Bella shuffled nervously around the room her mother had set aside for her when she bought the house, back when she thought Bella wouldn't want to live in Forks. Luckily, Renee had since brushed it off and used it as a guest bedroom, with Bella being one of the only guests.
She paced back and forth sweating despite the air conditioning and certain that Jasper had to have told the family by now but having no true confirmation. She hadn't explicitly requested an update when he had finished, though she herself had texted Jasper as soon as she landed in the sunshine state. Bella was desperately torn. She knew Jasper was probably giving her space and doing his "not pushing" her thing. Most of the time she appreciated this, but now? Right now, answers would be great. How did they take it? Are they mad at her? Do they want her to leave? Are they going to leave? Would they have stampeded to her door the moment Jasper told them the truth if she stayed?
Then again, Jasper might be off doing his own thing by now. She couldn't assume Jasper spent all day thinking about her and monitoring her situation. He'd talked about hunting trips, history books, and rebuilding houses with Esme before. What were the odds that he was still up for dealing with her mess? The last thing she wanted him to think was that she was just a needy human.
Bella's chest ached with the effort it took to restrain the temptation. Back and forth, she warred with herself. He'd been so supportive whenever they'd spoken. Even though he constantly checked to make sure she was still okay to hangout, he never pushed her on the family front. No, he'd always waited for her to broach the topic.
He'd always waited on her.
Realizing that she may very well have to wait until her return to Ithaca to hear the results, Bella snatched her phone off the nightstand next to the bed. Then, the phone was ringing faster than she could process having pushed the buttons.
"Hello, Bella." A deep melodic voice answered the phone and his two simple words froze her in her tracks. Forget not having time to think of what to say, Jasper's drawl made her stomach tighten in a way that made her feel guilty. He was her friend for goodness' sake. More than that, he was her former best friend's husband and her former boyfriend's brother.
Not quick enough to respond, Bella heard Jasper send a worried, "Bella?" through the phone.
She let out a gust of air, not realizing she had been holding one in, and quickly recovered herself. "Yeah, I'm here, sorry," she rushed out. Gnawing on her lip, she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "Um, hi."
Jasper chuckled lowly. "Hi," he echoed.
Her stomach grew tight again but the war won out in her chest, helping her get past the distraction. "Um, I was just calling to check in. I didn't hear from you, and well, um, you know our deal…" She trailed off, apparently she wouldn't just save the awkwardness for the greetings.
Jasper didn't immediately answer her unspoken question, instead he asked, "How are you?"
"I'm well, and um, warm." Bella tried not to ramble, "Renee's got the whole trip planned out and we've been moving about all day." She paused but knew that wasn't the full truth. When he didn't respond she continued, knowing he was looking for a bit more than that. "Once we stopped moving though, it was hard for me to forget what you were doing today." Her voice was quiet, ashamed almost at admitting the weakness. "I probably won't be able to get to sleep without knowing how it went."
Jasper hummed, the sound wrapped Bella in its familiar comfort, and Jasper started, "They want to see you."
Relief overtook her. She knew his Type A vampire brain was probably desperately begging him to start from the beginning and give her a play-by-play, and she wanted that too, but he had jumped first to the information that would allow her some sanity, and for that she was grateful. "Really?" She squeaked, moving to lay on her side in the bed.
"Really," Jasper replied firmly. "I know you are still nervous. Do you want to ask questions or would you like me to tell you how it went?"
Bella bit back the instinct to immediately ask if any of them hated her. Jasper could read emotions, but she had a feeling she would get much more out of him by focusing on the bits he thought were important. She whispered, "Can you just tell me about it?"
Jasper's reply was soft, "Of course, Bella."
Jasper relayed how the conversation had played out, from the family's initial anger with him for inserting himself into her life, to the shock and indignation at how they'd all been treated by Edward.
Bella let a few tears slip when it came to the family finding out about Edward. It was her fault that they were going to think of him as though he had betrayed them. It would have never happened if she had minded her business and not inserted herself into their lives.
As though Jasper could sense her self-loathing, he was quick to tell her how Rosalie, of all people, had shown concern for her well being.
