RIGHT! Before we begin, I have five announcements I'd like to bring up:
1 as some of you may know, I'm a languages student. I procrastinate my language-learning like a mad motherfucker tho, which got me thinking; what if procrastinate…productively? All that means is that I'm going to attempt to TRANSLATE PMW into French and Spanish as language practice, so look out for that…eventually.
The purpose of this announcement is as follows: is there anyone who reads this who has a native/near-native level of French/Spanish and wouldn't mind beta-ing for me? The og PMW is completely un-beta'd cause in this house we die like men (also I have no writing schedule so rip any beta relationship) BUT I reckon I cant just do that with writing in my third&fourth language *sweatdrop* so yeah. Hmu if you, for whatever reason, would be willing to subject yourself to that.
2 check out the fanart on my tumblr (itsthechocopuff) and go scream at clowncunt for being an absolute g and actually DOING THE THING. She doesn't wanna publish them herself but I had permission to post it on my profile (which…I had meant to do…uh…months ago. Oops.) but like. Go tell her what an amazing job she did.
3 the stats of this story is still something im struggling to wrap my lil head around. Honestly, what?
4 I got inspired to do an original story, based loosely on the writing-prompts and Firenze on tumblr about the alien-invasion-old-gods-returning fusion. When I finally write it – which will likely take me forever cause I suck at original characters – I'll likely first put it up here, probably as a short-story.
Which brings me onto the point of this announcement – does anyone know any short-story competitions/publishing startups? I'm a poor student so I cant even hope to publish it by myself, IF I do, so this is me kinda screeching into the ether like HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEE. so yeah… pls.
5 FINALLY. I am, as always, touched by the undying love and support for Yuki, as well as the small-but-dedicated faction of y'all that was or is still rooting for YukiSaku.
SO.
at the wonderful hour of 4am during exam season, when I should've most definitely been revising but was instead alternating between Netflix-bingeing and day-dreaming, I thought up a plot for an AU-of-my-AU. (can anyone say procrastination…?) ESSENTIALLY it would diverge from Chapter 25 onwards, with endgame of YukiSaku.
QUESTION IS: WOULD ANY OF YALL BE INTERESTED IN THAT?
das it.
enjoy.
"What." Kakashi managed, his tone flat as could be, intentionally not phrasing it like a question because he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
At his side, Ibiki, the bastard, just smirked.
"According to our intel, this is the spymaster of Akatsuki, also known as 'Zetsu'." He explained.
At his side, Anko was shaking with barely suppressed laughter. At what, Kakashi had no idea. Again, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"I think what Kakashi means, is how, exactly, is the Akatsuki spymaster in your basement, Ibiki." Shikaku, the only sane man in the madhouse that was T&I, clarified. "Our intel on him was so limited because he was such a notoriously elusive bastard."
"Ah, well, that's the golden egg the Snake so kindly laid for us, and a product of your old student's convenient paranoia." Ibiki replied, and Kakashi realised he hated being right.
He didn't want to know.
Still, he asked.
"Orochimaru?" at the same time as Shikaku said, "Sakura-chan?"
"Yes, to both." Ibiki confirmed, and Kakashi wondered whether the man got off on being as obtuse as possible.
"And how, exactly, do they tie in together?" Kakashi snapped, slowly losing his patience. Shikaku's silence at his side meant that even the genius hadn't made that leap yet.
"Well, the Snake gave Sakura some cryptic advice. She, in turn, came to me, asking whether she was paranoid and what to do if she wasn't." judging by the smirk on Ibiki's face, the man was very much aware Kakashi was getting to the end of his fuse and was enjoying it.
"He taught her the Aian Maiden." Anko cut in, but that hardly made things any clearer.
Ibiki guarded his techniques like a dragon; Kakashi didn't think even Anko knew how to do his famous summonings.
"You taught her? Voluntarily?" Shikaku asked, apparently similarly stumped.
