They made it to the hospital. That fact didn't exactly comfort Kakashi because Hinata had passed out as soon as he saw Keiichi and Sakura crossing the emergency doors. Now both girls were in surgery with Tsunade and Shizune and Kakashi was left to throw worried glances at Sakura who was staring at the white walls of the corridor outside the operating room.
She was clearly in shock. He didn't need to be a doctor to know that, had himself been in her shoes more than once before and knew exactly what the blank look and pale face meant.
"Kitsune," he called out to Keiichi who was pacing up and down the hall. "Get a nurse over here to treat Sakura's injury."
"Taichou, Hyuuga-sama is—"
"In surgery," Kakashi interrupted him. "And it may take a while. Sakura was stabbed and is in shock, she needs someone to tend to her."
"I'm not in shock." Sakura's voice was so small he almost missed it but then her eyes finally met his underneath the porcelain mask and he could see the way they were glazed over. "I'm fine."
Keiichi stopped his pacing to look at the girl and Kakashi could see in the way he paused that he had just realised how much Sakura was in need of medical attention. He turned around without a word and hurried away.
Kakashi rummaged around his pouch until he found some gauze he could put over her wound. The moment his gloved hands touched her, Sakura's head moved so she could look at her shoulder.
"Oh," she whispered.
"You're going to be okay, Sakura-chan." He didn't know what else to say. Reassuring her like he had done so many times before sounded like a good idea at first but then she was turning narrowed eyes at him and he was suddenly feeling the same way he did when he fought a particularly strong enemy which was just ridiculous.
"Shut up!" She slapped the hand he had covering her wound away. "You said everything would be okay, sensei, and it wasn't! Things are as far from okay as possible!" Her cheeks were flushed and there were tears in her eyes and Kakashi felt like someone had sucker punched him. "Sasuke-kun deserted, Naruto is gone and Ino…" She broke off into a sob.
Kakashi was at a loss. He didn't know what to do or to say to comfort her. He had gone through what she did but Sakura and him were very different people. Isolating himself and diving head first into his shinobi duties was what he did. He didn't know how to comfort girls like Sakura.
"I'm sorry," was all he managed to say.
"I don't need you to be sorry, Kakashi-san," Sakura was shaking when she locked eyes with him. "I don't need you to lie to me and say everything will be okay when I know it won't. I just need you to go, leave me alone." She took a deep breath and turned her face away from him. "We both know you're great at that."
She was right.
He knew she was right. He also knew that this really wasn't all about him. She had lost her team in one go and now the teammates she was captain of and therefore responsible for, were in the brink of death. It was a lot for a teenage girl and he wouldn't hold the outburst against her.
The thing was, he really had no business being there, trying and failing horribly at consoling her. He was no longer part of Team Seven—there was no more Team Seven—and Haruno Sakura wasn't his student anymore. He had recommended her for Tsunade to take on as an apprentice but he was a jaded, broken man who could offer her nothing more than a fake smile and a pat on the shoulder.
It was with one last glance at her that he turned around to leave. Keiichi and a nameless nurse were behind him, clearly waiting for him to blow up at her or worse.
"Make sure she's okay," he said to neither or both of them and without another look at the pink-haired girl behind him, he left, leaving only smoke in his wake.
Sakura stayed the whole night sitting outside the operating room. There were a lot of nurses coming and going but she paid them no mind, only lifting her head when Hyuuga Hiashi and then Inoichi came.
Ino's mum, Neji and Hanabi were all there but she didn't speak to any of them. Didn't sit in comfort with them or even so much as looked at them, just stayed on the cold floor, trying not to shake so much.
She was still in just her bindings and mesh shirt and the nurse had healed her stab wound but she was still mostly covered in blood. Keiichi had left when Hinata's dad had arrived with just an awkward hand to her uninjured shoulder.
After hours of waiting, the doors opened and Tsunade came out of the room.
"They are both fine." It seemed like the room gave a collective gasp of relief. "Hinata can probably go home the day after tomorrow but I want to keep Ino here for observation for a couple of weeks. The poison in their system was a simple but effective one. Luckily we had the antidote here." The Hokage's eyes caught hers and Sakura saw how they widened before a frown appeared on her face. "What are you still doing here? Go home, Haruno. Get a change of clothes and come debrief me. I still need to know what the hell happened, I want a written report."
