20 David finally had reached their scheduled days off, and the team all had plans to keep them busy. Deacon was spending his time working within his security firm, Hondo was helping Daryll with a project and Tan was taking Bonnie on a short trip up the coast.
And well, Street, he knew that he needed to do something to distract himself from this mental rut he was stuck in. With Chris tied up in that case he wasn't able to talk to her. And honestly, even if he did what on earth would he say? The way they had left things when she walked out of Hick's office, not willing to let him finish. Had she been scared he would confirm what Molly had accused him of?
Even he had no idea how to begin to fix this. It was all such a mess. He was feeling broken, disillusioned, and lost. The one person he would usually go to for help, was now the one person he didn't feel like he could talk to at all. He knew she was busy with the court case and that Jared was still in town. He wasn't going to reach out and interrupt her time with him, plus he figured she wanted no part of all of this mess right now. He just hoped that one day, some way, they would at least talk.
He sighed and slid on his helmet. He missed her. But he knew that this feeling, this situation was all something that moping around the house couldn't fix, so he planned to ride down to Long Beach and grab lunch with someone he could talk to.
He weaved through the traffic and eventually pulled up outside an ordinary looking house a few suburbs over. Another bike sitting ready to go in the drive.
"Hey Buck," he called as he took off his helmet and watched him close the garage door.
"Hey kid. Right on time." He answered.
Soon, they were off, weaving along the winding coastal road, taking in the amazing blue skies and beautiful views, before pulling into a trendy beach café for a bite to eat. After they ordered, they took a seat overlooking the beach. Street sat staring out at the surf, lost in his own inner turmoil, as Buck observed him.
"What's eating at you kid? Why the pensive stare?" It took a second for his words to register in Streets ears.
"Oh, um, I dunno. Just," He paused and shook his head as if to shake his foggy mind clear. "I think I am…. stuck. You know just not sure where to go next."
"Oh, so that's why we are really here, huh? You need to talk. Need some advice?" Street shrugged and gave buck and nervous smile before he nodded.
"Yeah, I guess. I didn't really know where else I could go." Street explained as Buck took a drink of his coffee.
"Okay, from the start then, come on get it out kid." He said, gesturing for Street to talk.
Street swallowed, glanced out at the ocean again and then finally spoke. "I stuffed up." He said looking up to Buck, who was suddenly looking worried, with wide eyes and a frozen stare.
"Okay? More information is needed. At work?"
"Well, kinda had to do with work, but…"
"I heard about you and Molly breaking up. Is it about that?" Buck interrupted.
"Yes, and no, I mean," he paused and sat thinking how to tell him about it all.
"Hicks giving you a hard time?" Buck finally asked eyeing him.
"No, no," he has been completely fair, given the mess I made.
"What mess?" Buck asked. His mind racing wondering what Street had done to end himself here, all wound up like this. Street sat for a minute as if he were trying to piece his words together.
"Well, I guess, Hicks, he probably doesn't know it all, unless…" he said slowly with emphasis, thinking. "Unless Molly told him, but I don't know if she would have," Street glanced out at the ocean with a grimace contemplating that.
Buck sat back in the creaky cane chair and sipped his coffee as he stared out at the ocean too. "I feel like there is a story here. So, tell me it all kid, what happened?" He asked.
As the waves crashed on the beach beside them, Street picked up his cup.
"I broke up with Molly. I mean, I know you know that, but I guess it's the why I did it that caused the problem."
"Okay Gentlemen," said a waitress approaching their table. "I have a Big Breakfast and a Pancake stack." She continued as she carefully placed them down.
"Thanks," Buck smiled politely at her as Street just nodded and gazed at the pancakes in front of him. He really didn't feel hungry right now, as he thought about it all. This turmoil was making his stomach do flips.
"So, back to the why," Buck said, "tell me that story. Why did you break up with Molly?"
Street was not keen to open up like this. But as he sat there hesitating, he knew he had reached out to Buck for a reason. Buck was always there for him, always helped, so he drew in a breath and began to talk.
"I did it because I realised, after a chat with Chris, that I wasn't happy."
"Right? But that's usually why relationships end." Buck answered pointing his fork at him slightly as he enjoyed his bacon. "So, what's the rest of it?"
"Well, Chris is pissed with me."
"Why?" Buck answered after swallowing. "Why is she pissed off that you broke up with your girlfriend?"
"Cause, well, a while ago. While I was still with Molly. Chris hit a low patch. I reached out and one of those nights while we talked, she spoke to me about needing to move forward and find her happy and about really going after what she wanted."
"Okay?" Buck answered slowly. Still trying to make sense of it all.
"Well, I guess it really resonated with me and after coming to that realisation, that's why I broke up with Molly."
