THE COLD LAND

The Listener

I'm good with time. I should have known how long it was taking for me to die. But I didn't know. All I heard were Bryn's pleas to live and then I looked over and saw Mother thank me. She was dying too. At least my last moments would give me the knowledge that I succeeded. I won. She was gone and wouldn't torment anyone anymore.

I then tried to turn my attention to Bryn. I wanted to let him know how much I loved him. But my body was failing. I could barely keep my head up. I just studied his face. I had such wonderful memories with him. I knew him almost better than I knew anyone else. He was always so kind and good to me. I wish I could have spent a life with him.

But I'd take what I could get. I replayed those quiet mornings with him. The meals we had together. The home we built out of Honeyside. I guess I did get a dog in Oliver. That will have to do. I got as much as I could out of it.

I barely saw Mjoll. She was crying again but I hoped she knew I didn't fight her to, well, fight her. I fought her to get ready for Miraak's kill. Good luck that was. Especially since after he promptly fell to ash. Solstheim will remain free for however long it can. Until some other powerful psychopath stumbles upon it.

Cicero was near me. He was talking, crying, to Mother, then he turned to me.

"Listener. Sister. Thank you. Thank you such much. Cicero will never forget you. You will have a proper burial and be sent to Sithis." He went on with whatever the hell he was talking about. That is, until Bryn shoved him away. He fed me blood. Potion. Anything. It didn't stop my darkening vision. Over his shoulder I saw her. A cloaked figure hunched over, as if she were bracing for the rain to fall. Nocturnal looked down on me, solemnly, but also with a look of pride.

I guess I passed out after that. Whack! No more. Just darkness. Done. I thought I'd hear some more bullshit from Sithis again. Instead, I walk out into a very different kind of forest. I can see everything. The trees are a stark black. The sky a dark purple, like night has just set here. I find I'm in some sort of macabre version of the Solitude courtyard. The stones are dark. The people surrounding me are daedric.

Bryn, laying over what I guess is my form is some sort of shadowy creature. A gargoyle like version of himself that was hollowed out. I laid a hand on him. The thing just snarled at me, his fangs elongated and saliva flying in my face. He goes back to mourning.

"Jeez. Good to see you too." I wipe the spit from my face.

Not much to see here, just sightless daedra. So, I turn and wander the land. It's pretty cold here. Dark and scary. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was back somewhere in the Soul Cairn.

When I get to the gates of Solitude, I see him. He's leaning with his back against the Winking Skeever. Daedra come and go, some drunk, some fighting, and some wobbling. Looks like alcohol is still around here. Score.

The shadowy figure rises from his laid-back position when he sees me. "Took you long enough." He towers over me.

"Hey, long time, no see." I say to Molag Bal. "What is this place?"

"Coldharbour. I thought you were smart enough to know that by now." He growls but instead of malice I see fierce pride in his eyes. Then it turns into hatred. "You didn't give me that kill."

"What do you mean?" My brow furrows. "I told you, you can take the Night Mother's soul."

"You did. But I don't have it. The fucker blocked me." I see his claws curling in on themselves. His muscles tightening.

I blink. "What?"

"Sithis. He made some sort of a deal with you. He took the soul from me." Molag Bal growls.

Damn. That must have been what Sithis and the Night Mother were talking about in our absence. "I don't know what to say. I know it wasn't my doing." I say pathetically.

He growls. "Whatever. I won't consider it now knowing that fuck won't give her up. What I need to talk about is the destination of your soul."

I shiver with that thought. "So, I really am dead?" I think back to Bryn. How I savored our time together. It was good that I did. I had this small hope burning in my chest that this truly wasn't the end.

"For now. You are lucky. Without our deal, you would have gone straight to Evergloam to run around in the flower fields with dear sister. But we need to hash this out. If you want death: you follow dear sister, Nocturnal. If you want life: you pledge your soul to me. I will take you into Coldharbour after death. But you get a longer life. Eons if you manage not to get yourself killed."

