Faroke had gotten sick with a stomach bug the day they were to fly to Seattle for thanksgiving so Megan's family had missed the celebrations. A month later, Alyssa had agreed to pick them up from the Bellingham airport for the Christmas holidays, they chose to fly into the smaller, cheaper airport and avoid the chaos at SEATAC.
"Mom," Alyssa greeted Megan with a big hug.
"Hi Lyss," Megan smiled, returning her daughter's hug, "you're sure this is okay."
"This is on my way home," Alyssa said, "Faroke. Ready for your first Christmas?"
"Yes," Faroke replied.
"Good to see you Alyssa," Nathan greeted.
"You two," Alyssa smiled, "Faroke how's volleyball?"
"Hard," Faroke replied.
"I played with your coach in college. Mackenzie says you're doing well," Alyssa said, "I'm coming down for a business trip in February and am adding a couple days so I can come to practice with you."
"You can," Faroke asked.
"I can," Alyssa promised, "I'll bring my stuff and play with you. Mackie sent me videos even a couple days here I'm sure I can get you serving overhand."
"Really," Faroke asked.
"I have a trick," Alyssa replied, "are you playing other sports?"
"Soccer," Faroke replied.
"And you're starting baseball in the spring," Megan added.
"I suck," Alyssa laughed, "Henry tried hard. I can throw and catch well enough but that's it."
"I remember picking you up from Teddys and her husband playing catch with both of you," Nathan said.
"No throwing like a girl allowed," Alyssa said, "we played a lot of catch Henry, auntie Teddy and I."
They made small talk as they walked to Alyssa's truck and she put their bags in the back.
"When does Teddy get here," Megan asked.
"She's already there," Alyssa answered, "she started decorating without me! She promised to save the tree for me though."
"The tree," Nathan asked.
"The three of us always do it together and she makes hot cocoa from scratch then we order Chinese."
"How does Chinese fit," Megan asked.
"Christina," Alyssa replied, "Auntie Teddy and I made her help with the tree. And she agreed on the condition that she chose dinner."
"Didn't you see Christina recently," Megan asked.
"She was lecturing at UBC so I met her for dinner downtown," Alyssa replied, "I know you don't get it but I had a lot of people who looked out for me."
"Owen used To tell me he would never keep the people that cared about her away from Alyssa," Nathan said, "that even if we were fighting she deserved all the people who cared for her."
"He knows I see and talk to Christina," Alyssa said, "it was dinner on a Friday night. She always has to take me. She won't let me be an adult and buy my own. But it's dinner and a couple drinks. Always a tequila shot, then I got on the sky train to go home."
"How do you explain her," Megan asked.
"Auntie Christina," Alyssa replied, "Christina likes to go for fancy dinners somewhere trendy downtown. I prefer auntie Teddys visits. She always adds a few days on either side and stays with me. We hike or go on an adventure, cook together. She knows the Jarrett's. We sit up late with cocoa and chat in our jammies."
"You need Teddy time," Megan asked.
"I do," Alyssa agreed, "and auntie Teddy gives good hugs."
"Some of my reading has been about affection and how kids need it," Megan said, "I know I cuddled and hugged you but as you got older? When I wasn't there?"
"They did hug," Alyssa replied, "if I was really upset or sick auntie Teddy would lay on my bed with me and rub my back. She has a very maternal side. She just only got to use it with me. She'd be an amazing mom."
"Too bad her and Owen can't work it out," Megan suggested.
"I've campaigned for that for years, " Alyssa laughed.
"I used to think they were," Nathan added, "the three of you were back to school shopping or something."
"We were camping in Oregon but there was the outlet mall and uncle Owen wanted to look at the Columbia outlet for a new winter coat and snow pants for me, " Alyssa remembered.
"Outlets," Megan asked, "he was an attending surgeon."
"And we always had budgets for things," Alyssa said, "the outlets meant I had a ski coat and a lighter school coat. I had name brands and cool clothes but the head to toe lululemon dance and volleyball outfits were birthday or Christmas presents. Or Christina would be out shopping and I'd be with her and she wasn't as budget conscious and would buy it. My shoes seemed to have the least budget constraints. "
"Even when you were little I bought brand new shoes but would go to a thrift store for your other clothes," Megan said, "it wasn't that I didn't want you to have things or be cute it's that I had no money. We both wore thrift store clothes."
