Author's Note: Stress I'm afraid does not breed creativity. Sorry for the extra long hiatus everyone!

Jasper could sense Esme's desperation from the end of the driveway and Bella's own anxieties grew with each passing moment. It was because of this that Jasper regretted agreeing to one of their terms. When Bella asked him not to mess with her emotions or the family's, he'd agreed readily. Jasper knew Bella was right when she said she needed to do this herself. He agreed his family deserved the same opportunity. It was unfortunate, however, that he would have to feel every aching second of tension between the people he was closest to.

As Jasper drove his sleek car up the snow-covered driveway, past bare maple and elm trees, Bella reflected on the surreal moment. The Cullens' current residence was vastly different from their house in Forks. There were only three similarities between the houses, from what Bella could discern. First, it was in a secluded area, a necessary measure on behalf of the whole coven. Second, both houses were massive. Third, Jasper had informed Bella, Esme took the time to restore both houses herself.

The slate roof towered over a bare, manicured, front garden and an expansive stone patio. The Tudor style gables stood out starkly against the tan siding and white snow. If the house wasn't so massive, Bella thought, it would feel more like an English cottage in the countryside.

Yet, the more Bella thought about the exorbitant amount of money that must have gone into the purchasing and restoration of this house, the more Bella was reminded of her other-ness. How she just didn't quite fit into the picture she once again found herself in.

The abandoned ex-girlfriend of a beloved son has come to reconnect with a wealthy, vampire family, accompanied by the beloved son's own brother, while the son is away.

Bella shivered, despite the heat in the car, and glanced over at Jasper for some reassurance.

"Last chance," he offered, knowingly.

Bella wasn't sure whether he meant last chance to leave or last chance to take back making him swear not to influence emotions. Either way, she whispered, "I'm good."

Jasper parked the car and turned to face her, dropping his voice to the same whisper she'd used, "I am going to be by your side the whole time. If you need to leave, if you can't handle it anymore, tell me and I will walk right back out that door with you." The look on his face was one of concern and Bella knew he was trying to help in the only way she would let him.

Their agreement had been, there was no backing out once they got to the house but she knew he wouldn't keep her to it if she wasn't ready. He would leave with her if she needed him to. His sincerity reassured her a little, but not much.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice brought her focus back to the present and he gestured towards the house, "I can feel each one of them waiting for you. They are just as anxious as you are but they are also excited." His brilliant gold eyes stared deeply into her own, "You are a part of our family and your family wants to see you."

Prickling started behind her eyes but Bella knew if she started crying now she wouldn't stop. So, she sucked in a breath and threw herself out into the frigid December air.

The walk to the front door was excruciating as Jasper rested his hand between her shoulder blades. With each step, Bella expected the door to swing open and the family to rush out. A more pessimistic side of her expected someone, Rosalie maybe, to tell her she wasn't welcome and lock the door behind her. But they approached the door without greeting and Bella sucked in one more breath of crisp cold air before Jasper opened the door.

Jasper held open the door to the warm house for Bella. The tension in the house was hair-raising but no one, he perceived, seemed quite ready to make the first move. He pushed the door shut, the finality ringing through the air as the occupants chose to remain silent.

The family stood in the walkway to the living room, a picturesque pose of a welcoming family. Nerves radiated off of each of them and the tickling of impatience gave him the feeling they were waiting for Bella to speak first.

Esme shuffled in her place next to Carlisle, an attempt to seem more human to the one human who was acquainted with their true nature. Jasper was sure it was meant to ease any discomfort but anxiety only seemed to rise in Bella.

He listened to her heart race.

Rosalie would not make the first move, Jasper was sure. This would be one of the rare instances where she did not want the attention focused on her.

Emmett wouldn't move until given the go-ahead. Carlisle had specifically talked to him beforehand about not wanting to overwhelm Bella and not to assume everything would go back to the way it had been. Still, impatience emanated strongest from the spot where he stood.

Carlisle, Jasper knew, would not move until his mate had her chance.

That left Esme whose internal war rippled across the room, a constant struggle between longing and worry.

Jasper had his own worries. He worried that Esme would wait too long, sending Bella out the door. He could feel the itch growing in them both, one to comfort and one to flee.

