Goodbye Crispy

Let's go back a few hours before Walden Kelso was wanted for murder, shall we?

"YEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Buzzer cheered as he used his chainsaw to slice a chair in half.

"Oh man these are good donuts!" Torch groaned with delight as he ate some donuts.

"Good thing because trashing stuff is hungry work," Ripper said as he and Monkeywrench turned over a filing cabinet and threw papers around.

"Are you sure it's okay to trash this office?" Tiffany asked Walden.

"This is Devon's office," Walden explained as he gathered a bunch of papers from a desk. "Go nuts."

"Some of us are already there, mate," Buzzer snorted.

"Just let me get some stuff from this desk and computer before you trash it," Walden said as he worked. "Ooh! Go have some of Devon's grape soda from his private refrigerator!"

"Grape soda?" Tiffany asked.

"Yeah, he's into homebrew grape soda," Walden said. "It's actually pretty good. Just push that red button on that lamp over there."

"What this one…?" Ripper asked as he pushed it. The wall gave away to reveal a huge walk in refrigerator full of sodas.

"Whoa…" Monkeywrench gasped. "I never saw so many kinds of grape soda in one place."

"What are you waiting for?" Walden said. "Drink it all!"

"Best…Boss…" Torch grinned. "EVER!"

"Oh, get me a Grape-O Garbo's one," Walden said. "That one is the best!"

"You got it Boss," Buzzer grabbed him one as the Dreadnoks tore into the drinks.

"Oh, Devon what have you been doing with my company?" Walden sighed as he looked at the papers and took a sip of soda. "Well you won't be doing it for much longer."

"Oh my God," Ripper said as tasted the soda. "Have you tasted this Gargantuan Grip? Pure cane sugar mixed with fermented grapes!"

"I quite enjoy the Grape-O Garbo myself," Tiffany took a swig. "Very smooth and refreshing."

"Nice body," Torch took a swig. "Good nose…But enough about me! HAR! HAR! HAR!"

"Hey what are you doing?" Walden asked as Buzzer tossed an empty into a trash can. "This is Devon's office. You're supposed to smash the bottles on the floor or against the wall!"

"Right!" Buzzer smacked his head. "What was I thinking?" He picked up the bottle and threw it against the wall.

"Don't forget to stain some of the furniture and the carpet before you further trash it," Walden said.

"That's why you're the boss!" Monkeywrench grinned as he poured some soda on a couch.

"Yeah you ever get the feeling Zartan was taking us for granted?" Torch asked.

"It was time for a change wasn't it?" Ripper asked.

"Walden are so much cooler than Zartan," Torch said. "I think he was taking us for granted. Did you ever get the feeling he was taking us for granted?"

"Torch tends to repeat himself a lot," Buzzer sighed. "No surprise since he has the memory retention of a bloody goldfish."

"Actually, studies have shown that some goldfish can remember up to three months at a time," Walden said.

"Still longer than Torch," Monkeywrench shrugged.

"Well we're going to do lots of cool stuff," Walden said. "Once we kick Devon the Douche's ass."

"The ass kicking sounds like lots of fun already," Torch remarked.

"After that we can do whatever we want. Hey look! Devon has a yacht," Walden showed them some papers and took out a key. "Which he bought with company money. We can take it out and do really cool stuff on it. Oh, we could be like pirates on the ocean!"

"Did we do that before?" Torch asked. "It seems like we did do that before."

"Probably," Monkeywrench shrugged. "We did everything else."

"Including being a rock band," Buzzer nodded.

"No way," Walden said.

"You ever hear of Cold Slither?" Ripper asked. "That was us!"

"Oh my God!" Walden gasped. "I have a ringtone of that song!"

"That was one of Cobra Commander's better plans," Torch laughed. "Remember? We're Cold Slither, you'll be joining us soon!"

"A band of vipers playing our tune!" Walden and the others sang around. "With an iron fist, and a reptile hiss we shall ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullleeee!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

A tall young man with black hair in a black suit glared at them. "What the hell are you people doing in my office?"

