Chapter 155

"Hey Claire, I'm going to go for a swim, do you want to come? Aunt Tess said there should be enough water again now that they got the water tank delivered." Charlotte asked as she walked into the cottage after the meeting..

"Yeah, that sounds fun. I'll just get my bathers on." Claire replied.

"Great, I'm glad I don't have to go alone. It'll be more fun with you!" said Charlotte.

"Thanks for asking me."

"I figure I'll just take us in the ute, that way we don't have to deal with the horses when we get back. It'll be dark by then too." said Charlotte.

"Perfect, I'll be right out." said Claire as she closed the door to change.

"So Claire, I'm glad you're coming, I know I haven't been around as much as your other cousins, but I'd love for us to be closer friends." Charlotte said as she climbed in the ute with Claire.

"Sure, I'd like that too, especially because you can drive!" said Claire, sounding impressed.

"You will too in a couple years. I'm not that much older than you." said Charlotte.

"You're an adult. You went to the Farmers Council meeting." said Claire.

"I guess I am now, but I don't think I'm really ready for all of that. I didn't expect to become part owner of this place. I don't know how to run a farm, and the meeting was super boring. Aunt Jodi and Aunt Tess were even complaining about it." said Charlotte.

"Really? It seemed like you were so confident last night." said Claire.

"Did it? I didn't feel that way. I was freaking out in front of everyone. I don't like being in the spotlight like that. I always feel like I look ridiculous. I'm tall and I feel awkward. I felt like everyone must have been thinking that Aunt Jodi and Aunt Tess and Stevie were making a huge mistake and were just too polite to say anything." said Charlotte.

"No way! They didn't make a mistake. My mom didn't know how to run a farm when she came to Drovers Run. She didn't even know how to ride a horse very well. Aunt Jodi grew up here, but never expected to be in charge of it. She told me that the first Farmers Council meeting she went to no one would listen to her. She was twenty-two! Your mom taught my mom how to ride and how to be a farmer. I reckon my mom wants to repay the favor to you. I can help you too if you want. I can fix a fence on my own, muster cattle and sheep, take care of them, and load them. I can help with sheep shearing too. I can do a lot of it now, Mom and Aunt Jodi taught me. You already know more than my mom did, and you are a lot younger than she was. You're great on a horse, so you're already ahead in that way. My mom always said the two best horsewomen she ever saw were your mom, and Stevie. Aunt Jaz is spectacular to watch when she is in her equestrian jumping mode too." said Claire. "And actually, Grace is really amazing too," I think the McLeods are just awesome on horses."

"Thanks, I'm not sure if I even want to stay around here yet, but it's good to know I won't have to learn everything from my aunts if I do. I'm embarrassed to have to ask them so much. I've learned some farming stuff from visiting here, but I was only ever here a few days at a time. I feel like I'm a disappointment to them since my mom was so great at this stuff and I'm just not." said Charlotte.

"Tell me about it. It feels like my mom is great at everything. She's beautiful and funny and everyone likes her. I have watched so many men try to date her and she never would go out with any of them, at least not until Finn. Handsome men were just always telling her she was beautiful and asking to take her to dinner. Aunt Jodi is so beautiful too. It's hard being related to that sometimes. It's a lot to live up to," said Claire.

"Well your mom mentioned you had a date today. How was that?" asked Charlotte.

"It was good actually, but I'm fourteen and a half and I just had my first date. Most of my friends had done that by the time they were thirteen. Some of them had even kissed boys when they were thirteen. No boys wanted to kiss me when I was thirteen." said Claire.

"Well I didn't have my first kiss until the day before my fifteenth birthday," confessed Charlotte.

"Really? But you're so cool and pretty."

"Well thanks, but not everyone agrees with you. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago. He is going out with a different girl already. I guess he didn't think I was that cool and pretty."

