merry christmas eve eve! im officially on xmas break as of yesterday, so I made a point to finish this up and serve it up for you guys as soon as I could!
there are some 'changes', so to speak, as I realised that i'd written myself into a corner and my writing would've placed Sakura dangerously close to the mary-sue category if i'd continued as I had been. so few things were scrapped, and ta-da!
also, I apologise for another monster chapter, but since starting this story I've realised that I've become incapable of writing scenes shorter than 2k. so although this only really has about 4 key scenes, its still +10k words.

p.s. to those who were saying Sakura has had it too easy up till now - here's where shit hits the metaphorical fan. hope u like suffering cause you're about to get some~!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!

Two weeks passed since the confrontation with the chunin in the Jounin HQ; two incredibly busy, stimulating yet exhausting weeks. Between T&I, shifts at the hospital and working with Genma, Sakura had her hands full almost non-stop. She was also frustrated, because she kept running into the same problem over and over and over again at the hospital - she couldn't figure out how to sync up her chakra wavelength to that of her patient, so she kept ending up with fish with boiled internal organs or birds with fried nervous systems. Overall, she was tired, frustrated, and overworked, and the moment she got home, she would curl up on the sofa and either chat with Genma or, if he was on a mission, fall straight asleep.

So it was with no small amount of surprise when, one day, she greeted Anko at her doorstep when the woman popped by her house in evening, a maniac grin on her face.

"Back your bags, pinky, the old man gave us a mission!" she announced, almost bouncing on the spot. Over time, the rosette had realized that Anko had absolutely no respect for authority when not looking them in the eye, and had rather creative insults and nicknames for each of them. This particular one was code for Morino Ibiki, and Sakura, knowing the sort of mission the man was renowned for assigning, wondered why exactly her senpai was so excited. Then, she clued in to the fact that just as she had not been out of the Village since starting her studies under Tsunade, Anko had also been Village-bound since the rosette had been assigned as her student. Suddenly, her excitement was no longer all that surprising.

Still, something bugged her and she frowned. "I'm not allowed to leave the Village for another two months." She reminded her senpai, getting a careless shrug in response.

"'Cause it's a part of your apprenticeship, the Godaime gave it the green light." She divulged, then poked Sakura's cheek. "Now c'mon, be more enthusiastic! Your amazing senpai got you a ticket out of the Village!"

Rubbing her cheek in annoyance – Anko had used chakra in the poke and it stung – Sakura offered the woman a glare. "Why, thank you, oh amazing one." She snarked, getting a smack to the back of her head in response which she was too slow to dodge. "When are we leaving?" she asked instead, trying to dial back her attitude (she was tired, damn it, and this whole ordeal was taking precious seconds out of the small period of time a day she had to just relax.)

"Tomorrow morning! I expect you at the Gates by 6 o'clock sharp! Pack for at least a week!" and then Anko was off, and Sakura was left staring at the place the jounin had stood in wonder, before she snorted and shut the door.

Not thinking much beyond setting an alarm for five o'clock the next day, she bid Genma goodnight and collapsed in bed. She was out in a matter of seconds.

Once the shrill call of her alarm forced her to get out of bed, she packed her bags, made sure her scrolls and medical kit were in place, grabbed a breakfast bar and was almost out the door before she stopped to scribble Genma a quick note – 'Mission with Anko, don't know when I'll be back. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.' She topped it off with a cute doodle and then she was off.

When she arrived at the Gates, a whole fifteen minutes before she was supposed to, she found Anko already there, along with a tall, unfamiliar blond who waited behind her.

"Morning, senpai." She greeted hesitantly, then asked something that had been bothering her ever since she woke up. "What actually is our mission, by the way?" she noted the mysterious blond stiffened in surprise at her words, but Sakura had long gotten used to following the 'obey and ask questions later' work ethic wherever Anko was concerned. The woman in question merely grinned.

"One of the subjects we interrogated revealed that there was an Iwagakure base near the border between Iwa and Kusa. He also said that it's the one that their resistance movement used, so Ibiki reasoned that we can find info about Iwagakure's future movement in regards to Konoha there." She explained, and Sakura nodded, accepting the reasoning. It made sense, although she did wander what strings Anko must've pulled to get her to tag along on this mission.

But the jounin was still talking; "Tamaki over here," she gestured over to the slim blond beside her, who flashed Sakura a cheery wave and a small grin, and the rosette couldn't help her responding grin back, nor the slight blush that rose to her cheeks, "is our 'reinforcement' as apparently, Ibiki doesn't think I'm capable of looking after your frail ass."

Ah, there it is. Sakura thought smugly. So this mission was more of a test for Anko than any favor from the Head of T&I. Really, she should've expected that.

The pinkette nodded again, then turned to face their third member. He was tall, and slim, and although his features leaned more onto the feminine side, there was a certain sharpness to his face and gaze that pieced together into something that made warmth bloom in Sakura's stomach. When she decided that staring any longer would've been impolite, she smiled kindly and bowed. "I'm Haruno Sakura, Tamaki-san. I'll be in your care." When she straightened, she noted that the grin on his face had shrunk into something smaller but far more genuine than before, and Sakura tried her hardest to ignore the little voice in her head that whispered 'he's pretty' – instead, she focused on his words.

"I look forward to it." He murmured, then reached out and lightly grazed her elbow with his fingers. "Pleased to meet you too, Sakura-san." And judging by Anko's amused chortle, her blush wasn't quite as subtle as she wished it to be.

But they set off regardless, travelling in relative silence, broken every once in a while with short breaks where Anko consulted the map. It was also during these breaks that Sakura learnt that their blond companion was an accomplished jounin, that his genin team had all been KIA and that he dreamed of being a poison master, of all things. She also noted the strange habit that Tamaki seemed to have, where every time they paused or stopped for a break, he ran his finger down the bark of a random tree in a short, about five-inch long line. When Sakura got over her nerves to actually ask him about it, he merely shot her that disarming grin of his and explained;

"When I draw my finger down, I also inject some of my chakra into the bark." He told her in a tone that implied he was imparting some big secret. Sakura unconsciously leaned in closer to listen. "I'm part of the Sensor Division, which is also why Morino-san enlisted me for this mission; my abilities will help with locating the exact whereabouts of the base. In regards to the habit, well… we have this… tradition of sorts, in the Division, that with every mission, we mark our trail, almost like breadcrumbs, on trees, so if something were to go awry, retrieval would be that much easier." Sakura stared up at him, surprised but also slightly awed, before the meaning of his words fully registered and she frowned.

"You think something is going to go awry?" she questioned, and nearly jumped when he let out a startled laugh.

"Not necessarily, although it is Iwagakure we're going to be dealing with, so I think it's better to be safe than sorry." He admitted, and Sakura nodded along, then, not quite willing to let the conversation drop just yet, she frantically searched for another thing to say.

