hello and welcome back!
after almost two months of inactivity, here i am again!
i have little to say in regards to excuses apart from: uni, part-time job, sport and looking for placements. i dont suppose any of you have a job i could do in spain next summer for six months? no? sad. would've saved me a lot of this 'job application' fuckery. ew.
in terms of chapter content! things! are! gonna! get! BETTER! (eventually)
i'd definitely say we're around the 3/4 mark for this story, as there's realistically only about two more arcs i wanna squeeze in before calling this done, so we'll see, maybe i'll manage in a year, maybe not *sweatdrops*
a lot of ninja-therapy-nonsense in this, potentially triggering flashback around the 1/3 mark of this chapter - written to be intentionally NOT-FUN, so beware.
also, i am forever amused by the small but dedicated group of y'all fighting Yuki's corner. he's probably the third thing i'm most proud of when it comes to this story, so thank you, your love for him means a lot 3
Sasuke, while not making a direct appearance in this chapter, will stay for a few more installments as i love my sulky homicidal baby, and he can be a lot of fun to write. (for those of you who haven't, go read 'In Good Company' by weialala and the sequel 'Ragnarok' - it made me love Sasuke, and is like 78% of the reason why i write him the way i write him)
also - to those saying the pairings are unnecessary/came out of nowhere/feel forced/are just there cause 'gen' fics dont get readers - suck. my. willy.
and please refer to the A/N in chapter 25: MY KINGDOM NOW. here there be Headcanon Land
now, without further ado, ENJOY
Sakura had been stunned to find that their house had survived the blast of Pein's jutsu, and still stood, alone among the debris that was left of their neighbourhood, like a beacon to guide them home.
She turned disbelieving eyes to Genma, who grinned wryly and shrugged at the wordless question. "I reinforced the walls after that ROOT attack. I meant to test the seal at some point, but, well. I guess it passed."
Sakura walked around the house, taking in the undamaged walls and roof, the windows being the only casualty, the glass shattered into hundreds of shards and scattered on the ground, unable to contain her relief at still having a home to come back to, unlike most of the villagers.
"Passed with flying colours, I'd say." She corrected with a small smile and made her way inside.
She made a beeline for the kitchen and was surprised to find running water when she turned the tap, even more so when she found in-date food in the cupboards. Not much, and only processed or tinned, but, still. It'd been almost a month since she'd last been at their house for longer than a minute or two, and if she'd heard right, Genma had been couch-surfing between Aoba, Iwashi and Raido's houses, so he wouldn't have gone shopping either in that time.
"Are you cooking?" Genma demanded as he stepped into the house, one eyebrow rising as he spotted her, his tone disbelieving.
"What?" Sakura asked, suddenly defensive. "I'm hungry."
Genma laughed incredulously and ran a hand through his hair, ever-present bandana absent. "The world as we know it almost ended, we both died and were brought back to life by a self-proclaimed god, half the Village is in ruins and you're thinking about food?" he snorted. "Are you sure you aren't part Akimichi?"
Sakura shrugged, ripped open a wrapper with melonpan, and ostentatiously shoved the whole bun in her mouth, not dropping the eye-contact with Genma.
"Okay, okay, point made!" the brunet laughed, stripping off his grimy shirt and throwing it onto the floor by the sofa, heedless of the unimpressed eyebrow Sakura levelled at him. "Can you find something for me as well?"
"What? The world almost ended and you're thinking about food?" Sakura mocked, throwing his words back at him with a laugh, but it must've been sharper than she'd intended because Genma paused for a split-second before he let out a wry chuckle.
"Again, point made." He acknowledged, but still managed to catch the packet of pocky she lobbed at him. "So, what now?" he asked as he settled on the sofa, leaning over the armrest to crack his back, and Sakura was treated to the sudden realisations that there were at least three more scars on Genma's torso than she'd been aware of. She was suddenly distinctly aware of just how long it'd been since they'd had a chance to have a quiet moment like this, and something in her chest clenched.
"Sakura?" Genma asked, and she tuned in enough to realise he'd been waving his hand in front of her face, though he stopped as soon as her eyes focused. "Sorry. You spaced out on me."
"Sorry." Sakura parroted. "Was just… thinking."
"Yeah, you don't say?" he sighed, but the question was more sympathetic than sarcastic. "This whole invasion has been such a shitshow." He mumbled, and Sakura snorted. Apt.
"And a psychological shitstorm." She added, because the entire 'resurrection' deal was a Pandora's Box in her mind, shoved into the furthermost corner of her consciousness until Inoichi could open it. "What do you think is going to happen now?" she asked quietly, not daring to speak any louder even if the main threat had been dealt with.
Genma blew out a gusty sigh and leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs, head hanging low. "Hell if I know." He confessed, then lifted his head and gave Sakura a measured look. "There are still some Akatsuki loitering about. The issue of the bijuu concerns all Villages, even if there are only two left. We may need to call in allies, ask some favours, outsource missions until we can rebuild, both, the Village, and the morale… I don't envy Tsunade a single bit."
"Why? And is the Village's morale really that low?"
"At the moment? No. Most should still be riding on the adrenaline rush of dying-but-not-really, or defeating Pein. But it will drop. Survivor's guilt will rear its ugly head. The hospital will be busy with suicide watch, the psychologists and therapists – or simply, the Yamanaka Clan – will be needed on-shift almost full-time for the next few weeks, and that'll take up a lot of the funding we have left. And amidst all that, Tsunade will have to start thinking about rebuilding, calling in specialist tradesmen, builders, carpenters, reassuring the civilian population… god, just thinking about this is giving me a headache, and I'm not even Hokage." Genma groaned when he was done, and Sakura just sat there for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape.
"How do you know this?" Sakura demanded at last, more than a little taken aback.
