Author's Note: I can't decide if the most interesting part of writing this chapter was how hard I had to think about how I used to shorten words when I had a flip phone or how I had to rewrite an entire section because I forgot the sun sets much earlier in December. I lost count on the number of times I had to edit the texts but forgetting about the sun felt like it deserved a facepalm.

Anywho, we are getting into the good stuff I promise! I also promise that I will not abandon this fic. It will take a while (hasn't it already?) but at this point it's become more about proving to myself that I can finish it. Hope you enjoy being along for the ride!

Dread was all Bella felt anytime she looked at her phone. It had been days since she had last talked to Jasper and, at this point, she was positive that the reintroduction to the Cullen family had gone worse than she'd thought. Would ever actually hear from him or had they just left her, again?

It was a compulsion. Unable to get the thought of Jasper texting out of her head, she'd cleaned and reflexively checked her phone throughout the weekend. When there had been no more cleaning to do, that had been the worst time. No cleaning meant no distractions. Bella had tried to binge a couple of shows but hadn't been able to follow the plots. Her mind always strayed to why he hadn't texted back yet.

By Monday, it was worse.

Monday, without class, she'd been so caught up in her worry that she lost track of time and almost missed work. Almost.

But even at work, her mind provided her with endless scenarios that left her at fault and alone, again.

It was on her walk to the bus stop after work that Bella had enough of the anxiety running rampant through her body and needed a better distraction.

Bella 4:03 PM

Hey how r things going the rez?

At first she wondered at the likelihood of Jake being available atthat moment, given his obligations with the pack and chaotic sleep schedule, but before she could even flip her phone closed she'd received a response.

Jacob 4:04PM

gr8? idk dad & sam told ur dad some of the old stories cpl nights ago

Jacob 4:04PM

I guess they r talking again

Bella wasn't surprised. She knew her dad could and would hold a grudge even if Billy was one of his closest friends. It frustrated her to no end knowing that Charlie could cut off people who were a big part of his life. It wasn't healthy and Charlie already spent too much time alone. Well, less alone now since he's been spending time with the Clearwaters. But Bella also knew this situation was something Charlie would probably want info on straight from the source, and who a better source than then alpha and the chief?

Bella 4:05 PM

No surprises. PLZ dont let my dad make any1 mad. He was still a little pissed last time I spoke 2 him.

Jacob 4:06 PM

Sure sure

Jacob 4:06 PM

How's college life?

How did Bella describe it? This hadn't been the first time he'd asked but every previous time she'd been inundated with work and only thought to point out how little time she had or how often she went to the library, but now? She was on break and she hadn't really seen anyone she knew since classes let out. Most of her friends from class or people she knew around campus had gone home for the break and Jasper hasn't been answering her texts. She wouldn't talk about him anyway. Bella couldn't imagine how angry Jacob would be if he found out she was talking to a Cullen again, let alone most of the Cullen family.

Bella 4:08 PM

On break &it's weirdly empty

Jacob 4:09 PM

Throw any parties?

Bella snorted at the ridiculousness of it. Her, throw a party? Since when did she seem like the kind of person that would host or even want that many people over? She got enough human contact by working at the bookstore and attending classes, thank you very much.

Bella 4:09 PM

Haha

Bella 4:10 PM

No it's just me and my cactus since finals ended. Charlie will b here Fri though so it'll b nice.

Bella wondered if she should ask him about his own schooling. Several of the pack had decided to get their GED's while a couple of the younger ones were being told they needed to keep attending school. From what Bella could tell, Jacob felt more of a duty to the pack than to his schooling and had been edging out of the school system since his transformation.

She wondered if he'd gone at all this year but just as she was about to text and ask if he'd decided what to do about school, her phone started vibrating.

Jasper's name flashed across the screen.

Adrenaline shocked Bella's system and she didn't think she'd ever hit the accept button so fast in her life.

