Hey everyone, I apologize for the long wait. Between writer's block and my computer going down at the end of last year, I've been bouncing between any available computer and handwriting a lot of this chapter. I'm kinda tired to be honest, so I apologize if its not the best chapter. I really am trying to really get the plot moving, but nothing seems to be to my satisfaction LOL. I hope you enjoy and thanks for being there and for your patience with me. I really do appreciate you all. Take care in these crazy times and as always:

Stay Caffeinated~~

Visions of the brothel room flash around me.

Blood. Flesh. Organs.

The sound of metal scraping bone digs into my ears.

I crouch down trying to block out the sound.

"Stop!"

The coppery smell of blood pierces my nose as I feel my hands push the blade further into his body

His screams are muffled by the cloth crammed into his mouth

The snapping of bones sends a violent shiver through me

"He deserved it!"

Their faces appear in front of me. Their little cries...

Their hands reaching out.

Grabbing hold of anything. Pushing against me as if they could move me.

As if they were even that strong...

"They weren't real!"

''For such tiny things, they had so much blood in them. Don't you think?'

A shadowy form asks as it begins to circle me. She runs a hand over my back as if to comfort me.

Her fingers were sharp. Cold. Wet.

"Shut up!"

I try to shift away from her. To ignore her low chuckles.

"People have so much blood in them." She whispers as if that fact impressed her so much.

I swat her away from me. I try to move, but she grabs hold of me.

"LET GO!"

"We really are just walking bags of blood. Waiting to be punctured"

She flips me to my back so that I could see her face.

Something sharp plunges in to my chest.

I wake with a start in a cold sweat as I take a minute to gather my surroundings. My shaky grip finally loosening on my bow as I reassure myself that I'm safe. My eyes fall to the center of our little camp and note that the fire is nothing more but small starving embers neglected by the sleepy Okimi. I exhale slowly running a still shaky hand over my face before inadvertently sliding it down to my chest. Over my heart. I feel my throat tighten as my stomach swirls with unease threatening to purge what little food rested within.

My hand then slides to my lower abdomen. Waiting, but nothing happens. No sickening movement of something extra within. I was never one to be against the idea of having children. Honestly, I never put much thought in to it before…but now…

I feel phantom movements within me. Jerks and kicks that I knew weren't really there, but caused my stomach to swirl and twist in protest regardless. I bite back the burp and bile as I cover my mouth.

Yeah, fuck that shit now.

Slowly, I creep my way towards the sleeping Renkotsu and expertly slip the gourd from his person-a skill that Bankotsu decided to teach me while resting at a village some time ago. To his dismay, instead of keeping what I stole, I would use it as an opportunity to teach villagers better ways to guard their belongings, but I've kept my skills sharp by practicing on these idiots.

I pour the flammable liquid onto the embers allowing them to grow brighter and stronger before settling in front of the fire, tossing the meager lumps of wood Okimi collected into it.

An hour. Maybe two.

That's about as much sleep as I have been able to get lately thanks to that little perverted troll Mukotsu. I couldn't trust sleep anymore meaning I was exhausted most of the day and that was starting to show. I'm missing targets more and more to the point that Bankotsu has reduced me to staying on the side lines when able or going through and finishing off any one who was still alive.

But there is a part of me that enjoys that more. Walking through a silent battle ground. Kicking at bodies to see if they made any noises or moved. Listening to them beg for mercy when I do find a live one.

I shake my head.

They didn't understand. What I was doing WAS merciful. They were going to die; at least with me, I can make it quick.

'For some at least'

I ignore the voice's snide comment knowing those who it was referring to. "They fought me first." I mutter, "They refused to accept their fate. They tried to run. They didn't understand that I was helping them. They didn't understand that if they ran from me, they would run into them." I clench my jaw glaring at the visions of past soldiers struggling to crawl away from me. Screaming for help as if I were some sort of monster.

ME! A MONSTER!?

"So I showed them." I mutter darkly, "I showed them the alternative. Showed them what would happen if any of the others got a hold of them."

A lot of them became more accepting after that.

Okimi hums and shifts in her sleep breaking my line of thought and I cover my face with my hands.

I am still a good person.

I am not the bad guy.

Some people just had to be shown that.

I glance over at Okimi's sleeping form once more. A sense of pride begins to well up in me at the fact that I have kept her alive for this long. Would a bad person do that? I think to the voice within me. I just have to get her to a village is all. Just a day or so more and she'll be safe.

And it will all be because of me.

See, I'm a good person.

I continue to watch her sleep. Studying the slow and steady rise and fall of her chest.

'But wouldn't it be easier if you'd just kill her?'

I flinch at the suggestion.

'One less thing you have to worry about'

As if to prove its point, flashes of the last four days replay in my head. The exhausting nightmares and general sleepless nights, the constant wallops and punches delivered to that short gross man every time he caressed me or Okimi.

I pull my knees to my chest and rest my forehead on them closing my eyes. All of it was becoming more and more exhausting.

'Just kill her.'

My grip on my legs tighten as the voice bounces from one ear to the other

'It'll make things just a bit easier. '

"Shut up." I mutter trying my damnedest to ignore the voice

'She'll die regardless. You know it's true. You tend to have that effect on people.'

It laughs softly as it continues to slither over my body,

'They all die in the end. Wouldn't killing her yourself be the most merciful thing do?

I sit up burying my face in my hands

'A good person would do it.'

I dig my nails in to my skin.

'A good person would drag her in to the fire.'

A low whimper escapes me.

'A good person would hold her there. Just to make sure'

A sharp piercing scream echoes through my mind and I jerk my body back clamoring to my feet in the process as if that would put distance between myself and the vision.

