RAVEN ROCK

The Listener

I sway in my sleep. I don't really know where I am. It was all hazy. Just shadows and whispers. When my eyes fly open, for a brief moment, I'm worried she's back in my head. That the dagger Mjoll plunged through her heart actually sent her back to my body.

But there's nothing. Absolutely nothing. The Ebony Blade is still strapped to my back. But it's like there's no power. It's very weak. Icheck my hands, my feet, my arms and legs, all intact and unbound. When I sit up, I see we are in the belly of a ship. I crinkle my nose when I get that scent of old mildew and sea water. Gross.

"You're awake." I nearly yelp when I hear his voice. I turn my head from my little green covered cot to see someone I thought I'd never see again.

"You have to be a hallucination." I say bluntly.

"Lass, would you really remember all these scars and this ruffled hair?" Bryn motions to his horrible, horrible, tangled bedhead.

Yes, the answer, is yes, I would. But I leap up to race to him anyways, mirage or not.

He groans when I slam into him. We go toppling to the ground with another crest of the wave. The ships rolls, to the right and I laugh when we roll as well. Now he's on top of me, and bad bedhead or no, I need to kiss him.

"Come here, I missed you." I say. He doesn't have to ask, just rests his lips on mine. It's soft at first, before becoming a fierce, passionate kiss that I know will be seared into my memory and possibly my skin.

When he comes up for air I giggle as we roll left with the ship. "This is fun. I haven't been on a ship in a while."

"I should have known that would be your first words." He tugs on one of my braids which are now falling into his face. I squeal when he goes to kiss me again, but we go rolling right. His lips land square on my neck. I can't stop my laughing.

"What's got you so giggly?" His hands give a little shake on my waist. A little tickle here and there with his fingers. I laugh harder.

"It's just…holy shit. Bryn. I saw my parents!" The haze is broken. I sit up and so does he. He rolls off me ,so we sit parallel to one another. I keep a good leg up to steady us so we don't go rolling again. "I was in Sovngarde. Bryn. It's beautiful. Like Skyrim but…prettier. More colors, more skies, clouds, trees. My parents." I gasp.

He sits up to pull me to him. "And her?"

The Night Mother. "I don't know. Mjoll stabbed her after flaying her face and chest open. I thought she was dead. Last I saw, she raised her hand and this big guy named Summer shouted at us. Then I woke up here."

His grip tightens. "Summer? Strange name."

"Is she dead?" I ask.

Silence. Another beat of silence.

"No. Listener. Cicero would know if Mother was dead. She still lives." A strangled voice comes from the cot right above mine. Both Bryn and I stare at it before I rise, slowly, as if any quick movement would send that creep flying down to kill us.

"I thought you were dead." I state. When I see his form, I recoil. He's really bloody, the bandages only do so much to keep all his organs in his abdomen. He stares at me with hooded but wild eyes, his brow is damp from the relentless sweat. He takes in a strangled breath. "Missed me? I missed you."

"How are you alive?" I ask him. I remember that dragon nearly snapped him in half.

"Mother was gracious. She gave Cicero a potion. It only did so much. In due time he found a group of cultists skulking about. Looking for the Dragonborn. I said I could help them find her if they just helped sweet Cicero." His voice raises a few octaves before he breaks out into a grin. "How was Sovngarde, hm? Was it as you dreamed it? How was Mother? You said she was hurt?"

Man, do I want to kill him. I want to be done with it and literally throw him into the sea. But I keep my composure. I remember when that dragon nearly incinerated me with its power. It was inches from snapping its fangs into me but he shoved me out of the way. And now, he's paying the price for it.

Bryn stands next to me. Based on his posture, he's just as enraged. Instead of telling him to cool down, I talk to Cicero. "Thank you for saving me back there near the portal. I would've been dragon meat."

His eyes go vacant as he turns his head to stare at the impossibly dirty ceiling. "Listener, Cicero would die for you. If it meant you would help Mother."

I figure, it's an eye for an eye, I won't prod about her anymore. "Okay. So, where are we?"

"On a ship to Solstheim. We are to commune and meet Miraak, the legendary Dragonborn. I think he can help us find Mother."