Then, as Bella stood there looking at the family she felt abandoned by, something started to stir in her. The fear in her turned to hurt, hurt turned to anger, and anger finally won.

"You LEFT," her voice broke.

The abruptness of her outburst was startling to much of the room, as they hadn't felt the rise in her emotions. As it were, the escalation happened quicker than Jasper anticipated. That first day, when she'd brought him to the conference room, she'd had all of class to simmer before lashing out at him. With the family, she had been standing in the doorway for mere minutes.

Hurt returned full force in Bella, nearly matched by her desperation. Jasper wanted to reach out and soothe her but he had promised to let her process the way she needed to. So instead, opting for physical comfort, he took her hand and let her air her grievances.

Bella squeezed his hand and continued, "You left me. Edward took EVERYTHING. He left me with nothing to remember any of you by. How could you let him do that?" Listening to her voice break nearly broke him. Jasper had a feeling this was the question she'd held in since the day they'd left. It didn't matter whether they had gone willingly or whether they had been lied to as she had. They had let Edward start making decisions for the whole family and that was their fault.

Esme's resolve broke and she flit forward to hug her long-lost daughter as though she could personally hold Bella together.

The second the hug registered, Bella let out a sob. Letting go of Jasper's hand, she wrapped her arms around Esme, the coolness of her body cooling down any rage Bella had left.

The gentle rhythmic pats of Esme's hand on Bella's back did just as much to soothe Jasper's own worries. He felt the tension dissolving as guilt took over as the dominant emotion for many of the people in the room.

Most surprisingly, Rosalie stepped forward, rage gently boiling behind the guilt she too felt. She didn't approach Bella but spoke firmly, glancing briefly in Jasper's direction, "I am uncertain what exactly Jasper has told you but I am sure you are aware we were lied to as well. Something like this should have never happened. I am sorry for any suffering this has caused you, Bella. I may not have been a fan of your choices but they were yours to make. Taking your choice away, cutting you off, putting you in danger, is inexcusable, not to mention how he manipulated every-."

"Rose."

After being cut off by her father figure, Rosalie turned away to better restrain herself. They'd agreed not to make this about what Edward had done to the family. When he came back, if he came back, they would deal with it but for now, they'd agreed, Bella deserved her time.

"We owe you more than an apology, Bella," Carlisle began as his mate released her from the hug. "Rosalie is right, any suffering is inexcusable but" he held his hand out to Rosalie, biding her to give him a moment, "we must also take responsibility. We have all lived with Edward for a long time, he knows how to create a situation that will lead to his preferred outcome. We are all aware that he uses what he reads in our minds but none of us put forth the effort to stop him. We made it too easy for him to find the vulnerabilities we felt about living in Forks. Not raising any questions was our second mistake. I am so sorry, Bella."

Carlisle's hands were steepled a way Jasper had seen many times before and the sincerity behind his word rang with sincerity. He'd always respected Carlisle. The man took on a mission that went against their very nature and he'd welcomed them all on that journey with him. Beyond that, he continued to work with humans to help in circumstances where human doctors may struggle. Yet, the willingness to admit fault made the respect Jasper had for him grow.

"I'd ask you to forgive us but I am sure you need time. Perhaps instead, we could catch up?" Carlisle motioned toward the sitting area.

Bella's nerves made a reappearance with the choice Carlisle offered her. She'd exploded, she felt, with emotion not too long ago and the realization left her embarrassed. They'd been gracious enough to welcome her into their home and she'd yelled at them. Perhaps, she thought, I'm not as ready as I thought I was. But they stood around her waiting for her answer and she felt miles, rather than mere feet, away from the door.

A comforting hand rested on her shoulder as she continued to deliberate. She chanced a glance back at Jasper who offered her a gentle smile and a quirk of the head. She thought back to his words in the car. He wasn't going to leave her side, he'd promised. She didn't have to do this alone. She could do this.

He must have felt her resolution because he offered her an arm.

She turned to the rest of the family to voice, "That sounds like a good idea," before turning back to Jasper and linking her arm with his.