I grip my trembling hands as I stand awkwardly in the middle of our campsite. Slow forced exhales escape me as I bring my mind back to the present and shove the voice down, choking it in to complete silence.

I hug myself trying to shake off the sudden chill that settled over me before walking back over to the fire, but the flames brought me no warmth. After a moment, I began to move again. Gently, with little sound as if my feet were trying to keep me from acknowledging what they were doing.

They stop a few feet from their destination and I quietly study him. His arms crossed, feet crossed at the ankles, head low with the steady rise and fall of his chest being the only indication of life. My feet push me forwards despite my resistance and soon I find myself on my knees next to him.

Don't touch him. I scold myself as my fingers twitch and my hand slowly rises. If you do, he'll wake up. Then what will you do? My hand freezes with my fingertips just barely grazing his cheek. Curling my fingers back into my palms, I pull my hand back as irritation begins to swell inside my chest, but I cannot determine if it was because I came over here in the first place or if he is able to sleep so soundly when I cannot.

Gripping the fabric on the tops of my thighs, I continue to glare at the sleeping Bankotsu while inflating my cheeks. What sort of leader sleeps better than his men? He should be up, standing guard or something right? What if we're attacked or ambushed!? I feel my eyes narrow in to slits. This is probably how Mukotsu was able to drag me off into the woods to begin with.

"Sleeping ass mother fucker..." I mutter before flexing my hand slightly and loading my middle finger against my thumb. Carefully, I position it close to his temple.

He's slept long enough.

I put as much force as I could into my thump and he jerks awake, muscles tense as he quickly scans the campsite for his attacker. I hear a sharp intake and flinch as his fist comes dangerously close to my face stopping in time only because he realized it was me.

"DAMN IT, YARUKI!"

I crack my eyes open to see him hunched over, hands in his face and exhaling.

"Did I scare you?"

"I almost punched you in the fucking face, what do you think?"

A smirk tugs at my lips, "Huh...seems like someone's slipping up. I could have killed you, you know?"

He tilts his head towards me, and I catch the cold glare through his fingers. "I won't stop it the next time." He lets out another low exhale as he leans back running his hands through his bangs before absently caressing his temple. He suddenly throws me a suspicious look, "Did you hit me?"

I chew on my cheek at bit, "I don't feel good."

"So, you hit me?"

"It made me feel a little bit better." I shrug

He mutters a low string of gentle curses at me before closing his eyes again. I watch as his breathing steadies out and he fold his arms over his chest once more. After a moment though, he cracks open an eye, "Can I help you with something else?"

I ignore the look of mild irritation on his face as my lips part, but my voice catches in my throat.

Why did I wake him up?

My chest suddenly feels tight as we continue to look at each other, and I clear my throat a bit to see if that would loosen my voice.

"I…. uh…I can't sleep." I mutter softly as my face grows warm.

"Why not?"

I growl softly glaring at him, "Well if I knew that I wouldn't be bothering you, now would I?"

"You scared?"

"No!" I say indignantly hardening my glare.

He studies me for a moment longer before furrowing his brows as if in deep thought, "Hmmm, weeeellll…" he lets out a low sigh, "Yeah, I guess I could put you to sleep if you want me to."

I blink, "R-really?! H-how? "

I see a mischievous grin form on his face as he lifts an eyebrow, "You want me to?"

I give him a weary look, "W-what are you going to do?" Suddenly I swell up in anger, "If you fucking hit me- "

He laughs, "I wasn't going to hit you…although you deserve it."

The sudden sternness in the last part of his comment douses a bit of my anger as I cautiously continue to study him.

"So, do you want my help or not?"

"…I feel like this is a trap." I say narrowing my eyes at him.

He shrugs, "Fine, whatever. I can sleep no problem." He settles back and I let out a low begrudging moan.

"F-fine."

He looks over at me a slight look of disbelief on his face, "Geez, you really must be out of it huh?"

"Are you gonna help me or- "

He pulls me towards him by the collar of my kimono and presses his lips carefully to mine while his free hand buries itself in my hair. The initial shock immediately wears off and I pull away struggling not to slap him, "I knew it was a fucking trap you asshole!"

"It's not a trap!"

"You said you'd help me!"

"Well shit I can't just jump right in. You gotta give me a minute."

It suddenly clicks on how he'll "help me" and I feel my face explode as my hand- of its own accord- swings towards him.

He catches my slap with ease before holding his finger up at me, "No! You said it was ok."

"I didn't know that's what you meant!"

"How could you not know!?"

We both fall silent glaring at one another for a moment before he pulls me back down in to another kiss.

"Will you fucking stop it?!" I say finally managing to pull away from him. I try not to linger on the fact that it was getting harder and harder to pull away from him or on the fact that I am feeling surprisingly better than when I first started talking to him.

"It's getting easier to kiss you now."

"Just like it's getting easier to stab you?"

He chuckles and I try to put more space between us, but he doesn't allow it. After a long moment of quiet staring, I begin to get uncomfortable under his gaze and then the discomfort melts to irritation, "What!?"

"I'm trying to decide something."

I narrow my eyes at him, "Decided what?"

"If I want to put that much effort into you."

"Effort?"

He leans away from me a bit as if apprising me, "...On one hand," he begins talking more to himself than to me, "you're pretty much a blank slate, so the possibilities are endless …"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He gently hums to himself, "...but then there is that defiant streak of yours...which to an extent is actually pretty sexy."

"I know you can hear me."

He lets out a heavy lazy sigh, "But that also means there's some training I need to put you through first…"

"Excuse you?!"

"...But I can't go too far else you'll lose it completely and that won't be much fu- GAH!"

I give his cheeks an extra hard pinch before letting them go, "Now that I have your atten-"

"Did you really just do that!?" He asks incredulously while rubbing his face.

