Hello, everyone! Here is the ninth chapter of Healing Demons. Please review and enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto only.
SUMMARY: Sakura was a diligent medical student with dreams and aspirations of greatness. Sasuke's dreams had been crushed by a dark past, leaving him broke and depressed. What happened when these two crossed paths and their lives got interwoven together? Modern world AU
The warmth of Sakura's apartment flooded the fibers of Sasuke's nerves and lulled the cataclysm of his anxiety into a silent tremor. His tongue became heavily dry, usurping all the words he resolved to bare. Standing stiffly in his gray socks starkly in the middle of the living room, Sasuke's eyes averted to the discarded and forgotten shoes he removed at the front door; he was grasping at straws to avoid looking directly at Sakura, despite his desire to get his sincere apology across.
Ears picking up on the demure sipping of tea, Sasuke perked his gaze back up to the girl. She was seated directly in front of him, cross-legged and doe-eyed. He could spy the curiosity that was laced in her gaze, but she kept her mouth quiet, merely sipping the warm tea that she nursed between her two delicate hands. He felt the silence drag on at a snail's pace, time ticking by like an unabashed afterthought. Sasuke felt his shoulders gradually clench uncomfortably as he peered directly at Sakura patiently waiting for him to actually voice his thoughts. If he dwelled on it any further, he'd surely lose composure and chicken out, so he decided to creep to the edge of the cliff and fling himself off the edge.
"I'm sorry," Sasuke bit out, raising his tense shoulders up to his ears as his hands tried to grip tightly to the inside of his pockets for a semblance of support. He resisted the overwhelming urge to look elsewhere; he instead bit his lip and maintained a fierce eye contact with the emeralds of Sakura's eyes. He was a coward and he knew it, and he burned with shame at the face that his lack of courage was on full display for all the world to see. He would set aside what negativity relentlessly scratched at each flake of his skin, swallowing the fear of facing his own actions. Reality had never been a kind companion; it became an uncomfortable tug at his senses he had to roughly rub his arm just to sate. He focused solely on that action as he continued on. "I'm sorry. I'm no good with words, and even worse at functioning as a normal human being. People don't usually stick around me for too long, so I blame my lack of social grace on pushing you away so harshly. Before we really got to know each other…but...god, this is so stupid for me to say. But, if you somehow feel the same as I did when we spend time together, I'd like one more chance. I'd like there to be a next time."
Sasuke watched intently as Sakura removed the porcelain of the mug from her sweet lips and slowly placed it on a coaster in front of her with both hands. Never breaking eye contact, she leaned forward, supporting herself with those two hands on the lip of the couch. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. She seemed absolutely lost for words, and Sasuke supposed that was one of the first times someone didn't have anything to throw back in his face immediately. Sakura pushed herself to her feet and carried herself around the glass coffee table to face Sasuke directly. It took the force of a thousand mountains to keep himself securely in place.
"That must have been tough for you to spit out, huh?" Sakura finally replied, curving her lips into a teasing smile and clasping her hands together in front of her chest in a nervous gesture. The contradictory nature in her body language indicated to even socially inept Sasuke that she was diligently dealing with an inner turmoil. He watched her intently as she bravely pressed on. "To be perfectly honest, I didn't expect you to be so straightforward with me. Though it didn't sound all that natural for you, I really appreciate the effort it must have taken. I really do."
Waiting a few beating breaths after she graced him with a response, Sasuke finally let a ghost of a smile whisper across his features. He kept his hands shoved into his pockets, but let his entire body relax exponentially.
Silently, Sakura raised her right hand to reach for Sasuke's left, but paused midair as if she willed her compulsion to be reined into place. A blush softened against her cheeks, kissing them flirtatiously and mirroring the increasing colors in Sasuke's own face. Sasuke couldn't muster the strength to form words, so Sakura regained her composure, letting her serious expression harden her eyes with conviction.
