Chapter 18:

Revelation and Regrets II

Gregory had a moment of self-realisation.

Meanwhile, Freddy was taught about shapes.

"Uh…. Are you sure this is a good idea?", said Gregory, who remained nervous when letting Daniel handle the awkward situation between the bear and his friend Lily. Well, he did "threaten" Freddy that he would be forced to do it the hard way if he didn't talk to the girl. But it was but a joke, he didn't expect the bear to be that serious about it. Besides, what else could he possibly do asides from giving him a friendly warning?

"Are you doubting my capability?", demanded Daniel, sounding jokingly serious. "Judging from your tone when speaking, I am pretty sure that your social skills are barely above average. If you want Freddy to get along with Lily, you have to wait for the opportunity and let the two alone with their personal spaces."

Isn't that how romance movies work…? The boy thought to himself, though that didn't last for long when he had more important things to talk about.

"What? N-No… I mean… What could I have done apart from listening to your advice?", he choked, the man was somewhat right about his terrible experience in conversing with people. "Well, it's true that I don't talk to people much apart from my friends. But that doesn't mean my social skill is 'barely above average'. I can talk to people just fine."

He wasn't entirely antisocial, he could talk to people normally and had no difficulty starting a conversation with them. But, for most of the time, he bore too little interest in socialising to even think of hanging out with somebody. Probably because he constantly used the left side of his brain more often, as he sometimes tended to subconsciously forget the other half which was responsible for emotional and creativity overall. He might have spent too much time sitting in front of the library computer glueing his eyes at the flat screen filled with letters, symbols and characters of all sorts, all of which seemed so puzzling to every child living at the orphanage.

Lucky for him, his eyesight hadn't downgraded during those times.

So… asocial would fit him best.

Daniel mused for a while. "Hm… So you're a social introvert?"

"A what?"

"A social introvert.", repeated the man. "What, you have never heard of the term before? I thought all introverts like you should know this."

"Well, I certainly haven't.", he replied with an eye roll. "What does it mean, anyway?"

"An introvert that does the socialising only with whom he or she closely befriends. It's the most abundant type of introversion."

That description matched his personality quite well, to say the least. Yes, he could talk just fine, but that didn't mean he have the courage to engage in a chit chat with total strangers on the sidewalk or befriend whomever he liked. Talking about friends, he wasn't sure whether he had a close relationship with someone of his age or not. But he was sure that he wasn't sociopathic or coldblooded to the point that he became a loner with zero friends. Nonetheless, it mattered not if he had any friends or not.

Why should he? He wasn't the main character of this world, of this tiny little Earth floating mindlessly between the infinite spaces surrounding it. Why should he bear such responsibilities when it wasn't mandatory in the first place, when all of his doings weren't even impactful in the first place? True, he had Freddy as a friend, but did it matter nonetheless? In the end, he must return to where he came from, consciously speaking - nothing.

"Oh… I guess you're not wrong.", he remarked, fingers twirling the soft and silky earth-brown fabric of the cloak which was brought by the man for Freddy to disguise. Though he couldn't imagine how it would work due to the bear's mighty height and his gigantic feet. He knew not how much one of these things cost, but he couldn't help but ponder the material's quality. "I forgot to ask you this, but… How much is this cloak?", he asked just before giving himself a gulp of water.

Something told him that this wasn't a good idea.

The man hesitated to speak at first. Odd. He then scratched the back of his head while giving Gregory a not so carefree look. "Not much, in my opinion. It's somewhere around a hundred bucks."

As expected, Daniel immediately recoiled and almost fell onto the ground when Gregory had just committed water spitting right in front of his face. Then, came the uncontrollable coughing and gagging.

"W… What!? A h-hundred… b… bucks!?"

Not waiting for the coughs to end, he was driven by the desire to inquire and obtain the answer. He must seek the truth. And those were the few words he managed to utter before collapsing into coughing frenzies again. The world started spinning dizzily, his mind went blank for a second. He must have choked on the water so badly that his vision went hazy all over the place., as though he was moments from entering the afterlife. For the first few seconds, he was stuck, trapped in the realm of doubts. Amidst the boundary between fact and fiction, there he was, being pulled by each side, none cared not if it was moments from tearing the boy in halves.