"I have access to Yamanaka's file on her." Ibiki replied gruffly, a propos of nothing. "And I have seen every single scribble of 'paranoia' get corrected to 'JUSTIFIED paranoia'. The kid has incredible instincts and stopped believing in the word 'impossible' years ago. Now, knowing all that, do you really think I'd have turned her away?" When neither Kakashi nor Shikaku had anything to respond to that, Ibiki snorted. "Yes, I taught her my technique. And thanks to it, we now have plant-man in custody."
"What did you call us down here for?" Kakashi sighed at last, filing away the new information about his old student to consider later.
The grin that split Ibiki's face at his words made it clear why even war-hardened veterans sometimes avoided the man.
"To ask if either of you wanted a crack at him before I break him."
An insistent knocking on the door forced Sakura out of dreamland and she groaned, snuggling deeper into her pillow.
"Eugh." Shikamaru verbalised her distaste, and a brief tug-of-war ensued between them to decide who got to tug the duvet over their ears and ignore the real world for a little while longer.
"How you two ever made jounin will never cease to baffle me." Chojuro's voice - far too chipper for the ass-crack of dawn, in Sakura's humble opinion - called out, and she heard footsteps before the door squeaked upon being opened.
"Today's round of meetings starts in half an hour." Ao's gruff voice drifted over to them, and Sakura had no doubt that he was judging the state of the room and them to hell and back. "Don't be late."
"Of course. Thank you, senpai." Chojuro murmured and shut the door.
Sakura was treated to a few seconds of blissful silence, almost drifting off again, before the duvet was suddenly ripped from her grasp and vicious, ice-cold air attacked her uncovered skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
She shrieked, and by her side, Shikamaru let out a string of expletives that would've made Yoshino wash his mouth out with soap.
"Where the hell do you get off?" Shikamaru grumbled, shooting Chojuro a stink-eye that would've made a lesser man cower.
Chojuro just smiled, radiating the same harmless innocence as usual, but Sakura was quickly starting to realise that it was but a facade.
"You need to get out of the bed, Nara." he replied brightly, and Sakura stifled a snort at Shikamaru's disgruntled expression.
"You can laugh, Sakura-chan, but if we're late, I'm letting Mei and Tsunade-sama know exactly who was responsible for the delay." Chojuro smiled at her, and Sakura blanched before scrambling out of bed, hissing when her feet touched the freezing floor.
Eventually, with a lot of yawning and quiet complaining, Sakura and Shikamaru managed to get dressed and presentable enough for a day full of meetings and negotiating.
"Good enough?" Shikamaru asked sarcastically, twirling round to show off his outfit for Chojuro, eyebrow raised.
"Almost." Chojuro replied, then stepped forward and quickly pecked Shikamaru on the cheek, and Sakura snickered at the vicious red blush that erupted on the Nara's face at the action.
"I hate you." Shikamaru scowled, then rushed to the door while Sakura and Chojuro traded amused glances behind his back.
But Sakura almost crashed into Shikamaru's back when she went to leave the room - the teen had frozen barely a step out of the door, and Sakura and Chojuro had to manoeuvre around him to see what had made him stop in his tracks like that.
"Well, what do you know, Mist and Leaf share a room." a girl drawled.
She reminded Sakura oddly of Shizune, if the latter had ever had her villain-awakening story, but likely couldn't have been much older than her or Shikamaru.
"Kinda difficult to convince us of this 'unity in adversity' nonsense and starting off on the same foot if two of five are shacking up, hm?"
"Can we help you?" Sakura asked sharply, stepping out so she stood slightly in front of Shikamaru, trying to justify it as hiding his hands in the event of an attack, but really, she was just itching to introduce the girl to Kubikiribocho and see whether she would still have that arrogant smirk afterwards.
"You can start by easing off the hypocrisy, Leaf." the girl sneered, but Sakura didn't miss the way she tensed subtly, eyes flickering from Kubikiribocho on Sakura's back to Hiramekarei on Chojuro's, visibly wary. "Not everyone got the prime invitation to the exclusive club, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't wave your mixed allegiances in everyone's faces."
Sakura stared at the girl in confusion, trying and failing to understand what she was on about while simultaneously trying to figure out why she seemed familiar.