"It really sucked, you know," Sakura sternly began. The hard stoniness of her voice forced Sasuke to realize that he let himself get his hopes up too early. He should have known better than to assume that a simple string of words that knitted together an apology wouldn't be nearly enough to let him off the hook. He tensed back up and squeezed his eyes shut. "Look at me, Sasuke. We're not a couple who have known each other forever. Hell, we're not even a couple. But I was really, truly convinced that there was something, something between us when we were together. It's my fault for getting my hopes up, I know, I know. But even if I misread things, it was still shitty of you to treat me like that. I don't believe it was justified or even fair."
The tired young man had pried his eyes open to stare at Sakura as she put her foot down. It was agonizing, much more agonizing to have her air her grievances with him out loud than when, Naruto, would. She gave a fresh perspective and whether he realized it or not, desired her approval. His self-sabotaging ways were on display like the premiere attraction in a museum and Sasuke was afraid now more than ever the Sakura would walk straight past his exhibit in disgust. There were few people that cared enough about him to bother giving constructive criticism, and Sasuke felt conflicted knowing that Sakura was now one of those people. He knew he had to talk, to communicate with her to salvage the fresh connection they both shared. Grimacing in contorted pain, he pressed onward.
"I'm sorry," Sasuke whispered, averting his gaze in shame as the only phrase that he could think of flooded his mind. He could explain everything right down to the bare bone, but he didn't think he'd ever be able to do that. It was far too shameful to face down the monster lurking in the mirror. Instead, he opted to avoid explanation and accept his fate. "That's all I wanted you to know. You didn't deserve how I treated you last night."
"You're damn right I didn't deserve it!" Sakura exclaimed in exasperation, throwing her hands up in the air. Sasuke took a step back unintentionally, shrinking back from the growing emotions Sakura spilled out. She immediately cut off her frustration, softening her eyes and relaxing her limbs. Loosening her shoulders and hanging her arms to her sides defeatedly, Sakura sighed and added, "I'm not going to hold it against you. Really. But if we're going to be friends, you'll have to treat me better."
Friends. Sasuke got caught in that word as dangerously as stepping into quicksand. He was not one for friends; they let you down and throw you under the bus at every turn. You give them an inch and they take a mile. They leave you behind to face the darkness alone while they bask in the sunlight. It wasn't his cup of tea to be treated anything less than what he already thought of himself.
And that didn't say all that much.
Yet, it seemed enticing how that title was presented on a silver platter. It seemed wrong, so wrong to indulge after so long depriving himself, but Sasuke couldn't help but look at her offer of friendship in a more positive light than he ever did with any other person. He had no idea what made her so special, so different from all the others, but he knew that he couldn't deny that difference for much longer. Taking that tentative step back forward and initiating eye contact all over again, Sasuke merely said with fragile faith, "I will."
"I don't think that's good enough, I'm afraid," Sakura replied seriously, but after a split second of panic that swept through Sasuke, Sakura let out a harmonious laugh. She reached back out to Sasuke, grabbing his jacketed left elbow and pulling him lightly over to her couch. Confused, Sasuke went along with her as his heart rate quickened and breath lessened. As he sat down, he noted that Sakura opted not to join him on the love seat and his nerves felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. He studied Sakura as she picked up her mug and said, "Make yourself at home. We're getting to know each other tonight. All the gritty details."
This feels right, Sakura felt herself thinking as she poured another mug of hot tea for Sasuke and her. She, against her better judgment, decided to let Sasuke stay in her apartment that night. She told herself it was because they didn't yet know enough about each other, but another, more underlying reason was her craving for his presence. In actuality, she wasn't angry at Sasuke for snapping at her; she reasoned that it was because she truly had crossed an unnecessary line. Hurt, most definitely, but she harbored no resentment. She had spent the last hour getting to know Sasuke on a deeper level; rather, he got to know more about her as he provided snippets of information. She came to realize that was how he was: closed off and possessing little words. He seemed more interested in listening rather than offering pieces of himself, but Sakura happily obliged.
