Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters
A/N: Before you read this chapter, let me remind you again that Inuyasha and Kagome knew the outcome of Rin's pregnancy all along, but in the frenzy and anxiety of the moment, neither of them remembered the second warning that Sesshomaru of the future had given them (Ch.8). So, at this moment Inuyasha still does not know that his brother has attacked his mate.
Chapter Sixty-Seven: Pride
The chaos that arose from the events of that day was a natural consequence, one that Sesshomaru had already prepared for. To what extent, he could not have known, but from previous disturbances, he could have some idea.
News of what had happened spread like wildfire, and within hours, whispers had already begun to follow him everywhere. The inhabitants of his lands didn't even know what topic to discuss first, so juicy and interesting everything was. Not to mention that, as always, people were divided; some had rejoiced and others were outraged.
Should one be sorry for Sesshomaru's loss or upset for what Noboru had dared to do to Inuyasha's mate? Those who were sorry for Kagome wondered how they had gotten to that point and what the consequences would be. But at the same time, as far as the dai-youkai situation was concerned, they wondered what Sesshomaru's reaction would be. While they did not condemn his choice of a human mate, it was undeniable that the latter was not capable of giving him an heir.
At the very least, Sesshomaru considered, they had offered him condolences and he didn't think they would rub salt in the wound. If he stated that he did not wish to try again to have children at that time, they would have accepted without complaint. They recognized that their General was perfectly capable of ruling for centuries more without the need for an heir born directly to him. Sesshomaru knew he didn't have to fear indelicate pressure when it came to this part of the court.
On the other hand, some enjoyed the misfortunes of others — though these were a minority. Those who stubbornly refused to accept anyone who wasn't pureblood considered it a good omen that the attack on the priestess and the death of the little half-demon had happened on the same night. Most of all, it gave them the opportunity to complain with renewed vigor and new motivation.
Sesshomaru gritted his teeth at hearing certain words whispered — not even that softly as if they wanted to get it safely to his ears — and he was also glad that Inuyasha was currently cooped up in his rooms, looking after his mate. If the older brother continued to keep his cool, he also knew full well what would happen if the younger one came out and heard people saying how sorry they were to know that nothing serious had happened to Kagome. The last thing they needed was a half-demon attacking the castle's inhabitants without distinction, giving vent to his wrath.
He, too, would have preferred to stay at Rin's bedside. But unlike Inuyasha, who was just the heir — and, for the most part, didn't even seem to have fully recovered his lucidity — Sesshomaru was the Inu-no-Taisho and, as such, had duties to consider. Staying locked in his room would have only aggravated the situation. Instead, his job was to try to restore order as soon as possible, without giving too much space to chatterers of the worst kind.
Of course, the category once again included Commander Shou's family and the elderly Goro. The two still got along very well, even though the latter had lost his privileged position, especially now that they had a chance to prove how unsuitable the woman Sesshomaru had chosen was.
The dog demon still didn't know how he was going to deal with this last point; the only thing he was sure of was that he wouldn't give in to people that still wanted to impose a woman on him just to win favours already lost long ago. And it had to be said that the stubbornness of Shou's family rivalled that of Inuyasha's as well. Its members had been humiliated beyond measure over the centuries, especially since the half-demon had become his heir, yet, they continued stubbornly to pursue their delusional goals. It was clear to everyone that they would never get what they wanted, but they kept insisting. In doing so, they didn't even realize they had ruined Keiko's chances of finding a good match forever.
Sesshomaru would have to find a way to shut them up momentarily anyway, at least until Kagome and Rin recovered and the situation was somewhat restored.