"But… you did." Shikamaru pointed out, frowning, apparently having made the mental-leap already and not liking what he heard. "Both, Kumo and Iwa were invited to join the Kiri-Suna-Konoha alliance, years ago."
"I can't speak for Konoha, but I know Mizukage-sama sent out such a proposal to both, Iwa and Kumo, and received strongly-worded rejections from both." Chojuro added, and Sakura hadn't ever seen such an unfriendly expression on his face as the one he was directing at the girl now.
Sakura kept her eyes on the girl as well, and it was only because she was looking for it that she saw the exact moment her expression shuttered, hiding her emotions and reactions to the news.
"Konoha isn't perfect." She murmured, and the girl's eyes snapped to hers, narrowing at the words. "Some of our Kage haven't been fair or just, and we've often been far from the tree-hugging stereotype that seems to exist about Konoha shinobi. And while Tsunade-sama isn't a perfect leader, she doesn't believe in perpetuating the grudges of her predecessors."
Shikamaru nodded. "Wherever this notion of intentionally excluding you came from, it wasn't from us."
Sakura almost rolled her eyes, because the words, while well-intentioned, had the opposite effect – the girl bristled, back on the defensive, any trace of the pensive consideration she had while Sakura was talking gone.
Sakura hastened to interrupt any denials or accusations she might've had forthcoming.
"What he means," Sakura corrected, shooting Shikamaru a reproaching look, "is that if you want answers, I'd recommend asking your grandfather, Kurotsuchi of the Kamizuru Clan."
Kurotsuchi jumped, her eyes wide and caught off-guard. "How did you know?"
"Mei-sama is a Lava Release user." Sakura said simply, finally having put her finger on where she recognised the girl from. "It doesn't come up for many people – I simply recognised you from the Bingo Book."
At that, the teen relaxed. "That makes sense. You're in ours, too. All three of you, actually."
That, at last, seemed to draw Chojuro's attention. "Me too?"
Sakura wasn't alone in rolling her eyes, but still stepped closer when Kurotsuchi whipped out her Bingo Book to show, and felt the boys follow her example.
"Chojuro of the Mist," Kurotsuchi read, having found his page, "aged 19, Jounin. B-Rank. Assistant to the Godaime Mizukage. One of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, wielding Hiramekarei, master of Silent Kill. Ambassador to Konohagakure and Sunagakure. Known associate of Byakugangoroshi Ao. Bounty: ¥1,500,000."
Chojuro winced, but; "He hates that nickname." was the only comment he had to offer.
But Kurotsuchi was already moving on. "Nara Shikamaru. Aged 17, Tokubetsu Jounin. B-Rank. Ambassador to Kirigakure and Sunagakure. Consultant for the Konohagakure Intelligence Division. Wielder of the Nara Shadow Possession. Known kills include Hidan and Kakuzu of the Akatsuki. Known associates include Sarutobi Asuma and Shiranui Sakura. Bounty: ¥2,000,000."
"If you knew I'd killed Hidan, why was Onoki so surprised when Tsunade said it?" Shikamaru asked, frowning, shooting Sakura a veiled glance.
Kurotsuchi merely flipped the book over, showing what Sakura had suspected – no picture. "It's annoyingly difficult to get photos of shinobi on the battlefield, and since the Kumo Affair, your security is a lot tighter so spies can't sneak any either."
"You have spies in Konoha?" Shikamaru pressed, but even Sakura could tell it was rhetorical, since Kurotsuchi had already moved on to the last entry.
"Shiranui Sakura." She read, and Sakura felt her lip quirk. She wondered what Genma would say. "Aged 17. Jounin. A-Rank."
Sakura startled, shooting Shikamaru a wide-eyed look, but received a knowing smirk in return.
"Assassin. Ambassador to Kirigakure and Sunagakure. Suspected allegiance to Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Division. Genjutsu mistress with above-average prowess in kenjutsu. Known kills include Deidara of Iwagakure and Yakushi Kabuto. Known associates include Hatake Kakashi, Mitarashi Anko, Nara Shikamaru, Shiranui Genma and the Terror of the Mist. Approach with caution. Bounty-!" here, Kurotsuchi did a double-take, eyes wide. "Bounty four million yen? What the hell?"