Sakura felt like someone was constricting her throat. She couldn't say anything to her Hokage, only nod obediently and turn around but when she was about to leave her eyes finally roved the girls' families. She saw how they looked so exhausted but also how relief showed in their shinny eyes. Even Hinata's dad showed some emotion on his face.
"I'm sorry," she choked out, bowing to them all. "I was team captain, it was my fault. I shouldn't have assumed we were safe until we actually crossed the gates. We were not even a couple of hours away but still, I-I should've—" She swallowed down a sob, her fists clenching by her side.
"Sakura-chan." Inoichi stepped forward, his hand landing warm on her shoulder. "Ino-chan and Hinata-chan are both fine. Don't beat yourself up too bad."
"Inoichi-ojisan…" Sakura looked at him with tears in her eyes, her voice shaking from the effort of keeping it all in.
"Now," he smiled at her, the exact same smile that Ino used to give her when they were children, "listen to your Hokage and go home, Sakura-chan. You need to get cleaned up and to give your report, okay?"
Sakura nodded at him and left, still mostly keeping her eyes averted from everyone else.
She took to the roofs as soon as she was outside, going full speed and not bothering to look up from her feet. She was shaking so bad by the time she got home, she almost couldn't open her window. She thought it was probably best her parents didn't see her in that state so she headed straight to her bathroom.
Sakura didn't bother getting out of her clothes, just lost her pouches and stepped right into the scalding water of her shower. It was probably too hot for her but she could barely feel the burn of it on her skin.
Ino had almost died.
She was barely breathing by the time Kakashi took her in his arms and Hinata couldn't keep herself up and it was all her fault. If she hadn't been too busy talking to them, she would have noticed the signs on the trees that a large group had gone by. She should have paid more attention, she should have been faster, she should have been stronger.
The tears going down her cheeks mixed with the water from the showerhead and Sakura swallowed down her sobs.
It was no use crying about it. All she could do now was better. She had to be faster, she had to be stronger and if training until she collapsed was what it took, then she would do it.
She got out of the shower and started putting her uniform on.
Standard pants, standard long-sleeved blouse and her flak jacket. Her red dress was ruined and she knew, objectively, that it had always been too attention grabbing. Maybe ninja like Naruto could get away with it because he had enough raw power to protect himself but she certainly couldn't.
She put her hair into the same style of braid Ino had done the day before for her. Her weaving fingers weren't doing a job as tidy as Ino's expert ones had done, but it would do.
Sakura had got it all wrong when she cut her hair during the Chunin Exams. The problem wasn't that she kept her hair long, it was that she wasn't strong enough for it.
Other ninja, better ninja, had long hair. She'd seen Orochimaru and even Haku fighting, it had never been a hindrance to them. Besides, she liked that style so she would keep her hair in this braid until she had the skills to back it up.
She wrote a detailed report, gathered her weapons and left.
Sakura got to the Hokage tower as the sun was finishing its ascent in the sky. There was already a hustle of ninja coming and going from different levels and she got to the Hokage's office only after bumping on two different genin teams.
"Dismissed!" Sakura heard her say loudly from the other side of the door. The proctor who had overseen their Chuunin Exam, Mitarashi Anko, stepped out and gave her a nod before quickly exiting the building.
"Hokage-sama." Sakura stepped into the room.
"Haruno." Tsunade-sama folded her hands underneath her chin. "Do you have your report already?"
"Yes," Sakura handed the scroll to her.
She waited patiently until the Hokage finished reading it, dreading the response she would get every time the blonde scowled.
"You were attacked by Suna nin?" Tsunade raised her eyebrows.
"Temari assured me they weren't sent by the Kazekage," Sakura fidgeted her feet. "I, uh, I assumed I should take her word for it instead of letting it escalate into a war with Suna. Was I wrong…?" Sakura trailed of in uncertainty.
"No," the Hokage scoffed, "of course not."
After reading some more, she put the scroll down and stared at Sakura. It took a few minutes of unabashed staring for Sakura to get enough of it.
"Hokage-sama?" She asked as politely as she could.
"You did good, Haruno." The Hokage sighed. "This mission went better than I could've ever hoped for."
