THE QUIET FIELD

The Listener

I should have died tonight. I shouldn't be alive after the Night Mother plunged that blade through my chest, but the Void always has some trick up it's sleeve. I fell down into the darkness, where no light could penetrate.

The searing pain in my chest slowly receded until it was nothing. I was then spit back out. I groan when I fall back into the field. For such soft grass, it doesn't really help break my fall. "What was that?" I ask Sithis.

He slithers next to me, curling around my body with his strange body and arms. She wants you dead.

"No shit." I laugh.

We need to calm her so we can talk.

"Can't you do that by yourself? She's your wife you know and mortal. Corporeal. Whatever you call it. She's not a god." I remind him.

The creature makes a noise, like a snort but grosser. There are even limitations a husband can have.

Someone giggles. "Oh, Mother maybe Listener was good afterall! She has Sithis's blessing."

"That means nothing, Cicero. She is keeping us from Mundus. I know this game. Stay close, we will find her soon." I hear their hearts beat near me, then they pass by. As if I were nothing but a shadow covered by the field.

I can't help my breathing. It's ragged and heavy. I could have died tonight. That pain in my chest is so fresh I'm surprised I can still almost feel it.

Quiet. He reminds me.

Nothing but the sounds of singing insects fills the fields. That and their stomping about. When the last of the grass rustles, Sithis rises.

You need to run.

I give him a startled glance, "Where? Why? Can't you just go pick her up and bring her here for the little talk?"

No. She needs to find me willingly. She is distracted right now. You need to give her time. Run into the fields and don't stop until I tell you to.

I keep staring at him. The man, the god, the legend, the ruler of the Void has completely lost his mind.

"Mother! I see something. Over there, near the tall grass."

He sees me. Sithis pushes me and I have no choice. I hear their fast footsteps behind me so I break out into a run. I am so fast my lungs begin to burn, even as a vampire. I push harder. The fields should trip me up with how tall the grass is getting but I have good coordination. I really don't want to be caught.

I hear their frantic advancement. "Listener! It's not so bad! After death you can roam these fields all you want to!" I hear him yell. But it's not loud. They are far closer than they were before.

I keep pushing. Racing over the field and nearing the forest at the border. I can damn well almost feel their breath on me.

"Listener." He says. I can feel him behind me, feel the sharp tip of his knife sinking into my ribs.

Then I fall.

I knew this would happen and I hope it keeps them far, far away. I fall back into my cobblestone room. I see my former self with an unfocused gaze staring at nothing. That half-eaten apple still in my hands. I run through. The bar doors open for me when I push them, and I race down the hallway. I hear them right behind me. Dammit. I didn't lose them.

The next memory is the most horrible. Cicero, before he became a mad jester, was carving up the current jester on the ground. The screams were so loud, the laughs so blood curdling. I race past but not before I hear the Cicero chasing me. "Oh, look Mother! It's me! Me before I found you! How he laughed so!"

I break into the next room, finding that table with the older Dark Brotherhood. Rasha, Alisanne, and a less mad Cicero crowding around. The girl watches me as I run through, her brown eyes warm and inviting. I know who she hears.

They keep nipping at my heels. I almost trip up when I race into Alisanne's manor that is under siege. She was just watching the carnage down below. I pause for a moment. If I were to move forward, I would just enter another memory. I could try something else.

I leap from the window she was staring out of. The fall down is harsh. Two stories at least. But I land like it's nothing and brave the war-torn city of Bravil. Fires rage around me and I smack into a few frantic people trying to flee. I feel my own panic rising. How can I escape my pursuers if I keep getting stuck like this?

But that too, melts away. I thought I could go far here but apparently the memories had a radius limit. I fall through again and land in that horrible field. The one with the tall wheat and the dead kids. I race past a grieving Night Mother. Her Dark Elf form lays next to a burning fire. I don't pause to think about what might be going on.

"Listener! Are you really wanting this for eternity? This sort of time loop?" Cicero mocks behind me.

I leap through the wheat, expecting to fall back into another memory. Maybe when the Night Mother was back in the Thieves Guild. Instead, I hit the forest ground. There is nothing but darkness here, save for a few brief lights illuminating the forest floor. Ferns and other plants greet me. So do they.

I feel a hand grasp my arm. Pull me in to one of the most shadowed areas. I try to jerk away but another hand grabs my shoulder, sinking its blunt teeth in. I scream.

I hear the others behind me. Cicero squeals, no doubt getting some torment from one of the Children. I hear Mother gasp.

"Filthy things! How dare you!"

I flinch when the light hits. She uses her sparks power, I had no idea it could work here, and based on her reaction she didn't either. The power is enough to illuminate what's in front of me. Hollow eyes in a sunken face that was shriveling up on itself. The burial wrappings barely hold the head of decaying flesh together. The purple and white light dance along it's face just so I can see that menacing look.

