Hey all! Hope you guys are having a wonderful Valentine's Day. My plan for right now is to try and update once a month because that's the best method that fits my current schedule. Sorry if it's not fast enough, but the world won't pay my bills no matter how hard I ask LOL. I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day.

Stay Caffeinated~~

My mind struggles to understand the scene before me. The more I stare at him the clearer his old image became.

It is Shinjou.

His warm smile. Bright eyes.

My hands grip tighter on my clothes as I continue to stare dumbly at him. My eyes scanning over every healed cut that littered his face and neck. My eyes flicker down wards to his hands checking to see if there were any signs of the scars extending down his body, "H-h-how…how did-"

"So you know this man?"

I blink remembering that we were not alone, "Y-yes…he…he is from my village…before…before-"

"We were to be married. I had just gotten her father's permission, but then…then those mercenaries came. They killed everyone."

I watch as his body begins to shake, but not from fear.

"I was too weak then. I couldn't…I couldn't save anyone…I couldn't even save myself…had that….that freak not got distracted…I….I would be-"

"Freak?" the Lord questions and Shinjou nods.

"You haven't seen him. He's the tall one…who dresses like a woman."

I flinch knowing full well who he was referring to. Jakotsu did that to him? I finally look away. Why was I so surprised? Shinjou is a handsome man. I close my eyes. He's lucky those scars were all he got from that encounter. I've seen Jakotsu get completely out of control whenever a handsome man was involved.

And it never ended with the man walking away merely scarred.

"I'm sorry…" I mutter softly catching both men's attention. I look over to Shinjou, "I'm so sorry. I thought…I thought you were dead. Had I known… I would have…"

Immediately, he is next to me. One hand over my own with his other cupping my face, "No. I'm sorry. That night…when I saw him walk into your father's shop. I…I should have followed him. I should have checked on you."

Shinjou looks over to the Lord, "Whatever crimes you think this woman has committed, please understand, it's not her doing."

"Shinjou!"

"Those men that came with her, they've forced her with them! They've probably forced her to do a lot of things she wouldn't normally do. In fact, I know they have!"

He slides his body in front of me and presses his forehead to the ground before the Lord, "Please, I am begging you, she is a victim. Those men…those monsters…they've held her captive for so long."

"Shinjou, please."

"And what do you propose I do? My people are wary of her and are terrified of the company she keeps."

"Leave her with me. Let me take her."

"You are well known in my village for your kindness and in many of the villages over, but she is a murderer. I cannot knowingly release her back to the public no matter if it's in your care." The Lord falls quiet for a moment, "It is also for your safety that I make this decision. Regardless of whether you knew one another before, she is not the same woman from your village."

"Please, sir. She's not a murderer, and I know she has not changed. I can see it in her eyes. That same gentleness is still there. You must understand, she is a woman. If she doesn't do what they say, they'll kill her. Harm her. Or…or-"

"Enough." The Lord looks over to me not fully convinced, "Love can make a man see things that are not there and miss things that should be seen. She has proudly stated time and time again that she's willingly chosen to travel with these men. I find it hard to believe her a victim."

I feel my jaw clench, "Because I am not a victim. I am with them because I choose to be." Shinjou looks over to me unsure of where I was going with this, "Those men, or at least the one that was with me, killed my father. I will not rest or stop until I kill him with my own hands."

"…Yaruki…"

I sit up a bit straighter, "I'm not going to pretend that everything I've done to this point is something to be proud of, but everything I've done had a purpose. Everything I've done needed to be done. You can think or judge me however you please, but I have a mission and a goal that I am working towards. If I can save those who I encounter in the process then so be it, but I will do whatever I must to ensure that man experiences the same pain and suffering I have endured."

The Lord closes his eyes letting out a low sigh, "No matter what your personal goals are, you will not drag my village and my people down with you."

"That was never my intention. In fact, my goal was to get them as far away from this village as possible. You all are the ones prolonging our stay here." I feel my face take on a serious expression, "And the longer you keep those men here, the more at risk you put your people in."

"Are you threatening me?"

"I am warning you."

"She's right, sir. I've seen firsthand multiple times how ruthless these men can be. If you do not stop them now, there is no telling how strong they will become."

I throw a quick glance over to Shinjou, not liking what he is implying.

"They are a danger not only to your people but to others as well. They've already gained a name for themselves with the other Lords. Many of them are terrified of them, but if you all combine your fighters-"

"No!" I spit quickly looking at Shinjou in disbelief, "If you do that, then I can't promise you and your people will live. It'll be better to just let them pass. If you'd just let me go with them, then-"

"I can't risk losing you again, Yaruki. Please, let me do this."