"I've always dreamed of being a healer," Sakura admitted. She had her muscular knees folded under her as she sat opposite to Sasuke on the couch. Her hands were folded on top of her bare, smooth legs, fingers fiddling nervously together. She had never been too shy of a person, except for the point in time she had been bullied as a child. Her eyes were glued to Sasuke chiseled face, dancing with his dark eyes. His body was relaxed as he leaned back into the cushion, facing entirely towards her. It set her senses on fire just to think about the searing proximity between the pair of them. Biting her lip in anticipation, she continued. "That's why I've worked so hard over the years. To be quite honest, when I was younger, I didn't feel good enough for anything or anyone. I needed someone to nudge me in the right direction and reassure me that everything I was striving towards was not in vain. My parents supported me, I had my best friend Ino by my side, but when I felt disillusioned the most, Ms. Chie was there with open arms to push me forward. My parents were busy with work and Ino had her own studies to worry about, so I didn't want to burden anyone. She's the one who sat me down and set me straight, and I'll always be grateful that I have someone like that in my life."
The young woman let her hands drop into her lap face down and leaned into them, any way to subtly close the distance between Sasuke and her. The warmth of her apartment did nothing to quell the attraction she felt to him; it crawled over her skin and made her insides tickle. This was an opportune time to get to know Sasuke layer by layer, but all her running mind could focus on was him. She needed to veil it before it got too far out of hand. Training her eyes onto Sasuke's onyx ones, she awaited his response.
"Support is always...good," Sasuke replied shortly. His gaze drifted to Sakura's hand, studying intently as if he craved to reach out and grab it. He sighed as he threw his head back to stare at the bare ceiling. His dark hair fell over his face, framing his features ethereally. He tentatively continued, "Support is needed. I've never quite had that...luxury. I've been on my own for a while now."
"What about Naruto?" Sakura inquired. The tone of her voice remained light and airy, but there was a deep concern etched in between each word. "He seems to really care about you. Doesn't he support you?"
"Ah," Sasuke breathed, remaining in his singular spot, closing his eyes and nodding his head minutely. "I suppose. But he's the only one, and I keep pushing him away." Sasuke rolled his head to the side to capture Sakura's inquisitive gaze. "Not sure why, though."
"Well…" Sakura began, trailing off, unsure of whether to proceed or not. Biting the bullet, she averted her eyes and asked, "What about your family? Your...Itachi...he seemed pretty nice when I met him."
"Itachi is not what he seems to be," Sasuke spat, venomous vibes leaking through his voice as he leaned forward and dug his sharp elbows into the top of his knees. "His chivalry is an act and nothing about him is genuine. I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth."
A wolf in sheep's clothing? That wasn't the vibe Sakura got from the older Uchiha, but then again, she was always looking for the best in people. It really was a somber thought; imagining the fact that Sasuke had such a large family with a lack of support saddened her immensely. Looking at Sasuke, at first glance, it was clear he didn't have things together. Though there was a clear magnetic pull that drew her closer to him, it felt like he would always stay out of reach. His expression told tired stories that his lips would never reveal and his eyes were a window to what loomed inside. How much pain had he endured up until that point? How lonely must it feel to be left on your own by the ones who should love you the most?
"I see," Sakura replied, eyes downcast as she twiddled her pale fingers. She desired to delve deeper into the machinations of Sasuke's mind, but didn't want to poke the bear. She had witnessed such a negative, forceful retaliation and knew immediately she didn't want to experience that again. Whether it was her fault or not. "Is there anyone else at all that you're close to? Besides Naruto?"
"Not really," Sasuke began, shoving his hands in his face, rubbing with the ferocity of a thousand suns. Sakura knew that she was treading thin water, a line better not crossed, but she felt too strong a pull to dig further to deny much longer. She just needed to tiptoe carefully and prepare for the worst. She kept her gaze glued away from the young man as he continued. "I've been on my own for a while now. It's not ideal, but it's the hand I've been dealt."
"I understand what you mean...not by experience, but the loneliness you feel must be something that's tough to carry day to day. Have you ever wanted someone to fill that empty space?" Sakura asked. The empathy she felt deep within her chest swelled to every part of her body until it was all that she could fathom.
