I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
I've finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am - The Kill by Thirty Seconds to Mars

Kakashi's lecture on titles rolled around my mind like rocks in an avalanche. I understood what he'd said, even had the smug-assed thought that I'd kill any competition. I thought about Hinata's dinner invitation coupled with her warning about Sakura. My pack was still slung over my shoulder with rations in it. I'd have to let Hinata's home cooking wait until tomorrow. Tonight I will eat and sleep in my own apartment.

My apartment. I hadn't been inside for years. I wondered if Itachi had used it. Or who had paid for the damn thing. I hadn't cared when I was a kid. Was it paid from the Uchiha accounts? For over ten years? Was this part of Itachi's agreement when he'd left? Had the Third been forced to buy an apartment for me? I felt my skin crawl. Kakashi was right. I needed to make not only some money but also some inquiries.

The door was locked, but I'd kept the things from Itachi's pack. I never bothered to do more than put them into my own pack; except when I'd found a very familiar and puzzling copy of 'Makeout Tactics'. That, I cracked for all of ten seconds, wondering why Itachi had been carrying it.

Sudden embarrassment flooded my cheeks with heat as I dug out the keys. I saw that the book belonged to Kakashi. That he'd given it to Itachi at some point and that my brother had kept it. In his pack. My brain booted up the illicit good-bye but I was able to banish it before it did more than make my ears flush uncomfortably. I pushed the door open and walked in.

The place was dusty, but it was obvious that someone had been here. Someone's boots had crisscrossed the floor a couple of times. Somewhat recently. I would have to arrange for a cleaning crew to give it a thorough hose out. I tossed my pack onto the futon where it landed in a small cloud of grime. I grimaced but continued in.

A few more steps and I saw that not everything was as I'd left it. I'd been raised to clean up after myself, so in stark contrast to Naruto, my apartment was always spotless. Now it was grungy with disuse, but everything was in its place except a sheet of paper and a pen lying on the table. I hurried to it and started to read.

Sasuke,

I hope when you find this it's because you decided to forgive Konoha. I wish we had been able to talk freely before. I'm leaving to come find you, give it one more try. I regret all I have done to you. I tried to regret the Clan, but I only regret that things turned out as they did.

You should know I slept here one night only. It's still woefully dusty. I did mean to clean it. I suppose I should be sorry for that, but I'm not. I did abuse your bank account. I gave Hinata mother's ring. Please let her have it unless she doesn't want to keep it. You'll find some clothes in your closet. There's some fresh toiletries in the bath, too. Use them. You smell like you've been living under a rock. Knowing Orochimaru, you have been. Besides, according to the prettiest girl in the village, it smells 'amazing'.

I feel like I should write you a letter being the stern man you knew best. But, I don't want to be him anymore. Do you remember all the times you asked me to train you? I should have. Do you remember picnics by the lake? I prized those moments. Hinata remembers them. I prized her, too. It wouldn't kill you to be nice to her.

If by some chance I'm alive... Come talk to me. I probably could use the company. I did to Hinata what I do to everyone eventually. Although I want to make up with her. So... knock first! There. Maybe you're smiling at your foolish older brother. Please remember your dream, Sasuke. Rebuild the clan. Make Uchiha a name to be respected, not hated or feared. Be kind. Don't repeat the past. Finally... I love you, Sasuke.

Your brother, Itachi

I held the letter in my good hand and allowed the scratchiness in the back of my eyes… Itachi's eyes, resolve into tears. I had smiled in the end, I still loved him, and had so many of the same regrets that I couldn't help but allow those emotions to show. If there was ever one place in the whole Village that I felt safe enough to show my vulnerable face it was here. I followed a faint trail of footprints to the bedroom.

I could almost see the movements of that one night. My bedding was tossed on the floor, probably being irredeemably disgusting to try and sleep in. A blanket that Mother had given to me when I was small was wrinkled on the mattress. It had come from a cedar chest I kept in the closet. Surprisingly, a tiny television was plugged in next to the bed, as if he'd decided to watch a show before leaving. I smiled again at these very human traces Itachi had left behind. I wonder if they'd been intentional.

I crossed to the closet to see that Itachi had indeed left a couple of yukatas there. They were as neat as the rest of the clothes, though they were not stiff with age and several sizes too small. I fingered one of my old shirts, and it caved in at my touch. Even if they hadn't been made for me almost five years ago, I would have had to buy all new clothes. The yukata were nice, two cotton with a simple Asanoha pattern in gray and black. And a silk one in a dark blue and grey Ichimatsu pattern. But I didn't have a way of wearing them. I shook my head. I would definitely need money.

I fingered Itachi's letter once more before I put it on my dresser. It was time to head back into town and see about getting some cleaning supplies. And to check my account. I thought about the contents of my bag. New underwear wouldn't hurt either. I just hoped Itachi hadn't spent it all.

The bathroom was by far the most clean space. Obviously Itachi had decided that he needed a shower, and had scrubbed enough to make it a reality. I turned on the facet, splashing water on my face. A hand towel, after I shook the hell out of it, provided a way to dry off, and I noticed a thick bath towel was hanging on my rack. I chanced a sniff of my shirt. It was almost enough to make me want to avail myself of the shower, but the towel had been slung on the rack for at least three months. I groaned. I would have to do laundry today, too.