The raspy plea halts my protest as I stare at him. He turns back to the Lord. "If you promise to let us leave, I will do all that I can to assist you and the other Lords in killing this group."

"Do your really believe I need the help from my enemies to deal with a boy and his friends?"

"Do not underestimate them, my Lord. Look at how they've taken care of the small bandit encampment."

"We will surround them upon their return without the assistance of other Lords. Just imagine how it will look if I ask for help to deal with one as young as him. As for your woman here, as a thank you for the work and service that you've done for me, I will discharge her to your care, but you both must leave first thing in the morning."

"I'm not about-"

Shinjou lifts his hand to me silencing me and I glare at him, "I will accept your terms, but I must insist that you get more men before they return. For the sake of your people."

"I will do what I see fit for my village. I just need the both of you to leave before sunsets on the morrow."

"You all are going to die." I mutter softly, and Shinjou gives me an understanding look.

"You have my word that we will be gone by tomorrow."

My eyes widen at his statement, but he rises taking my arm in the process. Shinjou lets out another low bow, "Thank you again."

"Have you lost your fucking mind!?" I spit stomping down the beaten path towards the inn. I glance over to Shinjou who is effortlessly keeping up with my stride causing me even more agitation. He continues to stare at me- a wide goofy grin plastered over his face-and I struggle not to knock every one of his teeth out of his head.

"Do you not understand the absolute and utter destruction that will descend on this fucking village if you don't go back to the Lord and beg him to just let Bankotsu walk.

I spin suddenly stopping in front of him and angle my neck upwards. Had he always been this damn tall?

His smile never falters as he continues to look down at me, and my rage boils even more when his silence runs longer than I wanted, "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!? They're going to die! Every single one-"

Shinjou smashes his lips to mine before I could even stop him, and he pulls me closer to him struggling to deepen the kiss. I feel my body tense in revulsion as I struggle to push him away. Finally breaking free, my hand cuts across his face with as much force as I could muster in my still shocked state.

He blinks stunned as he gingerly rubs his cheek where a solid handprint was forming.

"FOCUS, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Now is not the time! You've quite literally sealed the fate of every person in this village."

"Not yours." He says softly as his hands snake their way to my waist.

I stare at him in disbelief, "What do you mean, not mine? Do you not care about the villagers you've put at risk? If the Lord goes through with your foolish plan, Bankotsu will not stop until every person is dead. You've seen him do it with our village; why would you ever put another village through what we've been through."

He lets out a low sigh as if I were starting to get on his nerves, "I do care, but I'm not about to pretend as though you are not my priority right now." One of his hands reach up to push my hair behind my ear before his fingers slide down my cheek, "My main goal right now is to ensure that you're safe. I thought I lost you before, and now that I've found you, I'll be damned if I lose you again. I've done my best to tell the Lord what to do. All he needs is just to cooperate with others. They can overpower them; they're just men. Whether or not he chooses to take my advice is on him and his village's blood is on his hands. But I will not leave you here with them. I will not abandon you again," He lowers himself so that our foreheads touch, "I swear it."

I continue to stare at him my mind struggling to comprehend his words and not because of the rasp. This man is fucking delusional if he thinks for even a second that I am leaving without the others.

"Now." He says in a chipper tone, "I'm hungry. Are you?"

"W-what?"

He begins to pull me in the opposite direction of the inn, "There's a little tea shop around here that has the best pork buns. When I ate them, I immediately thought of you." He stops short and I run in to him slightly. He turns to look down at me, "You…you still like pork buns right?"

I start to snatch my hand from his fully committing to knocking every sense back into his thick skull. My mind conjours up a slew of insults all ranging from his lineage to his intelligence, but as I look up into his eyes, I freeze. A soft and gentle emotion resides within them. An emotion that I haven't seen in quite some time. He looks at me as if he is looking at his whole world. His entire purpose for living.

My face involuntarily grows warm and I clench my jaw. This conversation isn't over no matter how much he wants it to be…but for now…I guess I could go for some food.

"I-I fucking love pork buns…" I say softly looking away from his gaze, and he laughs.

"Good. You'll enjoy these," and he continues to pull me towards the tea shop.

Guilt washes over me as I nibble on the pork bun and listen to Shinjou's tales of what happened once our village was destroyed. Apparently, his encounter with a monk was more agreeable than mine. The small community cared and nurse him backed to health, even going as far as to assist him getting some of his voice back, although, it will never be what it once was.