Genma blinked slowly, seemingly baffled, then tried for a grin but it fell short. "I've lived it before." He said simply. "And the Sandaime may have been Hokage during the Third War, but it was Minato who had to deal with its effects." When Sakura's expression didn't change, his grin turned a bit more real. "I was on the Guard Platoon, remember?"
Somehow, first through living with the man for over five years, then through being partners, then through being mad at him, then through dying, Sakura had forgotten the age-difference between them. Genma was just… Genma. Incredible, talented, meticulous, good-humoured, caring Genma.
The fact that he was also a veteran of the Third Shinobi War and the Kyuubi Attack didn't register on most days.
Now it did.
"How long did it take, before? You know – rebuilding?" she asked carefully, both wanting to hear the answer and dreading it.
Genma considered her for a few seconds, thoughtful, then said, "All in all? About half a decade."
And while Sakura sat there, trying to process the exact implications of his words, he stretched and offered her a tired grin. "But don't worry about it. Konoha's gone through this before and came out on top; it'll be okay, it'll just take some time to get there." He stood up and dropped his hand to Sakura's hair and fondly ruffled her bangs, grin growing softer when she unconsciously leaned into the touch. "Try to get some sleep, kid. God knows we need it."
And with those words, he left, taking the stairs slowly and with care, and it was only when his back was turned that Sakura finally saw the bone-deep weariness etched into his posture.
She surprised herself when her jaw cracked on a yawn. Huh. Maybe sleep is a good idea.
Getting up from the sofa took more effort than many a training session she'd ever put herself through, but as she fell onto her bed and felt her head hit the pillow, it barely registered.
She was asleep in seconds.
When Sakura awoke, she felt like she was floating; she was the kind of sleepy well-rested that felt like that pleasant stage of tipsy: warm, comfortable and relaxed. Apart from the fact that her mouth tasted like something had died in it and she still reeked of blood and death, she could've stayed in bed for the rest of eternity.
A warm, long shower later, she was clean of the battle and smelling of citrus and lavender, and she felt more human than she had in days.
As she made her way into the kitchen, she found Genma already there, sprawled on the sofa, as well as, to her great surprise, Iwashi, Aoba, Raido and Eri, not-so-little-anymore Kei perched on her lap.
"Sakura-nee!" the boy cheered when he spotted her, and Sakura waved back, then nodded at the assortment of adults she more or less considered friends.
"Morning." She greeted around a yawn, as she started rummaging around the cupboards for breakfast.
"Try 'mid-afternoon', but sure, kid." Aoba replied, and Sakura did a double-take and checked the clock, startled when 14:41 stared back at her.
"Huh."
Genma snorted and Eri sent her a fond smile, then they went back to their earlier conversation, and Sakura set about making breakfast largely uninterrupted.
A familiar chakra appeared when she was almost done with her toast, and when she raised her head, she found Yuki crouched on the sill of their destroyed window, also cleaned up and dressed, oddly enough, in the standard Konoha navy.
She couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on her face if she tried.
"Yuki!" she greeted, letting the assassin hop down and wrap her in a hug, twirling her round before he set her down.
"Hey, pinky-chan." He grinned, then tugged on the end of her ponytail. "Now c'mon, we've got a shrink to see!"
Sakura was absently aware that the conversation in the living room had stopped, but she ignored it and narrowed her eyes at Yuki instead.
"I didn't book an appointment." She pointed out, jabbing a finger into the assassin's chest. "What did you do?"
The innocent mask Yuki adopted at her words was faultless, and it was precisely the reason why Sakura did not believe a single word that came out of his mouth.
"What did I do? Honestly, pinky-chan, the disrespect. All I did was walk in and ask the kind lady at the reception for an appointment in your name." he replied, and smiled like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
Sakura, despite herself, found herself amused. "Oh, yeah? Then what's my patient registration number?" she asked, laughing inwardly when his eyes widened minutely. Gotcha. "Come on, what did you do? What damage should I expect?"
Yuki grinned, all pretence of innocence gone. "I may have henged into you and burst out crying in the reception. Reckon I met your shrink as well. Tall, blue eyed, blond ponytail, cheekbones you could cut yourself on?"
"You just described half the Yamanaka." Sakura snorted, distantly aware that humour should not be the reaction to Yuki's confession, but she found it difficult to bring herself to care. "How many people saw?"
"Eh, not that many. Maybe a dozen." He shrugged, "What matters is – you've got yourself an appointment in fifteen minutes!"
"You're unbelievable." Sakura laughed, "But thanks. Help yourself to some food, I'm gonna change."
Five minutes later, she was ready and walking out of the house, Yuki by her side. She'd spent most of those five minutes staring at her wardrobe, trying hard to combine old Sakura with new Sakura, until she eventually pulled out a grey turtleneck, black hakama pants, a twin pair of her trusty boots which had perished in the first wave of Pein's attack, and her flak jacket.
She had died once already; she reckoned she could leave her chest armour – and her paranoia – at home.
When the door shut behind them, Aoba turned to Genma with an odd expression on his face.
"Tell me that was as weird to you as it seemed to me?" he asked, and Genma snorted but nodded.
"Honestly, at this stage, I think it might be easier to get Inoichi to screw patient confidentiality and tell me what's going on than to get the kid to talk." He sighed, getting a sarcastic there-there pat on the shoulder from Iwashi.
"Or just ask Sakura-chan's boyfriends." Eri piped in, shifting Kei so he was perched more securely on her lap. "Shikamaru-kun and the Mist boy, Chojuro-kun – they should know."
Genma gaped.
"I'm sorry, ask her what now?!"
Inoichi wasn't sure what to make of the S-Ranked assassin following his patient into the room and throwing himself on the hospital bed like it was his personal lounger.