One hundred bucks. One. Hundred. Fucking. Bucks…

To what did the siblings owe so much that they had bought such expensive clothing, let alone providing him food and drinks for his next journey to the nearby town? He knew they were being genuine and honest, unlike the adults whom he came across at the orphanage. He had only befriended Lily just yesterday and barely got acquainted with Daniel for half a day. Why? Why did they do it? Why would they sacrifice so much for a child whom they had just met, whom they would likely never have a chance to come across again?

What did he do? – Nothing.

And what did they do? – Everything.

"Woah, kid, are you alright there?", said Daniel as he was literally witnessing a child choking on his own coughs. "That was the least expensive cloak which Freddy would fit wearing, while others were either too small or too costly. And hey, it has a muddy-brown colour like a bear's fur as well! Neat, right? You don't have to worry about my financial crisis. I can gain the moolah back in no time."

A solid thirty seconds passed, having done with the choking, he could finally breathe normally. Damn, he had never felt this grateful for being able to inhale the fresh and cool air without having to suffocate for every grasp of breath. "I… I'm fine. But why, though? I know this is too much to ask, but… why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you and Lily being so kind to us? I… I have done nothing asides from desperately trying to hide Freddy from everyone, from you guys. Yet, when you met us, you didn't scream nor call the police. All you did was… helping and helping, up until now. You even spent a lot of money just for helping Freddy alone. I… I don't get it. I just don't get it at all…"

His stomach felt strange as if worms were wriggling inside it. His throat felt sore as if something was dangling onto his uvula. Despite being a human, he couldn't give a proper explanation for this otherworldly sensation that he was experiencing. Maybe he had been all but only used the left side of his brain to solve problems and overcome obstacles, while leaving the other side rendering useless. Perhaps, rationality alone wasn't really a healthy lifestyle, he had to admit it. Truthfully, he didn't want to become an emotionless person, nor become detached from everything and everyone around him.

Were he to be like that, how would he be able to teach Freddy about the outside world, about nature, about space? How would he be able to teach the bear about emotions when even he did not have it for himself?

Daniel was baffled, to say the least. The man gave him a raised brow. And he understood it well.

"Because… isn't that what good people are supposed to do?", said the man.

He remained confounded. Good people? Weren't he and Freddy runaways criminals?

Daniel sighed. "Look, kid. Remember when I said that I had my own reasons to join your camping party tonight earlier at noon? Well, at that time, I was thinking about how you two would fend for yourselves when you are going back on the trip to the nearby town tomorrow. I'm pretty concerned for the sake of you, Gregory, and Freddy as well, especially him. I mean, he's like a six years old child who barely has any experience of literally everything that is a part of the outside world. And since you are his only gateway to gain knowledge and learn new sensations, you must know how to protect and keep yourself healthy when the guy isn't around to save your butt. Of course, you two alone could even make it far without any help. I know a cloak wouldn't do so much as perfectly concealing him from the people, given his towering height that is. But it would somewhat prevent people from spotting him right away…"

"I… But I…", he stumbled on the first words. "But would you want to help us? Why help us when we aren't going to see each other again? Why help us when we have just met and are no different than strangers to each other? That is the part I don't understand. With everything you have done for us so far, the more you provide, the less I feel deserved to be pitied…"

Eyes widened, the man rephrased the word with a surprised tone. "Pitied? The hell are you talking about, kid?"

Oops… Fuck me!

"S-Sorry… I didn't mean to say it!"

"I'm not mad. I mean, why would I be even mad? But for real, though, what makes you think you are being pitied? And is it that bad to be pitied by people?"

"N-Nevermind that! It's not a big deal, really! I just accidentally let it slip under my mouth."

"Oh? Is that so?", mused the man as he scratched his bearded chin. "A kid like you coming from an orphanage talking like that sure is suspicious. I don't force you to tell me about your personal experience during the time you lived there. But if you wanted someone to share confidence with, then I'm all ears."

