Hello, everyone! Here is the eleventh chapter of Healing Demons. Please review and enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto only.
SUMMARY: Sakura was a diligent medical student with dreams and aspirations of greatness. Sasuke's dreams had been crushed by a dark past, leaving him broke and depressed. What happened when these two crossed paths and their lives got interwoven together? Modern world AU
Sakura sighed as she dropped herself on her bed and sank deeply into the soft cotton fibers. She soaked in the faint cherry scent of her fresh linens and exhaled the stress of the day. Though all the challenges she faced were welcomed with open arms, it was all the more satisfying to decompress in her home when she had been worked to the bone.
Tsunade had been stone cold serious when she said she had much to learn before she was ready to save anyone.
The majority of her day had been spent shadowing Tsunade as she made her rounds through throngs of patients. There were those who coped with their situations with positivity and those who faced them with anger and resentment. She'd known that, seen it before. But witnessing their universal underlying fear through a new set of eyes was alarming and quite exhausting.
Sakura's yearning to connect with others on every level was a double-edge sword she must handle delicately.
Mentally drained, yet motivationally invigorated, Sakura decided that though it was approaching evening, it was not yet time to prepare for bed. Normally, at times like these, she'd prop up with a good book or binge watch her latest show, but now, she knew she wanted something different.
She wanted to share her day with Sasuke.
With her phone already in hand, Sakura scrolled until she landed on the number Sasuke had put into it not long ago. The sight of his name and the way to contact him warmed her chest, constricting it in the most delicious of ways, She felt giddy, almost like a schoolgirl with a crush on the bad boy on the playground. It excited her, made her nervous, and sent her nerves wild all at the same time.
She felt that way from the mere thought of him, so imagining what he'd do to her when they came face to face with him sent her bursting into flames.
After selecting his name and setting the phone on speaker, Sakura let the phone ring. Each ring swam through the air, reaching her ears and snaking down her body. Each ring was another step closer to reaching Sasuke, to speaking with his deep, raspy voice, to being in close proximity to him.
Each ring held the promise that she'd be able to reach him.
Sakura intently listened as each ring went by with no relief, no response until she was greeted by the automated response. She was crestfallen that he couldn't be reached. Not one to give up at the first sign of failure, Sakura opened a new text message for him to read when he was finally ready. She could only sit and hope her persistence wouldn't chase him away.
She stared at the screen, twiddling her thumbs as she tried to form the words. It was tough, trying to write what she really meant. She was clumsy with words and nearly always found herself wishing she could take them back once she'd said them. She clicked her tongue in sync with the tapping of the pads of her fingers on the glass screen, mimicking typing the words, but couldn't find the ability to form the words she wanted to say.
Should she invite him over? Should she invite herself over to his place? No, that would be thoughtless and rude. If she didn't invite him, how would she get to spend time with him? Inviting him to spend the night again would be too forward, wouldn't it?
The only reason she got the chance to spend time with him the night before was due to pure, natural, unfiltered luck. She really shouldn't push it.
But the longing that sat like a stone at the bottom of her stomach burned, rising up to her chest and out to each limb. She nearly choked on the feeling that immersed her lungs, stunted her breathing. If she ignored it, she'd be in heaps more trouble than she already was. She sucked hard at her plump bottom lip.
Biting the bullet, she quickly typed out a message and sent it before she could think better of it. Immediately, she tossed her phone to the other end of the bed and threw her arms over her eyes. Sakura groaned, louder and louder to try and relieve the surmounting pressure in her chest. The anticipation of Sasuke's reply whooshed the breath right out of her and she felt watery tears building behind her eyes like a dam. It really shouldn't have been such a big deal, so why did she feel so drained, so anxious from sending out a mere invitation?
Was it the fear of rejection? Or was it because it was a terrifying concept to put yourself out in the open like a captive walking the plank?
Sakura decided it was both as she tossed her covers over her head and tried to drown herself in the sea of her worries and linen.
A chime roused Sakura from her sleep. It sounded so far away, yet it was as clear as day. She fought to raise herself to the surface, finally cracking her eyelids open after a few achingly long moments.
When had she fallen asleep? How long had she been out and unaware? Sakura asked herself these questions as her brain ran marathons to catch up with everything else. What had she been doing before her slumber overtook her like a silent assassin in the night?