Sakura, following his gaze, sighed, though her lip quirked into a small smile. "I'd prefer it if he stayed, Inoichi-san. If you don't mind."
Inoichi gave the man another narrow-eyed stare, but he'd already shut his eyes and seemed to be, for all intents and purposes, dozing. "…Of course, Sakura-chan." He smiled, and gestured at the padded armchair as he sat down by his desk. "So, what brings you to me today? It's been a good few months since our last chat, hasn't it?"
"I…" Sakura's eyes darted in the direction of the lounging assassin, almost panicked, before her resolve seemed to firm. Inoichi's eyes narrowed slightly at the action, curious, though he made sure his welcoming smile never dropped. "I haven't been completely honest with you, Inoichi-san."
A snort came from the man on the bed.
Inoichi was about to ask him to behave or leave, but Sakura grew more serious, resolute, and squared her shoulders. "Actually, that's a lie. I know I haven't been completely honest with you."
Inoichi carefully opened his notepad and grabbed a pen. "And what, exactly, have you been keeping from me, Sakura-chan?" He asked calmly, trying to keep a straight face. As worrying as this was, it was also progress!
"One of the first things you taught me was how to compartmentalise. If, for whatever reason, I can't or don't want to deal with something at the moment it happens, I've become very good at pushing it to the back of my mind and keeping it under lock and key until the moment I can address it." Sakura began, and Inoichi nodded, encouraging, but already having an inkling as to where the teen was going and dreading it.
"Hypothetically," she began, and the assassin chuckled, "what would happen if all those unpleasant events or thoughts or feelings were just… left there? Never addressed, never processed, just… there?"
"Hypothetically," Inoichi echoed, choosing his words carefully but also trying to drive home just how bad that situation would be, "it would render the individual incredibly volatile. Unexpected, seemingly random words or events could become triggers. Depending on how much was repressed, should a trigger appear, it could lead to inexplicable panic attacks, poor temper, or even a massive loss of control."
He saw Sakura's face drain of colour, and offered her a wry smile. "Hypothetically, of course."
"Of course." Sakura murmured, sounding oddly hollow, though she jerked to awareness when the assassin sat up.
"It's occurred to me that this session would take obnoxiously long if we just chat about all of pinky-chan's issues. So, shrink-san," he turned to Inoichi with a sharp smile, "to my understanding, your Clan specialises in some fancy mind-possession, no? Get to it."
Inoichi barely kept himself from sputtering in indignation, grinding his teeth at the measured insolence of the Mist-nin. "The Shintenshin is a mind-walk technique, and it can absolutely not be used in the medical context without the patient's consent, so I'd appreciate it if you-!"
"I consent." Sakura's voice was quiet, but it cut through Inoichi's sudden rage like a knife through butter.
"Sorry?"
Sakura kept her eyes closed and reached out towards the assassin. The man sobered up and stepped closer, gripping her hand and laying the other on her shoulder.
"I consent." When she opened her eyes, the expression in them was serious. Determined. "Yuki is right, Inoichi-san. Please."
It took him a few seconds, but when the determination on Sakura's face didn't wane, Inoichi sighed and gathered his chakra. A single seal later, he was in.
He wasn't sure quite what he expected.
Every mindscape was different – some were corridors, some meadows, some organised chaos, others pure chaos of disorganised minds, either untrained in the art of resisting interrogation or confident in their ability to never let it get that far.
Sakura's was entirely different.
He found himself at the top of the Hokage Monument, under a clear blue sky, and before him stretched Konoha.
No, not Konoha.
Memories.
A patchwork of snapshots of memories playing like film on flatscreens, cycling through memory after memory at such a speed he could barely recognise the faces. It took him a moment to realise why he initially thought he was looking at the Village – every memory was placed exactly where he recalled the Clan grounds to be in the Village proper. Tsume's face flashed at him from the north-west, directly over the Inuzuka compound. Hyuuga Hiashi followed by an odd bunch of scrolls appeared directly to Tsume's right. Shikaku far-north, Anko and Ibiki where he knew T&I would be, Genma in the Jounin Standby Station, Genma at the training grounds, Kakashi in the hospital, Tsunade in the Hokage's Office –
Inoichi was getting dizzy.
"Huh."
He jumped.
As he whipped around, he was greeted with a – an outline, for a lack of a better term – like chalk on a blackboard, of Sakura. She had her arms stretched in front of her and seemed to be considering them almost absently, before her eerie, pupil-less white eyes rose to meet his.
"Interesting."
Inoichi could think of many other words to describe what was happening, and 'interesting' was none of them.
"Sakura?" he asked carefully, unsure if he was speaking to the manifestation of his patient's psyche or if the girl had actually found a way to possess his possession jutsu.
"Yes, Inoichi-san?" she replied, a lot calmer than she had been in his office, though he wasn't quite sure whether it was genuine calm behind her words or apathy caused by shock. "How are you here?"
She seemed to be considering her answer, and Inoichi was momentarily struck by how bizarre a translucent human was.
"I have a… theory." she said at last. "When I was younger, there was a voice in my head."
Inoichi wondered how many more things he was going to hear for the first time in this session.
"A split personality, or just a psychotic break, I don't know. I called her Inner Sakura. She was the antithesis of what my parents raised me to be – brash, aggressive, impulsive, outspoken. She said everything I wanted to say in my head, so I never had to say it out loud. Every time I forgot something, I had a personal search tool in my head that could navigate the database of my memories and find what I'd forgotten. It worked."
Sakura seemed to realise that defending a mental illness wasn't the 'normal' reaction and snorted.
"Anyway, I never told you about it because I hadn't heard from her since before the Chunin Exams. But, thinking about it now, it might explain, well." She swept a hand to encompass the ridiculously extensive mindscape. "It might explain this."