He led her to a grey angular couch in the middle of a modern living room and Bella reflected on the odd experience as the family moved to take their own seats. Jasper and Esme sat on cushions to either side of her. Carlisle sat perched on a chair near his wife while Emmett and Rosalie moved towards the remaining love seat that finished off the living room set. The absence of Edward and Alice in the families' life made a stunning appearance once the remaining Cullens had filled the living room. The Cullen family was smaller and the room lacked an instrument she associated with the missing son. The energy she associated with Alice was missing as well.

She was spiraling, she knew, heading deeper into the doubt-filled anxiety-ridden thoughts, but Jasper took her hand and she was grounded again.

The others gave Bella time to tell her own story of what occurred when they left, only speaking up occasionally to ask a question or apologize once again. Jasper had given the family a good idea of what Bella had gone through but he'd spared them the specifics, knowing it was her story to tell. Now that she had her opportunity, Bella wasn't holding anything back.

Like that first day in the conference room, Bella faulted herself for getting lost in the woods but talked about how the terror of what she had been through and the guilt for making Charlie worry hadn't set in until long after. She explained, "Charlie kept describing it as though I was comatose. He didn't want to worry Renee at first, I think he was worried if she brought me back to Florida with her he'd never see me again, but what I put him through he wasn't prepared for. Eventually, he threatened to bring Renee to Forks so she could take me back to Florida with her. That was what did it, initially. It had only been a couple of weeks but my friends at school had already stopped putting in an effort, stopped trying to talk to me."

She shook her head, ashamed again, and Jasper squeezed her hand. If only she understood just how strong she was for having overcome all of this. The fact that she could tell her story, that she could talk about how she felt at the time said a lot about her strength.

"It made me realize just how much I had freaked out my dad. So, I tried to act normal. I tried to socialize so I could prove to him that I was fine… when I wasn't. I was hanging out with a couple of the girls from school when I… I got this convoluted idea. While we were there, in Port Angeles, these men harassed us. I think a couple of them were the same ones from the last time. We really should've stopped going to Port Angeles." Bella laughed uncomfortably and Esme's brows drew together in concern.

"Bella, honey, what happened?"

Jasper didn't know if Esme was going to make it through this conversation. The heartbreak and guilt Esme still felt was extraordinary.

Bella shook her head again, "They just harassed us but when I snapped at them… this is so embarrassing… god…" She looked away but her face turned towards Jasper, not looking him in the eyes either, instead choosing to stare at his chest.

"Bella," he tried. She didn't need to tell them anything she didn't want to. This isn't why they came over today. She needn't torture herself.

"I've got it Jaz," She glanced up quickly, warmth filling her emotions for a quick second before she looked away and it was gone. "I thought I heard Edward warning me away. I thought I heard his voice and I was desperate to hear it again. Eventually, I realized I would hear it if I put myself in danger. I came across two dirt bikes and it seemed logical to me. Charlie had always warned me away from motorcycles. He would go on and on about the number of accidents he came across each year and how gruesome they were. It sounded like the perfect idea."

Jasper, who had been keeping track of his sister's escalating feelings, was not surprised when Rose abruptly stood and left the room.

"Rosie?" Emmett called after her, Jasper could tell he was conflicted. A lot of times, she needed her space.

Jasper shook his head at his brother. This was one of the times it would do no good for him to follow. She'd been feeling appalled and anger had built in her. No doubt it was due to the recklessness which Bella was leading up to. Rosalie valued human life as much as Carlisle but for a completely different reason. Her choice had been taken from her, her ability to have children had been taken from her. The way that Bella had once again shown that she did not value her own human life rubbed Rose the wrong way.

Jasper could still feel her though, on the edge of the property, conflicted.

Bella looked to Jasper as if to ask if she should wait, but Jasper just shook his head, Rosalie would come back eventually but probably not until this part of the story was long over.

Bella continued to tell the story but quickly became worked up. Jasper's thumb ran constantly back and forth over her knuckles as she described the reckless behavior she engaged in, before things changed with Jacob. It was a shock to Jasper that she continued to tell the family about her hallucinations.

Bella had just started to describe how she'd reunited with Jacob as Rosalie made her way back into the room. Bella shifted again towards Jasper, guilt and longing edged past the shame and heartache Bella had been feeling.