"It used to be fun to buy you new things." Nathan said, "you got so excited and took such good care of brand new things and brand new toys."
"I built my lego sets and then put them back in their boxes," Alyssa admitted.
They continued making small talk as they drove. Hearing the truck Teddy went out to the porch to greet them.
"Auntie Teddy," Alyssa yelled, jumping out of the truck and running to the porch.
"Lyss," Teddy greeted, wrapping the younger woman in a hug.
Megan watched, slightly jealous at the enthusiastic greeting. Alyssa did not leap at her or initiate a hug.
"Moms going to know," Alyssa whispered.
"I know they're growing. Wait for Megan to mention it," Teddy replied, "how are you sweetheart?"
"Good," Alyssa smiled, "ready to be home for two weeks."
"Welcome home," Teddy smiled, "Owen is getting groceries. "
"Teddy," Megan greeted, looking the other woman over carefully, taking in Teddy's stomach.
"Megan," Teddy smiled, hugging her.
"Are you," Megan asked.
"Am I what," Teddy asked.
Owen pulled in at the same moment.
"Hi," Owen called as he got the bags of groceries out of the back seat.
Alyssa ran to help him.
"Okay room assignments," Owen said, "it's a bit tight this year."
"Leo and I in our rooms," Alyssa asked.
"Yes," Owen replied.
"Faroke you have the pull out couch in the office," Owen said, "Meg and Riggs have the basement room."
"Where is Teddy staying," Megan asked.
"Our room," Owen replied.
"Our room," Alyssa asked.
"We're together," Teddy smiled.
"Yes," Alyssa cheered, hugging both of them.
When Alyssa stepped back Megan jumped in, "you're together and we're having a baby!"
"We are," Teddy confirmed.
"Do you know," Megan asked.
"Tomorrow," Owen said, "we'll go the two of us for the ultrasound. We will tell all of you when we get home."
"It's cold out here," Teddy shivered standing in her socks on the concrete porch.
"It's supposed to snow tonight auntie," Alyssa said, "are we going for our snow walk?"
"We will," Teddy assured, "now get the cars unloaded then come help me with cookies."
"Yes ma'am," Alyssa replied with a joking salute.
"Hop to it," Teddy teased.
"How do you do it," Megan asked, going inside with Teddy.
"What," Teddy asked.
"Tease Alyssa," Megan asked, "get that enthusiastic greeting from her?"
"Time,' Teddy replied, "I've spent a lot of time with her."
"Its hard to see her go to others as her mom for that reassurance," Megan said.
"This is her home," Teddy replied, "our home now."
"Alyssa I think you did too much Christmas shopping," Owen chuckled as he helped her bring a laundry basket in.
"I had three more people this year," Alyssa said, "Mom, Faroke and Leo."
"Leo is okay," Owen checked.
"I need more baby cuddles with him," Alyssa said, "his big one is the giant package."
"What is it," Owen asked.
"Something fun and safe," Alyssa replied thinking of the set of duplo blocks she had bought him to play with.
"Me and Teddy," Owen asked as they walked into Alyssa's room.
"It's good," Alyssa said, "about time. I've been saying this since I was 13."
"I know Lyss," Owen said, "but it affects you as much as your mom coming home."
"I want this," Alyssa said.
"It's not just Teddy and I are together now," Owen said, "we have Leo she's going to adopt him with me."
"I thought so when I was down and you were calling her mommy with him," Alyssa said, "and you have your baby."
"The baby is okay,' Owen asked.
"Can it be a girl," Alyssa asked, "I have basically 2 little brothers. I know Leo and your baby are my cousins but you and Auntie Teddy are my parents in a lot of ways."
"I know," Owen said, "you and Leo and the baby are my kids."
"Is it what you want," Alyssa asked.
"It is," Owen said, "older than I thought Teddy and I would be but it's what we want."
"So the office for the baby," Alyssa asked.
"Yes," Owen said, "we'll keep your room for you to come home to and visit us."
"Will you marry her," Alyssa asked.
"One day," Owen smiled, "Lyss she can't know. I will ask when the time is right."
"But you're perfect for eachother," Alyssa argued.
