Author's Note: There are topics in Jasper's past that are dense and that Stephanie Meyer did not write much about. What I have written about Jasper's human life is most likely not accurate and I have probably missed something that Meyer said or a blurb from a book that would give me a more accurate depiction of him. That being said, there are mentions of beginning for Jasper that I find somewhat more acceptable than other alternatives given that he was a confederate soldier.
Bella was surprised at the ease with which Jasper fit himself into the parts of her life she found so mundane. Last night, they'd sat on the couch for hours talking as the evening grew late. While she tried to restrain herself from scooching ever closer, they'd discussed everything from how she thought Charlie had been acting a little weird, even considering the werewolf situation, to what Jasper's human life had been like prior to his change.
She'd already known he was a southern boy. All she would've had to do to figure that out was get him to say something, but that wasn't what interested her the most. It was the details of what he could and what he could not remember. He could remember the name of his gelding but not his room in the house he grew up in. He could remember how his favorite meal his mom made was roast pork with apple sauce but not how well he got along with his sisters. He figured he'd loved them if he felt such a strong need to protect them.
She was struck dumb to find out he raced into war and lied about his age because he felt the need to protect his family and keep the patriots out of Texas. He talked about the lack of faith his whole area had in the federal government at the time and, he admitted, it was convincing to his 17-year-old brain. The 17-year-old was so passionate, determined, charismatic, and good at anything that he put his mind to that he became Major Jasper Whitlock by the time he was 19.
Though Bella knew the Southern Vampire Wars were critically traumatizing to him, she wondered what the guilt of joining the confederates and knowing how it ended decades later did to him. So she'd asked and Jasper told her about the mental toll that the death and destruction had wrought upon him. He'd also indicated that with the circumstances of his own turning, he'd ceased to think about any war other than the reason he was turned until long after he'd escaped Maria's grasp. It wasn't just the feeding on humans and feeling their pain that had weighed him down. It was all of the suffering that he helped directly or indirectly promote throughout the years. It didn't hit him how much the world had changed until Alice introduced him to the Cullens in 1950 and they subsequently brought him closer back to humanity and he once more became aware of the political climate.
The more he told her the more she wanted to know.
She contemplated how Jasper had left the previous night at half-past 10, later than she'd anticipated, and the look he'd given her before bidding her a good night. The look had made her nerves tingle.
She tried in vain to remind her brain to behave itself while at work and to keep focused on taking inventory but her mind just kept drifting. It always seemed to drift back to Jasper.
The end of her shift couldn't have come fast enough. There were exponentially fewer customers while college is out of sessions and Bella couldn't keep her focus to serve them anyway. When Jasper had pulled up to the curb, all of her excitement that had built up over the day poured out of her faster than she could get a grip on. There was no doubt in her mind Jasper had felt the longing and desire that had snuck its way in there either.
The look he'd given her then had made her heart nearly stop, it was intense and searching.
He'd felt it. He was sure he had felt her interest. He'd been so torn the night before, thinking that it might be wishful thinking but he was more sure now. However fleeting, it had been there. Lust and attraction had been there, hidden behind the affection she typically had for him, he was sure of it.
Jasper had stopped again to let her pick up a sub for dinner. She'd wondered several times but never asked if he thought her lazy for not making her own dinner or if he found it convenient because he didn't have to watch her make something he would find so unappetizing. Eventually, that thought faded into the back of her mind as they settled in, just as at ease as they were yesterday, despite what had happened earlier.
She'd been making jestful comments or asking questions in between bites while Jasper told her about his and Emmett's plans for the holiday. He was quite lively today in a way that she thought was quite cute, not a word she often associated with the vampire, which is why his silence surprised her once she finally finished eating and turned to face him.
His eyes held an emotion she couldn't quite place but she felt her own smile slip a little at the intensity of his gaze. She was sure he didn't look upset but she couldn't seem to parse it out. It was different than the look he'd given her earlier. This one set her skin on fire, it harkened back to how she'd felt last night. He's been giving her a lot of looks, she realized. He'd been acting quite unlike the friend she'd come to know.
