Written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)

A4 Alchemy - Task 3 - Write about someone with a notable reputation

Auction: Day 23, Auction 4 - Sirius/Marlene

W/C: 2,558

Summary: The Marauders are graduating Hogwarts. Sirius knows his future is very uncertain, but he's sure of one thing – it's time to tell Marlene how he feels.

A/N: I'm very sorry for how poorly beta-ed my fics are lately. Please do bear with me. I'll fix them at some point.

Get together with a friend or two

Sirius leant heavily on the metal railing that surrounded the Astronomy Tower, watching the parents gathering on the large space of grass by the Black Lake. They looked like ants and their voices sounded so small. Of course, his parents wouldn't be there, but he could see the Potters; the familiar messy black hair of Fleamont right there in the middle with Euphemia, her brightly coloured clothes always made her easy to find.

"I can't believe you're going through with this. McGonagall is going to kill you all," Lily said. Sirius didn't need to look to know she was smiling. Always indulging them these days.

It had been a last minute idea between Sirius, James, Remus and Peter – to dye their hair in outrageous colours. The shocking pink curls of Sirius' own hair still surprised him when some of it would fall into his eyes as he leant forward a little more to look all the way to the ground. James had gone for green in an attempt to goad the Slytherins; whether it would work remained to be seen. Peter had decided on a dark green, because he always copied James, or followed as closely as possible. And Remus had settled for indigo, always ready to join in, but nothing too attention-grabbing; he never did like to be watched.

"Hey, Lily! Change my hair," Mary said breathlessly. Sirius laughed to himself. Mary was the quiet one. The dependable one who always had a hug for everyone without asking them any questions. It was no surprised she sounded like she was about to jump off the tower at the idea of changing her hair colour. "I want it blue."

Jumping… Sirius suddenly had an urge to just… jump. Off the tower. Not to die, but to feel something more overwhelming than the idea of leaving Hogwarts. What was he going to do with himself? Before he knew what he was doing, he was climbing the railing, using the brick pillar to his left to keep his balance.

"Padfoot, don't mess around," Remus called out immediately.

"Prongs! Keep me steady, will you?" Sirius asked over his shoulder, not quite taking his eyes off the ground. It was so far away. His heart started racing, his body reacting to the fear of what might happen if he let go of the wall. His smart, black boots were slipping against the railing.

"Don't be an idiot! Get down," James instructed, no humour in his voice.

"Sirius!" Marlene's voice called. He'd always liked Marlene's voice. It was low, husky… full of wicked secrets and happy memories. "Stop it! You're scaring people!"

That got through to him. Marlene always had that kind of magic over him.

She never knew it though. Why would he tell her? She's only reject him.

Sirius jumped down, turning in the air as he did, and grinned, his arms stretched out like he was presenting himself.

Lily, the closest person to him, shoved him hard in the shoulder. "You really are stupid in every aspect of the world!"

Sirius laughed, throwing an arm around her and pulling her tightly into him. "And yet, you still love me!"

Lily laughed in return. She pinched his waist, knowing he was ticklish there, and moved quickly to James before he could retaliate. She continued to giggle as she hid behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and peering over James' shoulder, mischief in her green eyes. Sirius wasn't sure he'd ever seen his best friend so blissfully happy.

"Sleep with one eye open, Evans," Sirius warned. He pulled his wand out of the back pocket of his trousers, twirling it between his fingers as he brought it round in front of him. "Accio." He pointed it at a bottle of Butterbeer, a pile of them sat by the entrance to the tower.

He snatched it out of the air as he shoved the wand back into his pocket, flicked the lid off with his thumb and raised the bottle to his group of friends. This was their last hurrah as group before graduating. "Let's rock this joint."

Sirius caught Marlene's gaze. Her eyes flicked up to his hair for a moment. "Not going to join in?" He pointed the top of his bottle at Mary. "Look how beautiful Mary looks with that delightful blue!"

Marlene rolled her eyes. She never did bite when he tried to goad her. She was always so… laidback. Even in the times where she fought back. Her comments rolled off her tongue, like she had a stockpile of them whenever she was done with the world's problems.