"We're building our family," Owen said, "Lyss let us do it, we know what we're doing."
"You two always have a plan," Alyssa said, "for kids but what about for you?"
"We do," Owen assured, "if you need either of us we're both in my room. She's redecorating."
"In the last month," Alyssa asked.
"Week," Owen replied, "we painted last weekend. Picked out new bedding ordered new furniture so my old set is in the basement guest room replacing that terrible old mattress from grandmas."
"Alyssa Evelyn Hunt," Teddy called, "get your bottom in this kitchen and help me with the cookies."
"Yes auntie Teddy," Alyssa called.
"You're getting paged," Owen chuckled, "I'm glad your home kiddo."
"We two," Alyssa smiled.
"Don't use my kid to distract me," Megan scolded Teddy.
"Ours," Teddy replied, "I'm claiming her as well. She's a group project."
"I did the hardest part," Megan said, "I carried her, nursed her, changed her diapers, taught her to talk and walk, to ride her bike. Helped her learn to read. Her body systems and bones, the correct names of all of her body parts."
"Who had to teach her about her first period," Teddy asked, "boys, how to know if she's ready to kiss a boy or spend the night with him. You got the little girl things and the baby things. I did the big girl and the adult things."
"How did you get the first period how old was she," Megan asked.
"14 and a half," Teddy replied, "we were all here and she was crying and would only talk to me. Owen had tried, your mom. Whoever had explained it didn't explain cramps or the quantity."
"I had wanted to make the milestone special," Megan sighed.
"I did," Teddy replied, " we got manicures and pedicures once she calmed down."
"Which time," Alyssa asked.
"We did that alot," Teddy admitted, "when you needed some girl time or mom time."
"Mom time," Alyssa said, "you always said yes."
"I knew you needed it," Teddy replied.
"This having basically two moms is hard," Alyssa told Megan and Teddy.
Teddy passed Alyssa a rolling pin and a lump of gingerbread dough.
"Two moms," Megan questioned.
"I had both of you at different phases of my life," Alyssa replied, "I can't have you two fighting over me. I need both of you in my life. I want both of you in my life. I'm not a little kid your fighting for custody of. I will come visit everyone when I can. And I will probably come here more often. Not that I don't love you and Nathan and Faroke Mom it's that I can be here after work on a Friday. It's not just Uncle Owen and Auntie Teddy here, Grandma, a lot of my friends from highschool are still in Seattle. I bring cousins and friends down from BC to see concerts and ball games."
"I'm a two hour flight," Megan said.
"But a flight vs a tank of fuel," Alyssa asked.
"How much is it to fill that thing," Nathan asked.
"About $120," Alyssa replied, "diesel though."
"We'll chip in," Nathan said.
"I was doing the Burnaby to Seattle drive anyway. I'm happy to have company," Alyssa replied.
"Lyss get rolling," Teddy prompted.
"Music," Alyssa asked.
"My volume or Owens," Teddy asked.
"Christmas music our volume," Alyssa replied.
Teddy's phone was already connected to the speaker in the kitchen and she turned on her Christmas playlist.
Megan sat back and watched as Alyssa rolled the cookie dough and cut out gingerbread shapes with Teddy.
"Nature or nurture," Megan asked Owen when he sat beside her on the other side of the island.
"Both," Owen said, "boys are playing with blocks in the living room."
"The movements are the same," Megan said.
"Similar," Owen agreed, "cooking we did watch us, hand over hand, we do, you do, tell us."
"See one do one teach one," Megan said.
"Worked for cooking, house work, pool maintenance," Owen replied, "she's capable."
"I see it," Megan replied.
"I'm going to go watch the boys," Owen said, "Nathan and I are going to have a beer want one?"
"I do," Alyssa said.
"I shouldn't," Megan replied.
"I can't," Teddy reminded.
"We have the non alcoholic ones," Owen said.
"With dinner," Teddy agreed.
"I'll wait," Alyssa said.
"Go ahead." Teddy shrugged.
"I'm okay to wait he was just offering and it sounded good " Alyssa replied.
"I don't have that fancy craft sours you like," Owen said, "I have ciders though."
"With dinner and surprise me," Alyssa said.
"Do you drink much," Megan asked.
"Not every day but with the right people," Alyssa replied, "I enjoy a couple."