She looked from the number to Sakura, then back again.
"What the hell?" she repeated, then, before Sakura could blink, Kurotsuchi'd stashed her Bingo Book away and stepped right into her space, earning a warning chakra-spike from Chojuro, but she paid it no heed, her gaze trained on Sakura's baffled one. "When today's meeting is over, we're going to spar."
Then, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the corridor, and Sakura tried to wrap her head to what had just transpired, before Shikamaru groaned.
"Oh no." he whined, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "It's another Temari."
And that, coupled with Chojuro's poorly-muffled snort and Shikamaru's melodramatic tone, was enough to send Sakura into a fit of giggles that lasted all the way to the meeting room.
The meeting dragged, just like the previous one had, and once again, the hostilities were directed for the most part at Tsunade, only this time, for a slightly different reason.
"You mean to tell us that you want to take the jinchuuriki, our 'only hope' against these madmen if you are to be believed, to Orochimaru?" Onoki demanded, incredulous. "Need I remind you, Godaime, what destruction your teammate had wreaked on our world?"
"You do not." Tsunade replied icily, pinning the Tsuchikage with a sharp glare. "I know better than anyone what he did, what he is responsible for. But as I told the Raikage yesterday, he was sealed. Orochimaru was under the worst slavery seal Jiraiya had ever seen. Attributing the atrocities he committed while under its influence to Orochimaru would be like judging each of our Villages by what it did while in times of war."
"I'm not sure how reliable Jiraiya's input is, considering his…perversions towards his teammate." A cut in, and Sakura couldn't decide whether he was making a genuine point or simply playing Devil's Advocate to see Tsunade squirm.
She was willing to bet on the latter.
And worse yet, it was working.
"Fine." Tsunade hissed through gritted teeth, her shoulders tense. "If Jiraiya's character makes you doubt his word, then I'll have you know that second to Jiraiya, Konoha boasts Shiranui Genma as resident seal master. And second to Shiranui is his partner, who I have with me."
Sakura froze.
Tsunade turned and peered at her over the back of her chair, then propped her elbow on the arm rest and pointed at Sakura with her hand as she turned back to her fellow Kage.
"Haruno, tell them." Tsunade commanded, and Sakura felt a shiver climb up her spine then crest at the nape of her neck.
Bargaining chip. She reminded herself in a vain attempt at banishing the fury that rose up in her.
She took a deep breath, but was cut off before she could even begin to formulate a response.
"With all due respect, Hokage, I don't see how her word will have any more weight than Jiraiya's. She's your subject. She has to obey you." Onoki pointed out, and Sakura never thought she'd feel grateful to the man, but apparently, this day was going to keep throwing surprises at her feet.
"Orochimaru killed her parents."
Sakura had been expecting it, but she still didn't manage to fully mask her flinch. She had gained closure after being able to speak to her parents after Pein's attack, but hearing it said so callously, so frankly and dispassionately hurt.
A whistled. "That's cruel, Hokage." He remarked, but he sounded almost impressed.
Onoki just raised an imperious eyebrow, pointing at Sakura imperiously. "Well?"
Sakura took a shaky, hesitant step forward, so she was at Tsunade's side instead of at her back, and looked around the room. She tried to ignore Kurotsuchi's wide eyes, Mei's sympathetic yet expectant smile, or Chojuro's worried frown. Then, her eyes met Gaara's, and she got the tiniest, smallest smile and an encouraging nod.
"It's true." She rasped, clearing her throat before continuing. "The seal on the Snake Sannin's chest was indeed a slavery seal. To me, it resembled the trigger-seal the Nidaime developed to put on POWs, so that when released, they would turn into Konoha's spies."
By the looks on the kage's faces, she reckoned both knew exactly what she was talking about. "Only it was better. More elaborate and more potent. Orochimaru had weakened it with his body-hopping, but even he, one of the most powerful shinobi to ever live, couldn't remove it."
"And do you think that sending the jinchuuriki there is a good idea? I was under the impression the Kyuubi jinchuuriki was your genin teammate." Onoki asked shrewdly, and Sakura cocked her head and managed a wry half-smile.