I hear more screaming. I can't tell if it is from me, or them, but soon it all falls away. I'm sucked into the Void. I'm sure as hell getting sick of this, even though it's saving me. I feel relief, then I'm spit back out. Back onto that forest floor with Cicero and the Night Mother at my back. I hear the screams of the Children. They can't take the light, but they stay back from the glowing orb centered above us. It only illuminates our upper bodies. But I guess it's keeping the Children away.

"Blood Flower."

I hear her choke on something. Maybe a sob. I turn my gaze to see Sithis, as the man in the first memory, tall and well-muscled with a long beard, stride in. He holds his arms out as if expecting her to race into his embrace. Instead, she stays standing feet away.

"What trickery is this?" She asks him. "What is your intention here, Sithis?"

He tilts his head, "I thought you would have more romantic inclinations. I am here to save you."

She freezes. I see Cicero stop glaring at me with such hatred to marvel at the drama going on before him. He moves closer to Mother.

Sithis looks at him, but it's like looking at an annoying insect buzzing around your head. He soon turns his full attention to the Night Mother, "I know what you are doing. I know you are working in my best interest. But it will be your undoing."

Her fists clench. "Undoing? I am ensuring you have souls to last an eternity! Do you really want them to stray to those hellish Daedra or even to the Aedra? Is that what you want?"

He just watches her with softening eyes. "If I wanted that, I would have it be done. The Void is weak by your senses. There isn't much talk of it. But if I wished, I could swallow Oblivion whole."

I have this nagging feeling during the monologue. I look up and through the barely decipherable tree limbs, I can barely see Hermaeus Mora's eye watching over us. It's dim, like there's a soft layer of clouds over him.

Mother is quiet for once. "What of them, then? Why did you ask me to bring as many souls to you as I could?"

"Because I love you. I wanted to give you some sort of purpose in this life. I do need souls, and souls are still bound by their own will. I want to give them the choice to believe in a place like this."

She glances around in horror, "You want them to want this? Do you know how delusional mortals are? They expect their afterlife to be just as their own waking lives, no different, save for immortality."

Sithis crosses his arms. I see laugher shaking his large chest, but he doesn't let on to it. "They would choose Coldharbour before this land? The Deadlands? Some would still wish for nothingness."

Mother studies him now in a different light. She glances down his person. Cicero leans into her closer. I feel the Children poking around in the forests. Watching us with bated breath. Waiting for that light above us to die out.

The silence is so long, I start to feel I should do something. Maybe run. Get the hell out of here and make good on my escape.

But my plan is shattered when Mother figures it out. "Very good. You almost had me fooled, Hermaeus Mora. I almost believed this man was Sithis until he started prattling on about morality and his love for me."

She suddenly looks up into the sky. The eye of the Daedric Prince blazes to life, sending the Children down below into a screaming fit. The wailing it so harsh I have to cover my ears. The Sithis clone falls to ash. The light above us is gone. All we see is Hermaeus Mora in his green glory. "Quite intelligent. I almost got away with it."

Mother is shaking. I begin to back up. I might just have to brave the creepy forest littered with the Children. Anything to get away. "Kill her." Mother glances behind me.

"I will." Cicero, without another thought, turns and leaps towards me.

I scream with the scuffle. I started running and I damn well would have gotten away if he wasn't so fast now. I guess I'm to blame for my own death. I'm writhing on the ground, trying to kick him off. He just grasps my armor to climb up my form. "Listener. Listen. I will be quick if only you stop moving. It makes these things harder!" He grunts after that. I feel a hand wrapping itself in my hair and begin to pull me across the forest floor.

I yell with the pain. It feels like my hair is being pulled out. It's not really as good of a handle as one would think. If I were to be dragged I kind of wish they went for my arm. I open my eyes as my head is jerked this way and that. In the brief lighting from the Daedric Prince, I can see one of the Children dragging me along. Cicero is clinging to my waist, but I feel him being pulled by another force.

My heart is beating out of my chest. I have no idea what they want with us. Not sure if a vamp can be killed by being consumed, but I don't want to take that chance. "Cicero. I forgive you. Help me and we can get out of this." I say with desperation. That fear of getting bitten into again, it's strong.

He screams as he's pulled away from me. He holds on. I hold my arms out to grasp his own. "Cicero, tell me."

"Why should Cicero believe a betrayer!" He asks through the pain. He screams again. Then, I feel teeth digging into my calf. Fuck. They're beginning their feast even before they've cooked me a bit. "Cicero. I love you like a sister. I don't want to see you consumed by Mother. She only sees you as a pawn. I know no one really cared for you like you thought. But Garnag did. I saw how he treated you and I…I felt bad. Like I could have done better."