"Favourite," Megan asked.
"Fruit sours," Alyssa said, "the brewery near my place does the best raspberry sour."
"Worst," Teddy asked.
"Scotch, whiskey whatever you want to call it," Alyssa answered, "I know you and uncle Owen like it and I've tried it with you guys but I don't enjoy it."
"Scotch or tequila," Teddy asked.
"Tequila," Alyssa replied, "I saw Christian a month or so ago and there's always good tequila with her."
"Have you ever seen her drunk," Megan asked.
"Yes," Alyssa and Teddy said at the same time.
"I've supplied the alcohol to get her drunk," Teddy replied, "it was her and I."
"Germany Mackenzie was with us," Alyssa replied.
"That was good," Teddy smiled.
"Teddy you've never said how far along you are," Megan said.
"21 weeks tomorrow," Teddy smiled, "due April 10th."
"So we'll have April, May, June for the kids," Megan said, "I don't know Leo's."
"February 12th," Teddy replied, "we have Feb 12th and May 9th. The baby and Lyss will be about 2 weeks apart."
"When does the baby start kicking," Alyssa asked.
"They are already," Teddy replied, "when your hands aren't covered in flour and gingerbread you can feel it if you want."
"I do and I have clean hands," Megan said.
"It's not moving right this second," Teddy replied.
"Nap time," Megan said, "Lyss slept more when I was moving and seemed to wake up when I sat down or tried to sleep."
"It's only been about a week," Teddy said, "but I like the feeling."
"What do you think it is," Alyssa asked.
"I don't know," Teddy said.
"Girl," Megan voted, "it's a baby girl."
"I agree," Alyssa said.
"Teddy you make it look cute," Megan said, "I was not that cute pregnant. You hardly have a bump yet."
"I do," Teddy replied, "I'm trying to hide it."
"I noticed when you hugged me," Alyssa said.
"It's a good feeling," Teddy said, "knowing our baby is growing even if my clothes don't fit."
"You like shopping," Alyssa said.
"It hasn't been too bad," Teddy agreed, "Lyss put these trays in the garage and we'll bake them after dinner."
"Mom," Faroke yelled, "when's dinner?"
"Soon," Owen answered, "I ordered it half an hour ago."
"Is mom coming," Megan asked.
"This was usually the three of us," Teddy replied, "sometimes it was 5 of us."
"Grandma's writers group has their Christmas party tonight,' Alyssa said.
"Lyss do you want to give Leo his dinner," Owen offered.
"Can I," Alyssa smiled.
"You can," Owen replied.
"What is he eating,' Megan asked.
"We have some sweet potato chunks, shredded chicken and peas," Owen said, "Lyss you fed him two weeks ago. He likes to pick up his peas now but needs help with his sweet potato and chicken."
Alyssa happily fed her little cousin while Teddy cleaned up the cookie mess in the kitchen.
"She'll be a good mom," Megan whispered to Nathan.
"She used to like babysitting," Nathan agreed.
"She likes the little kids," Megan replied.
Dinner arrived and they all crowded around the kitchen table to eat.
"Lyss your spot," Teddy pointed.
"Spot," Megan asked.
"No, no, no," Alyssa said, "Faroke is the youngest now. He gets the spot between the table and the window. I'm upgrading."
"Okay," Owen agreed, "Faroke you get the spot between the window and the table."
After dinner they finished baking the last trays of cookies before decorating the tree.
"Cocoa, cookies, tree, Christmas music," Teddy said.
"Lights are on it," Owen replied.
"Ready," Alyssa smiled.
"How does it work here mate," Nathan asked.
"We grab the box of ornaments and put them on the tree," Teddy smiled, "some have stories from both your family and mine. I have one for each of you. We do a new one every year."
"Teddy," Megan asked.
Teddy grabbed a small bag from under an end table and passed out the ornaments of the year, for both Leo and Faroke she had a first Christmas ornament with their names and the year, Alyssa had a St Bernard dog representing all the work she had done with search and rescue as a volunteer, Megan had a surgeon one after her major surgery and getting her certifications back, Owen got a baby boy for Leo, Nathan had challenged Teddy as she didn't know him as well she had chosen a simple Christmas tree for him.
