A HOME TO DREAM OF
The Leader
Who knew being a homeowner would be so damn hard? I had just gotten back to Lakeview with more wood for our fire when I saw the bandits raiding it. Two men were out in the open and faced me with their weapons when they saw me. Two were hiding in the shadows. I pulled my short sword and lit up my hand with an ice spike.
They were dead in minutes. Only the four of them but all they swiped was jewelry. Soon, Bryn came back. He helped me dispose of the bodies. Once inside I found a very frightened Penny locked up upstairs with the dogs.
I pull him into a hug. "I'm glad you stayed up here. Good idea, just use this next time." I hand him the sword.
"Yes, Eve, I just hope this isn't a common occurrence." He laughs a little, still shaken, "May I go get some water for you? Food?"
"No, I'm good. Just go lay down or rest. You don't have to be at our service whenever and wherever." I remind him.
He laughs a little, trying to mask his fear, but soon returns to his room, taking Oliver with him. Cupcake and Jolly stayed with me. No clue where Barbas was, probably back with Clavicus Vile for the night. "Man, you guys sure are protective." I mutter as the new dogs follow me around room to room.
"Everything good?" Bryn asks me from the front door.
"Yep. Just checking things out. Dogs and Penny are fine."
"Good." Bryn seems relieved. He runs a hand through his hair, it's hard not to get distracted by it. "I'm going to clean up more out here, might put a few traps up so we'll have to remind Penny of that." He nods to me.
"Okay. I will. Let me just check this room and I'll be out." I tell him.
He leaves and I am now free to enter our bedroom. It was as we left it. Big bed all made up, chests and bookshelves abound. I race over to the long table that sits under the window. Bryn said I shouldn't leave it here, but I figured thieves won't look in plain sight. I knew that from experience.
I open the oak wood carved chest. It's thin but very long, large enough to hold what's precious inside. The Ebony Blade. It's pristine and unmarred. I let out a breath. I was worried they were coming for it. Always worried. I decided to hang it up for a bit. It brought back too many memories when I held it. I needed a break from it.
In truth, I thought Mephala might redistribute it and send it back into Nirn for some other schmuck to find. But it stayed with me. I think it likes me. I used to feel fearful over that thought, now I trail my hand down the carved edge of it.
"Everything alright up here, lass?" Bryn asks. Looks like I was taking a little too long in studying this.
"Yeah. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay and in its place."
He wraps his arms around me. "Missing it?" He asks into my hair.
I lean my head back against his large frame. "A little. I'm so used to having it at my back. Ready to go. I used to feel naked without it. But this is good. I don't want to stay dependent on it if Mephala decides to yank it and throw it back into Nirn." I felt the same about the Nightingale Armor. It's why I was wearing other types. More skintight and different colors, just like the Nightingale Armor. But it was hard to leave in the wardrobe. I wasn't sure if Nocturnal would take it away either.
We had a quiet dinner in the massive dining room. Almost too big with just the three of us. Penny served up some good rolls with the chicken. He ate with us, but I noticed his hand kept trembling from the fear. I decided then we were going to practice some sparring tomorrow.
"Get good sleep tonight, Penny, we're going to do spells and sword training in the morning." I murmured around a dinner roll.
He gave me a surprised look but didn't push. I knew he was a little reluctant, but he knew spending time with me usually led to danger. Danger I wouldn't always be able to keep from him.
Bryn encouraged me. We spent the rest of the night playing with the dogs before Penny decided to retire early. "I'll get as much sleep as possible." He lays a soft hand on my shoulder as he heads back in.
"Good. Eat well in the morning too, you'll need as much energy as possible." I remind him.
He went in and Oliver followed. Jolly and Cupcake were just playing near the chickens, a little too close, who knows what would happen if one of them accidentally killed one. But they soon stopped. They perked up, ears at attention, hearing the sounds of something rumbling in the forest.
Bryn whistled to catch my attention. I followed it and found Hay wandering out of the woods. When Gabriel stopped by three weeks ago before the wedding in Jorrvaskr, he brought Hay with him. Unfortunately, the bear couldn't go where he was going, wherever Sanguine wanted him. So, he stayed with us. I was happy to have the bear around. And when no guests were here, I let him sleep downstairs next to the fireplace.
The bear rumbles up to me, bypassing my outstretched hand to rub his massive head against mine. "I know, I love you too." I laugh and pat him. He drinks it in. I used to think dogs were the biggest attention seekers but wait till you see bears.
We play with him for a while. Then, he goes back out into the forest. Looks like he wasn't done hunting yet. I went to the bedroom with Bryn, and after a long, languid, time in our giant bubble bath we moved to the bed. Moving against each other as we have so many times before. But the excitement never seems to wear off.
We fell asleep promptly. I needed to be ready for the morning shenanigans with Penny. I was actually excited. Now that I'm a pro, somewhat, with this fighting stuff, it was fun giving that knowledge to someone else.
