firstly, thank you for the reviews! they make my day 3

also, i'm laughing at the fact that every time i throw platonic affection around like confetti, y'all think i'm hinting at the endgame. TRUST ME, you'll know IMMEDIATELY when the endgame is decided, and it'll be revealed in the next 1/2 chapters ;)

P.S:
#1 when i officially divorced Kishi (see: chap notes of chpt 25, 'my kingdom now') it also meant that this is venturing into Headcanon Land. and i have A LOT of those. so buckle up cause it gon be a wild ride~
#2 Sasuke is surprisingly fun to write
#3 Kakashi, when he's not being an Angsty Piece of Shit, is also fun to write
#4 THIS AUTHOR BELIEVES ITACHI UCHIHA NEEDS TO SEE A FUCKIN SHRINK ASAP
#5 warning for swearing cause Sasuke has a heckin vulgar inner (and outer) voice

"Okay. Neji-san, if you would, could you just run that by me again, please?" Sakura requested, turning so she was sitting cross-legged and facing the brunet.

Neji sighed and settled opposite her. His shoulders were tense and his lilac eyes were hard with resolve. "I want to get rid of the Caged Bird seal." He repeated quietly, and Sakura closed her eyes for a split-second.

When she opened them, she gave Neji her undivided attention. "Why come to me?"

She wasn't expecting the Hyuuga to answer quite so readily. "Because you know politics. Because, being clanless, you can see it from a true outsider's perspective. Because you've clawed your way through the ranks and demanded respect in a way I couldn't match. Because you gouged out the Uchiha's eye when he betrayed you, and didn't cave once when questioned. Because I know I can trust your sense of right and wrong, and the seal is wrong." He paused. "Because, at most, I know you'll warn me before you report me."

Sakura studied the brunet, his posture, the absolute certainty of his conviction, and felt herself begin to smile. "Walk me through it, please. Why now? Why ever?"

So Neji talked.

And the more he talked, the more nauseous Sakura felt. A slavery seal. Approved by the Nidaime, as well. Still in operation, still being applied onto children as young as four years old. It wasn't quite as barbaric as Shimura's ROOT, but it was far closer than it had any right to be.

"I don't want to die for someone who wouldn't do the same for me." Neji concluded, and his resolve was momentarily overcome by bitterness. "I don't want someone to have the power to destroy my mind if I displease them. I don't want to be told that just because I was born to the Branch Family and not the Main, I will always be inherently weaker, that the seal is a failsafe so that our dojutsu isn't stolen. The Main Family can die in battle too," he seethed, looking away, "just because they are from the Main Branch doesn't make them immortal, yet they don't get sealed." He glared at Sakura when he was finished, burning with righteous anger and determination.

She was surprised that he made an effort to school his expression once he realised he was projecting his anger onto her. "I apologise; my… emotions got a hold of me. I have no quarrel with you personally."

Sakura snorted then aimed for a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it." She waved him off, then grew serious. "The way I see it, you can go about it one of two ways." She told him frankly, her smile turning a little more wry when he snapped to attention. "You can force the change from the bottom up, or top down."

Neji frowned, "Explain."

"Bottom up: convince as many of your fellow Branch members to follow you. Perhaps even some more progressive Main Family members. Reach out to other Clans – a lot of our graduating class are Clan Heirs. Tell them what's happening. Make them care. Get their support. Revolt. If enough of you raise your voices, prove that the branch you're born into doesn't dictate your ability, the Main Family would be foolish to ignore your demands." Judging by the expression on Neji's face, he doubted it, but he nodded.

"And the other option?"

Sakura felt her smile turn sharper, more teeth than humour. "Demand change from a position they can't say 'no' to." When all that did was make Neji frown, she elaborated. "Put yourself in the running for Hokage."

The sheer indignation on Neji's face was so comical Sakura couldn't have stopped herself from laughing if she'd tried.

"I've had that suggested to me before." He said at last, though the disbelief on his face didn't fade. "I was expecting something a little more sensible from you, however."

Sakura sobered up, "It is sensible!" she defended, then raised an eyebrow. "Who was the other person who suggested it?" she asked, not able to fully restrain her curiosity.

"Kiba." He confessed at length, and Sakura did a double-take.

"Kiba? Inuzuka Kiba?" And when Neji's face said do you know any other? clearer than if he'd shouted it, she hummed. "Huh. Let's go see him." and she rose to her feet and made to leap off the Hokage's Monument, laughing at Neji's indignant calls from behind her. "Come on, Hyuuga!"

Minutes later, they were walking up to the gates of the Inuzuka Compound, and Sakura could tell the brunet at her side was still in a strop, so she was the one to smile at the guards instead.

"Good afternoon," she greeted with a shallow bow, "we'd like to see Kiba, if possible?"

The guard nodded and led them into the compound, and Sakura was greeted with the sight of multiple clansmen, just as wild and rambunctious as she remembered Kiba being in the Academy. She was surprised when the guard stopped in front of what looked like a clinic and knocked.

Tsume appeared at the door, and Sakura fell into a bow before the woman could open her mouth, Neji following suit, albeit somewhat delayed in his reaction. "Tsume-sama." Sakura greeted when she rose, and noted the amusement and annoyance on the woman's face at the honorific.

"Haruno. Drop the –sama, we don't do that around here. And Neji, I told you to stop bowing to me months ago. Or do you want another training run with the Haimaru brothers?" the matriarch chastised, and Sakura startled, looking between the Inuzuka and Neji in confusion.

That was…far more familiar than she would've ever imagined. There was also no denying the fact that Neji paled at the mere mention of the 'Haimaru brothers'.

"No, thank you, Lady Tsume." He denied, still quiet and courteous even as the look on his face read more along the lines of 'fuck no'. "We'd like to see Kiba, if you don't mind."

Tsume nodded and turned back to the inside of the building, "Brat!" she barked, and Sakura winced at the volume of the call, getting a smirk from the woman when she noticed.

Then Kiba appeared at Tsume's shoulder, and Sakura very carefully did not gape. Brash, loud Kiba that she remembered from the Academy was clad in the beige jacket of medic-nin, wild hair kept back with a fluffy pink headband, a stethoscope around his neck and bandages and forceps and retractors poking out from his pockets.

Kiba… was a vet?

"Neji!" he greeted, and there was genuine happiness in his expression and honestly, what? Sakura knew she was a little out of touch with her graduating class, but this was ridiculous. "And– Sakura?" the surprise in his voice was obvious, and Sakura almost snorted. Wonder why.