"And the memories you repressed?" he asked, dreading the answer.
Sakura gestured east of where they were standing, where, were this Konoha proper, he would've seen the looming tower of the Forest of Death. Instead, there was a fortress, overgrown with vines and thorns which were looped over it like chains, tethering it to the ground. Inoichi didn't have to be a psychologist to feel the storm of malevolent chakra and negative emotion that surrounded the building, and he didn't miss the fact that the whole structure seemed to shake every few seconds like there was a tiny, localised earthquake right underneath.
Or like something massive was trying to get out.
"In the nicest possible way, Sakura-chan," he said, absently, already reeling with the experience of this mindscape, "when we use the expression 'under lock and key', we don't literally mean 'lock your memories away in a fortress like some mockery of a bedtime story'."
Sakura – or her id, or her psychosis, he wasn't even sure at this point – merely laughed.
"I think the Forest of Death was the first time I was truly desperate." She explained, seeming thoughtful. "It was the first time I genuinely thought I was going to die. Maybe that's why it's there."
Inoichi didn't even have the energy to verbalise how not-good that was.
Instead, he said, "I'll need you to let whatever's in there out."
Sakura was translucent, an animated chalk outline on a blackboard, but Inoichi still felt he saw her blanch.
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Inoichi-san." She tried weakly, but Inoichi was tired.
"You consented to a mind-walk, Sakura-chan." He reminded her wearily, and saw the moment the meaning of his words registered. "Do it, please."
"That's not what I-! I meant to say that I genuinely don't know what will happen." She confessed, and her voice shook.
Inoichi smiled. "Guess we'll find out together, hm?"
Sakura didn't seem convinced, but she turned towards the fortress and concentrated. Slowly, the vines receded, and the shaking grew in frequency and ferocity.
Then, the world exploded into screams and snapshots of colour.
Earth wrapping around her leg, the agony of shattered bone, fever, hairline cracks in her sanity, madness creeping in, lurking just outside of reach, waiting till he lets her guard down-!
Darkness and fear, green-glowing hands on the shattered chest of an ally, a friend, blond hair and blue, blue eyes, blood and fear and hope, finally, hope and satisfaction, then pain, darkness, despair-!
Sharingan, anger, fear, Anko, senpai, no, no, not senpai! grief, pain, anger, rage, revenge-!
Death and destruction by her hand, flickers of purple chakra, remains of a barrier, death in a mile-radius, fear, of herself, of their world, but relief because Genma was safe-!
The feeling of her fingers wrapping around an eyeball, pulling and pulling till it gave, like a squishy, slimy egg in her fingers, nerves and blood-vessels still attached, so powerful yet not, because she had won, but if this is victory then why is she screaming-!
Orochimaru, fear, Genma or Kei, an elderly woman dead on her porch, two brothers' lives in her hands, the last of her morality gone with the wind, her mark on their skin, but she never said, never told them they could die at her command-!
Orochimaru, Genma, betrayal, hurthurthurt, don't touch me, Orochimaru, fear, can't trust, won't trust, terror and- nothing. blank. quiet. cold. -and panic, fear, choking, Shikamaru, Chojuro, help-!
Darkness, death, her hands in a lung, her knife on a throat, her needle in an eye, her poison in the food, her hands choking, beating, stabbing, cutting, killing, killing, KILLING-!
Pain, pain, dying, love, Shika, Cho, love, Genma, no! not Genma! nonono, darkness, sadness, PAIN, darkdarkdark d e a d-!
Alive! …alive? W H Y?!
– Inoichi finally managed to wrench himself out of the onslaught of memories long enough to flare his chakra and terminate his technique, then he was flung back in his seat in his office and bending over, emptying the contents of his stomach into the plastic trashcan under his desk.
Slowly, once he stopped heaving, he sat up and wiped his mouth, and his eyes fell on his patient.
She hadn't thrown up, but she was pale and shivering, leaning all her weight on the assassin who'd materialised by her side and looked terrified, but the look in Sakura's eyes was viciously satisfied.
"I told you it wasn't a good idea." She rasped, leaning back more fully against the assassin and shooting him a grateful look when he moved to accommodate her.
Inoichi didn't even know where to start.
"I'm sorry for making you relive that, Sakura-chan." He said at last, "But I'm not sorry it's out. Hopefully, with sufficient sleep, regular appointments and meditation, your mind will be able to absorb and process those memories naturally."
He ignored the way Sakura's face scrunched up at the mention of 'meditation'.
"And for future reference; never let it get to more than two or three 'locked up' memories, or we'll go through this all over again." He warned her, then pulled out his prescription pad.
"I'm prescribing you sleeping pills. Estazolam. But Sakura-chan, look at me." He didn't continue until the girl's eyes met his. "One pill, every other night. Not more. I don't think I need to tell you how bad a documented addiction would look on your file."
Sakura rolled her eyes. "I am a medic-nin, Inoichi-san."
Inoichi nailed her with a hard, unimpressed stare. "A medic-nin who couldn't recognise the symptoms of a heart-attack?"
He didn't miss how the girl recoiled, how the assassin at her side looked at him curiously, then at Sakura with mounting concern.
Inoichi pinned him with a sharp glare.
"You, Terror." He demanded, colder than usual, and watched the assassin turn to him, concern fading into amusement at the address. "I assume you're here because, for whatever reason, you don't think Sakura-chan would have been 100% honest with me on her own." The smile he got in return sent shivers down his spine. He picked up the bottle of pills and the prescription slip to avoid looking at it. "One pill, every other day. Rest, support, and regular appointments. I'm flagging Sakura-chan as a medium-risk patient, so it should get her mild priority when it comes to booking the appointments. But she has to come, at least for the first month."