Jasper wished Bella knew Rosalie was trying to give her a chance and he hated himself once more for not being able to stop this torrent of emotions inside of her. She didn't deserve to feel this way. She'd pulled herself out of a shitty situation and she shouldn't feel the need to defend any of her actions, as though they made her lesser.

Seeming genuinely confused about the concept of accepting Jacob as the supernatural creature he was, Emmett asked, "But he's a wolf, how could you trust him?"

Jasper had wondered the same thing at the start. He'd been familiar with the concept of werewolves and couldn't picture a human wanting to be near one. However, from Bella's stories, Jasper had weaned that they were far closer to human than he'd given them credit for. As volatile as they may potentially be, he could credit one, maybe even the whole pack with Bella's recovery. Emmett however was probably still wondering how she could be so close to this other species, and it only made her more distraught.

Bella's other hand gripped at Jasper's wrist, like she was clinging to a buoy out at sea.

He considered putting an arm over her, wondering if the added weight would help, he was sure he could regulate the pressure he applied well enough to rub her back, but stopped himself when he found Esme's eyes on him. Caution and curiosity trickled towards him. Though he'd told his family he'd been spending time with Bella, he realized, he hadn't told them the extent. They didn't know of the friendship that had resulted or how she'd helped him in return. They weren't used to the way he interacted so familiarly with a human. In fact, now that he'd peaked past Bella's torrent of emotions, he realized he hadn't been keeping track of his own family's for some time. While they were all still listening intently to the story Bella was telling, a range of concern and confusion seeped through.

A part of him instinctively wanted to pull away from Bella. He was so used to reacting to the family's urgency for caution. They knew his track record but, Jasper reasoned, they were not yet aware of his successes.

He remembered the warmth of the hug Bella gave him in the car the past week. He didn't need to worry, he rationalized. That occurrence had been the closest he had ever been to a human neck without drinking from it and the thought hadn't even crossed his mind until now. Yet, he didn't want to push it and draw his family's attention further away from Bella.

As Jasper continued to run his thumb over Bella's knuckles, he let his own internal conflict die off, silently urging his family to let Bella make it through the rest of her story.

Bella was telling the family about how Jake convinced her college was still the right choice for her and her "big brains." She continued, "He had the pack gang up on me to try and convince me… I think they were scared I was going to try and hide on the rez for the rest of my life." She grew thoughtful, "I might've. It's not that I was scared of Laurent coming back, they'd taken care of him, but... I hadn't planned to make any decisions past high school. My choice had been to be with you all . Sure, I was better than at the start but, it didn't feel like I had an obvious choice. It didn't take them long though, I swear I found a new brochure every time I opened the door to my truck. It was the Cornell brochure that finally convinced me though. It looked so magical, and a part of me thought everything would be easier if I just got away from Forks for a while."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jasper give a minute flinch, as though she'd been directing those words at him. Regret filled her, she hadn't meant it like that and he should know it. She looked pointedly at him, "I'm glad I ended up at Cornell, though. Even before Jasper made his appearance I knew it would be good for me."

Bella was just turning her attention back to the rest of the family when Emmett surprised her by suddenly standing. She'd been confused by the distance he'd kept since she arrived. Jasper had told her that Emmett was impatient to see her but he'd hardly spoken to her, it was all very unlike the Emmett she knew. The rest of the family hadn't said anything yet but Carlisle and Rosalie looked as though they were concerned for the outcome of whatever was about to happen.

Emmett made his way over to her, stopping just before her. She'd forgotten how big he was. Towering over her, with his broad shoulders and intense presence made him feel more like a bear but Bella felt no fear. She didn't need Jasper to tell her Emmett was distraught, impermanent lines pulled at his brows and his mouth was set in a small frown.

Her curiosity grew when he crouched down to her level on the couch.

Emmett was uncharacteristically serious when he spoke, "I don't want to believe that you went through shit like that because of us but Carlisle was right, we didn't ask any questions when Edward told us it was time to leave. It's our fault too. I'm sorry Bella."

Bella couldn't stand the kicked puppy look Emmett wore on his face. He'd always teased her and made her feel welcome at the Cullen house. He was the fun yet slightly annoying brother that always seemed to be around. She was used to his grinning face. This was anything but grinning.

The frown pulling at the corners of Bella's own mouth was interrupted by Emmett suddenly lifting her into a hug.