"Oh," Buck muttered, slightly shaking his head at him. "So, she blames herself for your break up?"
"Well, yeah," he shrugged with a head tilt. "I mean I tried to explain to her that I just wasn't happy with Molly and that I ended it for the right reasons, but then Molly tells Chris that I am in love with her and that's why I ended things."
"What?" Buck let out staring at him frozen. "Why on earth would she…." His words trailed off as he observed Street closely. "Wait, are you? Are you in love with Chris?"
Street chewed his lip and swallowed, before nodding slowly. "Yep." Came out as a whisper. Buck sat a little stunned. Nothing had prepared him for that confession. Part of him wanted to chastise Street and tell him that was a stupid idea, they were the same team, but part of him also realised at the same time that this, this heartbroken and lost young man in front of him was hurting. Buck realised in that moment, that Street was deeply in love with her, a woman who he now thought he would never have.
"For how long?" He asked slowly, leaning in a bit closer.
"All along." Street answered as he fiddled with the napkin and stared at the table. "Since I met her, I mean." He added looking up at Buck with sad eyes.
"Wow, Jeez Jim." Buck exhaled. "Of all the girls in LA, you go and fall for her." He smiled but shook his head.
"Hey, I didn't exactly plan on it." Street said shrugging. "It all started as playful flirting, I mean I was initially attracted to her, she is hot. But as we slowly got to know each other, I saw the woman, that today I can't not feel all of this for."
"So, she knows how you feel?" He asked with a querying look.
Street just shook his head. "Nope, not really, I mean she might have guessed, but we haven't talked about it."
"Why?" Buck asked tilting his head. "I mean if it's such a big issue,"
"She is dating a guy Buck. A good, handsome, charming guy." He blurted.
"Oh!" Buck nodded slowly. "I see. Well, this is just slightly…messy."
"Yeah." Street nodded slowly prodding the pancakes with his fork.
There was a silence for a few minutes while both tried to process what they had just shared.
"So, have you thought about what to do?" Buck asked cautiously, knowing how delicate Street must feel.
Street pursed his lips and frowned. "Not much I can do. She is happy, in a relationship and not interested in me."
Buck inhaled and nodded. "I honestly am not the best person for relationship advice, but I would think the right thing to do is to make time with her to talk."
"Buck! I can't just say 'Hey let's hang out.' And then tell her I'm in love with her. She would never speak to me ever again. She knows I know she is in a relationship and…"
"And what Kid? Okay, maybe not right now, but one day soon you will have to tell her." He paused and took a drink. Street shrugged again. He knew how headstrong Chris was and how that kind of conversation would end.
"I dunno Buck, I …... can't ruin her happy." Street answered as his shoulders slumped.
"Jim," Buck looked at him, waiting for him to look back up and make eye contact. "Who's to say she doesn't feel the same for you. That this new guy is just filling a void like you did with Molly?"
Street shrugged, "I doubt that."
"Well, what's the timeline here? Did you know she was dating this guy when you broke up with Molly?"
"No, she had left to go to Quantico for a week and when she came back, I tried to talk to her, but soon realised she had met someone and, well…" He paused and exhaled. "When I went to try to talk to her, we fought and that's how the whole thing about this mess started."
"Hmmm," Buck nodded. "Sounds like you worked out your own heart a fraction too late for right now. But look, kid, maybe just give it time. Then try again to talk to her."
"I dunno," Street scoffed. "She has already friend zoned me more than once. I am not even going to bring that up with her. That will completely ruin our friendship…. if it even still exists."
"No, I didn't mean accuse her of dating a guy just because she couldn't have you. What I meant was, maybe just try talking to her. Explain about what Molly said and maybe not 100% admitting it all while she is in this relationship, but maybe just apologise and try to rebuild the amazing friendship you two have."
"Yeah maybe," he shrugged as he ate a few bites of his breakfast.
They sat for a while watching the waves in a comfortable silence, before Buck asked,
"Do you think this relationship of hers will last?"
"I, I dunno. I barely know the guy, but she seems happy." He muttered.
Buck nodded scrunching his lips. He hated seeing Jim like this and he really wished he could give him some better more helpful advice.
Soon after they were back on their bikes, enjoying the coastal road again for the day before they rode home. That night back at Luca's he sank onto the couch, lost and dismayed, still processing everything he and Buck had talked about. He agreed that he needed to talk to her, but when was the right time? Whilst this court case was on, he was sure she would be spending all of her down time with Jared, as once it was over, he would have to go back to Las Vegas. So, he decided that after that he would try to approach her again. Sitting there though he was fighting the urge to text her just to say hi.
'No, Jim, let it go.' He whispered. 'Let her be happy.' He tossed his phone on the couch and wandered to bed tired and drained.