A/N: I so did not mean to let you all go this long between chapters. I was having a horrible time trying to get this chapter written. Hopefully it doesn't suck.

I went and read through all the other chapters to try and find inspiration and man the mistakes. I'll have to go back and fix those someday.

Chapter 21

Making their way back to Clarke's house, she felt a million times lighter. She'd finally told someone about Lacy, more importantly she'd told Lexa about that horrible day. She'd never forgive herself for that day, but at least she didn't have to carry it alone anymore.

She reached out and took Lexa's hand in her own as she navigated through the mostly empty streets. "Thanks for tonight. For listening."

Lexa covered their clasped hands with her free one and gave it a gentle squeeze. "No thanks necessary. You can tell me anything, I'll always be here to listen." She was promising Clarke as much as herself.

As they entered the house through the garage door, they only sound that could be heard came from the apartment just above the garage. Derek had taken up residence up there for the time being, which Clarke was happy about. He'd lived there once before when Clarke was a toddler, so it wasn't unfamiliar to him.

With Avery gone for the night, the two women made their way up the stairs and to their room. By unspoken agreement, they both change into sleepwear and crawl into bed, cuddling close together. They weren't ready for sleep yet, they both just felt the need to be together.

"There was something else I wanted to talk to you about," Clarke spoke up finally, breaking the quiet moment.

Inside Lexa had a moment of panic, because what else could there possibly be at this point. She didn't let it show, however. "What's that?"

"Your lease is up soon isn't it?"

Lexa didn't answer right away, trying to figure out where Clarke was going with this. "Yeah, in a few weeks." She hadn't already renewed because at the time she was pretty confident she'd be moving in with Clarke anyway.

"What would you think about moving into my apartment?"

That made Lexa pause. It wouldn't be difficult really, most of her stuff is already over at Clarke's, not that she had a whole lot of belongings to begin with. Her apartment came furnished, so beyond her clothes, kitchen ware, and other essentials there wasn't much move. "You want me to move into your apartment when you're not going to be there."

Clarke smiled, she knew Lexa was confused, but she'd thought a lot about this. It seemed to make the most sense. "That's kind of the point. Hear me out. It'll be at least a month, maybe longer before I can even make it out there to pack everything up. So, it'll just sit there empty. Plus, it's also closer to the station, which is why you've been staying there so much anyway."

She stayed at Clarke's because she was there but being closer to work was a nice bonus. It saved her a lot of commute time. But Clarke also lived in a much pricier area, one that she couldn't afford on her own. "What your saying does make sense, I agree. But I can't afford that rent on my own," she admitted quietly.

"You wouldn't have too…" Clarke started but was interrupted just as quickly.

"No, you can't be paying rent on a place you're not even living. That wouldn't be fair." Lexa jumped right in. It would make her feel to much like she owed Clarke for it. She fully believed they'd survive the distance and she'd make a new home in California, but what happens if she doesn't? Then she'd lose everything, her love and her home.

"If you would have let me finish," Clarke smirked. "You don't have to pay any rent, at least for the next four months."

Lexa studied her seriously, trying to figure out just what her girlfriend was up too. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember I told you my parents paid for my place in college?" Lexa nodded her head. "Well they still haven't stopped. They wanted me to focus on just make it through my internship and my sixty plus hours a week before worrying about finances. That apartment is paid up through July."

"You want me to live there, rent free?"

Clarke knew Lexa worked hard and didn't take things easily. There was no reason why she couldn't talk her into this though. She wasn't going to give up. "Yeah, with the money you save if you really wanted to you could afford to pay what I hope would be the last month or two left out there before coming here."

That sounded fairly practical to Lexa. As Clarke said she would probably be in D.C. a while after the current rent ran out. She'd still have to pay something.

"Although I'd much rather you let me help those other months as well and put your money towards moving here, moving home." Because it already felt like this was home, for both of them now and she could see in Lexa's face that she felt the same way.

"Let's worry about that part when we get to it," Lexa conceded. She was agreeing to this, going against her own pride. What Clarke said though, it did make sense. She'd be closer to work, so she'd have more time to study for her exam. Clarke's place would be occupied so it would keep looters from getting any ideas. The bonus would be she would be surrounded by her girlfriend's stuff so maybe she wouldn't miss her so bad.

"You played this so well. You get out of helping me move," she teased.

Clarke laughed at that. "To true. When the time comes, I'll help you move here, much harder," she promised. "So you'll do it?"

"Yeah, I'll do it. On one condition."

"Anything," Clarke quickly agreed.

"We need to take a nice photo of the three of us that I can hang up there." She briefly wondered if Clarke had any photos of Avery anywhere in the apartment. She'd obviously never noticed any, but that didn't mean she didn't have some put away somewhere where she could look at them if she wanted too.

"That can definitely be arranged."

"Good."

