Buck hadn't got any sleep in what seemed like weeks. Everyone had betrayed him, even Eddie. He had expected a cake and banner celebration when he returned, but he never did. When he walked into the station that next morning, after a rough night. No one greeted him, so he somberly walked into the locker room to get changed into his uniform. They didn't include him in any team lunches/dinners so he usually brought his own, and sometimes he never even ate a thing. He would sit in the locker room and look at a picture of what the team used to be or even read a book, no one even wanted to socialize with him so he was always quiet.
He would hardly sleep when he was at home, he didn't want to get in the way of Maddie and Chim whenever Maddie tried to invite him over, he always said he had plans; but all he would do is sit at home, and lay on his bed getting no sleep. He would get a little, but be up again. He got the cold shoulder from Eddie, and that's what hurt him the most. Bobby didn't call him "Buck", he called him "Buckley." and that was the one thing that made him upset. But he didn't want to cause any trouble to the others so he just got out of their way.
No one knew what he was going through. He knew they didn't care, they didn't care if he didn't show up for work one day. They didn't know he was having nightmares, they didn't know anything. Hell, he was thinking about giving up the thing he loved. He had been at work for a full week now. Whenever someone would bring up Chris to Eddie, he changed the subject immediately. Buck got left out of calls, he was stuck with cleaning the station. He was sitting in the corner of the room when the others came up the stairs from a call. They were all talking and Buck got his nose back in his book. "Thanks for having my back out there Chim," Eddie said loudly, loud enough for Buck to hear.
He would probably last another week before he quit. He would leave his uniforms here, and take everything out of his locker. He didn't want to do this, but he had to. He wanted to shut everything out. And so with that, he took everything out of his locker and left his uniform and the picture of the team and his resignation papers and left. He left the station for the last time. He walked into his apartment and bolted the door shut. He was depressed, he had no family. He wanted to get out of LA, and so with that, he did. He packed all his clothes and shoes into 2 different suitcases and put them in his Jeep. He even packed his pillows. He didn't want to write a note because he knew that they wouldn't care. And so with that, he locked the door and got in his car, and drove off.
He drove to San Diego, throughout the night. He stopped at a hotel and slept through the night. He figured that was far away from the 118. He had stopped at a gas station and was getting gas while he was looking at places that were ready to move into. He found one that charged 150 a month that was ready to move in ASAP. And he called the landlord of the air bnb that he found. And he was ready to move in. The landlord was ready for Buck to move in at 5 pm. He moved in later that night and was settled. Meanwhile, Bobby had walked up the steps at the station. "Has anyone seen Buckley?" he asked. "No, the last time I saw him was yesterday when he was cleaning the floors." Hen said. "I don't know where he is, and I don't care," Eddie said. Chim was the only person who knew Buck's combination to his locker because he had told Chim in case he was injured or something. So, he walked to the locker room.
And that's when he found Buck's uniform, neatly folded, and a picture of the team and a piece of paper. And he read the top "Resignation Form." and it had all of Buck's information on it. He flipped it back and saw nothing on it. This had shocked the fuck out of him and he didn't know it was coming. And so with that, he grabbed the team picture he left and the resignation form and walked out. "I, I um figured out why he isn't here Cap," he said, handing Bobby the form. "So you're telling me he resigned, without mentioning a thing?" Bobby asked. "Yeah, I found this in there as well; along with his uniform neatly folded," he said, handing him the picture. Chim had been the only one out of all of them noticing how quiet Buck had been when he was doing his chores.
"Well, let me just say ever since Buck has come back from after the lawsuit; he hasn't been himself. We've all been giving him the cold shoulder and he just mopes around when he's mopping the floors. And I noticed. I noticed the death stares from you Eddie, and Cap you are just ordering him around and holding him back from calls. You know the kid wants to get out there and be back to doing calls again. Eddie, you're just making it worse on him. I can't even remember the last time we've brought up Christopher and you changed the damn subject. And Hen, you are like a mother to Buck and you know that. Buck's been melting himself in the corner of the room, either reading a book or eating his own packed lunch he brought for himself because you all were shutting him out. And I know good damn and well Buck never reads. I expected better out of you all, including you Eddie you're supposed to be his fucking friend! But you give him the cold shoulder and don't bring up Christopher when he's around and that's probably the one thing that is hurting him the most." Chim said.