"Redecorating," Walden quipped. "Hey Devon. How's it hanging?"

"Walden? I should have known," Devon grumbled. "I knew you weren't really kidnapped!"

"Oh, I was kidnapped," Walden said. "But I took care of it. Ironically these guys treated me better than you ever did. Now let's talk about how you've been embezzling from my company."

"Your company?" Devon shouted. "It's our company which your screwing around nearly bankrupted us!"

"Not as much as you stealing money from it to buy a yacht!" Tiffany said.

Devon did a double take. "Is that a dude?"

"That's now how Tiffany self-identifies," Walden shrugged. "Meet my new head of security. Tiffany, Devon the Douchebag. Douchebag, Tiffany."

"Who the hell are these people?" Devon asked.

"My new security staff," Walden said. "Now let's talk about all this money you've been stealing from me."

"I earned that money!" Devon snapped.

"Doing what?" Walden asked. "Playing video games and watching Me Tube? Dude I do the exact same stuff you do."

"Yeah don't try to play a player," Torch said.

"You're just mad because you know there's no way in the world my mom will ever date you?" Devon snapped.

"How about me?" Torch asked.

"Ewww…No! Dude that's my Mom!" Devon shouted.

"Boundaries Torch," Tiffany sighed. "We've talked about this."

"We have?" Torch blinked.

"Technically that was more Zartan than the rest of us," Buzzer pointed out.

"I think Zartan was taking us for granted," Torch remarked.

"Just like Devon the Douchebag here took it for granted that he could take over my company!" Walden snapped.

"Newsflash! I just did!" Devon snapped. "I have the legal paperwork to prove it!"

"Well I'm taking this company back!" Walden snapped.

"Over my dead body!" Devon shouted.

"Well…" Walden paused. "When you put it that way…"

Ten minutes later…

"AAAAHHHHH!" Devon screamed as he was thrown off the roof.

"Look at him flap his arms on the way down," Torch laughed. "Notice they always do that?"

SPLAT!

"Doesn't work…" Torch quipped.

"That was totally awesome!" Walden laughed as he recorded everything with his phone. "Oh man am I going to enjoy watching this over and over!"

"You always do remember your first ordered hit," Torch nodded. A rumble of thunder was heard. "We should get inside."

"Good idea," Walden played with his phone. "Man, this is a great Day!"

"Next time though you should actually kill the guy yourself," Buzzer said.

"Well he doesn't have the arm strength yet," Tiffany pointed out. "Not to mention he doesn't have a weapon."

"Oh I think I got something to cover that!" Torch said.

A few minutes later Torch was handing a modified flamethrower to Walden. "See you strap the tank on your back like so…"

"Oh this is so cool!" Walden gasped. "Thanks Torch!"

"Now you look more like a proper Dreadnok!" Torch grinned.

"Well there are a few more things you need to do to be considered a proper Dreadnok," Buzzer said. "Ironically by having that tosser thrown off the roof was one of them."

"You certainly completed the mayhem part right by blowing up that convenience store," Monkeywrench added. "And that tomato museum. And the cop car."

"Got that whole donut and soda thing down too," Ripper added.

"Now all you need is a proper Dreadnok name," Torch nodded.

"A Dreadnok name?" Walden asked.

"Yeah, we all got one," Torch said. "I'm Torch because arson is my specialty. Buzzer has his chainsaw. Monkeywrench is good with machines. Ripper's is because he's sliced quite a few people open."

"I thought it was because I was always getting drunk?" Ripper asked. "Oh right, that's usually what led to the stabbings."

"It does kind of go both ways if you think about it," Buzzer admitted.

"Tiffany is…" Torch paused. "Well let's just say Tiffany has had a few names to go by and leave it at that."

"I wanna practice with this thing," Walden said.

"Well not in the office," Tiffany said.

"Very important rule while working with flamethrowers," Torch nodded. "Never use it around stuff you don't want to burn."