"He was indeed. And, to tell you the truth, it was my idea, Tsuchikage-sama, so I'd like to say it is a good one." And then, at the splutter that greeted her words, Sakura stepped back so she was once again shoulder-to-shoulder with Shikamaru, cutting that particular line of questioning off.
By the way Shikamaru's shoulder trembled against hers, she guessed the Nara was barely managing to supress his laughter, and that brought the most genuine smile to her face since the meeting had begun.
Eventually, the kage agreed that Island Turtle was too predictable, and Tsunade was given the go-ahead to write to the Hokage-regents and to Orochimaru, announcing her intentions with the approval of the other kage in the official Summit-seal Mifune-dono kindly provided for them.
The following days saw further discussion of the idea of a united shinobi army should it come to a war between the 'free world' and the Akatsuki.
Sakura was harried, almost permanently exhausted, because once the hostilities had been dialled-down, the guards were dismissed and ordered to get to know each other.
Or, as Shikamaru had grumpily put it, schmooze like their lives depended on it.
Which, terrifyingly, they did.
Sakura's few respites had been in the form of nights spent with Chojuro and Shikamaru, the quick chat she managed to steal time for with Gaara, the familiar 'it's been so long, we really need to catch up, but hey let's been the shit out of each other first' spar with Temari, and, finally, the promised spar with Kurotsuchi.
The Iwa girl had been grumpy when their spar had to be pushed back a few days after the sheer avalanche of responsibilities and admin that suddenly hit the kage and the ambassadors once a course of action regarding mobilising against the Akatsuki had finally been established. It was understandable, then, that once they finally squared up in the dojo Mifune had kindly pointed them to, they had both been a little too keyed-up to retain even a modicum of grace or decorum.
Due to the physical constraint of the dojo, they ruled out elemental manipulation and agreed on pure ken-and-taijutsu.
"You really gonna fight with that meat-cleaver?" she'd asked snidely when Sakura unfastened Kubikiribocho,
"You really think that toothpick is gonna stop me?" Sakura shot back, jerking her chin at the average katana fastened around Kurotsuchi's waist. When the girl gaped, speechless, she smirked. "What's the matter? Can dish it, but can't take it? What a pity."
And then she didn't have time for more trash-talk because Kurotsuchi was on her, vicious and unhesitating and relentless.
While Temari thought like Shikamaru but fought like Naruto – cunning and manipulative, but still preferring to go in guns-blazing, and if that didn't work, retreat and plan – Kurotsuchi fought and thought like Sakura.
It was disconcerting.
Kurotsuchi was visibly struggling without being able to use her nature manipulation, but Sakura had grown used to using the field to her advantage when confronted with close-combat, so their disadvantages evened out.
Sakura's genjutsu, so instinctive at this point, was rendered moot – her notice-me-not on a kunai was brushed off and dodged, her Hell-Viewing dismissed before it had a chance to fully form. The only illusion Sakura managed to hit the Iwa teen with was her Vertigo genjutsu, but disorientation only made Kurotsuchi more vicious, and Sakura's side was still smarting from the punishing side-kick the girl managed to land on her side.
Kurotsuchi was faster, but Sakura was more flexible.
Sakura arms hurt from hefting Kubikiribocho, but Kurotsuchi's hurt from trying to block or withstand her hits.
Kurotsuchi's taijutsu was superior, but Sakura had turned dodging into an artform.
They were evenly matched.
Sakura ached. She was panting for breath, sweat soaked her hair and dripped off her chin and nose and ran down her back in rivulets. Her arms shook; her legs burned; her grip on Kubikiribocho slipped and slid with the sweat on her palms. But despite all that, a large, delighted grin stretched her lips, and she couldn't fight it back if she tried, no more so because an answering one shone on Kurotsuchi's face.
Until someone cleared their throat.
Sakura froze, her block stopping mere millimetres short of actually parrying Kurotsuchi's kick, but luckily, her sparring partner had had much the same reaction and froze before it could connect.
