Chapter Six

Secrets

"Who... who kissed you, Granger?"

Hermione gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

"What?"

Draco didn't reply, clenching his fists to control his tremors and trying to sit down on one root. His legs failed him and he collapsed on top of it.

'Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.'

"Shit, I'm pathetic," he muttered, covering his face with his hands.

He could feel the fury building inside him. His Veela side was livid, demanding revenge.

Someone had dared to kiss his mate and that person should pay for it with his life.

No, he couldn't transform in front of her when he was so angry. It would be too dangerous.

'Control yourself, for fuck's sake.'

Draco focused on his breathing, closing his eyes and feeling the air rush in and out of his lungs.

It was as if something was burning inside him.

"I thought you wouldn't feel anything if you weren't around," Hermione said softly.

She hadn't thought it could affect him so much. Otherwise, she never would have let Ron kiss her.

Draco swallowed, trying to breathe normally.

"I can smell it, there," he whispered, pointing a finger at her right cheek.

Her eyes went wide.

"What do you smell?"

"His saliva. It smells like him, like Weasley," Draco added, loosening his tie as if he was having trouble breathing.

It was horrible to see him like that, panting and shaking all over. Hermione walked over to him and crouched down at his side, holding one of his hands in hers.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It was just a goodbye kiss but I'll tell Ron not to do it again."

Draco blinked several times, averting his gaze and sighing. If she touched him the pain and anguish subsided, but his Veela blood still cried out for revenge.

"This helps, doesn't it?" Hermione asked, guessing his thoughts.

She traced circles over his knuckles and Draco closed his eyes.

"Yes," he admitted quietly, letting out another long sigh.

His body was relaxing but she still smelled of that stupid prat.

"It won't happen again, Draco. I'll be very careful until we find a solution."

Draco snorted reluctantly.

Solution... as if there was one.

"I... I can't..." he choked again, holding his hand to his throat.

It burned. Each breath was like a flame entering his lungs.

"Tell me what I can do. How can I help you?" Hermione asked, holding his hand tighter.

Draco looked away. He hated it when she looked at him like that.

"Don't pity me, Granger."

She scowled at him.

"It's not that. I'm worried and I want to help you."

He looked up again, searching her face. He needed that smell out of her as soon as possible.

"Wipe it off."

Hermione blinked several times in confusion. She let go of his hand and opened her handbag.

"I don't know if I have..."

"Here."

Draco was offering her a handkerchief he had just pulled out of his pocket. Hermione took it, moistened it with the tip of her wand and rubbed her cheek with it.

"Better?"

He took a slow breath and his face relaxed.

The bloody Weasley scent was no longer on her. Now it was coming from that disgusting handkerchief.

"Yes, much better."

Hermione sighed in relief. She held his hand again and the two of them stood in silence until the colour returned to Draco's face and his breathing normalised.

"Are you alright? We can stay here instead."

"No, I'm fine."

"Shall we go then?"

He nodded, carefully getting to his feet. Hermione followed him through the garden, glancing at the flowers curiously, and through the manor until they reached the fireplace.

They both entered the Floo Network together, appearing at the Leaky Cauldron a few seconds later.

They passed through the secret entrance to Diagon Alley silently, though Hermione was watching him out of the corner of her eye.

It scared her that he still felt weak, and she knew he was never going to admit it or ask for help if he needed it.

Most people were staring at them curiously, though a few of them shot Draco hateful glares.

Hermione moved closer to him, a frown on her face. He had been cleared of all charges and was innocent, he didn't deserve to be looked at like that.

"Does that coffee shop look good to you?" she said, pointing to a small one a few steps away.

He shrugged and the two of them sat down at one of the tables on the terrace where they could watch the sunset.

"You can sit closer, Draco," she commented as she saw that he was sitting right in front of her.

He shook his head.

"This is okay."

She cleared her throat.

"I've brought a summary of the draft I'm working on, but I don't know if you feel like reading it..."

"Not today," Draco interrupted, his voice raspy.

"That's fine," she agreed with a sigh.

The waiter approached them and they both ordered a large cup of black tea.

Once they had their drinks Hermione chewed on her lower lip nervously. She didn't know what they could talk about, she'd never been alone with him before.

Well, at the Ministry, but that had all been about his new status and the paperwork he had to do to register in the wizarding world as a half-Veela.

"You're always doing that, Granger."

She gasped in surprise. He wasn't even looking at her.

"Doing what?"

Draco stirred his cup with a spoon.

"Biting your lip when you're nervous."

"Not true."

He snorted, looking up.

"I've seen you do it a thousand times, ever since we entered Hogwarts."

Hermione narrowed her eyes.

"Were you watching me?"