Owen, knowing the tradition had chosen one for Teddy, a trio of snow people, two adults and a little one with our first Christmas and one of the snow people having a baby bump.
"Owen," Teddy whispered when he put it in her hand.
"I love you," he said, pulling her into a hug.
"I love you too," Teddy smiled before kissing him.
"Hey children present," Megan laughed
"Lyss and Leo have both seen it," Teddy replied, "if you shelter your son from healthy relationships thats up to you."
"He's seen us kiss," Nathan said.
"We taught that affection and touch with consent was normal and healthy," Teddy replied.
"What's consent," Faroke asked.
"It's you asking a person if you have their permission to enter their personal space," Owen said, "to touch them, to hug them, to one day kiss them. The other person always makes the decision if you can enter their space."
"And you don't get mad or upset when someone says no," Nathan added, "they can say yes today and not tomorrow and it's their choice."
"It is a conversation between two people," Megan said.
"It's a life long discussion," Teddy replied.
"Right now you ask people to touch them," Nathan said, "you want a hug you ask or if the person pulls back you accept it."
"Lets get these ornaments on the tree," Teddy smiled.
Owen held Leo in one arm as they decorated the tree.
"Ma ma," Leo babbled, "ma ma ma ma."
"Hi baby boy," Teddy smiled at Leo.
Leo reached to Teddy.
She sat the little boy on her hip and continued decorating the tree. Megan felt slightly outside the tradition as they decorated the tree listening to the story of some of the personal ornaments, the ones Teddy had chosen to mark Alyssa's milestones.
With the tree decorated they refilled their hot cocoa and sat to watch a movie.
"We need more spots," Alyssa laughed when she brought the popcorn bowls in.
"Faroke," Megan nudged the little boy who was curled between herself and the arm of the couch.
"I found a spot," Alyssa pointed to the side of the loveseat by Teddy and sat on the floor.
Half way through the movie Teddy forgetting Alyssa was an adult now and that Megan was there began playing with Alyssa's hair.
"If you're going to do that you could french braid it," Alyssa said.
"Get me a brush and hair ties," Teddy agreed.
"I can Lyss," Megan offered.
"You have Faroke asleep on you," Alyssa replied.
"It's easier with wet hair," Megan said.
"I've done hers dry many times, but yes in the morning when it's wet I'll do it for you," Teddy replied, "you can do it though Lyss."
"But I like someone doing it for me," Alyssa said, "only you and mom ever did fancy things with my hair. Grandma brushed and did ponytails or normal braids."
"One of us will do it in the morning," Megan said.
"Meg, she has a lot of thick, heavy hair," Teddy said.
"Where do you think she gets it," Megan asked.
"I thought it was your side," Teddy said, "Owen has a lot of hair."
"We all do," Alyssa replied.
"Is it one braid or two," Megan asked.
"Two," Teddy replied, "I can't get it all in one braid."
"I've tried for volleyball it doesn't work," Alyssa said.
"What's the plan tomorrow," Megan asked.
"Sleep in," Teddy said, "then we usually go ice skating but I can't or shouldn't I don't know."
"No," Megan said, "I wasn't allowed to when I was. Or to ski."
"I know I can't ski," Teddy replied.
"I don't want to skate so why don't you and I go do the last minute Christmas stuff and let the rest of them," Megan suggested.
"That sounds okay," Teddy agreed.
They finished the movie and Megan followed them all upstairs to tuck Faroke in.
"Lyss,' Megan called from the door.
"Night mom," Alyssa called.
"Why is your door open," Megan asked.
"Josie cat is on my bed," Alyssa said.
"Do you want a hug," Megan asked.
"Sure," Alyssa replied.
Megan slipped into the room and sat on Alyssa's bed. Alyssa put her book to the side.
"I remember when you couldn't fall asleep with out me sitting on your bed and rubbing your back," Megan said, "seeing that today at home how close you and Teddy are."
"Mom it's not a competition," Alyssa said, "I don't want you two fighting over me. I'm trying mom. I really am. I've been seeing a therapist once a week since I went back to work. I'm doing the work. Please be paitent with me."
"I just want to know you," Megan said, "I've never been in here."
"Even when I'm not here," Alyssa asked.
"I've looked through the door but it's your space," Megan said, "it's cozy. Did you do this?"