"Have you had many dealings with Iwagakure shinobi then?" and she nearly groaned out loud at the question, but Tamaki merely looked amused.

"I actually did my Chunin Exams in Iwa, but that was over four years ago and I was still a genin then, so I guess I was a lot more impressionable. If asked what I learnt though, I would probably just say 'never trust an Iwa-nin'. Does that answer your question?" he asked, and though his tone never changed, Sakura got the distinct impression that he was teasing her.

She was about to nod and thank him, then stopped, ran through a bit of mental maths and narrowed her eyes. "You were a genin four years ago? But… wait…" she felt her eyes widen and noted the way Tamaki's eyes twinkled with mirth at her obvious befuddlement. "Just how old are you?" she blurted out before she could stop herself, then slapped a hand over her mouth in mortification.

But Tamaki merely chuckled and took it in stride. "Nearly seventeen." He responded easily, and Sakura's jaw dropped.

He looks way older! She cried inwardly, just as a part of her mind she hadn't addressed since she'd stopped thinking of Sasuke in a romantic way cheered; shannaro! I still have a chance!

Embarrassed by her own thought process, Sakura scrambled for an appropriate reply, then had to settle for a stammered, "I-I thought you were older. Like, a l-lot older." To her utter surprise, the blond snorted, the first graceless, unguarded act she'd seen him make.

"Well, since we're being honest, I've got to admit, that with the way you look and your record, I initially thought you were my age." Then, to Sakura's utter shock, he picked up a lock of her hair and idly twirled it around his finger. "Then I realized that there's no way I would've missed someone like you in the Academy."

Sakura froze.

And then, she felt her face burn.

She was absolutely certain that her cheeks now matched the colour of her old quipao dress, and she was completely incapable of stopping her reaction. If she didn't know otherwise, she'd have said Tamaki was- that he was-

"Oi, kids, if you're done flirting, we should get back on the road!" Anko snapped at them from the other side of the clearing, and Sakura would forever deny the squeak that left her mouth as she scurried over to her senpai, staying as far away from Tamaki as she was able without attracting any more attention to just how flustered she was. Judging by Anko's sly, knowing smirk, she was going to get teased to hell and back once they were back in Konoha.

By the evening of their first day on the road, she had gotten over her embarrassment enough to dare striking up conversation again, and she was relieved to note that Tamaki didn't seem to think any less of her for her reaction. Though Sakura made sure they didn't get close enough to each other physically for him to be able to repeat that move again, she felt as though they had definitely gotten to know each other a lot more. When they located the base, Tamaki pronounced that there were only five ninja in there, and they all seemed to be on rotating guard shifts by the entrance. Anko's declaration that they were in for a few days at least of stakeout to work out the best timing to infiltrate was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because Sakura had grudgingly accepted that she might be developing a fledgling crush on her blond teammate, and a curse because, well. She was crushing on her older, male teammate.

But in the end she knew that acting on those feelings so early on would've not only been unprofessional, as they were still on the job, but also very, very daring of her. Luckily, she didn't have long to despair – towards the end of their second day of stakeout, and the fourth day of the mission overall, Anko announced that they were going in.

Chakra cloaked and concentrating on the camouflage genjutsu she'd thrown over the three of them, Sakura waited for the moment they were close enough and weaved the strongest genjutsu in her arsenal on the guard. She was thankful that Tamaki had the foresight to quickly catch the nin before he could hit the floor and alert those inside, then winced when he swiftly slit his throat. Anko eyed them bemusedly, but merely nodded and flashed through the seals she'd observed the guards making when they had to access the hideout; before Sakura's eyes, what had previously been a rocky cliff transformed into a neat, square entryway, which Anko didn't hesitate to step through, followed by Sakura and Tamaki.

But then, the gate slammed shut behind them, and in the utter darkness that enveloped them, Sakura could just about hear Tamaki's startled intake of breath, followed by a panicked spike of chakra and a curse. "Fuck!" he swore, reaching out frantically, fingers closing around Sakura's shoulder in a bruising grip as he tried to explain, "It's a trap, there's more of them, there must've been some suppressant jutsu on the walls there's at least a dozen-!" and then, a brilliantly-timed flash of light from a Raiton jutsu illuminated the cave enough for Sakura to see a split-second of over ten grinning, savage-looking faces that surrounded them in a semi-circle, before she was being forcefully yanked aside from the path of a crude, albeit airborne version of Kakashi's Chidori.

The rest was hell.

The Iwa-nin's attack had been powerful enough to breach the barrier of solid rock and let in a shaft of light, enough for Sakura to realise that Anko and Tamaki were both fighting five shinobi each and that there were three heading straight for her, blades and teeth glinting ominously in the scarce light. A break in the commotion allowed Sakura to glimpse Anko pulling away from her attackers and hear her frantic yell; "They're after the mission scroll!"

And then, it clicked in Sakura's mind. The Iwa-nin who'd given them the coordinates for this hideout must've intentionally led them into a trap, but for the interrogators to take his word as the truth, he'd have first had to feed them some legitimate info on Iwagakure's movements and plans. This elaborately set up trap that they'd stumbled into must've been a failsafe of ensuring that there would be no proof of anything they'd managed to extract, since most of the information was contained within the mission scroll that Anko had on her person.

It was more instinct that sight that allowed Sakura to catch something hurtling towards her face; the shaft of light caught the steely but determined expression on her senpai's face as she snapped, "Take it and run!" just as snakes erupted from her sleeves and dug their teeth into various body parts of their enemies. Sakura only took a moment to compose herself and hear Anko's last, frantic "Run!" before she turned on her heel and fled deeper into what she now realized was a maze of corridors and underground passages.

She could hear the sound of pursuit even after she managed to move away from the main battle, and a hasty glance back let her glimpse the silhouettes of six shinobi who'd managed to escape Anko's snakes and were currently on her tail. Still running, she sacrificed the slightest bit of speed to flash through the handsigns for the Hell Viewing technique. She heard more than saw one slow down, but the rest persisted, and one even laughed derisively. "You can't use something so impersonal and hope it'll affect us!" he jeered, and Sakura felt the cold claws of panic squeeze around her heart.

Then, she almost stumbled when one nin appeared in front of her, rising out of the ground before her and swinging his sword in what would've undoubtedly been a decapitating blow had she not ducked. In that moment, Sakura was brutally reminded that Iwagakure shinobi were ninja who were used to this setting, and tunnels and thoughtless Doton manipulation was in their blood. Not seeing a way of going past the man other than fighting, she unsheathed her daito and darted towards him, but only managed a glancing wound down his arm before another nin snuck up to her and knocked her blade out of her hands.