When he was done trying to explain just how impatient Emmett was to see her, agreeing that her strategy to wait until she had landed in Florida was for the best, they spoke of her plans for the rest of the trip.
She didn't admit to him her fears of seeing the family without Edward or Alice there. But eventually, she'd been soothed in a way that was completely a Jasper thing, even without his gift. She fell asleep to the sound of his drawl and a soft, "Goodnight, Bella."
In the days that followed Thanksgiving, Bella and Jasper spent much of their time in the library. In Bella's own words, Jasper "might have an infallible memory but some of us still need to work for our grades." Which somehow led to Jasper spending even more time on campus than before, not that he minded being used as her personal encyclopedia.
Every night, he'd walked her to the bus stop and waited with her, before retrieving his own car. He felt her pride as she'd refused his rides but also knew that part of it had to do with respect for him. She'd been purposefully careful since stepping in front of the heating grate in the library, no matter how many times he'd reassured he had control.
Trudging through the cold, Bella sucked in an anxious breath and blew out a tumbling cloud of condensation, each tiny droplet catching Jasper's eye in the dark of the evening. Jasper wondered what had caused the sudden spike when Bella revealed, "Just 8 more days," with a glance at him out of the corner of her eye.
They were walking out of the Olin library, a thick blanket of snow coating everything as far as he could see. He'd urged her to skip the library today, the forecast calling for lake effect snow, but she'd told him he could pass if he wanted. She had a paper to work on and reference books she needed to look at and would need to be there. Jasper thought it absurd that he be the one to skip their meeting. One of them was far more susceptible to the dangers of winter than the other.
White clumps of snow tumbled down around them, the heaviest they'd experienced yet this year. With the worsening conditions, he couldn't suppress his own nerves. "Just 8 more days," he affirmed. Then, attempted to rationalize with her, "I am going to be driving you to my family's home next week, Bella. Why don't you let me drive you home today?"
She'd gnawed her lip, a habit he found quite endearing, and tried to brush off the offer, "Really Jasper, I'm fine taking the bus." Her stubbornness, he thought, wasn't nearly as endearing.
Jasper was sure he could convince her to accept the ride, this was not a topic of which he was afraid to push. He'd proved several times over now that she was safe with him, closed space or not. Besides, this was about her safety. "Bella please," He looked her in the eyes, willing her to understand where he was coming from. "The roads are covered, I can hear cars sliding from here. I would feel much better if I was able to make sure you got home safely."
She'd paused in her steps, nearly sliding in the snow herself. Thoughtful and nervous, she hesitated before asking, "Are you sure it wouldn't be too much trouble?" He heard the undertone of worry in her words. This wasn't a question about going out of his way. It was a question of whether he wanted her and her scent in the warm car with him.
Internally, Jasper rejoiced at the progress, not needing to give it a second thought. He smiled, "I am certain, Bella." He offered his arm to her and a small thrill shot through him as her small gloved hand gripped his arm through his thin wool coat.
Thankfully, the walk to the car occurred without much mishap. Bella only tightened her grip once while they descended a set of stairs, Jasper's other arm automatically reaching out to support her further. Amusement, he assumed at her own clumsiness, ran through her as she continued to clutch at his arm, "You're better than a handrail."
"Well, thank you, Bella." He chuckled. "Every sentient being loves being reminded that they are more useful and a stationary object."
The blush that enveloped her cheeks made the joke that much more satisfying.
Meekly, she acquiessed, "I may have set the bar a little low there." Eyes filled with humor, she looked up at Jasper as they continued to walk. Snowflakes fell around her, dozens seemingly drawn to the hair curled beneath her cable knit hat.
He smirked at her unnecessary yield and teased, "Just a little."
Once they walked the final steps to the car, Jasper opened the passenger side door for Bella before walking over to his own side. Jasper turned the heat on to full blast, giving Bella time to settle into the car and expecting her to want to warm up from the below-freezing temperatures.
Nerves shot at him from the other side of the car. Jasper glanced over to see Bella who'd frozen while trying to buckle up. Jasper's heart sunk fractionally, sure of her association of the heater to his own weakness.