He watched the assassin absorb that, then surrendered the bottle and prescription when he reached for them.
"Gotcha, shrink-san." The raven murmured, still cheerful but more serious than Inoichi expected when he eyed the pills. "Is that all?"
Inoichi turned to Sakura with a softer expression this time, a smile on his face. "Sakura-chan?"
The teen eyed him curiously, but nodded. "I'm good. Thank you, Inoichi-san. See you next week." She stood up, waiting until the assassin did the same, then Inoichi watched as they fell into step and walked out of his office.
He sighed, deflating, a single hand rising to rub at his temples tiredly, nose screwing up when the acrid stench of his own vomit reached him.
God, between Kakashi and Sakura, he might have to start seeing a shrink of his own.
"Well," Sakura began, once they were a safe distance away from the therapist, "that was eventful."
Yuki snorted. "You let blondie into your head and he kicked shit about until he made himself vomit? Yeah, I'd call that eventful."
This time, Sakura couldn't help laughing as she walked down the ruined main street, catching the bottle of pills when Yuki lobbed it at her head. The reconstruction efforts had already started, and she could spot various genin teams lugging debris to and from the worst destruction sites.
"Pretty much, yeah." She agreed. "Weirdly enough, now that it's out, I feel better."
Yuki actually stopped walking this time, turning until he faced her, the grin on his face at odds with the serious look in his eyes. "Pinky-chan." He began, grin fading to a smile that played around the corners of his mouth. "You let a seasoned psychologist, a veteran of two wars, and a man who has likely seen the minds of the worst of our lot on the battlefields if he's halfway competent with his ability, into your mind, and he threw up after the shit he saw. I'm not surprised you feel better."
Sakura met Yuki's unusually serious gaze with her own, then nodded, allowing the weight of the words to register and settle. You let it get too far, she read between the lines, don't do it again.
"Thank you." She said instead, trying for a smile, surprised when it felt genuine, albeit small. After a moment of deliberation, she handed the bottle of sleeping pills to him as well and resumed walking. "Are we going anywhere specific?"
"Nara Compound." Yuki replied, not a hint of hesitation in his voice, even at Sakura's raised eyebrow. "Shrink-san said rest and support." When her expression didn't change, he smirked. "You have two, overprotective, mother-henning boyfriends now, pinky-chan. I'm just the delivery boy."
Sakura groaned, slumping dramatically. "You're releasing me into Shikamaru's tender mercies? I won't be able to do anything for at least three days!" she wailed, but even she knew not to resist beyond the token protest.
Seeing the memories she had repressed, had forgotten about in a way, play out like some twisted horror film, then seeing Inoichi's reaction to it – it had given her perspective. And Yuki was right – she had let it get too far.
It took dying and being confronted with her own nightmares for her to admit it.
"Rest, pinky-chan." Yuki reminded her with a tone of amused long-suffering. "It'll do you good."
They walked in silence for a few minutes, admiring the clean-up and reconstruction efforts, before an idea struck Sakura.
"How did you know?" she asked, frowning. "How did you know about me and Shika and Chojuro? I haven't even told Genma yet, but you knew yesterday."
Yuki shrugged, then sent her a sharp-toothed grin. "Would you believe me if I said Ao and I had bets running on this?" he asked, and even through her laughter, Sakura shook her head. "Just intuition, really. It was bound to happen."
Sakura sobered at that, and considered his words. Then, she snorted. "Y'know, I never actually turned down your proposal."
She almost laughed again at the momentary panic on Yuki's face as he tried to remember, and delighted when he snorted.
"You don't have to. You can just leave it as a surprise for when you feel like giving people heart attacks." He told her with an unholy grin and a conspiratorial glint in his eyes. "Unless you want the sword back?"
Sakura returned the grin, only sharper. "Not unless you want Kubikiribocho back. I've grown quite fond of it."
Yuki looked disgusted. "God no. That'd be like performing an operation and substituting a scalpel for a sledgehammer. No, thank you." He pretended to shudder before he laughed, short and sharp and wicked. "Consider it the first part of our yui-no."
Sakura's eyes widened, and she couldn't fight the blush that rose up, even as she smacked Yuki's arm in embarrassment. "I thought the first gift was supposed to be a naga-noshi?" she demanded, teasing even as she valiantly willed her blush down.
Yuki shrugged. "Never been one for tradition. Besides, this is more fun, no?"
She was about to reply when she realised they had already reached the Nara Compound and she could see a very familiar blue head through one of the windows.
Sakura darted ahead, jumping through the open window and all but tackling Chojuro in a hug, barely paying attention when Yuki followed her in and spoke to Shikamaru, too overwhelmed with emotions to care about what was being said.
"I'm so glad you're a-alright." Chojuro whispered by her ear and Sakura felt his arms tighten around her waist. Then she was being whisked out of Chojuro's hold and pulled into Shikamaru's, and this time, Sakura didn't bother fighting the relieved sob that escaped.
She absently registered Yuki's chakra signature grow more and more distant then disappear completely, but before she could pay it too much attention, she was pushed off balance.
Sakura toppled onto the sofa, felt a blanket get thrown over her head, and two warm bodies settle on either side of her. Once she fought the blanket down, she shot both boys a baffled look.
"What's this?" she demanded, indicating the blanket cocoon and the two teens acting as weights, holding it down.
"R&R." Shikamaru told her seriously, completely deadpan as he added, "Doctor's orders." And held up the prescription slip from Inoichi.
"Be glad he's using the blanket and not his shadows." Chojuro added, and Sakura was shocked to find a pink tinge spill over Shikamaru's cheeks.
"Got a bit overprotective, did you?" she teased, freeing her hand to tug on Shikamaru's ponytail, earning herself a huff for her actions.