It had always struck him that a girl could be as clever as he was, and even more so when he found out she was a Mudblood. But he didn't plan to tell her that.

"You have to keep your enemies close," Draco replied, arching his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes and he grinned.

Hermione rested her chin on one of her hands, changing the subject.

"I'm reading several books about Veelas, but so far I haven't found much information about the bond they have with their mates. Do you know if there are any books in your Manor's library that talk about that?"

Draco gritted his teeth, averting his gaze. That bloody know-it-all wasn't going to stop until she knew all his secrets.

"I haven't seen any."

Hermione sipped her tea, watching him carefully. He had that cold expression on his face again.

"You're occluding, aren't you?"

He glanced sideways at her for a second, returning his gaze to the wizards strolling down the alley with disinterest.

"No."

"Liar."

"So what if I am?"

"You look like a statue. Why don't you stop doing it when you're with me? You don't need to protect yourself, I'm here to help."

Draco snorted, laughing half-heartedly.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Granger."

"I do know. Snape taught Harry how to do it... well, he tried to teach him. And I've read a lot about it. Some wizards do it so they don't show what they're feeling, just what I think you're doing."

He stared at her, making Hermione shiver.

"I've been using Occlumency to protect myself and to control my emotions for years. And I intend to continue to do so, Granger."

She folded her arms.

"I don't like it. It's like talking to a piece of ice."

Draco raised an eyebrow.

"You want to know what would happen if I didn't control myself?"

"Yes."

"Well, I don't."

Hermione sighed, clutching her teacup in both hands.

"You're not going to hurt anyone, Draco."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"Please... stop doing it."

"No."

"Just try. I don't think anything bad is going to happen."

Draco closed his eyes, breathing in deeply as he slowly opened the corner of his mind where his emotions were hidden.

"I hope you don't regret it."

Hermione laughed.

"I'm not afraid of you."

When he opened his eyes again she saw a wild glint in them.

In less than a second, Draco had pulled at her chair with his foot until she was at his side. Hermione felt all the blood leave her face and her heart skipped a beat, startled by such a violent reaction.

He wrapped his arms around her and she gasped, freezing with her arms tight to her body. Draco buried his face in her curls, sighing deeply.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Forgive me," he whispered in her ear, breathing in her scent and not letting her go.

Hermione shuddered as she felt his fingers going down her back, but tried to relax.

"Forgive you for what?"

He ran his nose over her neck, pulling her tighter into his arms.

"For everything."

He kept murmuring apologies into her skin until Hermione reacted and pushed him hard.

They stared at each other for a moment, taking in what had just happened.

His eyes opened wide as he detected fear on her face. Draco pulled back, shaking his head and clenching his fists. He pushed his chair back until he was sitting opposite her again.

Hermione had a hand on her chest, her heart still racing. She wouldn't have expected that reaction from him in a million years.

"What... what happened?" she asked in confusion.

It took Draco a few seconds to reply. He straightened his back and, once he looked up at her, his grey eyes were cold again.

"Don't ask me to do that again," he hissed, lowering his gaze to his cup.

Hermione let out a shaky breath. Despite the shock, he had been very careful as he held her in his arms.

Half-humans were always stronger but Draco had controlled his movements enough not to hurt her. And she could still feel his warm breath in the crook of her shoulder.

"It had been... intense."

Draco narrowed his eyes but didn't answer.

"Why were you apologising?"

"Leave it, Granger."

"I want to know."

He ran a hand through his blond hair, tousling it.

"For... for insulting you for years, and for what happened at my house."

Hermione held her breath. Bellatrix's tortures.

"That wasn't your fault, Draco."

"Yes, it was. I could have done something and I just stared."

She shook her head.

"Your own aunt would have killed you, and then me. You did the right thing by not doing anything."

Draco clenched his jaw, clearly disagreeing.

"What happened that day after we managed to escape?" Hermione asked quietly.

He looked into her brown eyes for a moment, averting his gaze.

"The Dark Lord didn't take the news very well, as you can imagine."

Hermione blanched.

"Did he hurt you?"

Draco raised an eyebrow, lifting his cup to drink, and she snorted.

"You just love ignoring my questions, don't you?"

He gave her a smirk and she rolled her eyes.

"How about you let me ask the questions this time, Granger?" Draco asked, cocking his head to the side.

Hermione nodded and rested her arms on the table.

"Go ahead."

"Are you dating Weasley?"

"Why do you care?" she asked with a frown.

He folded his arms and waited.

"No, Draco. I'm not dating anyone."

"What about Potter?" he added, his eyes still fixed on her.

Hermione giggled.

"Harry is like my brother, and besides, he's dating Ginny. Where do you get these ideas?"