I catch my breath. I can barely comprehend what he's telling me. I don't have to die right now. I can go back to Bryn, back to Penny, Gabriel, the wolves, everyone. But in order for that to happen I have to sacrifice a life in Sovngarde. I figured I'd be able to find my way out of the deal with Nocturnal. But Molag Bal wouldn't be so generous.

Molag Bal stares me down. He hates me. I can feel it. "You know I sense your hesitation. Since I am the creator of vampires, I know how you think." He growls.

I nod. Tears are still threatening me. I wish there were another way out of this. But it looks like right now my choices are either, die right now and enter Nocturnal's realm. Or make this deal with Molag Bal and end up as his. I get more time on Nirn, forever, if I can help it. But that flimsy dream of Sovngarde is long gone.

"Tell me what you want, child. I know you beg for at least something in your pathetic life." He glares me down.

It comes bubbling out of me. I can't help it. "I just want peace. I want a small cottage somewhere in the wilderness. A faraway place where no one can touch us. I want my friends at arm's reach, where I can call them whenever I need them. I want to make memories with my lover, strolling under the canopy of the most beautiful forest. I want a dog. More companionship." I stifle a sob, "I just want to wake up in the morning and not feel like the world is counting on me. I want to wake up with Bryn, sleepy eyed, bedhead and all, and only think about what food we might make that day. Where we might go. What we might see. I don't want this burden anymore." I motion to my chest where my heart has been pierced clean through, just like the Night Mother.

"A modest life. That is what you seek?" He bares his fangs. "Not much for my kin."

"Don't I deserve it?" I nearly scream in his face, "After all I've done! I've had excitement for a million lifetimes, unless you weren't watching me in those prison cells? You think I'm only twenty-seven? I feel older. I feel ancient." I let the words slip off the tip of my tongue.

The Prince only laughs, "That is why you are so young. Yes, you seem only two decades nearing your third. You don't know what it's like to be in your third century. Trust me when I say the pastoral life will wear thin."

I sniff, "Then I'll just get wrapped up in some other crisis. I promise I will. Trouble always knows where to find me."

He laughs again, "I suppose so. I just don't want another Oblivion crisis like this Night Mother shit. I want her gone. I accept the deal. Now, you are truly mine."

I nod in acknowledgement. I had no other choice. I do like Nocturnal, love her even, but I don't want to spend eternity with her. I want a fighting chance here.

Molag Bal holds out his large hand, the sharp talons make it seem even larger. I hold out my own hand just to be dwarfed by his. He takes it roughly and we shake. "The deal is sealed. Your soul is mine and in return, you get to live a little while longer on Nirn."

I only get moments to look around at my final resting place. A dark land with inhabitants as cold as it were. I see daedra peering at me curiously. Some a shell of their former selves, barely scraping by. Others were as prestigious and pretentious as Sheogorath.

"Good luck, vampire. I'll see you soon." Molag Bal laughs deeply before I fall away.

I wake up in a cold sweat. The bed I'm in is rough. Some poorly constructed cot for soldiers. Men and woman stand around me. Some squeal when I wake up. Others gape. One guy even faints. I shove off all the burial wraps that they were coating me in.

I race out of the tent before they can say more. Barely giving a passing thought to the fact that they were going to bury me. I just have to find him.

I see a crowd of people near some half-assed fire. Wolves. The bear guy. He had his hand resting on a back of a man who sat with poor posture. Like the world was too heavy to hold up. His hair was alight in the flame and held its own brightness. Bryn.

I plow into him. His heart, now vampire strength increases in speed with my near assault. "Eve." He says and pulls me to him. I don't even think, just kiss him as passionately as I can. Just like the first time in the Thieves Guild. Even better. His arms curl around me, pulling me closer. I can't stifle my sob. I almost missed this. I was almost gone for good. I bury my head in his shoulder. It would take nothing short of a crisis to pull me away now.