"Troublesome woman." He sighed. "I wouldn't have to get 'overprotective' as you call it if my friends would just stop dying on me."
Sakura and Chojuro rolled their eyes almost simultaneously. "Honestly, Shika, that was two days ago. Will you let it go already?"
They sat in silence for a few seconds, eyes flickering between each other's faces, measuring reactions, before all three gave in and burst out laughing, shaking uncontrollably and unable to stop until there were tears coming out of their eyes.
"God, we're fucked up." Shikamaru sighed and slumped so his head lay over Sakura's lap, a smile nonetheless pulling at his lips.
"Mmhm." Sakura agreed, tangling her fingers with Chojuro's and squeezing. "Still reckon I got you beat, though."
Chojuro snorted. "N-no contest." He agreed, and Sakura smiled fondly when his other hand automatically found Shikamaru's hair and started petting it absently.
"Right," the Nara mumbled, eyes already closed, looking like he wasn't planning on moving for a while, "I'm ordering nap time. Non-negotiable."
Sakura smiled at that and obligingly closed her eyes, letting her head droop onto Chojuro's shoulder.
She didn't think she could put into words how immensely glad she was that the wordless understanding they'd reached in their dying moments had transferred to their usual dynamic. The comfort at the warm weight of Shikamaru's head in her lap, the gentle pressure of Chojuro's hand in hers, the rhythmic rise and fall of his shoulders – it was perfect. Everything she needed, but knew she wouldn't have been able to ask for, to fully settle after her session with Inoichi, and let the last of the tension she still held after Pein's attack go.
She knew they would eventually have to talk this relationship through, because Chojuro was still a Mist-nin, and Shikamaru was still Clan Heir, and she was still tied to Genma in more ways than even she could comprehend.
Genma.
Sakura stifled a sigh.
They had talked, but somehow managed to avoid talking about all the truly important things. But now that the relief of survival against all odds had worn off, she knew it was just a matter of time before one of them would snap and demand answers, and she would really rather not have to go through that again.
Tomorrow. She decided. For better or worse, they would talk tomorrow.
With that decision made, she let herself drift off.
Sakura woke up to the smell of chicken and soy sauce, and an empty space on either side. Once she pried her eyes open, she found Chojuro and Shikamaru sat on the floor, a shogi board spread on the coffee table between them, while Yoshino bustled around the kitchen and Shikaku was sitting at the dinner table, a mountain of papers spread before him.
"Ah, Sakura-chan." Yoshino smiled when she saw Sakura had awoken, and grabbed a bowl. "Here, you must be hungry."
Sakura stood up, grabbing the blanket she still had draped over her and wrapping it around her shoulders like a cape as she walked over and took the bowl with a smile of her own.
"Thank you, Yoshino-san." She thanked the woman, only realising how ravenous she was when she had food in front of her. She startled on her way back to the sofa – the sky outside was dark.
"Shika," she asked shakily, settling down where she'd woken up, the bowl in her lap, "how long was I asleep?"
"About four hours?" Shikamaru replied, not taking his eyes off of the board. "You drool, by the way."
Sakura sputtered. "I do not!" she denied, hand rising instinctively to her mouth, but it wasn't until she saw the smirk Shikamaru shot her way that she realised she'd been tricked. "You're awful." She grumbled, sticking her tongue out, though unable to stop her smile when Chojuro dissolved into laughter.
"You love me anyway." Shikamaru shot back, and before she could acknowledge the claim in any way, he turned to his dad. "Can we have that update now, please?" he asked, the 'please' at the end barely masking the impatience.
'Update?' Sakura mouthed to Chojuro, but the latter just shook his head and gestured at Shikaku.
"The Godaime has decided to call for a Kage Summit." Shikaku announced, putting his pen down and raking his hand through his hair.
Sakura's chopstick-holding hand stilled half-way to her mouth and she gaped. Shikamaru was comparably dumbstruck, but Chojuro just nodded.
"That's reasonable." He acknowledged, drawing two incredulous stares. "W-What? Tsunade-sama knows she will have Mei-sama and the Kazekage on her side. That will turn the playing field 3-2 in her favour." He explained.
"Precisely." Shikaku agreed with a sigh. "And she's leaving me and Kakashi in charge for the duration, which is an enormous drag."
Sakura did a double-take. "A diarchy? That's unheard of, isn't it?"
"It's never been done." Shikamaru agreed, wide eyes trained on his dad. "How's that going to work?"
Shikaku smirked tiredly. "Beyond the legend and wartime glory lies paperwork. Tsunade knows Kakashi wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot stick. In turn, I wouldn't know what to do with ANBU, so we'd have be working closely anyway. By making the split-leadership official she ensured we won't be stepping on each other's toes."
Shikamaru grinned. "Putting you two together is like giving a kanabō to an oni." He said, and Sakura couldn't help the snort that escaped her.
"Yeah, but who's who?" she asked with a laugh, earning a chuckle from Yoshino.
Then, an idea struck her.
"Shikaku-san," she called, sitting up straighter. "I have a favour to ask of you."
All four heads turned towards her, and Shikaku's gaze almost seemed to sharpen as he asked, "Yes?"
"Tsunade-sama is likely to go with Shizune-san, yes?" Sakura clarified, setting her bowl on the coffee table.
A nod. "Yes."
"Then," Sakura hedged, the idea crystallising in her mind, "you'll need an assistant."
"I'll have Kakashi." Shikaku pointed out, and Sakura saw the exact moment Shikamaru understood what she was getting at. The teen let his head drop back with a soft laugh, and when he next looked at her, there was approval and amusement in his gaze.
"You've just said that Kakashi'll largely be running the ANBU."
Shikaku cocked his head, though his expression remained unreadable. "Your point?"