"Good point," Walden admitted. "Hey! I know! Let's go by the docks where that yacht Devon bought is! There are some warehouses in there we can practice in."

"Good idea!" Tiffany agreed. "Oh, let's bring some grape soda and donuts."

About twenty-five minutes later…

"That's one big boat," Monkeywrench whistled as they looked at the huge mega yacht. It was raining now slightly.

"This is such an awesome day," Walden grinned. "I took over a company. I took back my company. I got rid of Devon the Douchebag. I got a flamethrower. And I have a yacht. It doesn't get any better than this."

"And that flamethrower does look good on you," Torch grinned.

"It does," Walden grinned. "I can't wait to try it out."

Just then the sounds of sirens in the distance were heard. "Hey, I hear sirens coming this way," Ripper said.

"Oh yeah," Torch noticed. "There's like a whole fleet of black and whites at the other end of the docks."

"Somebody must have did something," Ripper shrugged.

"Why are the cops here?" Walden asked. "Wow there's a lot of them headed this way."

"Uh oh," Tiffany realized something. "Walden did you post that video of us throwing Devon off the roof online?"

"Well yeah," Walden said. "I post all my important events on my Instant Fame account. And my Space Book account. Also, my website. And My Space. And…"

"Uh oh," Buzzer gulped. "Walden please tell me you didn't post our location online?"

"I just did five minutes ago when we arrived," Walden said. "What? Is that a bad thing?"

"Yeah kind of," Monkeywrench groaned.

"You bloody idiot!" Torch said. "You just led the cops right to us!"

"Why would the cops be after us?" Walden asked.

"SERIOUSLY?" Torch shouted. "And you blokes think I'm dumb?"

"Did you or did you not just have us murder someone by throwing them off a bloody roof?" Buzzer snapped.

"Oh," Walden realized. "Shouldn't have done that should I?"

"No, not really," Torch groaned.

"Still no big deal. What are they gonna do," Walden snickered. "Arrest me?"

"Uh, yeah," Tiffany remarked. "That's exactly what they are gonna do."

"This is why we don't post our crimes on the Internet," Buzzer groaned. "Or have them filmed or anything like that."

A roll of thunder was heard above the sirens. "Ohhh…" Walden remarked. "Uh oh…"

"Okay now is a good time to learn how to escape the cops," Tiffany gulped. "Everybody on the yacht!"

"Does anybody know how to pilot a yacht?" Torch shouted.

"It's basically an overgrown regular boat," Ripper said. "How hard can it be?"

"Aww I never got to use my flamethrower," Walden pouted.

"I got a plan," Torch said. "Walden use your flamethrower to stall the cops while we get ready to sail off!"

"Burn those boxes over there to make a barricade!" Buzzer said as he used his chainsaw to cut the mooring line.

"Okay!" Walden went to do so.

"Remember! Aim for the foundation first!" Torch shouted as the Dreadnoks made it up the gangplank.

"No problem!" Walden grinned. "I've done this a hundred times in video games! How hard can the real thing be?"

"Did someone tell Walden about the kickback factor?" Tiffany realized. "Even flamethrowers have a slight kickback factor."

"He'll figure it out," Torch waved.

"AAAHHHH!" Walden screamed as he was pushed back by the power of the flames coming out.

"See?" Torch said.

"I CAN'T CONTROL IT!" Walden screamed as the flames went everywhere. Even on his clothes. "AAAHH! HOT! HOT! HOT!"

"Yeah that happened to me a couple of times when I first started out," Torch admitted. "Man did I used to set myself on fire."

"And you didn't think to warn him?" Tiffany shouted as the Dreadnoks watched from on the deck of the yacht.

"It's a learn as you go thing," Torch said.

"AAAHHH! I'M ON FIRE!" Walden screamed as his clothes caught on fire, but he was still pressing onto the flamethrower.

"Oh, he's gonna get some quality time in the burn unit," Torch remarked.

"Why is he still pressing on the flames?" Buzzer asked.