Turning her head, she saw Gaara standing beside Mifune, Kazekage hat held daintily and deliberately out of sight at his side.
"Mifune-dono tells me you've been at this two and a half hours." He intoned, and it was only long familiarity that allowed Sakura to read the amusement in his gaze. "That's impressive."
"Kazekage." Kurotsuchi acknowledged, lowering her leg and dipping her head, which finally snapped Sakura out of her reverie.
"Gaara-sama." She greeted, smiling, only becoming aware of her split lip when the sweat that dripped down her face made the cut sting. "Anything you need?"
The subtle hitch of Gaara's eyebrow told her he was laughing at her.
"I need you, actually. Both of you." He added, not quite hastily, but surprisingly bashful when Kurotsuchi's eyebrow hiked up her forehead at his wording. "The Summit has concluded. The Five Shinobi Nations will present a unified front as the Allied Shinobi Force against the threat of the Akatsuki. The Kage and diplomats will be gathering in an hour for a celebratory meal."
"Surely someone else could've fetched us?" Kurotsuchi asked, sheathing her katana when she finally straightened from her crouch.
Gaara's lip twitched. "I volunteered." He offered, and Sakura beamed, hefting Kubikiribocho onto her back and securing the harness with a herculean effort.
"I wonder why." Kurotsuchi mumbled under her breath, but when Sakura shot her a quizzical look, she merely smirked and held out a hand.
Sakura eyed it, confused; it looked like Kurotsuchi was inviting her to an arm-wrestle – her elbow was bent and pointed at the ground, her hand held aloft and open. Bemused, she mirrored her, putting her hand in the other girl's.
Once her hold was secure, Kurotsuchi jerked her arm, pulling Sakura closer by the hand till their shoulders bumped lightly. Almost as soon as they did, she released her grip and stepped back, inclining her head, that earlier arrogant smirk back on her face.
"Not bad, Haruno." And then she was walking away, breezing past Gaara with a simple nod, and disappearing out the dojo before Sakura could so much as call for her, Mifune following shortly after.
Sakura blinked, momentarily thrown, then turned to Gaara with a grin. "Sorry for reducing you to a messenger boy." She apologised, stepping off the raised dais and down to where Gaara stood.
"Like I said," he replied in his usual quiet timbre, "I volunteered. You do not need to apologise." Then, his lip quirked and he looked away, an action so uncharacteristic Sakura jumped on it with both hands.
"Something funny?" she asked teasingly, bending to pick up the training shirt she'd discarded about an hour into her spar with Kurotsuchi and draping it over her shoulders like a towel.
"It's nothing." Gaara hedged, but when Sakura shot him a deeply unimpressed look, he relented. "It's just that your penchant for fighting those you wish to establish an alliance with continues to amuse me."
"Fighting?!" Sakura sputtered, then deflated. "Well. Maybe. But she asked for it!"
Gaara's shoulders shook slightly, and Sakura gasped. "Don't you laugh at me!" she called, mock-indignantly, jabbing her finger into his arm.
Gaara's expression when he turned to look at her couldn't have been called anything other than fondly amused.
"Or what?" he asked, and Sakura was startled to realise Gaara of all people, Godaime Kazekage and ex-host of the Ichibi and somebody who, if asked by the average citizen would've been the last person to have a sense of humour, was teasing her.
She was saved from trying to answer when the doors to the dojo opened and Sakura remembered that although it was called the 'Land of Iron', all that meant was 'snow'. She shuddered, goosebumps erupting over her exposed body within a millisecond of the icy wind hitting her skin.
"Holy shit-!" she gasped, trying to smother another full-body shiver, only then realising that stepping out into sub-zero temperatures in a sports bra and ¾ leggings wasn't her best idea.
Before another shiver could send her teeth chattering, the snow and the cold was shut away by a shell of what she belatedly realised was at least ten-inch-thick dome of sand.
She shot a questioning look at Gaara but he just offered her one of his trademark unreadable expressions right back. "I think it'll be more efficient this way." He said simply, and before Sakura could ask what exactly would be more efficient, the shell off sand was crumbling away, and she realised it'd deposited them right in front of the door to her room.