"I remember seeing you very interested in Weasley, and I heard a lot of rumours at school," he replied with a shrug.

She let out a long sigh.

"I had a crush on Ron for a couple of years... but that ended as soon as he started dating Lavender. And we've just been good friends ever since."

Draco nodded, running the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip as he thought.

"Are you in love with someone now?"

Hermione felt herself getting nervous again but she hid it by tucking an unruly strand of hair behind her ear. She glanced around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation.

"No."

Draco closed his eyes and sighed in relief.

"Can I ask you a favour, Granger?"

"Sure."

He leaned in across the table until their faces were inches apart.

"Don't date anyone for now."

"I wasn't planning on it. I know it would hurt you," Hermione replied, twisting her lips.

"Don't kiss anyone either, or let them kiss you."

"That much was clear to me after what happened earlier," she commented, referring to Draco's anxiety attack in the garden of his manor.

"And don't... don't sleep with anyone. That would kill me, Granger. If I smell that you've been with anyone, I... I think I'd die instantly."

Hermione was offended by his first words but a knot formed in her stomach as she listened to everything Draco said. She reached out, taking one of his hands and squeezing it.

"I'm not going anywhere near any man until we sort this out, Draco. I promise."

Draco nodded, leaning his back against the back of the chair and relaxing his posture.

"Thank you."

Hermione looked down at his cheeks, which had recovered a fair amount of colour. Spending some time together had been a good idea.

"Can I hug Harry?"

He wrinkled his nose.

"When I'm not around."

She smiled, nodding.

"Deal."

Draco ran his eyes over her face, pausing at the freckles on her nose. He looked away, sniffling and wondering if it was all worth it.

He was only delaying the inevitable. She didn't want to be with him, Granger hadn't even considered the option. All she had in mind was to find an alternative, some way for him to survive without them having to share their lives.

And Draco knew that option didn't exist.

He would die eventually, and painfully. Though he had bought himself some time and he could spend several months keeping his mother company.

He would do it, for Narcissa's sake. He would continue this charade for her until his time came.

"What about you, Draco? Are you in love?"

His breath caught at her question and he glanced down at what little was left of his tea.

"No."

"And have you ever been?"

He shook his head, hearing her sigh.

"I thought that you... I saw you with... with..."

"With Daphne. Yes, Granger, I was with her in sixth year. Her parents wanted us to get married after Hogwarts, though mine didn't agree for obvious reasons. She asked me to try it out, to see if we might be compatible, and we dated for a couple of months," Draco murmured, remembering how much of a distraction Daphne had been to him in the worst year of his life.

"What? She wanted to marry you just because her parents said so?" Hermione asked, her eyes widening in shock.

Draco smirked.

"Marriage contracts are a common thing among pureblood families. But my parents refused, they knew I couldn't commit to anyone until I knew who..."

Draco paused, a frown appearing on his face.

"Until you knew who your mate was?" she finished, raising her eyebrows.

He nodded, pushing his mug aside.

Hermione nibbled on her bottom lip, stopping when she saw him arch an eyebrow in her direction.

"I'm sure you were hoping for someone like Daphne to be your mate."

"That would have made things a lot easier. But Astoria wanted me to date her the next year. Apparently, she'd been in love with me ever since she saw me and she'd fallen out with her sister when she found out we had been together. I refused, and neither of the Greengrass sisters has spoken to me since."

Hermione nodded, ignoring the small pressure she had felt in her chest at hearing he would have preferred another mate. She knew he didn't want her around, though at least he didn't hate her anymore.

"Will you let me have a look in your library? Maybe the solution to our problem is in there," she asked, clasping her hands together and looking him in the eye.

He bit down on his tongue but agreed.

"There are over twenty thousand books in the Malfoy library, Granger."

"Have your family read them all?" she asked, impressed.

Draco chuckled, shaking his head.

"It's impossible, there are too many. But I've never seen one that talks about what you're looking for."

"Still... I'd like to see those books if you don't mind."

"As you wish," Draco replied with a shrug.

Soon after, Hermione reappeared in the entrance hall of Malfoy Manor with Draco at her side.

"Tomorrow at the same time?"

He nodded, taking several steps back.

In the corner of the room stood his mother. Hermione looked at her, reading a thank you on her lips.

Narcissa approached her son as soon as she disappeared back into the green flames.

"How did it go?"

"Worse than I expected, Mother."

"You look better," she murmured, watching his face closely.

He squared his shoulders, looking down into his mother's blue eyes.

"You need to explain to me what the hell you were doing in court surrounded by Weasels."

She smiled and clung to his arm.

"We need a drink for that conversation."