"He'll be fine," Torch said. "So, he gets a little burnt? It could be worse."

"How could it get worse?" Monkeywrench asked.

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

A bolt of lightning hit Walden hard. It caused a chemical reaction with the gas tanks on his back and…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"That," Torch gulped.

"RIPPER!" Tiffany said.

"On it!" Ripper ran to pilot the ship.

"Ooh! That does not look good," Monkeywrench winced.

"It isn't," Buzzer remarked.

"We were going to leave him behind anyway, right?" Torch asked.

"Well now we are!" Tiffany said. "RIPPER MOVE IT!"

"I'm going Baby!" Ripper whooped. "Full steam ahead!"

BRRRRROOOOOM!

"RIPPER WATCH OUT FOR THE…?" Tiffany screamed.

KRUNCH!

"Dock," Tiffany winced.

"We went through it anyway," Torch said. "The boat's okay!"

"Well it's so bloody big!" Buzzer shouted.

KA-RUNCH!

"See how it cut through that sailboat right in half?" Buzzer pointed. "What was that idiot doing piloting out in a rainstorm in the first place."

"It was anchored to the docks," Tiffany told him.

KA-RUNCH!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"That sailboat was being piloted," Tiffany pointed. "Ripper are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"No, but that never stopped me before!" Ripper called out. "HANG ON!"

"Like we have a choice?" Buzzer groaned as the yacht swamped another sailboat.

Two hours later somewhere out in the sunny part of the Pacific Ocean…

"I can't believe we got away," Tiffany said as the Dreadnoks congregated in a huge living room with a giant plasma screen TV with coolers of food and drinks. "It was just dumb luck we got away."

"Luck had nothing to do with it," Buzzer said. "It was when Ripper destroyed a dock and swamped at least fifteen sailboats with people in 'em that gave us our break. The Coast Guard was too distracted rescuing all those people."

"Actually, it was fourteen sailboats and a smaller yacht," Ripper said. "Just trying to be accurate here."

"Too bad you weren't," Monkeywrench snickered.

"Hey as destruction on water goes," Ripper said. "It was one of my personal bests."

"And because of that we were able to get away," Tiffany remarked. "By the way who's piloting this thing?"

"Chillax," Ripper waved. "I got it on auto pilot."

"That does make me feel better for some reason," Tiffany remarked.

"How much fuel do we have?" Buzzer asked.

"Not as much as you'd think," Ripper said. "Don't worry. As long as we make landfall within the next day or so we should be okay."

"Oi! We're on the satellite TV!" Torch pointed. Everyone gathered around to watch.

"This is Tad Hunter with the evening news," A well dressed middle aged man with graying hair was shown on screen. "We continue following the shocking events of our top story. The Death of Walden Kelso and his apparent association with the outlaw biker gang known as the Dreadnoks."

"That is one of my better mug shots," Monkeywrench grinned as they showed pictures of the Dreadnoks.

"With me now is Captain Kenneth D Rich," Tad turned to the left to find a well-dressed Psyche Out with him. "Military specialist in abnormal behaviors."

"Of course, he's a bloody specialist," Torch grumbled. "GI Joe is full of abnormal behaviors!"

"Well if that isn't the pecan calling the walnut a nut," Buzzer snorted.

"Captain Rich," Tad said. "How did Walden Kelso end up with these Dreadnoks? Are we talking a Patty Hearst type situation?"

"Normally that would be the case," Psyche Out admitted. "However, I am very well acquainted with the psychiatric profile of these particular individuals. Honestly the brainwashing theory doesn't hold up on account these people barely use their brains at all. Much less able to control the minds of others."

"What do you think happened?"

"My guess is Cobra probably sent the Dreadnoks to kidnap Walden Kelso to hold him for ransom or gain control over his company," Psyche Out explained. "However, Kelso most likely turned the tables on his captors by promising them money, drinks and free donuts."

"That's pretty spot on what happened," Torch admitted.