Cursing when she realized there wasn't enough room to unroll the storage scroll which held all her weapons, Sakura was left with the unpleasant realization that she'd have to rely on her hand-to-hand combat. She managed to twirl out of the way of a side-kick from the second nin, but the sharp, almost debilitating pain of a barrage of shuriken embedding themselves in her back made her freeze and bend over in pain, before she bit her lip and barreled onwards because, more than even her need to be able to see her attackers, she needed space.

In a move which she wouldn't have ever performed otherwise, she pumped chakra into her legs and took advantage of the high ceilings of the tunnels by jumping over her attackers, and using the time when she was airborne to flash through the seals for the Temple of Nirvana. She felt viciously victorious when she heard two telltale thumps and realized that one of the ninja the closest to her was caught. Sakura didn't hesitate: panic giving her movements an almost animalistic edge, she darted over to the fallen nin and stamped on his trachea, feeling the cartilage give and collapse beneath her foot.

Five to go, she thought grimly.

And then, two were onto her, anger giving them an edge they hadn't shown before, and the rosette screamed when one of them swung an urumi, and, unable to dodge, Sakura felt it dig into her side so viciously her vision blacked out for a second.

Barreling on despite the pain, she threw two smokebombs on the ground and jumped to cling to the ceiling, muffling her cry of pain when the landing jarred her torn side. She squinted and saw one of the silhouettes separate from the group in an attempt to escape the smoke, and she didn't think, didn't try to calculate, just jumped down to land in front of him, and, taking advantage of his momentary confusion as he tried to identify her, darted into his personal space and chopped at the delicate skin underneath his Adam's apple with the side of her hand. He gasped, hands flying to his throat, and Sakura used that moment of vulnerability to dig out a kunai and slash, first over his eyes, then a vicious, jagged tear from his bellybutton to where the cartilage of his lower sternal region stopped her knife's path. She let the kunai go and watched the nin topple to the ground, knowing that if not shock, then the bloodloss would surely kill him.

Four left.

Then, she felt a familiar chakra signature draw close and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt two of her pursuers turn to deal with Tamaki, who'd appeared on the other end of the corridor from her.

Suddenly though, the terrain was shifting, the smoke from her smokebomb dispersing as air flow was allowed into the cave, and with it a single ray of light. Enough light, at least, to illuminate her position and give the enemy ninja an opening. Gritting her teeth, Sakura pulled out two kunai and turned on her heel towards the other two, blocking and ducking under the punches and weapons of the ninja around her. But a treacherous part of her mind whispered what she had already realized; she was slowing down.

Inwardly, Sakura cursed. She'd never had to fight in such a confined space, with so many people at once.

Against Ino, she'd hardly broken a sweat, ending the fight before the other could even properly react.

With Temari, despite the other kunoichi's clearly superior overall skill, there were still moments where she was allowed a breather, and it hadn't all been intensive combat. Not to mention that the arena was far wider than the two metre wide by three metre tall corridor she was currently stuck in.

In her spars against Izumo and Kotetsu, she always had the space to maneuver, to run or to retreat.

But here? Nothing of the like.

And just like that, Sakura was struck by the realisation that she'd severely miscalculated. She'd tried to do too many things at once, never having a strong foundation to fall back on to begin with. She was confident in her genjutsu, but that was only because it was good enough to trap genin and a handful of chunin, but the only times she'd trapped Genma or Anko had been when they were fatigued, unwilling to break it or not expecting it. But these men, these ninja she was fighting were hardened, high-level shinobi, and Sakura knew that her genjutsu wouldn't be something she could wholeheartedly depend on.

Same with her bukijutsu, which was passable in spars against the Twins, but here, she didn't have the space that was necessary for that particular type of combat to work.

All she had was taijutsu and she knew that was not going to end well – her taijutsu from the start had been appalling, first because her vanity stopped her from actually putting in the effort because 'Sasuke-kun doesn't like sweaty girls', then because she'd convinced herself that she wouldn't need it after Genma appeared in her life.

But as a rock-hard fist impacted her nose so hard that she saw stars, and she stumbled back, a cry of pain falling from her lips, Sakura came to the alarming realisation that there was a very high possibility she'd die here.

A primal, uncontrollable instinct to survive took over her and motivated her to ignore the pain, to use her training to its fullest and live another day. She chanced a glance back in Tamaki's direction, startled to see him produce a fireball that caught one of his enemy's clothes and set it alight, punctuated with the man's gasps and pained screams as he turned to run away, getting a kunai to the back of his head for his troubles. The light from the fire cast shadows on Tamaki's face, making him look far more ethereal than Sakura thought possible, and definitely a far cry better than her own state. Almost as if he sensed her gaze on him, the blond turned towards her, the relief in his eyes at seeing that she was still reasonably alright overshadowed by the urgency in his gaze. "Sakura, run!" he called out, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she turned and saw that the two nin fighting her turned to look back at her comrade.

But the breath of relief caught in her throat and turned into a scream when suddenly, a spear of earth shot out of the walls, coiling like a snake before it flew towards Tamaki and separated into four thinner ones, each sharpening into a deadly point and piercing straight through the blond's chest, stomach and sides. She didn't have to be a qualified med-nin to know that all of them were aimed at internal organs. She saw a moment of comprehension in Tamaki's eyes, before they dimmed and he slumped to the ground, unconscious or dead, she didn't know.

Sakura felt bile come up her throat but she swallowed, ignoring the burn, then turned on her heel and bolted, for the second time that day.

She ran faster than she ever had before, ran blindly both due to the dark and the tears blurring her vision. She was no longer mindful of the chakra she was expending as she augmented her muscles and called up illusion after illusion, hoping to, if not trap, then at least slow down her pursuers.

And then, her foot caught, making her stumble and come to a stop. Resigning herself to her fate, Sakura turned around, used the precious few seconds she had gained to summon her weapons scroll, and drew out two kodachi. Not a second after she settled in her stance did the first of the ninja break out from the darkness, his eyes wide and disoriented. Sakura didn't wait, didn't think, she just jumped – the sharp edges of her kodachi found the delicate patch of unprotected neck and she slashed it brutally, opening the main artery and letting the man drop to the ground with a dull thud. She channelled chakra into her feet and kicked him in the head for good measure.

The second Iwa-nin rounded the corner in a much more cautious manner, and though Sakura knew that there was another one still to come, she could no longer count on the element of surprise. So she assessed her chakra levels, ruled out Earth Style ninjutsu and made her biggest gamble yet: flashing through handsigns she was only familiar with in theory, she took a deep breath and exhaled. Her chakra manifested in the form of clear, viscous syrup, far less than she knew Izumo to be capable of, but enough to trap her opponent nonetheless.

Then, in perhaps the stupidest move of the day, she threw a handful of kunai towards the man, and when she noted him raising his own kunai to deflect them, she curled her kodachi-wielding arm inwards and then, with a flick of chakra, released it.