"Forgive me, Tsunade-sama, but you don't sound very happy about it…" Sakura looked at her with her head tilted slightly to the side in question.
The Hokage sighed again before running her fingers through her bangs.
"I need you to know that I wouldn't have asked you to do what you did." The blonde was looking at her intently, with a serious expression on her face but sad eyes. "In the past, age didn't really factor in the types of mission a shinobi took. Things got better, I suppose, ever since the ban on early graduation at the Academy but I know they aren't perfect."
"Godaime-sama." Sakura said firmly. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but I have to say this. Doing what my village needs is what is expected of me during missions. It's why I tried to use Shinsei's attention to our advantage. It's why I went back to those missing nin's hideout and… eliminated the threat to our client. I won't fail you, Hokage-sama."
"No…" Tsunade-sama pondered. "I don't believe you will, Haruno." She clapped her hands to the table suddenly. "Well! There's also that second part of the mission to consider. I believe Suna will send a message soon to let us know about the outcome of their nin's attack. Expect a summons anytime. Good work, Haruno, pass by the mission assignment desk to receive your payment, I'll upgrade it to a B-Rank because of the missing nin. Dismissed."
"Hokage-sama." Sakura bowed and left the room.
The first thing she did was run towards training ground 3 and start her workout session. She would need to go buy herself some new weights soon but for now she needed to let out some steam. Her left shoulder still strained while doing her exercises but she ignored it and powered through. Anything to get her mind off the hospital.
She went to training ground 12 after her set and was greeted by a green blur sailing through the air towards her.
"Sakura-san!" Lee exclaimed.
"Lee-san!" Sakura couldn't help the big smile on her face. "It's so good to—" Sakura saw a glint of steel from the corner of her eye and ducked instinctively.
"You think you can disappear for a week and come back just like that, Sakura?"
It was Tenten, standing on a tree branch and smiling happily at her. She was out of breath and Sakura realised that she had been practicing with Lee moments ago.
"Oh, you're on." Sakura threw a kunai back and jumped to her level. Tenten parried and soon they were fighting avidly, exchanging blows and cursing at each other. One thing Sakura had learned very early on in their training sessions was that the older girl had a surprisingly dirty mouth. At some point, Lee had jumped into the fray and they were suddenly doing an all-out battle royal.
By the time the sun was at its apex, the three of them were lying on the ground, sweat glistening on their bodies and out of breath.
"Fuck, it's hot." Sakura complained and Tenten burst out laughing.
"I knew it!" She threw her head back and laughed once more when she saw Lee's pink tinged cheeks. "I knew you would start seeing my way. It's useless to have so much decorum in the world of ninja. Cursing is good for the soul, kouhai."
"Tenten, I don't think that's the kind of influence a kouhai needs from their senpai!" Lee said frantically.
"Sorry, sorry." Tenten waved her hand unapologetically. "You only think it's that hot because you're wearing the full chuunin garb, Sakura. What's up with that?"
"I just don't think bright red is ideal for field work anymore." Sakura shrugged before wincing and stretching her arms up high.
"Well, yeah, sure." Tenten nodded. "That doesn't mean you have to go full standard uniform, you know. Maybe get at least a short-sleeved shirt?"
"Or you can get one of Gai-sensei's suits! They let the body breathe without letting water escape and it's great for—"
"Lee, I would rather be poked on my eye for the rest of my life than look like Gai-san." Sakura said bluntly and Tenten laughed again. "Sorry," she amended sheepishly, kind of afraid she had overstepped somehow.
"Don't be sorry, Sakura-san," Lee surprised her by chuckling. "I suppose the suit isn't for everyone."
"You don't need to call me Sakura-san, you know." Sakura smiled gently at him. "I may not want to date you but you're still one of my best friends. You can just call me Sakura, Lee."
Lee looked at her a bit dumbfounded for a moment before bursting into tears. He smiled greatly and started doing cartwheels around the field while screaming about youth and beauty and how being considered one of her best friends was probably the best thing that happened that month and that he should do five hundred push-ups to show his gratitude.
"Crap, I didn't mean to do that." Sakura whispered to herself and Tenten snorted. "Anyway, I'm off to buy some new clothes I guess." She sighed exaggeratedly and looked at her friend from the corner of her eye. "And some new weapons…"
Tenten immediately turned to look at her, a big smile on her face.