I mean that. Sort of. I wouldn't say I love him, I still kind of hate him. But after my time around them I think I've figured out their dynamic. Mother orders him around like a good puppy and he goes on believing she has some undying love fostered for him.

"That name! That cursed name!" He screams when something else happens, "Listener, they are consuming us!"

"Use your blades, I'll use my own. Just cut the damn thing holding my hair." I tell him.

I don't need sight to know he agrees. I feel it. He uses my arms and pulls himself up to my shoulders, away from his captor to cut the arm of the damn thing grasping my hair. The thing cries out. I instinctively want to clap my ears to keep the sound away. But I have to resist.

I flip, pull the Ebony Blade and race after it. I can hear it racing through the forest. I stab through the air, hoping I make my impact. It screams out. I hear more of these inhuman screams sounding in the darkness. Some far away, some too close for comfort.

I follow the sound. Cicero is just fighting one near me based on the screams it makes. I feel one brushing past me, trying to get away. I swipe the Blade enough to sever its head.

More screams. But we keep fighting. I can't see in this dark, my hearing is nearly impaired based on how loud it is with humanoid voices wailing into the night. Now I just use my feet to keep me stable. I feel Cicero launch over me and hold my shoulder for momentum. He leaps over my form, and I hear him tackle one of the Children before me. I swipe at it too. It seems to go down based on the thump I hear soon after.

We are both exhausted. Our heavy breathing now fills the void the Children left. "Are they gone?" Cicero asks. I can feel his fear and anticipation.

I keep my ear out. No sounds come in the forest. That is, until I feel Hermaeus Mora's eye lock on us. "What have you done now?" I hear her strolling through the path we made. Around the numerous trees.

Mother breaks through. She seems calmer now. Less hostile. Hermaeus Mora moves to set his glow over us. I see them then, the bodies littering the floor.

"The Children are slain. They will return to the Void promptly to regenerate what they have lost." He states the obvious.

Mother looks over them in disgust. "Good. Where they should be."

I feel his apprehension. His own despair. "Mother? You don't care for them? Not even a little bit?" Cicero is next to me.

She locks her eyes on his. "No. They died long ago, any care I had for them died with them."

I feel ice blooming along my chest. Holy shit. I thought after she killed them, she felt some remorse. Doesn't look like that is so.

Cicero is shocked. I can feel it through this weird vampire link. He looks between the both of us and now Mother is watching me with that predatory glare. "But Cicero, know this. I still love you. I would hate to see you hurt." She lies through her teeth. Even smiles at me, possibly to mock me.

I rest my hand on his shoulder. "Don't listen to her, remember when the dragon almost killed you? She couldn't care less if you were to die."

She pouts at me, "If he were to die, he would be in the best place for it…"

"She wants you gone. She thinks you're annoying." I mention before she can try to get to him further.

"Cicero. I gave you a chance to prove your worth." She smiles down at him. "And look at how well that has gone. You've never been so strong…"

The jester shakes my hand off. I can still feel him. He is shaken and despairing. "Cicero needs to be alone now." He whispers.

I clutch the Ebony Blade in my right hand. I'm ready for another assault by the Night Mother. For her to send a dagger into my chest or to go after Cicero. I now decide I need him on my side. I need him with me to stop her. I know he changed so easily back under her sway, but I won't let it happen again. And I still won't trust him, I'll just keep him at arm's length.

"You know I love you both." She whispers. She's now watching me silently.

I back up after grabbing Cicero's arm. He stumbles along with me. She follows, over branches and bodies. "I love you, Eve." She says again, "After your mother died…I know what kind of pain that is. I know you needed a new figure in your life."

I slash out with the Blade. She moves back to keep it from nicking her chest. "Fuck off! I'm not dealing with your crap right now. I know you never cared. If you did then you wouldn't have stabbed me back there!"

I see hatred mar her sight before she conceals it. "I wouldn't ever hurt you. But you know the Void. You know how easy it is to slip into an illusion. I was merely protecting you from his influence."

"Stop." I say gruffly. "Just stop. We all know you're lying. I know you have a dagger or a fucking stick with you to jab in my chest. All because I'm some sort of nuisance to your plans. If you want to pretend to be a good mother, you're going to have to be way more convincing than that."

Her soft expression gives way to anger. She stomps towards me. I'm ready for it. I hold my Blade up, ready to defend us when I hear Sithis.

I am here.

The air grows colder. The trees pull away and soon some sort of dark cloud slowly blots Hermaeus Mora from view. I still feel like I'm standing. I'm still holding onto Cicero who is now as petrified as I am by this turn of events.

I can hear her breathing in front of me.

If I lower my Blade, she will lunge, and I'd have little hope of keeping her from me. I just have to keep a good hold.

Children. Sithis addresses us, just as I heard him my first few times in the Void.

Let us out. I can't hear Mother speak but I can feel these thoughts being sent out into the darkness.