A handsome image of Sasuke flitted across her vision, jolting her awake. Of course! She had reached out in a hope to spend more time with him. Sakura kicked the covers off of her, scrambling to reach the phone she had tossed out of sight. She gripped it firmly and turned on the screen, anticipation seeping out of her in waves.
It was Ino; Sakura felt guilty at the slight disappointment that weighed her down, deflating her. Surely she wasn't so selfish that she'd shun her best friend for a boy she'd only just gotten close to? She had a harder time convincing herself otherwise than she'd like to admit.
Sighing and accepting the call, Sakura greeted her friend. "Yes, Ino?"
"Don't sound so happy to hear from me, Sakura!" Ino's voice chimed from the other end of the line. Though Sakura was always one to clearly wear her heart on her sleeve, it felt like Ino had seen right through her the moment the call began. "I have some great news if you're willing to listen!"
Instinctually, Sakura's spine straightened and ears perked up. What could it be? The increasingly self-centered part of her hoped it was about Sasuke; she imagined that he had professed his undying love for her to Ino because he was too shy to admit anything to her directly, no matter how unrealistic or out of character that may have been. Then, the more rational side of her shoved its way to the forefront and reasoned that this was Ino; she had no close or immediate connection to him. It was all a fairy tale.
"Well, of course I'm willing to listen. I answered your call, didn't I?" Sakura quipped, selfishly not sure if she wanted to hear the news. It wasn't as if she wouldn't be happy for her regardless of what it was, but Sakura had honestly been so wrapped up in her own life that she hasn't paid any mind to Ino's. It doubled the guilty ache in her chest.
"That doesn't mean squat," Ino replied, teasing Sakura even further. If she was aware of how much worse she was making her feel, Sakura didn't know. Sakura slumped back into her pillows, careful not to verbalize her conflicted sigh. Her friend called her to share good news and all she could think about was herself. How shitty of her. "But I digress. The Uchiha family finally contacted me."
Sakura's breath inaudibly hitched, teeth bit her burning tongue. She truly felt she thought this into existence, though she rationally knew she had no hand in it. She had no peace of mind, no relief from the perilous thoughts since that very surname waltzed into her unsuspecting life. Sakura had to think ten-fold to remain self-aware and focused. It was Ino's moment to shine, not hers. Why was she being so thoughtless?
Ino continued, "I was so worried. Like, you have no idea. My cuticles are shot and I swear there are track marks in my carpet from pacing back and forth. My entire life is in the balance and I didn't know how to cope with being in the dark. But I finally, finally heard back from them."
"And?" Sakura inquired, figuratively leaning on the edge of her seat but quite literally squeezing herself as she wrapped her arms around her torso like a shawl. Quickly realizing her anxious anticipation came off as snide and uncaring, she amended by adding, "What did they say? Are they interested in your work?"
"Well of course they are," Ino replied clearly through the channel of the phone. Sakura knew her snippiness was a coping mechanism and she couldn't judge at all; she was experiencing the exact same thing. Remaining quiet on her side of the line, Sakura allowed Ino to gather her wits and continue. "They haven't said anything definite and it's like they're dancing around the subject just to drive me crazy. But I guess that's just business as usual."
"That's not right," Sakura chided, but internally, she understood. In all actuality, it wouldn't be wise to jump right into the deep end at the get-go. It wouldn't be as rewarding and it was likely a tactic to weed out those who weren't as serious as they needed to be. But, Sakura knew firsthand of her friend's tenacity, knew she wouldn't give up without a fair fight. She continued, "Well, if they're playing these games, what did they say to you?"
"Dinner. They want to go out to dinner tomorrow evening," Ino breathed, clearly struggling to juggle her excitement of the opportunity with the anxiety of failure. Sakura was at a loss for what to do to properly support her friend. She opened her mouth but no words emitted, so she closed it once more. "That's a good thing, right? They probably want to discuss a contract with me, right? I don't know. They're so deeply invested in the security world, so why would they want anything to do with me? It makes no sense, and it's driving me insane!"