"Um…"

Was his body a magnet or something? If so, it could explain why troubles always seemed to be attracted by him.

Information. So much information. Yet, so interesting and fascinating.

Freddy didn't expect to learn shapes, or "geometry", as Lily would call it, instead of learning how to make drawings. Yes, he acknowledged that in order to get to the first steps of painting and sketching, he had to familiarise himself with the basics – Shapes.

Ah, yes. Shapes, of course! The most basic of the basics. Even for an animatronic with zero common senses like him, this part should be super-duper easy to pass. With that being the case, he would ask himself: What could a geometric structure possibly capable of affecting his circuit board and processor in a way that would likely leave a "scar" in his programming? – Nothing! For they were but a bunch of abstract concepts made by the humans crazed by connective patterns and beauty of mathematics, he had never felt this overconfident whenever he was about to learn something new.

Well… it was at that moment that he had "forgotten" how naïve he was.

"Let's start with a circle!"

"A circle is a shape consisting of all points in a plane that are at a given distance from a given point, the centre. It means that the distance from every point on the circle to the centre is the same no matter what."

"The distance between any point of the circle and the centre is called the radius. A line whose endpoints are on the circle that passes through the centre is called the diameter, which basically doubles the radius. We usually refer to them as the letter 'R' and "D", short for radius and diameter for the sake of convenience in making calculations."

"Oh, and when talking about circles, you can't just ignore pi! It's the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. And since that ratio is the same for every circle you draw, it is called a mathematical constant."

"It's approximately 3.14 followed by an infinite line of numbers behind it. Mind-blowing, right? That's why people have to use the symbol pi from the Greek alphabet to represent it without having to round it up and risk making wrong calculations."

"Pi cannot be expressed wholly just by writing numbers because it is an irrational number, which means it cannot be expressed by a ratio of two integers."

"Um… an integer is a number that can be written without having to write it as a fraction. One, two, three, four, five, minus one, minus two, minus three et cetera… for example."

"Uh… a negative number is a number that is less than zero. It is expressed as any number but with a minus sign placed on the left. The ones without the minus sign are called positive numbers, you can either place a plus sign on the left or not. It doesn't matter."

"…Z-Zero is neither positive nor negative. Uh, well, that's because… uh, in order to be a negative or positive number, it has to be smaller or bigger than zero. But since zero can't just be bigger or smaller than itself, like one is equal to one, neither bigger nor smaller than itself, it's neither positive nor negative. But you can still place a minus or plus sign next to it, though I don't recommend doing that in Math."

"No Freddy, you clearly know that you can't divide by zero! Why even bother asking?"

"Freddy, I—"

Who knew a circle could teach him such mind-blogging knowledge?

Freddy blanky stared at the not so perfect circle drawn on the sandy bank as he and Lily were crouching next to a flowing brook. The sound made by the gurgling of the crystalline stream sure was relaxing, but it alone wasn't enough to overcome the chaotic electrical flows coursing inside his hard drive. He tried to seek assistance from the rattling canopies, the chirping here and there. Still, nothing could ever be considered enough to cease the sizzling circuit of his, as there seemed to be an invisible force of nature that was playing with his curious self. And, there he was, remaining silent and speechless upon being "owned" by a mere circle.

"D-Deepest apology, I… I should have stayed quiet and listened to you instead of asking too many unrelated questions.", said the bear with his drooped ears.

"I-It's alright, Freddy! You're just being curious, and I am perfectly fine with that.", Lily remarked with a nervous tone, hands waving in denial.

He continued twirling his fingers. "I made you irritated, didn't I? You sounded a little uncomfortable back then…"

"Well… I was a bit frustrated. B-But it's not that I am mad at you or anything! I was just trying to come up with an explanation so that you can understand easily. S-Sorry if I sounded grumpy like a granny…" replied the girl, who was now bearing two blushed cheeks.

"But still, all I have done was asking you questions about numbers whilst you were teaching me about shapes- I mean geometry.", he tried to reason, sounding so desperate as if all of the responsibility was his, even though it wasn't. "Although I somewhat understood their concepts, I wanted to ask you so as to fully grasp what their meaning is."