All that goes right over my head. Bryn snakes his hand into mine. I clutch his tightly. If I have him with me, then we can certainly take this on and win. "Wait, you, how the hell did you get here?" I raise a brow to Bryn.

His grin is sheepish before he becomes reserved. "I was scouting the Reach with Vilkas, Vorstag, Serana and Gabriel. We had just gotten to Whiterun since Vilkas said that was the last place he heard Mjoll speak to him. Aerin was there. He was talking to the Princes, they said that you were taken to the border near Morrowind. Vilkas heard that Mjoll might end up on the Throat of the World, so we split up. He went to High Hrothgar with the vampires, and I told Gabriel to stay with Aerin. I made my way over those mountains and ran into the cultists. They said they could give me safe passage to that temple. I was a fool to believe them, but I'm happy I fell into their trap. Now I'm with you." He gives my hand another squeeze. I'm just staring at him dumbfounded.

"What about the others?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen them since." He says solemnly.

Damn. I'd feel bad if anything happened to them. But I have to remind myself that most those people are competent warriors and Gabriel was safe with the wolves. I just have to think about the present. "I don't remember waking up on that mountain. Just here."

Bryn nods, "They brought you in quickly so the dragons wouldn't see. And the Night Mother I am guessing."

My heart lurches with that. She might still be alive. Based on Cicero's erratic breathing, he thinks she is too. "I knew Mother would make it. The dragon has been slayed."

He sure has been. I study Bryn's face for any sign of lies, I know he wouldn't keep something from me on purpose, but to save my mental health? I'm sure he would. "Bryn. What about the Daedric Princes?"

The way his face crumples gives me all the answer I need. I slowly sink to my knees. He follows with a good grasp on my hands. "The power was sent out soon after I heard you went into the portal. I was just getting into the Velothi Mountains when I saw it. A great beam of light shot up into the sky from the north, setting some sort of dome over us. I think. All I know is the cultists were whispering about the daedra, saying that was it. One of them was a firm worshiper of Malacath. He said it felt like his prayers weren't getting answered."

So? Sometimes all you need is faith. "You're sure that was it?" I question again.

"Listener, Mother is thorough. She told us the plan and how it would play out. That was the final piece, 'A great beam of light will shoot into the sky, banishing all that is evil.'" The jester recites from above.

I shake my head, "Mjoll put that dagger into her."

"But have you heard from them? Hm? Have you heard the call of the shadow woman? The gargoyle man? Any of the others?" There's a sudden rustling up in that cot before his head peers over the edge. He looks worried. "Why Listener! For once, you are all alone in this vast world!"

Bryn grasps my face, "Don't listen to him. I'm here and I'll keep you safe. I believe what the lad says, the cultists said the same thing. Miraak is bound to Solstheim. He is waiting there for us. When we tell him what we are dealing with I think he will help." He gives me a pointed look with that last sentence. I slowly nod so the jester won't hear.

"AHAHA, what if… he is Sithis himself! What if he's been waiting for us this whole time! You know I hear him, right?" He squeals from above. We don't really say anything else. I curl up with Bryn in my cot while Cicero screams out random phrases, weird shit he's supposedly heard from the invisible man himself. We wait a few more agonizing hours until we finally reach shore.

"Welcome to Raven Rock, just be careful here. Things aren't what they used to be." One of the sea voyaging Nords yells over the stiff breeze as the land comes into view. I'm leaning into Bryn, who's hair is now nice and smooth after I fussed over it. He's a calming presence as we watch this wasteland wash us ashore. Talk about a place you never want to live. I spy a volcanic eruption to the side and ash littering the sky and ground. I have to suppress a shudder when it dusts my armor.

Days, hell, maybe hours ago I had all of Alduin's black ash littering me. I don't want anymore of it. I brush off what I can. Bryn helps when he sees how frantic I am. "Ah, don't worry about that. The ash is harmless." The man chuckles.

The guys must be the worst of seafarers because the ship comes to a sudden halt. I have to clutch the side of the railing to keep from faceplanting into the contaminated water. "Sorry 'bout that! Watch your pockets." One of the others grumble.

"So, where are they?" I ask Bryn.

"Who? The cultists? They didn't come with us."

"What? I thought they would. I thought you said they were escorting you." I stand up straight and keep an eye on the rest of the ship. All I see are Nords with sea legs.