"…Huh." Was all she could manage, looking from her door to Gaara and back again, before she gave the redhead a grateful smile. "You're right. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Gaara replied, then treated her to one more of his small smiles. "I look forward to seeing you at the dinner."
Then, before she could thank him again or bid him goodbye, the same shell that'd transported them there wrapped around him, and he was gone.
Dismissing the unusual farewell, Sakura stepped out of the corridor and into her room, relieved to find Shikamaru and Chojuro already there.
"Where have you been?" Chojuro demanded, voice rising at the end with anxiety, trying and failing to secure the obi around his unusually fancy kimono.
"More importantly, what were you doing? You look a right mess." Shikamaru corrected with a chuckle, sprawled out on their bed, his own, slightly less ornate kimono draped over one of the chairs.
Sakura was about to rip him a new one for the remark, but then she glimpsed her reflection in the full-length mirror and shut her mouth with an audible click.
Shikamaru wasn't wrong.
She'd forgotten, between fighting Kurotsuchi and her confusing encounter with Gaara, that she had been fighting Kurotsuchi – if Mifune was to be believed – for the better part of two hours.
She was flushed from head to toe, sweating still, bangs plastered to her face and her ponytail limp against her back with sweat. An attractive picture she did not make.
Not even a particularly presentable one.
"Goddamnit." She groaned, sprawling on the chaise by the armoire, draping an arm over her eyes. "I am a mess."
"Mmhm." Shikamaru hummed from his prone position, raising a hand to give her a thumbs-up. "If it makes you feel better, you've got about half an hour to rectify that before Ao comes to drag you out by the hair and take you to dinner."
Sakura snorted, pulling her arm away from her eyes to shoot Shikamaru an incredulous look. "That's oddly specific."
"He was rather specific in how he was going to make us suffer if we were late to this dinner." Shikamaru explained, still grinning. "Wasn't he, Cho?"
"I am going to make you suffer if you don't start getting ready." Chojuro snapped back instead, abandoning the obi to tug at his hair in frustration. "I hate these things."
"Aaa…" with a grunt, Shikamaru pushed himself into a sitting position and scooted to the edge of the bed, picking up the abandoned obi. "Let's not give you a reason to do that, hm, Sakura?"
"Right." Sakura agreed hastily, pulling out fresh underwear and a clean top before grabbing her towel and almost sprinting to the bathroom. "Let's not."
Chojuro's exasperated laughter followed her all the way to the shower, and she couldn't help but smile.
She was happy.
The string of expletives Orochimaru let out would've given his grandmother a heart-attack on the spot.
"Woah." the goddamn pain-in-his-ass Uchiha who he'd idiotically made his Jounin Commander drawled sarcastically as he strolled into his office, leaning against the doorframe like the room belonged to him. "You alright? You haven't let loose like that since I electrocuted Suigetsu in his tank and knocked him out for a week."
Orochimaru hissed and, in a fit of piqué, snatched his wrought-iron paperweight and launched it at Sasuke's head. Unfortunately, the Uchiha just dodged, eyebrow inching higher up his forehead.
"I'll take that as a 'no'." Sasuke observed, and Orochimaru finally gave in and held the letter he'd received out for the Uchiha to take while he paced from one end of his office to the other, planning Tsunade's slow and decisive demise.
"They what?!"
Ah, finally. Orochimaru mused, and took a deep breath, grounding himself in the burst of chakra that accompanied Sasuke's outburst. It was nice to know he hadn't been over-reacting.
"They want to send the Kyuubi and Hachibi jinchuuriki here. To Oto. To our Village." Orochimaru answered the question, regardless of the fact that it had likely been rhetorical.
"No. No way." When Orochimaru remained silent, Sasuke raised his gaze from the letter and glared at him. "You can't accept this." He snarled, and Orochimaru, now that somebody else was angry on his behalf, could move on and approach the matter from the level-headed perspective.
"Unfortunately, I have to." He replied, and the admission hurt. Regardless of whether he was five, fifteen, or fifty, having a decision taken out of his hands stung his pride. "And Tsunade knows it. If I want to bring Oto onto the same playing field as the other Five Nations, this act of… 'goodwill' will go a long way in laying out the foundations for international relations."