Sasuke frowned, the lines of his lips creasing downwards, deepening his dimples and worrying his forehead. Sakura spied his pout as he responded, "I suppose, but it's never really occurred to me that I'm capable of having that in my life."
"But you are, Sasuke. Every single person deserves to have some form of love in their life. Whether it's a romantic, platonic, or familial connection, don't discount yourself out of it. You're selling yourself short," Sakura replied. The tone of her voice grew increasingly frantic as if not getting the point across would make it all lost to Sasuke. She could tell he desired that bond; it was the very base of human nature. But it made her wonder what Sasuke must have gone through to feel so undeserving of something so vital. What demons did he have to face down to wear him down so much? The mere thought of his lonely suffering solidified Sakura's resolve to find a spot in his life.
"Such notions shouldn't be thrown around like they're nothing," Sasuke began. He crossed his arms haughtily across his chest as he leaned back against the couch. Sakura noted his continued lack of eye contact and the anxiety it brewed within her belly made her visibly squirm. "I've had to go through life on my own because it's been thrown in my face how much I don't deserve that. Thinking any other way is a complete waste of time."
The cracking of Sakura's heart at his admission reverberated through her like a broken mirror. She had always felt bad for herself for the sadness she endured as a child, but she was never truly alone. Had she been a bit ignorant to the struggles of others while she was so tunnel-visioned within herself? Maybe, but she hadn't really realized the scope of that naivety. The comprehension of that slapped her in the face, causing an unwelcome case of whiplash.
"I'm so sorry you feel that way, Sasuke," Sakura all but whispered, reaching silently out to grab Sasuke's smooth hand. Gripping it firmly, she pulled it over to her warm lap and rested their conjoined hands there. She felt rather than saw Sasuke's fingers reflexively strain within her touch, but kept her softened eyes facing forward, melted with sympathy. It was all she could think of doing in that moment, overlooking the fear of rejection with the resolve to show compassion. Sasuke remained in his spot, but his gaze slowly slid over to Sakura's as she said, "But I meant what I said the other day. If you need someone to be there for you, I will gladly be that person."
Sasuke remained silent, though Sakura could spot the range of emotions that passed through him. His shock molded itself into into realization which let itself grow into confusion. Confused why someone would care so genuinely, why someone would bother reaching out when he had fallen down time and time again. There was a conflict that presented itself; either accept this offer but feel like an imposter, or deny it and live with the inevitable guilt. The seemingly steadfast, tumultuous war waged inside himself had a clear winner as Sasuke closed his fingers timidly around Sakura's own hand and he sat up to face her.
"You would really want someone like me in your life?" Sasuke shyly asked, leaning in closer and closer to Sakura until their knees were touching. Sakura was sucked into the sensation of the contact between them; it was the first time Sasuke had initiated it. All she could bring herself to do was squeeze his hands in affirmation. "Why?"
"Because I'd want someone to do the same for me," Sakura replied, a sweet smile gracing her lips. She kept a firm grip on Sasuke's hand as she went on, "Life isn't meant to be lived alone. You don't have to go through it carrying your burdens all alone. You don't need to punish yourself with loneliness and isolation. You deserve so much more."
Sasuke remained silent as Sakura analyzed his expression. He seemed so unsure, so unsteady and it worried her. She didn't have much to offer, but she hoped what she could give Sasuke would be just what he needed. She didn't dare move a muscle as she intently watched him digest what she laid bare. They remained in place, hands entwined for a few more moments before Sasuke unlinked their fingers and slowly brought his right hand up to cup Sakura's flushed left cheek.
Sakura leaned into its warmth, savoring every curve and line that his hand possessed. She brought her left hand up to hold his to her face, trying with every muscle in her body to stop the trembling she could feel from her head to the tips of her toes. She wished to remain like that all night, wished to shoo the sun away to leave the pair alone for eternity. His careful softness broke her chest all over again, electrifying her, consuming her, affecting her to her very core.
She couldn't hold back from him much longer.