"They forced me and Cicero on it. Then you came on. They said they would tell Miraak of our entrance." Bryn trails off when we see the Dark Elf ahead of us.

"I don't recognize you, so I'll assume this is your first visit to Raven Rock, outlander. State your intention." He's all prissy, has the clothes and nose in the air to match.

"I don't know. I just woke up like this." I joke. But based on the narrowing of his eyes, he doesn't care for it. I clear my throat. "Looking for someone."

"Hmph, well you've picked one of the worst places in Morrowind for that. But suit yourself, there are not many travelers here and those who live here wish to see the day they board a ship to the mainland."

Wow. How about he gives me a brochure and a better sales pitch for this place? "I got it. You need more tourists." I laugh, almost smack myself on the head with that revelation.

Bryn sets his hand on my shaking one. "Sorry, lad, we had a rough go at the sea. We won't be bothering you anymore. Just need to know how to get around this island."

The Dark Elf gives me a pitying glance before turning his nose up at Bryn, "You'll find all your accommodations and information in the town. Just remember, Raven Rock is sovereign territory of House Redoran. This is Morrowind, not Skyrim. While you're here you will be expected to abide by our laws. Any questions?" He seems to be praying we don't ask any.

"This is a Dunmer settlement? Not many Nords?" Bryn broaches the subject. Don't know why he'd ask that.

"Raven Rock started out as an Imperial settlement, but the Empire decided to abandon it just as my people were first setting foot here. They left the town in shambles…but when House Redoran took over, we turned it around and it became ours… and even if it's been a struggle to make this island livable, we're proud to call it home. Now, any more questions?"

"Yeah, are you wary of all visitors like us? Or did I have something in my teeth?" I giggle.

He rolls his eyes before answering. "I have to be. As Second Councilor, the security of Raven Rock is my primary concern."

Bryn fires off next, "Has security been an issue?"

"This isn't exactly the city of Blacklight. We're on the frontier out here, and we've had more than a fair share of troubles. After all we've been through together, I refuse to let Councilor Morvayn down."

"Good on you, a good sport. What's the titles mean?" Bryn keeps asking. I just keep looking around for who might be my next neck to drink from. I don't really want any of the seafarers. They seem too…salty.

"Councilor Morvayn is House Redoran's representative on Solstheim. As second councilor, it's my job to support him and make certain his rule is enforced." The ships creaks as another wave comes through. But the silence sure is awkward.

"Got it, lad. We'll be sure to have a look around and give some of the shop owners a pretty penny." Bryn finishes.

"Remember, I'm watching you." The guy says with a stink eye. He finally wanders off. Bryn grabs my arm and drags me to the entrance of the lower levels. Right. We still have to take Cicero with us whether I like it or not. "What was with the twenty questions?" I mumble as I take the stairs one at a time. I fell down too many times to count on our way here.

"Needed to know how accessible this place is from the mainland. I want to know if we'll get warning if she, or her people, are following."

The Dark Brotherhood. He's smart, smarter than I sometimes give him credit for. "Good thinking." I whisper, "But it sounds rough and tough out here, I don't think we're exactly going to get a gate to close or a giant horn to signal her arrival."

He gives a quick, solemn, glance to the sky, "I agree, lass. I thought we might have better luck but all this just means we'll need to be on our toes. More so than usual."

I giggle again, he just pokes me in all the places I'm ticklish. It's not like I haven't been. Since waking up, I've never been this alert.

"Pray to Sithis. Maybe it will be easier then?" Cicero is holding back tears, I can tell. But damn if this isn't going to hurt.

"I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to get you off the ship before they go back. I'd leave you and all, but it sounds like you're the only one Miraak with recognize." I assess his injuries. They seem to have gotten worse. From the smell of it, they might be getting infected.

"And you! I told them about you and Mother! They'd recognize you! I think…" He looks out through the solitary window we've got going on in here. All I see is an ashy island and people who want to be anywhere but.

"No choice. Just hold on and we'll get to land, then some sort of Inn somewhere in no time." I try to smile. "It'll be quick."

"Listener always wants to punish poor Cicero." He sighs into his pillow. His blood is very potent right now. He's certainly fighting off a fever.

"We could knock you out." I suggest.