"Attention! What are you-"

"That shit kinda hurt!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You done being a little bitch or do you want me to wait a bit longer."

He blinks before letting out a low breathy laugh nodding his head gently to himself, "God, I'm going to enjoy breaking the shit out of you."

I make a movement to leave tugging at my wrist that was still in his grasp. His grip tightens as he continues to stare down at me.

"Let. Go."

"See," he begins lightly, "that's part of the problem. You don't give me orders."

"I do when it involves my body, and when I'm fucking sick of you touching me." I begin to fight against his grip, but he doesn't let go. "I'm not joking. Let. Me. Go."

"Or what?"

"Or…or…" I take a moment to assess my predicament. I am pretty much in his lap at this point with one hand in his grasp while the other is propping me up to avoid being fully pressed against his chest. "I'll…I'll head butt you in the fucking throat."

"Go ahead."

I narrow my eyes at him but remain perfectly still. Although I can't quite pinpoint what it is, there is another emotion there. Hidden behind the calm casualty of his tone.

Something that sent a small wave of fear and uncertainty through me.

I press my lips into a hard line never breaking my glare. He cocks his head ever so slightly, "Change your mind?"

"Shut uaaaah!"

His face remains stoic as he continues to twist my wrist; not enough to cause any damage, but enough to cause pain.

I fight the urge to snatch it away fearing I would do more harm than good.

"If you kiss me, I'll let you go."

"Go fuck yourselAAAAHHHHH."

I fall into his chest to adjust my wrist to counter his twisting.

"Be a shame if this pretty little wrist of yours suddenly snapped wouldn't it?"

I whimper slightly as I bury my face into the crook of his neck.

He lets out a low bored sigh as he eases up, "Let's see…I guess your first lesson will be something along the lines of being mindful on how you speak to me, yeah?"

"hnnnnggg…. let goaaahhhhh, STOP!"

"Hmm, no, no, you're right." I feel him run a hand through my hair as if to soothe the pain he's causing, "You like to give out a lot of orders and that's a bit problematic seeing as how that's not your place."

I dig my nails into his upper arm trying to match the pain he's inflicting on me, but he doesn't seem fazed by it.

"So, I think that will be your first lesson instead, ok?" He eases up tremendously on my wrist as he lowers his head to my ear, "You don't give me orders. You take them. Got it?" The tone of his voice was low and dark, but not in a violent way, more possessive and dominating.

I say nothing but take the opportunity to pull at my wrist to free it from his loosened grip. He tightens his hold immediately.

"I asked you a question." He reminds me softly and I dig my nails deeper hoping to break skin through the fabric at some point.

"Fine." I hiss lowly.

He's quiet for a moment before letting out an unsatisfied hum, "I guess that will do for now. We'll work on your tone later."

He continues to hold my wrist but eases on his grip. I exhale slowly before putting my full weight against him. I feel him tense under me to support the sudden added weight. He then shifts slightly so that his back was again against the tree before relaxing again himself.

He finally releases my wrist, but instead of using it to push away from him like I had originally planned, I tuck it safely between our bodies and out if his reach before readjusting so that my shoulder now rested against him and my head was still cradled against his neck.

He wraps his arms around me and after a moment begins to chuckle softly, "You know, all you had to do was ask if you wanted me to- "

"Don't- "

The start of the command slipped out before I could stop it and I feel his eyes on me. Reflexively, I pull my wrist a bit closer to me, "…y-you'll ruin it if you say it out loud…" I mutter.

He chuckles again, but thankfully says nothing.

It was bad enough that I figured out why I woke him up. It was bad enough that there was a part of me that wanted this, but at least- if it remained unspoken- I could chop it up to him forcing me to be against him. Him leaving me no option but dealing with it with as much grace as I could muster.

Saying it out loud. Giving any sort of validation to it, would undo what little sense and sanity I'm struggling to cling to now.

After all, there is positively NO WAY IN HELL, I could possibly find any comfort in this asshole's arms.

That would be fucking insane.

"GAaaaahhhh! You little Bitch!"

My eyes snap open at the sudden cry and I scan the camp finally landing eyes on Okimi who's back is against a tree. Her trembling arms out in front of her with the knife I loaned her pointing shakily at the doubled over Mukotsu. Her top is torn slightly exposing her chest. She spits off to the side quickly pressing the back of her hand to her mouth before flicking her brown eyes over to me. Pleadingly.

I feel Banktosu's grip around me tighten as I jerk forwards, "Don't." he mutters against my neck before lazily lifting his head up and directing his sleepy gaze over to the commotion, "Mukotsu, what did you do?"

I feel my temper get the best of me as I continue to struggle against his grip, "The fuck you mean 'what did you do'. What's it look like he-"

"Yaruki, shut up."

"Fuck you! Let me go!"

His grip tightens again painfully pressing me against his body, "Was that an order?" He asks lowly in my ear and I snarl.

"You're a piece of shit, you know that."

"Am I now?" He looks back up to the scene before us, "Hey!"

Okimi jerks in surprise before looking at him.

"You just attacked one of my men."

"H-h-h-he...he attacked me first." she mutters meekly.

"Bankotsu..." I warn lowly

"That doesn't matter." he continues ignoring me, "You don't attack my men."

I see her face pale. "Bankotsu!"

"Renkotsu...punish her will you."

"BANKTOSU!" I struggle harder to get out of his iron fucking grip, but he keeps me pinned.

"God, I love the way my name sounds coming from you..."

My face flares at his comment and a swirl of disgust hits my stomach at my reaction.

Okimi screams swinging her blade towards Renkotsu. He dodges it easily snatching her wrist and tossing the blade to the side.

