Dusk had fallen by the time we found ourselves walking on park sidewalks . The lampposts bathed us in golden beams that flickered between living and dying with sharp hisses . Our walk was a lonesome one that only saw one person walk past us during the last thirty minutes.
" What's the point of us being here ," I said , coming to a complete stop in the flickering light of a lamppost. My feet ached from all this quiet walking that seemed to have no destination or purpose .
Light had been staring off into space for quite some time . His lips pressed together like he was trying to bite back a snarl . He walked with a calm gait that almost appeared self entitled with his head held up proudly . I never wanted to trip someone more in my life at that moment.
I reached for his bag and his hand was quick to catch my own. His nails sink into the soft flesh between my knuckles until I breathed out a loud curse . My free hand rolled up into a fist that was quick to swing at Light's pretty face .
That fist was quickly caught by Light before he slammed me against the lamppost. The cold metal of the post bleeds into my cheek and my teeth accidentally bite down on my tongue.
That hurt like a bitch .
"Stop acting like a bastard ," I snapped and Light's hands retreated from me .
His bag clattered onto the sidewalk in the midst of him retreating out onto the grass . A hand runs through the entire length of his hair, completely succeeding in ruining its neatly combed back look . He looks better with messed up locks of hair falling in front of his eyes anyways.
"Do you find it appealing being a killer, Akira?"
I pulled the Deathnote from the bag to hug it to my chest . Swaying side to side my mind silently debated about an answer to Lights question.
"Are you having a mental breakdown because you find being a killer appealing," I asked, smirking upon recognizing that Lights shoulders were trembling. He was either silently seething or actually feeling some type of fear .
The thought of fear wiped the smirk off my lips .
Was he really about to run away from all of this ?
I marched over towards the boy silently praying that nothing of regret would be marking his face or lingering behind his dark eyes.Standing before him revealed a mocking smirk that was lightly chuckling at my fiery glare .
Light had been playing me it seems.
" Stop pouting, you love playing mind games too ," He said before reaching out to snatch up the death note. I allowed the notebook to easily slip from my fingers .
Light was playing a mind game but not for the reason he wants me to believe . He did not bring me on a long walk in an abandoned park just to trick me into believing that he was having cold feet . No , he was having a little breakdown.
His mind was racing with fear or perhaps even latent remorse. Leading him to act a little odd due to the absence of his controlling logic . I could almost pity Light .
"Can we practice our handwriting now ," I teasingly asked , while slinging his bag over my shoulder. My smile was daring him to say no to my question.
A part of me always wanted to either rip out his throat or kiss his lips . Light was always doing strange things that made my brain hurt . He was a truly strange person but so was I .
"You always have a one track mind ," He muttered, gesturing for the bag hanging from my shoulder.
I handed him the bag frowning in annoyance at what was going to surely happen next . He put the death note back into the bag before surprisingly handing everything back over to me.
Then he started to walk back to the park entrance with a command for me to hurry up thrown over his shoulder.
I breathed through gritted teeth whilst holding the bag straps with white knuckles. Oh how the desire to write down his name was nearly overpowering.
Glancing down to the bag ended with me giggling. Light peered over his shoulder at me with an emotionless face .
My eyes were watering when I met his blazing ones . In the silent stare off we each came to a silent understanding about one another.
I wonder what understanding Light came to .
The understanding as I saw it was rather simple .
" We are either equals or each other's doom ," I said
" Why do you think I gave you that bag back , Akira ?"
I breathed out a hum in response trying to hide my annoyance at his response . Giving me back the bag could have meant a couple different things.
Why not trust me enough to hand me the deathnote to put it back in the bag in the first place ? Why did we have to play a game of tossing the bag back and forth between us ? It was all about control and Light had been barking out all the orders .
"Stop giving me orders," I said , tilting my head slightly while waiting for Light's response.
"Then tell me how you knew that the Death Note wasn't a sick joke,"Light said.
Oh… so we are bargaining now. That's better than just bitting out mindless orders at one another.
"Had a Death Note all to myself once ," I said , before falling into my old habit of wearing a sheepish smile ,"Glad to have someone else to share this secret with."
A part of me was relieved about having someone else know the secret . My heart sank at the thought of hearing Light say that he wanted to revoke ownership of the notebook.
" In all honesty it is really nice to have someone to talk to , Light ."
We have not had a need to talk to each other outside of class in months. It feels like a fragment of myself has been glued back into place with the introduction of Deathnote.
Light studied my face for a long moment with a pinched up brow . He was trying to find the truth and deception hidden with my expression or words .We truly played too many mind games with each other throughout the years .
" I have no interest in being a murderer," Light said, smirking a little at my rolling eyes before he continued talking ," I do have a interest in changing this rotten world and with the Deathnote we could change it for the better."
With that he began to walk off, probably expecting me to follow him like a curious puppy . Instead I stepped off the path before wandering deeper past the tree line . I let the bag fall into the dirt after pulling a pen and the notebook from it .
A snapping of a twig gave me enough warning to side step Lights tackle.
" Someone has been very busy ," I teased , giggling while watching Light spit dirty silva out onto the earth .
The paper crinkled underneath my tight hold. My nails drilled little tears into the parchment with a surprising amount of rage .
Why was I angry… This is what was meant to happen after all.
Glaring down at the neat columns of written names my ears are suddenly filled with the clicking of a pen coming to life . Lights hand wrapped around my ankle before tugging harshly on it .
My battle with balance ended with my head slamming against the roots of a tree that protruded from the earth . Splotches of darkness swarmed across my vision as I stared up at leafy branches.
The pen rolled off my fingers . My lips were painted in a light layer of blood from where my teeth had accidentally bit down on them . The back of my head burnt with an explosive pain that echoed with every little movement.
" Dummy…I wasn't going to write your name ," I whispered, attempting to not giggle at Lights eye rolling and his deep sighing .
" Why walk away to write a name then ?"
Licking my lips the metallic taste of blood was soon dancing across my tongue .
" You have a nasty habit of taking the notebook from me . I just wanted a decent chance at catching up with your kill count ."
Light hated that answer and soon my cheek was stinging from a rather powerful slap . His warmth breath was beating down upon the hair that fell over my right ear .My heart felt like it was fluttering around in my throat . He was glaring with such angry that for a moment I wondered if his teeth would sink into my throat .
" This is not a game ," He growled into my ear .
"If you slap me again then yes this will no longer be a game," I growled right back with all the honesty hidden within myself.
The Death Note layed on the earth with its covered edges being held loosely by one of our free hands . For a moment Lights fingers twitched around the notebook as if it was ready themselves to snatch it away again .
Then he let go of his edge before dusting himself off to stand .
"Best get writing you have quite a bit of catching up to do ."
Picking up the pen I smiled down at the book in my lap and said ," Soon you will be playing catch up ."
" Only write down the names of criminals, Akira ."
I hummed in agreement at that little rule .
Then the pen kissed the paper with great enthusiasm.
Dearest diary , Light had to pry the pen from my fingers to get me to stop writing names.