"Lass, best get going, the men up here are antsy to get back." Bryn calls from the stairs.

I hold out my hands, "You saved me, now I save you. Come on. You know me. I'm true to my word."

The jester's sour expression says I'm full of shit. I know I am. But I am promising I won't throw him into the sea and call it a day. Might be too much effort anyways.

"If Listener insists." He groans as he rolls into my arms. I grunt with the weight of him. He feels lighter but also heavier if that makes any sense. He cries out in pain.

"Come on. We get out of here, we get food." I lift him so he's in my arms.

"And what would poor Cicero eat? He would just throw it all up!" He moans in my arms.

"Well, we'll find something. Even if it's bugs you have to eat, you will. You need to stay alive." I huff as we get ready to ascend the impossible staircase.

"Is Listener feeling sisterly love?" His eyes fill with a strange wonder.

Not really. I do owe him. But I need him alive for this Milk guy to recognize him and find Mother. Then, I'll fix the worst mistake of my life.

"It wasn't a mistake. It was an accident. You didn't know Tsun had those rules laid out and got to Mjoll before she could finish it." Bryn rubs my back. I'm exhausted and spent, laying over a mug of gods knows what in the… "Retching Netch". What a lovely name.

"But that's it. The Black Star wasn't doing anything at all. It just sat there. It should have lit up or something." I take another drink. It goes down sourly.

"Maybe it was because of the blast. I'm not sure how long you were in there but maybe that was around the time the Daedric Princes were locked out." He gently reminds me.

I resist the urge to lean my head against this sticky counter. I don't know what kind of creatures have been here. "Yeah, maybe. Or it's because we were in Sovngarde. Talk about the worst place for a fight."

"There wasn't another way." He rests his hand on my shoulder.

"Need anything else you lovebirds?" The man sings as he approaches, he's got a mug in his hands and is cleaning it furiously.

"Yeah, what is this?" I hold up the mug. I didn't really think about what I was asking for, just needed something to take the edge off. After all of Cicero's screaming and getting him safe and sound in a room in the back, I really needed a good dose of alcohol. Looks like this is what I got.

"Sadri's Sujamma. The finest sujamma to cross your lips, friend! Care for another?" He gives me a cheeky grin. It looks a little off on his sharp, elfish face but I roll with it.

"Got anything else? Imported." I add.

"Hm…" He purses, "Only thing on tap is the imported Black-Briar Mead. Care for a taste?"

I suppress a sigh. "Yeah, give me one of those."

"Coming right up! And what about you, big fella?" He leans over to get a good look at Bryn.

"Nothing, nothing. Just more food, sweetrolls if you would." Bryn smiles back.

"Coming right up." The guy goes to get our drinks. "Why'd you ask for sweetrolls? Don't you want anything more…substantial?" I ask.

"No, lass, have you seen the way crops are grown here? I don't want anything infested." Bryn laughs.

I stick my tongue out, "You think they'd get us sick on purpose?"

"No, lass, but most here are frosty to outsiders."

Ain't that the truth. Everyone here seemed to have a chip on their shoulder. I wrote it off as them not really liking life under an ash-stained sun but maybe there is more than meets the eye.

"Black-Briar mead and plate of sweetrolls! I'll keep your tab open if you need more." The plate and drink come down in front of us. I decide it's now or never. "Heard of a guy named Miracle?"

"Miraak." Bryn corrects me.

The guy goes frozen for a second. Eyes wide open and everything before composing himself. "Haven't heard that name in awhile. Yeah, sure there are whispers around here but not much. Might want to ask around. Something about a stone out by the shore, last I heard of him."

Hm, a stone?

"Might want to investigate." Bryn mentions.

"Sure, do so, but I don't recommend going out at night. Quite dangerous out there. Here. How about I give you another room on the house and some Sadri's Sujamma to pair with it. You get a good night's rest and come back safe and sound after a morning adventure?" He smiles politely at me.

I'm achy and tired but it would be good to get it done earlier. However, Bryn seems as exhausted as me. "Sounds good. Speaking of, how dangerous is this place?"

The guy's smile never falters, "Dangerous. You've seen a netch? Ash spawn? Ash Guardian? Lurker? Serpentine dragon? Albino spiders? Werebear?"