"Don't dwell on it too much before you get any solid answers. You know as well as I do that it doesn't help anyone to get lost in the what ifs of a situation," Sakura reminded. She felt like a hypocrite preaching to the choir; she lived and breathed hypothetical situations. She supposed she was trying to convince herself of this as well as Ino. "They want to meet up with you! It would be borderline cruel if they offered you dinner just to turn you down."
And yet, Ino seemed to harbor a valid point. The Uchiha family had a security company to their name, so what were their intentions dabbling in a totally different field? Sakura reasoned it was likely to further establish themselves as a superpower within Konoha, but her instincts nagged at her that there was likely more than met the eye. Maybe to make more money or forge new networks, but the odd choice left Sakura with a bad taste in her mouth.
Was Sasuke aware of his family's intentions? If so, would he be transparent about it, or closed off?
"Right, right, you're right," Ino replied in an attempt to wave off her worries. Sakura didn't want to voice her concerns; she shouldn't cause anymore stress on the aspiring fashionista. She would continue to shoulder them while she kept a watchful eye out for her. "But I really feel so much more nervous than I usually do. Why can't I get a grip?!"
"Because you've worked so hard for this basically your entire life!" Sakura reminded her, throwing her one hand up in exasperation. She may have felt her thoughts wander in their own direction, but she wouldn't allow Ino's mind to travel to any unnecessary boundaries. Her confidence was as much a part of her as any other body part, and travelling to roads unknown would compromise it. Second guessing herself was uncharted territory. "Just be yourself and bravely face. Doing that got you this far."
"Yeah, you've said so before," Ino sighed, audibly throwing her head back. Sakura imagined her sprawled on her bed, eyes latching onto one arm of the ceiling fan as it spun around and around and around. Anything to keep her mind from going to places it shouldn't. "I know you're just trying to help, but I feel like advice isn't going to help me feel any better. It'll only force me to keep thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong."
"Then, what do you need me to do?" Sakura asked, trying to harden herself against Ino's criticism. She didn't mean to be harsh, but her words were sharp and blunt all at the same time. It was a deadly combination. The young woman fell defeatedly fully on her back as she wondered if she would ever be good enough for anyone. "I'm full of advice and pretty words, but I feel powerless to do much else."
"Just...be there," Ino replied, chewing her words carefully before spitting them out. Sakura in all honesty felt frustrated; she supposed she could have been slightly more prepared for that answer. In all the time they were close, Ino had mainly needed to vent rather than receive advice. Though there was nothing wrong with that per se, Sakura felt overflown with wisdom she'd die to share. She didn't want to be over-dramatic, but she was truly starting to feel under appreciated. She waited to see if Ino would continue, but Sakura was met with silence.
"Well, that's always a given," Sakura answered, chewing her thumbnail as she reassured her friend. She had been afraid she was being selfish, but maybe she was spreading herself too thin? Did she need to start picking and choosing her battles? She prided herself on her loyalty, her devotion to her friends. But was it time to step back and look at the bigger picture? Was this uncertainty just a grain of narcissism rearing its ugly head? She came to the conclusion she was just being irrational. Ino was going to be facing a make it or break it moment in her career and she had every right to lean on her support system - which happened to be her. "Have I ever been one to let you down?"
"No, you haven't," Ino replied. Her tentative smile emanated through the phone and Sakura's fears that she wouldn't be able to help even a little bit were slightly quelled. Slightly, because the seed had been planted and would not go away. "I guess that's why I called, for your support."
"Also keep in mind you have other choices," Sakura added, ignoring Ino's confirmation. She knew her almost too well. She pressed on, trying to quash the gnawing hopelessness that bubbled in her throat. Her eyes stung, but she fought to remain indifferent, level-headed. She was just being overly-sensitive. "If this falls through, it won't be the end of the world. You'll be able to dust yourself off and keep going, so don't put all your eggs in one basket."
"I don't like that word, 'if'", Ino replied, the only indication she had absorbed the words Sakura offered. She continued, "It implies there's a chance it won't happen. And I desperately want it to happen."
"There's always a chance things won't work in your favor," Sakura responded, ready to wrap the conversation up in a bow and be done with it. Maybe they were both being absorbed within themselves, and hopefully, she reasoned, that was okay. They were both in new, defining chapters in their lives and needed to get their feet solidly beneath them. But, then again, maybe she just wasn't being fair. "But that's a chance you're always going to take. The beauty of chance is that it makes life worth living."