"Are you telling me…That a group of the world's most hardened criminals was bought by donuts and drinks by a teenager?" Tad was stunned.

"A multi-billionaire teenager," Psyche Out explained. "From what I've read of his psyche profile and interviewing his parents…He had a mentality very similar to most of the Dreadnoks. Only he was slightly more mature than they were."

"His parents must be devastated."

"Not as much as you'd think," Psyche Out admitted. "They had some estrangement issues. Let's just leave it at that. And since Walden Kelso didn't leave a will technically his company and fortune all revert to his parents and his siblings."

"He had siblings?" Tad blinked.

"He had an older sister and a younger brother," Psyche Out explained. "They didn't seem that broken up either. Apparently, there were also some sibling issues."

"If they're anything like Zartan and his set of twins I can see that," Tiffany remarked.

"What makes you think his parents aren't deeply traumatized by their son's actions and death?" Tad asked.

"They were laughing all the time I was interviewing them," Psyche Out explained. "As they were moving into one of his mega mansions. I'm telling you, that family had issues! Especially Walden."

"No kidding," Tiffany winced as a shot of Walden's demise via the dock cameras was showing.

"I think I just figured out Walden's Dreadnok name," Torch said. "Crispy."

"It fits," Ripper agreed as he shut off the TV.

"Well I'll give him this," Buzzer shrugged. "He may not have been in charge long. But he delivered on all his promises."

"He was a good bloke, wasn't he?" Monkeywrench agreed.

"Way better than Thrasher," Torch said.

"Oh, don't get me started on that idiot!" Ripper groaned.

"So glad he's dead," Buzzer nodded. "And maybe Gnawgahyde? I didn't care for him much either."

"Haven't seen Crusher in a while either," Ripper realized.

"I think either he killed Gnaw or Gnaw killed him," Torch said. "I mean they both went out into the jungle at the same time and they hated each other. Nobody's seen either of them for over a decade. So it's possible they're both dead."

"I hope so," Buzzer groaned. "Oh, remember that one guy we had for a week? What was his name? The one that was always bragging about how great he was!"

"Chop Shop!" Monkeywrench spoke up. "It was Chop Shop!"

"That's the bloke!" Buzzer remembered. "Always bragging about how great he was! How he was the perfect guard and fighter and everything!"

"And what happens the first fight he gets into?" Ripper snorted. "Got sliced in half by Storm Shadow in two seconds."

"Probably the only good thing that damn ninja bastard ever did for us," Torch nodded. "Hang on, wasn't Storm Shadow on our side?"

"I have to explain this to you again?" Buzzer asked.

"Please," Torch nodded.

"Storm Shadow was only pretending to work for Cobra to find out who killed his master and framed him for murder," Buzzer said.

"Spoiler alert," Ripper added. "It was Zartan."

"Hired by Cobra Crud-Mander," Tiffany added.

"Long story short…" Buzzer went on. "Storm Shadow found out…After a rather unfortunate incident with some kind of mind control machine. Went on a rampage, is hunting us down, joined up with GI Joe…Yada, yada, yada…"

"He really wants to kill Zartan and Cobra Commander," Monkeywrench went on. "But he has no problems wiping out any other Dreadnok and Cobra in his path."

"Hence the end of Chop Shop," Buzzer added.

"Oh right," Torch realized. "Now I remember! I'm amazed he hasn't found us by now."

"Well last we heard," Buzzer said. "There were some other incidents back in Japan and he had to go back to help his clan out. So…"

"So basically, Japan is one of the last places we should hide out in," Torch said.

"Exactly," Tiffany nodded. "No sense in tempting fate."

"I admit losing Chop Shop was no big loss," Torch shrugged.

"Remember Rug Rat?" Ripper asked. "He was kind of snooty. Whatever happened to him?"

"Don't you remember?" Buzzer asked. "He ran off to be a stock broker at Lehman Brothers. Embezzled a ton of money and last I heard he took off to Costa Rica. But his plane crashed in the ocean so…"

"Oh right," Ripper nodded. "And then there was Demolisher."