Cicero tenses near me. His fear is another animal, wiggling inside me and begging to be set free. I squeeze his shoulder, hoping that gives him some sort of comfort.

Listen well, I have watched your fights from afar. To say it is petty is a grave understatement. I am going to give you another chance on Mundus. If you fail once again, you will not get another chance to be set free.

You know what I am doing. You know what I do benefits you as much as the Void. Mother speaks. It's weird. It's like she's part of the fabric of the Void as much as he is. Almost like her body is not standing right in front of me and preparing to kill me.

Dear Blood Flower, you have lost your sight. He sighs. I have feared this. You know if you were to go on like this, they would take you away from me.

Her silence blows through the Void like a sudden breeze. Cicero's breathing is as ragged as my own. That sort of power I just felt is strong.

You thought you were destined for the Void? You know you are not. You know you are bound to your own body and can become trapped. If that were to happen…worship of the Void would dissipate.

I do this all for you. I give you as many souls as possible. It's almost like she's pleading.

He stops her with a harsh command. Don't speak. I am not finished. You know this land would become a fable without the Dark Brotherhood. Anywhere you stepped, you brought in your love and devotion to me. If you were to become trapped, or killed, there would be no one left to spread my word.

I would not get caught. She says sharply.

You would. I know you had a longing to walk Nirn again, whole and unbound to the coffin, you got your wish. But forces are advancing on the Brotherhood Sanctuary. If that were to be destroyed, they would demonize you.

They already do.

Silence. Cicero is beginning to panic with this sensory deprivation. I feel it. He jerks away from me. I hold tight. Feeling that she isn't in front of me anymore, I rest my arm and let the Blade drop, then I pull him into my embrace.

He jerks and tries to pull away, but I calm him with soft words. "It's okay. I'm here. I won't leave. Let them talk. When they're done, they'll let us go."

"Listener." He cries into my shoulder, "I don't like this. It makes me feel…itchy, uncomfortable."

"I know. It will be done soon, and we'll be free." I'm not sure if I'm making false promises. I might be but I damn well hope we get out of here soon.

"Will they let us go? When we have been devoted to them for so long? Cicero was the best servant of the Void."

I swallow my rising fear with those words. He's right. If I were to go anywhere and if Nocturnal weren't in the way, I have a feeling I'd be here. "We'll be okay. Just wait."

A scream sounds in the Void. It doesn't sound like a traditional scream. It's like some sort of energy has pulsed before us. Nearly taking me and Cicero down. I hold him tighter, hear his heart hammering in his chest. "Don't leave me, Listener." He whispers.

Let us talk in silence. She commands.

Sithis answers. We will. Let us leave the Children. This is not a discussion to be had in their presence.

They leave. Their presence is gone but the Void remains. I can't see, can't hear anything besides our own hearts, can barely feel, smell, whatever the else I can normally do. I just hold my brother by soul closer to me.

"Listener, did you mean that back there? You love Cicero? You know how Garnag was…" He asks so softly.

I can feel his vulnerability, I would mock it, but I can't after what I've seen. "I do. I understand now what happened. How you…well, got this way. Garnag was the only person to treat you like a human being."

He's silent. I don't need to feel his emotions to know how they roil below the surface. I hear a quiet sob. "They hated me. They never wanted Cicero around. Did you find out what happened to him? He left me too." He sniffles.

I suppress a sigh. This is tough, especially so since we only have this to focus on. "He loved you, I'm sure. Like a Brother. But at the time things were changing. He had to leave, and you wouldn't go with him. You stayed with her." I whisper.

He starts shaking in my arms. Full on sobs. "I thought she would do good by me. I thought Mother, at least, would never abandon me."

I don't dare say she hasn't. She sure didn't abandon him if she brought him through the Void to kill me. But she did back when we were entering Sovngarde. "She loves me, I know it." He whispers into my shoulder. "She is blinded but Sithis will help her. Sithis loves her more than anything in the world, you know that?"

I keep biting my tongue with that too. I can feel his anticipation. That excitement, giddiness, whatever you call it. It was a small flame in his despairing heart. I remember how the Orc treated him kindly in such a bad time. I decide to let Cicero have that thought.

Soon, the discomfort sets in. I feel Cicero wiggle against me. He hates the nothing just like I do. We only have each other to hear, feel, be with. "We'll be fine. I promise." I say when he struggles further. I don't want him to run away from me. If he does, there's no way in hell we'll be able to find each other. "When have I ever lied to you?" I ask him. Knowing that he's probably doubting Mother by now.

This breaks his ever-present tension. He laughs, "Oh, Listener. What a silly question. You know the answer." But he doesn't pull away. He keeps good hold on me. It's not romantic or sensual in anyway. It's just two people left out at sea with nothing but each other for solace. We now have nothing to do but rest with the silence.