"So poetic," Ino replied, sighing and pulling away from her phone for a brief moment. Sakura heard shuffling in the background and staticky fumbling flooded the line. When her friend returned, it was clear she had grabbed a planner of sorts and began jotting notes down. She finally continued, "Okay, so tomorrow evening, I'll be fine wine and dining the Uchiha family like my life depends on it. And you'll be busy spending time with another member of that family, right?"
Sakura choked and tried to cough down the air that seemed to escape her in that moment. She had been so resigned to speaking about Ino's plans that she hadn't been prepared to face hers. Forced to sit upright to gulp oxygen through her lungs, Sakura shoved her bangs from her eyes and replied, "What makes you say that?!"
"A little birdie sang a little song and told me a certain someone spent the night at your place last night!" Ino chimed, her playful teasing a clear change of subject. A distraction at her expense. A little distraction she would indulge in.
"A song, huh? And what, pray tell, did those lyrics entail?" Sakura inquired, lacing her voice with suggestion when she knew full well that nothing went down; there was nothing scandalous about her encounter with Sasuke, nothing to write home about. But she wished it had, and it was fun to play along for however long she could. If that made her childish, then she'd bask in it for all it was worth. She felt she deserved that much.
"Naruto just told me he went over to apologize for the other night. Nothing more, nothing less," Ino said, seriousness slightly seeping into her voice. She had never been one to appreciate being kept out of the loop; it wasn't as if she meant to keep it from her. She just hadn't found the right time. But, in all honesty, she had been bursting at the seams, dying to divulge her feelings to Ino. She needed an outside perspective, an experienced guide to put in her two cents. Maybe even her thousand dollars.
"Nothing more," Sakura repeated, racking her brain in search of where to even start. Should she start from the very beginning and reveal every moment that occurred from then until now? Or should she remain as vague as possible? Sasuke was a very private guy, and he trusted her to handle his words with care. She couldn't betray that, no matter how much she needed to spill the beans. It meant so much to her that he felt comfortable enough with her to open up. The very thought of it sent her heart to the stars. "Well, I'll tell you what I can, and you'll find out more of the story when I do."
"We are expanding our business ventures," Itachi bluntly began, pushing up off the wooden desk and carrying himself to the other side. He stopped at the large, floor-length window staring out at heaven-knows-what. Sasuke peeked through his heavy lashes as he noted Itachi clasping his hands behind his back and evenly leaning on both sturdy feet. To many, he may have appeared imposing, conniving even, but Sasuke knew he was nervous. He was kneading his fingers and avoiding eye contact; just those subtle nuances alone were a dead giveaway for a normally stoic man. Sasuke's eyes remained rooted to his brother as he waited for him to elaborate. "It's something out family has been in talks about for quite some time now. We're looking to establish some roots in different homes and grow."
Itachi whirled around and looked to his younger brother, "I want to offer you a seat at the adult's table, Sasuke."
Sasuke took a brief moment to digest his admission; he probably had a dumbfounded look splattered across his face. He knew, knew, Itachi wanted something from him. It was the only plausible reason he plucked him from the streets and paraded him around like a fish out of water. He knew, yet he hadn't really expected the reality of it. His family had always been ambitious, so what role did they expect him to play in their game?
"You've already heard my answer," Sasuke merely replied, feeling like a rickety broken record. It really felt like no one could take no for an answer from him, like no one took his boundaries seriously. He pulled his sleeves over his hands and tried to drown further into the fabric. He had to remain firm and keep shutting these horrible ideas down. "It's disconcerting to see you keep expecting a different one. It's the definition of insanity."
"I know it's not your cup of tea, but hear me out," Itachi replied, placing his knuckles carefully on his desk and leaning forward. " We can ease you into things. Run small errands, organize files, set up meetings with clients and potential partners. The small things that people may not even notice can make a huge difference."
"Oh, so now I can be some glorified intern?" Sasuke shot back, raising his bushy eyebrows tauntingly and leaning forward to meet his brother's gaze. "You're so condescending. No thanks."
"I'm not trying to be condescending, Sasuke," Itachi said, pushing himself up and turning back towards the window. Crossing his arms across his broad chest, he added, "I feel like we can go back and forth all day and never make any progress with each other. It's like talking to a brick wall."