We must look like we've seen a ghost cuz the guy starts full on laughing. "So, you're joking?" I prod.

"Why of course not! Why do you think the only functional town is this close to shore? It's nearly uninhabitable everywhere else!" He laughs again.

Werebears, huh? I share a glance with Bryn. Looks like we came to the same conclusion. "We'll take your offer, Sujamma and all." I say cheerily.

When we're good and wound up in bed, I speak. "What about Cicero?"

"What about him?" Bryn kisses my bare neck again. I want to giggle but keep from doing that. We were busy, not as busy as usual, but we were tired. Now, I just want to sleep but I need to know, "What do we do with him?"

"You want to kill him after he's served his purpose?" Bryn whispers.

There's barely any light and it only seems to have grown darker. I hold my breath. Then let it out. I've wanted him dead for so long but when thinking about actually killing Cicero now, my heart constricts. "He can live with rules."

"Rules? You think he'll let you kill the Night Mother in peace?"

No. But a girl can try. "Furthermore, you think he'll survive with the wounds he already has?" He asks again.

This silences me. Cicero is in bad shape. He has a full-on fever now and even the barely competent healer we found wasn't helping much. "We'll find a way." I whisper.

He kisses my neck again. Against me he whispers, "I will admit, I wanted to flay him when I found out who he was and what he did to you. But in his weakened state I decided to let him live. He got me on that ship anyways. But you want him alive?"

I roll out from under him so I can face him from the side.

"Yes. I do. He saved me."

Bryn seems to nod. We sit in silence for a few moments. The only sound in the room is the sheets rustling. He pulls me closer, "I sure won't kill him, but I know all those quick remarks he makes. They irritate you. If Delvin were here, I'd have a little bet going on. I'd like to see how long your restraint lasts."

Yeah, me too. I should say something about the bet, instead I give him another full-on kiss before bed. "I'll be fine. You just wait and see."

Right after the sun has risen, I find my patience is wearing as thin as our bartender's hairline.

"Sorry about that, since all the sweetrolls are imported from Skyrim all we have are roasted skeever, a specialty of mine, some crab meat…which might be going bad. Oh! And some ash yam, ash tomatoes, ash peppers…" He goes on and on like this.

I sigh and lay down twenty coin. Way more than enough for some decent food. "How about a cheese wheel? Toast? Something plain and untainted by that shit outside."

He gives me a smile that looks sour and sweet at the same time. Only makes him look constipated, in my opinion. "Let me see what we have." He cleanly sweeps off the coin and goes back to rummage in whatever food storage they have.

I lay my head down on the table. Stickiness or not, I needed a moment to myself. I woke up fine, so did Bryn, but Cicero is in excruciating pain. So much so that a healer had to sedate him. She warned us, however, that it would wear off soon and once it did, we needed to get food in him. Quickly.

"Here we go! How about a loaf of bread and a cheese slice?" Bartender returns with those lovely ingredients.

"Deal." I say and take them from his hands. Before he releases them to me, he looks me dead in the eye. "Be careful out there today. I've heard there's more ash spawn activity. They have a nasty temper and a nasty blade you won't want to meet."

"Got it. We'll be safe." I give a slight smile and am blessedly, let go to tend to my friend.

"You think he'll be alright?" Bryn asks when we shut the door of the Retching Netch for the final time. Outside its…dry. I glance up and see slowly falling ash from the sky. How fitting. "He has to be." Is all I say.

It was hard to get food down him but even harder to leave him. He kept screaming about how Mother would want him to be with us. How Miracle, or Miraak, would be the only one to know who we are and what we're there for. I calmed him down by saying I know my way with words.

That only elicited a chuckle and a quick remark about my brashness. As expected, I wished to cave his head in but thought better. That room was dingy enough as it was. Blood wouldn't help it.

"Which way, lass?" Bryn glances at the little market area before I point in the other direction.

"Last I checked the map it's up this road and to the right. I think we have to get a little wet by crossing the waterway but by then it won't matter."

"Why not, lass?" He laughs and quirks an eyebrow at me.

"Because I've got a feeling we're going to get into some fights." I sigh, "The bartender is really worried."

His face softens. I know he wanted me to play along and come back with some more raunchy jokes…but I don't have the energy for it, frankly. I feel very drained today. Kind of like when I woke up on the ship yesterday. Something is missing.