"I told her." Neji stated without preamble, and Kiba cocked his head, looking so much like a confused puppy in that moment that Sakura almost laughed. Then, his eyes widened.

"Oh! Shit, right, let me just-!" he tugged off the stethoscope and threw it aside, then, in the same manner that Tsume had done before him, half-turned and hollered back into the building, "Mom! I'm taking a break!" and then stepped out and shut the door on Tsume's growled reply.

Sakura was still reeling with Kiba's apparent newfound profession when the Inuzuka addressed her, nose scrunched up in mild disgust. "Man, did you roll in roadkill or something?" he asked, and the humour in his voice managed to ground Sakura just a little.

"Not quite." She replied, annoyed at having forgotten the famous Inuzuka nose and searching desperately for the tone she always used when bantering with Genma or the Twins, shoving her revelation deep down until she could deal with it. "I only just got back from Kiri and haven't had the chance to change yet. We encountered some trouble on the way and, well. The Mist-nin got a bit overzealous, is all." She shrugged, quirking her lip in a wry grin.

Kiba barked a laugh, then nudged Neji. "So? Why the sudden visit?"

"Sakura-san said I should put myself in the running for Hokage." Neji relayed tonelessly, though he seemed to relax the deeper they walked into the compound.

"She did? You did?" Kiba asked, expression torn between amusement and disbelief, then grinned. "Awesome! I told you it was a serious suggestion and you didn't believe me!" he reeled on Sakura then, fist held out expectantly. "C'mon, here's to baffling geniuses with reason!"

Sakura looked between Kiba's fanged grin and his fist, only slightly dubious, then slowly bumped her own against his.

"Jeez, that was almost as enthusiastic as Shino." Kiba muttered, sarcasm dripping from every word, and Sakura couldn't help the snort that escaped her.

"Sorry. I just wasn't expecting, y'know. This." And she waved her hand, trying to encompass Kiba's entire getup in the gesture.

The teen in question raised an eyebrow, toosharptoolong canine poking out in his smirk. "What? Did you think you and Shikamaru were the only ones who found your niche?" he asked, amusement colouring his voice, though there was an edge of admonishment in the words. "I mean, sure, you did figure it out a few years before the rest of us, but we're not incompetent – we weren't gonna keep the genin mentality forever."

Sakura masked a wince.

Arrogant, Yuki had called her. And yeah, she could see that now. Because she hadn't realised, hadn't really even entertained the idea of the rest of their graduating class catching up to her and Shikamaru.

"–trained to be a vet 'cause Hana's been on my case about it for years, and it's actually quite rewarding, y'know?" Sakura tuned back in and realised Kiba was still talking. "Ino's apparently revolutionising Seduction in the Intel Division, Chouji's working to expand the Akimichi menu to include the foreign recipes Shikamaru brought back so the immigrants have a taste of home, Shino's started training to take over as Clan Head a few weeks back, and I think Neji's female teammate is working with the smithy, right?" he listed, aiming the last part at Neji, who nodded.

"Indeed. Tenten's apprenticing under the old Uchiha blacksmith." He confirmed. "And Lee expressed an interest in being an Academy teacher."

Kiba snorted. "Rest in peace to the poor brats who get him as their sensei." He laughed, then suddenly stopped and dropped into a sitting position, resting his back against a tree. "Right, now let's get to the reason you popped by: Neji's Hokageship."

Neji coughed suddenly, and if he'd been anybody else, Sakura was willing to bet he'd have gaped, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Kiba, apparently, thought the same.

"Oh, c'mon." he groaned. "You know you could do it, stop playing coy, it's not cute."

"You jumped from chunin to full jounin faster than I did," Sakura cut in when Neji looked ready to bristle. "you're obviously capable. You've been lauded as a genius since the Academy. Few doubt your ability as a shinobi, and I'm certain you could have the same success if you turned your attention to the subtler art of politics."

"Yeah," Kiba backed her up, and wow wasn't that weird, "the Inuzuka would back you. Pretty sure I could get the Aburame to do the same."

"The Nara would, and with them, the Akimichi and Yamanaka too." Sakura observed, holding out her fingers. "That's five of the Noble Clans already. If you get involved in the administrative side – shadowing Nara Shikaku or even Shizune, hell, you could even stroll right up to Tsunade-sama and ask to be her assistant and she'd probably agree – you could be a strong contender for when she decides to step down." She explained, thinking up the possibilities as she talked.

"There would be other, far more competent shinobi who could take the mantle." Neji denied, though some of that hard-headed denial had waned a little in the face of Sakura and Kiba's joint front.

Kiba snorted. "Hardly. With Shimura's recent showdown, people aren't likely to trust the Elders. Jiraiya-sama doesn't want the position and he's not even officially loyal to the Leaf. Hatake might, though." He pointed out, and it was Sakura's turn to snort.

"Hardly." She echoed. "He's too infamous to lead the Village, and the civilians fear him. Besides, he's the ANBU Commander now, and there's nobody in ANBU who is an obvious choice as a successor he could train up – he'd have to start from the bottom, and that would take too long." When both boys shot her a weird look, she frowned. "What? I thought that's common knowledge?"

Kiba blinked. "Uhh, if you're in ANBU then yeah, maybe." He allowed, eyebrows at his hairline. Neji was much less expressive, but he in turn looked contemplative.

"Anyway…" Sakura trailed off, before she shrugged it off and went back to her explanation. "Kakashi's ANBU Commander, so he's a no-go. Shikamaru's dad refuses to take anything more taxing than Jounin Commander, and the other Clan Heads each have their own responsibilities within the Village that they can't exactly give up." Then, she sighed. "And for all that Naruto keeps crowing on about how he's going to be Hokage, he's still too immature, and a genin at that."

"Yeah, and his blatant support of the traitor isn't winning him any favours either." Kiba growled, and Sakura was surprised to note an undercurrent of distaste in the teen's voice. She'd been of the opinion that the two had been at least relatively close friends a few years back.

"And you think that's enough?" Neji asked disbelievingly. "Few competitors and some political experience, and I can just lead a Hidden Village?! I just want to destroy the House system, not become a kage!"

Sakura scowled, growing annoyed. "And the best way for you to do that is from the top down. Unless, of course," she allowed, a vicious edge in her tone, "you want a bloody revolution, and risk being put down like the Uchiha were."

Neji quietened, though he glared at her, while Kiba winced.