Jasper had been sitting casually, forearms braced on his knees, but in the time that she'd taken to process his look, he'd raised his hand up toward her face. She waited for her heart to stop in anticipation, but instead of the many ways she'd pictured his hand coming up to cup her jaw, she felt his cold fingers press against her cheek as his thumb gently wiped at the corner of her mouth.
The rush of fire she'd been feeling was quickly doused, as though a bucket of cold water had truly been dumped over her head.
He'd felt the need to help her tidy herself up when she was so clearly a mess. She was ashamed to even think about the hope that had risen in her in those few seconds.
He could spend hours talking to her, it could be nonsense, he was sure, but he knew he'd still enjoy it. She didn't seem to have a problem with him talking about the hunting trips he planned to go on and even seemed curious as to how they had their different draws.
He'd been just about to tell her about the thrill of tracking a predator as it hunted its own prey when she'd turned to look at him. She was so beautiful he knew there would be a special place built for him in Hell just for looking at her. Rationally, he knew he hadn't always felt this way but it was becoming more and more obvious over the last couple of days that all roads would have eventually led here. Even if he and Rose had managed to convince the others that Isabella Swan needed to be taken care of in the beginning, how could he have gotten that close to her and still succeeded? He was convinced that a waft of her emotions alone would have put a stop to his plans. There was something about Isabella Swan that seemed to draw vampires to her, that was certain, but for him? The more time he spent with her, away from the others, the harder it was to think about ever having to leave her.
That's why he savored every lick of affection she sent his way and when she'd occasionally let herself feel more for him, took long drinks of her more indicative feelings. It's why when she turned to him, smiling with a yellow smear next to her rosy bowed lips, he couldn't help himself.
She must not have known it was there because as his hand crept closer to her face, the desire he'd felt from her earlier peaked back out. There was no doubt in his mind that she wanted him to touch her then, but the moment was fleeting because the second his thumb swiped away at the food on her face, her emotions surged with embarrassment and awkwardness, leaving him wondering just how much of it had been him and his wishful thinking.
The Christmas season at the Cullen's without Alice's overplayed hand in decorations was still marvelous and far more than Bella had attempted in her own apartment. Instead of being decked out in lights with garland covering every spare inch as it had in the other house, nearly two years ago, their new residence was daintily decorated. Bows and bells were kept to a minimum while a pine garland was diligently draped over railings and banisters. The most prominently Christmas features in the house were the minimalistic but real Christmas trees featured in each room of the house, leaving a fresh pine smell for her to enjoy as she greeted each of the residents. She enjoyed this style of decoration and commented on such while greeting Esme.
Esme's smile widened, "You're too kind Bella. We don't do much since we've all had a large number of Christmas celebrations over the years but we do like to buy local and support small vendors." She led Bella over to one of their smallest trees at only 3', which was potted and placed in a corner of the kitchen. Upon revealing a tag with handwritten directions for how to take care of the tree until they can plant it in the spring, Esme added "With as much money as we've accumulated over the years, it feels good to spread the wealth to people who would benefit from it."
This led to a conversation bout the many charitable organizations Esme had joined over the years and other ways they'd helped communities.
"If there's ever a time we feel something truly needs to be done within a community on a larger scale, we tend to anonymously donate since we don't want our names or pictures documented too heavily."
Carlisle, who had joined them not long before grew solemn as he explained, "Over the years it has become much more difficult to remain out of the prying eyes of this new age of technology. I'm afraid others of our kind will find it necessary to sink even further into lives of seclusion as cameras and new ways of sharing information continue to grow."