"Uncle Owen, Christina and grandma did for my 16th," Alyssa replied.
"The pictures," Megan asked about the frames on the nightstand.
"You and I," Alyssa said, "on your last leave. Us with uncle Owen and Nathan. Grandma and I, uncle Owen and I in Disney world. Camping with auntie Teddy and Henry the three of us went to the redwoods camping."
"Your family," Megan said.
"My family," Alyssa agreed, "I have that last photo of us on my dresser at my place and it was on my bulletin board in my dorm over my desk. I always take a copy with me."
"Alyssa," Megan sighed.
"I missed you," Alyssa said, "I needed you. I needed my mom."
"I know lady bug," Megan said.
"It hurt. It would physically hurt," Alyssa began to cry.
"Lyss," Megan whispered wrapping her daughter in her arms, "I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't change it."
"There were things that I had grandma and auntie Teddy but I wanted you," Alyssa said, "the first time I got my period. Uncle Owen has tried to explain it and he did the science really well. I understood the biology."
"My brother explained the menstrual cycle to you," Megan asked.
"He brought modes home from work," Alyssa said.
"He did," Megan asked.
"He did," Alyssa replied, "but he said cramps and I thought it would be like sore muscles from dance or volleyball. Not my insides all trying to come out. He didn't say it would be gooey."
"You get bad cramps too," Megan asked.
"The pill helps," Alyssa said, "but it was gooey and hurt and I wanted my mom. I sat in the bathroom crying because I needed you."
"Who was there," Megan asked.
"Auntie Teddy," Alyssa said, "she was getting worried I hadn't had one yet. I had heard her telling uncle Owen that if it didn't happen by my 15th birthday I would need to see a gynecologist."
"She did what I would have done," Megan said, "do you still get bad cramps?"
"On the pill with Advil it's manageable," Alyssa said, "I started taking it second semester of my freshman year at Perdue. I never told uncle Owen directly but I'm sure he found out from insurance because I was on his until I graduated. Auntie Teddy helped me figure it out with what to ask and what I needed to know. Do the cramps ever get better?"
"After you were born they did," Megan assured, "but I was also on the Pill until I was captured."
"That wasn't the only time," Alyssa said.
"I know," Megan said, "your prom? Graduations?"
"My first break up," Alyssa said, "I needed my mom to tell me it wasn't my fault. That it was Evan's stupidity. He had his friend dump me for him. He made Brandon do it. I wasn't good enough to be told face to face."
"No," Megan said, "who were you with?"
"He dumped me at lunch and I got Christina to come get me," Alyssa said, "then it was an auntie Teddy night so her and Henry tried."
"I know you missed me," Megan said, "I am hearing you had a lot of people that love you. You had people who did what I prayed for. I knew Owen and my mom. I hoped Teddy would reach out and Nathan. You've had a lot of people who loved you. I couldn't be there and no one could take my place but you were very loved my sweet girl."
"But it wasn't you and there was a hole inside," Alyssa admitted for the first time.
"I know," Megan said, "because I had an Alyssa shaped hole in my heart."
"Mom can you stay until I fall asleep," Alyssa asked, she hadn't asked anyone to stay with her since she was 11. She didn't even like boyfriends touching her as she fell asleep. She didn't cuddle.
"I will," Megan assured, "I love Alyssa."
"I love you too," Alyssa replied.
"Do you want me to rub your back," Megan asked.
Alyssa nodded.
"I tried," Megan whispered in the darkness, "I tired every day to find my way home to you."
"I know," Alyssa said, "I know that there was only one thing that would have stopped you from trying. Uncle Owen told me."
"No matter what happens ladybug I love you and am proud of you," Megan whispered.
Alyssa nodded. She hadn't realized how much she needed her mom to do this.
"Tomorrow can you make Mac and cheese," Alyssa asked.
"I will," Megan promised, "but I was told you don't like it anymore."
"It wasn't yours," Alyssa said, "I was being stubborn."
"That's my girl," Megan smiled in the darkness, "Alyssa I'm not going anywhere. You will always be able to talk to me, text, call, facetime visit as much and when ever you want."
"Really," Alyssa asked.
"Really," Megan promised, "sleep my sweet girl it's late."
"Don't leave mommy," Alyssa whispered.
"I won't," Megan promised.