He then went under the study of a samurai who trained him in the way of sword. I choke slightly on my bun at the thought of sweet Shinjou fighting, and I began to laugh harder when he stated that apparently, he was a bit of a natural at it.

Even though he agreed for us to marry, Father always lamented on how soft Shinjou was when it came to fighting; stating that the most terrifying in our house would be me. Now to discover that he in fact was skilled at it; I bet the old man is rolling in his grave now.

After he lost his teacher in a needless skirmish between Lords, Shinjou became a hand for hire working with various groups or as a guard for villages. He had thought me dead for some time until he heard of a new prostitute that matched my description and attitude.

He assured me with a weak and bashful laugh that he only went to see if the rumors were true and for nothing else.

As if I care.

However, by the time he got there, the brothel had burned down and many of the villagers were stating that it was the work of a demon attracted to the brothel because of the dark and underhanded dealings of the Mother.

I merely nodded in fake remorse when he mentioned that the woman had been blinded by the demon for her ill deeds.

It would be better if he didn't know the truth.

And then came Jinje village. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw me with Bankotsu causing as much of a scene as he'd expect from me when I get heated. His eyes grew dark as he recalled that moment and the struggle not to behead Bankotsu then and there.

But his desire to get me to safety. To get me a way from him was his priority.

He wanted so badly to run off with me when he finally got a hold of me, but he figured that Bankotsu had some sort of hold on me. Some sort of threat that kept me so soundly by his side.

I scoff but chose to say nothing. He wouldn't understand anyway.

"I knew for a fact that he had something over you after…"

His voice trails off, but I knew what he was going to say.

After I killed those people.

"I wanted to take you with me then…but…then I saw him…the tall one and…" He begins to shake in disgust with himself, "It's as if all my training was for nothing, because as soon as I saw him. I panicked. I grew scared and I ran away."

His face contorts in to one of great pain and shame.

"I had to watch from afar as he picked you up and took you away from me." He reaches out and grabs hold of my hands, "Can you forgive me for that? For being too weak to protect you. For being nothing but a coward?"

I shake my head pulling my hands from his grip, "Shinjou, the bravest thing you could have done in that moment was run. Those men…they are monsters. They have no remorse for what they do to others. Had Jakostu gotten a hold of you again…we wouldn't be here. True strength is knowing when you are out matched. It may not be the samurai way but being able to run and live another day is far better than dying a needless death in a battle you had no hope to win."

"I know you're just saying that to make me feel better, and I thank you for that, but what sort of man lets the woman he loves be carried off like a bag of grains and does nothing to stop it." He chuckles as he runs a hand over his face, "I'm quite pathetic."

"Wanting to live is not pathetic."

"But what sort of life would I have if you're not in it?"

It takes everything in me not to gag. I have forgotten just how mushy he could be at times. I let out a low sigh instead which he takes as a sigh of admiration because he looks up at me with those same lost sorrowful eyes.

My face twitches slightly at the sudden and unexplainable urge to gouge them out.

"Well, I guess we both have had quite the experiences since we last saw one another." I say with an awkward chuckle hoping to change the subject before he allowed his emotions to get the better of him.

But my plan backfires as his face becomes more serious, "I must ask… and I apologize if I bring up anything scaring, but I must know; have they harmed you in anyway?"

I roll my eyes, "Do I look harmed?"

I see the flash of hurt appear on his face, and I try my best to correct my tone, "Listen, I wasn't lying to the Lord when I said I am willingly traveling with them. I was given the option between that or dying and since its impossible to ensure that bastard suffers when I'm in the ground, I chose to join them."

I fall quiet for a moment gathering my thoughts as I reflect on my past experiences with Bankotsu and the others, "I hate him. I hate him more than I think I've ever hated anyone before in my life, but…there is a part of me that's grateful for the experiences being with him provided me-"

"Experiences?! What sort of experiences?"

My face deadpans as I stare at him, "Are you even listening to me or are you just obsessed with whether or not I've given myself to him?"

"Well, of course I know you'd never willingly give yourself to him and that's why I feel like I need to ask."

My neutral face slowly becomes a glare, "Because clearly I belong solely to you so you can defile me whenever you feel the need to."

His face goes full red, and he quickly waves off my accusation, "N-n-n-no. Come on now. That's not what I meant. I just-"

"So why does it matter if I did or if I didn't?"

He flinches, "…H-have…you?"

Despite running through a series of emotions just seconds ago, his face now becomes completely unreadable waiting for my answer. I stare at him in quiet contemplation. Obviously, I would never consider such a ridiculous thing and that little deal I made with Bankotsu back when we were before the Lord was something I'd deal with if it ever happened.