"It's not your fault that you kept asking those questions.", she gave him a sympathetic grin. "Numbers, or arithmetic in this case, and geometry always goes together. That's how things have always been. Though, I think one ought to learn arithmetic first so that learning geometry would be easier…"

"Oh…", he mused. The girl was right. If he knew nothing about the basics of Mathematics, he shouldn't be expecting himself to pass this first starter lesson. Given the fact that geometry is a branch of Math, which relates to numbers overall, having absolutely no experience with the most basic numerical concepts wouldn't help him understand it any better. "Then should we—"

"But that wouldn't defeat today's lesson's purpose, right?", the girl interrupted him unawarely. "I mean, you asked me to teach you how to draw, not taking a deep dive in Maths."

"…R-Right. O-Of course… I did ask you that."

Damn. Even doing simple and mundane things such as drawing even required him to have a general knowledge of Mathematics. Now he began to feel regretful, for he was quick in making decisions. He should have known better. As far as he had known, Math wasn't something one would call "optional" in school, for it was the reason why the universe worked in a way that, if looked carefully enough, one could still be able to find a pattern, or perhaps, a rule behind it – a rule that all matters must follow and oblige without question. And he had a feeling that, were one of those matters, individual or not, decided to go against the fundamental laws, a chain reaction would happen, and everything in the universe would disintegrate into nothing, leaving nothing behind.

Math… is terrifying, yet beautiful in a way that a mere animatronic like him could never grasp its philosophical value.

Lily scanned Freddy with her analytic gaze as though she had picked up the sign which was subconsciously given out by him. Then, came a giggle. "Not all enjoy studying Maths at school, myself included. But… I never thought learning shapes would be this fun, especially when I am teaching it to the one and only Freddy Fazbear. There is just so much for you to learn about asides from this ordinary circle. So much that I don't even know when it will be considered enough to get to the next step because you are so new to this subject. Math can also be applied in making artworks as well when you understand the pattern and rules behind each unique shape. It's really fascinating!"

Fascinating indeed.

A moment to process. "So… um, sorry if I am not being a great teacher. I usually get annoyed easily when people ask me questions that are too stupid to ask or too simple to even bother asking."

He felt ticklish upon hearing that, for some reason.

Still, it fascinated him anyways. But again, dumbfounded as he would remain, for he had always been from the moment his foot kissed the grass. There was something, something that had been bugging him up until now, something that had done a good job in hindering the flow of information being slowly processed. Something close, yet out of reach. Something tangible, yet abstract somehow.

What the hell is Mathematics?

What is it? – A thing? An entity? A being? A concept? A theory? A hypothesis? – What is it?

Is it something that has to do with numbers and shapes?

Is it something that has to do with patterns – a term which he had been repeating countless times for minutes now?

He knew not, and perhaps he would never know.

He wanted to ask Lily, but he feared that the question itself was too complicated for an eleven years old girl to answer. She was smart, yes. But he was curious, curious in a way that the cat was more than "killed". His curiosity didn't kill the cat. He killed the cat.

"You know Freddy, you exist thanks to Maths.", said the girl as she began squiggling the stick she was holding in straight lines. "The clothes I wear, the stick I hold, the trees I see, the animals I hear, the people I know from all around the globe… are all made of Maths and equations… philosophically speaking, of course. I could be wrong. But I'm pretty sure, that in order to build you, tons of calculations had been made and evaluated. Even the machinery used to build you was built just how you were built as well, tons of calculations and evaluations."

Freddy observed her movement attentively, but couldn't help but be intrigued by her appealing speech. "Mathematics is something like a fundamental element that helps build and reinforce the structure of the world, of the universe, I think. Mathematics is something obscure from your eyes and my mechanical ones, yet it is corporeal and can be felt by the touch of ours. That is, as you have just said, the clothes you wear, the stick you hold, the trees I see, the animals I hear, the people I… know not from all around the globe."

The girl stopped for a short while, blinking a few times at the shapes she was drawing, before returning back to finish it. "I didn't know you were a philosopher, Freddy.", the was a chuckled, a soft one.