He was just thinking about how to arrange this as he returned from the dungeons where Noboru had been escorted and partially treated. Even though he was a prisoner, they couldn't allow him to die in a cell without either of the brothers truly exercising their vengeance. But Sesshomaru was convinced Noboru would have never really perished from his injuries; when Kagome had attacked him, her energy had not been much and as a result, the force of the impact had been less. If this had not been the case, Sesshomaru doubted Noboru would have survived. Over the years, the priestess' spiritual strength had been increasing, mostly due to her continuous training, but in drastic situations, Sesshomaru understood it was impossible to attack at your best. Even a demon, if without strength, could have done little, and Kagome, being human, had been at a greater disadvantage.
Therefore, Noboru had been assisted — reluctantly, by the healers who now knew Kagome well and held her in high esteem — and then locked up under constant surveillance with special care. Sesshomaru had just finished discussing guard duty with Katsuro to make sure no one could infiltrate as had happened during his uncle's first imprisonment. The only positive note of the whole matter was that they didn't have to suffer the delusional complaints of the latter because, after collapsing, he still hadn't regained consciousness. He was probably using all his energies to heal from the spiritual attack received by Kagome.
At that moment, after having finished with Katsuro, Sesshomaru was walking through the halls and trying to ignore the most malicious voices as he finally made his way to his mate. It had been his mother who had kept her company for the most part, and for that, he was grateful.
Kimi had never been a demoness prone to staying in one place for long, let alone staying in the same room for more than a day. He had never even had a close relationship with her, nor had she sought him out, from the time he was little; after all, his mother had always believed in disregarding feelings like affection. However, he realized that since that night when he had first sought out Inuyasha and Kimi had proposed that most unlikely alliance, his relationship with the latter had improved as well. In ways he never would have thought possible. And now, his mother didn't hesitate to declare herself available where needed.
It cost his pride to admit that, without help from his brother or mother, life in those days would have been much more difficult. But it had become apparent to the dai-youkai that, sometimes, to live peacefully, one had to let go of pride a little. And to say that the older version of him had always considered that one of the most important qualities, a necessary cornerstone to consider himself a demon worthy of the title.
He would never have openly admitted such a thing — and probably everyone around him was aware of it — but he was still grateful for his change, even if he still struggled to recognize himself at times.
To the outside world, and to those who didn't really know him, he remained the same person he had always been. But inside, a transformation was underway; he didn't even know when it would end.
Arriving in his room, he was disappointed to find Rin with her back to her mother again — he had learned it meant she didn't feel like talking and didn't want to be bothered either. It was an attitude that had been going on since she had woken up the night before, and it didn't bode well. Sesshomaru was afraid she might shut down, no longer letting him in.
To his horror, he had also realized he had no idea what he could do in situations like this. Moreover, the one person to whom he could have asked for help was recovering from not inconsiderable injuries. Kimi, of course, knew even less than he did.
He silently approached the two, greeting his mother with a brief nod and stopping next to his mate. He gently brushed her hair, but she gave no sign of hearing him or even wanting to greet him, though Sesshomaru could sense that she was awake and conscious.
It hurt him, he couldn't deny it, but at the same time, he understood that this was Rin's chosen method of not succumbing to her pain. He would have much preferred the girl who had cried on his shoulder so many times before. The fact that this time she had decided to do differently was undoubtedly due to the tendencies she had acquired since coming to stay at the palace. In this, unfortunately, she had been influenced by him.
He promised himself again to talk to the miko about it.
Finally, although Rin still made no sign to acknowledge him, he greeted her affectionately to let her know, in some way, that things would never change for him. They would also share this pain together, and always together, they would overcome this other trial.
"Good morning, Rin. I hope my mother has kept you company enough." Silence. "I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner, but something happened yesterday that, as soon as you feel up to it, I'd like us to talk about." They had thought it wise not to inform her of Kagome's condition because they didn't want to unnecessarily alarm her and make her feel worse. But he knew the topic needed to be broached sooner rather than later. Even if it wasn't ideal for a one-sided conversation.
When he continued to receive no response, he finally took a seat next to her and was content to watch her for a few minutes while his mother left them alone, not before saying that she would wait for him in his office.
