Disclaimer: Touhou Project in its entirety belongs to its proper owner(s). I own nothing.

Enjoy.


…how much time had passed?

…minutes?

…hours?

Satori didn't know.

An entire day could've gone by and she wouldn't have noticed, much less cared. Her right arm had gone to sleep, pinned between herself and the cabinet. She didn't care. The ravenous hunger that she had when she woke up had grown into full on starvation, the worst she had ever felt in her life. Again, she didn't care. To her, none of that mattered.

Not now.

Not anymore.

She had long since stopped crying. Not because she had gotten over the news of her two dearest friends leaving her. Gravely mistaken is the fool who would even dare to considering such a thing. No, she no longer cried because she had simply run out of tears to shed, dried and chapped lips a testament to her dehydration. Still though, she sobbed, her shoulders heaving every few seconds, but they had become less intense and less frequent, if only due to how tired her muscles had gotten.

Her pets were worried for her. Many have come to see what despair had befallen their master, yet none dared to approach her. Not from fear of Satori, they knew her to be a kind soul deep down, but from apprehension. They could sense something was off aside from her emotional turmoil, a distinct absence plaguing their minds whenever they draw near the kitchen.

That absence was Satori herself.

Or rather, the mental probing they were so accustomed to in their day to day lives, the presence of their precious master residing in the back of their heads. They had realized a long time ago that, under normal conditions, a satori has no control over their abilities to read the hearts of others, and only though great distraction or losing themselves in a daze could they ignore it, but never actively turn it off.

However, what isn't well known, is that they have a defense mechanism of sorts. If the inner thoughts of a satori are turbulent enough, if their emotional distress is great enough, then their subconscious mind will do what their waking mind cannot, and suppress their powers. This is the one "mercy" granted to the satori: to keep the minds of others off their own in times of anguish.

None of her pets had experienced this before, but had a certain kasha or hell raven been present, they might just recognize it, from a certain day, long ago…

A pained gasp escaped Satori as a particularly intense hunger pain racked her body, strong enough to cut through her clouded mind. This time it was too much for her to ignore, and with much effort Satori uncurled herself and sat back on her haunches, needing to take a moment to grit her teeth and endure the sensation of pins and needles coursing through her now freed right arm. She took one last second to gather her strength before grabbing the countertop and hauling herself up to her feet.

Balance took a minute to return to her, and it took another minute before she felt confident enough in her motor control to move about and put together a meager bowl of rice. She didn't risk trying to carry it over to the table though, instead opting to eat right there at the counter, one grain at a time. Her juice had long since gone warm, but it still helped to wash it down.

How could this happen?

The question had gone through her head dozens, no, hundreds of times since she first got that dreadful news. But no matter how many times she thought about it she kept coming to the simple conclusion: that she was to blame. Even now thinking about it sent a pang through her heart.

She was a fool. A complete and utter fool. Here she was, Satori Komeiji, Mistress of the Palace of the Earth Spirits, the Girl Even the Vengeful Spirits Fear, she who holds direct control over the Hell of Blazing Fires! And yet, despite her prestigious position and fancy titles, she couldn't even manage to hold onto what few friends she had.

Was it any wonder she never had visitors?

Satori sighed. She had heard it of course, the reason nobody ever came around. Whether it be in hushed whispers between the evil spirits or stray thoughts from the occasional youkai who passed too close to her palace, she knew what they all really thought of her.

Rude.

Creepy.

Insensitive.

Off-putting.

Unwelcome.

And that was just due to her lack of social skills, before her mind reading was factored in.

Hearing what others actually thought of her made Satori truly appreciate Orin and Okuu, with their willingness to stay beside her all these years. She had heard a phrase once, 'the patience of a saint,' and from how she understood it she saw no one else more fitting of that description than her two best friends.

Of course, it seems she found the limits of their patience, as now they were gone…

Another harsh sob broke the silence that had filled the kitchen. Satori's head fell towards the counter, landing with a thump on her crossed arms. Orin. Okuu. What was she going to do? The palace halls were already quiet enough as it is, but without them running about, causing a ruckus as they tend to do, it would be unbearable. An omnipresent silence, an everlasting reminder of what she drove away, of what she lost.

Was this it? Was this how she was destined to live out the rest of her days? Haunting these hollow halls like a vengeful spirit trapped on the surface, alone and drowning in sorrow over what once was?

That was no way to live.

If the monotonous repetition of her daily life she had been experiencing was already a horrid existence, then anything worse she could safely call a fate worse than any death. She'd rather have her soul eaten by the worst denizen in all of Hell than live in utter solitude, void of the love and companionship she was so familiar with.