"Oh. I'm sorry Charlotte," said Claire

"It's okay. I didn't love him. Well the point is, not everyone likes the same things. I had the biggest crush on this bloke, and my friends thought he wasn't even cute. I thought he was gorgeous. My sister Alanna had a boyfriend for a while, and before he met the family, all I heard about him from her was how hot he was. I finally met him, and I didn't think he was good looking at all. I didn't tell my sister that though," admitted Charlotte.

"It must be nice to have sisters," said Claire.

"It is, and I love my sisters, but it was always sort of weird because I felt I didn't quite belong. They were sisters through both their mom and dad, I was only the half sister that came to live with them later. They were in school when I was just a baby. My step mom was wonderful to me, but I know seeing me reminded her what my dad did to her. He totally betrayed her with my mom. He was married and didn't even tell my mom he was, he just started a relationship with her and didn't tell her that he already had a family, and she loved him, and my step mom loved him too and she thought he was just traveling for work, but he was building this whole other life with my mom and she was in love with him until she finally found out he was married. When she confronted him, he said he was going to leave my step mom and abandon his family. My mom never meant to be a homewrecker, but she was. and my dad then tried to force her to marry him by threatening to take Drovers Run away because he had already lost his other family and felt it was her fault for making him fall in love with her. My dad did some terrible things and hurt a lot of people, and I'm the result of all of that," confessed Charlotte.

"I didn't know all of that about your dad," said Claire.

"Aunt Tess told me the whole story when I was sixteen. She said she felt I deserved to know the truth. She told my dad that he needed to tell me or she was going to. He didn't, so she did. My dad and step mom confirmed it. I have no idea why my step mom stayed with him. He wasn't a bad dad, but learning the real truth of what happened with my mom has kind of changed my opinion of him. He caused so much pain, then just went back to his old life like nothing had happened." said Charlotte.

"Wow, you carry a lot on you. I'm sorry Charlotte. My dad wasn't great to my mom either. She doesn't talk about it much, but I can tell he hurt her pretty badly. He never seemed very interested in Xander either, and that's his only brother's only child. That's his nephew and my dad has never even come here to meet him. It's been thirteen years! He's good to me, and to my brother Harrison, but I always felt bad for Xander. He never got to meet his father, and his Uncle Nick won't even come and meet him. He's got his Uncle Marcus, who was Alex's half brother and isn't related to my dad, but they didn't know each other growing up. I bet my dad has heaps of funny stories about Uncle Alex that Xander would love to hear. My dad's treatment of Xander is like the opposite of how my mom and Aunt Jodi treated you in a similar situation. Xander is a nice kid and deserved better from my dad. We all did. My dad has never come here for anything. He never saw any of my school shows, or came to a rodeo when I tried competing in barrel racing, or to my netball games. Will he even come when I graduate high school, or if I get married? I'm not sure I even want him to walk me down the aisle when that day comes. Would he even show up? I don't know. He seems to hate Australia. He is nice to talk to over facetime, and he calls regularly and seemed really happy to see Harrison and I when we went out to visit him a few months ago, but Uncle Matt has really been my dad when I needed one, not my actual dad. He came to my rodeo and my netball games, not my dad. It's weird loving our parents, and also seeing their faults. At least we have some other awesome people in our lives who step up when we need them." said Claire.

"It's one of the reasons I like coming to Drovers and being with my mom's family. It's more pure. The love that Aunt Tess and everyone still has for my mom is really powerful, and much less complicated. Their love hurts because she's gone, but not because she betrayed them or neglected them. Who my father is and what he did doesn't matter so much here. It lightens the load a bit I guess," Charlotte explained.

"I like when you're here. It's sort of like having a big sister. I can talk to you about stuff I can't talk to my mom or Aunt Jodi about. I've never told my mom how I hate that my dad doesn't care about Xander. I can't tell her everything. We're very close and I love her, but she is still my mom." said Claire.

"So speaking of stuff like that, tell me about this bloke you had a date with today. What's he like?" Charlotte asked.