She would give her son some time to spend with his mate, but then, they would have to discuss what needed to be urgently done.
No, those were definitely not the ideal conditions to heal from their wounds, neither for Sesshomaru nor Rin, but there was nothing else they could do at the moment.
The demon gave a final nod to his mother but did not look away from his mate.
When they were finally alone, he resumed talking, the central theme more or less always the same. He didn't want her to feel oppressed or forced to speak, so he kept his tone affectionate and delicate, as he reserved only for her. He reminded her of how they had met, how far they had come together and how difficult it had seemed at times. But most of all, he confessed to her how strange it made him feel, in some ways, the change that had taken place in him, thanks mainly to her closeness and her positive influence.
It was equally strange to hold a one-sided conversation because it was something he had never imagined he could do and so out of character for him. But he was convinced that Rin was listening to every word and that she would treasure them. Plus, he knew it would please her to know Sesshomaru acknowledged how much his transformation was important.
He couldn't say how long he spoke when he realized it was time to go. Before he left her, however, he leaned in to kiss her gently on the head, and only then did he sense the slightest reaction. Her body had begun to tremble slightly, and on instinct, he lay down beside her, holding her and trying to make her feel protected within his embrace.
Finally, speaking directly into her ear, he whispered, "I want you to always keep in mind that whatever happens, every day of our lives, I will always be here beside you to share the emotions that come with it. I am your mate, and as such, it is my job to support you." He kissed her hair one last time and stood up. "Whenever you want, I will be here waiting for you."
Leaving the room, he didn't look back one last time, but he clearly heard the woman begin to cry. He felt a strange pang in his chest that he had never experienced — nor could he have classified it — in understanding that Rin had not dared to let go of her pain in front of him and had waited for him to go away.
Finally reaching his mother, Sesshomaru wasted no time in pleasantries and told her what was happening in great detail and where they needed to intervene.
"Well, it seems obvious in these cases that you need to remind them who rules these lands. You wouldn't want them to continue to speak freely like this, would you? These rumours and their assumptions will only get worse."
"I know, mother. For this reason, I had already decided to order an emergency meeting in the great hall. I will clarify what happened without going into too much detail and that such an attitude is not tolerated."
"Not that some people really care, but a powerful stance would always be useful to scare the cowards away," Kimi added with a neutral expression. She was sitting in an armchair, watching her son who, as was his wont, had chosen his favourite position: in front of the window, facing the horizon.
Maybe, whatever he saw really helped him to clear his mind.
"Surely, the news of what will soon happen to Noboru should intimidate more than one person. Cowards, unfortunately, are not in short supply."
There was no response from Kimi, and Sesshomaru misunderstood that silence for a second.
"Are you, perhaps, saddened by his fate, mother?" he asked, turning to her and arching an eyebrow.
She chuckled as if even thinking such a thing would cause her hilarity so inconceivable was the idea. "Don't talk nonsense, son; what do you take me for?"
"Hn. I must have misinterpreted your silence."
"That demon hasn't been my brother for centuries," Kimi continued, in an expected motion of confession. "And perhaps he has never shown me who he really was." With that said, as if she didn't want to give her son the opportunity to ask her more or linger on the subject, she stood up to imply that the discussion was over.
"I guess tonight, while you're busy keeping the idiots who populate this castle in check, I'll be the one keeping the girl company."
"Hn," Sesshomaru repeated, going back to the scenery. Enough had been said.
"I'd wish you luck, but I don't think it suits me, nor that you need it, son," she said, at last, leaving the room and without even mentioning a goodbye.
Most of the time, they still considered it a waste of time to linger in parting sentences. But the reality was that they both found it absurdly difficult to indulge in such displays of affection, no matter how small. As much as their relationship had improved, falling back into old habits often seemed like the best option.
The sun was barely at its highest point and already the day had proven to be busy, but the tasks weren't over, far from it. Sesshomaru still had a lot to do. On his schedule, the most urgent consist of reaching his little brother and informing him of the decision he had taken.