"Lee!" She called out while pulling Sakura to her feet. "We're going shopping! See you tomorrow!"
They took to the roofs and Sakura let Tenten lead her, knowing that she would probably know where the best stores were. Tenten didn't speak until they reached a faded yellow two-story shop, squeezed between two other equally old buildings. It was near the training grounds and about a fifteen-minute walk to the tower.
"Oji-san!" Tenten called as they entered, the bell on top of the door ringing loudly. "We have a customer!"
The place looked like a fight had gone on inside. There were several weapons hanging on the walls and many short aisles holding different types of items ranging from exploding tags to complex seals. A counter sat on the right and behind it a traditional painting of a red dragon.
An old man came out the back separated by a dark curtain, his hair was completely white and there were deep lines on his face but something about the way he held himself told Sakura he wasn't a frail old man. He narrowed his eyes.
"Let me guess." He raised an eyebrow at Tenten and looked back at her in assessment. "Sakura?"
"I—I mean, yes?" Sakura stared dumbfounded at him before looking at Tenten with wide eyes.
"Don't try to scare her off, Jiji." Tenten rolled her eyes at the man and turned around to jump behind the counter. She started rummaging around beneath the counter and her voice came out a bit muffled next. "This is Sakura. Sakura, this is Oji-san, he kind of adopted me when I got out of the Academy. This is where I live and this—" Tenten popped back up with two dark boxes in her hands. "Is what you're getting today."
Sakura stepped up to the counter and her jaw hung loose when Tenten revealed the items. It was the most beautiful tantō Sakura had ever seen. The sheath was completely black and had two tiny red lines running along both sides and the hilt was the same dark red wrapped in black cloth, letting only a few crimson diamonds show. There was a cleaning and maintenance kit next to it.
"Before you say anything, just try it on." Tenten held the hilt out for her and Sakura unsheathed it, revealing a black shinny blade. "High-carbon blackened steel," she said while Sakura did some of the moves the older girl had taught her, "perfect balance and practically weightless in your grip."
"Not bad for a beginner." Oji-san nodded at her, an appraising look on his face.
"Don't you love it?" Tenten asked before she could thank the old man.
"I do, but…" Sakura offered the blade back. "I don't have enough money for all of this and I still need to replenish my exploding tags stock and get some new, more practical clothes."
"Tenten's friends get ten percent off anything on the store." Oji-san shrugged. "You do that blade justice and I'll throw in another ten and a pack of exploding tags."
"Aaand," Tenten rounded the counter and took Sakura by the shoulders. "Lee and I already bought the cleaning kit for you."
"What?" Sakura exclaimed. "You shouldn't have! Why would you-"
"Sakura, you made chuunin," Tenten smiled at her, a big sunny smile. "We're proud of you and thought you should have something."
Unexpected tears sprung to Sakura's eyes. It looked like her promise to never cry again was going terribly wrong but it was so nice hearing someone was proud of you. Her parents were distant and so focused on the family business. Whenever they did compliment her on something it was never on her ninja skills.
"Thank you, senpai." She smiled so brightly her cheeks hurt.
Tenten's cheeks coloured slightly and she smiled just as big. "I don't think I can be your senpai when you have a higher rank than me, Sakura."
"I still have a lot to learn from you!" Sakura insisted.
"Of course, you do!" Tenten brought her to the counter to pay. "We'll make you an expert in that tantō."
With her wallet considerably lighter and a promise to Oji-san to come back whenever she needed something, they left to a shinobi clothing store near the hospital. According to Tenten, the old woman who owned the place was the best at personalised clothing, that she was the one who did Gai's suits.
Sakura balked at that but Tenten rushed to assure her that her things were pretty and also fight resistant and that Gai and Lee's clothes were an abomination tailored to their liking.
Subaru-baa-san was half deaf and at least half her size. She had bright blue hair and a wicked tongue and she definitely had the best quality for shinobi garb even if she did insult Sakura's hair a lot. Sakura didn't really think the old woman could say anything about her hair given the colour she chose to have was neon, but she shut up about it when she got fifty percent off just because Tenten said she'd been promoted.