Silence greeted her on the other end of the line and she let out a confused, "Jaz?"

"Hello, Bella"

Just hearing his voice was enough to put many of her fears at bay but her anxiety about why he hadn't answered her all weekend lingered on the edges of her thoughts. There was one in particular that pestered her, telling her he was just calling to let her know he and the family were leaving again.

Letting out a shaky breath she rushed on, "I was so worried when I didn't hear from you." She knew her voice had started shaking as well, but could he blame her? "Wh-what's going on?"

Jasper released his own breath and Bella readied herself for a defeating blow, ready to be told by yet another person she'd come to care about that she wasn't worth it.

But that wasn't what came out of Jasper's mouth.

"I'm so sorry Bella," she thought maybe she misheard him but he carried on, "I just got your messages. I was on a hunt. I–" he cut himself off. "It was necessary. I didn't mean to leave without telling you first, I was just in such a hurry–"

Relief and rage bubbled up inside of her, tears stinging her eyes. "You're sorry?!" Lord help her, she doesn't want to be caught crying while waiting for the bus.

Jasper didn't think he'd be able to say it enough. "I'm so sorry." He was lucky when the guilt that was clawing at his chest didn't claw at his voice too. He couldn't feel her emotions from so far away but he heard the hurt in her voice, it tore at him in ways he didn't think possible and he knew he had to make things right. He had to make things up to her

"You left-" her voice broke, and Jasper wished he'd been a stronger man, wished he'd stayed instead of ran. "You left, just like Edward did. Except instead of telling me that I wasn't worth it, you left me to catastrophize all weekend about what could have happened to you or what you and your family must think of me."

He thought the world of her but he didn't think now was the time to tell her that. "Bella, I apologize grievously for my mistake. I did not intend to make you worry and you should never have to question what I or anyone else thinks about you. I made the choice to go out on the hunt but it was my mistake to not inform you, the rest of the family was unaware of my departure, so don't blame them." He thought a second more before giving his idea a chance. "And I would like to spend time with you on Thursday, or tomorrow if you'd let me." He'd harkened back to her text from Saturday with hope that it would give her a little reassurance that he did actually care.

He was relieved when she paused, he assumed to think about it. Her voice was small when she continued, "You want to spend time with me on Thursday?"

"I'd like to see you before then, but I thought I would answer your original request." He thought over the run he'd have to make back to Ithaca and the shower that would need to ensue. It meant he wouldn't be available until later this evening and he wasn't sure how she'd feel about having him over late into the night. Not that he thought she thought anything would happen. What would happen? It felt as though his mind was spinning. He'd come to some conclusions about his own feelings but had no proof that Bella felt the same way or ever would.

When he hadn't continued, Bella had for him, "I've got work tomorrow until 4 and on Wednesday from 9-3."

They hadn't really minded Bella's sporadic hours when they went to the library, but it had meant they left the library late some nights. With it being closed and them being in between classes, they didn't really have an area besides Bella's apartment and the Cullen house where they could hang out.

Jasper itched to be alone with her, not really thinking past his newest revelation. "If you wouldn't mind, I could drive you home from work tomorrow. Then, you'd finally get to show me your apartment." He smiled to himself. "Though if you did a bunch of rearranging for Charlie I'll have to visit again once it's back to normal."

–

Jasper was reverently grateful for the level of tint his family had been able to acquire for their vehicles. Even though the sun would technically set in 6 minutes, it had been an unusually sunny winter day for Ithaca, and the remaining rays seemed to light up the area just as brightly. Bella had offered to take the bus home and meet him at her apartment, willing to put off their reunion for the 30-40 minutes it took her to traverse the city. Jasper however, couldn't wait. He'd insisted that he was able to take enough precautions that picking her up and getting them to her apartment wouldn't put him at any risk of exposure.