The rotation of her weapon was violent enough to cut the man's torso cleanly off from his legs.

By that point, the panic and fear and anger and grief had eclipsed her ability to feel disgust or guilt, so she didn't even jump when she felt the last chakra signature emerge from one of the walls.

Despite the dark, Sakura thought she saw the man glance at his fallen comrades, then his attention was on her and the rosette bristled at what came from his mouth.

"Huh." He mused, and in the back of her mind, Sakura realised that she'd heard this kind of amusedly detached tone before. "Seems that even mice will bite when cornered." He observed, and the rosette snarled.

"Now, now," he waved her off. "you've already lost a teammate, and you're clearly tired. Just hand over the scroll, and I'll even show you the way out of these tunnels." He crooned, extending a hand and wiggling his fingers expectantly. Sakura's response was to take two steps back, mind frantically searching for a solution to an open one on one.

She kept drawing a blank.

Unless...

She tried to inconspicuously dig through her weapons scroll, her fingers closing around a small sphere. She grit her teeth, yanked the fabric of her turtleneck further over her nose, and preyed. "Go fuck yourself." She snarled, then took a deep breath, held it, and with all her pent up anger and grief and frustration, lobbed the glass sphere at the man's face. He snorted, dug out a kunai, and went to deflect the bauble just inches from his face. Only instead of deflecting, the sphere shattered, and Sakura allowed herself one, sadistic grin of vindictive satisfaction as the contents spilled out, smacked a pressure-triggered explosive tag on the ground between her and the nin, then turned and fled back to where she'd come from.

She didn't worry about the man giving chase. He wouldn't be able to.

The bauble had been something she'd stolen from T&I that one time Anko took her along to show her exactly why it was called Torture and Interrogation. The various metal instruments lining the walls had made her shiver and retch, but it was the small cases of poisons that truly caught her eye. Labelled meticulously, the function of each explained in small font, she waited till Anko turned her back on her and quickly grabbed two and shoved them in her weapons pouch.

This particular one had been labelled Sarin gas.

Sakura knew what it did. On paper, it had sounded innocuous enough, almost benign, but Tsunade had been quick to set her straight when she'd asked about it innocently. She'd learnt that Sarin is odourless and clear, and that it begins with acetylcholine build-up. Nerves keep firing, noses run, eyes cry, the mouth drools and vomits, secretions go crazy. It is not a dignified state. Then, the chest tightens, and if the concentration of the poison was great enough, the symptoms progress to convulsions, paralysis, and then death.

And if he doesn't die of the poison, the explosive tag will kill him. she thought viciously.

She dashed back through the bodies littered on the ground, retraced her path, then finally arrived at her destination and collapsed on her knees by Tamaki's side. She'd been wrong in her initial assessment of his injury – he was still alive, the light in his eyes not quite gone, but the wounds in his torso made Sakura almost vomit again. The decision to call up healing chakra was almost instantaneous – and for the first time, she didn't have to think about synching her flow to that of her patient; Tamaki's chakra, despite his systems slowly but surely shutting down, was thrumming a desperate rhythm like a humming bird, while her own energy – or all that was left of it – was circulating at the exact same frantic pace from a combination of fear and panic and exhaustion. So, calling up the last remnants of her chakra, she set her hands on his skin, intentionally not acknowledging the fact that she could see his intestines oh sweet god – and set to work knitting the tissue back together.

After a few seconds, his eyes managed to focus, although it took him a minute to register precisely what she was doing, but when he did, his hand moved much quicker than Sakura would've thought possible and latched onto her wrist.

"Wh… Wha-at…" he croaked, then coughed with a sick, wet, rattling sound in his lungs, then tried again, "What a-are you… doing?" he asked, and despite the weakness of his voice and their position, he managed to make it sound like a demand. The rosette, too overwhelmed by the fact that he was still alive and could speak at all, merely raised her still green-glowing hands to her face so they were easier for him to see, and smiled hopefully. But Tamaki merely frowned. "Why… why are y-you w-wasting your… en-energy on me?"

This time, it was Sakura who frowned. "It's not wasting if it's keeping you alive." She replied, barely managing to keep the tears at bay. To her surprise, she saw his lips twitch up in a weak attempt at a smile and his hand made as if to cup her face but fell mid-motion to his lips as more wet-sounding coughs wrecked his frame. The rosette shook her head and resumed her task, the pain that had been zinging up and down her spine every time she moved temporarily pushed to the back of her mind as she focused wholeheartedly on healing her squadmate.

There was a crunch beside them and Sakura heard the grim, squelching sounds of someone moving behind them, but she only managed to glimpse an outstretched arm and an expression of unadulterated hatred on a mangled face before the cave around them rumbled and a huge shadow seemed to dislodge itself from the ceiling directly above her and Tamaki. She glanced back down, her eyes already adjusted enough to the dark that she managed to see the blond's own eyes widen in alarm. Then she was being shoved aside, off of Tamaki, her shout of protest cut off as the shadow proved to be a giant boulder that had broken off the ceiling, and a whoosh of air and blinding pain were all she knew as the cave rumbled and shook around them, a scream – hers, Tamaki's their enemy's, she didn't know – and then, darkness.

Suddenly, it all went quiet, and Sakura knew no more.

When she woke up, it was to the steady beeping of machinery by her side, a curious pressure on her thigh and the feeling of a much bigger hand squeezing her left one. She blinked a couple of times to try and get her eyes to focus, then noted a familiar head of brown hair by her side.

Genma.

He seemed to be asleep, his forehead resting on her thigh, his hair messy and greasy, for once free of its trademark bandana. Sakura briefly wondered just how long he'd been there and she felt a swell of affection for the brunet. She gently pried her hand from his, absently noting that her right arm was completely immobilised from shoulder to wrist, and ran her fingers through Genma's hair, lightly combing out the knots and smoothing it down into a more orderly fashion.

She wasn't surprised when the gentle touch proved to be enough to wake the brunet, and he slowly raised his head, instantly becoming alert when his eyes met hers. They studied each other for a few seconds, and Sakura's hand slowly fell away from his hair. Then, Genma breathed out a mix of a sigh and a tired chuckle and let his head drop again with a soft thump.

"Never do that again." he demanded harshly, but Sakura saw the minute tremor in his hand that belied just how much of that surface anger was actually fear and relief deep down. She couldn't help the small smile that pulled at her lips, despite the guilt that ate at her on the inside.

"I'm sorry." she murmured as she resumed the mindless task of combing Genma's hair, no longer certain whether she was doing it to straighten it out or to ground herself. She glanced to the side, startled by the amount of flowers she saw on her bedside. "Who...?" she trailed off uncertainly, but Genma didn't even need to raise his head to know what she was talking about.

"Kotetsu, Izumo, the Nara brat, some Hyuuga kid, Anko - take your pick." he mumbled, voice muffled by the covers.