"From the way you said it before, I assumed bottom-up could be done without bloodshed." Neji accused, and Sakura laughed, the sound devoid of humour.

"In an ideal world, yes. Realistically? The easiest way for the Branch Family to prove themselves would be through thoroughly beating the Main Family in every way."

Neji looked pained, but Kiba seemed grim but agreeable. "My mom shut down any naysayers to her being Alpha by literally beating them up until they agreed she was worthy of being Clan Head." He pointed out humorously, and Sakura barked a laugh. "The good ol' brawl can have its advantages, sometimes."

"Bear in mind we're talking about the Hyuuga." She joked, getting a fanged grin in return. "And I thought the Inuzuka were matriarchal anyway?" she asked, and Kiba seemed surprised but answered readily.

"The Inuzuka are. The Hyuuga and the Uchiha though? Not so much." Sakura's eyes widened, but Kiba was radiating unholy glee. "Mom says the day she punched Uchiha Fugaku in the face is one of her fondest memories."

Once they calmed down from the hysterical laughter they had devolved to, Neji sighed and glared at them.

"If you're quite done." He snapped, but even he couldn't fully hide the way the corner of his lips was twitching upwards. "I need to plan how to do this, and I would appreciate some help. Where do I start? How do I get Tsunade-sama to take me on?"

Sakura and Kiba looked at each other, contemplative, then grinned, expressions brimming with mischief and schadenfreude.

"Sake." They said in unison, grins growing, "Lots and lots of sake."

Two days after Sakura put her head down with Kiba and helped Neji plan a political revolution, Shikamaru got back to Konoha with the platoon Sunagakure'd sent as reinforcement.

The Kiri and Suna squads were housed in the foreign visitors' quarters, the same ones that the genin participating in the Konoha Chunin Exams had stayed at. Due to the sheer number of additional shinobi to manage, Sakura and Shikamaru had volunteered to stay with them. Better them, they'd reasoned, who the Mist and Suna-nin at least knew, than someone who only saw them as foreign cannon-fodder.

They even got their own room for their efforts.

At the moment, they were making full use of the double bed in their room, lounging without a care in the world while the radio played some foreign song in the background.

"Hyuuga Neji came looking for me." Sakura found herself admitting suddenly, twisting onto her side so she could look at Shikamaru's face and gauge his expression. "Did you know he and Kiba were friends?"

Shikamaru, who was lying on his back, head pillowed on his folded arms and looking like he was a step away from falling asleep turned his head, cracked a single dark eye open and raised an incredulous eyebrow at her.

"Uh, yeah. They've been friends since that final round of the Chunin Exams in Mist." He told her frankly, a touch of amusement in his voice like he found her question funny.

"But… that's almost two years!" Sakura exclaimed, trying to remember if she had seen anything that betrayed the unexpected friendship.

Shikamaru's open eye widened and he finally seemed to realise why she was so surprised. "Don't tell me you didn't know?" and when Sakura pouted, he huffed a laugh. "I don't get it. How can you be so clever, but so oblivious about what's going on around you?" he asked rhetorically and the question brought Yuki's words to the forefront of her mind yet again. Ouch.

She tried for a shrug, a move made difficult by the fact she was lying down. "I don't really… interact with our age group." She said at last, and when Shikamaru turned to look at her, there was no judgement in his gaze, just a glimmer of amusement.

"I know." He told her simply, and that was that.

Or so she thought.

"Apparently, Kiba's been trying to get into the Hyuuga's pants for months." He added, and at that, Sakura couldn't help but let out a bark of startled laughter.

"What?" she demanded through her giggles, and Shikamaru was clearly smirking now. "How do you know?"

"Ino went on a mission with both of them." He said, and duh, of course it was Ino. "According to her, Kiba's 'thirst' was 'palpable'."

"What does that even mean?" Sakura lamented, completely befuddled by some of the words her age-mates were coming up with because honestly, what?

Shikamaru shrugged. "Beats me. But the Hyuuga is pretty, so I can't blame him." at Sakura's incredulous look, he sighed. "What? I had to listen to Ino wax poetic about the Uchiha throughout our time as genin. I can objectively evaluate another man's attractiveness without getting insecure about it, and the fact is that the Hyuuga genes are pretty." Shikamaru explained, sounding almost petulant if not for the way his lip was twitching, betraying his amusement.

"Right." Sakura managed, her voice almost steady. "Of course." And then she couldn't hold it any longer and burst out laughing, and almost grudgingly, Shikamaru joined her.

"Careful, woman, or you're going to give me complexes." He grouched, and Sakura quietened, then shot him an evil grin.

"I can summon back my fangirl self if you're feeling insecure." She offered, and then, before Shikamaru could protest, she rolled closer to him and crooned in her fakest, most ridiculous voice. "Uwaah, so handsome, so smart, so mysterious~!" Shikamaru scrambled to shut her up, mortified and blushing, but Sakura carried on even though her giggles, "Truly the handsomest, you set every girl's heart aflufsher-!" she was cut off by Shikamaru's hand coming into firm contact with her mouth, and the affronted, disbelieving glare he shot her.

"What the hell, woman?!" he demanded, though there was laughter, incredulous and breathless in his voice. "Are you quite done?!"

Sakura licked Shikamaru's palm and the brunet let go, shooting her a disgusted look, but she ignored it in favour of stretching and shooting him a smirk. "I could go on forever."

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, and the look he gave her was so done she couldn't help but start giggling anew. "Please don't." he begged emphatically, and Sakura's giggles only got louder.

She calmed down, eventually, and rolled over onto her front so she could peer down at Shikamaru, who seemed to have given up on her and was lying on his back, staring determinedly at the ceiling.

"Aww, I'm sorry." She apologised, trying to inject her tone with sincerity instead of humour.

Her hand rose, almost of its own accord, and she found herself lightly tracing her fingers over Shikamaru's sharp cheekbones, his brows, down the bridge of his nose and over the arch of his cupid's bow. "You are handsome." She told him, quiet and far too honest. "And Kami only knows you're smart, and you're one of the kindest men I know." She smiled at him, and gently booped his nose. "Anyone would be lucky to have you."

There was…something, then. A moment where neither of them looked away, where her words hung between them like the invitation to some new territory, some unexplored part of their relationship.

The silence was broken by an ear-shattering, thunder-like boom and screams.

Instantly, Sakura was on her feet, scrambling through the window and rushing to the roof for a vantage point. What she saw made her heart skip a beat.

Orochimaru had come.