"His name's Blake. He's fourteen like me. His dad works at Killarney, but his mom lives far away in Victoria and he usually lives with her. He stays with his dad during some of the school holidays. He was here for this week, but had to leave today. He really likes cars and mechanics and stuff. He helped with the Killarney Demo car, and he was really proud to have helped with the winning car. He also likes horses, but he only gets to ride them when he is with his dad because his mom lives in town now and he doesn't have a horse there." said Claire

"And you like him?"

"Yeah. He's really nice and I like talking to him. I like that he doesn't seem conceited like a lot of boys at school. He brought us lunch today because he was worried I rushed out and didn't get to eat before meeting up with him. He liked that I taught him about comic books and superhero movies. He told me he likes learning stuff from me, and I thought that was cool. I think he is really cute too. He has these amazing blue eyes and I really like them." said Claire.

"So is he like your boyfriend now?" asked Charlotte.

"I don't think so. He lives far away, and he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend. He did ask if he could text me and stuff. I told him he could and that I would follow him on instagram and I took a selfie of us with the horses and told him to post it and tag me. I thought I'd snap him tomorrow." said Claire.

"Do you want to be his girlfriend?"

"I don't think so, not right now, maybe if he lived closer or if we could go on more than one date. I don't know if I'm ready for a boyfriend yet. I do like him though, and I'd like to go on another date or two when he's in town next" said Claire.

"Okay, so did you kiss him?"

Claire blushed. "Yes. I kissed him after his nose stopped bleeding. He was really upset and was apologizing for ruining the date, but to me, the date wasn't ruined. I still liked him and I was still hoping he might kiss me, but I felt like he didn't think I still liked him after he bled on my shirt, so I just decided to do it." said Claire.

"Good on ya! Way to take matters into your own hands instead of waiting around for a boy. If you always wait for a boy to do what you want, you might be waiting a long time."

"He kissed me at the end of the date, but I had to tell him I wanted him to do it, like literally, I had to say 'I want you to kiss me.' He didn't seem very confident about making that move, even though I had already kissed him earlier. He said he didn't want to pressure me, and I appreciated that, but I had already told him I liked him and kissed him. Once I said that, he kissed me, twice actually. Those kisses were different though." said Claire.

"Different? How so?" said Claire.

"Well when I kissed him, I was nervous. I told him to close his eyes, but he didn't know why. Once he closed them, I just did it quickly."

"And that's the first time you kissed a boy?" asked Charlotte.

"Yeah. I was scared, but I didn't want to lose the chance. I hope I did it okay. Blake was leaving and I wouldn't see him for a couple months. He's so cute, I was afraid he would like someone else by the time he came back."

"Congratulations on your first kiss Claire, I'm sure you did just fine, but how was it different from the others?" asked Charlotte.

"Well the others were longer, and he opened his mouth on the second one, so I did too. Then he used his tongue with the kiss, so I did too. I liked it a lot. My heart was racing," said Claire.

"I see." Charlotte smiled at her cousin. "Congratulations Claire, You have officially had your first kiss and then your first french kiss. You crossed a couple milestones today. You know you never get another first kiss. No matter what happens with him in the future, Blake Chelsea will always be the first boy you kissed. I'm glad it went well for you and was with someone you really like." said Charlotte.

"Tongue is what makes it French? I never actually knew that was what made a kiss French. I was too embarrassed to ask my friends, and definitely too embarrassed to ask my mom or Aunt Jodi. Thanks Charlotte." said Claire.

"Hey, what are older cousins for? I like helping you out with this stuff," said Charlotte.

"Who was the first boy you kissed?"

"David Bergeron at my fifteenth birthday party. I had a huge crush on him, and I had heard he liked me too, but I wasn't sure if it was true. Turns out he did like me."

"That's nice, a birthday kiss." Claire said.

"It was." Charlotte smiled.