And as far as I'm concerned, it's not going to happen, given my two days have been up for quite some time.

But honestly…I wanted to mess with Shinjou a bit.

"And would you think less of me if I said I did?" I ask keeping my face neutral as to not hint at whether I am saying yes or no.

"Of course not." He says keeping his face equally calm as he brings his cup to his lips, "It's not your fault that a man overpowered you and assaulted you in such a way. I merely wanted to make sure-"

"And if I said he didn't force me, but I choose to give myself to him?"

Shinjou chokes on his drink and looks at me. Although it was quick, an undeniable flash of rage hit his scarred face before he recovers with a laugh.

"Its not proper to joke about things like that, Yaruki. I'm giving you a serious inquiry." He clears his throat and sets his cup back on the table. "I've already planned to kill him, but if it turns out he had the audacity to touch my wife…well-"

"You're wife? I'm sorry, I never agreed to marry you the first time you asked me."

"Surely, you've had more than enough time to think about it."

I scoff, "First of all, all that time you apparently claim that I had, I thought you were dead!"

And honestly, I'm growing to resent the fact that he wasn't.

"Secondly, I never said I needed time to think about it. I told you then and I'll tell you again. I'm not ready to be married. Especially now. How can I even think about such a silly thing when the son of a bitch who killed my father still lives and breathes and has that fucking smile plastered on his face."

"Because our lives shouldn't revolve around him." For some reason his words send a quick and powerful jolt through me and my stomach clenches as though someone had just punched me. "If we spend our days harboring that bitterness and that hate, he wins."

"So, what?!" I mutter struggling to work out the knot in my stomach, "You just want me to let it go and run off and marry you as if everything I've done and gone through doesn't even fucking matter?!" With each word I felt myself growing more and more angry.

"That's not what I'm saying." The calmness of his tone enrages me more and I jerk to a stand.

"Yaruki, I want to see him dead just as much as you do. In fact, the only other person I'd want to see dead more than him, is that one you called Jakotsu. But I refuse to sacrifice anymore of my happiness, my joy, and my peace than what I've already given them. Just this once, I want something to go right for us and this is our opportunity."

I feel my face scrunch up in disgust, "You see this as your chance to regain your peace, right? To regain your happiness?"

"No, I see it as our chance. Its not just me I'm thinking about."

"But it is." I say bitterly, "My happiness is killing him. Nothing else will ever provide me that peace or joy. I'm not running away. And I am not going to marry you."

His eyes quickly scan the shop noting how much attention we were drawing but I didn't care. This fool truly had the absolute audacity to appear out of nowhere demanding I marry him. Demanding that I let go and be happy.

If obtaining happiness or peace means I must let Bankotsu live while my father rots, then fuck ever being happy or peaceful again.

"Yaruki, please sit down." He coos softly after a few minutes of me not speaking, "We can discuss this more once we're in private."

"DISCUSS? I've told you my answer!" I lean forwards resting my hands on the table between us, "Let me make something abundantly clear. I don't-" My voice catches in my throat as I realize my mouth became more free and more hurtful without my knowledge. I look away trying to steady my breathing and rearrange my sentence to be softer.

I truly am happy that he survived, but why must he ruin everything in my life whether it was intentional or not.

"Shinjou…I'm glad…happy…that you were able to survive. I'm proud of you for your accomplishments, for growing into a man I know my father would be so proud to have me marry." I look back up to him so that he understood the seriousness of the next part of my sentence, "But I do not think we are meant to be married. I do not see myself as a wife or a mother. For the first time in my life, I have a purpose- a goal- that even goes beyond Bankotsu and being married won't let me achieve that goal."

I stand and straighten my clothes before tossing some payment on the table, "I'm sorry, but do not waste your time on a foolish woman such as myself. I do not need to be rescued nor am I asking to be. In fact, I wish you would leave now before Bankotsu returns so that I can do what I can to prevent this from getting out of hand."

Shinjou lets out a bitter scoff as he grabs hold of my arm preventing me from leaving, "And how exactly are you going to do that, huh? What's your plan for when he returns?"

"I have a plan!" I spit bitterly, "I know what I'm doing and even if I didn't, I still have a better understanding of that man than you ever would. I know his tells, I know how to read him, and I know how to get him to back down. I am not in danger." I snatch my arm from his grip, "And even if I was there wouldn't be a damn thing you could do about it."

I storm out wanting to be alone with my thoughts, but just like a lost fucking dog, the man is at my heels in an instant.

"You can't do this alone, Yaruki. Let me help you. We can beat him together."