But the more rational side of her reeled her back in. She hadn't realized she had leaned in so close, so close to Sasuke's face. She could feel his breath mixing with hers, everything frozen around them as if they were the only ones in the world. She didn't want it to end; she wanted to sink into the warmth Sasuke granted and share much more than words. She craved to taste his lips, feel the ripples of his skin, and hear the sounds of pleasure coming from him, knowing she was the cause of it.
She sloped towards him, getting closer and closer, anticipating the sweet nectarous taste of him on her tongue.
But she couldn't do it. Sakura dropped her hand from her cheek and her gaze turned downcast. How could she be so selfish? She was so focused on how much she wanted Sasuke that she disregarded the heavy words that hung between them.
Man, she was such a jerk.
Pulling back slowly, Sakura glimpsed a twinge of hurt flutter across Sasuke's eyes. Whether he wanted to close the distance as well, she had no idea. But what she did know was it wasn't the right time. She shouldn't cover the bitterness with a candy-coated topping because when bitten into, the sour taste would still linger in the core. It would be best to start from scratch and see what could bloom from there.
"It's pretty late," she started, a frown weighing heavily on her lips. She stared longingly at the distance she put between her and Sasuke; it was mere inches, but felt like hundreds of miles. She longed to reach for him again, run her fingers through his dark hair like coursing down a river. But she needed to get a hold of the raging hormones that tormented her and address them a different night. She lifted her heavy eyes up to Sasuke's face, noting the licking of his lips, the laboring of his breathing. She found herself hoping, selfishly wishing that he felt the same attraction, same passion, same frustration she experienced; it would affirm that she wasn't too crazy to feel so flustered. "We should probably go to bed. Feel free to sleep here on the couch."
How she wished it could be her bed, but it would be far too much, far too fast. She really needed to slow her roll.
Sakura pushed herself reluctantly up off the couch and trudged over to the closet on the other side of the room. Reaching in, she grabbed a fluffy red blanket and white pillow she kept stored there and brought it over to Sasuke. Sakura could feel his searing gaze piercing right through her as she made her way back to where he was seated. She felt stipped bare, exposed by their almost-kiss, as if making her attraction known had peeled back a layer of skin for Sasuke to see. He had lit a fire in her belly and Sakura had no clue whether he realized it or not. "Use these to make yourself comfortable."
Sasuke grabbed the blanket delicately from Sakura, nodding minutely with gratefulness. Sakura intentionally avoided any further physical contact with him, knowing deep down if she allowed herself that one luxury, she'd fall further down the rabbit hole and never want to leave his side for the rest of the night. Slowly, Sasuke wrapped the warm cotton around his broad shoulders and leaned back into the cushion behind him.
"Thanks," Sasuke muttered, sleepiness curling around his words, clinging to his voice. He peered through the lush forest of his thick lashes, letting a small smirk form as he added, "For everything."
For the hundredth time that night, Sakura's chest tightened and cheeks warmed. She allowed herself one last glance at Sasuke's rugged softness before she bid him goodnight.
It was far more difficult to leave him behind than it should have been.
When Sasuke awoke that morning, for once, he wasn't straining to see through the haze of grogginess. There was fresh sunlight that illuminated his entire body, enveloping him in a warm hug. It felt relaxing, cathartic even, to wake up to a bright, welcoming room rather than his dank apartment. It filled him with foreign energy, turning him away from the option to sink back into sleep. It should've been off-putting, feeling such a drastic change in his normal wake up call, but Sasuke recalled the night before.
He remembered the distant hope that fluttered beneath his breastbone and the infinitesimal happiness that teased him all night long. He reasoned that he shouldn't fall too deep into those emotions; it would be a recipe for disaster. But, he couldn't stop himself from wading through how Sakura made him feel, letting it all soak into his skin. It was nourishing and he had been reminded how he denied himself of it for far too long.
Maybe it was time to walk to the shallow part of the water and slowly make his way to the deep end.
