4 Years, 4 Months Post Snap

Harper grinned with satisfaction, placing the stamp on her thick envelope. With her doctorate under her belt and a full year of supervised practice at her fellowship completed, she was ready to apply to take her licensure exams. She had accumulated all of the necessary paperwork, finished the application, and stuffed everything into the envelope that was now ready to mail. Grabbing up her application to also take her specialized board exams, she slid her feet into her shoes. With a spring in her step, she scooted out of her apartment and headed downstairs to the mailbox.

That done, Harper headed back up to her apartment and scooped up her happy feline. She nuzzled his neck until he began to squirm, then nuzzled just a little more before placing a kiss on his head and placing him back down on the floor. Harper watched with a smile as Aslan walked away to take up a perch in the new cat tower she had gotten him. She had placed it below the large window in her living room and had set up several window birdfeeders for his viewing pleasure.

After starting him on medication, he had reverted back to his usual happy, loving self. There was no cure for his condition, but his response to the medicine so far indicated that they were at least successful in slowing effects of the disease down for the time being. She knew he was old and that certain things were inevitable, but the young woman really didn't know what she would do without him. He sometimes felt like her last tie to happiness and sanity.

Of course, she knew that wasn't exactly true. She had begun seeing a therapist almost immediately after the incident at the night club. It had really been a breaking point for her, though she knew she should have sought support much sooner than she had. Seeing a therapist herself had been an unreachable goal for many years. She didn't have the money for it in Romania, and she didn't have the money or the time while she was in grad school. Excuses, perhaps, but Harper was pretty sure that struggling to overcome those hurdles would have made her feel even worse. Regardless, things were different now and she was committed to doing the work to finally feel a bit better.

It was a challenge, though. She still detested opening up and being vulnerable with people. Practicing what she preached was hard, even knowing about the wide world of positive change that doing so would open for her. And she didn't envy her therapist dealing with her complex, somewhat unique case. What are the odds that one person would have lost half of their support system in the Snap, be suffering from a rare chronic pain condition that their doctor didn't believe she had for years, and was still processing the loss of the love of her life who just happened to be a man traumatized by his World War II experiences and subsequent capture, brainwashing, and decades of forced assassinations?

Her therapist had visibly been thrown for a loop when Harper first revealed more about James. She had really tried to ease the other woman into it, but her therapist had asked all the right questions to get at the truth pretty quickly.

"Tell me about James."

"He was honestly the sweetest, most loyal, thoughtful man I have ever met. He tried so hard to make me happy and to love me properly, even when it was difficult for him."

"When were things difficult?"

"I can't diagnose him of course, but all of the signs of PTSD were there. He was a combat veteran and former prisoner of war. On top of his own traumas, he was always really afraid of being incapable of meeting my needs, or harming me, or otherwise worsening my life because of who he was and the things he had done. He carried a lot of moral injuries."

"How did you feel about those things?"

"I wished things could have been different for him. But I suppose it also made me frustrated sometimes that he thought he was capable of anything but improving my life."

"Say more."

"Maybe… it felt like our relationship the way I saw it wasn't real if he saw such potential for pain and ruin. Like the love I thought we had wasn't the way I saw it in reality. And that was scary, because I needed him and I loved him and I didn't want either of us to be hurt."

"Do you think you might be sitting with those same feelings still?"

"Yeah. I do feel like I still need him. I absolutely still love him, and always will."

"I wonder how you would feel about joining a support group for the grieving partners of veterans?"

"I honestly don't think I could do that."

"What would hold you back? Or do you feel it wouldn't be helpful?"

"No, I know there's great potential for it to help, but… I wouldn't want to talk about James in that setting."

"Can you explore your discomfort a bit more?"

"He wasn't… the average vet."

"I guess I'm not entirely sure what you mean."

"Well… he served in World War II."

"Are you nervous about what other group members would think of your age difference?"

"Not exactly. There was certainly a chronological age difference between us but biologically… he was older than me by more like five years and change."

There was a long pause before the therapist asked, "What do you mean?"

"My partner James… well, he was James Buchanan Barnes. One of the Howling Commandos turned Winter Soldier."

"Oh, wow."

"Sorry, I know that's a lot and really unexpected."

"No, I'm sorry. I don't mean anything negative by my reaction, I was just surprised. The way I was understanding what you're going through was just shifting. I can't imagine all of the complex feelings you must have, but I think if I was in your shoes at the least my grief would be complicated by the fact that he actually fought Thanos."

"Even after the world has spent decades fearing and rejecting him," Harper nodded. "And for what? He's still gone and his life was hijacked and totally fucked up for so long."

"So you're actually grieving a lot of things where James is concerned."

Harper nodded again, her throat closing around any further words.

She hadn't expected to go so deep so soon, and she wasn't necessarily ready to go there yet. Harper had been upfront with her therapist about that, and they had pulled back, reworked her goals, and focused more on processing what had happened in the nightclub. There was a lot of work ahead of her, but there was a glimmer of hope for the first time in a long time.