"SO HELP ME, RENKOTSU-"

Bankotsu's hand flies over my mouth sealing it shut. "Don't kill her, Renkotsu," he says as I feel him press his face against the crook of my neck, "Just make her wish she were dead."

I watch in silent horror as Renkotsu drags the screaming Okimi off. She does her best to fight against him, but a solid punch to the side of her head zaps whatever fight was in her.

The camp goes quiet save for the soft groans of Mukotsu who still remains motionless on the ground cupping himself.

'See, I told you.

You should have killed her when you had the chance.'

I shut my eyes as if that would drown out the voice within me. I grind my teeth as another wave of nausea hits my stomach. She was right. Had I just killed Okimi last night, I would have saved her from all of this.

"Come on. Now you're ignoring me?"

Banktosu's voice in my ear pulls me from my thoughts. His grip is a lot looser than before and his hand is no longer covering my mouth. I test out this new freedom to seeing how far he would let me go, but his grip tightens quickly at my movements.

"You're a hard one to read, Yaruki. Just last night, you wanted me to hold you, and now you act like you can't get away from me fast enough. You women sure love to give off mixed signals."

I keep my eyes forwards, not even bothering to acknowledge him.

"Look at me, yeah."

I don't move.

"Yaruki."

His hand reaches up to grab my chin and I snatch my head away. He lets out a soft sigh and for a moment is quiet, "Jaktosu, take Genkotsu and round up some food."

Jaktosu lets out an annoyed groan, but does as he's told leaving only us and the wallowing Mukotsu. I hear him clear his throat awkwardly after another moment or two of silence,"Not gonna lie, I kinda expected you to throw your usual tantrum by now. This reaction is new."

I grant him no response as I keep my eyes in the direction where Renkotsu dragged Okimi off. After another moment, he sighs and directs his attention to Mukotsu, "Hey, you ok down there?"

Mukotsu lets out another soft whimper.

"She kick you?"

"...s-s-s...she bit me..."

I feel Bankotsu tense up underneath me at Mukotsu's response and despite my anger, a snort of laughter escapes me, "Serves you right. I hope she bit the fucking thing off."

Mukotsu lets out another whimper in response.

Banktosu sighs, "Well, I can't really say you didn't ask for it, Mukostu. What did you think would happen if you go around sticking your dick in a girl's mouth?"

He lets out low whine and I feel my lip curl, "Oh, suck it up you big baby. There isn't any blood so clearly she didn't bite down hard enough."

"Clearly. Because had she, I would have had her killed based on sheer principle."

I twist my body just enough to throw him an icy glare and he takes advantage of that to firmly grab hold of my chin, locking my head in place. My look intensifies as he quietly studies my face and smirks. "I've told you before about looking at me like that haven't I?"

I keep my mouth sealed tight.

"Still not speaking to me?"

"..."

"Aww, but you were saying my name so beautifully just seconds ago."

Another involuntary blush seeps across my face as I use my hands to push his away from me. He laughs before turning me completely around so that I was facing him.

"Say my name again."

"You're disgusting."

"No, I'm Bankotsu. Now's not the time for you to get confused, Yaruki."

"I fucking hate you."

"That's fine." He leans back against the tree studying my face, "Say my name again."

"Asshole."

He lets out an annoyed sigh, "You're a real pain the ass, you know that?"

"..."

"You do realize I've killed women for doing less than half the shit you pull on a daily basis right?"

"..."

"Crushed their windpipes. Broke their necks. Sliced them in half. Raped them."

"..."

"Although I admit that I'm partly to blame. I've spoiled you."

"..."

"So we're back to not speaking again?"

"..."

"Fine by me. I'd honestly prefer this versus your usual tantrums." He leans his head back against the tree and closes his eyes. I wait a little while before snatching and pulling at my forearms, but his grip remains. I try to stand but he pulls me back down and in to his chest.

"You're staying with me until they come back. He's not gonna kill her."

After a few more failed attempts, I give up, and true to his word, I remained in his hold for quite some time until Renkotsu returns dragging a bloodied and battered Okimi in his wake.

The sight of her causes my entire body to tense up and I suppose the look I gave Renkotsu was one Bankotsu did not care for because his hold tighens,"You go to her. Touch him, and I'll make sure she experiences things worse than what he did to her." he says lowly in my ear before releasing me.

I shove myself away from him and although the temptation to bolt towards Renkotsu and punch him clean across his face was great, I slowly make my way over to her. Her small unconscious form barely moving. Her face is swollen and bloodied, her clothes disheveled. Proof, that the son of a bitch did more to her than just beat her.

Had I just killed her...Just did as the voice suggested...she wouldn't be like this now. She's be in a far better place. Away from them. Away from me.

I carefully pull the girl in to my lap, lacing her fingers between mine. This was the second time. The second time Okimi had to suffer because of me. Had I just stayed next to her...Mukotsu wouldn't have tried anything. Had I just kept my fucking mouth shut, she wouldn't have had suffer Hiten.

Had I just killed her last night...

Jakotsu and Ginkotsu return after another hour or so with a few meager catches. The men eat and I remain next to Okimi. After breakfast, Bankotsu spurs us on.

Carefully, I manage to put the still unconscious Okimi on my back and I fall to the back of the group. We travel for the better part of the day. The others laughing and chatting as if the events of the morning didn't even happen.

By sundown, Bankotsu makes the order to stop and make camp. According to Renkotsu there was a village about a half days journey away meaning we would be there by tomorrow afternoon should we get an early start in the morning. The others proceed to start a fire and settle in for the night. Carefully, I readjust Okimi on my back before turning.

"And where do you think you're going?" The sound of Bankotsu's voice makes my skin crawl and the urge to run an arrow through his fucking skull becomes almost too great to control.