My sleep was broken though. Something tugged at me, forcing my eyes awake. Usually, it's due to some repressed memory or nightmare coming to the surface. I was better about it now. Instead of screaming and thrashing about or pacing, I could just clutch the covers close to me and will my heart to slow.
Not tonight though. Something was keeping me up. Something was pulling at me. I got up and changed as quick as I could, not really paying attention to what clothing I chose. When I make my way out the door, I notice the black of it gleaming in the moonlight. Dark and easy to hide in the shadows. It's the Nightingale Armor. Whatever. I need to go see what's outside. Worst case, it's bandits. Best case, it's Hay wanting a midnight snack and being too lazy to go get it himself.
Instead, I open the door and see her standing under one of the great pine trees. Like some sort of divine figure come back to avenge herself. She's as beautiful as the day I first saw her, still healing from my wounds in my cot. A raven flies overhead, a few come down on me and pick at my hair.
"Don't mind them. They needed to wake you up. I'm sorry about that." Nocturnal moves forwards, her cloak falls showing her beautiful eyes and face. "I needed to talk with you. I haven't been able to since coming back to Mundus."
I move forwards a bit, not sure how close I should get. I'm still a little apprehensive. I feel bad that I severed my ties to her. But she has to understand why I did it. "Sorry about that. I'm guessing you know the scoop?"
She nods. "Molag Bal bargained for your soul. He gave you life again." Her expression is solemn. Disappointed. "You know I would have done the same for you. Without asking anything in return."
My throat suddenly feels raw. I swallow it down. "I'm sorry. I was under the impression that if I didn't accept, it would be over for me."
"Such tricks we daedra like to play." She murmurs. "I tried to bargain with him myself, for your soul. But he told me ask you."
Ask me again for my soul? Get it back? "What's the catch?" I ask.
She studies me, "Not much, just more bindings I suppose. I would have you guard the Twilight Sepulcher some more. I have more tasks for you…" She talks like I've already accepted.
I feel tears burning in my eyes. The night is quiet, save for some animals scurrying about. And my own heart beating too quickly. "I would. I just…Nocturnal. I am grateful for you. I love you like a mother. More than her. Not more than my own mother though. I need a chance to get back to Sovngarde. I was thinking about that recently. I wouldn't worry about it so soon. But I want to free my soul eventually."
She still watches me curiously. "You want to go back to Sovngarde to see your parents." She states.
I hide my surprise, "Wouldn't you?" I ask.
She shakes her head, letting her hair fall around her carelessly in frizzled ringlets. In all the time I've been with her, I haven't known her to let her appearance show any imperfections. I swallow hard. She continues, "I don't know what that kind of bond is like. I'm just surprised. You worked with us daedra without second thought."
I shrug, "Didn't know I had a choice."
She keeps her smile small but doesn't let on if there was one or not. "So, I guess this is it, then? You relinquish your Nightingale status in favor of Molag Bal. All while trying on the impossible task of escaping his fate."
I feel uncomfortable admitting it, but she got the gist of it. "Pretty much." I say. I move closer a bit. I don't know why, maybe to pull her into a hug.
She takes a step back. "It's done. Your soul is with him, and you have no powers from me, nor do you need to defend the Sepulcher with your life." Her voice is hard.
"I would if you need me to." I tell her.
"If you wish. You can follow Brynjolf when crisis breaks out." It's almost a mocking tone. I see her ravens flock around her, she pulls her hood up.
"Wait, no." I hold out a hand to her, "Please don't leave like this. I didn't mean any offense to you. I just wanted a chance."
She watches me with those strange and alluring eyes. "Everyone does, it's why they make deals with us. Rest assured, I am not one to hold grudges. But don't try this with my brother. He is known to never get over them."
"Wait." I say again as the ravens start swirling. "Can…can we talk again? Will you come back? I still love you." I tell her honestly.
She gives me a smile. If I were less experienced with the daedra I would find it cruel. "That is your mistake then. Never love a daedra, even if it isn't a romantic bond. They never end well. I'll come back from time to time. You still…entertain me."
She's talking just like the others. Shutting that door in my face so hard after so long with an informal relationship with her. I feel a tear stream down my face, no matter how hard I try to keep it in. "I'm sorry," I say again, nearly choking on the panic. In the past year or so, I haven't been without her. Even when Mother banished the Princes, I knew she was still there for me.
"I know you are." She watches me. "But I wouldn't keep saying that. It might make me strike another deal and you have enough of that already. Goodbye, Eve."
I want to call out to her to wait again but it's no use. The ravens flock her until she's consumed. Nothing more stands where she used to. I sink to the ground. My breathing is heavy. It's like a little hole has opened in my heart I didn't know was there. I guess Mother had a point. I was using her, to an extension but mainly the Daedric Princes as paternal figures, where I had none.