I rub my forehead to try and stave off the impending headache as we crunch through this desolate wasteland. "What is it? Not enough blood?" Bryn grasps my arm to pull me out of the way of an exposed root. It looks sharp.

"No, not that." I took enough from him this morning, "I think it's the Princes being gone. They were helping far more than we knew."

He nods. "I'm sure it's sad for you."

I almost come up short. "Not really. Honestly. I miss them, I'm worried without them. But I just feel…numb."

"That's just how your process things." He looks down at me with those beautiful eyes. "I love you and I want to get some help when all this is over. All the trauma you've endured… I can't…"

His next words are cut short. I suck in a breath when the freaking man made of sand comes flailing our way. I try to stop it but it's too late. The flame-ridden sword pierces Bryn straight through. "No!" I yell then leap over him to decapitate the sand thing with my Ebony Blade.

It gets halfway through its neck before the thing grasps my Blade and yanks it out. All like it's nothing more than an annoying twig. I crouch and ready my ice spikes. Fine, if he wants to play with magic, then I'll let him. I shoot an ice spike right through the eye, but he keeps on coming.

I nearly trip over Bryn who's panting on the ground when I see the others. Three of these guys. And just like Bartender said, they're strong. I throw another ice spike through the eye. Seems to do the trick although he just falls to the ground and begins to crawl. I get the other two behind him before they can advance further with their strange swords.

Shit. Shit. Shit! What do we do now? I realize just in this moment how helpless I am without Mother's power. I knew that when we fought that dragon back in Winterhold but what I'd give for that powerful electricity…

One of the remaining ash guy's tumbles when his head is blown off. The other falls to the ground after a quick slash to the back. And the one already crawling towards me gets a rude awakening when I smash his face in with the heel of my boot. They all fall down into a pile of ash, even though I know I didn't throw sparks at them.

I crouch, still ready to defend Bryn when I see the guy helping us isn't an enemy. He's a Dark Elf with his hair tied back and wearing some bone-colored armor. "Thanks, I'm glad you could distract them. I wasn't thinking I'd get off of this farm alive." He addresses me. Then he sees what's holding my attention.

He falls to his knees next to me while I try, desperately, to cover Bryn's injury with whatever scraps of cloth I have on me. It's not much, just my cloak.

"Here this should help, can you hear me, mate?" He asks Bryn. He only grimaces. "Quite loud and clear, it's just. Damn this hurts! What are those things?"

The guy smiles but I know it's only to keep Bryn from panicking like I am. "Some of the Redoran Guard have taken to calling them 'ash spawn'. Me? I don't care what they're called…all I know is they're a danger to Raven Rock and they need to be stopped."

"Sure looks like it." Bryn grunts, "Lass, stop doing that. You aren't good with healing spells."

Here I was trying frantically to call on a healing spell for his abdomen. Based on the stench surrounding this place, he's losing way too much blood. "There are healing potions at the Netch." I blurt out and look to the guy.

He nods, "Let's get you back to that bar and with a good healing potion. I can carry you. Come on now." He grunts when he lifts Bryn's weight. I follow along closely, trying to keep my eyes off the blood staining the ground wherever this guy walks.

Instead, I look behind us, watching to see if any other creatures emerge from the ash.

I lean my head against the doorframe. My eyes closed. It was a rough afternoon and night. I've had way, way too much to drink to ease my anxiety. And now I'm paying for it. My head is foggy, I have trouble concentrating. All I see is Cicero and now Bryn, in another bed near him. Both are bleeding out from internal injuries and if another healer gets here in time with stronger potions, they might have a better chance.

We brought Bryn in and some other guys in the bar helped out. One had this weird helmet on, making him look a lot like Meridia's beacon. I actually thought it was once I got enough drinks in. I wanted to call her back…then remembered she's not here anymore. The guy had to gently push my hands away when I went for his head after about five Black-Briar ales. Who would have thought those were so potent?

Anyways, we got Bryn in, healer came in and gave him potions. But his wounds are pretty bad. Those swords the ash spawns use are terrifying. Formed from ash and fire they burn like crazy. But instead of cauterizing the wound like you think they would, they only made Bryn bleed further.