"Oh yeah!" Torch nodded. "He was a fun bloke! Especially at parties! He could take any kind of pain and just shrug it off like nothing! Not to mention that he pretty much whipped the butt of anybody who fought him."

"Except ironically cholesterol," Monkeywrench sighed. "Good funeral though."

"Wait Demolisher is dead?" Torch asked.

"Yes! He had a bloody heart attack!" Buzzer snapped. "You gave the eulogy!"

"I don't remember that," Torch blinked.

"Just as well," Ripper said. "It wasn't a very good eulogy. You were kind of soused that day."

"As opposed to every other day?" Tiffany snorted as she took a drink. "For some reason I don't remember a lot of these guys."

"Well…" Buzzer paused. "You weren't exactly around much in those days Tiffany."

Torch paused. "What happened to that other guy? Death Metal? Quiet guy. Didn't talk much. The one who wore a mask?"

"Got blown up by GI Joe," Buzzer said.

"Burn Out?" Torch asked.

"Also killed by GI Joe," Buzzer told him. "Ironically set on fire by that crazy fireman they have."

"What about that bloke you knew Buzzer?" Monkeywrench asked. "You used to ride together for a while."

"You mean Machete?" Buzzer asked. "Don't you remember? He was caught by the Joes years ago. Remember those two years we were stuck at that bloody desert base? And it all ended up a huge disaster."

"Oh right," Torch nodded. "He's in jail huh?"

"No, he's dead," Buzzer sighed. "Got killed in a prison riot."

"Devil Dog?" Torch asked.

"Also died in prison," Ripper said. "Apparently he committed suicide by stabbing himself twenty times after hanging himself. And then he set himself on fire."

"He never was a people person," Monkeywrench remarked.

"Neither was that bloke Sharp Edge," Buzzer remembered. "Why he thought it was a good idea to stab the warden on his first day in the joint I will never know."

"Which turned out to be his last day in the joint," Monkeywrench added.

"Jump Start?" Torch asked.

"Went bungee jumping," Monkeywrench explained. "But didn't tie the cord properly. And in hindsight, probably should not have been jumping over a place called Shark Bay."

"It wasn't a shark that killed him," Buzzer said. "It was a bunch of jellyfish."

"Still," Monkeywrench shrugged. "Same difference."

"Shark Bait?" Torch asked.

"Ironically, he was eaten by a shark," Ripper said.

"It wasn't the shark that killed him," Buzzer corrected. "It was that ski jumping stunt he pulled that went terribly wrong that did. The shark just ate his corpse."

"Major Mayhem?" Torch asked.

"Also killed in that debacle at the desert base," Buzzer said. "To be fair, if the Joes didn't kill him the prostate cancer would have so…"

"Storm Rider?" Torch asked.

"Drowned," Ripper said. "To be fair, he shouldn't have been water skiing in a hurricane at the time."

"Red Viper?" Torch asked.

"Also drowned," Buzzer said. "He was the bloody idiot piloting the boat Storm Rider was skiing in back of."

"Remember that other bloke back at the desert base?" Monkeywrench suggested. "Big Boomer?"

"Yeah. He lived up to his name all right," Ripper snorted. "When he swallowed that grenade on a dare."

"You're the one who dared him to do that!" Buzzer said.

"What's your point?" Ripper asked.

"What about those blokes we were also with during that whole desert base thing?" Torch remembered. "You know? That group of identical brothers and cousins?"

"The Dreadheads?" Buzzer asked.

"Oh God I hated those wankers!" Monkeywrench groaned.

Buzzer nodded in agreement. "Billy Bob, Joe Bob, Cletus, Otis, Roscoe and Vance. They were pretty low class even by our standards."

"Always whining about that Joe Beach Head," Ripper groaned. "Never shut up about him."

"Mostly Billy Bob," Buzzer added. "The others just tacked on."

"That's right," Tiffany remembered. "They went to school with him and he beat them in everything. Which honestly is not that hard to imagine. They were the most incompetent group of men I ever saw."