Worry for the family and the attachment she felt to Jasper grew but it wasn't long before Jasper pressed a hand to her back in comfort, as he had done so many times before. Still, the worry pestered her, "What about all of you? I get trying to remain anonymous but what about working and going to school? Will you continue to be able to… play human?" She wasn't sure if that was a good way to put it but that's the way it came out. It was essentially what they were doing and she hoped they knew she didn't mean it maliciously.
With his calming presence beside her, she had to resist relaxing into him as he chimed in, "You're not wrong. Playing human, as you put it, has been harder and we are afraid it will become even more difficult in the coming decades but," he looked to his adoptive father then and leaned casually against the breakfastnook where they'd been standing, "while we are not incredibly adaptive creatures, we are good at survival and know how to bide our time. We all have connections and where those fall through we have money and more connections that would do a lot for us without much convincing."
Bella was grateful when Emmett finally barged in to claim some of his "quality time" with her. The conversation had been so grim, not something she was used to with the Cullens. The more she thought about it, the more it reminded her of her time on the run from James. She wondered how much of their time was spent planning for the future and how much was spent actually living.
It was Emmett's whoop of victory that brought her out of her thoughts. Jasper had helped ease some of the tension Bella had felt building inside the house by suggesting video games and Emmett had wholeheartedly agreed. They'd spent the last 2 hours playing Mario Kart.
When her phone started ringing, something it hardly ever did outside of the weekly calls her parents gave her, she scrambled for it. She'd already talked to them both but seeing the caller ID briefly before flipping it open she let out a confused, "Hi, Charlie." She was sure they'd hammered out all of the details before she'd gone to work yesterday.
Sensing eyes on her, she went to the window to take the call, knowing the effort was futile.
"Hey kiddo." Charlie's voice was gruff on the other side of the phone. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the flight out of Seatle tomorrow was canceled. There's a big front coming with a nasty storm. We've been on the phone with the airline all day trying to reschedule the flight. The airline thinks the flights going out Saturday will take off on time, as long as the storm stops overnight like it's supposed to." Charlie pauses for a moment. "I'll get to spend one less day with you but I'll make it out there I promise."
Bella stifled her sigh of disappointment, hoping she could hide it from Charlie even if someone else in the room was sure to pick up on it. "That sucks. At least you were able to get another flight out of Seatle this weekend. Is the storm supposed to hit you bad?"
She heard some shuffling around and other voices before he responded, "Yeah we are supposed to get a couple of inches but it's nothing we can't handle. One of the boys on the rez has car with all-wheel drive, so we're sure to make it to the airport and that way I won't have to leave the cruiser in one of their parking lots."
Jasper stood as she turned around, phone closing in her hand. A slight frown on his lips the proof that he knew how much this affected her. Neither she nor Charlie were big on showing affection but she'd grown so attached to her dad during her time in Forks that she had truly been looking forward to his visit. She tried to shake herself of the feelings though because it wasn't like he isn't coming, he was just coming a day later.
Esme chimed in first, "Sorry about your dad's flight, honey. You're free to spend time here if you would like. We wouldn't want you to feel lonely."
Before she could even think to thank Esme for the offer, Jasper was catching her attention, eyes lit with a plan. "I saw a flyer while we were still on campus last week for a winter solstice market downtown." He closed the gap between them, hope filling his voice, "The flyer said it is open until 7:30, so we could go after sundown. You mentioned still needing to get Charlie a present, this could be a good opportunity."
Jasper's gaze warmed the dissappointed side of her. Another day with Jasper was certainly not a day wasted. With a small smile she agreed, "Sure, that sounds like fun." Bella tried not to think of it as a date, she tried but just the thought of them strolling through a dimly lit marketplace together had her heart fluttering, that was until Emmett opened his mouth, "Yeah! We could all go! I certainly haven't gotten any gifts–."
Esme rushed in, "You know, I just remembered something I'm going to need help with Emmett. You'll have to find some other time to get those gifts, I'm not sure we'll have the time to go with them."
And like that, Bella's heart resumed its treacherous rhythm.