5 Years, 1 Month Post Snap

"How was the drive?" Steve asked, extending his hand to take Harper's bag from her.

She allowed it, opting to stretch her arms above her head as she followed him into the Avengers compound. Absently, she replied, "Fine once I got through the rush hour traffic."

It was late on a Friday night and Harper was exhausted and on edge. She had woken early that morning, packed up Aslan and all of his things, and brought him to her mother's house. Then she had borrowed her mother's seldom used car, parked it at the nearest T station, and headed back into the city for work. After a long day, she rode the train back to where the car was parked and set out on the long drive to New York. It was nearing one in the morning and while the brunette craved sleep, her body was buzzing with nerves and excitement.

When Steve had called her a few days ago and explained that Tony Stark and Bruce Banner had essentially figured out time travel and that the Avengers were hatching a plan to go back in time to collect the Infinity Stones from the past in order to return everyone who had been snapped in the present, she was more than floored. And when he had asked her to join them to figure out the timeline of the past Stones, she agreed without hesitation. If she could do anything to help this amazing group of people (and android, and demi god, and sentient bipedal raccoon) bring back the loved ones of so many people, she had to do it.

"Everyone is still up," Steve mentioned, punching in his passcode to get into the building. "Do you want to head to bed, or…?"

"No, I'll join," Harper shook her head in the negative. "Are things in the same place in the kitchen? I need some coffee, I think."

"There should already be a pot on," Steve nodded.

They made their way into the living area. A quick scan of the room led to questions and further nerves. But she had to tug gently at Steve's forearm for his attention. He looked down at her and she whispered, "Is that… Thor?"

Steve nodded with a grave expression on his face. Harper knew that the demi god was not handling all of his losses, familial and battle, well when she had met him years ago after the Snap. But clearly things had only gotten worse.

"And… Bruce?" she lowered her voice further. Steve looked slightly uncomfortable before nodding.

Their arrival had soon called the attention of the room's occupants. Harper had just barely exchanged warm grins with Natasha when Tony looked up and announced, "Ah, Manchurian Candidate's girlfriend. Long time no see."

"Hello, Tony," Harper replied politely. "You look well."

Thor rose from his seat with a notable sway. Beaming and brandishing the beer in his hand, he boomed, "Harper! You look lovely! When did you get here? Come, let's toast our reunion!"

"It's nice to see you, Thor," Harper replied. "I'll pass on the toast. I think some caffeine takes precedence."

"Nonsense!" the blond chuckled, crossing the room and scooping her up in a hug.

Cinnamon brown eyes widened with horror and discomfort. She turned to look at Steve, pleading for him to intervene. The super soldier was clearly trying to hold back a laugh. Despite the pleasure he was obviously getting from her misfortune, he said, "Thor, let her down. She doesn't really like people in her personal space."

Tony barked a wry laugh at that and muttered something about exceptions for murderers. Harper's cheeks heated slightly with annoyance, but ignored him. Thor let her down and swayed off to the fridge for another beer, cheerfully rambling on about nothing discernible. Steve glanced between the billionaire and the psychologist a few times before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'll grab you some coffee. You take it the same way?"

Harper nodded her confirmation. "Thank you."

Bruce approached her then, his literally hulking frame towering over her. "Nice to see you again, Harper. Or, it's Dr. Montgomery now, right?"

The brunette chuckled and said, "It is. I hardly think we need to be that formal, though."

"I read the paper you published," he said excitedly. "Only two years out of grad school and you're already making a name for yourself, huh?"

Harper flushed with embarrassment. "I don't know about that. My field of specialization was small before the Snap, so there's even less competition now. Plus, the Snap obviously opened up a lot of opportunity to delve into grief work so… Anyway, the piece is really pretty exploratory."

"Exploratory maybe, but a fantastic, logical follow up to your really fascinating dissertation. That kind of grief work with elderly veterans? It's great, and really important."

"Sounds like you have a type," Tony commented with a snarky grin.

"I do have pretty specific clinical interests, yes," Harper answered evenly.

"Tony, stop," Natasha pinned the man with a glare.

The man simply shrugged in an overly casual way. "I just find her connection to this group interesting."

Steve reappeared, pressing a mug of coffee into Harper's hands. She glanced at him, seeing the pinch of stress between his brows. Did Tony know he was hurting Steve, too? Did he not care because there was still animosity between them?

Voices floated down the hallway from the kitchen, which Steve thought was strange given the early hour. It had really only been a few hours before everyone had turned in for bed – the sun had barely begun to rise – so he thought he would surely be the first one up. He peered around the corner into the kitchen to see Tony and Harper sitting at the island together. The blond held back, unsure of whether he should interrupt since they didn't appear to be fighting.

"She seems like a sweet kid," Harper said kindly.

Tony nodded. "She's pretty much the sweetest."

He shifted, pocketing his phone. Harper waited a moment before saying, "Thank you for coming here despite having to leave your family behind."