Sakura shuffled to the edge of the sofa until she could lean forward, her elbows resting on her thighs as she said, "Make Hyuuga Neji your assistant."
That didn't seem to be what Shikaku had been expecting, as his façade cracked the slightest bit. "You want to owe me a favour for the Hyuuga?"
"I do." Sakura agreed, settling back. "It'll be more difficult for him to decline if he knows somebody else is paying for it."
Shikaku snorted. "That's manipulative."
Sakura shrugged. "I prefer practical."
"He have Hokage ambitions?" Shikaku asked, and Sakura smiled.
"He has an ambition and Hokageship would get him there. But he would make a good leader. And the Inuzuka and Aburame would back him." She explained, and Shikaku seemed amused.
"I thought the favour was to make him my assistant." He pointed out, but Sakura refused to be distracted.
"It is." She agreed. "But he needs experience, and he can get that with you. And after you and Kakashi, there's no other immediate candidate once Tsunade-sama steps down."
Shikaku stared her down for a few seconds, likely trying to see whether she was serious. Sakura disnt let her gaze waver until he nodded slowly. "…I'll see what I can do."
"That's all I can ask."
Still, Shikaku wasn't quite sure how that conversation led to him standing in front of Hiashi Hyuuga, stifling a snort at the man's reaction to his declaration of 'I'd like to speak to your nephew'.
Hiashi seemed to collect himself and nodded. "I'll send for him."
Immediately, a man Shikaku had barely even registered upon entering the front-room peeled himself away from the wall and disappeared down the corridor, doubtless to do precisely that.
"May I ask what you need my nephew for?" Hiashi asked, pupil-less eyes seeming to bore into Shikaku's very soul. Shikaku thought he'd be used to it, what with Inoichi and the Yamanaka not manifesting pupils either, but the combination of that and an iris that almost blended into the eyeball still made him have to repress a shiver.
Still, he offered the Hyuuga Head a quirk of a smile. "I just want to talk to him. And, if he's willing, make him my assistant."
Were Hiashi not a Hyuuga, Shikaku was willing to bet he would've sputtered. As it was, only his eyebrow made a valiant attempt to hitch up, before it was brutally fought down.
"Assistant to the Jounin Commander? That's certainly an honour, but I don't see why-"
"Not the Jounin Commander." Shikaku cut the man off, wondering if Sakura had known how much enjoyment he was going to get out of this visit, "Hokage regent." He corrected and watched the Hyuuga patriarch lose all semblance of composure.
"You want Neji to be assistant to the Hokage?" He demanded, and it's to that question that Neji appeared around the corner and promptly froze. His eyes flicked from his uncle to Shikaku, wide and visibly surprised, and he almost looked like he wanted Shikaku to tell him he's joking.
Shikaku just grinned. "Well, technically Hokages, as Hatake Kakashi will be sharing the regency with me, but he will be largely responsible for the shadow ranks." He turned to Neji, expectant eyebrow raised. "What do you say?"
Neji's gaze flickered over his face, trying to find any trace of trickery, then something flashed behind his eyes and his expression steeled itself. Then, Shikaku was confronted with the Hyuuga almost folding himself in half in a 90 degree bow, and he could see even his uncle do a double-take at the action.
"I'd be honoured, Hokage-sama." He told Shikaku sincerely before straightening, and Shikaku suddenly understood why his son and Sakura had seemed so convinced of the kid's potential – the expression the teen was wearing said nothing short of I will raze everything in my path to the ground if it means making this possible.
Satisfied, Shikaku let himself relax and waved the kid off. "Not so fast, Neji-kun; Tsunade-sama's still in the Village. But I'm glad to hear it. Walk with me?"
He phrased it as a question, but one look at the teen's face made it clear that he understood that it was, in fact, anything but. He nodded, sharp and quick, then turned to Hiashi with a jerky bow and a muttered 'Uncle', before trailing to Shikaku's side.
They fell into step and walked out of the Hyuuga Compound and deeper into the Village proper, and the further away they went, the more Shikaku saw the boy relax.
"Why so tense?" he asked eventually, when it became clear that neither of them was walking with any sort of purpose or destination. "You should be happy."
Neji, to his surprise, snorted. "I will assume one of my… friends asked you to do this." He said curtly, and Shikaku didn't miss how he hesitated at the word, though it was still surprising to hear it out of the mouth of a Hyuuga. "And I trust them enough to trust you by proxy – I was 'tense' because when the messenger came to fetch me, I was busy teaching two dozen Branch Members the Kaiten."
Shikaku didn't let himself stumble, but it was a close thing.
He was aware of Neji's sharp eyes on him, assessing his reaction, and he couldn't help a quiet sigh. "So that's the ambition, hm? Equality among the Branch and Main House?"
"Abolition of the Branch and Main House." Neji corrected sharply. "Destruction of the House system, and complete removal of the Caged Bird Seal from practise."
Shikaku sucked in a quiet breath. "That's certainly ambitious. Hokageship would certainly be useful."
The expression on Neji's face changed suddenly, then he was turning sharply, not looking to see if Shikaku followed. He moved off the main road, towards the part of the centre that survived the Crush, leading Shikaku down narrow, winding alleys then ducking into what the Nara Head belatedly realised was a café. When Shikaku pushed the decorative curtain aside, he found himself in a room no larger than his living room, with dimmed lights and tiny tables and a matriarch that greeted Neji with a smile that was little short of motherly.
"Ah, Neji-kun! Glad to see you're well! Looking for Kiba-kun?" she greeted, and Shikaku was taken aback when Neji smiled back warmly and ducked his head in greeting.
"Hello, obaa-san. And just looking for some peace and quiet this time, if you don't mind." Neji replied, heading over to a table in a corner almost on autopilot.