Sakura's attention was drawn to the last name. "Senpai? She didn't strike me as the type to bring flowers." she observed, frowning.

Genma snorted, and finally raised his head, the look in his eyes far colder than she'd expected. "Not to hospitals, no. Anko's got a bit of a reputation for bringing home corpses instead of teammates." he bit out, then sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, it's just - I know it's not her fault, that it was dodgy info and nothing more, but if I think that it could've been - that it-!"

"-that it could've been me instead of Tamaki?" she finished for him, and noted how he tensed, his posture answer enough. "It could've been. Really, being perfectly honest, it should've been me. He pushed me away, Genma. I've no delusions that I would've survived had he not done that." and though her voice shook, she knew they both needed to hear it.

The tokujo eyed her for a moment longer, then sighed, and his shoulders sagged as if a weight had been lifted off of them. "Then I'm grateful." He murmured at last, then used his free hand to prop his chin up, elbow resting on the mattress. "Anko brought over some papers for you, by the way. Said she'll understand if you choose to resign from T&I, and that she's sorry she dragged you through that mission." He informed her, the corner of his lips twitching up slightly when his words seemed to break through Sakura's melancholy and grief and produce an expression of stupefied surprise.

"'Resign'?" she parroted, "Why would I do that? Does Anko not want me around anymore?" she asked, confusion and a flash of hurt bleeding through her wide eyes. She calmed down when Genma shook his head, no.

"You don't seem to have registered what I said earlier – Anko's got a reputation, but she knows she's got it. She's seen it happen before, she's had people refuse to go on missions with her or listen to her orders because they think she's cursed with 'eternal bad luck' – she's giving you an easy out, if you want to take it." He explained patiently, idly picking at the covers though his eyes were sharp as they studied the rosette's expression.

"Well, I don't! And I think that she's stupid for thinking that I would!" she snapped, eyes flashing with anger this time as she sat up in her indignation, only to hiss and gently lower herself back onto the pillows when white-hot pain shot up her shoulder and down her back.

"Easy there," Genma murmured, hand moving from picking at the sheets to gently patting her thigh. "and that's precisely what I told her when she came to drop these off, but she didn't believe me." He added, and Sakura shot him a small smile, then scowled.

"I'm going to give her a piece of my mind as soon as I'm out of here." She vowed, only to frown worriedly when Genma's smile flickered and fell completely. "Genma? What's wrong?"

The tokujo sighed, suddenly sombre. "You might want to find out exactly what happened on the mission before you do that." He advised gravely, and Sakura paled.

"What… what do you mean?"

For the first time since she woke up, Genma looked angry. "As soon as she knew it was an ambush, Anko sent one of her snakes back to the Village with the request for back-up. The words 'Iwa' and 'back-up' together changed the content of the squad from a combat team to a search and recovery team – medic, sensor-nin, and a sealing expert. They already wrote you off as dead before they even found you."

Sakura was surprised – she didn't even see Anko send the snakes, nor did she know that there were specific build-ups of back-up teams. Genma didn't pause to let her mull over this new information and merely barrelled on, fuelled by the bizarre anger she'd noticed earlier, though she still didn't know what she'd done to deserve it.

"But even though Anko called for back-up when the situation was taking place, it still took the team over two days to get there. It would've taken even longer if the guy on your team hadn't been a sensor-type himself. They'd found Anko unconscious, hidden in some shrubs outside the cave. They reckon she managed to crawl out, take a blood-replenishing pill and cover herself before she passed out, but you were still in the cave. They went in, and the only reason you're still here is because the sealing expert was a Byakugan user – you used so much of your chakra that the sensor-nin couldn't feel you, and the medic very nearly pronounced you dead on the spot once they found you. Broken collarbone, shattered right arm, severe blood loss, ripped open wound above your left hip, evidence of poisoning... I could go on."

Sakura's eyes grew as wide as saucers when Genma's voice lost all its inflection at the end.

"You were in that cave for over two days, half-crushed by a boulder bigger than the KIA Memorial and your team leader unable to get you out. And you've already been here for eight days." He paused, his eyes cold though the anger had now receded. "So don't be so quick to dismiss Anko's concerns. Nobody would be surprised if you ended it here and now."

The rosette took a moment to think over exactly what Genma was saying. She remembered feeling overwhelmed, the fact that she was stretching herself too thin had finally caught up with her in the caves and yet… when she thought of leaving T&I, of leaving Anko, she realised she didn't want to. But she couldn't keep going as she had been – that was far too risky, and there was nothing that could ensure that no other mission would go as badly as this one. In fact, she had to be prepared for the eventuality that all of her missions would go like this one from here on out.

"I think I lost you." Genma interrupted her thought process, a small grin on his face when she jumped. "I want you to know that I'm not mad at you." He told her honestly, and Sakura nodded hesitantly, grateful. "And that I will support you, whatever you choose to do."

Sakura nodded again, albeit slower this time, her eyes not leaving Genma's. I could tell him… she mused as her eyes flickered from the reassuring smile to the hand now rubbing comforting circles into her thigh through the blanket. Then, she smiled.

And spilled everything.

A few minutes later, they had worked through the problem to a solution that suited them both, Genma proceeded to congratulate Sakura on her first successful healing – ("The med-nin called it barbaric, just sheer will power and chakra, but even he couldn't deny that it was an admirable effort.") – and the rosette felt her eyes start to drop, fatigue caused by the medication and her rampant emotions making her drowsy. Tomorrow, or whenever she was released, she'd go to Anko, talk things through and assure her that she would stay in T&I. She'd also go to Tsunade-sama and thank her for taking her under her wing, but explain that she realised the life of a med-nin wasn't for her – (Genma had been surprised when she told him she didn't want to admit that she could heal – she'd proceeded to explain that she saw how understaffed the Hospital was, and she knew that the moment Tsunade knew she could heal well enough in the field, she'd be shafted off into the hospital, and she was selfish enough to want to avoid that. Genma had laughed but hadn't protested beyond that.) – and she'd resume her more regular spars and practice with Genma and the Twins.

If there was anything that her experience during the recent mission had taught her, it was that having her fingers in too many pots was never a good thing, and since she'd began this whole crazy adventure with the ambition of at some point specialising in genjutsu, she'd get over herself and focus on genjutsu, damn it.

It was with that resolve that Sakura allowed the darkness to take over her vision as she succumbed into the need for sleep.

Next time she came to, she was drenched in sweat and panting, the heart monitor beside her beeping frantically and her eyes brimming with tears as Tamaki's face swam in her mind, his eyes accusatory, his lips twisted in a grimace as they shaped words that dug deeper than any blade Sakura knew; "Your fault." They seemed to say. "I could've survived, I could've lived, it should've been you not me." And though Sakura knew, logically, that he had never said those words and that his eyes had never looked on her with so much hatred and disgust, in her frayed state, the line between what was real and what was her mind playing tricks on her was becoming dangerously blurred.

