside her best friend with anything. But her irritation melted away as quickly as it formed once she realized she was sharing her happiness with Ino. The excitement of the hard work and dedication finally paying off overpowered Sakura's desire to be first at everything. "Soooo...let me guess. You finally checked your email, which you've been cowardly putting off for way too long, and you found out you inevitably got passed your exam, right? Oh! Wait, let me guess again. You're so surprised you actually made it in the top of your class, disregarding all the hours you spent studying rather than letting yourself relax for once. Do tell if I missed anything that would have been said within the first five minutes of this conversation."
"Ino…" Sakura began, bowing her head in anger, willing her temper to simmer down and not boil over as usual. She knew Ino was pushing her buttons; that's what she did in order to push her further out of her comfort zone. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but the immature part that resided in Sakura really wanted to tear her friend a new one. Maybe swing a fist or two. But giving herself a few seconds to breathe and gather her thoughts after Ino's hurricane of a greeting, Sakura sighed and changed the subject. "Well, if you already know why I called, why did you bother answering at all?"
"Aw come on, don't get all sulky on me," Ino chided, letting brightness float into the tone of her voice to lighten the mood. Navigating the direction of the conversation back into a different direction, Ino continued. "Well, at least that means we'll be a dynamic duo of strong, independent working women. If I'm able to get these investors on board for my line, it'll be a step in the right direction for starting my own business. Just picture it, Sakura. You and me, side by side, doctor and business owner. We could build empires."
Sakura's blooming antagonism puffed away in an instant when her laughter tore through her moisturized lips. Maybe Ino was right in her own, tunnel visioned way; they were well on their way to paving their own paths. They were headed in different directions, but that didn't necessarily mean they wouldn't have each other's backs. On the contrary, they would put their best foot forward in their own respective fields and kick ass, take names while carving out time to set aside for each other. It was never explicitly said aloud, but Sakura knew this deep in her chest to be true.
They spent the next hour, or so Sakura thought in the back of her mind, talking about their futures, aspirations, hopes, and dreams. It was nothing new to them; Sakura had always craved the knowledge that can help save a life. Ino had always dreamed of the recognition that came along with being the best of the best. Both roads had similar detours, but different destinations. And soon, it seemed, they would have to put in the extra effort to not let their relationship change. As long as everything went according to plan, Sakura swore that nothing would get in the way. She treasured their nourishing friendship far too much.
Sakura yawned, letting the tiredness tug at her eyes as she averted them to the clock on her wall. It was nearly three and she had to go into work early the next morning. Dread seeped into Sakura's pores as she realized she'd have to turn in her two weeks the next time she walked through the door of the bookstore. It had found a special place in her heart during her tenure there and the thought of leaving it behind left a bitter taste in her mouth. She pondered whether or not she should put it off in hopes of avoiding the inevitable, but that would be too cowardly even for her. Letting another yawn slip through her lips, Sakura cut off her friend to bid her goodnight.
"Goodnight, Ino," Sakura lightly bid farewell, standing up on her bare feet and shut off all the lights that shone far too brightly for her tired eyes. As she shut off the final light and made her way by memory to her singular room, Sakura continued one last time for the night. "I have to wake up in four hours for work and you know it's far past when I usually go to bed."
"Right, right," Ino said. Sakura could imagine her waving her hand back and forth in front of her face as if she were over-explaining once again. As Sakura held her phone up and plopped herself onto her soft bed, Ino added, "Goodnight, Sakura. But, just so we're clear, we're not done. Next time we talk, we're discussing your relationship with these Uchiha men and what power you seem to have over them. Until then, have a nice rest."
Before Sakura could form a coherent thought as a reply, Ino's side of the line went dead and her phone went silent. As Sakura dropped her phone beside her head and stared up through the dark to the bare ceiling above, all Sakura could think was that she was truly in for it.
One way or another.
The scent of worn pages and burning incense wafted to Sakura's nostrils as she stepped through the threshold of the bookstore's chiming front door. Chai latte warmly in hand, Sakura let the wave of nostalgia roll over her senses like a sensual massage, embracing her with comforting memories of lost hours behind the pages of her favorite books. As her toned legs carried her across the gray carpet of the small, charming store, Sakura let her eyes wander around her to take in the familiar setting; it would bitter sweetly be one of the last times.
