Jasper considered himself lucky at this point. He hadn't sniffed but a faint trace of Isabella Swan since he'd found her in the library that past week. He'd been traveling through the quad early before most classes let out, so they wouldn't run into each other. He had thought maybe Carlisle was right. Maybe it would be easy to avoid one girl on a campus this large.
Jasper was trying his best to look relaxed, leaning far back in his chair, the way he had seen so many other college guys do. He had picked up on so many body language subtleties in the last year. This had changed a lot since he was last part of a social scene. Then again, that had been back when women were courted and wooed. Jasper hadn't seen much of that on this campus.
It wasn't that Jasper was trying to build a social life, fuck no. However, the more comfortable the humans were around him the more he would be able to test his strength. If Edward was around, Jasper was sure he would tell him this was an awful idea. If Alice were still here, she would remind him to hunt frequently and spend as little time around the humans as possible. He didn't want to do that anymore.
Jasper knew he would eventually get sick and tired of attending school. He had aged well as a teen in the mid 1800s and knew that he could pass as an adult easily enough, in fact just being able to pick out his own clothes had left Jasper looking older. He didn't need to dress young anymore and though he still made sure to cover his arms, he wore what he was comfortable in. This was usually a loose button down shirt and jeans with some sort of boot. Emmett liked to make fun of him for wearing cowboy boots and Rosalie had bought him bike boots for this reason. It was supposed to pour today so Jasper had forgone his bike and happily chosen his cowboy boots, Emmett be damned.
From his leaned back position, he watched the other students enter the classroom and decide their fate. Some of them weren't normally a part of Dr. Stanish's lecture and didn't know any better when choosing where to sit. He saw three of them take the seats closest to the wall in the second row, this was in prime territory for Dr. Stanish to pick on them. He loved using real people in his examples and scenarios. Jasper pitied them because he would have to feel their uncomfortable embarrassment later in class.
He had been taking deep breaths, trying to desensitize himself while people filed in, but eventually the room was filled with nearly double the humans that were usually in that lecture hall and people started sharing tables. Their scents permeated every cubic inch of air and Jasper's throat grew from an itch to a dry burn. Venom pooled in Jasper's mouth and he decided it would be a good time to start conserving his breaths, only moving his chest to make it look like he was breathing. He decided he should be ok if he needed to breathe to talk. The thirst wasn't too bad and though he hadn't hunted recently, as long as nobody had any open wounds, he should be able to focus throughout the lecture.
However, in his haste to shorten his breath, he had missed a key scent. Jasper didn't know Isabella Swan was there until she had made her way into the room, backpack slung over one shoulder and a disgruntled frown on her face.
Jasper straightened, utterly focused, locking his eyes onto her, watching her as she looked for a place to sit. He froze too, hoping that if he didn't move, he wouldn't draw her eyes in his direction. He would do his best not to get called on and avoid her hearing his voice too, though he knew Dr. Stanish always liked to call on the least expected person and Jasper hadn't been picked in a couple of classes.
Jasper's eyes flicked between Bella and the door. She was still in his way, blocking his exit. There would be no way for him to get up and leave without her noticing him. There was no way he could run out of the room either, that would cause too many questions. He had to wait.
He didn't have to wait very long however, Bella's eyes shifted in that second to land on him.
They were both still and silent for the longest moment in Jasper's existence before another student shuffled around Bella and snapped her out of her daze. She made her way to a table several seats over from Jasper and kept whipping her head back towards him, like she was checking to see if he was still there.
Jasper couldn't get a sound read on Bella. Her emotions were bound to give him whiplash flashing between shock, anger, confusion, hope, and surprise. Most overwhelmingly she felt shock though. Jasper understood this since it had taken him several days to get over the fact that they had just happened to end up in the same town yet again.
When Jasper tried to meet her eyes again, she flinched and looked away, confusion and hurt overriding her system. This made Jasper flinch and withdraw too.
As the lecture started, Jasper let himself pretend to relax back into his chair, though he was far too tense to take any enjoyment out of it. He usually thought he put off a pretty good college guy vibe. Today, he found it hard to remember to keep "breathing." It's not as if he forgot the importance, no, but he did get distracted. Having Isabella Swan in the same room, knowing he was here and that his family was bound to be nearby, made it impossible to focus on anything else.
He vigilantly kept his inner eye open to her emotions and found himself trying to decipher every reason for the emotions.
She was obviously hurt because she remembered her birthday and how a trusted family member had lunged at her as though she were no better than a deer in the Olympic National Park.
She was obviously confused because she hadn't expected to see him here if ever again.
That flash of anger he felt earlier was obviously well deserved. He had ruined the life she had wanted. He helped ruin her relationship.
Hurt for the betrayal she must have felt.
Jasper knew they should have left, there was no real reason for them to stay other than the hassle of establishing roots in a new community. He should have pressed the issue more with Carlisle. She shouldn't have to deal with their presence.
Jasper wasn't called on during that class, something he would forever be grateful for because he was unsure if he would have been able to take a breath or open his mouth. He sat frozen for nearly the whole lecture. Bella hadn't faired as well, she had been asked to speak about half way through.
"Ah," said Dr. Stanish, "To the lady sitting there in the third row, yes you." Bella had leaned forward shocked at being called on without raising her hand. Dr. Stanish continued, "I trust you have read Pride and Prejudice?" When Bella nodded he continued. "You seemed like the type to have read it so I will trust that you know what I am talking about." Bella's emotions tinged towards nervousness and worry. "In Pride and Prejudice, Austen's ethical piece, her narrative decision, was to convey Darcy's struggle between love and the pressures of the social hierarchy not through the male eye but through the narrative of her female protagonist. The ethical issue is not new, and has been told from both sides time and time again, but I was wondering what your take on Austen's decision was. Did her decision to tell Elizabeth and Darcy's story through the narrative of a female character, despite the point of view being omniscient third person, bias the reader? What does that say about Austen herself?"
Jasper felt the tension roll out of Bella and antinicaption rise in her. The class waited a few moments for her to begin speaking. Bella began, clearing her throat and projecting as best as someone who was used to speaking in smaller rooms could, "Any decision an author makes has the chance and purpose of biasing the reader. I think the real interesting idea to explore is was it Jane Austen's intent to place this understanding and unifying bias towards her female characters on her readers or was it the social expectations of her time that caused the shift in narration? Most of us know that Jane Austen published all of her works anonymously. Which is not at all surprising considering the intricate customs and mannerisms of social life at the time that she managed to imbed in her writing. Her works were modern in the time that they were written. I am positive it would have been seen as a scandal for her to have placed ownership on these books when they depicted a stream of consciousness that was clearly bent on ignoring the carefully established social hierarchy in favor of love."
Jasper sat stunned, listening to Bella go on about Jane Austin's intention and her own ethical decisions of the time. She was clearly passionate, though about the book or the philosophy of ethics he couldn't discern. He decided that based on her class it was probably the book. She could take the whole class for a spin around the ethical rollercoaster as Dr. Stanish was often caught saying.
Jasper felt a smile lift the corners of his lips and he actually relaxed back into the chair, at some point he had started taking shallow breaths again. He could pick her scent out from the rest, hanging on it's fragrance and urging his body to ignore it. He couldn't let her down again. Isabella Swan had found a voice. Not only that but she looked at him, when she finished, like she had made a decision. He could pick up on nothing outside of determination and resolution as she turned to look at him.
Jasper knew he had to face the music at the end of this lecture. He had to find some way to apologize before she verbally tore him to shreds. He wondered if he would get the chance. He wondered what kind of fate awaited him.