Chapter 20

She took a deep breath and turned to look at Lexa. "I've never told anyone the whole story of what happened with Lacy. But I want to tell you. Maybe then you'll understand."

She opened her mouth and the whole story came spilling out.

"The story I told you before was a condensed version, a lot of things left out," Clarke started. "I met Lacy the first week of my second year of college, she was a freshman. We bumped into each other in the library, literally, and she seemed so frazzled. She told me she was having a hard time adjusting to college life as we cleaned up the mess we had created."

Clarke took a breath as she went back to that day, that time in her life. Lacy had seemed so sweet and innocent. She wondered now how much of it had been an act. "We hit it off pretty quickly and it wasn't long before we were dating."

She took Lexa's hand in her own, needing the comfort it could provide. Lexa gave it a gentle squeeze, encouraging her to continue. "I have never been ashamed of Avery, of my own stupid choices, yes. But never of her. So, I told Lacy early on about her. The fact that she barely reacted, or didn't ask any questions should have been a big sign, but I didn't see it."

She had already told Lexa about bringing Lacy home with her, but she filled in more detail this time. It was Avery's third birthday that Clarke had dragged her girlfriend too. She thought it would be a good time for the two of them to meet and she was determined to not miss any of her little girl's birthdays if she could avoid it.

She noticed some of the looks that Lacy had given her daughter, but she put it off as the other girl just wasn't used to being around little kids. Avery didn't make it any easier by not letting Clarke out of her sight for even a moment that whole trip. The little girl was so excited to have her mom home and didn't like the interloper that she had brought with her.

"I foolishly thought that they just needed to spend more time together. That eventually they would get used to each other and everything would be fine. I was so stupid."

Lexa wrapped an arm around Clarke and pulled her into her body. She placed a kiss into the other girl's hair, just above her ear. "You are not, and were not stupid. You were optimistic that everything would be fine. You believed that the two people you cared about would care about each other. That's not stupid. You have a big heart and that is part of it."

The sound of Lexa's breathing, and the feel of her body against her own, comforted Clarke in a way she never knew was possible. It was barely there, but even from this position she could faintly hear the other girl's heartbeat. It was calming.

"I came home for Thanksgiving, but Lacy went to her own family dinner. Which I didn't think was a big deal. We'd only been dating a couple months after all. When we were together everything was normal, so I figured everything was good."

"The week before Christmas my mom had to go to a medical conference, she really didn't want to go because she thought it was ridiculous to have one that close to Christmas, but she didn't have much of a choice. My dad decided he would go with her and they'd celebrate their anniversary and have a mini-vacation."

"I have to agree with your mom, a conference that close to Christmas is not cool," Lexa broke in, bringing a little light into the conversation. "Especially because a lot of you doctors don't get to spend that time at home as it is."

"That was her thought too. My dad was just the kind of guy to try and make a positive out of any situation though. His idea was a good one," Clarke added.

"So, what about Avery?"

"My classes ended that same week for winter break, but the day they would need to fly out, I also had my last class which we had an exam so I couldn't miss it. I wouldn't have time to get to LA from San Francisco before they needed to leave. So, we came to a compromise, they'd bring Avery to me and then fly out from there. We'd spend a few days together at my apartment then head home to spend the holidays with my parent's once they got back."

It had all worked out perfectly. Her parents had arrived with a very tired Avery just as she had finished up her last class, and exam of the day. They'd stayed long enough to get the little girl settled and then headed straight to the airport.

"First night was great, just me and Avery spending time together. It had only been a few weeks since I had last saw her, but at only three, she was still growing and changing so fast. My parents were also paying for my apartment. I had a two-bedroom place so that I had room for Avery when she came to visit me. It was all decorated and furnished for her. The first night though we just cuddled in my bed and watched Disney movies until bedtime."

Lexa was starting to dread where this story was going. She knew Clarke well enough to know that whatever was coming she wasn't going to like it anymore than Clarke did.