Manda, his enormous summon, was there too, coiled atop the rubble of what once was the Main Gates and the gate guards' post, and Sakura sent a quick prayer to the gods that Kotetsu and Izumo hadn't been on guard duty tonight.

Beyond Orochimaru, beyond the King of Snakes, was an army of Sound-nin that stretched further than Sakura's eyes could see.

Shikamaru appeared at her side a moment later, and when she finally found her voice, all she could say was, "Get the Suna contingent. I'll get Mist." She was about to turn tail and do what she'd said, but Shikamaru grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"Sakura." his voice shook slightly, but the look in his eyes was hard, determined. "You're not allowed to die, do you hear me?"

Sakura blinked, thrown, but managed a jerky nod. "Of course. And neither are you." Then, she used the grip Shikamaru still had on her arm and pulled him into a hug, aware that neither of them had the power to keep that promise, aware that they were being separated for their respective duties during the invasion, aware that she didn't know when she would see him next.

(if she would see him next.)

They held each other for a beat, then separated and dashed away without looking back, off to fulfil their respective roles to the best of their abilities.

Sakura shepherded the Mist-nin over to the Gates, wished them luck and gave Chojuro a quick hug, then she was off, running as fast as her legs could take her towards the civilian quarter, where barriers were already being put up, protecting the civilians from the fighting shinobi, where Genma was.

She passed a gaggle of panicked civilians being led by a harried chunin to one of the underground shelters, and almost had a heart-attack when one of them grabbed her arm.

"Sakura-chan!" Eri's voice roused her from her autopilot and she focused on the woman, noting the wide eyes and bitten-raw lip. "Sakura-chan, Kei-chan was at my mother's but they're not letting me go to get him! Sakura-chan, please-!"

Sakura pried Eri's hand off of her wrist and fought a silent battle with herself. Genma or Kei, Genma or Kei, Genma or-!

"What's the address?" she demanded, sharp and probably harsher than Eri deserved, but this was important. When Eri rattled it off and almost burst into tears with relief, Sakura veered sharply off course and dove deeper into the Village, throwing kunai at the few Sound-nin who'd managed to break through the defences that she found along her way.

She staggered to a halt in front of the house Eri had directed her to, and her heart twisted. An elderly woman with Eri's features sat in a rocking chair on the porch, a book in her lap, and one senbon in her eye, another in her throat.

Sakura ran past the corpse, into the house, calling out as she went. "Kei-chan? Kei? It's Sakura-neechan, sweetheart, are you here?"

"Neechan?"

The almost four year old stuck his head out from under the dining table – which was covered by a truly garish tablecloth but which nonetheless hid him from sight – and Sakura could see the relief in his expression when his eyes landed on her.

"Neechan!" this time, little Kei ran over and barrelled straight into her legs, clinging on for dear life.

"Sssh," she shushed him gently, stroking his hair, then bent down and pulled him up and into her arms, "c'mon, Kei-chan, let's get you to one of the shelters." She headed for the back door, not wanting Kei to see his grandmother as she currently was, and made her way to the closest shelters.

She passed by T&I on the way and hesitated as an idea bloomed in her mind.

Mentally apologising to Eri in her head, she veered off course once again and headed deep into the building, and down into the lowest-level cells she knew currently housed the Uchiha brothers. She shifted Kei onto her back, letting him cling, monkey-like, to her neck, the piggyback hold managing to free her hands and put her body between the Uchihas and Kei.

With a deep breath, she swiped her bloodied thumb over the panel on the door and walked in.

Sasuke paced around his cell, restless. The burning inferno of his rage had subsided into a steady flame of determination, but the anger was still there, roiling beneath the surface. All he needed to do was reach for it and it would consume him anew.

In the cell next to his, visible through the bars but separated by a chakra field – (as Sasuke had found after trying to attack him when he was first brought in) – Itachi sat meditating.

For the first few days after Itachi had been put in the cell beside him, Sasuke had refused to listen. He'd raged and snarled and thrown himself at the bars, ignoring his brother's calm, quiet assurances that he wasn't going to hurt him, wasn't even really here for him but for something far bigger as if that was going to make it any better.

Sasuke'd surrendered himself to Orochimaru, let the man play with his blood and with his eyes like they were his personal playset, had his eye removed and his Sharingan sealed and his chakra taken from him and for what?!

Itachi still refused to even acknowledge him as a threat.

Every day, like clockwork, an ANBU came with Itachi's medication, because apparently, his brother has been dying for the last half a decade, and he'd still been able to kick Sasuke's ass the few times they'd come across each other since the Massacre.

And then, Kakashi had come.

Decked out in full ANBU gear, and with a cream duster thrown artfully around his shoulders that Itachi had later told him, with no small amount of surprise, denoted the ANBU Commander. Then it turned out that Kakashi was there to give Itachi his medication, and Sasuke decided that he'd really fucking appreciate it if things started making sense, because what?

"Thank you, Hatake-san. Sorry to have troubled you." Itachi had murmured, oddly subdued and not quite as monotonous as usual as he accepted the medicine.

"Maa, you know I'd do anything to avoid paperwork, Itachi-san." Kakashi had replied in his usual infuriating good humour, and Itachi had seemed as thrown by the teasing tone as Sasuke had been. "Making sure you don't waste away in our cells is hardly the worst method of procrastination I have employed."

And then Kakashi had stopped in front of Sasuke's cell, good humour momentarily replaced by resigned fondness and something that looked suspiciously like regret. He was quiet, and Sasuke was far, far too tired to make any biting remark or attempt to guilt-trip the man.

"Your hair's grown." Kakashi said, a propos of nothing, his eyes still glued to Sasuke's face, and what? Yeah, sure, his hair did now brush his collarbones, and he could finally tuck his bangs behind his ears instead of constantly blowing them out of his eyes, but what the fuck, Kakashi? And then- "Give your brother a chance. Just one. You won't regret it."

And Sasuke wanted to snarl, wanted to hiss mind your own fucking business, wanted to break down the cell door and smash Itachi's head against the wall and then maybe kick Kakashi in the nuts, for good measure, but-

But fuck, Hatake was about the only person in this godforsaken Village who Sasuke felt anything even remotely close to respect for. And for all he wanted to rage, to scream and break, he looked at Kakashi and then just- couldn't. He'd scowled, and Kakashi had smiled and left, but the next time Itachi broached the subject of his sudden return to Konoha, Sasuke had listened.