"Is that Eve?" Airhead, I mean Aerin asks from the fire.

"By the gods it is!" Vilkas yells.

"Duck!" The rieklings yell from the sidelines. I look over and find Teldryn tending to them. His helmet is off so I can see his glowing smile.

A hand lands on my shoulder. I pull away from Bryn to find Mjoll. Her eyes are hesitant. I just pull her into a hug. "We did it." I tell her.

She laughs airily, "We did."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I needed to make sure Miraak had a clean kill."

She nods, "It's alright. I understand now." She pulls away and her beautiful human-like eyes assess me. "How are you alive?"

I go over the story with everyone. I had to tell them the truth. And nothing but. Everyone was shocked and mildly saddened. But the optimists in the group knew that this gave me a new life. Only a select few mourned the new destination of my soul.

Cicero the most.

He sat on his own log, tending to the fire with a stick he was poking it with. When it caught fire, he finally let it go. "Listener. Cicero is happy you're alive, but wouldn't you have wanted to be with Sithis?"

I pull Bryn with me and go to sit next to the jester. "I enjoyed our time there." I tell him slowly while choosing my words carefully, "But I'm not a huge fan."

He looks up to me with the saddest of eyes. It's like a void opening up. "What now?" He asks.

"Where is Mother?" I have my own questions.

"Back in her body. In the coffin. The Castle was destroyed but me and the others were able to bring it over." He motions behind him to where Nazir and Babette were watching me cautiously. Their hands were clasped in front of them to show they had no weapons. I nod to them, and they do the same in return. We'll have that conversation later.

"Let me think about it." I say, wondering if I'm now the leader of the Dark Brotherhood since Mother is gone.

"Ah, there you are! I thought I saw you over there, but it was just a poorly sheared sheep." Sheogorath stumbles towards me. His clothing is immaculate. His eyes are wild.

He plops down near Bryn and snakes his hand into his jacket. "Hold on, hold on, I know you've all been waiting so patiently." He grins then pulls out one of those Daedric malt shakes.

A few months ago, I would have groaned at this. The shakes are gross, they have eyeballs and gods knows what as toppings. But when he passes one out to each person around the fire, I find that it's not so bad. The chocolate is good. The eyes not so much. But I was alive and here. Surrounded by friends.

The wolves picked at it but eventually gave in. They eat raw meat, so this isn't that different. Bryn laughs when he sees Galmar gagging over it. "I'll be right back." He whispers at me and goes over to possibly taunt the general guy. At least they have a budding friendship.

Sheogorath scoots over to where I'm sitting. "How's eternity sounding to you?"

I pop an eyeball in my mouth. It tastes gooey, and fruity, and goes down with a squishing sound. Gross. But I had to get through it to get to the dark chocolate. The good stuff. "Fine. Molag Bal bartered for my soul. I get to go to Coldharbour and in exchange get to run around here some more."

Sheogorath snickers and elbows me. "Sounds nice. Although he doesn't have a bustling town of taverns there you know? Maybe one of these days we can renegotiate your contract and get you into the Shivering Isles."

I smile at that, "Maybe one day." I had enough excitement in the past few months to last a few years. I'm not even sure if Molag Bal would let me go.

"Not a bad trade. I can give you all of this too." He nods his head to my friends by the fire. Cicero finishes his own drink and leans his head against my shoulder, listening in our conversation but not interjecting.

"Where's Nocturnal?" I ask Sheogorath.

The Prince of Madness' expression sours. "Not sure. Around here somewhere. She might not be happy to hear about your new status with the Prince of Enslavement. Enslavement! That's the rest of your life, you know."

"Not yet." I take another sip of my drink. It's so sweet and beautiful after that nothingness.