A sudden and sickening wave of familiarity hits me at the sound of his words, and I stop abruptly closing my eyes, "I'm not going through this again." I mutter while clenching and unclenching my fist, "Please…leave me alone. You're becoming just like her."

"Too much like her…"

"Just like who?"

"Okimi. You're sounding just like Okimi."

"And she was a fucking problem."

My nails dig into my palms to distract myself from that familiar cold empty presence of the voice once more in the back of my skull.

"Tell me, Shinjou…

Are you going to be a fucking problem too?"

"She was not a problem." I mutter softly, "She just needed help. You said so yourself. We helped her."

"I didn't say anything, Yaruki-"

"I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!" I snap turning towards him only to flinch at the sight of his concerned face. Running my hand through my bangs, I exhale. "No…I…I'm sorry, I am speaking to you, Shinjou, I just…"

He takes my hand and pulls me in to his chest. "It's ok." His hand gently rubs my back as he presses his face to the crown of my head, "I'm here now. I won't leave you. I promise."

His words, despite their purpose being comforting, did nothing but stoke an anger in me that never seems to burn itself out. I tighten my grip on the back of his shirt which he must have taken it as a sign of thanks.

Honestly, I just needed to preoccupy my hands before the temptation to stab him became too great.

I sink lower into the bath grateful for the privacy. After the whole tea shop discussion, I've been trying to put some space between Shinjou and I for the rest of the afternoon. He's determined to keep his word to the Lord and to keep from ever leaving my side has blocked his ears to anything I say.

I exhale allowing a wave of bubbles to form around the exposed portion of my face.

Running into the Onsen was the only way I knew I'd be able to think clearly without him staring at me the entire time, but even now, I know my time is limited. If I stay in here for too long, he'd come in after me on the men's side, looking for me.

I grind my teeth at the thought. God, had he always been this….this….

My words fail me, so I just glare at the opposite side of the room. Even if I didn't have my overall mission to help those who need it and punish those who deserve it, there would be no way in hell I'd marry him. What sort of life would I lead with a man who has no goals or aspirations outside of being married? What man centers his entire life around one woman and refuses to let her go despite it being very clear that she wants nothing to do with him.

I mean fuck at least Bankotsu has his own dreams and goals. Albeit they all revolve around murder, but at least he's striving for something. I suddenly feel a sharp low pang in my chest at the thought of Bankotsu.

Why the hell was it taking him so long to get back? Had they run in to trouble? Were they hurt?

I couldn't stop myself from imagining all five of them strewn about some battle ground somewhere bloodied and dead, and although there was a part of me that relished in the thought, a greater part of me began to panic. What if he died before I could kill him? What if he's injured to the point of not moving?

"Y-y-yaruki?"

The sudden and unsure sound of a woman's voice pulls me from my torment, and I look over to see one of the workers of the Onsen scan the room. I quietly dip low and under the water before her eyes could land on me.

"Yaruki?"

From under the surface, I see the woman take a few more steps forwards, stopping and looking before shaking her head and leaving again. I wait till I could no longer hold my breath before rising again and exhaling.

I appreciate the lack of effort she put in to looking for me, but I became increasingly annoyed at the thought of Shinjou sending someone in to check on me.

The man was becoming more and more insufferable the longer I am around him.

"We could always-"

"No." I speak firmly but quietly as not to draw the worker back in here, "Shinjou is a good man, Remember, we are only helping those who ask or killing those who need it. Shinjou just cares too much."

"He'll hinder us. Just like the girl."

I choose to ignore the voice and continue my bath for the better half of another hour before standing and leaving. Scanning the immediate area, I bolt for the front of the village hoping to linger there out of the guards' sight and wait for Bankotsu to arrive.

It wasn't a large camp. In fact, I've seen them take out groups of far greater numbers, so why the hell was he not back yet.

Pressing my back to a tree, I watch from out of their line of sight as the current guards stand at their post chatting idly with one another.

There weren't many on guard right now, so perhaps the Lord hadn't given the order to arrest them as soon as they arrived. I let out a soft sigh of relief. Perhaps, I can convince them to keep moving since they didn't need to collect payment for this job.

A soft snort escapes me as I remembered Bankotsu's face when I said he'd do a job for free.

He wasn't a money hungry man, but still, doing something he saw as a waste of time and not getting paid for it must have really pissed him off.

"Serves him right." I mutter to myself settling more into a comfortable position as I keep my determined gaze on the forest, "I swear he's about to get an earful when he finally shows up. Stupid bastard."

Hope you all enjoyed it, and remember if no one has told you this than I will: I am proud of you and everything that you do! Stay awesome people3