Sirius sidled over to her, her perfume was different for the occasion, it was delightfully sweet, like apples, and he was hooked already. He tipped his head forward, his shoulder-length curls falling forward, covering his sight. "You can touch it if you like, I won't complain."

She did something he wasn't expecting. With gentle hands, standing on her tiptoes with him being a whole foot taller than her, Marlene reached up and tied his hair into a messy bun with a hair tie off her wrist. Their friends, who were chattering excitedly over each other about summer plans, paid them no attention, and Sirius couldn't hear them if they tried.

He met her green eyes, so much lighter than Lily's, feeling himself frown as Marlene sank back down so her feet were flat on the floor once more. She watched him, searched his soul – or so it felt like it – and said, "Stop hiding your eyes."

"Come on," James' voice cut into anything Sirius might have said. "McGonagall will definitely kill us if we're late."

They reached the Entrance Hall practically bouncing off each other, feeding off each other's excitement, and came to a standstill at the doors when McGonagall appeared. Her lips went into a thin line, her eyes slowly moving over their hair. She paused on Mary. "I know that's your doing, Mr Black."

"I promised I would be an extraordinary influence on all my friends, did I not, Professor?"

"Quite," she said through tight lips, a smile in her eyes. "Get to your seats."

An hour later, after a number of speeches, they had officially graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The parents applauded and students hugged each other with bittersweet tears.

Fleamont and Euphemia found James and Sirius immediately. It was hard not to with the hair colour they were sporting. "We're so proud of both of you," Fleamont said, clapping Sirius on the shoulder with a genuine look of pride in his eyes for the son Sirius had become to him.

Still, even with all the praise and kind words, Sirius found himself looking around for his parents. Not even Regulus had come from inside the castle to watch him graduate. He wasn't surprised, but it didn't stop the sting he felt in his heart.

As he looked around at the large gathering, he could see the divide that happening amongst the students who were no longer students. Slytherins huddled together, making sure not to be near anyone that might even look like they were Muggles or Muggle-born. Sirius had thought it was bad when he was a boy, but with Voldemort's notoriety and following growing with each passing month, it was clear the worst was yet to come.

A familiar shade of blonde hair caught Sirius' eye, disappearing down a path that led to the greenhouses. He wasted no time in excusing himself from his friends and going after Marlene. So many times he'd seen her sneak away from a crowd – sometimes the amount of people was too much, draining her of energy – and Sirius had never followed her. He'd made sure no one else did so that she could have the time to recharge; she would always come back with new vigour and ready to verbally battle with him. This was his last chance to speak his truth to her.

By the time Sirius had followed her into greenhouse two, Marlene was already sat on one of the large, wooden tables they did the potting on. Her hands were tucked under thighs and her feet swung backwards and forwards, her head down, watching the movement.

"Everything okay?" he asked, sliding the door shut. He stayed put for a moment, waiting for the okay to join her at the table.

"I suppose," she eventually said. She pulled her hands from under her legs, brushing dirt off her palms by rubbing them on the dress she was wearing. "Overwhelmed."

That one word said so much.

"Me too," he admitted, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets.

"You are?" The surprised was evident in her voice. Her back straightened and her head tilted, it made her blonde hair look longer like that, the way it fell over her shoulder. "Since when?"

Sirius took that as his signal he could join Marlene on the table. He hopped up, using one hand to balance himself as he did, making sure to keep a little room between them. It didn't stop that perfume from getting past the smell of dirt and damp wood though.

He took a deep breath. The words weren't ready when he let it go. He tried one more time. "All the time," he whispered, grinning so she wouldn't know how exposed he suddenly felt.

Marlene matched his grin. It caused a little wrinkle on the bridge of her freckle-covered nose. He bet those wrinkles would darken over the summer when she would inevitably spend time in her garden; she loved Herbology. Of course, she came to the greenhouse to recover some energy.

Her smile faded and her green eyes lost their sparkle. "I'm sorry they weren't here, Sirius," she said. He flinched a little when a warm hand landed on his. He immediately looked to it, feeling heat rise up in his neck. "I know I've given you a hard time over the years, but I would give anything for you to have the family I have."