He reached over to settle a hand on hers, trying to catch her gaze. "I'm fine," he tried to impress the sincerity of what he was saying, sending her a wave of reassurance with his gift.
Finally meeting his eyes, Bella's heartbeat picked up. This did nothing to soothe Jasper's own nerves. Had he misunderstood the prior reasons for not accepting a ride? Perhaps she had not wanted him so near to her living quarters. He tried again, removing his hand from atop hers and pushing reassurance at her once more, "I'm going to drive you to your apartment building. I just want to make sure you get home safe."
While her heartbeat didn't slow, a sliver of disappointment snuck through her nerves. She gave a small smile in his direction and replied, "Thanks Jasper," before she finished buckling her seatbelt.
The drive to her apartment was quiet, Bella more subdued than Jasper had experienced since her time in Forks. Try as he may, he did not have a good guess for her mood shift. The closest he could guess was that his original assumption had been right and she was nervous she was making him uncomfortable that close in the car. If that was the case, he had to break her of her disillusions. He planned to be around as long as she would have him and it wouldn't do for her to be so worried about him constantly. If Jasper was confident in his own restraint, that should be proof enough that she was safe with him.
He trained his senses on the motion outside the car, trying to convince himself not to overanalyze any emotion Bella may put off once he broached the topic. Hundreds of thousands of snowflakes fell through the air as they passed through downtown Ithaca and finally crossed the bridge, heading to Bella's apartment on the North side of town. The roads were poorly plowed but between his heightened sight and reaction speed, Bella was far safer in his car than she would have been on that bus.
Once he felt he'd centered himself, he began, "I do not believe I have aptly described just how much our encounters have helped me, Bella." He glanced towards her, not being able to help himself. Her brows were furrowed as she looked at him but that same respect she'd had in their prior encounters flowed through her. "When we first spoke, I informed you of my true reasoning for attending this year, without my siblings. I am incredibly fortunate that I did choose to attend... Bella, that first day, I hadn't known you were in the same building as me until I laid eyes on you. With the number of students in that hall, I'd needed to hold my breath," he confessed, but then continued almost reverently. "Since we've started spending our time together, I haven't needed to resort to that. I cannot tell you the relief it gives me to be able to breathe." He punctuated his point by taking a deep breath in, then explained further, "As vampires, we of course don't need oxygen, but did you know each one of our senses is heightened? Each person, animal, and vampire has their own unique scent. To close off that ability can leave some feeling particularly vulnerable." He risked another glance at Bella, who continued to look at him with curiosity. "For me, it was like taking down one of my defenses. For someone with my upbringing, not being 100% aware of our surroundings can mean imminent death."
"Someone with your upbringing?" She questioned, concerned, he was sure at the mention of death.
Had Edward not told her each of their stories? No wonder she had viewed vampirism without the terrifying lens it really needed. He smiled sadly but reassuringly at her. "That's a story for another time, Bella. Just know I had a very different upbringing than my siblings. I fought for my survival for a very long time." Her worry hit him like a punch to the gut. He did not want to linger on this topic. This was not along the lines of what he had been trying to express to her. "What I want you to know is that you have helped me immensely," he caught her eyes for a moment before turning back to the road. "It has become much easier to be around you in particular, Bella. I know you worry for my comfort, but please trust me. I was very upfront with you about my challenges then, and you received them with a grace I had not been expecting. But now? Every day we spend together I become more confident that I am of no danger to you."
Jasper could sense her concern rising before she jumped in, "Jasper I don't think you are a danger to me!" As she had many times when passionately speaking before, her hands joined in the mix, gesturing between them. "I just worry! What about that time in Uris? I know you had to hold your breath during my stupid mistake. I just don't want to make things more difficult on you than they have to be."
Oh, Bella, she and her caring nature would surely get them into further trouble, he could feel it. "That's just it, Bella. I had let my guard down for a second around one of the most potent humans I have ever met. Being able to restrain myself that quickly and not needing to pre-emptively hold my breath for the whole tour was a success." He pulled up to the curb next to the tall brick apartment buildings she'd described, meeting her eyes once more.