She dug the fingers of her left hand into her hair as she curled into herself and pulled, ignoring the stab of pain in her shoulder and the snot and tears that stained the pillow.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed, pulling tighter and breathing erratically. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…"

Sakura vaguely registered someone coming into her room and the pinch of a needle going into her skin before her eyes slid shut and darkness stole over her yet again.

The next morning, Sakura sat still as a nurse bustled around her, changing her IV drip and passing her green-glowing hands over her shoulder with a satisfied click of her tongue, not smiling, not moving, merely responding to the 'does it hurt?' and 'can you move it?' questions when asked.

The nurse shot her an apologetic smile and with a gentle pat to her thigh told her she could expect to stay in hospital for at least another three days before they could dismiss her, and Sakura mustered enough energy to thank her for her honesty and smile as she left. The smile melted away the second she was alone again, the nightmare from the previous night still fresh in her mind.

She didn't dare close her eyes again.

And then, she finally realised that there was another chakra signature in the room with her, and she tensed. The fact that she vaguely recognised it was the only thing that kept her from screaming or making a mad dash for the scalpel on the tray in the corner. Instead, she sat stock-still and calmly called out; "Who's there?"

"Mou, it hurts that you don't recognise your own sensei." Came a familiar voice, and a second later, Kakashi appeared in her line of vision, stepping out from behind the curtain that would normally separate her bed from the other occupants of the room.

"Ah, Kakashi… sensei." She added hesitantly, her suspicion more important than the relief that washed over her at seeing a familiar face and not one of the Iwa-nin. "What are you doing here?" she asked curiously, for once unconcerned by her bluntness.

A strange expression flashed through Kakashi's one visible eye, but then it closed in the trademark fake smile. "I'm merely visiting my student in the hospital. Why so suspicious, Sakura-chan?" Sakura couldn't help the way the corner of her lips twitched downwards at the honorific. It had been a while since anyone had called her that.

"It's just that I haven't seen you since before I left on the mission to Kiri." She explained with a one-armed shrug, suddenly feeling awkward. "I was surprised, is all."

Kakashi tilted his head, the move even less genuine than the smile. "Yes, it has been a while since we've had a nice teacher-student moment. You've been quite busy." He mused, and Sakura was about to retort before she recognised the accusation that lay beneath the seemingly innocuous observation. She grit her teeth, too tired and emotionally exhausted to just let it slide.

"It goes both ways." She retorted sharply, far more alert than she was at the start of the conversation, and far more defensive. Kakashi froze for a split-second, his smile dropping the slightest bit before it reappeared, albeit ever-so-slightly more strained.

"Beg your pardon?" he asked, voice still teasing, but the rosette was in no mood to apologise or try to take the proverbial 'out' that he offered. If he had a reason for catching her in her hospital room after pretending she didn't exist for almost half a year, then she was going to get him to admit to it straight up.

"I said that it goes both ways. Communication, that is. I have been busy, and I apologise for that, but you also know where I live and I assume you've heard where I work. Besides, you could've had the ninken find me if you were really struggling. So, allow me to reiterate – why are you here, sensei?" Sakura explained, not letting her gaze drop from that of her old sensei even when her eyes started to burn from not blinking.

Then, Kakashi broke the impromptu staring contest and sighed. "Mou, you've grown so confrontational, Sakura-chan~! What happened to the timid little mouse you were at Graduation?"

Sakura had a sudden flashback to the tunnels, to the last man, to the distantly amused "Even mice will bite when cornered." and she could feel herself panicking. She took a deep breath and pinched the delicate skin of her thigh, then regarded her old teacher with as much calm as she could master.

"She grew up." And then, because the world was intent on reminding her all her failures and short-sightedness of the last few months, Kakashi snorted.

"Clearly." He remarked, his smile suddenly gone and his posture a lot more tense than mere seconds ago. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. What happened, Sakura?"

When all Sakura did was blink confusedly at his sudden 180, he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, levelling her with the flattest stare she'd ever seen from him which sent a shiver down her spine.

"I want to know what happened, Sakura. Why you thought going to Kirigakure, of all places, was a good idea when your meagre skillset could've easily gotten you killed. I want to know why you chose a jounin who didn't need you over a teammate. Did I not manage to get through to you about the importance of teamwork? I caught Naruto as he was leaving and he told me you have no intention of going after Sasuke – do you not believe he deserves a second chance? And joining T&I – what are you trying to prove, Sakura? That is the most undesirable division in the Village for a reason; what were you thinking of when you applied? Because it won't bring you fame nor positive renown, if that's what you're after. I just want to understand you, Sakura-chan. And all you've done is isolate yourself from your friends and people who care about you and can help you. And what for? It's not good for you. Your current predicament is proof enough."

Silence reigned in the room.

Absently, Kakashi noted that Sakura was shaking – her head was lowered, bangs obscuring her vision, and fine, pronounced tremors shook her small frame with every breath. He reached out to pat her head like he would one of his ninken and was about to rattle off something about how 'a good cry is always useful and he was glad she saw his point of view' when a pale hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist in a tight grip, aborting its motion before it could so much as disturb a single hair on her head.

Then, Sakura looked up at him through her bangs, and Kakashi's visible eye widened in shock. Indeed, there were tears in her eyes, tears he himself had brought into existence with his words, but the expression on the rosette's face was not one of guilt or sadness, no. It was pure, unadulterated anger and indignation, and her lips pulled back in a snarl even as a tear spilled down her cheek.

"'What for'?" she parroted, and her voice was surprisingly stable, quiet. "Are you actually asking me what I did all that for? Isn't it obvious?" when he remained silent, the rosette actually snorted and dropped his wrist like it burned her. "Who would've thought – Genma was actually right. Again." When he scowled at the name, she gazed at him from under her bangs with something like pity in her eyes. "You really have no idea how to teach, do you, sensei?"

"Now wait a minute-!" he began, growing angry himself, but Sakura cut him off.

"No, you've said your bit, let me say mine!" she swiped at her eyes with the heel of her left palm and glared at him. "I did all those things because you didn't give a rat's ass about me or my progress!" she exclaimed, her glare turning accusatory. "I realised after Wave that I couldn't go on as I had been, 'cause even though you didn't seem to see any value in teaching me or telling me I was subpar, I realised I wasn't good enough and had to do something about it. So sue me, I went to the library and studied, since that's all you and Iruka-sensei seemed to think me capable of, that's what I did. And I learnt and I practised, but I needed a teacher, and when you seemed to find more interest in your porn books than you did in making sure the adolescents you were put in charge of actually survive teenagehood, I needed a teacher!" she paused for breath and to assess how much of what she was saying was actually getting through to her teacher. He stood stock-still and staring at her with narrowed eyes, so she took that as her cue to continue.