"Well," Tony drawled with a dramatic sigh. "Imagine the bragging rights Morgan will have, daughter of the guy who basically invented real life time travel."

Harper chuckled and said, "Because being daughter of a billionaire philanthropist who has saved countless lives as Iron Man is simply not enough to brag about."

"So you are pretty smart."

"About some things."

They fell into silence which felt somewhat tense despite the neutral conversation they had been having. Steve had almost stepped forward into the room, but then Harper spoke up again.

"Tony, I understand that you don't have positive feelings toward me. I don't expect that to change. But is making barbs at me really making you feel any better?"

"Don't therapize me."

"I'm not. If I was therapizing you, I'd be more directly asking you about what utility you see in your verbal hostility toward me. Or about why you think you do it. But what I'm actually doing right now, and what I'm getting at, is to point out that it's not productive for the group. And your comments aren't just hurtful for me. They're hurtful for Steve."

The super soldier's chest clenched. He often felt guilty for how he had acted toward Harper when he was first getting to know her. She had proven herself time and time again to be exactly what Bucky had assured him she was: a kindhearted woman who gave herself to others without care for what she received herself. The young woman had offered her home to him when he was a fugitive, had offered her comfort after the Snap, had been such a solid, wonderful friend over the past five years. And now she was standing up for him against a man who was outwardly aggressive toward her in the interest of his feelings.

Tony opened his mouth to speak but Harper cut him off, "I don't know the details of what happened between you two. But I do know that he clearly still means something to you and you to him, and hurting each other isn't good for either of you. It's not good for the group, and it's not good for us meeting the goal of undoing what Thanos did. So I'm asking you to please at least refrain from making whatever comments you feel you need to make about James around him."

"How noble a request," Tony scoffed. After a moment, he added, "But I suppose for pragmatic purposes I can lay off making the Capsicle all melty."

"Thank you."

"In a lot of ways, I've accepted Manchurian Candidate, you know. I understand what happened, and I've turned away my resentment. These years with my family… I've found peace. Cliché as that is. But I still can't forgive that you've always been totally fine with screwing the guy who murdered my parents and so many others. He didn't have a choice, but you did."

"I'm glad you have found peace. You deserve it. But I will never apologize for loving James."

Steve's chest ached. Even if he hadn't already known, he certainly knew now that there was no better person out there for his best friend. He rubbed at his sternum absently, willing the tightness to go away. In its place, he was filled with renewed determination. This plan needed to work and he would do anything in his power to make it so. For everyone who lost someone, for the small family he had nestled into in these modern times, and to reunite his best friend who deserved to finally live his life with the selfless, loyal woman who loved him.

Harper knocked gently at the door to Steve's bedroom. It parted from the jamb slightly, revealing that the room within was dark and silent. She slipped inside the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

"Steve?" she called gently.

The blond man was sat at the edge of his bed, broad back facing her. He said nothing and didn't acknowledge her presence. However, he also didn't turn her away. She approached slowly, bare feet shuffling across the floor in the dark until she had walked around the bed and sat down beside him.

Faint light from the moon filtered in through his partially closed blinds. It was enough that now that her eyes had adjusted she could see his face. It was set in a tight, stony expression but for the pinch between his eyes and the slight tremble of his lower lip. Thin tear tracks glistened on his cheeks.

Harper knew that he didn't need or want words. Losing Natasha, one of the first people he had really connected with since waking up in the 21st century, had to be devastating. Kind words would do little to lighten the enormous load on his shoulders. Grief for a lifetime lost, so many people lost, and now another family member gone. Obligation to the world to fix things, to keep others from feeling the kind of pain he carried. It was heavy and it was hard.

Harper tucked the leg nearest him beneath her, scooting closer. Gently, she wrapped her arms around the blond. He allowed her to do so, and acquiesced when she coaxed him to lean into her side. Steve let out a shuddering exhale and laid his head on her shoulder. Her arms tightened, the baggy sleeves of James's thermal hanging off her form and wrapping around the soldier, too.

Struck by a thought, Harper extracted one arm, her fingers diving down the loose neckline of the shirt. Carefully, she tugged at the metal chain around her neck, pulling the dog tag she always wore into view. The metal was warm from the heat of her skin. She removed the chain from around her neck and pressed the tag into one of Steve's hands. His head moved on her shoulder as he glanced down. Realizing what he held, his fingers closed tightly around it.

They sat like that for a long time. The soldier didn't cry. He simply sat and absorbed her presence and her warmth, drawing comfort from the silence and the reminder of his best friend. Not for the first time, Harper thought about how cruel fate had been to him. James would probably know what to do much better, but she hoped that what she offered could be enough.

A/N: We've finally arrived at the cannon story! Fun fact: a big part of the reason I made the choice that Harper would work with older adult veterans is so that Tony could make a joke about her "type." Not a fantastic joke, but it tickled me and thus I made it so. There are a few other character development related reasons, but the joke was a big motivating factor. Make of that what you will. Regardless, thank you for the continued support!