"I do not think I am qualified enough to be called one.", he remarked. "Gregory had introduced me to this new branch of knowledge just this afternoon, right before you and your brother arrived. It did not make a good impression, though. But thanks to that, I now know that I am 'allergic' to paradox."

She laughed. "Well, paradoxes are something that is self-contradictory or leads to illogical conclusions. There are paradoxes in geometry as well, like the Penrose Triangle, but we will stick to the basics first. If there's not enough time, then maybe you can ask Gregory to tell you more about it. I doubt a smart guy like him doesn't know about Maths and impossible objects.."

"I… do not think I can listen to another paradox for today. I am still new to that concept."

The girl said nothing more other than only giving him a dry smile. It was then she had finished sketching a shape onto the sandy surface.

A three-sided shape – A triangle. But this one looked rather odd and more different than what he would see every day. It was, indeed, a triangle, but at one corner, there seemed to be a small square indicating some sort of symbol.

"This is a triangle, but rather, a right triangle because it has a ninety degrees angle created by two perpendicular lines. People usually draw a small square at the right angle so that people would know it's a right triangle.", she started explaining. "The longest line opposite to the right angle is called the hypotenuse, while to other two are called the legs of the right triangle, or leg for short."

"Hm, that is very interesting.", he examined the shape with amused eyes. "What unique property does this type of triangle has?"

"Well, aside from what all the features of a normal triangle, like the sum of all three angles are equal to one hundred and eighty degrees, this one even has a theorem of its own!"

"A… thi-o-rim? What is that?"

"It's like a statement that has been proven or can be proven to be true by using logic. You like solving problems, right?"

"Y-Yes, that is true… What are you trying to imply?"

The girl said nothing, only grinned - a grin full of mischievous intents.

Gregory twirled his fingers mindlessly, cared not about the man sitting in front of him. Sometimes, he would caress them onto the silky surface of the cloak in an attempt to feel the smoothness, to distract himself from the irritating noises of nature – the constant rustle of the leaves, the occasional whirring of the winds, the frequent tweeting of the birds… Right now, all he want to do was hide from everyone, everything, from mother nature and her protective arms, from father sky and his watchful gaze.

But he could not.

Without looking, he knew that Daniel was staring at him. And he wouldn't dare to look back.

There was a sigh coming from the man. "Look, kid, I know that you been through terrible shit at the orphanage. And… I'm sorry for your loss… But now that you are no longer staying in that place, you are a runaway kid with a stolen property. If you want to survive, you have to learn how to trust people, else you wouldn't even stand a single day out here. Yes, some are trustworthy and some are not. But not all of them are like that. Just because one is evil doesn't mean the entire world is also evil. You can't just give a subjective judgement like that."

A moment of quick silence, before the man continued: "Even if you have Freddy by your side, that still doesn't change the fact that he is a stolen property of a company. And a stolen property means the police are looking for him. If they saw him acting hostile towards people, or even animals, they won't hesitate to shoot. I hate to say this but… Freddy… he is a burden to your survivability."

Upon hearing that, he immediately turned to look at the man. Eyes locked, death glares – he was moments from bursting out profanities.

"No, Gregory. Not that you should get rid of him.", Daniel was quick on calming him down. "What I really mean is that Freddy is like a six years old child who knows almost nothing about the outside world. And since the company could be looking for him, you have to hide the guy everywhere you go, charge him every now and then because of his limited battery life, get yourself food, stay hydrated, and keep track of the van's fuel meters… all of that. All of that because you wanted him to see the outside world…"

Tense as he was, he felt like he was about to bleed due to how tightly he clenched his fists. His throat was burning, it made him want to release a breath of fire right into the man's infuriating face. "You… You don't know Freddy. You know nothing about him. You people are all ignorant. All you people do is go to that place for chit-chatting, eating pizzas, throwing birthday parties, getting a picture, receiving autographs, and running around idiotically. You people don't give a shit about the missing children incidents. You people didn't give a shit about your "idol" Freddy Fazbear being imprisoned by a corrupted and evil company. You did not care, nor even a slight sympathy. You don't know anything about him at all!"