With that last thought I walked back to my pack, slung it across my shoulders and left. It seemed like I had to brave the Village again. Being on alert for chakra signatures in a place full of Shinobi is tiring. Therefore my surprise at finding Naruto poised to knock was natural.

"Dobe," I greeted him with a nod.

Naruto chuckled, "Teme. Going out?"

"Yeah. My place is trashed and I need food and stuff." Naruto nodded, but stayed uncharacteristically quiet. "If you want to come, hide your face. I just want to go shopping, not get mobbed by your adoring public."

"Sure," he said. He took off his orange coat, tying it around his waist. I felt a pang of envy for his hand. But there was no way I wanted Harishma's cells, no matter that Tsunade had said that they were grown specifically for me, and could not be used in the way that Orocimaru, Danzo, or any of those other ancient creeps used them.

Naruto continued to change himself one part at a time. His forehead protector went into his pocket. He pressed his hair down, making the spikes jut at strange angles. I watched him, and I could feel a smile growing.

"You know everyone knows you by the whiskers."

"Damn." He faced me with his own wide grin, "I was always the worst at genjutsu."

I felt my chakra rise inside, swirling to fill my rinnegan and activate my sharingan. I reluctantly slowed it, I didn't need any of that here. I didn't even lift a finger, just pushed my will onto my friend. His hair bled from pure sunlight to my twin, and his whiskers disappeared. "There."

We walked to the marketplace. Naruto was still ruminating, and I waited in dread of what he'd say. We parted as friends this time, but there were years of mistrust between us.

"If your place is a mess you can stay with me."

I shot him a glance, "I'm not going to disappear if that's what you need to hear. Not for a while, anyway. In fact I am moving into the Seat, but I want to clean the place up anyway. Just in case I need a place to go later."

"At least you can wash your clothes, towels and stuff over at my place. I have a washer and dryer now. It would only take an hour or so to do enough to live for a few days." Naruto's steps faltered, "Wait, did you say the Seat?"

"It is my house, too." I watched Naruto's face flicker through some emotions. "Why?"

"Hinata is living there."

Now I was honestly confused. "She's supposed to be?"

"You can't live alone with a girl!"

Ah. "She invited me. It's not like that."

"I still have a chance. I'd be a good…," he broke off, "I'd be a good boyfriend."

"She…" I was catching up, but now I wonder if Hinata has not spread the news. "She doesn't want to get married, dobe. She's lonely."

"But we eat dinner there every week. It's tonight. I was going to invite you." He paused, "She told you that? You've seen her?"

"Yeah, maybe an hour or two ago." I resumed walking, "But I am skipping that dinner."

"You still don't like her? Then why would you move in?"

I scratched my neck, "We made up. Besides, she's my clan head now." I knew Naruto knew about Itachi at least. He didn't need to know that the prospect of Sakura's company was keeping me home. "Now about your washer. After I get some essentials, we'll go back to my place then over to yours."

As if that interaction had been enough to break the dam, Naruto started to talk. It was almost like the old days, except that I listened to what he was saying. Recent missions. Kakashi as Hokage. Sakura, Sai, and the people I should have regarded as friends, but I hadn't.

How was I supposed to say that now I felt like an alien in their midst? Of the village, but at the same time so far removed from everything that being a village meant. That was the path I thought I'd chosen for myself, convinced that everyone else was a docile sheep. Ambling along like the Emperor in his new clothes. What a fool I'd been.

The conversation was, almost by default, one-sided. I only really felt comfortable talking about the random shit I was doing outside the village for the last two months. But he had a life, and I felt his words like thorns. I could have that too. I should. I allowed his chatter to wash around me, trying to answer with more than a syllable when I could. I would be something to them again. I had to.

We ended up going to the bank, where I was forced to drop Naruto's disguise to get his confirmation that I was who I said I was. Then re-visiting the food stalls, picking up a stick of takoyaki to eat while shopping and a couple of onigiri I could eat at home along with a couple of eggs that I should be able to cook for myself in the morning.

I went to the same clothes shop I'd grown up going to. I picked out a few tops that looked like they wouldn't show off my missing arm, and a couple new pants and the underwear I'd been thinking about. I took them all up front and paid, popping extra to have the shirts embroidered with the clan insignia.

We walked back to my apartment, picked up the laundry I wanted to wash and headed to Naruto's place. All in a comfortable quiet. I'm not sure what I missed the most, but I did miss having a true friend, that and a place to get fresh tomatoes.

AN/ Where to start? Uhhhh… Clothes, when not being handled regularly and kept clean, will start to decompose in as little as five months. Especially in cool, dry environments, like the inside of an unused apartment. Sasuke is coming along. I hope you like where I take him. The yukata patterns… do you care? Of course you do! ASANOHA: its imagery is associated with growth and children's health. (the pattern on Nezuko's kimono if you like D/S) It can also represent protection from harm or evil spirits. ICHIMATSU: a repeating pattern of alternating dark and light squares that represents prosperity of descendants and expansion of business. (Like Tanjiro's haori)

LB We're slowing way down now, thank you for the review *glows quietly*