"I'm going to look for some water to clean her up. Is that ok with you?" I spit

I feel his eyes on me as I keep my back to him.

"Don't take too long and bring back food."

"Feed your goddamn self." I hiss readjusting the grip on my bow and quiver as best I could without dropping Okimi before stomping off in to the woods.

Half a day's journey; meaning I'd be at the village by sunrise. I let out slow steady breaths allowing my rage and spite to fight off my exhaustion. There was no way I was going to let her stay another night with us. I purposefully traveled in the wrong direction for a while before looping around the camp as quietly as I could so that I could get back on the path we were traveling earlier that day.

If I can just get her to that damn village. Away from them. Away from me.

My feet stumble over something beneath me and I land hard on my knees and wrist.

"Shit!" I hiss softly as I take a minute to wait for the pain to subside.

"A-a-are you ok?"

Okimi's voice startles me for a moment. I nod readjusting her with my good arm before attempting to rise with just my legs, "How long have you been awake?"

"A little while. You seemed so determined that I didn't want to disturb you."

"...I'm sorry." I say finally steadying myself and continuing. "I should have stayed with you. Watched you like I was supposed to be doing. But instead...I..."

She gently shakes her head, "It was only a matter of time. You hang around bad men, Yaruki. You're not safe."

"I'll be fine. You worry about yourself. When you get to the village, rest up. I'll snoop around see if I can't find some sort of job or other just to get them to move on as quickly as possible."

"Won't he be upset to know you snuck off?"

"Bankotsu can go eat a fat dick for all I care. Every last one of them...Well...maybe a fat pussy for Jakotsu...I think that would be more unpleasant for him."

Despite the pain, Okimi snorts out a laugh and I feel a smile tug at my own lips.

"You like Bankotsu, don't you?"

I feel my face scrunch up in displeasure at her sudden question, but I couldn't find the words to refute it.

"He's handsome." I finally say, "Very. Handsome." I roll my eyes as I feel my face grow warm, "But he's not the first very handsome man I've seen and most certainly won't be the last. So, to say I like him is no different and holds no more special meaning than if I say I like green or that I like foxes. It's just a stupid thing that I'm currently dealing with and will go away with time." I finish my sentence with a gentle dismissive wave of my sore hand, annoyed that she even got me to admit such a thing out loud.

"How do you know?"

I huff, "Because what I like changes with my mood or with age. When I was little, I hated rice because it reminded me of little maggots. I also hated fish, but as I grew, I got over it. Red was a color I liked for a long time and then BOOM, suddenly green is pretty to me. I don't pay that much attention to the things I like because most of the time what I like isn't something I like for long."

"But you like archery, don't you?"

"Archery is different. That's like saying you like to eat. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, it's something you need to do as a means of survival. I enjoy it more that sword-fighting, but at the end of the day, if using a sword helps me to live, I'll use it regardless of how I feel about it."

"What about things you love?"

Again my feet stumble, but I catch myself before falling, "The only things I love," I begin in a measured tone, "are my father and pork buns. One is dead, the other I can barely afford most of the time. So, your question is irrelevant."

"...Do you love Bankotsu?"

"No." I say without missing a beat, "That is impossible."

We both fall silent for a moment before I let out an annoyed grunt, "Look, there are some good qualities to him, I'll admit. He's loyal...actually has some standards...surprisingly fair and shockingly not power hungry." I chew on my lower lip for a moment trying to sort out everything that I want to say. "He's definitely...interesting. Arrogant as all shit, but at the same time...simple. He can be quite charming when he wants to be; a touch goofy if the mood strikes him, but he's still the man who took my father from me. And I will never forgive him for that." I finish softly.

"He likes you." she begins. Her words were careful, measured, like a person's steps as they crossed an iced over lake that was beginning to crack. "You don't see it though. At least, not completely."

"Trust me, I am fully aware of his...needless attention."

I feel Okimi shake her head gently, "No, you don't understand. It goes far beyond having his attention. He watches you, Yaruki."

I roll my eyes growing tired of this tedious conversation,"So does Mukotsu."

"Mukotsu's different. Despite his peeping, there is a bit of caution and fear in Mukotsu. Even in the short time he's been traveling with us, he knows what lines to cross and what lines to avoid. There are no lines with Bankotsu."

"The hell there aren't."

"Yaruki. You and I both know that if Bankotsu really wanted to-"

I stop suddenly and Okimi's sentence fades away before she could finish it. "He's not. End of story." I say making my tone darker than it really should. "Whether I like it or not, I am technically a part of his team. I am a mercenary just like the rest of them and I've proven myself time and time again to be just as efficient. I may not share their blood lust or their joy in killing, but I get the job done. And I'm damn good at it too. He won't risk that."

We were silent for a moment and I ready myself to begin again thinking the conversation had ended.

"Who are you trying to convince, Yaruki?" Her voice is so soft, so small that I almost didn't hear her.

"At the end of the day," she continues, "Men are men. They take what they want, when they want. They view us as nothing more than things to satisfy their needs. To own or possess. In this day and age, women are nothing more than items for men to collect."

She takes a minute to let her words sink in, "I admire you. Your strength. Your confidence. Your fearlessness, but you're in danger, and you don't even realize it." She gives off a soft chuckle, "You're blinded by vengeance, barreling head on into a blazing fire doused head to toe in oil."

'She thinks you're stupid.'

The voice whispers gently. I feel Okimi rest the side of her head against my shoulder, "I...I don't think this is the life you're father wanted for you. I don't think he'd want you too risk you're life doing something that won't even get him back."

'So not only is she implying your an idiot,

but now she thinks she knows your father better than you.

"There are better- safer- ways to make them pay...if that's what you truly desire."