Sesshomaru hadn't seen him since the accident when he had visited him to inquire about the priestess' condition. On that occasion, Inuyasha hadn't even bothered to greet him, much less turn to look at him. It had been like Sesshomaru wasn't even there, just like everyone else. Initially, the dai-youkai had believed that Inuyasha would attack him as soon as Noboru was escorted away. Instead, the half-demon had disappeared just the same, running after the healers, his sons in tow.
However, Sesshomaru also knew that an argument would not be avoidable forever. In those hours spent observing his wife, Inuyasha had surely had a lot to process and a lot of hatred to address to his half-brother.
When Sesshomaru announced himself a few minutes later and the guards let him pass, Inuyasha was in the exact same position; he hadn't moved a bit. Kagome was asleep on her back, and their children were currently absent.
The demon considered it a good omen; that way, they would be able to talk, and the hanyou wouldn't even raise his voice to avoid waking his mate.
Once the door was closed behind him, without even looking up, Inuyasha verbally attacked him.
Sesshomaru sighed; it would be another long conversation and not even the last of the day.
From the moment Kagome had been taken away by the healers, Inuyasha hadn't strayed a single second from her. The woman had only woken up on and off, and at first, she hadn't even been able to speak or focus on him, too dizzy from the medicine they had given her to deal with the pain. But the half-demon had wanted to stay by her side even when she was unconscious.
His children, equally worried and anxious, had kept him company for a time, but then Inuyasha had forced them to go rest. He didn't want them to feel sick from lack of sleep or hunger when they were still so young, and more importantly, he also knew how tried they were after the incident; they needed sleep. After several protests, Muteki had dragged his younger brother — as stubborn as his father — away, and Inuyasha was left alone.
It seemed to him like the last days, from the moment Kagome had left, had been a waking nightmare.
He didn't want to think back to when he'd seen her lying unconscious on the ground, or he'd feared he'd been too late. But those were feelings that were now ingrained in his mind that replayed them over and over again; they wouldn't leave him alone.
He felt like he was going crazy, especially now that he was alone.
The healers returned on and off to check on her wounds and general state; the last one had left recently after trying unsuccessfully to calm Inuyasha down.
Thankfully, Noboru's claws hadn't gone too deep and hadn't affected any major organs. When Inuyasha had asked, they had also told him that, in the future — and not now because she would need to heal — Kagome might very well have more children. The half-demon had been deeply heartened by this; he and Kagome had talked about having more children and trying again, even if not right away. If the medical report had been any different, Kagome would have been devastated.
Still, thinking about his mate's future pregnancy didn't bring to his mind the reason everyone had initially come to the castle: Rin. That was Inuyasha's current state; so destroyed that he didn't even remember to ask what had become of her, even though the more rational part of him already knew what had happened thanks to the warnings of his brother's future version.
He had not, however, forgotten about the latter which occupied his mind equally, especially considering the invectives he was hurling at him. He thought about how that whole situation was Sesshomaru's fault and how he couldn't take care of his mate the one-time Inuyasha had entrusted her to him. He stared at the dark marks on her neck and felt anger mount up in him at the thought of the hands that had clutched at her neck and nearly suffocated her; at Sesshomaru not being there and leaving her to almost die.
He was just contemplating that last thing when the door opened and Sesshomaru walked in, fueling his fury.
"One, Sesshomaru... one fucking time," he hissed, without even looking away from her wounds. "I thought you could be reliable and not let my mate almost get killed by a delusional, vengeful demon." When he turned to look at his brother, his golden eyes were partly red, and he was grinding his teeth hard, between which two slightly elongated fangs stood out. But it seemed that Inuyasha was keeping his transformation in check and avoiding losing his wits again.