Subaru-bassan was a kind woman despite her sharp edges.
Sakura left the shop feeling lighter, like she could jump into a battle and everything would just flow. She wouldn't have any clothes that billowed or restricted her movements and she would have a reliable weapon when her chakra reserves failed her.
Tenten had convinced her to buy five items—some standard issued pants that reached just past her knees and that she would have to bind, shorter thighs than she usually wore for when it got warm, a skin tight black shirt with no sleeves and a slightly raised neckline to wear under her flak jacket, knee high black boots that looked like they could survive the earth blowing up and still look good and she exchanged her normal genin sandals and only payed a few hundred ryo more for black ones with closed toes.
Sakura was very happy with her choices and had already changed into the shorts and tight shirt.
"What's on your mind?" Tenten looked her in the eye but quickly averted hers, kicking a pebble away. "Nevermind, forget I said anything. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She gave a clearly forced laugh. "It's not like I'm any good at emotional talk, anyway."
"You're not making me uncomfortable, Tenten." Sakura gave a slight laugh of her own. "This is what friends do, right? Talk to each other?"
"I guess I'm just not used to having friends… especially female friends." Tenten's cheeks flushed prettily and she shrugged.
"You're doing great, Tenten." Sakura offered the girl a tiny smile before the thoughts that she had been pushing to the back of her mind resurfaced and it died shortly after.
"There is something bothering you," Tenten said quietly. "You can tell me what it is, you know? It might help."
Sakura highly doubted that. She couldn't possibly say all the terrible, terrible thoughts running through her head out loud and if she ever did, she was positive there would be nothing Tenten could do to help her.
There was something, though, something that had been bothering her for a while and just after the disaster of her first leading mission could she pinpoint what it was. Ninja were pretty useless on the field with injured comrades.
That first mission to Wave showed how unprepared they were to deal with it and the Chunin Exams made it clearer but she had to feel it like this—visceral and bone deep—for it to make sense.
Ino could have died.
If Kakashi's team hadn't interfered, she would have died and it would have been Sakura's fault. Because it didn't matter that all the logical and analytical parts of her brain told her that she couldn't have done anything about the situation. Sakura had been team leader. Ino was her best friend. It was her fault.
"I was useless." Sakura said finally. "Completely, utterly, useless against my best friend bleeding to death. Why don't they teach basic medic ninjutsu to team leaders? Just imagine how much lower death rates would get and no one would ever have to go through—"
Go through what I have, was what she was thinking but the words wouldn't make it past her lips.
"You know, that was one of Tsunade-sama's main concern for Konoha." Tenten smiled brightly at the mention of her idol. "She actually brought up to the Sandaime a program for there to be an iryo-nin on every team, but he shut it down."
"What?" Sakura exclaimed. "Why would he do that?"
"Medic ninjutsu is very hard and not many people have the aptitude to stay at the hospital and learn it." Tenten shrugged. "Konoha would lose quite a few able-bodied field ninja."
"That's just plain stupid." Sakura whispered.
"Yeah, well." Tenten smiled brightly. "Let's hope that with Tsunade-sama as Hokage we can flush out all that testosterone out of Konoha and actually get things done right."
Sakura let out an unexpected bark of laughter.
"Amen, sister."
"Wait a second," Tenten stopped in her tracks. "Oh my God. That's it!"
"What?" Sakura asked hesitatingly, not particularly liking the excited look on her friend's face.
"You should ask Tsunade-sama to teach you medical ninjutsu!" Tenten exclaimed.
Sakura stared at the girl wide-eyed. Where had that come from?
"Yeah, right." Sakura scoffed.
"No wait, hear me out!" Tenten put her strong, calloused hands on Sakura's shoulders. "Have you ever thought why you were placed on Team Seven? I mean, really thought about it?"
"I was the only civilian who had enough good grades to graduate, Tenten, they needed someone to fill up Naruto and Sasuke's team."
"But it's more than that, Sakura." Tenten's face was serious and earnest. "Team Seven and all the other teams aren't random. They each carry something from their antecessors. The Will of Fire carries on."
Sakura frowned at the girl thoughtfully. She wasn't stupid. She had read Kakashi's file before and she knew he had been taught by the Yondaime. She also knew that the Yondaime himself had been taught by Jiraiya and now Jiraiya had taken Naruto out of the village to teach him.