She passed the extensive rows of worn bookcases to her right; they were lovingly lined with stories of every variety. From valiant adventures to tragic love stories, each word that sat upon the wooden shelves were burned into the minds of those who read them. Sakura herself spent the better parts of her days diving into the plot, losing herself to it. When she had the opportunity, she would sit herself at the artfully crafted mahogany table to her left and enjoy the crafty premises.
Sakura truly loved that table for many reasons. The legs had been expertly crafted into hawks, courageously supporting the shiny brown tabletop. The intricacy of such an antique piece of furniture always compelled her; the amount of work and expertise that surely went into each detail were not lost on her. She held true appreciation for talent and ambition; it encouraged her to keep pushing forward when everything seemed to be closing in on her.
Sakura fit right in with the ambiance of the quaint store when she flipped open a hardcover book and perched herself on one of the simple chairs.
Her warm gaze veered straight ahead as she reached the counter in the back of the store. The lady behind it had her back turned to Sakura, giving her a full view of her shortly cropped hair, hazel with a bundle of gray fizzled in between. There was a lovely tune humming from her thin lips, carrying itself through the air to grace Sakura's ears. Slowing to a stop, Sakura smiled and greeted the older woman with comfortable recognition.
"Good morning, Chie!" Sakura beamed, letting her grin emanate the happiness she felt when she spoke with the store's owner. It remained on her face as the woman turned to face Sakura with her own smile painted on her features. She set down the stack of papers she had been handling and leaned on the counter with both of her hands supporting her.
"Good morning, Miss Sakura," Chie replied, letting the wrinkles around her eyes deepen as she squinted her eyes with delight. Her voice was creaky with age, but she had an exuberance about her that could not be denied. Sakura truly adored her youthful energy; it made her an easy acquaintance to get along with, airing her worries and woes to someone who could effortlessly make them seem insignificant with her positive optimism. It would make leaving all the more difficult, but Sakura knew that Chie would be thrilled for her to begin her new adventure. "You're looking quite chipper today. It's going to be another good day, isn't it?"
"It sure is," Sakura responded, placing her latte on the wooden counter and swinging her red tote from her right shoulder and placing it next to the cash register. Sharply releasing a breath and putting her hands on her sturdy hips, Sakura continued. "So, what's the plan for today? I'm ready to get my hands dirty."
"Well, I have to do this tedious paperwork for the next couple of hours. Taxes, business codes, blah blah blah. All the boring stuff of owning your own store," Chie began, speaking animatedly with her veiny hands. There was a noticeable lack of jewelry adorning her fingers; her husband had passed away years earlier, and Chie was finally able to continue forward. Sakura consistently encouraged her to start dating again, but she wasn't yet ready. Sakura understood. Picking up the pen that sat next to the forms she held such disdain for Chie continued. "We just got a shipment of new non-fiction books from the warehouse today and they're sitting in a box in the back of the store. If you're so willing to get your hands dirty, be my guest and put those on the shelves. It's only you and me this morning, so it's a good thing we get along or we'd be in a pickle."
Chie blinked, turning back to the paperwork as her harmonious laugh resounded throughout the entire store. Sakura's chest tightened bitter sweetly.
"Of course," Sakura softly agreed, letting her hands and expression fall. Before she went to do the job she got paid to do, she had to bite the bullet and deliver the exciting but saddening news. "Um, Chie...by the way...I got my test results back last night. It looks like I passed."
It took merely a split second for the recognition and joy to crack through Chie's expression like lightning.
"That's wonderful news, Sakura!" the store's owner exclaimed, all but leaping around the counter with the minimal energy she possessed to pull a willing Sakura into a loving, reciprocated embrace. Sakura leaned into the warmth her boss-turned-confidante offered, inhaling the scent of her vanilla shampoo. She had only been employed at the store for a little over a year, but Sakura truly found wondrous comfort in the sincere affection Chie held for everyone around. It became a safety net on her worst days and a welcomed companion on some of her best. She knew deep down she would miss that the most when she left to venture on her own. "I had no doubt you'd be able to do it. You've been quite the smart cookie from the start."