I squeeze my eyes shut to keep them there. Try not to cry. I've been holding it in for hours. The guy who helped us, Captain Valmont or something, said he would do whatever he could to make sure Bryn gets better. So far, that's been two healing potions and whatever healing spells they could muster up.

Even then, he still sits in bad shape. I know he was watching me from his own bed for some time while I'd pace the hallway back and forth. Eventually, he gave up. Based on his snoring, he's in a deeper sleep than I would have hoped for. Cicero keeps fidgeting in his. When he starts to sleep talk, I bail out of there.

I go pace in the main bar area. Patrons look on curiously before falling into uncomfortable stares. They know something is worrying me. But not what. Or how to help it. All I can think of is, will he be okay?

How can we go on like this?

I pause by one of the great pillars holding this place up and think. There's no way in hell we'll be able to traverse Solstheim with them in this condition. I'd have to go alone.

"Something on your mind?" The captain guy from earlier asks. He's sitting at a nearby table and taking down another glass of mead. I land in the seat opposite of him.

"You said Bryn would live?"

"Yes, he won't succumb to that kind of wound. But he's not going to be upright and running around anytime soon." He takes another sip and motions to his glass, "Want me to buy you one?"

I wave him off, "No thanks, I've had too many already. We were going to find this Milk…I mean Miraak guy. But if I can't take them with me then, I'll have to go alone. I've done it before. I'm quite competent on my own…it's just…"

I've never truly been alone. I always had Mother or one of the Princes in my ear. Guiding me. Not even Barbas, the happy little dog, is here to chase his tail around. The guy must see the agony in my eyes. He leans over the poorly lit table, over all the various pastries and delicious foods that just came in today. He reaches for my hand. I look up to his strangely colored gaze.

"Let me be the first to tell you that you were a great fighter out there. So was he, he just got as surprise attack. You, however, have quick reflexes and a steady hand. I wonder however you managed that?" He quirks an eyebrow. I know he wants to comfort me, make seem more capable than I am by myself. But he just gave me an idea.

I lean across the way and plant a big, fat kiss on his cheek, take a sip of his gross mead, a lamb leg from the table and wave before running off. I don't dare look at the other customers gawking at me before I race into Bryn and Cicero's room.

"Guys, guys, guys!" I yell. They don't budge. I take the lamb leg, all spiced up like there's no tomorrow, and wave it under their noses. Bryn scrunches his nose when he wakes up. Cicero only gasps, "Listener! What foulness! What now?"

I'm still panting, so it's hard to get the words out. "I know how to get you back on your feet. What about a little dirt nap?"

They both look at me like I grew another head. "Come again, lass? I can barely understand you." Bryn quirks a brow. Even with his paling skin he still looks handsome with that expression.

"This." I point to my bared fangs. "Do you want this? To become vampires?"

Their faces are written in shock. Bryn is the first to speak, "Do you even know how…"

I smash the lamb leg in my hand. "No. No, I don't. But I'll damn well figure it out if you want me to. All I know is, without someone guiding me along on our journeys I'm no better than a chicken with her head cut off. And furthermore, you guys are no better than a slab of meat awaiting a roasted fire back here. Now, once again, do you want to join me in the realm of the undead legion, or not?"

Wide eyed and hearts pounding both of them nod in unison. "Cool, fine, I'll go ask the Bartender where best to do this." I mumble then leave the lamb leg on their nightstand. I nearly trip on my way out the door. Way too much dirt in this place.

On the way to the bar I wonder, am I really up for this? Can I really do what's necessary to change them? The night of my own change comes back like a fever dream. Me, under the dirt and star covered sky, in the cold, awaiting Sovngarde and instead finding Sithis. Cicero burying me. But I shake those thoughts away. No matter what, even if it's just for Bryn, I'll make certain their change is easier than mine.

Afterall, they'll have friends by their side. That's more than I could have wished for.

Cicero's Journal Entry

4th of Hearthfire, 4E 202

Listener has gone positively mad! How like her to break at this time, this desperate time to get to Mother! Cicero knew she would lose her mind eventually but like this? However will this be a success? Cicero knows vampires are conniving creatures. Only lust for blood. Don't like to come out in the searing sunlight. Maybe it will be fitting. Afterall, one should never knock something unless they've tried it.