What he'd learnt… it was a good job Danzo and Sarutobi were already dead, because Sasuke had never felt Killing Intent quite like that before. He still wanted to stick Tsunade's and all the other Elders' heads on a stick because fuck them all, but knowing that Itachi had been manipulated, hadn't gone from doting-if-absentee big brother to crazy-mass-murderer overnight, but had been used, had had his unquestioning patriotism exploited by leaders who would rather commit genocide than try to rectify the exclusive behaviour they'd encouraged amongst the citizens – it helped, if only a little.

He was by no means ready to accept Itachi back into his life, to forgive and forget, because the bastard had murdered their parents for a Village which had done nothing for either of them, but. But. Maybe, someday.

Sasuke wasn't a citizen of Konoha anymore, and Itachi had been its bogeyman for half of his shinobi career – there was nothing that tied either of them to the Village. Maybe they could go somewhere, after. To Iron, maybe, where Sasuke, with his sealed chakra could still be useful amongst the samurai, and where Itachi, who apparently never wanted the shinobi life in the first place, could open a fucking teashop or some shit.

Sasuke could find his brother some good shrink, because even he could spot suicidal ideation when it stared him in the face, and Itachi, after becoming a mass-murderer at thirteen, working in deep cover for eight years and suddenly having all his carefully-laid plans come crashing down around him like a house of cards was a walking, talking headcase.

Maybe he could even kidnap a Yamanaka before they leave, Sasuke mused. Go out with a bang, as it were.

He wasn't ready for his pacing to be interrupted by the door suddenly opening – Itachi already got his medication, and they weren't really the most visited of criminals. Or at all, for that matter.

And then, he dropped into a crouch and a snarl ripped its way from his throat, vicious and more aggressive than even the ones he'd directed at Itachi, because she stepped into the corridor.

The bitch responsible for his current predicament, for his missing eye, for his sealed Sharingan, for him being paraded through Konoha like a common criminal.

Sakura.

To make the indignity all that much worse, she had a child clinging to her back like a fucking limpet, and the brat was peering curiously over her shoulder at Sasuke like he was some zoo animal.

"Calm the fuck down, Uchiha." She sighed, and Sasuke's snarl was louder this time, and if he had wanted to kick Kakashi in the balls, it was nothing in comparison to what he would do to his female teammate if he had the chance.

And then, Sakura bit her thumb and flashed through seals so quickly that he couldn't track them without Sharingan, and swiped her bloodied thumb over the panel of his cell door.

With a creak, the door sprang open and Sasuke froze, momentarily stupefied. Even Itachi abandoned his meditation in favour of stepping as close to the cell wall as he dared without triggering the chakra field, and if he were anybody else, Sasuke would've said he was gaping.

"I said calm down." She snapped, voice cold, and the child on her back stopped gawking at Sasuke in favour of turning curious eyes on his transport. Either Sakura was putting on a front, or he hadn't yet had the chance to experience what a heartless bitch she could be. "I'm not here to kill you, tempting as it is. I'm here to hire you."

And that– that was the most fucked up thing he'd heard so far, and he'd literally had his mass-murdering brother tell him he never wanted to be a shinobi.

"What?!" he reckoned the octave his voice had jumped was perfectly understandable, because honestly, what the fuck.

Sakura laughed, sharp and derisive. "You're not a ninja anymore, Uchiha. You're a mercenary at best, and unaffiliated at that. I find myself in need of your services, and I'm willing to pay."

There was a moment of incredulous silence, and then Sasuke threw himself at the rosette, leaping through the open door, consequences be damned.

"You-" he snarled, spittle flying, swinging with his fist like the dobe but he was blinded with incandescent rage. Sakura dodged, nimble and far quicker than she had any right to be, and Sasuke saw red. "You put me behind these fucking bars, you bitch! If you think- if you think I'm going to work for you-! There's nothing, nothing you could pay me that would make me leave this cell for anything other than putting a kunai in your throat."

"No?" she asked in that same idly bored tone that he remembered Kakashi using. And then, she was in his space, and without his Sharingan he couldn't track her, damn it, and he felt something being stuck to his forehead and then he couldn't move-!

"You haven't even listened to the terms yet. Pity." She sighed, and made as if to leave, but Itachi spoke up, surprising them both.

"Haruno-san," he murmured, only just loud enough to be heard by the both of them. Sakura stilled, and as she turned, Sasuke realised that her gaze stopped carefully at Itachi's nose, even though his brother was as sealed as Sasuke was. "I would like to hear the terms, even if my brother doesn't." he announced, and Sakura raised an eyebrow, even if her eyes didn't budge from his nose.

Sakura feared his brother. Sasuke realised with a start. Even ill as he was, with his chakra sealed and behind chakra-enforced bars, Itachi was still imposing enough to give Sakura pause.

"Orochimaru has invaded the Village." She told them bluntly, her tone devoid of any emotion. "I just thought Sasuke would like to know that his master is after him. If I were him, I would appreciate the chance to have a crack at the snake bastard, now that I don't need to keep up the farce of loyalty."

She smiled, but it wasn't a nice smile. It was vicious and bloodthirsty and dark, and Sasuke felt the same trickle of unease he used to get whenever he was the sole focus of Orochimaru's attention.

"Those are my terms, Uchiha. Keep Orochimaru away from Konoha shinobi, kill the bastard if you can, and I'll give you ten percent of your chakra back and a chance to see something outside this cell. Betray me, however, and I'll kill you." She stepped closer again and peeled the tag from his forehead with a flick of her wrist.

Sasuke tensed, but kept carefully still as she moved back, keeping a good metre between them. "You don't have the authority." He accused, and he saw a flicker of surprise flash across her eyes before she snorted.

"Uchiha, I am one of five people keyed in to your cell door." She told him flatly, and out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Itachi start. "I co-designed the seal on your arm." She gestured to the intricate matrix on his forearm that was keeping his chakra out of his reach. "And I have the favour of two foreign Kage, both of whom would like to see you hang for the trouble you caused them – there is very little I cannot do."

Sasuke took a moment to absorb that, saw the way Itachi was looking at the rosette with narrowed, assessing eyes, considered her for a moment – from the child still clinging to her back, to the samurai-like garb she was wearing and the unforgiving coldness in her eyes.

"Fine. I accept."

And then he watched as Sakura grabbed his arm, yanked up his sleeve, and pulled out an ink stone and a brush. She barked at him to hold it, and frowned, making a cup out of the hand that wasn't holding his arm, and then she poured the water that had gathered in her hand out of thin air onto the ink stone. If Sasuke had cared any more than he did, he would've gaped, because she used her chakra to draw the water out of the humidity in the air and honestly, what the fuck-?!