Sakura's chest tightening once again as they both pulled away from each other and she peered at Chie; her eyes were bright but clouded by unshed tears. After so much time working side by side, the pair had grown fondly close to each other. The day that Sakura strode through the door looking for a part time job was the moment she would cherish for a lifetime. Chie had been situated in the very spot she found her in that morning, grueling over tedious paperwork and ignoring the stacks of books accumulating into tremendous towers throughout the store. It was clear she was in need of support; her hair was pulled tightly back with twin pencils and stragglers all around her face, and she was chewing on the cap of the pen she wore down to the nub. But despite her evident stress, and despite the worn out conditions surrounding her, Chie welcomed Sakura with open arms and a sunny heart that day. With little to no experience in the working field, Sakura felt like a chicken with its head cut off running around doing things that needed to be done. But, Chie was firm and didn't let anything slide, so over time, Sakura grew to cherish the role that she felt was all but handed to her.
She'd forever be grateful.
"I was pretty certain I'd pass, but you know how I tend to get lost in my own thoughts and doubts," Sakura began, walking towards the front counter and picking up a stray book that laid on the wooden tabletop. Barely sparing it a glance before she tucked it under her left arm to put away at a later time, she faced Chie on the other side and chuckled and continued. "It's going to be the death of me one of these days, I'm sure."
"Oh, most definitely. You've got your own self doubts to overcome, that's for sure. This store may be what gets to me in the end, though," Chie said with a teasing smile, but after a moment, realization struck through her like lightning as she quickly amended, "Not that you have to worry about me! I want you to keep chasing your dreams and move forward. I was surviving long before you came through those doors."
"I have full faith in you, but don't think you'll be able to wash your hands of me. I'll continue to be a part of your life, whether you'd like that or not," Sakura lovingly chided. That was the type of relationship that they'd been able to cultivate; an at-work mother-daughter duo. There was a strength in their bond that the introvert within Sakura appreciated to the core, but it had surely taken time to get to that point. When she first began, there was a civility and politeness that lined their awkward interactions, but when Chie was the first one at her side when she was stressing out over her future, Sakura knew that she was special. She would be readily available with sarcastic quips to ease the tension brewing within Sakura and heartfelt advice to help her keep pushing on. It was that extra support she provided that helped her continue; Sakura had her parents and Ino on the personal level, and now she had Chie on the professional. It was more than she could ever ask for.
"I'll be holding you to that, Sakura," Chie replied, her smile crinkling the wrinkles that lined her golden eyes. She raised her right hand and pointed to her head with her manicured pointer finger. "Keep your head, but don't forget to listen to your heart." She brought that hand down to cover the left side of her chest with a flattened palm. "You're a bright, motivated, caring girl, Sakura. Never let anyone take that for granted, but don't let your heart of gold melt. You're the type of person to go running full speed towards a wreck with no concern for your own well-being, so I want you to be smart without losing that key part of yourself. You'll always have a place to call home wherever I will be. Please don't ever forget that."
Sakura promised herself she wouldn't cry; she promised herself to keep her emotions in check. It wasn't a true goodbye, it wasn't forever. So when the ache in her chest returned and her eyes swelled with loving tears, it took all the power within her to not jump the counter and pounce Chie with a bear hug. She masked her tumultuous emotions with a solemn smile, and merely responded to her old friend with a cracked voice. "Thank you for everything, Chie. I'll keep your voice with me everywhere I go in life."
Before anymore heartfelt words could be exchanged between the two women, Sakura turned on her heel and headed towards the Non-Fiction section of the store to put the book tucked under her arm to its rightful place. She pulled it into her line of sight and a bittersweet smile cracked across her face.
Chie had been reading a book about world-renowned successful female doctors, and she had the page for Tsunade Senju tagged for reference. It seemed like Chie would be cheering for her from the sidelines whether Sakura knew it or not.