"Lacy didn't come around until the third day that Avery was there. She actually seemed to take an interest in Avery, enough at least that I thought they were getting used to each other. Avery was still a little put off, but she didn't shy away. Just sat there playing with her toys."

Clarke took a deep breath. She'd only ever told people that she had a big fight with Lacy that night, she'd never delved into why. Now she'd have to relive that day.

Clarke sat on her couch, keeping an eye on Avery as she played. There was a smile on her face as she watched the little girl explore her creativity. She loved the expressions she'd make as she moved one block and then another, creating some building or something, Clarke couldn't be sure.

Lacy tucked herself into Clarke side, and she grinned even more. This was nice, just a quiet morning at home with the two people she cared about. She couldn't say she loved Lacy yet, but she enjoyed her company and thought they had a great thing going.

She didn't notice the grimace on the other girl's face each time she smiled at Avery and not at her. She was to wrapped up in her own hopes for what was to come.

The ringing of her phone caught them all off guard. Clarke didn't get a whole lot of phone calls, mostly her family and a few friends so she could image who it would be. The fact that it was Becca, her neighbor, made her even more curious. The two women had become friends, but she couldn't image why she would be calling.

She answered her phone and quickly understood that this call was of the emergency variety. Becca had hurt herself, cut her hand open, while working on a project and couldn't drive herself to the hospital.

"Will you be okay to watch Avery for a little bit?" Clarke asked Lacy. "I need to get Becca to the hospital, she's hurt pretty bad."

"You don't want to take her with you?"

"Sitting around in an emergency waiting room for hours isn't exactly fun for a three-year-old. Hopefully it won't take to long, but I can't take her, and Becca really needs someone."

Lacy nodded her head in understanding. "Alright, go then."

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Clarke walked over and gave Avery a kiss on the top of her head. "You be good for Lacy. I'll be back soon." And then she was out the door.

It was just under three hours later when she returned home. Luck had been on their side and they had seen a doctor quickly and got Becca stitched up. Clarke had got her all situated at home with a promise to stop by and check on her in a few hours before making her way to her own home.

The first thing she found unusual was that Lacy was alone in the living room, the TV was on, there was an empty plate on the coffee table, and she was texting on her phone. Avery was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Avery?"

"She was making too much noise, so I told her to go play in her room," Lacy said offhandedly.

Clarke growled but she didn't say anything. She tried to tell herself that Lacy just wasn't used to little kids. She'd have a talk with her later about keeping a better eye on kids that small.

She made her way down the small hallway and her anger rose just a little more to see Avery's door shut. She knew Avery wouldn't shut it herself and Clarke had told Lacy that they didn't close her door. The girl was tall enough now to open doors, but the knobs in her apartment were different then Avery was used to, and they were hard for her to open.

When Clarke walked into Avery's room, her anger rose even more. Her little girl was laying in the middle of her floor, tears pouring from her eyes. She ran to her side and pulled her into her arms, hugging her close.

"What's the matter, sweet girl?"

"I not mean too, I promise. I tried, but door won't open," Avery spoke in broke sobs.

Clarke's heart broke at her daughter's words. Avery was beyond upset, and she didn't know why. Until she saw the puddle where her daughter and been laying.

"I not mean too."

"Oh, baby. I know. It was an accident. Even big girls have accidents," Clarke reassured, but inside she was seething. She could tell by the smell and the how it had started to dry that Avery's accident had happened a while ago. "Did you call for help?" She was sure she knew the answer, but she asked anyway.

"I called, Lacy no come. I called for you, but you not here." Avery's sobs were quieting now that her mom was there, but she was still so upset.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I had to take my friend to the hospital cause she had a big cut on her hand."

"Did she get a bandaid?"

Clarke tried to smile so that Avery would feel better, but she was barely holding it together. "She did, a really big one."

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"You didn't have lunch?" Avery shook her head. Clarke was livid now. She didn't care how much experience Lacy did or didn't have with children, there was no excuse to what she'd now walked into. "Alright let's get you cleaned up and then we'll get some lunch."