But then she was biting her thumb and drawing a long line on his forearm that bisected the chakra-suppressing seal, and suddenly, the matrix expanded, spider-like, until it spread to cover his whole arm. The first touch of cold ink on his arm was jarring, but the soothing, rhythmic strokes of the brush over his skin made Sasuke space out, and he wasn't even aware he'd dropped his guard until he felt the rush of chakra under his skin, refreshing like a cool breeze or fresh water and he jumped.

"I was feeling generous and gave you fifteen percent." She said mockingly, then the brush and ink stone seemed to vanish into thin air, and instead, Sakura pulled out an unsheathed katana. "You were decent with a blade when we fought." She explained when she noticed his raised eyebrow, then set to unstrapping her kunai pouch. "And I prefer shuriken anyway. Besides, I'm sending you out to keep Orochimaru busy, not get killed in the first minute. What sort of contractor would I be if I didn't make sure to arm my mercenary, hm?"

And that – Sasuke may eschew social interaction when given the choice, but even to his ears, that sounded like teasing. Or gallows humour. Still, he nodded, and when she gave him an expectant look, he bolted.

Sakura sighed.

What she just did could either buy them time, or doom them, but for now, the feeling that she killed two birds with one stone buoyed her enough to turn and face the other Uchiha.

"Uchiha-san." she addressed the man, because for all that her brain defaulted Sasuke as Uchiha, addressing his brother as that seemed like wishing for an early grave. "Same offer."

"I'll take it." He replied readily and pulled up his sleeve as Sakura set to opening the door. "And, Haruno-san?" at her quiet 'hm?', he sighed, and that had Sakura looking up, though she made sure to stop at his nose.

"You can look me in the eyes." He said, and she stilled. "Not only am I physically incapable of using my dojutsu on you at the moment, I recognise that my fate lies in Konohagakure's hands. I promise you won't come to harm if you meet my eyes."

Sakura barked a laugh, short and slightly bitter, and she felt Kei jump, plastered to her back as he was, and a wave of guilt washed over her at putting the boy through this.

"Ah, Uchiha-san," she mused as she pulled open the door, "it's not that I don't trust your word." She reassured him, and noted how he seemed to relax, if only a little. "It's that I don't trust you."

And once again, Itachi tensed, and this time, Sakura didn't feel a flicker of guilt, even at his considerably colder, "I see."

She worked on his chakra-suppressant in silence, though she refused to call it awkward. She stepped away as soon as she was done, instantly on guard, even as all Itachi did was indolently flex his fingers.

Sakura dove into her hammerspace seal and pulled out a tanto, then cautiously offered it to Sasuke's brother. "I apologise for not arming you better against a Sannin." She murmured as she let go and watched as the Uchiha strapped her weapon to his thigh. "But I know what even ten percent can amount to in the hands of someone like you."

"Someone like me?" the raven asked, and his gaze was far too perceptive as he watched her. "Or someone like us?"

Sakura drew in a sharp breath but didn't answer, choosing simply to back out of the cell. Luckily, the Uchiha took that as his cue and followed, and with one last, far-too-knowing look, he was gone. She took a moment to compose herself, then reached behind her to lightly tousle Kei's hair, let his giggle ease the vice around her heart, then bolted for the stairs.

She found one of the underground civilian shelters, left Kei in the hands of a terrified genin team and told them that their new mission was keeping the boy alive, and took off, sealing the entrance behind her as she headed for where the most destructive conflict seemed to be taking place.

Sakura passed Kotetsu and Izumo, who were tag-teaming an orange-haired giant who could grow weapons out of his body and what even? But they seemed to be doing well, so she kept going, passing by Anko and Iwashi, and some of the Rookies boxing in a small platoon of Oto forces.

She almost sagged with relief when a burst of fire caught her eye, and she noticed Aoba and Genma combining their Earth and Fire Dragon Bullets into a devastating combo-attack, both looking relatively unharmed, which thank fuck.

She headed for the area with the most destruction: just outside the gates, where the previously dense forest was flattened in a hundred metre radius and the path leading towards the Village was nowhere to be seen.

Sakura skidded to a stop just outside the danger zone, noting that Sasuke seemed to be fighting Kabuto while Itachi was trying to contain Orochimaru a few dozen feet away.

Sasuke and Kabuto sprang away from each other after the Uchiha dealt a particularly vicious and on-target cut to the medic's abdomen, but instead of being concerned by the injury, Kabuto smirked while Sasuke panted to catch his breath.

"Fucker keeps regenerating!" Sasuke spat when he noticed her presence. He let what she belatedly realised was the Sword of Kusanagi hang from the sash around his waist, Sakura's katana nowhere in sight, in favour of sending waves of lighting at the medic-nin, apparently hoping they would stop him from healing himself.

Sakura stayed behind the cover of Sasuke's towering form, absently aware of the battle between Orochimaru and Itachi going on not that far from them, while her eyes assessed Sasuke's opponent.

Kabuto's reserves were large, and his control was almost as good as her own from what she'd seen, but there was something brittle in his eyes when he smirked at Sasuke, something that Sakura initially would've called simple detachment, but upon further study, realised was more fragile than that.

Weakness. Her mind catalogued, then – I can use that.

She muted her chakra and crouched, still opting to stay behind Sasuke, the sleeves of her kimono obscuring the movement of her hands as she went through the seals for her first original genjutsu, finally perfected. She kept her movements slow, the chakra build-up gradual, till it was an overlapping net of intent that she let fall over Kabuto.

The teen froze, and the green tint of medical chakra around his stomach flickered, then disappeared as his eyes went wide behind his glasses. His mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out, until finally, a breathless, "N-Nonō?" got past his lips, and Sakura briefly registered the start the Snake Sannin gave at the name, his head turning in disbelief, but Sakura was already moving.

She pushed off from her crouch into a dead sprint, swiping the double-edged jian from Sasuke's belt as she flew past him, then she was in front of Kabuto and striking out with the sword, once, twice, till the satisfying sound of three successive thumps reached her ears.

But she was dealing with a medic who could fight and simultaneously heal any damage he sustained – Sakura wouldn't risk assuming that he couldn't recover from being quartered. She gazed dispassionately at the severed head and torso, then flashed through six more seals.