The first thing that came to Sasuke's mind as he steadily rose from the warm haze of sleep was how much pain the throbbing in his head was granting him.
He didn't quite remember much from before he shut his eyes for the night; it wasn't as if he had blacked out, but he guiltily admitted to himself that he was close enough to tango with it. The moment his groggy eyes creaked open and adjusted to a brand new day was the moment he was disheartened once more. There were droplets of whiskey still clinging to his tongue for dear life, infecting his breath and rehashing the negative emotions laced with the previous night. Letting the memories sink their claws into his mind, Sasuke's breath sped up as he squeezed his eyes shut and threw his ragged duvet over his face with the force of the raging storm inside him.
As soon as he was able to pace his breathing and compile a coherent thought, Sasuke remembered that since it was a brand new day, there were a new set of expectations laid out in front of him like clothes laid out by a mother in the morning for a day at school. One of those included going back into work and the very thought of it made him sick.
Sasuke tried to believe that it was due to the hangover, but he couldn't deceive even himself.
Tightening the covers over his head and willing his entire being out of existence, Sasuke weighed his options: go into work and miserably make some much-needed money, or shut the world out like a snuffed-out candle, lessening the misery but losing the opportunity to reach out to Sakura.
Sakura. The name reverberated through his mind like a pinball machine in a decrepit warehouse. It refused to stop its relentless ragging the more he dwelled on it. Through the muddled daze of alcohol and self-pity, Sasuke had somehow admitted to himself the night before that he couldn't lose her support from his empty life. She was special and, in a way, didn't see anything wrong with who he was or how he chose to express himself. Being the misunderstood man that he was, it was a bonafide miracle to Sasuke.
But, Sasuke came full circle in that very moment. He knew he didn't deserve any of it. He didn't earn the right to her concern or attention and her affection was surely needed elsewhere. He had never truly taken the time to sit down and get to know her, or even attempt to. Sasuke was so tied up with himself that he didn't truly take her into account, and realizing how selfish that made him seem just encouraged him to push the opportunity to reconcile further and further away. She had put in the effort on more than one occasion to reach out, and each time, he shot her down out of the sky and reinforced his wall of the sturdiest stone.
Like all the other times in the past Sasuke tried to reason with himself, he came to the definitive conclusion that there was absolutely no point in trying to salvage anything good that flirted with his life because he would only ruin it in the end. It was inevitable.
Despite his resolve the night before, Sasuke sank bank into the darkness and let the smell of burning whiskey kiss him sweetly as his breath evened out and he slipped back to sleep.
There was a thunderous pounding, so distant, so far away, as if he were hearing it through the thick water at the bottom of a dark ocean. Sasuke willed it to stop, but it refused to grant him that relief. His head hurt; maybe it was the unabating pulsing of his brain. The vexing sound kept growing louder and more relentless as he floated slowly to the brink of consciousness. Once he breached the surface, it occurred to Sasuke that the noise was coming from the other end of his compact apartment.
Swinging his legs to the side of his bed and letting them dangle for a brief moment, Sasuke mustered up the energy to push himself up to stand and determine the source of the noise. Once he was on his tired feet, unsteadily weary from disuse, Sasuke rubbed the crusty sleep that coated his eyes and strode at his own slow pace to the front door. His mood increasingly soured as the seconds dragged on; Sasuke did not take kindly to his sleep being interrupted so abruptly. Unlocking each hatch on the worn door that barricaded him from the outside world, Sasuke irritably yanked the door open, interrupting the loud banging with the creaking of the rusty hinges.
Sasuke came face to face with a livid Naruto and nearly all of Sasuke's sleepiness evaporated into mist. He knew why Naruto was at his apartment: he had skipped work that morning. The moments he spent earlier that day came flooding back to Sasuke and he couldn't stop the feeling of shame from washing all over him, from the tips of his toes to each fingertip to his increasingly flushed face. It was tingly and painful at the same time. Sasuke averted his eyes, opting to focus on the fresh white shoes without a single scuff that Naruto donned.