'Because you're too weak to do it yourself'

"We can get help from the local authorities in the village. We can tell them...well...a-anything really. One look at them, one look at what they did to me, and they'll believe us."

'Because in her eyes your nothing more than a coward.

All bark and no bite. '

"But I know that you're father would want you to live. To be happy...this...this wasn't the life he wanted for-"

She lets out a sharp cry as she hits the ground and stays there for a moment allowing the pain to subside.

I don't apologize.

"What was my father's name?"

"...huh?"

"His. Name. What was it?"

"...I...I don't know."

I stand a little straighter still keeping my back to her, "How tall was he?"

"...I don't know"

"His age? His hair color? His eye color? His favorite meal?"

"Yaruki-"

"No!" I spin around glaring down at the tiny thing struggling to keep my trembling hands from grasping her already bruised neck, "You speak as if you knew him so well; these must be simple questions for you."

"Is it so uncommon for a father to want what's best for his daughter?! Can you really look me in the eyes and tell me this is the life he wanted for you?"

I clench my jaw tight knowing deep down that she was right, but something else within me refused to give her that satisfaction, so I continue to glare at her as she struggles to get her sore body to stand upright on its own.

The girl was far tougher than I really gave her credit for.

"I'm not trying to upset you...I just want to help. There isn't a whole lot I can do. I'm not a fighter. I'm not a quick thinker, but I am observant. I notice things others do not take the time to and I listen. When I say you're in danger, I don't just mean Bankotsu. You said so yourself when we first met that you weren't like them and I know you aren't...at least...not always."

My mouth twitches, "N-not...always?" I knew what she meant, but still...hearing it out loud...it sent a chill down my spine.

"You...you get this look in your eyes sometimes. Usually, after you finish a job, but lately, I've seen it more and more. Especially when you get mad. Really mad, I mean, not just frustrated, you know. You had that same look in your eyes when you were talking to Mukotsu that time. I thought...maybe...maybe if I reminded you of what you told me, you'd snap out of it. And you did. Which got me thinking that maybe...if you get away from them... if you let...let someone else...help you...help you avenge your father...then you'd be free to move on...to live the life your father wanted you to have. I figured if you stayed with me-"

"Stay with you?"

"W-w-well, I mean...it doesn't have to be with me, but...away from them. " A concerned look bleeds across her still slightly swollen face as she watches my reaction, "Its not good...it's not good for you to be with them. To be around them." Steps closer to me, "The you when you're not around them versus the you when you're near them are two completely different people."

I huff, "And you got this from what...a few weeks of knowing me? First, You pretend to know what my father's wishes are for me and now you're making the bold assumption that you know me better than I know myself."

"That's not-"

"I'm fine! At worse, I'm just tired, but other than that I am still the same person I have always been." I turn and crouch down so that she can climb on, but she makes no move towards me. I let out an annoyed sigh, "I'm sorry for dropping you." I say halfheartedly, "Now get on."

"I can walk."

"Barely. We are trying to make it there BEFORE the afternoon."

She remains where she is and I glance over my shoulder to her.

"Just...just think about what I said. You don't have to fight every battle on your own. Its ok to get help."

"Says the sore girl refusing to be carried."

She hobbles pass me not bothering to comment and I glare at her a bit miffed at her rejection.

I said sorry didn't I.

'Ungrateful little bitch'

Our pace slowed tremendously with Okimi trying to walk on her own and not allowing me to assist in any way. I glance around us every once in a while straining my ears for any noise of being followed. By now, Bankotsu definitely would know something was wrong and- no matter how much I try to deny it internally- a part of me hoped that he was worried. A part of me hoped that he was still up and waiting; arms folded with a scowl on his face. Perhaps a trickle of fear within him that maybe I was hurt or in trouble.

Even though there was a good bit of distance between us in the camp, he would have definitely caught up with us by now if he was even going to bother coming after me to begin with.

The thought of him not coming after us caused a sharp pang of...well...Anger? Hurt? Something to hit my chest. I couldn't quite be certain, but it annoyed me regardless.

"You realize the point of me doing this was so that Bankotsu WOULDN'T be able to catch us before we got in to town, right?"

Okimi's eyes remain ahead; all her focus on trying not to collapse from exhaustion. I huff rolling my eyes and continue to wait until the little idiot finally passed out. It wouldn't take long if her face was an indication.

"HALT IN THE NAME OF LORD YORISUKE!"

We both freeze seeing and I immediately snatch Okimi back behind me as I flash the patrolling guards a gentle smile before bowing, "Good Evening err Morning...I guess."

The head samurai doesn't respond at first holding his lantern up to study my face. He didn't seem to be an entitled ass like most samurai, but I could not deny that there was still an air of self-importance that lingered on him.

"Is something the matter?" I ask after his stare exceeded the time that made it appropriate.

"What is your business in the lands?" he finally asks and I straighten a bit.

"We're mere travelers looking for a place to rest."

"You've packed light to be travelers."

"It was a bit of a rushed decision."

"How so?"

I let out a low sigh, "Our village was recently attacked by demons. The Thunder Brothers is what they proclaimed themselves to be. We managed to escape and have been traveling for quite some time."

The samurai takes a minute again study my face before moving towards Okimi.

"What happened to your friend?"

"We ran into a bit of trouble-"

"Bandits?"

Okimi and I share quick glances, "Is this line of questioning really necessary? You see my companion is not in the best condition and it would be best if you let us pass so that I can get her the help she needs."

"I ask because there has been in increase of bandit activity in this area. If you have any information that could be of used to us, you should tell us now."

"Yes!" Okimi chimes and everyone's eyes fall to her, "But it was not the bandits themselves."

"Okimi," I warn softly, but she keeps her eyes on the samurai.