Katon: Endan, she thought, needing the name of the technique for the extra focus it granted, what with fire being the opposite of her best element, then spat three small fire bullets, fed with chakra-rich oil that caught on Kabuto's clothing then slowly penetrated the flesh.

She fed the fire chakra until Kabuto was charred remains and molten metal, and felt a twist of vindictive satisfaction, even as her stomach roiled at the stink of burnt flesh and excrement.

"Hm," a voice mused from nearby, and Sakura startled at the malevolent chakra suddenly beside her, oppressive and overwhelming yet undeniably strong. She twisted, every muscle tense, ready to spring, her chakra surging through her coils and waiting to be used at the slightest hint of danger.

Well.

Any more danger than finding Orochimaru himself mere feet away from her, looking at the remains of his once subordinate with a flicker of curiosity and amusement in his eyes. "Kabuto was my best work." He said absently, then those eerie eyes flickered to her, and Sakura felt both brothers' chakra spike dangerously, even as Itachi carefully kept Sasuke away from the Sannin. "I wonder…what jutsu did you use, little kunoichi?"

Am I dead already? Sakura thought hysterically. Because this is insane.

"My own." She answered at last, her voice far steadier than the panic and pandemonium in her head gave it any right to be. "Inspired by you, actually." She added, and this time her voice shook a little with hysteria.

She felt Orochimaru's chakra hum with interest and forcefully detached herself from the screaming S-Rank missing-nin Sannin murderer parents murderer experimented on children can squash you like a fly murderer not someone to be engaging in SMALLTALK! Inside her head and decided that she was either dead already or about to die – running her mouth wouldn't hurt.

"The day you sealed Sasuke, you told me that if I want to register as a threat, I'll need to learn that love can be a thousand times more terrifying than fear itself." She felt her lip twitch and oh god she was smirking at a Sannin. "I've always been a very good student."

Manic, sadistic glee appeared on Orochimaru's face, and the expression reminded Sakura of Anko so much she almost winced.

"I see that." His eyes flickered over her form almost lazily, sweeping over her kimono top, the hint of chest armour poking out from between the swathes of fabric, the daito on her hip and wakizashi secured to each thigh, the two headbands that marked her as an Ambassador on her throat and the one that marked her as a shinobi of Konohagakure – his Village – on her forehead. Finally, his eyes zeroed in on the Sword of Kusanagi – his sword – still held loosely in her left hand. Something in his non-expression flickered, but all he said was a thoughtful 'mm'.

And then – faster than she would have had any hope of noticing had she not been augmenting her eyes with chakra for the last minute, waiting for the barest tell that would signify danger – his tongue was shooting towards her, towards the sword in her hand, but Sakura had tightened her grip when she noted the glint of anger in his eyes when he realised she was still holding it. It was that grip that allowed Sakura to flick her wrist, all-cutting sword living up to its name and cutting through the Sannin's tongue like butter, shortening the appendage by a good metre, the sharp hiss of fury giving her enough time to jump away, create distance, survive.

"Turning a sword on its master? What a disgrace." Orochimaru hissed, the slight lisp making his already sibilant voice all the more alike that of a snake.

"Shinobi, not samurai." Sakura snapped, her heart jackhammering in her chest as if she'd ran from Konoha to Suna in one go and not jumped twenty feet. Adrenaline. She catalogued absently, noting the visible tremor that shook her hands. Cortisol and dopamine. Lovely. Still alive though.

There was that flicker of something again, amusement even through the fury, but before anything more could be said or done, a wild chakra appeared in the trees, drawing closer, and Sakura shuddered with relief when it materialised right beside her, allowing herself to lean ever so slightly against Anko when the woman pressed close to her side.

"Senpai." She breathed, the word as much of a prayer as a sob, pressing closer still to hear the determined ba-thump of her heart, the sound a grounding reassurance. Anko's hand found its way to the small of her back, and Sakura felt the light sting of her nails biting into her skin even through her kimono.

And as her eyes never left Orochimaru through that entire reunion, she didn't miss the moment the Sannin's own eyes narrowed speculatively, a sly smirk gracing his features.

"Ah, it seems my prized student got herself a student of her own." He mused, and suddenly he was right there, close enough to touch and his hand was rising to touch Anko's face, Sakura's senpai still too stunned to react beyond a minute widening of her eyes.

"Tell me, is she as loyal as you were at that age?" and then his hand was inches away from Anko's cheek and Sakura saw red.

She hissed, grabbing the back of Anko's trench coat and shunshining a few metres back, anything to put space between them and the crazed Sannin, Orochimaru's own sword drawn and pointed at his throat.

"How cute," the man drawled, and Sakura never wanted to hear that adjective from his mouth ever again, "but Anko-chan's still mine, little kunoichi. She bears my gift, you know."

Sakura bared her teeth in a snarl of a smile, the furious, feral, possessive part firmly behind the wheel, heeding to the small voice in her mind that was crying notAnkonotAnkoNotANKO! And hissing out a very satisfied, "Not anymore. Your brand was always weak but now it's off."

And then she was being flung aside, sent flying, the arm Orochimaru had grabbed breaking in his hold, the bone tearing through the skin of her forearm. Her back crashed painfully against one of the trees, her neck snapping forward with the force of the whiplash. When she managed to blink the black spots from her vision, she saw that Orochimaru was in front of her senpai, his hand keeping her trench coat away from her shoulder as he studied what remained of his seal. Sakura was suddenly aware that she never stood a chance, that the Sannin was humouring her the whole time and she felt-!

-she didn't have time to feel, because Itachi was suddenly beside her, his hand extended for the paper tag she was unconsciously palming in her good hand, his eyes trained on Orochimaru and his chakra suppressed. She handed it over, murmuring 'seals the chakra and paralyses the body', watching as he gave a curt nod and disappeared.

Not a second later, he was slapping his hand to the bare skin of Orochimaru's forehead and Sakura flared her chakra, shoving as much of it into the seal as it could take, watching as the Sannin froze as she stilled his muscles, quashed his chakra and wrestled the control of his own body from him. Then Itachi darted closer, hit the pressure point on the back of the neck, and Orochimaru crumpled.

Sakura picked herself up, grabbed the jian she'd dropped on impact, and shunshined to Anko's side, ignoring the way her back crunched and her whole body felt like a big, trapped nerve – vertebrae out of alignment, concussion, whiplash, oblique displacement of the radius – instead waiting till Anko's eyes focused on her, a tiny smile breaking out on her face when they finally did.

And then, two massive chakra signatures approached them, and all Sakura could think of was danger.