"Sasuke," Naruto began with warning laced in his words. The tension building up between them was nearly palpable and could be sliced with a searing hot knife. Sasuke's lips pursed and his grip on the door's handle tightened in anticipation. "Tell me why you didn't bother to show up to work today. And don't you dare give me some bullshit answer."
Sasuke's grip on the door handle slackened until his right hand fell defeatedly to his side. Standing in front of his best friend in nothing but a hole-filled shirt and old boxers, Sasuke felt bare, exposed. Naruto's fierce blue eyes seemingly pierced a spear right through him, laying his innermost turmoil out to be worn like a badge of dishonor. Sasuke would never outwardly admit it, but it truly seemed like Naruto had more of a grasp of understanding when it came to his life than he did.
He would never, ever admit it.
"Forget about it, Naruto," Sasuke replied, keeping his eyes averted and spinning on his left heel to turn his back on his friend. He made no move to shut the door in Naruto's angry face. "It's best for you to stop worrying about a lost cause like me."
Sasuke's ears twitched minutely as he heard Naruto's muted footsteps approach him from behind on the shaggy carpet beneath their feet. Feeling his large hand on his left shoulder prepare to whip him around and face reality, Sasuke rooted his feet in place and weakly shoved Naruto away. His rejection was met with a jaded sigh, but Sasuke didn't hear receding footsteps following it. After a few tense seconds, Sasuke turned to greet the silence and face his friend empty-handed and defeated.
"I was going to go, Naruto," Sasuke attempted to explain. He was never one for elaborating on why he did things; he would never be understood, anyway. Sasuke used to over-explain, nearly pleading for people to fathom his point of view, but every word he offered fell on deaf ears. It was all wasted breath. Why serve his thoughts on a silver platter when all everyone would ever do was spit in his face? But, Naruto had proven to at least listen to what he had to say, so Sasuke warily continued. "I really was. But, I couldn't get out of bed if I tried. Just tell Iruka that the job just isn't for me."
At first, Naruto's eyes hardened with tangible anger and frustration, but after crystal clear internal deliberation, they softened and sadness bled through his expression. Sasuke knew he had a grocery list full of things to be upset about, but he truly resented the fact that Naruto's desolation was directed at him. It deepened his guilt; it was like he was digging a hole deeper and deeper. The misery that consumed him at every turn had no bottom, no end in sight.
Sasuke had a burgeoning feeling that Naruto wouldn't do what he asked.
"Come on, Sasuke," Naruto near-whispered. As he found his voice again, he reached into the pocket of his acid-washed jeans for the keys to his car, letting them jingle through the silence between them as he held them up in Sasuke's line of view. He cleared his throat and continued confidently. "We're going for a ride. Put on something presentable and come with me."
"If I could barely drag myself out of bed today, what makes you think I'd be willing to go on some adventure with you?" Sasuke snapped, clenching his fists and raising the stone walls within him defensively once more.
"I wasn't asking if you were willing or not," Naruto retorted, his eyes increasing in intensity and mouth tightening in resolve. "You need this more than you know, and we're leaving right now. Go get changed and make sure your clothes are clean and NOT directly out of the hamper."
Sasuke let the demand fester like a wound; he knew deep down he would give in. He seemed to be weak in standing his own ground. He desperately craved the darkness of solitude and warmth of sleep, but he knew that Naruto wouldn't let that slide. Telling himself that he was only going along with him to avoid further annoyance, Sasuke reluctantly agreed.
"Fine," he said, turning his back as Naruto shut the front door to grant a semblance of privacy as Sasuke changed. He continued walking through the dark as he headed to his closet from memory. As he reached for the last remaining shirt he had hanging in the bare closet, Sasuke added, "You win, but we better not go anywhere I wouldn't normally go."
As the blooming trees breezed silently by the passenger window like memories left in the past, Sasuke focused on the hues of orange, yellow, and pink that melted into the evening sky. Naruto had been driving silently for nearly ten minutes, but Sasuke refused to be the one to break the ice.