"They hired mercenaries."

"Okimi!"

She fights free from my grasp. "Five of them. They did this to me. They said that the bandits hired them to help attack the village."

"Mercenaries?!"

I quickly pull her back, slapping my hand hard over her mouth, "No! Not mercenaries...well, yes mercenaries, but they aren't working for the bandits." I force a hard laugh, "You must forgive her. She's confused and traumatized. The men she speaks of...th-they helped us. We were attacked by bandits and they came out of no where. It was a lot going on and there was a bit of confusion and-"

"So these men saved you and then just let you walk away on your own. Without payment."

"There are still good men-"

"SHE'S LYING! SHE'S GOOD AT IT!"

I do my best to snatch Okimi back, but what was once a slow moving stiff body suddenly became agile from desperation. She slips from my grasp once more before running amongst the men, "They've held her hostage for months now. You must save her. Save us!"

I let out another forced laugh trying to mask my rage and gaining the men's attention, "Sirs, honestly, do I look like a woman who's been held hostage. We were attacked by these bandits. While forcing themselves upon her, these mercenaries came and saved us. She's just getting the events confused."

"If I'm so confused then explain how I'm hurt and you're not. What sense would it make for men to force themselves on one girl at a time when two are available. Yaruki, please! This is your chance!"

I do my best to throw her a look that screams 'shut the fuck up', but the movement of the head samurai towards me causes me to adjust my face and give him my full attention.

He steps closer to me holding the light up so that I could see his face and to my surprise, a look of genuine concern is upon it, "Speak the truth woman. Are you in danger?"

I blink and for the first time in a long time, I was speechless. And in that moment of uncertainty, I began to truly take that question in to consideration.

Was I in danger? Perhaps...

'She's a liar. The only time you've ever been in danger is when you're alone'.

I pull my gaze away from the samurai as I struggle to get my mouth to work once more.

'The Lord only came when Bankotsu was gone.'

'Those men at the bar. Only bothered you because Bankotsu wasn't around.'

'Hiten only came when Bankotsu was gone'

'Let's face it, you're safest with Bankostu.'

I feel my skin crawl at the voice's words knowing full well that she made sense.

'Even now. Look what trouble that little bitch you favor so much has put you in.

And where is Bankotsu?'

"Stop painting this man as a safe place. He's a monster."

"Who is?"

I look up not realizing I spoke aloud.

The worst kind, I agree.

But name a safer place than in the care of the worst kind of monster.

…I can wait.

I flash the samurai a bright smile, "I'm sorry. I have been lying, but only because we've been through so much...I've been through so much..." From the corner of my eye, I see Okimi swell with joy.

'If you let her continue. she'll ruin everything.'

'Just imagine what Banktosu would do if he find out you purposefully lead samurai to him

"I've been traveling with a mercenary group for quite some time now, but they are not keeping me hostage."

He would never trust you again...

"I am doing so of my own free will." I take a minute to showcase the space around me before doing a quick spin to showcase my body.

He'd NEVER let his guard down around you

"Clearly, if I am being held against my will, don't you think I'd be in a far worse state than this."

You'll NEVER be able to kill him.

I see Okimi deflate immediately, but ignore her.

"We came across this young girl being attack by your bandits. By my request, the leader of the group saved her and I took it upon myself to ensure that she got to a village safely, however." I throw a cold glare in Okimi's direction, "It seems that she is repaying our kindness with lies. "

"I'M NOT LYING! YARUKI PLEASE! LET THEM HELP YOU!"

The samurai sighs, "You've already admitted to lying to me once, why should I believe you now?"

I give him an apologetic bow, "I understand your hesitation, but I speak only the truth now. We did not kill all the bandits at once. Some got away in the commotion, and I feared that you were reinforcements at first. It's quite hard to see from a distance, and even now I had to make sure you were who you said you were."

"She's a good liar." I hear Okimi mutter softly.

'Can we kill her now?'

'You know...like I've been wanting too!'

I let out a small gasp as if an idea suddenly popped in to my head, "Actually, if you'd be so kind as to escort us to your Lord, perhaps I can strike a deal to have my group assist you all in ridding this land of those bandit. For a fee of course."

"You expect us to pay you to do a job hat you couldn't even do on your own?"

"As I said before, we merely stumbled across those men. We did not think at first that they were a part of anything bigger. Just trying to do a good deed. The idea that they were from a larger group only just struck me when I saw the lot of you approach. With paid jobs, we are far more...precise. Your Lord won't be disappointed."

"You've got to believe me." My eyes flick over to Okimi's soft whispers and I see her desperately clinging to one of the other guards, "She's in danger. We both are. Those mercenaries did this. Not the bandits. I've seen them clear entire villages. Whole armies! You, your village, everyone is in trouble."

She wasn't lying, but this wasn't the way to go about dealing with Bankotsu. All she was doing was ensuring their demise.

I loudly clear my throat, getting the young warrior's attention ," Forgive her. We came only after most of the damage to her had been done. She..." I give him a sympathetic look, "She hasn't been quite right in the head since."

"I'M NOT CRAZY! YARUKI, PLEASE!" She spins back to the man, " You must believe me! The...the leader...he...he's young, but strong.. he carries this...this sword...THIS HUGE SWORD..three...no FOUR times as large as you...and...and...A METAL MAN! He has this...this cannon on his shoulder...and...SAWS!"

The young man looks over to me and I merely shake my head sympathetically making sure to neither affirm or deny her claims.

The head samurai huffs clearly growing tired of this back and forth, "Take the woman to the village. Get her calm and cleaned up at the inn."

"I should go with her. She's frazzled and really after what happened I think it would be best if a woman were with her too." I keep my stare on Okimi almost daring her to decline. The look works because for the first time since this entire encounter started, she keeps her mouth shut tight.