Jiraiya burst through the trees, having felt the moment his old teammate's chakra suddenly disappeared – he'd fought with Orochimaru for many years, once, a long time ago – he knew that even summoning Manda only took about a quarter of Orochimaru's reserves, and the snake was the King of his species; he dreaded to think about the sheer disastrous potential of any technique that could reduce his chakra to that of a genin would have.

What he wasn't expecting to stumble on, however, was the scene that greeted him.

Orochimaru was on the ground, breathing, but unmoving apart from that, his chakra suppressed instead of used up; Itachi was behind him, looking – as much as Uchiha could emote – surprised, a kunai in his hand, turned instinctively towards the new threat; Anko stood in front of her old sensei, turned towards the new arrivals, wide-eyed and still clearly shaken from whatever had transpired beforehand.

But most damning of all was the girl crouched protectively in front of Anko, the same pinkette that seemed to be popping up everywhere Jiraiya looked recently, and every time involved in a more bizarre situation than the one before. This time, she was crouched, ready to spring, the look in her eyes verging on feral and telegraphing with every line of her body that she would not hesitate to kill should they prove to be a threat. Then Jiraiya noticed the fact that her right arm was hanging limply at her side and his eyes were drawn to the very visible shard of bone that had ripped through flesh and fabric alike, and the blood that was dripping down the rosette's forearm and off of her fingers, staining the sleeve of her once-pristine kimono a muddy brown. Then he noticed the very familiar double-edged jian clutched in her left hand, pointed threateningly at him and Kakashi from the moment they burst through the foliage.

Jiraiya heard Kakashi make an odd sound at the sight of his old student, either at the fact that she was surrounded by two S-Rank missing-nin and the student of one, or the fact that the way she was very obviously injured and should not have been standing much less looking ready to protect Anko come hell or high water.

"What's going on here?" Jiraiya demanded as he touched down, noting that neither Itachi nor Haruno relaxed in the least, even if the rosette slid out of her defensive crouch and the kunai Itachi had been holding disappeared from sight. When nobody spoke, Jiraiya infused his voice with the authority the title of Toad Sage and a member of Dentetsu no Sannin demanded. "Report!"

"I had been fighting the Sannin while my brother fought his assistant for about ten minutes, when Haruno-san arrived." Itachi began, casting a glance at the teenager when it was clear she wouldn't be the one to answer first. "My brother, from what I could see, was…struggling, with his opponent."

"Kabuto. He was a medic-nin. He could regenerate whatever damage he sustained." Haruno murmured, poking absently at the bone sticking out of her arm with a green-glowing finger.

"…Indeed." Itachi continued, only slightly thrown by the addition. "Haruno-san used genjutsu and managed to disorient the medic long enough to behead him and burn his remains." Jiraiya very determinedly did not think about the quality of genjutsu needed to trap someone who had been Orochimaru's assistant – that would be a crisis for another time.

"At that point, the Sannin disengaged from our battle and moved to engage Haruno-san. I sent my brother off to help with the Otogakure forces. I…wasn't aware what transpired in the exchange." Itachi continued, turning to Haruno at the same time as Jiraiya and Kakashi did the same.

(Jiraiya noticed the way Anko's hand moved to the rosette's back, the split second the girl closed her eyes and soaked up the support before she answered and adamantly did not think-!)

"He wanted to know what technique I used. Then he attacked me to get his sword back and I cut off his tongue." Haruno recalled blandly, not raising her eyes from her injury, wincing slightly as she forced the shard of bone back under the skin. "Senpai came after that."

Taking the blunt cue for what it was, Anko sighed. "He realised Sakura was mine. He wanted to know if she was– if she was as loyal as I used to be to him."

"Of course I am." The rosette interrupted, looking up from her arm for the first time and shooting Anko a sharp smile. "You're my senpai."

Anko grinned, equally sharp and looking the most like her usual self since Jiraiya arrived, and continued: "Then he said how I was still his, how I bore his mark."

"But I removed the seal a few weeks ago. He didn't like that." Sakura finished, smirking as she inspected her forearm, and Jiraiya realised what he wasn't seeing – she'd healed herself.

Then, the significance of her words sunk in and he whirled on the girl, noting the way she tensed and made to grab her sword.

"What do you mean you removed it?" he demanded, and the girl visibly bristled.

"I mean that if Konoha's resident seal master had ever bothered to look at Anko's Cursed Seal instead of going off on a jolly around the Elemental Nations, he would've realised that it was dormant and seen it for what it was." She hissed, and Jiraiya couldn't quite hold back the way he recoiled at her words. "The seal includes a trace of Orochimaru's chakra, yes, that's what grants the user the additional power and the disgusting Second Stage that swayed the Uchiha. But before that, in order for the snake's chakra that's in the seal to merge with the chakra network of his target, it needs the user's will."

She paused, waiting for the words to sink in, and Jiraiya noted that the hand Anko had on the girl's back had moved to wrap around her hip. She knew, then.

"You have to reach out and accept the seal's chakra, and you have to want to use it. Senpai never did. For all that this Village paints her as the snake's dutiful protégé, she never wanted the seal or its power. After being denied for so long, the seal went dormant. It was little more than a brand in the last few years. Removing it was about as difficult as drawing poison from an open wound."

Jiraiya…stared.

Itachi stood behind the girl, and so the Sannin had a clear view of the slight awe and… apprehension in the eldest Uchiha's expression. He didn't know what to make of that.

"Wait." Kakashi spoke up, for the first time since they entered the battlefield, his voice oddly choked up. "Are you saying- Sasuke- Forest of- I could have-?"

The unimpressed eyebrow the girl levelled at the Copy-Nin would've made Tsunade proud. "Am I saying that if you had gotten over your martyr complex and taken your old sensei's fuinjutsu journals after the Nine Tails' attack, you would've known that the Five Elements seal would've been much more useful for removing Sasuke's Curse Mark than the Evil Sealing method and therefore saved us all a fair bit of effort and angst and potentially prevented the Uchiha from going to the snake in the first place? Yes, that is precisely what I'm saying."

Then, she had the gall to shrug, ignoring the way Kakashi staggered and the blank, disbelieving look painted on Jiraiya's face.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to pop my spine back into place." And so saying, she disappeared, not a leaf out of place or trace of chakra to betray she was ever there in the first place.

Then, Orochimaru stirred, and his kimono parted widely enough to reveal a large, faded seal on his chest, and Jiraiya froze.

Well, fuck.

As always, tell me what you thought!

Till next time!