Once they sat down, Shikaku let his raised eyebrow speak for him, at which Neji chuckled quietly and spread his arms out as much as the cramped café allowed.
"Look at this place, Shikaku-san – do you think anyone would think to look for me here?" he asked rhetorically, and Shikaku realised that he'd severely underestimated Shikamaru's generation. But before he could voice his thoughts, Neji grew serious.
"You must not misunderstand," he began, and Shikaku realised they'd gone back to their original subject of conversation, "Hokageship would help shake the Hyuuga Clan of its repressive traditions, there's no doubt about that. But that's not the only reason why I'd want to take up the position."
Shikaku must've looked appropriately curious, because the Hyuuga elaborated. "Konoha could be better." He said simply. "Your son and Sakura are proof of that, proof of what can happen if you embrace change and not shy away from it. The lasting treaty with Mist and Suna, the foreign merchants on our streets, the reinforcements we received on short notice to help us against an enemy who was Konoha-born and raised – when I was in the Academy, that would've been an idealist's fairy-tale. It was our reality. It is our reality."
Shikaku cocked his head, frowning. "Where are you going with this?"
"That move towards change should be encouraged, like it was in the times of the Shodaime. But the Nidaime squashed it and concentrated on war. The Sandaime did little better, and the Yondaime achieved peace by singlehandedly slaughtering a thousand Iwa-nin in one night. The Sandaime's second turn clung to that unstable peace so desperately he allowed massacres to happen right under his nose, choosing 'peaceful' inaction over doing what was right. And while the Godaime is arguably the most progressive of her predecessors, even she did not try to extend the metaphorical olive branch to Iwa or Kumo. Konoha is the most powerful of the Nations, but her greatness could and should be measured in more than just power."
Shikaku almost snorted – here he was, listening to a Hyuuga bratling and agreeing with every word, his rational mind adamantly ignoring the fact that it was the stuff of legends and dreams, and little more.
"And you think you could be that change?" he asked, a clear challenge to the determined teen before him.
But Neji just smiled, and it was an expression that was in equal parts beautiful and heart-breaking.
"I grew up believing that my fate was to die for the Main Family." He confessed, and Shikaku couldn't quite hide his wince at how calmly Neji admitted it. "I started questioning that after my first Chunin Exams. I stopped believing it after my second. And, after properly meeting and befriending Kiba, I stopped believing in fate altogether. I am the living proof that even the most entrenched ideas can be changed, beliefs can be challenged." Neji paused, seemed to consider something, then added, a wry, almost ironic twist to his smile this time, "And, if I become Hokage, the Hyuuga can avoid the marginalisation that the Uchiha Clan faced after the Kyuubi Attack."
Shikaku couldn't help the slight smile that pulled at his lips, despite the fact that that should not be his reaction to what just came out of the Hyuuga's mouth. "Someone's learnt his history I see."
Neji just shrugged. "The Uchiha can be loose-lipped if persuaded."
And that– Shikaku reasoned it would be better to not touch that particular topic with a ten foot pole, so he just sighed and nodded at the teen.
"I will support you, and if I'm not wrong, so will the Yamanaka and the Akimichi." He said simply, then stood. "I will see you in the Office in a month."
A week later, and after another session with Inoichi, Sakura was at the gates to see the Mist-nin off, 31 of the original forty who came to assist Konoha against Orochimaru, Yuki included. Yet, despite the crowd, Sakura didn't hesitate to lean up on her tip-toes and kiss Chojuro goodbye, even if she blushed at the attention. She then laughed at the part-stupefied, part-amused faces of the Mist-nin when Shikamaru proceeded to do exactly the same right after her.
It felt good, to be together, to know that she was almost instinctively understood by both boys. That last battle with Pein, it had brought them closer in a way only matched by long acquaintance, and Sakura wondered whether it would have been so natural for them to fall into…this, if they hadn't had that moment of absolute clarity granted by being on the brink of death.
Still, she held Shikamaru's hand and waved the Mist-contigent off until they disappeared from sight, a smile on her face. When they were gone, she turned, Shikamaru following, and made to go back home and embarrass Gen by walking in on him and Aoba making out like teenagers on their couch again, but they were stopped by a genin messenger.
"S-Shiranui Sakura and Nara Shikamaru?" the boy asked, and Sakura did a double-take at the surname, even as Shikamaru barely managed to stifle his laughter at her side.
"Yes?" she managed eventually, and subtly kicked Shikamaru.
"Tsunade-sama wishes to speak to you."
Bemused, but agreeable, Sakura and Shikamaru headed over to the Godaime's temporary office, surprised to enter the room and find Shikaku and Kakashi stood behind the desk, while Tsunade shot them a weary smile.
"Glad you've decided to join us." Tsunade greeted them tiredly, and Sakura could do little more than smile apologetically and wait for what the Hokage had to tell them. "Now, as I'm sure you've been made aware, I've called for a Kage Summit. Mei and Gaara have already confirmed their attendance, which essentially steamrolled Onoki and A into coming as well, if only to save their pride. We've agreed to let Iron host it, as the only neutral party in this whole mess."
Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura saw Shikamaru tense, and realised he too must've sensed that there was something Tsunade was very carefully not telling them.
"The idea is to ally against Akatsuki. Itachi made it clear that there was another leader after Pein, one who was truly pulling the strings of the whole organisation, and implied that it was highly likely the man was an Uchiha. The threat to the bijuu concerns all Villages, and the aim of the Summit will be to drive that point home." Tsunade continued, and now Sakura was growing restless.
Apparently noticing their unease, Tsunade smirked tiredly.
"Each kage is also allowed two bodyguards to be in the room where the Summit will be taking place." She divulged, then set her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands, and her gaze when it fell on them was sharp and alert.
"And I want the two of you to be mine."