"It's not worth the effort," Sasuke responded, leaning back into his chair and truly thinking about Itachi's request. It made no sense to him, and regardless of his personal vendetta against his family, Sasuke's reflexive reaction was flight. But, as he took a moment to ponder any possible motivations that stewed beneath the surface, he realized that this really was a move they were long-preparing for.
All the forged business connections, the surprise investments, the hiring of a Public Relations team; it all equated to the growth of an empire.
It even explained why it was so easy for them to cut ties with him when he got into bed with the wrong side of the law.
And now they wanted him to become a part of that fiasco? If he didn't already feel averse to it, he now felt it a thousand times worse. Sasuke lunged to his feet and squatted to scoop up his bad. As he prepared himself to storm out as he normally did in less-than-ideal situations, he found his feet stopping him in place. The curiosity that started as a tiny flicker came to life and lit up his mind. He spun back around to ask one question. "Why now, after all this time?"
Itachi visibly stiffened and dropped his hands to his side. Sasuke could almost see the storm brewing beneath the surface, the rain clouds surrounding him nearly palpable. He had no idea why his question seemed to affect his brother so deeply. He'd always spent his wasted breath on him, so why was this time any different than the last?
"It's, uh, it's becoming a very complicated time," Itachi began, uncharacteristically stumbling over his words to form an answer. Alright, something was seriously up with Mr. Know-It-All. He had a reply to everything, whether it was a sarcastic remark or a blunt blow. Sasuke was man enough to admit that Itachi's obvious unrest had piqued his attention. He turned his body to fully face his brother who still seemed to think the birds outside were more interesting than what was going on in the increasingly dim office. Itachi continued, "You've been gone for a while, Sasuke. Time is a cruel mistress and takes no prisoners. A family such as ours is no exception."
"Itachi," Sasuke snapped, dropping his bag at his feet and striding over to the dark wooden desk, knocking into the recently empty chair. He stood firm, far sturdier than he felt on the inside, and confronted his brother's vaguity. "Just spit out what you're trying to say and stop speaking in circles."
"Father is relinquishing his position and it was not his choice," Itachi replied, not daring to turn around and face Sasuke. It was clear he intended to rip off the bandaid and finally come clean about what in the world was going on. He knew there was going to be inevitable beating around the bush to soften any blow, and it irked Sasuke to no end that he insisted on consistently treating him like a child who needs protection, who has no say in the matter. Yet, he wasn't sure he truly wanted to find out the truth. "He's being forced out. He's giving his position over to me to stick it to many chairmen who threatened a coup d'etat. And I want to show a unified front to show what we as Uchiha men are truly made of, through and through. And that includes you."
"You don't need me bringing you down if you're trying to climb your way to the top," Sasuke replied as he slumped his shoulders in defeat; did he really think that there was more to their motivation than power? Money had always seemed to be the root of his family's corruption from where he stood, and he decided long before that he wanted no part in that.
Sasuke had really fooled himself by thinking he would possibly give them another chance if there was more to their story, but they consistently proved his initial impression correct. At that point, he would continue to walk away unless proven otherwise.
Turning his back to Itachi's, Sasuke took large strides towards the door, squatting briefly to scoop up his backpack. Without so much as looking to see if his older brother was listening, he called out to him before yanking the heavy door open. "You can call me if you find you have something to say. But don't try to drag me into things I've already distanced myself from. There are things better left in the past."
It felt like an eternity since he had been greeted by the grim vibe his apartment emitted, Sasuke thought, when, in reality, it had only been a day or so. So much had happened after he was whisked away into the night.
His chest hurt from recalling the bare emotion he faced, both within the welcoming arms of Sakura and the edging embrace of his friend. Heck, it had been a tiresome journey to be with Itachi. He felt aged a hundred years, drained beyond belief. It would have been about the time he'd toss himself under the shaggy covers and fall into a deep slumber.
But he found a deep longing filling that hurt and he immediately knew the source of it.
As he unceremoniously dropped his bag at his booted feet and stepped into the darkness, Sasuke's fingers itched to reach for his phone and call Sakura with the number she finally gave him the night before. Would that be too forward considering he had just spent the night at her place? Or would she lose interest if he didn't follow up with her?
