A resounding boom sounded.

The air shook from the impact.

All that Fujimaru Ritsuka could see was Medusa attacking Perceus with the speed of a ballistic missile, an attack that the famous Greek Hero easily blocked. Left. Right. It didn't matter where Medusa attack, Perseus was able to defend himself with Harpe. Ritsuka felt so helpless. He didn't have prior knowledge about Perseus, and without that cheat, what could he realistically do?

The realization hit Ritsuka like lightning. There was something he could do!

He walked forwards, confidently headed to the battle. The two Servants froze as they saw him approach. What was this foolish Master doing?

"Hey." Ritsuka said, grinning widely, his teeth shining in the sunlight. Perseus froze, fidgeting a bit.

"What the hell?" The Servant muttered. "Did Medusa use her Mystic Eyes on me? I'm feeling really hard for some reason." Seeing an opening, Ritsuka strutted forward, slowly undoing his Mystic Code. "Wh-what are you doing?" Perseus muttered as he tried to move away. Ritsuka only smiled that damn charming smile of his and opened his shirt, showing off his handsome body. The world could see his rippling muscles tensing under his flawless skin. His abs looked like six slabs chiseled out of pure granite, and his pecs pecc'd peckishly as he moved even closer.

"How are you?" Ritsuka's voice was like a magical spell, one that weaved itself deep into Perseus's mind. The Greek Hero's knees grew weak, and he fell to the ground. Medusa covered Jack's eyes as Ritsuka bent down, delicately taking off Perseus's mask. Ritsuka's shirt slid off his body like oil as he delicately traced Perceus's jawline with his thumb.

"What... what are you going to do with me?" Perseus asked.

"You may not be as beautiful as the Roman Empress I call my true wife, but you will be an excellent addition to our harem." Ritsuka replied as he licked his lips. He slowly took off Perceus's cloak, tossing it to the side like it was a dirty rag.

"But... but my cool mysterious aura... my manliness... no Ritsuka-dono, yamete..." Perseus begged, trying with the very last wisps of his willpower to keep his chastity intact.

"Don't worry, in Greece, it's very manly to do the butt stuff." Ritsuka muttered as he pulled the Servant closer.

"-And in Rome, umu!" Nero finishing reading her new draft to Liz. Liz sat there quietly for a few seconds before she finally felt life come back to her.

"What of kind of degenerate likes this garbage?!" Liz screeched with indignation, looking at the stack of papers that Nero had.

"Huh? What do you mean, umu?" Nero tilted her head. "I thought I was doing a really good job."

"Oh, sure, the start was fine, even if this "Rin Tohsaka" trusted Puppy a little too fast, but then you pull this yaoi out of nowhere?!" Liz shook her head. "I thought you were going to have Shinji do the butt stuff with Perseus."

"What? What would ever give you that idea? Next you'll tell me you thought I was going to ship Bazett and Master!" Nero accused. Liz simply looked away, sweating a bit. "Besides, how is your fic any better? It's just you blatantly self inserting and shipping yourself with Master!"

"Hey! I worked very hard on making this story! And the romance I wrote is very beautiful! Don't you always say you like this kind of stuff?!"

"Only when it's written well! I'm not a fan of your Mary Sue insert!" Nero waved her hand dismissively,

"WHAT?!"Liz's voice shook Chaldea down to its very foundations, and unknown to the two, caused an avalanche outside. "My self insert is a Mary Sue? That's rich coming from you!"

"Oh? My self insert is based on me, so it automatically can't be a Mary Sue." Nero said with a completely straight face. Liz blinked, and slowly turned back to the computer. She couldn't deal with this any more. She would create that perfect fanfiction, with or without Nero's approval.

In other news, I have officially opened one of those! Ya know, those sites where you can donate money to me monthly! Support me at Pat eron dot com slash islapfloor.