The last Master of Chaldea sighed let out a groan as his head hit the cold pavement. What was with his life?! He couldn't even sit down to eat without being whisked away to some new world. With a sigh, he looked at the starry night above and uttered.

"It happened again."

What he didn't expect was a female voice to his right mimicking his exact words.

Slowly, he turned his head to the right to see a red haired girl with yellow eyes staring right at him. With a panicked shout, both of them scrambled to their feet, backing away from the other. Taking a quick look over, they could see the other was wearing the same Chaldean uniform, and that the girl was shorter than the boy. What was going on here?

"Who are you?!" They shouted at the same time. "Me? I asked you first!" Their faces, despite their different genders, became mirror images of each other as their frustration became more prominent. Both took a deep breath at the same time before finally spoke again. "I'm Fujimaru Ritsuka, who are you?" They asked.

A pin dropping could be heard in the following silence. The two stared at each other, their eyes narrowing as they tried to gauge what exactly was going on here. Countless scenarios ran through their heads as they tried to piece this together, but before an answer could be reached, a voice called out to them.

"Who's there?!" The woman howled.

"SHUT UP!" The two roared back, turning their heads at the voice to do so.

"Sheesh, feisty, ain't you two?" The two could only stare in shock at who was speaking to them. The woman wore a very form fitting blue jumpsuit which showed off her athletic body, her blue hair done back in a ponytail. What shocked the two Fujimarus however, was the red spear she held in her hand. That was most definitely the Gae Bolg, but... that wasn't Cu or Scathach. Who the heck was this woman?

To make things worse, the spear woman wasn't even the only person here that confused the two however. Both of them recognized the twin swords the spear wielder's opponent held, and even the clothes the person wore reminded them of EMIYA, however... neither remembered the Counter Guardian as a woman with curves that could rival Raikou.

"Hey, Faker," the male Ritsuka asked his counterpart.

"Faker?!" the girl claiming to be Fujimaru Ritsuka called out indignantly. "I think you're the fake Fujimaru around here. You're comparing yourself to me? Ha! You're not even good enough to be my fake!" Ritsuka could feel a headache pounding away at his skull as he barked out,

"I'll make you eat those words!" The two Masters moved to attack each other, the others watching with mild amusement. It didn't take long for the entire group to realized that despite all the natural advantages being a male should have given the boy, the two Fujimarus were equally matched, neither able to overwhelm the other.

The only other Master, a boy with black hair and red clothes sighed to himself. What was going on here? First, he was sure that Lancer would beat his Archer, but the sudden appearance of these two lunatics in matching clothes completely stopped the battle. Instead of fighting for the Holy Grail, they were watching the girl put the guy into an armbar.

"What the hell?" He muttered to himself as he walked forward, ignoring the girl crying out in pain from the boy biting her admittedly thick thigh. "Excuse me, who the hell are you two?" The boy called out, causing the two to look over.

"That's what we're trying to figure out!" the two yelled back in unison. "Stop doing that!" Both took a breath, realizing this wasn't going anywhere. "You!" they both pointed at the blue lady, trying to get some answers. "Who the hell are you? You're wielding Gae Bolg but you ain't Cu Chulainn!"

"I... I am Cu Chulainn," the woman claiming to be Cu said with a mix of confusion and amusement.

"What, no you aren't!" The two shouted, before for the first time, splitting off into different sentences.

"Cu isn't that hot!" The male Fujimaru shouted as the girl instead cried out

"Cu is hotter than you!" The two paused, turning to look at each other for what felt like the hundredth time that night, an eyebrow raised. Cu only chuckled at this before the two pointed at the sword wielding archer.

"And who the heck are you?!" The two shouted in unison once more. "You resemble EMIYA, but you can't be, after all-," After a dramatic paused, both pointed directly at the Archer's chest with the conviction of a lawyer finding a hole in a witness's testimony.

"-EMIYA'S NOT A HOT WOMAN!" the Male Fujimaru called out.

"-EMIYA'S BOOBS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS!" The female Ritsuka roared with conviction. The two paused once again.

"Wait, your EMIYA is a girl?" The boy asked. "Then why are you even yelling in the first place?"

"No... my EMIYA's a boy, just..., you know," the girl held up her breasts. "EMIYA has big boobs, you know."

"... Those aren't boobs. EMIYA has a barrel chest, yeah, but it's not boobs."

"They totally are!"

"No they ar- you know what? Not the time, we'll settle this later."

"I don't know if I should be offended or not, or by which one." the Archer snorted. The two Masters of Chaldea started at the three person group in front of them, noticing that the remaining Master had place his face in both of their palms. The man took a deep breath before standing up tall to face them both.

"I am Rin Tohsaka, Second Owner of this land! Who are the two of you?" He tried to have some authority in his voice. The two Fujimarus looked over the boy, the girl one slowly circling around Rin as the two Servants watched her carefully.