He wasn't one to second guess his actions with another human being and he felt changed by the second. It was disconcerting.
It wasn't too far into the evening; the moon still hung low in the sky and remnants of the sunset still dusted the emerging moonlight. Usually, this was the time of day that longed to begin a night full of revelry and poor decisions, with a strong emphasis on the latter. He felt compelled to cave into his desire to crack open a beer and swig away his worries, but was overcome by his need to drown himself in the warmth Sakura had to offer.
He blindly reached for his phone and flinched as he flipped on the bright light. Unaccustomed to having any messages waiting for him at the end of a long day, Sasuke felt a flurry of surprise sprinkled with irritation swirl within him; he imagined Naruto pestering him about his impromptu visitor earlier that evening and Itachi following up on his ridiculous request.
But he was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by Sakura's message; it was as if her ears had been burning from his constant thoughts that dwelled on her. He quickly scanned her words, reading and re-reading them until he could properly digest them. She seemed so nonchalant, yet he could feel the anticipation seeping through every word. He could feel it because he felt it himself.
But, just as he was going to reply, accepting her invitation to spend time together, he froze. She didn't explicitly ask for him to come to her apartment, so where did she want to go? Did she know he didn't drive, had to rely on the stuffy buses to get around? Would that bother her? Should he just invite her to his place?
Hell no. He wouldn't infect her with the sallowness that seeped into the carpet and clung to the dark air. She deserved better than what he could offer, and it made Sasuke realize he had been selfish. Selfish to keep her attention glued to him and selfish to think he could allow more to grow from their blooming connecting. He had tricked himself into thinking that Sakura would stick around once she got a glimpse into his sad excuse for a life.
Sasuke stopped when the top of his shins hit his bed, slowly turning around and lowering himself to sit upon the worn mattress. He stared into nothing and thought about what he currently found himself in. Not long before, he had been resigned to a lonely solitude, cut off from the world after it had turned against him. But after a few moments of attention and appealing words sent in his direction, he was entranced, enthralled, spellbound. It was so unlike him, and he never thought in a million years that he'd come back face to face with the demons he'd been trying to outrun for so long.
Feigning ignorance was a tactic that only lasted so long.
He stared and stared and stared at the screen, trying to mull over every reason he shouldn't care, every reason he should shove his burgeoning feelings to the very back of his mind and disregard them for the good of Sakura. His fingers danced on the plastic keys, holding back the words he wished he had the courage to send.
He wanted to spend time with her, wanted to share her space. He wanted the sense of security he felt as he gazed into her eyes and felt like his sins had melted away. He craved her touch as she gently brushed his tangled hair from his dark eyes and needed to see her warm smile light up the room.
Was it so selfish of him to finally give himself over to her? Sasuke had been alone for so long, he had forgotten how it felt to be real. A true person with actual feelings.
Sasuke forcibly exhaled, bending down to untie his shoes and kick them across the room. Once he heard the definitive thunk of his shoe hitting the wall on the other side of the room, he dropped to his back while his legs dangled from the edge of his bed. He squeezed his eyes shut as he spread his arms out wide and sank into the covers. He really enjoyed himself the previous night, but if he allowed himself to indulge in the simple pleasures Sakura offered, he'd surely become disillusioned and get lost even further within.
He didn't need that any more than he needed piping hot lead poured down the front of his shirt.
Sasuke swallowed hard, trying with all his might to convince his mind and body that falling into Sakura's light was a bad idea; he was like a moth drawn to a flame and he was bound to get scorched.
Against his will and the clouded judgment he wore like a tunic, he listened to the alarms screaming at him to ignore the siren's call. Sasuke reached for the phone he tossed across his bed and sent Sakura a brief reply, hoping, praying that he knew what he was doing. He hoped that he wouldn't get hurt, but moreso, wouldn't hurt Sakura.
He would just have to make sure to tread more carefully next time and cover up any bloody footprints he left behind.
Hello everyone! This was chapter eleven. I hope you enjoyed it! I know this may be a bit shorter than usual, but there's definitely a reason for that! ;) Stay tuned, because a new chapter is coming REAL SOON!
As always, please like/subscribe/review and let me know what you think! I love and appreciate you all! :)