He knew deep in his marrow that Naruto didn't merely take him out on the road for a mere head-clearing breather. His mood was far too severe for that. His powerful eyes were locked on the gravelly road in front of them as he focused on each curve of the road, keeping both muscular hand tightly gripped around the leather steering wheel. Sasuke turned his head over to observe his friend; Naruto didn't make an effort to hide his displeasure with him. Whether he intended to or not, he evoked enough guilt from Sasuke to make him feel as if he were wading through the sludge of his own shame.
He probably did.
Feeling Sasuke's pitiful gaze on him, Naruto briefly blinked to his right to meet his dark eyes: an acknowledgment. Dropping his right hand from the wheel and placing it on the gear shift comfortably, Naruto sighed and decided it was as good a time as any to finally speak his mind.
"There isn't much I can say that I haven't already told you before, you know," Naruto began, gluing his gaze to the road ahead, but shifting his body slightly askew to face in Sasuke's direction. It was as nonchalant as he would allow himself to be. "Sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall that hates itself and it's exhausting, man. I've been there for you every step of the way, but there's a time where you really need to face the world on your own. I want to be your best friend, but right now, I sound like your parent. And that job should be reserved for the ones who are actually your family."
"My actual family isn't there for me. You've seen in the past how they cared more about saving face than their own son," Sasuke said, crossing his arms and shifting his body to face the world outside. It was as close to facing the world as he was going to get. He tried to focus on the sporadic clouds that were soon to disappear in the dark of the night; Sasuke found himself wishing that could be him.
"You've said that a thousand times, but your memories are clearly skewed," Naruto replied, tightening his grip until his knuckles bled white, but maintaining the ability to keep his composure. "I was there at the jail, Sasuke. I was there when they bailed you out. Itachi called me that night thinking I'd be the one able to talk some sense into you. I thought I could do that, but after all this time, I'm starting to lose a little faith."
"We're not going to talk about that night," Sasuke hissed, nearly slamming his forehead on the window, increasingly straining himself as he dwelled on a sour memory. "I don't want to talk it through. I don't even want to acknowledge it exists."
"Denial is not healthy, Sasuke," Naruto warned, sneaking a glance over to his friend that seemed to be hunched over in physical pain, though he knew that it was the emotional trauma that debilitated him. "I understand why you want to forget it. It was probably one of the worst nights of your life. But you can't keep blaming yourself for things that were out of your control."
"Yes, I can," Sasuke argued, curving in on himself until he was curled into a ball on the leather passenger seat, straining the seat belt to the very end of its ability. "If I can't blame myself, no one would be held accountable."
Naruto sighed as his eyes softened even more and his grip loosened. "It's true that no one would hold any responsibility, but it's not your burden to bear. It's not fair to you. It isn't good for your soul to carry this weight on your back through life. It causes you to push people away, and we only want to be there for you."
"I'll never understand why," Sasuke began, "I've never done anything to deserve it."
"You don't need to deserve anything," Naruto countered, letting the frustration he felt evidently soak through his vocal chords, "You just need to be open to receiving that love and be willing to change for the better. Love isn't earned, but it can certainly become lost."
Sasuke remained in his ball of misery, letting Naruto's words seep into his skin. He absorbed every word like a sponge, hanging on each syllable that drifted in his direction. It was progress, he supposed, since it had been a long while since he had even been willing to listen with open ears to what Naruto had to say. His ears may have been opened, but Sasuke was convinced he was far too damaged, far too scared to open his heart.
"I don't need the love you say I do," Sasuke replied, words coming out muffled as he spoke through his bent knees. Naruto understood each strained word that he offered.
"Damn it, Sasuke, can you give me a break already?" Naruto cut through with his voice, slamming a hand on the leather of his steering wheel and letting the small compact car swerve slightly. The swaying of the car and minimal screeching of tires caused Sasuke to bolt upright and focus his gaze straight out the window in front of him. Naruto ignored the distraction and continued. "I'm really trying here. I'm not going to give up on you, but this has to be a two way street. You need to make an effort and realize you have so much more potential than you give yourself credit for! It's draining for both you and those around you."