He walked upstairs, to get a snack and left the others to think. "Wow, we fucked up." Hen said. "Um, hold on. I'll be back." Eddie said. He walked outside, and found a lunch table, and pulled out his phone. He made his way to a photo, the last photo he had of him, Buck, and Christopher. From 3 months ago. 2 months before the lawsuit, and Buck had been back at the station for a month. Buck's smile was contagious, Christopher always called Buck his. And he looked up and saw Hen walking out. "Hen, I fucked up; big time." he choked out. "We all did, the 3 of us were stupid enough not to notice Buck. And now I am regretting what the fuck I did," she said.
"Christopher has been having nightmares about the tsunami. He's been screaming late at night. Buck was probably having the same nightmares, he's always so scared about losing Christopher when he's watching him or whenever they go out." he said. "And I betrayed him, that's what's probably hurting him the most," he added on. "Eddie, you need to realize that Buck needs someone to lean on, but we screwed up and never did," she said. "Uhh tell Cap that I'm going out for a little while. Tell him I'll be back," he said, standing up. "Ok," she said. He walked to his locker, grabbed his truck keys out of his duffel bag, walked to his truck, and got in. He turned the ignition and drove off towards Buck's, hoping he was home but what he didn't know was that he wasn't home and that he was in San Diego. He pulled into Buck's apartment driveway and got out and grabbed the spare key from underneath the rug.
He unlocked the door and walked in. Buck's apartment was a mess, pillows off the couch thrown everywhere, kitchen island a mess with dirty dishes. He walked the short distance upstairs and saw his bed was a mess, blankets were thrown on the ground, and his pillows missing. He took a glance at his dresser. All his drawers were open and his clothes missing. So that's when he knew, Buck was gone. Gone with no letter, except for his resignation letter and the team picture that he always kept in his locker. That's when he knew that he fucked up big time and he didn't know what to do about anything. He pulled out his phone and navigated to Buck's number. He pressed the text button and saw the last message when Buck told him that he was taking Chris to the pier. And the last message from Buck was "Alright I'll send you pictures." That was the last real conversation he had with Buck. He had been giving him the cold shoulder for a whole freaking month. And now Buck was gone. He walked out the door, locking it on the way out, and drove to the Santa Monica Pier; the pier Buck and Chris were at.
It had been a month since the pier was flooded, but the city had worked on it which only took them about 6-12 weeks to fix it. He parked his truck and walked the short distance to part of the pier and sat down on it. He listened to the water going back and forth which was soothing to him. Meanwhile, Buck had adjusted to the air BnB very well. He enjoyed the beach waves nearby and enjoyed the sunrise each morning when he was outside. The nice beach smell was relaxing to him. He usually even went on a beach walk in the early mornings. He had missed the others but he didn't know if they missed him. He wanted to make contact but he was scared too. Meanwhile, Eddie had been sitting at home with Chris, he had elected to take the day off so he could spend time with Chris. He had been told that there was a beach in San Diego that everyone went to.
But he was debating ongoing. He knew that Buck probably wouldn't be down there. So he just stayed home. Maddie had figured out from Chim that her brother had left. But she had noticed as well, but she never expected for him to leave out of the blue. But that next week, Bobby had elected for Eddie and Chim to go down to San Diego for a firefighter conference that firefighters were required to go to, in a month. And so a month had passed with no sign of Buck and they did, but what they both didn't know was that Buck was down there, in San Diego. They drove down there and found a close enough hotel to the conference that they were going to in a couple of days.
Buck had been sitting on his balcony, listening to the ripples of the waves going back and forth. Eddie and Chim had been grabbing a bite to eat before they went back to their hotel rooms and slept. It still had been daylight when they both were grabbing a bite, and they both decided to walk along the beach, right past Buck's view of the beach. Buck had been looking down at the sand at the people who were either walking on the sand or playing on the water and 2 familiar people stood out; Eddie and Chim. He spotted them automatically, but the one thing he didn't know was "Why are they in San Diego?" Eddie was walking, and he stopped and looked at the air bnb's facing the beach, and he spotted one familiar person that he knew.
"Uhh Chim, I might have found Buck," he said. "What? How?" Chim asked. "Because if you look at the 2nd floor of the Airbnb on the left; you'll see him," he said, nodding his head towards Buck's balcony. And Chim spotted him. "Damn, and we haven't seen him in a month. Just don't tell Bobby or anyone until we talk to him." Chim said. "But that's if he wants to talk to us," he said. "You have a point there," Chim said. Buck had stood up and walked back inside. He pursed his lips together because he didn't know what he was going to do. They were here, in San Diego for god knows what.