"... Isn't Rin a girl's name?" The male Ritsuka asked. Rin blinked at that statement.

"What? No, it's a very respectable and masculine name." Rin defended without a shred of doubt in his voice.

"I have a better question!" The Female Fujimaru called out. "Why do you look like bozo over there-," She motioned to her male counterpart, who let out a cry of indignation, "-but somehow have that nice ass?"

"Hey, my ass isn't that bad!" Male Fujimaru called out.

"Compared to his, it might as well be flat!" Female Fujimaru shouted back.

"Stop staring at my ass!" Rin called out as he covered his butt with his hands.

"I will stare at that defenseless ass as much as I want," was the response the poor boy got, the red haired girl wiping some drool away from her mouth. EMIYA sighed to herself, moving to position herself in front of Rin's butt.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd stop making my Master uncomfortable," she said in a harsh tone, causing the offending girl to raise her hands in surrender. Rin was thankful it was night, because he knew otherwise that these two strangers would be able to see just how bright red his face had become.

"A-Anyways, who the hell are you two?!" He finally snapped.

"Oh, I'm-," The two spoke in unison again, but before they could finish, a loud sound caught everyone's attention.

"Who's there?" Cu shouted once more. This time, instead of someone shouting back, they heard the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps. Cu growled before vanishing into thin air.

"Wait, where is she going?" The female Ritsuka asked.

"Shit!" Rin cursed. "It's an elimination of witnesses! Whoever that was is going to get killed!"

"You're going to kill the witness?!" Female Fujimaru called out in shock.

"What, no, I-." Rin tried to explain, but before he could explain, Female Fujimaru began to bark orders.

"Faker! You go after Cu Chul-lady! I'll take care of these two!" She said as she stared at Rin. With a sigh, Male Fujimaru took off, running past the two.

"You better not be doing this so you can grab his butt!" The boy hissed as he rushed past her. The girl gritted her teeth as she heard that.

"Dammit, maybe he is me." She muttered. With that, she took a bajiquan stance, talking a deep breath before she took a step forward, moving towards Archer and Rin. Meanwhile, Male Ritsuka found himself rushing into the school, running down the hallway, his arms pumping up and down as he ran. It didn't take him long to find what looked like a girl with short and messy red hair picking herself off the ground, looking scared for her life. She didn't notice the Master of Chaldea coming towards her like a train, the boy pushing his body to run as fast as he could as he saw Cu materialize behind the innocent girl.

"HEY, WATCH OUT!" Ritsuka roared as he activated the instant enhancement in his Mystic Code, his next step sending him speeding across the hall like a bullet. Taking the Servant off guard with his sudden burst of speed, Ritsuka tightly wrapped his arms around the girl, twisting his body so that the two of them missed the Gae Bolg that was sticking out, ready to shish kabob them. His body crashed into Cu's body, and he could feel himself fall to the floor... but instead of his head hitting the said hard floor, he instead found it landing gently against something soft and warm.

He had a bad feeling he knew exactly what it was.

He slowly looked up to see that yes, he did indeed land on Cu's breast. Oh, this was so weird. To his relief, Cu didn't look angry, just a bit amused.

"You gonna get off any time soon?" Cu asked playfully, causing Ritsuka to shrug.

"I dunno, it's pretty comfortable here." He quipped before he looked down at his chest, seeing that he was holding his rescuee's face very close to his own chest. Oh yeah, that wasn't a good thing. The male Master of Chaldea quickly rolled off of Cu, getting back onto his head and rapidly backing away. As Cu flipped up to her feet, Ritsuka positioned the girl he was saving behind himself. "Hey, you need to get outta here." He told the girl, who gave him a strange look.

"No, I can't leave you here alone!" She spoke up for the first time, her voice filled with conviction despite her obvious confusion. She moved in front of him, looking as if she was the one protecting him.

"Hey, hey, hey, no, we're doing this to save you!" Ritsuka argued as he slipped in front of her. The girl only puffed her cheeks as she tried to move in front of him again. What was her deal?! Cu could attack at any time and she wanted to do this heroic dick measuring contest right now?!

"Hey, you two are cute, but, I can't spare you two for bein' cute," Cu commented as she spun Ga Bolg in her hand, slowly walking up to the two. "You know you two don't stand a chance against a Servant, right?" Ritsuka gritted his teeth, pushing himself ahead of the girl once again and taking a boxer's stance.

"Maybe not... but I ain't going to go down without landing some good shots!" Ritsuka bluffed as he bounced on his toes. "Come on, I'll knock your lights out!" Cu only chuckled at the bravado on display.

"Well, if you're going to keep talking dirty to me." She teased before she stepped forward to thrust her spear at Ritsuka. The Master took a step forward, his Command Seals glowing as he went for a surprise attack. His fight to survive in this strange world was beginning to go into full swing!