Sasuke remained quiet, slumping back into his worn seat as he realized his life was not in any immediate danger. He focused on the continuous noise of rubber against pavement, zeroing in on every bump and crevice the vehicle gave way to. The regained steadiness of the car served as a metronome for his erratic heartbeats; the combination of fear and anxiety nearly proved too much for Sasuke to handle. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sasuke took a few stabilizing moments before digesting Naruto's proclamation.
When he was younger, Sasuke had been viewed as a prodigy; he was held up on a pedestal, supported by the ego that inflated with each adoring word lovingly sent his way. With the highest marks in school and scores in sports, Sasuke was reassured he could do anything he set his mind to. Teachers paid special attention to him, leaving the less promising children behind in the dust. Sasuke relished in the spotlight shining so brightly upon him. But, he was ill-prepared for what lay next; along with these privileges came people who took advantage of them. And they weren't straightforward in their malicious intentions.
They were snakes tied together with the prettiest bow, enticing and manipulating to ultimately get their way.
His naivety cost him his supposed potential.
"You shouldn't waste anymore energy on me," Sasuke mumbled to no one in particular, having nothing but a grain of fight left in him. "Really. Please, just take me home."
His request was met with no words, no acknowledgment. The only sound that Sasuke picked up on was the car slowing down and clicking of the turn signal. As his body swayed to the side along with the vehicle, Sasuke kept his head down and sullen expression hidden. He knew that the conversation with Naruto wouldn't be an easy one, but he couldn't help but dwell on how drained he felt. His limbs were heavy like lead and his chest constricted with pain. He was sure he couldn't face down his demons even if he was forced to.
"We're here, Sasuke," Naruto's voice broke through to him. Sasuke slowly raised his dark eyes to peer outside, fully expecting to see the welcoming view of his shoddy apartment complex. Instead, he was greeted by another building, unfamiliar and certainly in better shape than his own. Sasuke let his mind wonder where they were and why Naruto brought him to some strange place he had never been. "It's time for you to get out and do what you need to do."
The sound of the car doors unlocking echoed in Sasuke's mind, mixing together with his confusion like a well-blended recipe. He remained planted in his seat, refusing to move a muscle. It wasn't until Naruto whipped the car into a parking space and shut it off that Sasuke realized he truly meant what he said. There were no games being played. Naruto fully expected him to get out and do things unknown.
"Sakura's apartment is 328," Naruto announced, shaking his keys between his fingers and looking straight ahead to the clean cut building, avoiding Sasuke's incredulous expression. Turning to face him and jut his chin to the exit, Naruto continued, "Like I said, go do what you need to do."
Sasuke angrily opened his mouth, preparing for an argument he was doomed to lose. Thinking better of it, he quickly shut his round lips together into a tight line and dug his dull nails into the palms of his hands. It wasn't as if he didn't want to make up with Sakura; in fact, he fully intended to the night before. It didn't seem fair to be thrown into the line of fire with no warning whatsoever, but if it helped him gain some ground out of his pathetic hole, Sasuke would do it.
He would bravely face her.
Vowing to give Naruto a vicious earful in the near future, Sasuke carefully unclicked the seat belt, turned and opened the passenger side door. The crisp evening flowed into the car, colliding with the stuffy air like clashing energies at war. It matched the battlefield Sasuke hosted within. He shyly glanced back at Naruto one last time before he slammed the door shut and spun on his right heel to make his way towards Sakura's apartment.
Despite every nerve ending pleading for him to turn back around and flee, Sasuke pushed himself forward so he could finally verbalize that words that weighed so heavily on his mind to the very person he needed to. He couldn't tell if he hoped she were home or not, but he refused to let the cowardice he felt so fervently show itself to the ones he cared about.
Or, in Sasuke's case, to Sakura.
Hello everyone! This was chapter eight. I hope you enjoyed it! This was definitely more of a transitional chapter, but I enjoyed letting tidbits of Sasuke's past seep through his conversation with Naruto. All will be revealed in due time! Next chapter, Sasuke and Sakura will finally come face to face. What do you think will happen? Stay tuned!
As always, please like/subscribe/review and let me know what you think! Have a great week :)