Still, when Jasper pulled up to the curb in front of the bookstore and texted Bella that he had arrived, he felt a regretful twinge. He supposed now that his own intentions were becoming clearer to him, it felt wrong to sit and wait for her. The more gentlemanly thing to do would be to escort her to the car and get the door for her. But his bemoaning thoughts were put aside when a ball of anxiety approached the car. He supposed it would be like this, gaining her trust back was a crucial task he'd set himself with. He sent a wisp of calm to soothe her anxiety as she opened the door.

Jasper shifted away from the patch of sunlight as she settled herself in the seat, prepared to greet her, but was taken aback when the door closed and he was suddenly encased in her scent. It wasn't something he'd given mind to when coming to pick her up, more worried about the sun and what he would say when he saw her. Typically they spent several hours together before they were enclosed in a car but he hadn't seen her for several days now and he hadn't the mind to give himself the normal pep talk.

Everything that filled the car was overwhelmingly Bella. Her scent was mouthwatering but the emotions that followed blanketed him in a sense of need.

She'd missed him. He could see it clearly in the small smile she gave as she turned his way, and heard the hope in her voice when she said, "Hi, Jaz."

The corner of his lips lifted with some hope of his own and he reached across to gently take her hand, desperately hoping the small amount of contact would help reassure her, "Hello, Bella."

She squeezed his hand, unable to make a dent in his marble skin, before quickly releasing it and moving to buckle her seat belt.

He was relieved to not feel any residual anger coming from her, though he tried again to soothe her anxiety. He would definitely have to be on top of his replies to her in the future, he thought, thinking about that morning when she called to make sure he'd gotten her text about picking her up 30 minutes later than she had originally stated. She seemed particularly on edge but he didn't feel that wasn't anything he couldn't quell with persistence and time.

It took them longer than it should have to get back to her apartment. Jasper had asked about dinner and her need for food, to which she admitted she was hungry and would need to deal with that at some point. He'd courteously stopped at a Subway for her after feeling her emotions spike at the sight of its sign. After that, they'd come into rush hour which put a damper on the way he preferred to drive.

Eventually he was turning into an unfamiliar parking lot on the other side of the building from where he usually dropped her off. Jasper had an idea of where her apartment would be but until he saw the way they were numbered he wasn't positive on which one was hers. Apartment 14a was located on the second floor of an apartment facing the North East.

He ditched most of his winter gear that he'd been prepared to use to cover his skin but kept his wool coat for appearances. He knew it was supposed to be around 26 tonight when he expected to leave the apartment and he would definitely get some looks if all he was wearing when he left was a henley.

"It should be fine for your car to take up a spot for a few hours. I don't have a car here so I never registered for a spot but um, technically we are allowed visitors if we preregister but you're only going to be here for a few hours so… it should be fine. It shouldn't get towed or anything." Bella's hands were shoved deep into her coat and her boots sunk deeper into the snow as she rocked backward.

He wasn't sure what pushed him but he felt a sudden urge to give her a hard time. "Should be fine?" He could feel a smile coming on so he didn't turn to look at her. "You're not saying we would be breaking any rules, right? Should I be worried about my car getting towed?"

Bella's shock struck him from behind before she started sputtering, "What?! No of course not! Your car should be fine. I mean if it's not, it would totally be my fault and I would pay for the tow but it'll be fine! You aren't going to be here overnight or anything and I'm pretty sure that's what the preregistration is about. So it's fine!"

When he finally peaked at her her eyes were wide and though he felt a little bad about her taking him so seriously, he couldn't help but push it a little bit further, finally turning to face her, the corners of his lips edging their way up "How will the chief feel when you give him the same speech?"

Her shock doubled, but instead of panic, it was replaced with outrage and amusement, "How dare you play me like that! I thought you were legitimately worried about your car! You know it'll be fine! You probably don't even care about a tow, if anything you're probably more worried about it getting a scratch!" Bella ended her rant with her arms crossed, her own lips edging upward.