She wanted to walk out to the living room and throw Lacy out of her house, but Avery needed to be the priority right now. She picked the little girl up and took her to the bathroom to give her a quick bath and wash the pee off her.

Once Avery was dressed again and back to her happy self, Clarke made her a sandwich. "How about if I let you watch a movie on my bed while you eat?"

"For real?" Avery asked excitedly. She never got to eat in the bedroom.

"For real." She didn't want Avery hearing the argument that was going to be taking place. She got her all settled in before making her way back to the living room.

Try to stay calm Clarke, don't make a big scene. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems. Inside though she knew it was. When she walked back into the living room Lacy was now talking on the phone. She grabbed it from the other girl's hand and hung up on whoever it was.

"Hey, that was rude," Lacy protested. "That was an important conversation."

"Did you know Avery's door was closed?"

"Yeah, she was just so loud, so I closed it."

That's strike one. "You closed it, after I told you she can't get it open?"

"I forgot, what's the big deal? She's fine."

So, you deliberately locked my daughter in her room? Clarke thought to herself. "Did you at least check on her?"

"Of course, she was in there playing. Seemed to be enjoying herself."

"When's the last time you check on her?"

"Like right before you got home. What's with all the questions?"

"You checked on her just before I got home, and she was just fine?" Lacy nodded. If Clarke was a violent person she would have punched Lacy by now. The other woman was not only negligent, but she was lying too. "So, you didn't notice she'd had a potty accident?"

"No, must have happened after."

"Did you give her lunch?"

"She never said she was hungry."

Clarke's eyes moved down to the plate sitting on the coffee table. "So, you fixed yourself something but it never occurred to you that my toddler might be hungry?"

Lacy huffed. "How am I supposed to know if she never says anything."

"You mean with all the crying and screaming from the other side of the door never gave you a clue that she needed something" Clarke was losing it now.

Lacy had a bit of fear in her eyes at this point. She knew she was caught. But she tried to lie her way out of it.

"Stop, just stop. My daughter is three years old. You feed her lunch whether she asks for it or not because she is a child and you are the adult. She's potty trained, but that only works if she can get to the bathroom. Which also means you never even bothered to even check up on her because her accident happened quite a while ago. I can tell because it had already started to dry to her clothes."

She took a step closer and let her anger show. "My little girl was curled up in a ball, crying her eyes out while lying in her own pee and you're in here texting. I want you out of this apartment and I never want to see you again."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do. Obviously, you don't understand the concept of Avery and I are a packaged deal. She is my number one priority and if you can't even be bothered to watch her for a few hours then I don't need you in my life. Now leave!"

"She left pretty quickly after that. I found out a few weeks later that I wasn't the only one she'd dug her heels into. There was another girl and a guy as well. She was looking for anyone that would have a high paying job, so she never had to work."

"What a gold digging bitch," Lexa growled. She couldn't believe someone would do that to Avery. Just lock her in a room at only three years old. Her poor baby. Her baby, someday.

"Yep. After that I didn't date. I didn't talk about Avery. I never wanted to let anyone close enough to hurt her like that. By the next day she had forgotten it, but I never did. I never wanted to be in a position for that to happen again."

"I get it, Clarke. I do," Lexa told her. "I can't say it doesn't still hurt, but I understand why."

"Just so we're clear, I know your nothing like her. I did try to tell you so many times, but the words just stayed locked away. It had been so long since I'd talked about her to anyone but family that I could get it out."

"It's okay. It might take some time, but I'll get over it. I'm so sorry you both had to go through that," Lexa told her, sincerely. She could imagine coming home to find her own child in that state when you left them with someone you thought you could trust. "If I ever cross paths with her, I'll find something to arrest her on."

Clarke looked into those green eyes and smiled at how serious Lexa was right then. She knew she would do it, too. "I love you, so much."

Lexa returned the smile. "I love you, too. Let's get home and end this date on a much happier note."

"Deal."

A/N: So this was a big undertaking for me, I hope it came off well. I needed something that was traumatizing to Clarke, but not really to Avery (because if it had done that more permanent damage to Avery of course Clarke would have told her parents.)