We fall into silence. Murmurs around the roaring fire provide a calming sound. Sheogorath is slurping down his drink and soon produces another one. This time it's a vanilla-chocolate swirl. I watch in amusement as he wolfs the thing down just as quickly. Not taking the time to clean his lips and trailing ice cream down his face.

"Mother loves you." Cicero blurts out.

I flinch with that statement. He feels it. I feel his sadness seeping it. "I won't say I liked her, but I can now empathize with her." I say, neutrally.

He sighs, "Listener. She went to great lengths for us. And we did with her. It was nothing but Sithis who got in our way. It wasn't his will."

Sheogorath leans over and around my body to address the jester. "Sure you don't want to make a deal? I can bring you into the Shivering Isles. You would have the most decadent life there. And you'd fit right in!"

Cicero sinks back. "No thank you, Sithis has my heart."

"Still?" I laugh, "After everything we went through?"

The jester sighs, "Yes, Listener. I sometimes forget how young you are. I have more years on you. More experience. Someday you'll know what loyalty is like."

I keep my laughter to myself. I glance at Sheogorath with my smile. He waggles his eyebrows and shrugs. The night goes on like this. In the company of friends and food. Eventually, a feast broke out. Ulfric came in to congratulate us and thank me, Mjoll, and everyone else for what we did for the cause. I just smiled at him. Not sure what I did for him, but he was sure happy for me.

Later on, I got to snuggle up with Bryn. He whispered loving words to me and caressed me all night. Right before sleep came, he asked me, "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

I thought about it before answering. About what we have to do. "Yes. I've been waiting five years for it."

The morning rose softly. A rain came through the night before, so a slight mist kept the ground cool and damp. The hill we ascend, though, is green as can be. On the top of it I see the carriage all strapped up and ready to go. The coffin shiny and muted in a way in the diffused lighting. The clouds are still low and heavy here.

Roses adorn her, spill over the coffin to lay on the ground. It must have been the remaining members of the Dark Brotherhood who did it. When I get to the edge, the wolves, Stormcloaks, and Bryn stay put. Bryn squeezes my hand. I smile at him, lovingly, and take Cicero's hand when I let go of his. We walk, hand in hand up the hill to see our Mother.

The coffin is open. I don't look in yet. Instead, me and Cicero walk over to where the others are. Nazir stands with Babette at his side. A younger Nord man and an Argonian woman stand behind them. Looks like they're the only ones to survive the Castle bombings.

"Rough night?' Nazir grins.

"Not that rough, or else I'd be here an hour later." I send back.

He laughs, "Ah, I guess you're right. I'd go on sparring forever but unfortunately we have a bit of business to discuss."

"Thought so." I motion to the coffin nearby. Babette has her eye on me. I won't say I'm…friendly with her yet after all that transpired but I can warm up to her with time. I heard about Nazir's heroism. Without him, the wolves would have surely been killed.

"Mother is gone, in there, so now the mantle of Brotherhood leader falls to you." Babette says, "I am curious though. Can you hear her still?"

All eyes turn to me. Cicero's golden ones are filled with wonder. I feel his anticipation. I stand silent for a moment. "Nope." I say, "I talked with Sheogorath about it. He said after the Night Mother's soul re-entered her body, Sithis broke the connection between us. I guess I was a bad influence." I glance over the coffin.

Nazir chuckles but Babette's expression sours. "Hmph, looks like we'll have to find a new Listener then."

I feel Cicero's disappointment, but it is fleeting. "Maybe she'll choose me." He muses.

"Maybe." I say.

"Let's talk shop." Nazir barges in, "What now? What do you want to do?"

I shrug, "Far as I'm concerned, I'd rather…" I look over everyone. Nazir is smiling. The new initiates look bored out of their minds. Babette is bored as well. Cicero is glowing with anticipation.

I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted no connection to the Brotherhood. I thought about telling them they should disband. But after conversing it with Bryn and that Galmar guy last night, we found a good way of dealing with this.

