SONIC UNIVERSITY

by joshy suigtin

SONIC UNIVERSITY Contains many favorite characters like our buddies, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and a few other weird Sonic characters nobody else knows. They are all off to college, Sonic University, which is much more stressful, suspenseful, cashless, and love-packed challenge than their previous schools ever were! Will Sonic and friends make it through college, or will they die? :(

11. Sonic's Diagnosis

Sonic University

Chapter 11

Sonic's Diagnosis

"Here is problem." Said Dr. Sonic's Doctor. She let go of his penis and wiped her face off due to Sonic being too jumpy.

"W-w-w-what is it Dr. Sonic's Doctor?" Said Sonic in a worried voice, like when the drying & frying machine is on fire and you're not sure if it is supposed to do that.

"Your penis has aspergers. ONLY YOUR PENIS!" Dr. Sonic's Doctor screamed in an angry voice that meant she was angry. "Any part-ner in sexing will either earn aspergers from you, or die…" Dr. Sonic's Doctor said in a grim voice.

"MY DICK HAS ASSBURGERS!" Cried Sonic. "SHIT! SHIT! BUTTFUCK!" Sonic screamed like a toddler who was just shot at while playing on the monkey bars.

"Any part-ner in sexing that gets the aspergers will give birth to dangerous evil monster asperger baby. Very dangerous!" Said Dr. Sonic's Doctor.

Sonic then thought of his teacher, sister, and mom. "Shit! Those bitches took my assburgers!" Said Sonic. Now he knew why his thot of an algebra teacher, Mrs. Arithmetic, died. Now Sonic was worried that his mom and sister contained dangerous evil monster asperger babyies that were gonna be due in around 9 months. Then Sonic realized something. "Wait a minute Dr. Sonic's Doctor. You made up the whole dangerous and evil assburger baby story to make sure I never sex again! Because school is more important!" Sonic laughed.

Dr. Sonic's Doctor looked very confused. "No hablo ingles." Said Dr. Sonic's Doctor. She then got up and left the room. "You're mom will arrive in a few minute." Dr. Sonic's Doctor said in an angry voice, like mommy driving when she is late to pick up her doggie from the kenal, only to find out her dog was sold for almonds.

Sonic was now bored again. He then pulled out his Sonic Fone X™ and opened SonicTube™. "Let's watch my favorite SonicTube™ channel!" Said Sonic. His favorite channel was, the joshy show (channel/UC3puvpj70Q_l1tJmPGb1N8A). Sonic began to watch all the little legos get flushed down the potty with earrape music in the background.

The Nurse opened the door. "You're mom is here, boy!" She yelled. And in walked Sonic's mom, Mrs. Aleena.

"Sonic, Dr. Sonic's Doctor called you an dangerous evil monster asperger babyies!" Cried Sonic's mom, Mrs. Alenna. "That wasn't very polite of her! Are you okie now Sonic?" Asked Sonic's mom, Mrs. Alenna.

"Yeah!" Yelled Sonic. "Fin as a fiddle!" Sonic said. He then noticed his mom was becoming fat. Sonic slightly feared that it was an dangerous evil monster asperger babyies! But then he remembered that Dr. Sonic's Doctor made dangerous evil monster asperger babyies all up because school was more important than sexing your relatives. "Can we go home now?" Sonic asked. His mom, Mrs. Aleena nodded her head quietly, like the time mommy found out she got pregnant from that milkman dude back in 1954. Sonic and his mom, Mrs. Aleena, then climbed into their tiny, blue Chevy Sonic™ and drove home.

"Is my little non dangerous evil monster asperger baby boy hungry?" Asked Sonic's mom, Mrs. Aleena as she pulled her Chevy Sonic™ into the parking lot of Sonic Sonic™. Sonic Sonic™ is a restaurant where everybody orders from their Chevy Sonic™ and little Sonic girls in roller skates give their food to them for free. It was free to Sonic since he didn't pay since he was a non dangerous evil monster asperger baby!

"I'm as hungry as a fiddle!" Screamed Sonic. He was looking forward to consuming a Sonic Cherry Limeade™! But then a purple Chevy Sonic™ pulled up to the spot next to Sonic and Sonic's mom, Mrs. Aleena. The purple Chevy Sonic™ contained a dangerous evil monster Blaze the Cat! "Oh fuck!" Sonic thought. "A feminist!" Sonic cried. Sonic knew this was bad since Sonia might have told her lesbian partner, Blaze, a feminist, the Cat, about their kinect adventure with Sonic under her sheets that might make her fat because she is full with dangerous evil monster asperger babyies!

She then saw Sonic! "There is that little pig!" Screamed Blaze, a feminist, the Cat. "All white people are racist. All men are misogynistic. There are more like amillion genders!" Screamed Blaze, a feminist, the Cat. She believed genders were cultural, not biological. This scared Sonic more than amillion spidermans.

Sonic knew he was as fucked as a sidewinder squirrel stuck on a stinky sidewalk that stank like dangerous evil monster asperger babyies. "MOTHER TRUCKER! THAT HURT LIKE A BUTTCHEEK ON A STICK!" sCREAMED sONIC AND sONIC'S MOM, mRS. aLLENA, AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE THEY BOTH KNEW THAT THIS WORLD NEEDS LESS FEMINISTS RAGING IN IT.