"Or it'll crush Oto if we fail!" Sasuke snapped back, and Orochimaru spun around, unsheathing his katana in the same move and letting it rest against the Uchiha's jugular.
"We will not fail." He hissed, lips pulled back in a snarl. "Perhaps this is not ideal, but failure is not an option."
Sasuke stilled, then leaned forward, not caring that the katana drew a thin line of blood across his neck. "This is your fault." He declared, and Orochimaru froze.
"Excuse me?" he murmured, still as a statue, wondering if the Uchiha had enough sense to start running now or whether his snakes would finally get a good meal.
"You told Sakura not to let them take the jinchuuriki to Genbu. I can bet anything that she was the one to suggest this."
Orochimaru pressed the sword harder against the brat's neck, uncaring that the blood he drew was starting to stain the collar. It wasn't his shirt.
"Your teammate detests me." He denied. "Try again."
But the Uchiha was getting riled up now, like a snake getting ready to pounce on its prey. He reached up, pushing Orochimaru's katana away from his throat and down, cutting up his fingers in the process but barely reacting as he leant forward.
"No, I won't. Because I'm right, and you know it." Sasuke stepped up closer, so that only the desk separated them, picking up the letter opener and brandishing it at Orochimaru like one would a kunai. "When we were in Konoha, there were whispers. Rumours. How she's like you. Even the hag said she's your 'broken mirror' or some shit. And this- this straight-up insane idea? This is exactly what you would do."
"Pray tell then," Orochimaru asked, deceptively quietly, his eyes narrowed as he rested his hands on the desk and leant forward till the tip of the letter opener pressed snugly against his throat, "since you're masquerading as a Yamanaka now, what would I do?"
"If you hated someone, feared them, you wouldn't fight them. You would discredit them. And this? This is exactly it. If we fail, and the Akatsuki get to the jinchuuriki, nobody in the Shinobi Nations will ever trust Oto, trust you again. Shimura's seal or no, your bloody 'reformed man' campaign, the non-aggression treaties with four of the Daimyo – they won't mean shit!" Sasuke exploded, and Orochimaru felt the chakra wave that came off the Uchiha with the words. "Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong."
"If we do fail, this idea will hurt Konoha too." Orochimaru murmured, ignoring the last part as he pressed into the sharp point of the letter opener, eyes trained on the raven's challengingly until Sasuke scoffed and lowered his arm.
"Konoha's scum. It's been scum for years, yet it's still standing, still the 'most powerful Village'. Oto's just starting out. We don't have that security. If you think Konoha won't find a way out of it, you're not half the genius I thought you were."
Finally, Orochimaru smirked.
He leaned down, long hair sweeping the surface of the desk as he scrawled a few choice words' reply to the letter he received. He waited for the ink to dry and put the paper in an envelope, sealing it with a few drops of wax and Sound's seal, before holding it out for Sasuke to take.
"Send Garuda with my reply."
Sasuke looked offended. "I am not sending Garuda." He denied, scoffing, arms crossed over his chest. "He's my Summon, not some messenger bird."
Orochimaru just tilted his head, giving Sasuke a heavy-lidded stare that conveyed just how short-sighted he thought that remark to be. "Don't worry about appearances, Sasuke-chan." He drawled. "We'll be travelling on the Saikyō no Uwabami himself."
Like he'd predicted, the Uchiha didn't even bother to stifle his groan. "If you let Manda try to digest me again, I will disembowel him, King of the Serpents or no."
Orochimaru let his smirk grow, then waved Sasuke out the door. "You'll do no such thing. Now go. Send my letter and have Suigetsu and Karin meet me at the Gates in an hour."
Sasuke scowled. "Karin I can understand, but Suigetsu? Why not Juugo?"
"I need someone sensible in charge while I'm gone. Now go, Uchiha, and be at the Gates on time." With a swish of his robes and a careless flicker of chakra to set up the wards, Orochimaru swept out of his office.
"We're going to Konoha."