"Your mother promised me that she would be safe; you promised me that we would always be safe in this damn castle. Instead, in addition to trying to kill my children, now Noboru almost succeeded with my mate!" he exclaimed, struggling to keep his voice low. But since he had someone else to pick on — besides himself — in front of him, he wanted to take advantage of it. Bringing up the past, then, had seemed natural to him.
Sesshomaru remained silent, not wanting to interrupt his outburst, knowing full well that Inuyasha was right. However, he made the mistake of turning to look at Kagome, and at that point, seeing what his own hands had caused, his mask collapsed for a second. He quickly pulled himself together, but it was enough for Inuyasha to finally remember everything.
His mind still didn't fully register Rin, only the last words of Sesshomaru's warning, the ones about what he had done to Kagome. He saw the guilt cross the dai-youkai's eyes for a second and remembered his words in the future, his apology. It shocked him, his pupils widened and he froze; he looked at his brother in bewilderment, not really able to believe he had forgotten something so important.
The marks on her neck had not been caused by Noboru — the demon had only had a chance to claw at her belly before being thrown off by Kagome's attack — but by Sesshomaru, his brother, when she had rushed over to help them.
"YOU!" he hissed, shaking visibly and slowly approaching Sesshomaru. "You, you did this!"
Sesshomaru stood still, realizing that what little he had let Inuyasha glimpse was enough for him to make the connection. "Inuyasha," he tried to say.
"Shut up!" the other interrupted him, raising his voice slightly, "I don't want to hear your shitty voice, see this fucking face of yours. How dare you even come here? How? After everything you've done and the trouble you've caused? Tell me, brother, after you almost choked her, did you see fit to let her walk away helpless so your dear uncle could finish what you started? After all she had done for you? Did you do it because she couldn't get you the heir you so desired? Did you want her dead because of it?" He continued to spew questions at him that overflowed with venom, and when he got to the last ones, Sesshomaru couldn't help the grimace on his face.
As rational and lucid as he was now, he knew very well that the last part was true; he had wanted revenge, even if just for a few seconds, for what Kagome had not been able to do.
Inuyasha flinched back, disgusted; he couldn't believe his brother had thought of such things! What about everything that had happened in those years? The change they had both gone through? What about that experience?
"Go away!" At that point, even his voice trembled. "Go away," he repeated, turning his face away as if nauseated by the sight of him. But in reality, he was trying to restrain himself and not attack him. If he stood in front of him for even a few more seconds, he knew he would snap, and nothing and no one could have stopped him.
Sesshomaru only nodded, even though Inuyasha couldn't see him, and inside he was amazed at the control he was exhibiting. The old Inuyasha would have jumped on him, and now, for something so serious, he was telling him to leave just to avoid unpleasant incidents.
He realized that the time had not yet come for an honest talk between them; perhaps it would have been better with the conscious priestess next to her mate. At least, he was glad to get a weight off his shoulders, and also, he thought cowardly, to not have had to confess his misdeed. Whatever had appeared on his face had had to be very clear for Inuyasha to make the connection so soon.
He looked at the two of them one last time and then disappeared.
The surprises, however, were not over for him.
As soon as he had closed the door, he found his nephew standing in front of him. Toga stared at him open-mouthed, the tray full of food he'd brought had slid to the floor, scattering rice and liquid everywhere, and he was shaking like his father just seconds before.
"It's not true," he muttered in a hushed voice as the guards next to him tried not to follow the scene and kept themselves busy by picking up the food on the ground. "Tell me it's not true, Uncle."
A/N: I'm really sorry for Sesshomaru right now, even if I'm proud of him because he has matured so much and now he respects his family's feelings, not only Rin's. And talking about Sesshomaru, you can find now in my profile a missing moment about him and the day he left Kaede's village with Rin.
Soon, you'll also read more thoughts from Inuyasha that will explain better how he feels about everything that happened - even with Rin. After all, as always with him, anger comes first and the rest.
I hope you liked the chapter and I 'see' you next week as usual.