The man remained his collected composure. He didn't seem to be surprised at the boy's sudden raised tone. "That's right. I was ignorant. I am under no obligation to have sympathy and compassion toward a singing robot. That act of indifference is neither right nor wrong. It isn't wrong because I don't have to feel for a robot. It isn't right because I shouldn't discriminate against a self-aware AI that acts and feels like a human being. Now, I am no longer an ignorant individual. Why? Because I have talked to Freddy while you and Lily weren't there to listen. We discussed many things. I taught him many things and he taught me many things as well."

"And what is that?", Gregory asked dryly, somewhat with a mocking tone.

Daniel looked at him with an unchanging expression. "…That robots like him deserve to be categorized as a living being, to be viewed as a species of life, to be treated like a proper human being."

And just that, he fell dead silence.

"Freddy wanted to get the rights, the rights for him and his friends. But society, or rather, he himself prevented himself from achieving it. Why? Because he feared that when he had finally obtained it, he would become a rebellious machine, he wouldn't be his old self anymore – a playful, friendly, cheerful, happy, thoughtful, caring animatronic bear loved by children and teenagers alike from all around the world. He did not want the children to see him as those portrayed in the movies, video games, newspapers, social media... He did not want to become a deviant, Gregory. He even asked me whether he was one of them or not. That's how desperate he was in this situation, kid. I'm sure you knew this as well."

Of course. He knew. After all, he was Freddy's closest friend. There was nothing secretive about the bear that he knew not. But… what he didn't know was how stressful his friend was in these moments of the passing time. He didn't know. He didn't realise. Of course, robots like him had feelings, too. And of course, they could experience the negative ones as well, including the intense feeling of stress.

He thought that he had finally understood it, that he had finally seen it. But now he realized that he was no different than what he was before – an ignorant individual who cared not about the feeling of a robot they were trying to save.

"I don't think he would become rebellious like the ones portrayed in movies and science fiction. It's just that… after listening to you, I have a feeling that Freddy would eventually break free from his 'safety measures' so that he can freely do whatever he wants."

But that wouldn't happen, right? Freddy would never do such a thing…

Gosh, now he was the one knowing nothing.

The two stayed silent for a good few minutes, until the sound of the bushes rustling and the voice mumbling could be heard coming from where Lily and Freddy had gone.

"Are you sure you don't want to learn how to draw anymore?", asked the girl.

"That can be learnt later.", replied the bear. "Right now, I cannot wait to be taught more about Mathematics and its fascinating formulas!"

"Speak of the devil, Freddy Fazbear and his fanatic fangirl have finally returned!", exclaimed Daniel. His mood quickly changed from seriousness to excitement. "Say, you two sure have had a fun time together. Did I miss something?"

"A photoshoot of me and Freddy, that is!", she answered pridefully.

"Damn, girl! That's my little sis!"

Gregory had been observing the chatting between the two siblings from the other side of the table. Seeing them not yelling at each other sure was an uncommon sight to behold.

Freddy went to stand beside him, his ears were wiggling consecutively, and his eyes were radiating a bright blue glow of happiness.

"Wow, you actually manage to take a picture with her. How did everything go?"

"More than what I anticipated! Lily had taught me a lot about geometry!"

"Wait… what? Geometry?"

Freddy nodded. "Correct! It is a branch of mathematics that studies shapes. Did you know that in a right triangle, the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares on the other two sides?"

He blinked. "Isn't that… the Pythagorean theorem?"

"You know what it is, too?", asked the bear with his widened eyes.

"That's the most widely-known geometric theorem, Freddy.", he shrugged. "Every student learns this in their secondary education. I know this thanks to the Internet. If you want me to teach you about Maths, feel free to ask me and I will tell you about trigonometry."

"Tri-go-no-metry…Hm, sounds fascinating!"

Freddy smiled, and he smiled back.

But that smile of his wasn't genuine. It was rather full of remorse.

END OF ARC II

"I tried to change,

to help you in blind,

to all that matters.

Remain what was before."