"Potent?" She whispered. "I thought I just smelled really good to Edward."
Jasper chuckled humorlessly, "You are Edward's singer. You did far much more than smell good to him Bella. His bloodlust at any given moment was nearly intolerable. He played a very dangerous game with you. But, even the family has agreed that your scent stands out. It's just more potent, sweeter than other humans we usually come in contact with." He paused, letting that sink in for her. He was still unsure if she understood how much had changed from him in the months they'd spent together. "But, Bella, that is just one of the many reasons I considered that day in Uris a success."
Jasper grabbed her hand as she moved to push back her hair. Jasper lowered his voice, hoping she was paying extra close attention to the way his fingertips hovered over her pulse. "Did you know that my mouth watered with every blush that graced your face until we began spending our evenings in the library?" He applied a slight pressure to the inside of her wrist, hoping to draw attention to where his fingers lie. "I couldn't hear your racing heartbeat without thinking of the blood rushing through your veins. But now, Bella?" He peeked over at her frozen expression searching for any sign or whisper of emotion to say that he was scaring her. "Now my initial reaction is to check on how you are feeling. I can hold your wrist in my hand and feel your pulse, erratic in your veins and not feel the temptation I once did. Bella, I do not need you to worry yourself over how I am fairing when we are together."
The hope that had been building in Bella's chest swelled. Jasper reveled in the pride she willingly threw his way. Admiration swirled around him with a hit of guilt before getting swept away by the joy and Bella's radiant smile. "You're really okay?" She questioned, disbelievingly, turning her body fully to face him.
Jasper nodded, his own small smile growing in response to hers.
Time slowed for Jasper as Bella freed herself from his grip only to link her arms around his neck and bring them even closer. He warred with himself to stay calm, unsure of what could happen but not wanting her to get hurt. When she nestled her head next to his neck, he almost stopped breathing for completely new reasons. She was warm. Her emotions were warm. The pieces of her body that tried to press against his over the center console were warm. He was enveloped by the goodness that was Bella.
He wished he'd been more open with her about what he'd been going through. He'd waited and waited for his resolve to break, but it hadn't. And now? Here he sat, enveloped in the arms of a very special human girl, her pulse beating frantically, so close to his predatory teeth, with nothing but a sliver of his original bloodlust in sight. Then, before he knew it, she was pulling away, a smile weaning from her face.
"What does this mean for you?" She worried a moment later.
It took Jasper a few seconds to narrow down what her worry could possibly be about. "No need to worry Bella, I'll still be a college student next semester and probably for another two years after that." He smiled before teasing and trying to bring back the spontaneity that'd resulted in their hug, "Though if I play my cards right, I might even be welcomed back for a fifth year. I hear it's a little difficult to finish two majors without that extra year."
Bella glanced at the dashboard before leaning toward him again, and Jasper thought he may get a second hug. That was until she whispered conspiratorially, "You know, I hear the history department is always looking for TAs, why stop at undergrad?" She gave Jasper a coy grin before grabbing her backpack and opening up the passenger side door.
Jasper sat there, unsure of how to respond. Was that a request that he stick around Ithaca after their time in undergrad was up? Did she plan to stay in Ithaca?
Bella was quick to the goodbyes now, hair and snow assaulting her face as the wind blew. "Bye Jaz! See you tomorrow!"
He could barely get in his own goodbye before she was swinging the door shut and trudging off in the direction of where he assumed apartment 14a was located.
Thoughts still consumed by the hug she'd given him, Jasper rolled down the window to the passenger side and called after her, "Bella!"
She was quick to turn around, nearly taking a spill in the snow-covered walkway. Jasper's unbeating heart gave a lurch, but he held himself firmly in the seat. No sooner had Jasper decided to treat her as a capable human woman than Bella recovered herself and laughed giddily to herself. Pink flush washed over her cheeks as Jasper's eyes narrowed in on the snowflakes settling in her eyelashes. He chuckled as well, a warmth he couldn't distinguish filling him as he called out one more time, "Goodnight!"