Jasper's smile grew fond as he shook his head. It was a little too fun to rile her up. "Hey now, I am just looking out for your best interest. I didn't know if you'd thought through the ramifications of Chief Swan finding out his own daughter is a small-time delinquent."

Bella had clearly had enough by that point and started trudging through the snow calling back, "The rules don't say anything about a couple of hours. I'm not a delinquent!"

Eventually, when they made it up to her apartment and she stepped aside to let Jasper in, he was struck by the feeling of being let into a space that was for her, that she shared with no one else. Sure, he'd expected everything to smell like her, it was her apartment after all, but it felt like her too.

Bella took off her shoes and tossed her sub onto the coffee table calling out, "Feel free to look around, I'm just going to freshen up real quick," as she made her way through the door he assumed led to her bedroom and from there the bathroom.

While he didn't need it, he flicked on the lamp she had next to her couch, knowing she'd need the light when she returned. The apartment was small, a one bedroom with an attached bath, and a living room that flowed into the kitchen. She'd positioned a couch against the wall that led to her bedroom and a bookshelf adjacent to that. He imagined it was just close enough that if she stretched while sitting on the couch she wouldn't even need to get up to reach a book, this made him smile. Her shelves weren't full but had what he was sure she'd deemed the necessities when she moved. There were several Jane Austen and Emily Bronte novels as well as a few of Shakespeare's works, though the majority of her bookshelf seemed to be books she had read for her Literature as Moral Inquiry class as well as a few textbooks she had seemed to already have acquired for her next semester's course work.

Her bookshelf didn't surprise him and he let his curiosities lead him elsewhere, curious about the few pictures she had tacked to a corkboard.

It was interesting to him to find out what she had been like prior to him meeting her. The pictures she had displayed showed her at various outdoor music and sporting events with a woman he recognized as her mother, but Jasper knew enough to infer that she'd probably gone to those events to make her mother happy.

Instead, he found pieces of the real Bella in the way she kept a cactus on the counter next to a photo of her and her dad. They were posed in front of the red Chevy truck she left in Forks. He also noticed the way she had three different kinds of girl scout cookies stacked up next to a mug covered in classic literature quotes. Those were the things that fit the Bella he'd gotten to know over the last few months. It was those things that made him want to know more.

It was later, after Bella's eaten her dinner that Jasper brought up their plans for the rest of the week and somehow found his next two days filled with Bella, not that he would complain. In fact, he wouldn't admit it if asked but he was quite upset that her father coming into town in 3 days meant that he wouldn't be seeing her for nearly a week following his arrival.

"I think it'd be nice to see the family again before the holiday." Bella's voice rang through her small apartment. They were both resting upon the couch closer than the tables of the library typically allow. Jasper's eyes hooked on the way Bella drew her bottom lip into her mouth to chew on it and he thought about their evenings in the library when she would reach out her hand to caress his. Somehow he felt like him doing that same thing in this moment would read differently.

As she worried her lip Jasper noticed the way flush rose in her cheeks and her emotions lost their steadiness. Hints of longing and embarrassment tipped through the calm that had overlaid their evening. "I'd just like to request one thing."

This made him look up, that urge to make her happy still there even if underlaid with more pert reasons. "What can I do for you, Bella?"

"Can you make everyone promise not to get me any gifts?" She smiled small, a twinge of guilt seeping through, "I don't have anything for them and I would feel weird accepting gifts from them."

The family, particularly Esme, wouldn't like it but if that was the cost of seeing Bella another day he was sure they'd accept those terms. He returned the smile, settling into the couch next to her, "I'm sure I can reason with them."

Jasper shifted once more, keeping up the comforting act of playing human and let the cushions settle him closer to Bella, wondering if he should reach out for her hand as she had for his in the past. It was these thoughts that almost distracted him from the flickers in her emotions as she pulled a blanket onto her lap. Flickers of hope, admiration, and the tiniest bit of anticipation.