The head samurai turns back to me to study my face once more, "I am still unsure about you."

I tilt my head to the side, "Oh? How so?"

"You seem to be working quite hard to keep her silent."

"Only because I know what state she is in, but please, if you wish to waste time listening to her fantasies then by all means go right on ahead. Who am I to stop you? I've already said my piece."

"The young one called you, Yaruki. Is that your name?"

"It is."

He goes quiet again momentarily lost in thought, "Are you married?"

I blink slightly taken aback by the question. "Why do you ask?"

"Answer the question."

I huff, "What husband would allow his wife to travel with a band of mercenaries?"

"One that maybe a mercenary himself."

I snort at the idea, "No. No, I am not married."

"Have you been engaged at all? Prior to joining your mercenaries?"

"Is there something you are looking for? Perhaps if you'd tell me versus prying in to my life, I can provide you with better answers."

The samurai is silent for a moment before exhaling, "The matter is of no real concern to you. Simply keeping a promise to a subordinate of mine. We'll escort the two of you back to the village. I'll consider taking you to my Lord, if there actually are mercenaries in these woods."

"They are harmless unpaid, I assure you. They plan to meet me in the village in the morning. Give them the rest of the day to rest and you can evaluate them for yourself tomorrow. If you approve, I can personally bring your Lord my leader and they can negotiate a price."

"If we even decide to use you."

"The fact that you are having such problems to begin with tells me that you need us."

"Watch you mouth, woman." The samurai warns and again I give a half heart apologetic bow.

"No disrespect intend. A simple observation."

The samurai continues to stare at me with an unreadable expression before stepping to the side and allowing me to approach Okimi.

I keep my eyes forwards, but hold my hand out to her. A quiet command; not an option.

She takes it reluctantly, and I keep her close to me. In an attempt to keep my rage in check.

Because if I didn't, I most assuredly would have slit that traitorous throat of hers.

What little of the night that was left was spent in sleepless silence in the inn room. I laid on my said glaring at the wall with Okimi on the other side of me. Our backs were to each other, but we both knew the other was wide awake.

"I just wanted to help..." She repeats softly, "Why won't you let them help?"

Carefully, I sit up struggling to keep my annoyance, irritation, and hurt from slipping out of my mouth. "Where you not there," I begin softly, "when Bankotsu fought Hiten? Just Bankotsu mind you. Not me. Not the others. JUST. BANKOTSU."

"I remember. Its hard not to forget something like that."

"Are you sure?!" I snap twisting my body to finally look at her, " Because I was there and what I saw was one man. ONE. HUMAN. Take on a demon without batting a single eye. With no hesitation. With absolutely NO FEAR."

Okimi was quiet her back still to me.

"And its safe to assume that we both know Hiten was no small fry demon, yes? As conceited as the son of a bitch was, he had the power to back up every threat made."

I'm still met with silence, but at this point, I didn't care for a response.

"So how the fuck do you think some samurai...some...some entitled Lord's body guards could POSSIBLY be any match for him?!"

"..."

"Do you know what would have happened if I went along with you idiotic plan? If I was like 'Oh yeah Mr. Samuari! You and you're barely adult men come follow me deep in to the woods where this blood thirsty mercenary group is sleeping and kill them for me!' THEY WOULD HAVE DIED. YOU WOULD HAVE DIED." I scoff, "and if you think I'm in some sort of danger now, just imagine what danger I'd be in if Bankotsu found out I betrayed him. That I tried to have him killed."

"Can you not hear yourself!?"

I blink at Okimi's sudden out burst. Her large brown eyes enraged and staring back at me.

"Who cares if you betray him!? Who cares if YOU aren't the one who actually kills him. HE'LL BE DEAD WONT HE!? Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you always say!?"

"It's not the same-"

"DEAD IS DEAD IS DEAD! There are no different types of dead! And if you don't kill him soon, you will never be able to kill him. "

"Getting stronger than him does not just happen over night."

"I am not talking about power."

Her words send a sudden chill through me and I glare at her, "..Shut up."

"Yaruki, you're-"

"I said Shut. Up."

"You're falling in love with him."

My stomach churns violently at her words and it takes everything in me to keep me from lunging at her.

"Look at how hard you defended him to the samurais. Look at what your saying now."

"Okimi..."

"That's the danger, Yaruki. "

"Just stop..."

"Its just going to get harder and harder to kill him if you don't do it soon."

"I said..."

" It's not that you're too weak."

"Stop..."

"You love hi-"

I was on her in an instant. My grip on her throat tightening as I stare down at her struggling form.

Just...just for a moment...I needed her to be quiet.

For just a moment.

Her hands push against me. Against my face, my arms, my chest. Anywhere they could reach. Her nails dig in to my cheek, but it doesn't faze me.

I push down harder. Applying all of my weight.

Tears begin to well at the corners of her eyes as she stares up at my. Her face going from blue to purple, and for a second, I see them. The little face of those children.

I hear their gasps, the struggled broken pleas for me to stop.

I let go and she gasps coughing sputtering choking. I watch as she greedily sucks in the air around her before slowly rising.

"I am not a monster..." I whisper softly, "...I...I'm not.." I watch as she stumbles to her feet taking off out the door.

My back hits the wall and I slide down it staring at the spot where she once was.

"...I'm not a monster..."

I apologize that not a lot happened plot wise. I planned to make this longer, but I was getting frustrated with myself and rewriting a lot, so I'm just gonna end it here. Since I couldn't get the plot moving, I'm hoping the changes in Yaruki are becoming more apparent. At least, that was my end goal. I hope you enjoyed, and I am hoping the next update won't take as long.