Granted, Orochimaru had been cast out of Konoha and Sakura didn't figure someone had planned for him to teach any of them anything—she had long realised that Kakashi was meant to make Sasuke his apprentice of sorts—but Sasuke was still under his tutelage now, weather it was a good thing or not.
All members of Team Seven had gone on to learn from one of the Sannin. That left her Tsunade.
"I imagine your chakra control is pretty good." Tenten said.
"What?" Sakura looked at her completely surprised. How had she known that?
"That's why you were chosen for Team Seven, Sakura." Tenten's smile was so big it must have hurt. "You have enough chakra control to follow in Tsunade-hime's footsteps. You were always meant to be her apprentice."
An unexpected flare of anger cursed through Sakura. How dare they set her up like that? She had never wanted to be a med-nin. Who were they to say that she had to be the Godaime's apprentice? But then common sense came back to her and she felt a different type of energy coursing through her.
This was good. Being Tsunade-hime's apprentice, being the Hokage's apprentice would change a lot of things for her, politically speaking. It would be just like having a clan backing her up if not better. Most importantly, she could learn how to keep her friends safe. She would never have to go through what she did the day before.
Before she could say anything else, a lone brown bird flew close to them, its yellow feet signalling its status as summoning bird. The Hokage was calling for her.
"Looks like the Hokage wants to speak to me too." Sakura murmured to Tenten.
Hey, peeps, sorry about the wait, life has been INSANE this past few weeks. I wrote a lot (I'm currently about ten chapters ahead of this) but I just couldn't get into the mindset to sit down, edit and post... Sorry, but I rather take some time to myself and give you something good than post shitty chapters. Even if I'm not completely satisfied with this one... -.-'
This A/N is about to get LONG, so prepare yourselves.
First things first, the name of the chapter! After quite a lot of freaking out on wondering just wtf I should name this chapter, I reread it for the 161421654th time and decided I should go with what this chapter is about. Ultimately, hidden behind a lot of angst and blushing Tenten's because Sakura is just so cute, it was about giving the MC something to inspire her to grow. A series of happenings is making Sakura go through despair and angstangstangst so she can build herself up and improve herself. Every main character in Naruto had that moment (Sasuke and the Uchiha Massacre, Kakashi and his team, etc) and even Sakura had hers (the Forest of Death) but the authors didn't follow through. So, yeah, this chapter is called Sakura Saku (Sakura Blossoms), the same name as the episode where Sakura cuts her hair and 'leaves behind' her childhood ways.
Second! Did you guys like Kakashi's PoV? I personally hated it and you guys shouldn't expect another one of those for quite a while because our main boi is going to do his usual disappearing act, but I promise that he'll be back and, oh boy, am I excited for when that happens hihi
Third, I don't know! I didn't like this chapter at all and I thought that Ino and Hinata's wounds were a bit confusing? If anyone didn't get it, the first weapons thrown at them were coated in poison and that's why Ino has to stay longer at the hospital and why Hinata passed out when they got there (all the running making her blood pump faster and making the small amount of poison from the tiny cut she got spread faster). Sorry, about that but I literally couldn't look at this chapter anymore and had no idea of how to make that better.
Now let's talk about Sakura. My sweet baby snapping at Kakashi at the begining was kind of harsh, but please bear in mind she's going through a lot, things are going to get VERY angsty with our main gurl, especially as she goes through the good ole teenage days. Imagine having to go through those hellish years of finding yourself while still coming to terms with the fact that her body was basically a tool for the village and turning into a killer. Sakura, with Inner's help, found a bit of a coping mechanism of shutting herself away from reality but it'll still have some consequences. The chapter itself, was supposed to represent that. In the begining, Sakura is worried/in shock, after hearing her Hokage's orders, then she shakes herself off and buries her emotions during her shower/putting her 'armor' on and we see her do a complete 180 while with Tenten. I hope that came through, I feel like a shitty writer.
OKAY. I'M DONE.
Thank you so much for reviewing! You guys have no idea how happy it makes me and I'm sorry I couldn't get back to all of you, I'll try my best from this chapter onwards to reply to you guys as soon as I see the comments 3