Sasuke awkwardly maneuvered himself to reach for his phone in his jeans pocket; it had been one of the few times he had fallen asleep in his street clothes soberly. He pulled the small device out from under the warmth of the blanket and noted that it was half past eight in the morning. Technically, his shift at the coffee shop would be starting in thirty minutes, but he couldn't lift a muscle to get out of bed. For once, his issue wasn't the unrelenting existential dread that anchored him in place, rather the comfort that encased him. The smell of lavender and vanilla wafted into his nostrils, giving the unruliness of his thoughts something to cling to.
Sasuke realized he could get used to feeling so at peace.
He noted the lack of speeding cards resounding in the distance and overall stillness all around him. It was the complete opposite of the anxious atmosphere back at home, and Sasuke wanted to bathe in the ease Sakura's space provided. Closing his eyes in content, Sasuke dropped his phone to the floor and sank deeper into the couch, pulling the blanket closer to him as if he could absorb it and retain that warmth within him.
As Sasuke let himself get lost in the sensory overload, his ears perked up at the slight noise emanating from the other side of Sakura's bedroom door. It was subtle, as if it were a mouse scratching at the inside of the wall. There were quiet footsteps padding across the room and the faint sound of a closet door opening and closing. The mere thought of Sakura awake, aware, alive on the other side of the apartment brought memories from the previous night flooding back into his mind as if a dam had burst and the emotions he felt came sweeping in full force.
He recalled the confliction he experienced, fighting between the compulsion to reach out to Sakura and the devil on his shoulder taunting him, telling him he didn't deserve a moment of her time. The attention she gave him filled him with an unfamiliar sensation; it was a pleasant, exciting feeling, but it scared him all the same. Sasuke couldn't place his finger on the exact word for how he felt, and he couldn't decide whether he enjoyed it or not.
Sakura had slid her way into his mind, sinking her claws into him and infecting his entire being. It was dangerous.
He pulled the red blanket over his eyes, willing himself out of existence. He knew he shouldn't deny himself this happiness, he knew but was afraid. Afraid it wouldn't last, afraid it wasn't real. But most of all, he was afraid that it was real. The authenticity of their forged connection unnerved him; his anxious brain went over every way he could screw it up a hundred, thousand, million times, and kept coming up with new hypothetical situations that would haunt him for as far as he could see. Sasuke huffed hot air through his nose in irritation.
His self-sabotaging ways were getting really damn old.
Before he could form another thought, Sasuke heard the door to Sakura's bedroom creak open and tensed at the light footsteps carrying across the room. His eyes peeled open and glimpsed the lithe form heading in his direction through the holes of the knitted blanket. Before he could think better of it, he tossed the blanket from over his matted head and sat up to greet Sakura for the morning.
Sasuke's pulse quickened as he scanned her, roving over her mussed hair, tired yet intoxicating eyes, and invigorating curves. She wore an oversized shirt that had been tucked into the front of her shorts. Her shorts - they hiked up her thigh in such a teasing way that Sasuke couldn't help but hitch himself on the sight. Her toned legs were pale, so pale, but smooth and inviting. He couldn't stop from imagining how they would feel wrapped around his waist.
It really wasn't fair what Sakura was doing to him.
"Good morning, Sasuke," Sakura chimed, breaking through his self-induced reverie. He quickly looked anywhere but her, his gaze landing on the framed picture of herself beneath a raining cherry blossom tree. She appeared just as beautiful to him made up as she did in that very moment, freshly out of bed. Sasuke cleared his throat and dragged his eyes back up to capture hers, willing himself to not peer beneath her neck. He really was disgusting, he told himself, even as he saw her shy smile form around her words. "I hope you were able to sleep alright. That couch is so old and raggedy it should starting thinking about going into retirement."
"Ah…" Sasuke replied, wrapping the blanket over his shoulders like a shawl, clinging to any remnants of bliss he felt when he awoke. He allowed a smirk to make its appearance as he continued, "I did...thank you."