Clarke leaned over and gave Lexa what was meant to be a quick kiss, but quickly turned into much more. It felt like so long since they'd exchanged more than a quick peck, that she immediately lost herself in it. The dance was a familiar one as they laid down next to each other, neither bothering to break the kiss.

It wasn't until Clarke felt Lexa's hand slip under her shirt that her body pulled on the breaks. She broke the kiss and looked at Lexa's loving face. A tear appeared and ran down onto the sheet between them. "I'm sorry," she sniffled.

Lexa immediately wrap her arms around the other woman and pulled her in close. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You're still grieving, and that's okay," she whispered into her ear. "It doesn't change how much I love you. We'll get this back someday."

"What if we never do. That I never feel it again?"

"It probably seems that way right now, but I'm sure you'll want to be intimate again someday. And if you don't, we'll still be okay," Lexa promised. She wasn't with Clarke for sex, it was a nice bonus, but she was with her because she could imagine her life without her.

"Let's just get some sleep, okay?" She encouraged. Lexa knew this day had been emotional for Clarke, after telling her about Lacy, so the other woman really needed sleep.

Clarke nodded her head into Lexa's shoulder and cuddled in closer. As long as she was in Lexa's arms, everything would be okay. She fully believed that.

~CL~

The next couple of days went by quickly for the trio. They spent as much time together as they possibly could. Either watching movies or playing games, even just sitting around quietly with each other.

As promised, they took not just one, but several photos together, enough to decorate the whole apartment twice over if Lexa really wanted to print them all. They did buy one of those digital frames for each of them and load all the photos onto them, so all three of them would have those memories until they could be together again.

Abby still spent a good amount of time in her room, but when she did come out she was more engaged then she had been before. She, too, knew their time with Lexa was coming close to an end, but she made her own promise to keep in touch with the other woman. She was part of the family now.

Derek joined them one night to officially announce he was moving back home, to no one's surprise. He would be heading out to Montana the next week to formally quit his job and pack his things up. Clarke and Abby both insisted he stay in the apartment above the garage, at least until he got settled into a new job.

When Saturday morning came, Clarke tried to avoid getting up. It was the first morning she could ever remember wishing it would last longer. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to Lexa.

She laid there, watching the other woman sleep. She ran a delicate hand over a tan shoulder and down her arm, holding tight to her hip. Even in sleep, Lexa leaned into the touch. "I love you so much," she spoke whispered. "I never would have got through this without you."

"You would have," Lexa answered back, pulling herself from sleep. "You would have had Avery, Trish, and Derek there to help you through it."

"I would have," Clarke agreed. "But it's not the same thing. You were my strength."

Lexa smiled at the thought. She was glad that she was able to help Clarke in whatever compacity she could.

They laid there in bed as long as they could, just enjoying the ability to touch each other. Something they would both miss. When they couldn't put it off any longer, the climbed out of bed and dressed quietly.

Lexa had already packed her stuff all up the night before, so it didn't take her long to get everything ready and loaded in the car. Avery wasn't about to be left behind this time, so after quickly getting dressed herself, she joined her mom and Lexa at the car.

The three of the stopped off at a small diner for breakfast since they hadn't eaten yet. There wasn't much conversation flowing between them this time, however. All of them were feeling the weight this day was bringing them. In just two shorts weeks they had really started to feel like a family.

The airport was bustling with travels when they finally made their way there. Clarke found the closest park she could in temporary parking. There was no way she was letting Lexa walk in alone.

She took hold of Lexa's suitcase in her right hand, so she could hold Lexa's with her left. She knew without asking that Avery would want to stay close her girlfriend as well.

"I am so not ready for this," Clarke admitted once they reached the point where they would have to say goodbye.

"Me either," Lexa agreed. "Well talk, we'll text, we'll skype," she reassured. They'd set Lexa up her own skype account and showed her how to use it.

Clarke wrapped an arm around Avery and held her into her side. "As soon as schools out, we'll come see you," she promised. "Right, little one?"

Avery sadly nodded. She pulled away from her mother and ran over and gave Lexa a giant hug. "You promise we'll see you again?"

Clarke cringed at the word promise. So much could happen between them, but she knew that Avery just needed some reassurances.

"I promise we'll see each other again. You'll come visit me soon," Lexa reassured. "I'll do my very best to come home to you and your mom as soon as I can."

"I love you, Lexa."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," Lexa hugged her tight and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You take care of your mom for me."

Once they finally let go, Clarke took her daughter's place and held tight to Lexa. "You be safe out there. No daring heroics," she made Lexa promise. She never voiced how much Lexa being a cop worried her at times. But now she wouldn't be there to yell at the doctors if something did happen. "I love you."

"I love you, too. More than you'll ever know," Lexa held tighter. "I promise, I'll do everything in my power to come back, to come home."

With one last lengthy kiss, the two pulled apart. Clarke and Avery stood there watch as Lexa moved through the line in security and then out of sight.

"Come on, baby girl. Let's head home."