Sirius swallowed against his dry throat, his eyes still on their connected hands. "Not a surprise really," he said. He could hear the pain in his voice and he hated it.

The hand was gone and his own felt cold. When he lifted his head to look at her, Marlene was looking around at the various plants. "I'm going to miss how safe I feel here."

"We'll be fine, Marlene. I promise. As long as we keep doing what we believe is right."

It was funny how they all kept reassuring one another – promising each other – that they would all be okay. That they would be safe. Yet no one would actually acknowledge the fear of what lay outside the walls of Hogwarts without Dumbledore to protect them all the time.

"I hate this feeling." She let go of a heavy breath, like tension was building up in her and she couldn't shake it off. "I feel like I'm drowning in thoughts of the future, picturing all the worst things that can possibly happen."

"The feeling of drowning is not a fun one." Sirius sniggered at his own stupid words.

Marlene looked at him with a confused frown, disbelief at what he'd said. "I mean, people don't exactly do it for fun, you idiot," she said with a smirk.

Sirius gave her a soft body nudge. "There she. Marlene the Sirius Ball-Buster."

Marlene shook her head, affection in her eyes. Or was it pity? Sirius could never tell the two apart. That's why he never let anyone near, because what if he mistook pity for affection? He'd had enough rejection from his family, he didn't need it from anyone else.

"All the things that worry me," she said, reaching to tuck that stray curl that had fallen out of the bun behind his ear, "are nothing to how much I hate that you keep these walls around you. Even from your best friend."

Sirius grabbed her hand before she could take it back. He held it to his chest. His heart was beating hard, surely she could feel it through her palm. "You must know that you have the power to take them down… don't you?"

A croak left Marlene. A word that wasn't quite a word, but more of an emotion; surprise. "Sirius… you always kept me at arm's length – I thought I annoyed you – I thought you only enjoyed getting on my nerves because you liked to see me so flustered!" She pulled her hand from his and slapped his arm. He laughed as he tried to avoid another slap by practically lying on the table, his white shirt definitely getting dirty. "In what world would I ever know this was what you felt?"

Then she stopped her assault and narrowed her eyes. "Are you playing a prank? Is this what it is?"

Sirius immediately stopped laughing, shaking his head. "No! I would never—"

"I thought you were gay!"

"I am – well, I'm bi!"

They both stared at the other, eyes wide at the revelations being said in the greenhouse.

Sirius cough, a crooked grin on his lips. "To be fair, me and James will probably end up getting married in about fifteen years."

Marlene laughed. "Probably sooner if Lily can't handle having a third person in their relationship."

And once again, the laughter and smiles disappeared swiftly.

"Sirius, I—"

"Don't say it," he cut her off in a whisper. "I'm no good at hearing rejection."

"Oh honestly, Black. Read the room!" Marlene pulled at the thin tie he was wearing that was hanging loose around his neck and planted her lips firmly on his.

Sirius didn't need anymore words. He pulled her close, his arms tight around her waist, her arms around his neck, and put all two years of wishing he could do this into that kiss. She moaned and he tightened his grip, his tongue traced her bottom lip but she pulled her head back before the kiss could deepen.

Marlene leant her forehead on his, both of them breathing heavy. He closed his eyes, holding onto that moment, so it would always be there, whatever the future held for them.

"You're kind of alright, Sirius Black," she whispered.

He opened his eyes, lifting his head. A light was coming through the window, the sun finally breaking through the grey clouds that had hung over their graduation, and it made her hair look golden. "Yes, well, I'll be honest – I'm alright with me."

She pinched the back of his neck and he yelped, jumping off the table and away from her.

Then he turned back, it felt like time had frozen, and he was back on the Astronomy Tower, balancing on the metal railing. Did he jump or did he climb back down to safety?

Sirius held his hand out to her. Marlene smiled and took it, letting him help her off the table.

"I'll always catch you, you know?" she said.

It felt like Marlene had sucked the breath out of his body with that one comment. How could she have known that he felt like he was falling and no one could stop him.

She tugged at his hand, bringing him back to the here and now. "Come on. We've got a summer to plan."