"Do you want any breakfast? I can whip something up fairly quickly," Sakura offered, spinning on her left heel and heading towards the kitchen. Her footsteps were barely audible as her bare feet moved over the carpet. Sasuke watched intently as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked back at him, adding, "I have to head to the hospital this morning to sign some paperwork, meet my superiors and all that jazz. Do you need a ride home?"
That's right, Sasuke remembered. He had been dropped off here last night, forced to face his transgressions by Naruto. He had been so angry, so bitter at first that he didn't see that he was granted a golden opportunity. The rare rational side of him reared its ugly head and knocked a grain of sense into him. He had to stop and wonder what the hell was getting into him.
"I was dropped off," Sasuke began, releasing his grip on the blanket, letting it pool around his waist. He stared as Sakura opened a cupboard and reached up, elongating her slender neck and exposing the pulse that lingered there. Even there, so far away from him, Sakura drew Sasuke in, beckoning him to her with the most mundane of actions. Swallowing dryly, Sasuke leaned forward onto his elbows, supporting himself on his knees and continued, "You don't need to worry. I can call for a ride."
"Nonsense!" Sakura exclaimed, letting the wooden cabinet door slam as she pulled two porcelain bowls out of it. She was clearly offended that he would even suggest the notion, causing a shade of pink to develop on the back of his neck. Sakura made her way over to the breakfast bar separating the kitchen from the living room, leaned over and projected, "I'm not going to leave you to fend for yourself! What kind of host would I be if I kicked you out right as you wake up?!"
Trying to mask how taken aback he felt, Sasuke stood up and made his way over to the other side of the breakfast bar to come face to face with Sakura. He deliberated it; should he rely once again on Sakura's kindness or decline it and disappoint her? He surely didn't want to cause her any sort of distress, so the answer seemed obvious. But he really didn't want to go back to the darkness of his apartment. Sasuke had tasted the sweet clarity being out of his comfort zone served him and he wasn't ready to sink back into that funk.
He'd much rather go to work than go back home.
"Ah...I guess you're right," Sasuke began, feigning nonchalance as he leaned on the granite counter, closing the distance just as Sakura had the night before. He had picked up on most of the subtle movements she made since he was so painfully aware of her body. Every time she bit her plump lips, tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, or twiddled her nimble fingers, Sasuke noted every action. He wanted to be the one to test those waters for once. "Then I'll take you up on your offer."
"That's great to hear," Sakura replied, a bright grin finding its rightful place on her mouth. She made no move to close the distance even further, yet showed no inclination of pulling away. The bowls she pulled out had been forgotten, set to the side unminded. There was an uncertainty that hung in the air, thick and harsh as Sasuke breathed it through his lungs. But he faced the unknown with an uncharacteristic bravery as Sakura continued, "Good thing I didn't have to twist your arm too much. I have been known to be very convincing."
Before Sasuke could properly process her words, Sakura deepened her smile almost tauntingly one last time and pulled away, going further into the kitchen to scout for something to eat. Gratitude bubbled within Sasuke as he realized that regardless of what Sakura chose to serve, it would be the first time for as long as he could remember that someone would be making him a warm meal. He was so used to fast food and cold leftovers, so unaccustomed to homemade meals that the boy that craved love and affection inside him swelled with joy.
Not that he would ever allow himself to express that externally.
Sakura seemingly danced through the kitchen, reaching for eggs, spices, and cured meat to cook together. It was all so fluidly natural and Sasuke was mesmerized. They didn't speak any further, rather basked in the comfortable silence that seemed to become a ballroom dance for them; they stepped perfectly in sync and had a synchronized give and take. It was as if they had known each other all their lives and found their niche within each other. Sasuke felt the dramatic side of him wondering if this is what he'd been missing for so long.
The scent of omelets soaked into the air, drifting all throughout the spacious apartment, mixing with the sizzling butter and toasty bacon that saturated his nostrils. It felt warm, domestic and it sent a pang of longing down Sasuke's spine. It was uncharted territory for him and he felt like an imposter within his own brittle skin.