"Genma found me in the library. He offered to help me. He knew who you were, and for some reason, he knew exactly why I wasn't being taught the way I should've been, so he was the one who helped me work through what I'd read in the library. He was the one who made sure my gear kit was field-ready, and he was the direct reason as to why I managed to beat Ino in the Preliminaries. Beat Ino while also beating a record, at that." She couldn't help but rub in, noting the twitch of Kakashi's hand that belied his annoyance. "You knew I was a genjutsu type the second I was sorted into your team – don't pretend like you didn't," she cut him off when she saw him draw a breath to contradict her, "I saw my file – it has 'genjutsu type' written there and dated with my Graduation. And yet you didn't do anything to help me work with that. I didn't learn anything from you! Even tree-climbing was something you merely showed us, then left us to fend for ourselves. So don't be surprised I sought out other teachers, especially not after you dismissed me with some post-it note about why you hadn't found a teacher for me for the second stage of the Chunin Exams! No civilian-raised genin has a network of contacts and educators they can fall back on when something like that happened – what did you expect me to do? Forefeit?" she paused to highlight the incredulity of her statement, but the look on Kakashi's face made her pale.

"Oh my Kami." She breathed in realisation, disbelief and hysteria warring within her in equal parts. "That's exactly what you expected me to do." She sat silently for a few more seconds, staring at her sensei as if in a new light, then continued, her voice softer, almost muted.

"And yet you wonder why I sought support from anywhere else but you. Had you been me, would you have been confident enough to seek tutelage from a teacher who ignored you for the vast majority of the time you were in his care? Because I wasn't." she took a breath, chose not to address exactly what happened during the Chunin Exams, and moved on. "My parents were killed during the Invasion." She confessed, and saw Kakashi flinch. "Naruto didn't know." Another flinch. "But I know you must've known." No reaction. Sakura snorted – she'd gone right past disbelief and indignation and straight into bitter amusement. "That's why I moved in with Genma; my old house had been razed to the ground. And even when the rebuilding efforts were done with it, it was filled with ghosts, so I stayed with Genma. The mission to Wave was Tsunade-sama's way of testing me and Shikamaru in our new position as chunin. It was also a way for me to break free of the poisonous atmosphere that surrounded me every time I interacted with Naruto or Sasuke. The former was jealous of my promotion while the Uchiha resented my very existence, and yet, you did nothing. You couldn't not have noticed – what was it you told us during the bell test? To 'look underneath the underneath'? So I knew you were aware of what was going on, yet the fact that you chose to be a bystander instead of step in and set them right hurt even more than Sasuke's bitterness. And I couldn't forgive that, so I took a break. And the diplomatic mission was precisely what I needed, and even if you think my 'meagre' skills could've gotten me killed, they were enough for me to spar with a Mist hunter-nin and win the friendship of one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist." She saw Kakashi tense at that, as if he hadn't been aware of that particular tidbit of information, and she tried to make her vindictive smirk a little less… vindictive.

"Afterwards… well. You know exactly what happened. And I'll have you know, that if I were given the choice to save Genma or the Uchiha, I would choose Genma every single time. Not because he was useful to me, or because I feel obliged to help him for all that he'd done for me, but because the bonds I've managed to forge with him even in that short amount of time ran deeper than any bond I could've ever forget with Sasuke, even if he hadn't turned into a traitorous maggot." Kakashi almost jumped at the insult that left Sakura's mouth, but the rosette was relentless.

"And that includes my bond with you, sensei. I don't feel like you've ever given a single damn about me, so why should I seek you out? Why should I feel guilty for 'isolating myself' as you put it, when really, I merely cut off people who didn't support me in life and surrounded myself with people who understand me and my goals? I'm far from isolated – in fact, I'd say I'm better off now than I was when I was still an active part of Team 7. I have friends in Chojuro, Neji-san, Shikamaru, the Twins, Tonbo-san; I have a mission partner and confidante in Shikamaru, I have a senpai in Anko, and a guardian and partner in Genma. I am far more sociable and integrated into our Village's society than I was a year ago. And I wouldn't change that, sensei. Even if you want me to."

Kakashi seemed to consider her words, then sighed. "The world out there is dangerous, Sakura-chan. I'm not sure you've realised that, because you've never truly been in a life-threatening situation, never had your skills tested to their limits, never had a comrade die in your arms, but what awaits you outside the gates is not something you can prepare for with a bunch of friends and wishful thinking. I'm just worried." He replied, eye-crinkle back in place and his hand finally landed unimpeded on Sakura's head and patted her hair.

But the rosette was staring at him as if he'd grown a second head while speaking. "Never… been in a life-threatening situation?" she repeated slowly, trying to convince herself that her sensei really had just said that. "Sensei, I… I don't really know what to tell you." She admitted, ignoring the man's smug look at her confession as she went on. "But I'm wondering whether you're secretly either blind or stupid." Kakashi's surprised guffaw made her feel a sick twist of vindictive satisfaction in her gut. "Because I nearly died on this very mission I just got back from. So I'm wondering if you either didn't know that and thought that I'm in the hospital just for the fun of it, or if we've got slightly different standards for what's considered a 'life-threatening' situation." She told him frankly, then flashed him the most saccharine smile she could force her facial muscles into, recalling the way Anko behaved that one time she let her observe an interrogation. She knew, simply from the way Kakashi stilled, that her expression must've mirrored his own at his most insincere. "And I actually watched my teammate die right before my eyes last week. While I was healing him. When I knew I could finish healing him. But he pushed me out of the way of a giant boulder and let himself be crushed instead of me." She was conscious to never let her smile slip while she admitted that, even when it tore at the very fibre of her being and brought flashes of her nightmare to the very forefront of her mind. "So, let me reiterate," she concluded, hating herself slightly when her voice shook. "I know our world is dangerous." She felt a tear slide down her cheek from her still squeezed-tight eyes. "Trust me, I know."

She was saved from having to continue the conversation when the door banged open and the temperature in the room suddenly dropped by a good ten degrees. Sakura pried her eyes open and spied Genma standing in the doorway, Anko peeking into the room over his shoulder. But her eyes were on the tokujo and she shivered when she realised that she'd never seen him look so angry. His eyes flickered briefly to her, from her distraught expression to the tears still flowing down her cheeks, then he glanced back at Anko and jerked his head in Sakura's direction before he zeroed in on Kakashi who'd gone tense.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Genma murmured, voice deceptively soft and quiet as he moved closer to where her old sensei was standing. Anko took that as her cue to migrate to Sakura's bedside, settling down in the uncomfortable plastic chair and sending her a cautious glance. When Sakura shot a small smile back at her, the jounin relaxed and quirked her lips back, then glanced over at the two men and back at Sakura with a raised eyebrow, as if to say 'Get a load of this, huh?'.

