Chapter 120
Charlotte was driving to Drovers Run. Over the years, she had spent some school holidays and weekends there and she loved her Aunt Tess and her Aunt Jodi and Uncle Matt, but she still felt a little weird when she went there. This was her mother's home, The place she would have grown up if her mother hadn't died. Her aunts and cousins might have been some of her closest friends if her mother hadn't died. This amazing beautiful place that would have been part hers, if her mother hadn't died.
Charlotte had enjoyed a good childhood. Her father had loved her, and her step mom had raised her as her own despite the fact her father had left her step mom for her mother. Well, he had started to leave her when Claire found out the truth of his family and ended their relationship. Aunt Tess had told her the entire story when she was sixteen. She had confirmed it with her parents. She had known her step-mom wasn't her biological mom for as long as she could remember, but she didn't know the full terms of what had happened until then.
Because of that, she never quite felt one hundred percent like she belonged in either place. She loved her sisters, but never felt quite the connection to them that they shared with each other. The time at Drovers Run had always set her apart in a way. It was her special place and the McLeod's, special people that were hers alone. She loved hearing stories of her mother from Tess and Jodi and Meg. They painted a wonderful picture of an amazing, strong woman who had loved her deeply.
The entire Johnson family rode horses and liked horses. Training horses was her father's business, but her sisters didn't have the same passion for it like she did. It was the only place she wanted to be, on a horse at a full gallop. She had competed in some rodeo and equestrian events, but it was really just working and training the horses that she liked more than competing.
Aunt Jodi and Aunt Tess had told her they were going to throw her an eighteenth birthday party at Drovers Run, and that she could stay with them for as long as she wanted. They had told her most of her cousins would be there and that everyone was really excited to see her.
The bond between the McLeods was closer than any family she had ever seen, but she just didn't feel like she was totally one of them. She didn't live at Drovers like her cousins Claire and Meggie and Katie. She hadn't experienced and processed tragedy and triumph together like Tess and Jodi had. She felt like she was just like this random girl who visited some times and got to learn about her mother. She loved Drovers Run and the McLeods, but she felt she had missed out on a lot because her mother had died and she couldn't remember her at all. She had tried to remember when she was a baby, when her mother was still alive, but she just couldn't.
Tess had shown her some video they had of her and her mom together. She loved it, but it wasn't the same as a memory she herself owned. She knew she would never have that.