Sakura hummed a lovely tune as she scooped the meal delicately into the bowls and slid Sasuke's portion across the counter to him. The steam emanating from the breakfast caused a screen between the pair, obscuring Sasuke's view of her, faintly teasing his need to keep his eyes locked on hers. Picking up his utensils, he took a bite, never looking away from Sakura.
It must have been getting old for him to keep thanking her left and right. Sakura seemed to be giving much more than she would take, and it felt uncomfortable unbalanced. It just didn't seem fair to keep accepting her kind gestures without anything to offer in return. Sasuke was a shallow, hollow husk of a person with not enough money or motivation to support even himself. How must it look on the outside, when she kept bending over backwards for him when he couldn't even bring himself to work a part time job?
He felt like such a leech.
"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Sakura inquired, igniting a conversation clearly in hopes of starting a dialogue between them. Maybe he was the only one comfortable with the silence that lasted between them. Was he being completely self-centered? It certainly wouldn't be the first time and likely wouldn't be the last. Sasuke took a petite bite of the omelet Sakura cooked for him, savoring the blend between sweet and savory, salty and spicy that coated his tongue. She clearly had enough culinary skill to create layers to a flavor profile, which was yet another thing to admire from afar.
Sasuke dwelled on her question for a brief moment, considering the position he found himself in. Less than twenty four hours earlier, he had been twisted in the viperous clutches of whiskey and self-loathing, truly convinced he had ruined yet another good thing in his life. But as he sat there straight across from Sakura, free from the confines of his usual hangover, he realized that there really could be a way to climb out of the dark abyss. It wouldn't be easy, and wouldn't be free from fear, but it was actually, really, truly possible in some shape or form. He had no clue where to go or which steps to take, but he started that first baby step by accepting Sakura's kindness, so he decided he might go ahead and take another by accepting Naruto's as well.
"Work," Sasuke replied, taking one last bite of his fluffy eggs before he continued. His voice wanted to shake and conviction wished to waver, but he couldn't let them. Not when he had finally gotten a glimpse of the other side of the green grass. He watched as Sakura placed her elbows on the counter and rested her chin in her cupped hands, smiling serenely at him. It wasn't fair that he still felt so undeserving when such small things she did affected him so deeply. "I'm scheduled at nine. Naruto will pop a blood vessel if I'm a no-show again."
"Why didn't you say so earlier, Sasuke?!" Sakura exclaimed, gobbling down the rest of her food frantically as she glanced hurriedly at the clock on her oven. Grabbing both bowls and all but tossing them into the sink, she whipped over to Sasuke and huffed. "I was lounging here enjoying myself while you've probably been waiting patiently for me to get myself together! God, I'm so sorry!"
Sasuke couldn't help but smile slightly at the frazzled Sakura as she stood up from his chair and made his way around to the kitchen. She continued blaming herself, attempting to brush past him to grab her keys and wallet until Sasuke lightly grabbed her by the shoulders, effectively rooting her in place. She slowed herself down just in time to take a breath and look deep into Sasuke's dark eyes as he tried to calm her nerves.
"It's fine," Sasuke said soothingly, squeezing her slim shoulders in affirmation as he looked down at her. Her green eyes were wide, her round lips hung open in amazement. He could see that her hectic racing thoughts were lulling as her breaths evened out. "There's no need to worry. I will get there when I get there. We'll leave together when we are both ready to go."
Standing there together in her kitchen, face to face, was alleviating in so many ways for Sasuke. Sakura brought both of her hands to grab his waist for support as she smiled and nodded affirmatively, and Sasuke took that moment to rest his right hand on the top of her silky hair reassuringly. It really felt like she was a puzzle piece that fit perfectly into place.
And that was the moment Sasuke truly came to the conclusion that he could really get used to letting himself accept Sakura for what she offered and not what he believed he could not deserve. He could truly learn to love again.
Hello everyone! This was chapter nine. I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think of Sasuke and Sakura's interactions. I tried fairly hard to keep them in character while also letting Sasuke finally see that Sakura means well in every aspect. How do you think this will go for them? Stay tuned!
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