"I'll remain the leader at heart. For the important decisions, especially ones regarding her," I nod to the coffin, "Otherwise, I appoint Nazir as the functional leader if you would. He's going to lead the day-to-day murders and contracts. I don't think you'll get a Listener for a long time, if ever. So, it's back to scraping around a cave with little more than contracts that cost pennies."

Nazir's grin widens at that, "My favorite. I like how you think."

Babette sighs, "As long as I can bring my things. I have little of them, but I want to get another dollhouse. Where should we go?"

"Might as well go back to Dawnstar." Nazir says. "What about her?" He motions to the coffin.

I don't look at it yet. "Cicero takes her. Takes her far away from here. I don't care where, just somewhere where she can't get back into Skyrim again."

"Listener!" Cicero cries in shock.

I stop him with my well-rehearsed speech. "There are too many memories and too many temptations here for her. She needs a break, and so do you. As far as I'm concerned, you and her are disbanding from the Skyrim Dark Brotherhood. You can remain with Nazir and Babette in spirit, but I need you to take her coffin out of the province. Keep her hidden and safe. You're her Keeper."

He just watches me for a moment. Far too long, but eventually he nods slowly. "I will do that, for you Listener. And for her." He pulls me close in a hug. I hug back. I can't wait to get away from him, but I'm happy to have this moment. He was instrumental in getting us out of this mess. I then hugged Nazir who told me not to be a stranger. I nodded to the other initiates and Babette kept her distance. I waved at her.

Then I approached her. Mother was resting as she once was. Her body gnarled and bent to the side. I climb up the carriage to hold on to either side of the coffin to peer down on her. I thought I'd feel her stirring but this time I see nothing but a corpse. Smell nothing but a corpse.

"I was going to prepare a speech," I begin, hoping she's listening, "But I figured the best words are straight from the heart." I take a deep breath and let it all out, "I don't like you. I hate you. But I also appreciate you." I watch her form. She doesn't blink, doesn't move. Just watches with those hollow, milky eyes. "Without your guide I never would have come to Skyrim. I would have died in a prison without seeing my true potential. I never would have met the love of my life or made the friends that I have. I wouldn't know what a happy future looks like."

I glare down at her now. "But make no mistake, you fuck with me again, I'll set Molag Bal on you. Sithis is on my side. I'll remain the spiritual leader of the Dark Brotherhood, dealing with contracts and negotiations from afar. This allows me to keep an eye on you. You are going away. Far away for a long time. I hope to live a long time, longer than you can imagine. And I hope to never see you again. I know you thought you filled the void my parents left… and maybe that was true. I followed you. Listened to you. Killed for you. But no more."

I remember those memories I was shown in the Void, there was a reason for them. "I know you now. Better than I did before. I don't agree with what you did and what you wanted. But I can understand why. I hope you find peace."

I watch her. This will be the last time I see her. Might as well make it count. "Good luck. And even though I hate you, and the feeling is mutual, I will never forget you."

Her eyes glare back at me, as if to say, I won't either.

There's nothing left to say. Not anything of substance. So, I just slowly close the coffin doors, letting them descend of my former captor softly. But once they close in on the body of her coffin, I finally slam them shut.

Cicero's Journal Entry

2nd of Frost Fall, 4E 202

Listener, Listener, Listener. Cicero has never met someone so…bold. Conniving. Daring. Brave. Intelligent. Intelligent! Mother! She asks us to leave your new home all so you don't get another silly idea in your head! But as Sithis's mouthpiece I must follow her orders. However, Listener, who I shall now call, Leader, made a misstep. She never said where to go or when. So, Cicero will take you somewhere safe Mother. He will follow Our Leader and see where she goes. Maybe, Mother, maybe we will find the perfect place for you there.

A/N: Thank you so, so much for everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, and enjoyed this story! I have four more chapters to post, I will post two on Wednesday and the final two Sunday. :)