I let the emotion out. Cry alone on the forest floor until I am weak and spent. Afterwards, I have no choice but to find blood from a wanderer traveling the roads late at night. Right when I reach my bedroom again, Penny is at the door.
"You said right at five, miss, unless you wish to wait?" He notices my tear-stained cheeks.
I spy his new wardrobe, instead of a dapper, fancy tuxedo he's wearing brand new light armor right out of the box. Not a wrinkle to see and not a belt left undone. "No. No. This is good." I actually wouldn't mind beating the hell out of something, even if it's just a dummy. "Let's go." I say after checking the bedroom. Bryn is still sound asleep.
"Haven't seen you in that uniform in a while. It looks good on you." Penny says politely and motions to my Nightingale Armor.
"Oh, this? Yeah, all my other clothes need to be cleaned so this is all I have."
The morning is cool and overcast. I take Penny around to the other side of the house. I don't really want to stay where not even an hour before, I was rejected by a Daedric Prince.
"Okay, like this." I was showing him some basic sword moves. He starts. He's wobbly, but I see he'll get it.
"No, not like that." I grab his hand before he starts hacking the poor thing further. "This." I show the sweeping motion. He can't seem to get it. Then I finally look down at the blade I'm using to demonstrate. It's some good for nothing, blunt blade. I grind my teeth. This won't do. Even I can barely wield it. I don't think too much about it. In my haste to show Penny how good fighting is, I race upstairs to grab the Ebony Blade.
"Training already?" Bryn smiles at me from his comfortable spot in bed.
"Sort of." I pull the Ebony Blade out of the carved box, the weapon sings to me. I almost sigh from the feel of it. This Blade, I am used to.
"I'll come down after I grab a bite to eat, lass. You're right. Being a vampire means no appetite, but all cravings." He muses. He's just too cute. I go over and kiss him softly before leaving. "Sweetrolls in the kitchen freshly baked. Penny brought out all the stops today." I call back to him.
I walk downstairs, past the spot where Nocturnal left me again. I nearly trip up with the emotion. I didn't know how dependent I had gotten on her. But I keep going.
Penny gives me a worrying glance when I reach him. The sun was just breaking a little through the clouds, trying it's hardest to give us a clear day. Instead, all it does is illuminate the target dummy before me.
"Hey, Penny." I muse. "You, said you used to be priest right? Long time ago."
He clears his throat, "Not exactly. I was in training and decided that life wasn't for me."
I jump around on the balls of my feet, shake out the jitters and get myself ready to show him what a true fight looks like. "So, riddle me this, if one is in a contract with a Daedric Prince can one get out of it by just believing or worshipping a god?"
He seems puzzled, "I think so. It requires a lot of devotion. A lot of strength, but eventually they will come around. The gods smile on those who do them well." He says softly.
Just like the Daedric Princes. Got it. All I have to do to save my soul is a little ass-kissing. Not like I haven't done it before. With lighter spirits, I grin at Penny. "Ready to see something you've never seen before?"
He nods and waves to the target, "Be my guest."
I race over, like I have a million times, with my fast legs to get as close as possible. I've been in so many fights kind of like this, well not quite, the enemy never stood there like a dummy. But this was all for instructive purposes, so I let loose and add some frills. A little evasive maneuvering here, a little swiping of the Blade there.
Penny cheers me on. I hear the dogs barking. Barbas nearby with his own thoughts, Get him good, Eve!
I hear a whistle of appreciation up above and look up to that big damn tower we built. Bryn is leaning over the railing with a mug of coffee, bedhead and all to watch me. He grins down at me. "Go in for the kill!" He yells. "Send the head rolling!"
I lock eyes with Penny. His are wide as saucers, wondering what I will do next. "Here it is. Watch this well." I point to the dummy, "This is how we win." I tell him.
I spin, fast as I can and bring the Ebony Blade down, right into the neck of the dummy. His head cleaves right off and goes rolling. It doesn't stop. Guess that's what you get when you build land on a hill. The tan and baggy head goes all the way down to the road before disappearing on the horizon.
"Every time?" Penny asks hesitantly.
I flash him a toothy grin, fangs and all, "Most of the time."
Cicero's Journal Entry
7th of Sun's Dawn, 4E 203
It was perfect, too perfect. Cicero waited one night, one little, measly night to make sure this was the best option, and the house was raided! Cicero thought about going and slitting each and every throat in there. He would do it quietly and precisely, then set Mother down below the floorboards.
But a voice whispered. A clear, and firm command. Saying that you, sweet Mother, would not be safe there. Even if no bandit or filthy pillager came along, Leader would find her and…and…just throw her out! She would desecrate the coffin again as she has done so many times!
Oh, that thought. It makes Cicero's blood boil, even now while writing about it! He thought…he could just wait…and wait in the house until Leader came back. And slice her up nice and good. This house would then be ours, Mother. Ours to command.
But fate has a different plan. The voice came again. And told me of a new path, a new journey. So, Cicero, Keeper of the Night Mother, must oblige.