Sakura focused entirely on the stare-down taking place between the two jounin, and the outright hostile way the two were staring each other down. She felt worry twist in her gut and decided to break the silence that had fallen over the room like a suffocating blanket.

"G-Genma?" she called, wiping the tear-tracks from her cheeks as she peered up at the brunet. "Is everything alright?"

She could feel Anko's surprise when the tokujo quickly turned to her and flashed her a reassuring grin and a thumbs-up; "Yeah, all's peachy kid, don't worry your lil' head. Your sensei and I are just gonna have a few words. Don't wait up~!" he told her cheerfully, then grabbed Kakashi by the lapels of his flak jacket, and with the signature 'poof' and small cloud of smoke, both were gone from the room.

"What the hell?" Anko mused from her side, then quickly covered her mouth when Sakura turned to look at her curiously.

"Something wrong, senpai?" she asked, not missing how Anko's eyes widened at the title, but she seemed to dismiss it for the time being, frowning instead as her caramel eyes flickered back to where Genma had been standing just seconds previous.

"Is he always like that?" she asked at last, turning back to look at Sakura.

The rosette frowned, not understanding what she was referring to. "What do you mean?"

"That… nice, I guess. Considerate. I don't wanna say 'easy-going' cause he always seems to be quite relaxed, but just then-" she paused, shook her head as if to dismiss a particularly ridiculous thought, then continued. "Just then, I could tell he was going to beat Hatake's ass. Like, he was ready to murder, comradeship or Sharingan be damned. But he still shoved all that down and was the very picture of reassuring talking to you."

Sakura mulled that over, realising that she hadn't even thought the sudden change in mood as odd until Anko brought it up. In the end, she shrugged. "He's always been like that." She admitted, though elaborated at her senpai's raised eyebrow. "I mean, I've seen him annoyed, exasperated, surprised and worried, yeah, but, I mean, he's always been considerate towards me? Or if he got annoyed it was because I made him worry 'cause I did something stupid/dangerous and he was being passive-aggressive when expressing his worry."

Anko stared at her for a few seconds, seeming to consider something, then snorted. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like you were any better that time in the Jounin HQ." she added, smirking when the rosette bristled.

"He deserved it." Sakura hissed angrily, glaring at the wall as if imagining the chunin's face painted there.

"Damn right he did." Anko agreed easily, apparently startling the rosette who blinked at her owlishly before breaking out into a small smile, feeling a thread of understanding pass between them.

Then, she just had to break the peaceful spell and glared at the jounin, clearly startling her. "Also, senpai," she stressed the title, making Anko frown. "can I just say that I think you really don't know me at all if you think I'd drop the apprenticeship just because of this mission."

It was Anko's turn to gawk at her for a few seconds, clearly stupefied, before something like relief and gratitude? flashed through her eyes. Then, she scowled, though even Sakura could tell that the annoyed look was faked. "Is that any way to speak to your superior, brat?" she demanded, then smirked. "But fine. I expect you back in T&I the day after you're released from this bed, no excuses." And then, she moved as if to ruffle Sakura's hair but her hand paused mid-motion. Instead of letting it fall away though, she changed its course to she ended up lightly smacking the back of the rosette's head like a naughty kid. "Annoying brat, making me worry." She grumbled, then before Sakura could turn her surprised eyes onto her, she disappeared with the same technique as Genma had.

Sakura briefly wondered how she'd managed to surround herself with people so against using the door, then shrugged it off, unable to get rid of the small smile that tugged at her lips. She was emotionally as well as physically exhausted, and she knew that her relationship with her old sensei was still rocky at best, and it would probably only get worse before – if ever – it managed to get better, but it felt good to speak her mind at last. And she's managed to sort things with Anko as an additional perk, so she really couldn't complain.

So it was with a smile on her face that she let her eyes flutter shut; she fell asleep relaxed, unburdened, and even the nightmare was far from her mind when sleep finally claimed her.

When she was finally released, Sakura's first stop was the Hokage's office. As she stood before the Godaime, the blonde's full attention focused on her – something which, not too long ago would've made her incredibly nervous – she met Tsunade's eyes head on, before she broke the eye contact off to bow, a smile on her face.

"Thank you for your time and patience, Tsunade-sama, however, in retrospect, I think I overestimated how much I would be able to handle at once." She began, getting a raised eyebrow in response, but she didn't let that deter her; she had something to say, after all. "My latest mission made me realise that I've been neglecting my personal training in favour of doing everything I could to advance through the ranks. I think the fact that the mission nearly ended with my death was what opened my eyes to what and a handful of others have been trying to tell me from the start." She admitted, making sure to add just the right mix of apologetic and embarrassed to her tone.

She nearly smirked when Tsunade shot her a sympathetic smile. "You finally realised you bit off more than you could chew?" she asked, though not unkindly.

"Yes." Sakura replied, and made sure her expression was even more regretful than before. "And I thought it over and decided that I will put my medical studies on hold for a moment and concentrate on my T&I apprenticeship and individual training. Perhaps, once I'm a jounin I'll return to hospital work, but for the time being, I think I'm done." She bowed again, deeper this time. "Thank you for all your time and instruction, Tsunade-sama, and I apologise for the fact that I couldn't see our six months through to the end."

Tsunade waved her off. "You already made far more progress than I ever expected you to, to be honest. I'm sure it'll be a lot easier to pick up if you ever do return to it than it was this time round." She looked the rosette up and down curiously. "So, what's your plan now?"

Sakura paused, thrown off by the sudden interest, then rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Mainly to focus on genjutsu and bukijutsu. I realised I'll never have the reserves necessary to excel in ninjutsu, but if I dedicate myself to genjutsu I won't need that. And I need to find someone to help me build up my taijutsu, because I realised that although it'll never be my go-to fighting style, it is good to have something more than just the bare bones taught in the Academy under my belt."

Tsunade nodded in acknowledgement. "Well then, Haruno, I wish you the best of luck. And make sure to take some rest days as well this time – I would've thought you of all people would know the danger of burning out better than most."

This time, Sakura didn't have to fake her sheepish smile and she bowed again for good measure. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Then turned on her heel and left.

She found Genma waiting for her on the other side of the door, arms crossed over his chest and signature senbon clutched between his teeth.

"Ready, kid?" he greeted, and Sakura couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips.

"Ready." She reaffirmed, and they walked out of the Hokage Tower, side by side.

She was tired, achy, and her arm was still in its sling, but she felt as if she could take over the world.

Things were going to change.

here we are my dears!

as always, thank you very much for your continued support of this story! please review or PM me if there's anything you don't understand or would like to see in future chapters!

much love and MERRY CHRISTMAS~!