He wanted to talk to them: so damn badly. And he grabbed his phone and dialed Chim's number. Meanwhile, Chim and Eddie were standing there; thinking about ways that they could get Buck to come down to where they were. But that's when Chim's phone rang. He pulled it out and showed Eddie. "Answer it. But put it on speaker," he said. And with that, Chim answered it. "Hello?" Chim said. "How did you know I was here?" Buck said. "Buck, we didn't, Bobby sent us here for a conference, and I and Eddie had no idea you were here," Chim said. He added on, "Buck, why can't you just come home? It's been a month, you need to come home," "Can you give me a few days to think about it? I don't know if I'm quite ready to come home yet," Buck responded.
"Ok then," Chim said. He didn't wait for Buck's response, he just hung up the phone. Chim started to walk off, but Eddie stood there for another few minutes. He looked back at Eddie, who was looking at Buck's balcony. "Come on Eddie, he's probably not ready to come home yet," Chim said somberly. "It's just, Chris he uh, he," he took a deep breath. "He's been wondering when his Buck was coming home, and I keep having to lie to him every night he asks about him, it's hard but I have to do it until Buck comes home; but you're right, he's not ready and I understand that and I know you do as well," Eddie said. "We all understand, Buck's not ready to talk yet; nor come home to us again, we better get back to the hotel. It's getting late," Chim said, taking another gaze up at Buck's balcony. He walked off, Eddie following behind him.
A week passed, Eddie and Chim had left San Diego already and were back at the 118. They were still thinking about when they "ran" into Buck. Well, they wouldn't call it running into; they talked but they didn't tell Bobby and Hen that. Chim would maybe talk to Maddie about everything that went down and that he and Eddie talked to him. And Maddie would understand; even if she is missing her baby brother. Everyone would, and they already do. They know Buck isn't ready, they've given him enough space. But he wasn't ready.
It hit Eddie the worst. He knew he fucked up, and he did it badly. He treated his friend so damned coldly that he up and left LA. Meanwhile, Buck was packing everything up. He decided it was time to come home. He's been away long enough. He put everything in his Jeep, handed his apartment keys in, and he was off. He didn't know where he would go when he first got into LA. He could go to his loft, he could go to Eddie's, he could go to the 118. He had multiple choices, and he had to choose just one. Just one to get done and get over with.
And which one did he choose? Going to the 118. He knew everyone was there, as it was coming up at noon is when he arrived in LA. He pulled into the parking lot of the station, parked and hopped out, and walked into the station. When he first walked in, he saw what looked like Eddie underneath the truck. "So, I see you've taken over my job Eds," he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the truck. Eddie rolled out from underneath the truck with his tools and couldn't believe who was standing there. "Buck, I uhh. When'd you get back?" he asked. "I just did, I came straight here," Buck answered as Eddie was standing up from the ground and sitting the tools on the bench. "Buck. I-why didn't you tell us you were coming back?" he asked.
"Because I figured I would surprise you all," Buck responded. "Are the others upstairs?" he added. "They are; Bobby's just preparing lunch as Chim and Hen are helping with setting everything up," Eddie said. "Well, then I guess it's my turn to surprise them," he chuckled. He walked upstairs, Eddie in tow and he listened in on their conversation. "Chim, you need to realize Buck is going to come home when he wants to, we just have to give him his space and time. He needs time to think after you and Eddie saw him in San Diego," he heard Bobby say. "This is all they've talked about since me and Chim saw you in San Diego," Eddie whispered, making sure that they didn't hear him upstairs. "I thought about it though; when y'all left that next week after you guys left I thought and thought. And I decided it was time to come home to everyone," Buck whispered back.
"Bobby, Buck's had enough time to think; he should've been home by now," Chim answered to Bobby. "Chim. You KNOW Buck. He needs time; you even know that" Hen insisted. "Ok ok," Chim said. This was Buck's cue. He slowly, but surely walked up those stairs. No one knew he was standing right there until he said, "You gave me enough time to think, so here I am," while putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket. They all whipped around at the sound of the voice. And they couldn't believe it. "Buck. I-uhh, when'd you get back?" Chim stammered.
"I just did, surprised Eddie first. Then I came upstairs; as I walked in on your conversation about me," he shrugged. "Well, at least you're home Buck," Bobby said. They all embraced him in a hug, and Eddie joined in; even if he hugged him already. Buck was glad to be home. He was home. Where his heart was happier.
A/N: Happy Thanksgiving Eve my USA viewers! I hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving! Hope you enjoyed this! See you soon for Chapter 10!