"Again, worse than us," Ripper agreed. "Which is saying something."

"I dunno," Torch said. "Vance was all right. He always paid for our drinks. And he was the only one who never whined about Beach Head."

"I admit Vance was cool," Buzzer shrugged. "Shame he was the first one to buy it."

"He was always doing those crazy bets," Torch snickered. "Like the time he bet how many scorpions he could pick up with his tongue."

"Turned out to be only one," Monkeywrench remarked. "And when he fell down all those other scorpions just ganged up on him. Nice funeral though."

"Now who was related to who again?" Tiffany asked.

"Joe Bob, Billy Bob and Vance were identical triplets," Buzzer explained. "And so were their cousins Otis, Cletus and Roscoe."

"Wait Joe Bob, Billy Bob and Vance?" Tiffany asked. "Vance didn't get a Bob at the end?"

"Vance's parents were huge fans of the actress Vivian Vance," Buzzer explained. "They were planning on Vance being a girl and calling her Vivian. But when it turned out Vance was a guy, they decided to go with Vance."

"Apparently, he was the favorite," Ripper shrugged. "And I can see why."

"What happened to the other blokes?" Torch asked.

"Joe Bob shot Cletus for stealing his girl," Buzzer recounted. "Roscoe shot Joe Bob for killing his brother. Billy Bob shot Roscoe for killing Joe Bob. Billy Bob got shot by Beach Head. And Otis got blown up by his own bomb!"

"Didn't Otis want to get revenge on Billy Bob for Roscoe?" Torch asked.

"That's who the bomb was originally for!" Buzzer told him. "The point is we all knew those idiots were going to kill each other."

"That was the only thing that kept us from killing them," Ripper nodded.

"Some blokes just don't have any people skills," Torch sighed.

"Wasn't there a girl Dreadnok for a while?" Tiffany asked. "Heartwrencher! That's the name!"

"Oh boy was she a piece of work," Ripper groaned.

"She's the one who was married to Joe Bob in the first place!" Buzzer explained. "And when they all bit the dust she inherited everything! Turns out they had a manufacturing company."

"Bitch just cashed in the life insurance policies she had on 'em and took off," Monkeywrench nodded. "Last I heard of her, she changed her name, her hair and is now selling stuff on The Home Shopping Network."

"So out of all of the lot," Torch realized. "Crispy was the best!"

"Man the bar is really low for a good Dreadnok," Monkeywrench realized.

"To Crispy!" Tiffany raised her beer bottle. "You may not have been a Dreadnok for very long. But you went out like one of us!"

"To Crispy!" The Dreadnoks raised their beer in salute. They drank their drinks down.

"What do we do now?" Monkeywrench asked.

"Yeah Zartan and his family ain't exactly gonna welcome us back with open arms," Ripper agreed. "Not after what we did to 'em."

"And those other blokes are probably really ticked off," Torch agreed. "Not that I really care about that but you know? What do we do for work now?"

"Because working for Cobra was such a joy," Monkeywrench said sarcastically.

Tiffany thought for a moment. "All right. New plan. We use the yacht to sneak down into Mexico. Join up with a drug cartel who could use the extra muscle. Then get enough money one way or another to either get enough money for fuel for the yacht or a plane back to Australia. Get back to the swamp. Hide out for a bit and then it will be business as usual."

"That's a good plan," Torch nodded.

"It has been a while since we've been home hasn't it?" Monkeywrench sighed. "How many years has it been again?"

"Oh at least…" Buzzer counted on his fingers. "Wow…Ten years. A whole decade."

"I kind of do miss the old place," Ripper agreed. "I wonder if the flood waters receded yet?"

"Still better than going back to work for Cobra," Buzzer nodded.

"And I didn't want to say anything," Torch said. "But did you all get the feeling that Zartan was kind of taking us for granted?"

"Then again," Tiffany sighed. "Maybe we should consider another membership drive?"