"Orin…"

Hoarse words escaped her lips as memories of the kasha filled her mind. She was always so bright, so cheery in a way that was certain to sooth whatever tension Satori felt. During the extremely few times they had visitors Orin was always right there beside her, sending her gentle thoughts of reassurance while she kept her muscles tensed, ready to leap into action should their guest lose their patience with the Mistress of the Palace.

Don't worry Miss Satori, I'm here.

I'll make sure they don't try anything.

If they do lash out, they won't make it past me.

All these thoughts and more, letting her know that she wasn't alone. And even if Satori wasn't completely helpless on her own, having Orin and her ever-present smile by her side always made her feel more secure. Even just having her as a twin-tailed cat, curled up in her lap sound asleep, would help ease her troubles away.

"Okuu…"

Where Orin was soft and tender in her warmth, Okuu was bright and overflowing, an unending spout of love and affection reserved for those she held dear. Her thoughts were simple, but also earnest and true, with not a bad bone in her body to taint her thinking. Many times a day Okuu would fly into the room, cuddle up against her, and launch into a story of some sort.

Miss Satori, you won't believe what I heard!

I was at the market and something really strange happened, Miss Satori!

Miss Satori, Orin was chasing me again and-

'Miss Satori' may have been her formal title, but she heard it dozens of times a day from Okuu alone, and Miss Satori herself never tired of it. Even when she gained her godly powers, she didn't let her newfound divinity change a thing and continued to perch on her shoulder like normal, bright as the suns she could now create. No, it was never a sad day with Okuu around.

"Why…?"

She could still remember the first day she found them, albeit a little hazy on the details. It was shortly after taking up residence in the Palace of the Earth Spirits. She had found that managing the Hell of Blazing Fires was a very demanding job, too much for her to do on her own, so she had gone to seek help. Despite their shared status as outcasts, the residents of the Underground weren't particularly keen on having a satori in their midst and soon she found herself fleeing down an alleyway to escape the commotion she caused. It was then that she heard a hiss from nearby and went to investigate.

There, hidden behind a crate, were two small youkai, a kasha and a hell raven. The hell raven was backed against the wall and tried to take flight when it saw her, but its wings were coated in gunk, leaving it unable to fly no matter no hard it flapped. The kasha stood between them, back arched and fur a matted mess, tails twitching as it tried to scare her off.

Ah! P-Please, don't harm us!

Don't worry Okuu, I won't let it touch you!

But Orin, it might hurt you!

Satori thought of backing off, having already caused enough trouble for one day, but their thoughts gave her pause. She looked them over, noting how thin they were and how badly the hell raven's wings were messed up. She knew she couldn't just leave them there, so Satori got down on her knees and spoke in a quiet voice.

"Hey, it's okay. Orin and Okuu, was it? I promise I mean no harm."

Hearing their names seemed to catch them off guard, Orin relaxing just a bit as Okuu took a cautious hop forward.

You… can understand us?

It was Okuu who asked, always having been a tad more trusting than Orin.

"Yes, I can. My name is Satori. Your wings don't look too good, Okuu. Would you mind if I take a look at them?"

It took a lot more prodding, and even having to endure a swipe from Orin, but eventually Satori was able to convince the two that she wouldn't hurt them. Okuu let her inspect her wings, helping to clean off as much of the grime as she could until she was airborne again. After that it didn't take much effort to get them to come home with her to rest up. Within a week they had regained the strength they needed to take on humanoid forms, and by the time they were strong enough to take care of themselves they were all too happy to stay forever.

Satori made a choice that day, a choice that rewarded her with the two greatest friends she could have ever hoped for.

And now…

A fist slammed on the counter, rattling the dishes and startling a bat flying down the hall.

"No…"

The fog in her mind began to lift, stray thoughts once again whispering in her ears. Somewhere inside her, Satori felt that endless pit she'd been carrying around for months start to lessen, as something she hadn't felt in a long time began to take its place.

"No."

She tightened her fist. Motivation. Passion. A burning drive to move forward and achieve something. That was the feeling she sensed growing inside her.

"I will not."

Her mind was clear. All through the palace the animals and spirits paused as a familiar presence returned to them, far stronger than when it left.

"I. Will. Not."

All the memories. All the feelings. All the wonderful times they've had. Was she really going to just let it all slip away while she wallowed in self-pity?

"Not again."

No, she would not.

Satori stood up straight, the fires of passion burning away the aches in her muscles, a steely look in her three eyes that hadn't been seen in ages.

Orin.

Okuu.

She didn't know where they had gone, or where they were heading, but Satori was going to find them. She will find them, and when she does, she will apologize for what she had done, for how she had neglected them. She will beg, plead on her knees if she has to, anything to get them to come home.

She wasn't going to lose any more family.


Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave a review, otherwise thank you for reading and stay turned for more!